#does that make him mad too? maybe he should illegalize thoughts

[caffeinatedopossum]

I always find it funny how some people take using god's name in vain so seriously. As if God is his actual real name. Like what is he? A fuckin pokemon?

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three

TW: forced proximity, restraints, unequal power dynamics, sexual harassment

Officer Ludlow makes his way into your examination room not once but three times in the following two weeks. Once for torn stitches again. Once for broken glass embedded in his arm. (He seemed pissed about this, so you actually believe that a perp broke a window he was on the other side of, and he didn’t do it on purpose), and the third time for deep bruising and cracked ribs after taking a 9mm bullet to his flak vest. 

The thought that he might have done the latter on purpose terrifies you. They’re a great precaution but bullet proof vests do not prevent all the damage from a bullet. You can still get seriously hurt. So naturally, as you’re wrapping his ribs, you’re more than a little pissed off. 

“This had better have been an accident,” you grumble, forced in close quarters while you have to reach around his ridiculously broad chest with the bandage. You can’t help but notice at this point of his shift that the brain-addling addition of his own sweat and musk added to that edible fucking cologne makes for a near weapon of mass destruction on his skin. It should be illegal, for what it does to your insides. 

“What, you worried about me, sweetheart?”

“As a healthcare professional? Yes, this worries me. It could have been a lot worse.”

“If only I had incentive to be more careful…” he muses with a smirk, his stupidly handsome face just inches from yours. 

“Are all cops this fucking creepy?” You purposefully brush his side a little too hard and reign triumphant when he grunts in pain.

Kinda like shooting a bear with a handgun - it just makes him mad. 

He catches your hands again, only this time he uses the bandaging already wrapped around his torso to bind your wrists. He’s too quick for you to pull away, tethering you up with those beautiful hands that seem far too bulky to be this dexterous, tugging you forward so you’re more than a little cramped. You don’t think you can get any closer until he spreads his thighs and you fall right into the trap. 

You have to crane your neck to avoid being cheek to chest with him, feeling so fucking tiny and useless and enveloped. It pisses you off. It makes you burn with involuntary, awful want. 

“My little nurse speechless?” 

You try to glare at him, but it resembles more of a pout. 

“God,” his voice drops lower if that’s even possible. “You’re so fucking cute.” 

You want to jump off the roof for the thick, high choke of your tone. “You didn’t even ask me if I have a boyfriend.”

“Cuz I don’t fucking care if you do or not.” 

“Well I do,” you lie. “And he’s gonna kick your ass.” 

He snorts. “And I’m gonna let him so his girlfriend has to patch me up.”

“Fuck you.” You are seething with rage at this point, powerless, helpless, fucked in the head for somehow liking it. 

“Mm. What would you prefer? Fingers? Tongue? Cock?” He makes you gasp with a sharp tug at your makeshift bondage and that lewd word in his handsome mouth. “Yeah, that one?” 

“You’re going to get me fired.” You don’t know why you keep trying to appeal to his rationality and humanity, when both seem to not even be in his vocabulary. 

“That’ll free up your schedule so you can spend more time tied to my bed.” 

You’re terrified he can somehow feel the violent clench of your lower body. 

Maybe god does exist, but he has a fucked sense of humor. Your pager buzzes loudly from your scrub pocket as the automatic “CODE BLUE CODE BLUE CODE BLUE” goes off over the loudspeaker. 

“I have to go.”

“Yeah, yeah.” To his credit, and, let’s be honest, you’re super reluctant to give him credit right now, Tom loosens up on your wrists and lets you go attend to the patient currently in cardiac arrest.

[hermannsthumb]

Please please please more "Fake Dating for Funding"! I haven't read much PR stuff in the last few years and your newest piece jerked me right back to that old standby hyperfixation. It's so cute!!

answering this sooooo late, OOPS SORRY, but here's a little ficlet as i try to get myself back in the writing groove.... the original fake dating for funding fic is right here, but i was thinking over plot concepts earlier and this one made me laugh, LMAO

------------------------------------------------------

"I have a favor to ask of you," Hermann says one morning.

Typical of Hermann, it's blunt and to the point, no show of bartering or sweetening Newt up with dessert or anything like that. In theory Newt should be annoyed, but Hermann indebts himself to Newt so rarely (and never willingly) that Newt’s actually kind of interested to see where this goes. He pushes up his work goggles and strips off his gloves without a second thought.

Hermann is standing directly over Newt’s side of the yellow line, one hand balled into a fist while the other white-knuckles his cane, his shoulders hunched over. He looks extremely uncomfortable. On the other hand Hermann rarely looks comfortable, so this isn’t anything new, or something to draw immediate conclusions from.

“Okay,” Newt says. “Lay it on me.”

“I would not blame you if you found yourself thinking less of me,” Hermann says, “or outright rejecting the proposition. I’m aware it is far more than one typically asks of a…” He swallows. “Colleague.”

The word hangs awkwardly in the air between them. It’s not that it’s an inaccurate descriptor, but it doesn’t completely encompass the, uh, reality of things, being that they were a litttttle more than colleagues up until two months ago. (Not that they called themselves anything other than colleagues for the duration of that whole—indiscretion. It was a little confusing.)

Still, Hermann’s groveling, and Newt’s interested. “Oh, sweet,” he says, maybe a little too casually. Just two bros having a normal conversation about how they're nothing more than colleagues. “I’m totally in. What are we doing? Is it illegal or something?”

He could actually use Hermann’s mad computer hacker skills for something in the near future—Newt wants unrestricted card access to the typically very restricted hazardous materials storage in the jaeger bay for reasons he’s not going to disclose—and doing something illegal for the guy would be a great way to get him to do something illegal for Newt in return. In a favor-for-favor way more than a blackmail way, because Newt mostly isn't a dick. And anyway, maybe doing some platonic fun k-science bonding time will be good for them. Make things a little less tense. Newt’s been working on that really hard lately, mostly because his multiple Shatterdome transfer requests have been outright denied by the Marshal and he seems to be out of alternatives.

“No,” Hermann says.

He looks at his shoes. He’s about two unlucky inches away from stepping on a piece of kaiju spleen Newt dropped earlier and forgot about, and the fact that he’s not taking any precautions to shield his precious ugly wingtips tells Newt he means business. “Perhaps a little…morally questionable.”

“Oooh, Hermann, you’re such a tease,” Newt says. He tosses his nasty gloves in the trash can and scoots Hermann towards the cluster of their desks with a hand to the small of his back, ignoring the way Hermann bristles and digs the end of his cane halfheartedly into the floor. “Come on, come on, I’ll make coffee, stop looking so depressed.”

He does make himself a coffee but brews a quick cup of black tea for Hermann, which turns out to be kind of a waste of his time, since Hermann blatantly ignores the mug Newt slides in front of him. He’s gone from looking like the most emo librarian in the world to looking vaguely nauseous. If circumstances weren’t as they are, Newt might say it was making him look exceptionally alluring—that whole sickly Victorian lad thing really gets him going. “If you’ve forgotten,” Hermann says, “we’ve another of those foolish PPDC fundraisers soon, at the end of the month.”

“Oh.” Newt leans back in his chair, a little disappointed. “Is that it?”

“Yes,” Hermann says. “No.” He shakes his head gravely. He’s so dramatic sometimes, it’s kinda cute. “It is the root of the problem, but not the entirety of it. You’ll recall, I presume, how badly in need of funding we are, myself in particular for the Breach-mapping software I am attempting to develop.”

Newt does recall, because yeah, he is also in need of funding real bad. Can’t make awesome, ground-breaking advancements in the field of kaiju biology without any kaiju bits to study the biology of. That spleen currently threatening to ooze over the yellow tape line represents approximately sixty percent of Newt's remaining currently viable samples. “Uh, yeah?”

“I have,” Hermann makes a face, “a working theory, so to speak. You’ll further recall the similar PPDC event we attended in August of last year?”

“Yeah?”

“And the one we attended this year, in the week following our—”

“Yeah, Hermann, I remember.”

“Right,” Hermann says.

Newt remembers the second one more clearly than he likes, because having to make nice with Hermann to present a united front six days after a very, very stupid argument about Newt maaaaybe stealing half of Hermann’s sandwich—which ultimately led to a mutual and spur of the moment decision to dissolve the whole weird lab partners-with-benefits thing they had going on—was one of the more uncomfortable experiences of his career. Still, he made as nice as he could, because his supply of work gloves and Keurig pods were running dangerously low and he didn’t feel like shelling out the money from his own abysmally small paycheck for any.

He doesn’t know what was so significant about the other one they went to though, the one last August. It was humid. Newt remembers being so hot he had to take off his tie, and he lost it somewhere in the convention center afterwards. He misses that tie. Hermann hated it, which makes him culprit number one in its disappearance.

“We drew in significantly more donations in August than we did two months ago,” Hermann says, and opens the top drawer of his desk to produce a neat stack of papers, which he spreads in front of Newt to reveal a series of color-coded spreadsheets.

Newt’s eyes glaze over a little at the sight. He doesn’t bother extending the effort to confirm Hermann’s data—as much as he hates to admit it, the guy is thorough with his numbers and rarely wrong about stuff like this. He flips through it anyway to appease him. And, honestly, he thinks Hermann’s feelings would be hurt if he didn’t, and Newt really is committed to being a good labmate (y’know, for the very brief time being). “And prior to August,” Hermann continues, “you’ll note that the average sum total of donations we received per event was significantly lower. August was an anomaly.”

“Sure,” Newt says. “So what?”

Hermann slides the spreadsheet back into his desk, pulls his dorky glasses off, and exhales slowly: he’s getting to the point. Newt has a hunch what that point might be, but Hermann always looks funny when he gets into lecture mode, and Newt doesn’t want to interrupt it.

“I believe,” Hermann says, “that our—relationship status, which was significantly different on that occasion as compared to the rest—might possibly have had no small influence, for one reason or another. We certainly behaved more, er, affectionately, or tenderly around each other, and perhaps others took note and found it charming. Or some such thing. Of course I can't draw any conclusions from a single point of data, but I believe if we were to... Well, it's a bit silly, hearing myself now.”

“You want me to be your fake b-f so we can trick people into giving a shit about us and shake them down easier,” Newt says.

The tips of Hermann’s generous ears go red. “I’m aware it’s an unusual request,” he says, “especially considering… recent certain developments in our working relationship.”

It’s not exactly the fun platonic bonding time Newt anticipated, but he has a hunch Hermann might be on to something—the whole doomed romance, give us money so our love has a fighting chance of surviving the apocalypse thing, which they were apparently already inadvertently playing up. He’s willing to give it a shot. Making a joke out of it might actually help Newt let go of his last lingering nostalgia for that super brief period of time he and Hermann got up to after-hours hijinks and were almost amicable with each other. And, you know, on the other hand, if that doesn’t work, he could totally do the opposite of moving on and revel in the opportunity to do couple-y tender things with Hermann again.

“Yeah, sure,” Newt says. Real chill about it. He’s so chill, man.

Hermann blinks at him owlishly, clearly taken aback, but says nothing.

“It’ll be fun,” Newt adds. “It’s a good plan, great idea, it’ll totally work. Nothing has to be weird, right? I mean, it’s not like we were really even dating before or anything. There’s no reason for it to be weird. It’s definitely not for me. Is it for you?”

“No, er, of course not,” Hermann says. “It was my idea, wasn’t it?”

They’re totally over each other, but they can also totally pretend they’re not for a night or two, no sweat. “Cool,” Newt says, and repeats, maybe to convince himself, “It’ll be fun. We can dress up all fancy and wear matching ties or something and talk about how tragic we are. I’ll grab your ass in front of people and you can brag about how cool and smart and sexy I am.”

“You are not doing that,” Hermann says, “and I am not doing that. When have I ever—oh, nevermind. I am not averse to the neckties, however, especially if it means you’re at least attempting to look somewhat professional for our prospective—”

“Dude, come on, you totally just think I look hot in a suit.”

The splotchy red flush spreads from Hermann’s ears to his neck as he scowls at Newt. He doesn’t bother denying it: Newt’s sure they both vividly remember the most recent annual k-science research symposium when Newt finally let himself be talked into renting a fancy blazer, to look, uh, like the expert in your field you are, Newton, and Hermann had such a hard time keeping his hands off Newt in increasingly unchaste ways that they had to duck out early. I like when you look put-together and competent, Hermann said, or something along those lines, there was a lot of kissing going on and Newt wasn’t exactly paying attention to specifics. He ended up losing the deposit on the suit—which is why he stole the sandwich in the first place, actually. Very petty revenge. Full circle.

“Piss off,” Hermann grumbles.

“We’re gonna have to put in for just one hotel room if we wanna sell it, you know,” Newt says, the realization suddenly hitting him. “Maybe even one bed. It’ll look totally suspicious if we don’t, right?”

Hermann meets his eyes for a few awkward, quiet seconds, and then they both quickly look away from each other. Newt stands up and makes a show of gathering their untouched mugs, both of which have gone extremely cold. Hermann slips his glasses back on and opens up his desk drawer to shuffle through his immaculate spreadsheets again, pretending to look for errors that they both know aren't there.

“We’ve,” Hermann finally says, and then clears his throat. “We’ve survived worse. I'm sure we can manage. It’s only for two nights, after all.”

“Yeah, totally,” Newt says.

[cressthebest]

Crimsons Rivers thoughts pt. 36

chapter 55:

1. kingsley is mad at lily and i GET IT i understand. but all those people are adults and CHOSE to go on the mission. it is not solely her fault

2. NOOOO!! sybil is so dear to me!! and kingsley broke up with her!!! no!!!!

3. god, i feel so bad for euphemia and fleamont. yeah victors were saved. but their children, their two children, were the only ones not brought back home. i don’t know how i would recover

4. “there was Narcissa, who wasn't just in the hunger games; no, she played the game, and she played it well, so well that Euphemia never doubted she would win.” yo that’s fucking terrifying. i-

5. andy and narcissa reuniting has me crying so hard. their sisterhood is so important to me

6. regulus doesn’t have sirius, so all he wants is james to comfort him. i- i can’t do this

7. “It's like this, that he turns to her, and Euphemia knows immediately, just that simply, that Sirius isn't here.

He isn't, because if he was, that's who Regulus would cling to; that's the only person he ever wanted to cling to.”

okay, um, simply stabbing my heart would have been easier

8. “They all knew only one could make it out, and Sirius wasn't going to be the one who did, except more than one has, and Sirius is the only one who didn't.” 😧😧😧

9. god i love dorcas. she is not lying to anyone they saved by saying there will be comforts, but she is saying they will be safe and everyone there will be kind. i love her so much

10. dorcas caring for marlene first >>>>>>>>>

11. LILY AND REMUS REUNITED!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! THEYRE REUNITED!!!!

12. oh shit. wait. that was too soon. before the lily and remus reunion, he hears her say that the absolute love of his life is probably dead

13. remus’ breakdown has me in shock. like i’m not even in tears anymore, i’m just shocked. i- this hurts too bad to even cry

14. “Lily does not know much, she doesn't know what Sirius was to Remus, but she does know for sure now that he was something.

Maybe, as much as she dreads to think it, he was everything.”

😀😀😀 you can’t write lines like that. that feels illegal, to mess with my emotions like that

15. i want someone to care for me the way dorcas cares for marlene. she starts a war early to save her life. she’s willing to kill anyone to keep her alive. she will do anything.

16. “"Perhaps if you had considered the impact of the lives you planned to shape into martyrs, you would have realized that this could happen, and would be no one's fault but your own. You put those people in the arena this year, Albus, didn't you tell me that? All the ready opposition to Riddle, and you couldn't foresee this? Opposition to you?"”

get his ass alberforth. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

17. “In all his years, Aberforth has never seen a loyalty and love exist as the loyalty and love between those two boys do.”

this is so sweet if it weren’t for the context of the statement

18. 😀😀😀 wow i hate albus

19. “They are at their best together when they are showing their worst to one another and basking in the relief of being next to someone they know won't really care, or have an opinion on it, or judge them.”

regulus and remus’ friendship >>>>>>>

20. as reg is literally beating lily up he’s like “i love her! she’s amazing! she’s my savior!! 😊😊 that’s why i must try to kill her!!!

21. “It was supposed to be me and you, but Sirius is gone. Come back to me, baby, Regulus thinks, but James is gone.” 😀😀 what a fantastic start to my day

22. lily should have had a gun in canon. this au only further proves that to me. the war would be so short is lily evans was given a gun and told to just go off and do what she wanted with it.

23. zar gave marylily hints in the authors notes ??? 👀👀 marylily??? 👀👀 marylily endgame?? 👀👀🌸🍓🎉

24. authors notes: “lily lily lily my beloved <3 she really was about to blow albus' skull open, soooo sexy of her 🥰” AGREED

25. also there’s 420 comments on that chapter and i don’t want to fuck with that number.

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA for getting revenge against the person that ruined my life?

I (36M) am (still am, losing your job doesn't get rid of a persons PHD) a scientist that specializes in theoretical physics and studies of the multiverse. Until around a year and a half ago I had a job at a prestigious science facility, where I designed a device that would transport anything from other dimensions to ours (we had to set it off a little bit ahead of schedule, but overall, I'd say I did a good job with the timeframe I was given!).

This is where a person I'll call SM comes in.

One of the tests I ran on the device involved bringing a radioactive spider from another dimension to ours, but unfortunately, it escaped and bit him, which resulted in him gaining amazing powers, and becoming a superhero (he killed the spider right after it bit him, BTW.) (just thought I should bring that up.) (really stellar guy, takes important moments in his life REAL seriously.) (I don't think text is doing a good job conveying how sarcastic I am being right now, so to clarify: I AM BEING REALLY SARCASTIC.).

My first face-to-face meeting with SM was brief, but impactful. It happened when he and another important-but-not-so-relevant-to-the-story-guy broke in to my (ex) workplace a day before we were going to set off the device for real, all so that they could steal top secret information from us....And a bagel?! Which SM actually used as a projectile to HIT ME WITH (what kind of person DOES THAT? And with so much unnecessary force, too!)

Then, a day later, he blew up my invention WHILE I WAS STILL IN THE ROOM. I wasn't even one of the people fighting him, all I was trying to do was grab a canister of the dark energy my device was generating, but he didn't care at all that I was there!

Because of him blowing up that machine, I was turned in to...Something else. I don't have a face anymore, and my entire body is covered with these holes. Things fall through them all the time, and it leads to all sorts of embarrassing accidents that always cause people to laugh at me.

Not only that, but by doing this, he also made me lose my job, which was practically my entire life. I look so grotesque, my own family won't even LOOK AT ME, and I can't even get a new job to support myself because of the way my condition makes me look!

So that means by the time SM and I finally met again, I was so dangerously low on funds, I had to resort to a life of crime! I decided to jumpstart it by robbing an ATM machine because that's pretty harmless and easy, isn't it? I mean, it's a machine, nobody loses anything from me taking from one of those, besides for the bank, but who cares about them? They steal from people all the time! I'd hardly say it's a villainous act to take from them, except for the fact that robbery is illegal. Anyway, the shopkeeper assaulted me for trying to steal from the ATM machine.

Maybe I should have seen that one coming.

...Eh, whatever.

It only gets worse from here, because then, out of nowhere, SM shows up, makes fun of me, and then cuts me off while I tried explaining to him who I am and why I should matter to him, just so he could read a text. Which is just unbelievably rude, and tbqh, pretty unheroic!

He spent the rest of what was SUPPOSED to be our epic battle on his phone, texting some person. This fight was meant to be a huge deal for both of us, and he didn't take it seriously at all, he barely even bothered to look at me for a majority of it. At one point, he even webbed me up and left in the middle!

Our fight did eventually resume, and midbattle he told some police officer that I was just a "villain of the week", while I was RIGHT THERE!

Eventually, the fight brought as all the way back to the site of the accident, right where our connection first formed. This was finally a point where I had the chance to tell him everything, what I did for him, what he did to me! And even after all that, he still treated me like a JOKE!

I got really mad at that point, which came back to bite me pretty quickly. As in, I accidentally kicked myself in to one of my own holes (like I said before, I have a lot of holes, they go places, one hole took my foot to my own butt, and I fell in to another hole).

But on the bright side, this resulted in me finding out that I'm a transdimensional superbeing. Which gave me an epiphany! I finally know what I want to do now, and how I'm going to do it. There's a lot of science involved, multiversal travel, stuff like that. But the basic idea is that I'm getting payback. The way I see it, he took everything from me, so why shouldn't I get to take everything from him? It makes sense, right? Because of him, I have nothing, so why should he have anything? It's only fair!

So, as long as everything goes according to plan, by the time I'm done, he shouldn't have anything left, and then he'll finally learn to respect me.

....Wow, this came out way longer than I thought it would.

Here's a tl;dr!:

SM ruined my life, WIBTA if I ruined his in return?

[shmaptainwrites]

Hey!

I thought about something...

Reader as Michael Tritter's wife during the events of season3.

The reader has no idea of her husband’s actions. Until that day, she confronts him and he begins to threaten her with divorce if she doesn't mind her business.

She worries about Wilson and goes to meet him. She introduces herself as Tritter’s wife and apologizes for her husband behaviour. She asks him if he has a place to eat and sleep for the night and offers him (at least) a drink to apologize.

They continue to see each other and begin to appreciate the company of the other.

Tritter learns it and the reader must make a choice between her mariage and Wilson

-👀

anon i’m foaming at the mouth this idea is so good

ngl i think if tritter is threatening divorce right from the beginning the marriage is already pretty much over

maybe you hear about his vendetta against house from one of his colleagues who’s also a friend of yours and when you realize this poor other doctor is caught in the crossfire gives you whatever courage you needed to confront your husband about his actions and how ridiculous he’s acting

he gets mad and after some escalation he says if you can’t stand by him maybe you guys shouldn’t be together in the first place. disgusted by the implications that you can’t even have honest conversations about his actions, you pack a bag and leave to go stay with a friend until he hopefully comes to his senses, and meanwhile you try to right some of the wrongs he’s created by offering some help to wilson

you’re nervously waiting outside his hotel room, wondering if he’s even going to open the door and if he does whether or not he’ll hear what you have to say when you introduce yourself. eventually he does open the door, he doesn’t look too bad but he also doesn’t look great (you can imagine he’s going through a lot considering his accounts are frozen and he’s had to shut down his practice), but when you introduce yourself he’s about to say something about not wanting to speak to you (but still very politely of course, he doesn’t want to get himself into deeper shit than he’s already in), but you stop him before he can close the door and say you’re there to try an extend an olive branch

he waits a minute to hear you out while you say you’re very ashamed and embarrassed about what your husband is doing and that you wanted to see if there was anything you could do to help for the time being seeing as you didn’t have too much control over the situation

wilson ponders for a moment and when you offer a drink at the hotel bar to start he accepts. when you go down you explain a little further to him that you’re very uncomfortable with the whole situation your husband has created around this incident and that he’s acting like a bully (which he shouldn’t be because he has power over others and it’s just wrong to use it for a personal grudge and say it’s in the interest of the law even if house technically is doing some illegal stuff) and really you just don’t know what you should do

wilson empathizes with your marriage troubles, clearly having been in that situation before, and after a few drinks it becomes easy enough to lean on each other and talk through what’s going on

it gets pretty late and you reluctantly say you have to go back to your friend’s home so you don’t keep her up, but that you could come check in on him again tomorrow if he’d like, maybe take him out to grab something to eat and he nods his head and says he’s free with a hint of mirth in his voice considering your husband is the one pretty much forcing his days to be open

your lunches and dinners together become more frequent and you find yourself very much drawn to wilson, and he to you, so when your husband finds out of this (maybe it’s word of mouth or maybe he actually sees the two of you out together) he comes to your friend’s home and confronts you about it

he’s incredibly upset, but for some reason you could care less because if anything over the past few weeks he had shown you his loyalties didn’t lie with you, he didn’t even apologize for threatening divorce or how he had spoken to you and so when he gives you an ultimatum it’s not even a question, you don’t want to be with him anymore

after calling your lawyer and dealing with those details to get the papers served, your dinner with wilson becomes a bit tense as he asks you what you were up to that day and you try to find a way to break the news to him

he’d be a bit surprised that divorce is what it had come to and maybe even feels a little guilty thinking it’s his fault, but really, with the way tritter had treated you throughout this mess you had gotten an indication of a side you didn’t see before you got married and you were more than happy to get out of there before things escalated and you felt trapped

wilson is so gentle with you even with everything that he’s going through and you both cling onto that desperate need for the other and your emotional comfort slowly finds its way easing into something more than that and it’s not before long that you spend more nights at the hotel than your friend’s home and when all was said and done neither you or wilson felt you got the short end of the stick (because clearly, that all went to tritter)

send me your sfw RSL character x reader thoughts

→ accepting asks for james wilson, cruise, and peter müller

→ i’ve seen up to 5x12 of house — NO SPOILERS PLEASE

[occult-roommates]

Awkward reunion

After his mom called him to tell him she knows he dropped out of college, Dawud assumed for some reason Audrey had snitched on him, since they talked about it the night before. But no, actually, he accidentally caused his own downfall. Shortly after hanging up with Audrey, he mindlessly posted on Facebook a selfie of him with Daniele clearly in front of the San Myshuno art museum, thinking to himself he’s gonna private it so only Audrey can see it...He forgot to do that. Maybe he should just stop going to the art museum with Daniele, nothing good ever came of it.

Now, how did his mom figured out it means he has dropped out. Well, let’s not forget that after dropping out, he lived with Audrey for about a year, and around once a mom, her mom, Jacqueline, came to visit her. She promised to keep the secret and not tell Farida before he’s ready, but at that point it’s been more than 18 months, and Farida finally knew he’s no longer in Oasis Spring. And so, Jacqueline told her the truth about her son’s whereabouts.

Now, it had been way more than a month, it was in fact almost July. Dawud tried to avoid his mom, which was hard as May was both Ramadan and her birthday month. So, when he finally got his two weeks off work, he decided to finally see his mom again, trying to make up for what was at that point almost two years of acting like he was dead. The first day after coming back home was incredibly awkward though, very little talking, quite obvious Farida was still pissed at him.

The next one appeared to be better at first. Farida was gardening happily, while Dawud laid on a lounge chair in his bathing suit, unable to believe it was not even noon and it was already scalding hot outside.

Dawud: I could not be a woman, like how do you even handle being dressed like that when it’s over a 100 degrees outside? Farida: I wouldn’t have told you how to dress if you were a girl. I can’t even get you to wear a shirt.  Dawud: I mean, I think if I were a girl I’d have more of an incensitive to wear a shirt cause not doing it is uh...illegal. But I don’t think I’d be able to wear a bra. Like, I tried Audrey’s one as a joke once and it was so uncomfortable I felt like I was wearing a straitjacket. Farida: What?

Ah, he said too much again. Well, at least he didn’t also add he used to just not wear underwear growing up, up until that day in middle school when he got his dick stuck in his fly and he had to go see the school nurse to free it. She doesn’t need to know that. I’ts also marginally more acceptable when you have roommates to walk around in your underwear than cock out.

Farida: I don’t even understand why you are like that. I thought you’d outgrew that like the fact you used to constantly rock back and forth or shake your hands agressively, especially around Audrey, and you two would make incoherent noises. It was cute when you were toddlers, not so much when you were 12. Dawud: I didn’t outgrew it, I was bullied out of it. I told you, you just never believed me.  Farida: And you still walk on your tiptoes when I told you it is bad for your back in the long term, and you can barely speak Arabic in spite of all my attempts to teach you. Dawud: Ok I get it I’m a fucking failure! Farida: And don’t used such words in front of me!

Getting mad, Dawud went inside and locked himself in his bedroom, as if he was a teenager again. It sucks, it really does. He tried so hard to make his mom proud, and it seems like it’s never enough...To be fair, he did messed up badly by lying to still be in school for more than a year, but still.

And then, as he was starting to regret being stucked here for two weeks, ruining his vacation, he received a very special text message from a very special someone...

Prev - Next

[amnotaqueen]

Traveling With My Narc Husband

Y'all pray for me. Pray for us; my son is with us. My granddad died. We are traveling across several states to make it to the memorial service. We spend the night at hotel one night, and basically drive all day for two days.

My narc husband has a problem with, is offended by, gets angry at any and everything I do or say. When I was a kid, staying in a hotel was fun, and I enjoyed watching cartoons or kids shows while lounging in the room. I decided to get up and do some exercises. My son was up too, so I found something he'd like to watch while I exercised- Paw Patrol. My husband was asleep and silent until I put the TV on Paw Patrol. "Why is he watching that so early?" he angrily yelled. I said back, "Because it's holiday and he'll be stuck in a car all day.". I called it 'holiday' because that's what they call it from where he is from. I quickly tried to mitigate by telling our son that he could only watch one episode then we would change the channel. I'm always trying to find ways to allow our son to have fun and enjoy himself as a kid without unleashing the fury of his dad.

Minutes later, my narc husband erupted in anger at me again. This time I had garnered his ire because I had put pink oil moisturizer on our son's head and brushed his hair. He yelled, "I don't know why you put that on his head!" You would have thought I had poured acid onto our son's scalp, how angry he was. I know my husband. He is Nigerian and he favors a more minimalist approach when it comes to grooming. Un-moisturized, un-combed, rough, dry, and course-looking hair is just fine on our son according to him. I continue to oil his hair and combed and brush it because I like a more polished look. It infuriates my husband that I don't just adopt his way of doing all things. I told him so this morning. I told him, I'm not him and I think differently. I asked him why he was screaming at me over something so trivial. I said that there are bigger issues to be angry about, why that? He claimed that the moisturizer causes cancer. I told him he doesn't have to scream; he could instead share the research he has done to explain his insight and position, if any such research existed. I told him he gets mad over everything. If I give our son a snack he gets mad. If I turn on the TV he gets upset. If I want to walk with our son and hold his hand while walking he gets mad. If our son has a bleeding puncture on his leg and I put a napkin on it and apply pressure even though he tells me to stop and let it run he gets mad.

It's a problem driving with him. He doesn't drive like law abiding citizens who have sense. He likes to drive primarily in the left lane on the interstate. He habitually texts and drives. He drives slowly in the left lane while texting or looking up information on his phone causing people to pass him in the right lane. No matter how many times I tell him he should stay in the right lane and pass people on the left and then move back to the right lane he doesn't want to do it. We had argument over that today.

He was passing cars when there were two solid lines. There were hills as well. It was difficult to know what was on the other side of the hill while trying to pass a car over solid double lines. I had to tell him not to do that, that it was not safe. He didn't want to acknowledge the seriousness of it. I asked him if he wanted our son to drive unsafely and illegally like him. He said yes. He said he preferred that somebody else teach our son how to drive before he make adjustments in how he does things and drives. Shocking for sure. A shame.

I would rather find a hotel, check in, unload the car, maybe get cleaned up a little bit before going to Grandma's house. He would rather drive straight to Grandma's house, hang out there a while, then find a hotel late at night, have to unload car, eat dinner, have me bath our son and myself, etc. He thinks HIS way is the CORRECT way. How I would do it is WRONG. I told him that we have different opinions and no way is right or wrong, just different. He said NO. I am WRONG and things have to be done his way because he does not compromise.

Pray for us.

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE I FORGOT TO SEND IN MY FEEDBACK😭

I typically write out my thoughts on my notes app(have a folder just for your stories🤧) bc this is me trying to be organized lol . Anyways this time I did fully put down my thoughts I just forgot to send it through here like a dummy lol BUT I DID NOT FORGET ABT YOU BESTIE!!! So here are my thoughts lol

YOU TRULY KNOW HOW TO KEEP THE STORY GOING IN SUCH A GOOD WAY!!! You know I love anytime Niall shows up in your stories bc you truly write him so well, I NEED HIM!

when i tell you once I read that she unexpectedly feel down, I just knew that Ava was behind bc my heart DROPPED! And then she apologized, my heart felt so sad :( I mean I can't blame her because I do the same thing too and it's a hard habit to break! Then them talking about the eggs... PAIN PAIN PAIN ALL AROUND! But I like it, it keeps the story moving!

Also I am not mad at here for wanting to be friends with him at all! Like personally I would have just been stubborn and guarded but I know I would have folded soon lol BUT THATS WHY I AM NOT HER, SHES HER OWN SELF! And Niall is gone so I don't blame her and shes in love so yeah lol oh and that "munchkin" part 💔💔💔 so good!

NOW I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE WAS CHEATING EVER!! like I really felt that Ava was cheating or had cheated on him and like it was so satisfying to see that unfold, like it may sound fucked but it felt nice to know lol And maybe Im feeling just a tad bit petty but I kinda liked to see harry grovel a bit but only a tiny bit! bc it is very hard to get out of a toxic and manipulative relationship and it is something hard too do no matter shitty it was! He does has some healing to do and its a process but still happy for both to be out of it ya know.

And the end... SAM😭😭😭😭AHHHH so so so GOOD!!!!!

Side note I saw that some anon was just being straight up mean and that is not okay. It's one thing to give constructive criticism and that's fair but there is no need for just straight up saying they don't like. we all experienced something not being for us and that's okay but I would never just be mean to that author, ever. And I want you to know for every thing you post no matter what is such a gift! And I want you to never forget how loved and appreciated you are! love you so much!-💜

I'm OBSESSED A WHOLE FOLDER AHHHH 😭 I don't deserve you

I love Niall so much if I wasn't a Harry-girl I would be feral for Niall. Honestly, sometimes I still am. I see tiktoks of him and I'm like 🤤 Personally, I think he should be illegal. He's really fun to write and I wish I could tear myself away from Harry for two seconds to write a fic about Niall.

I'm glad you feel that way about her wanting to be friends. I really wanted to them to NOT be friends but I also would have folded very quickly. I also wanted to keep the plot going and I didn't want to be like *seven months later* because I think the whole Niall moving thing is still fresh so idk it made sense when I did it so I'm glad you're good with it! I love my munchkins 💕

When i started this story I didn't WANT you guys to like Ava but I wanted to keep an air of mystery but I think everyone assumed she was probs doing something worse (not that that makes Harry's thing okay) but again part of my process was ensuring that Ava would sound AWFUL when the time came to announce her secret.

Don't you worry about groveling and healing, I got you covered 🤣

You're so so nice 😭 I have a bit of a pleasing-complex so I feel so bad when I disappoint people. I shouldn't let it get to me but it's easier said than done.

Thank you for your message I love you and your brain so so much 💕

xoxo

[sabineelectricheart]

The Scourge of Madness

Summary: His voice was cold and detached. It sounded what she supposed that controlled madness would.

Rating: MA -  Content is only suitable for mature adults. May contain explicit language and adult themes.

Explicit depictions of rape. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Words: 3000

Notes: Hate me all you want, but I always thought that Dimitri’s return to reason was much too magical and easy. I like exploring this side of madness from his personality. Read at your own peril.

If Sothis is still alive independently of her, if she is so powerful and all-knowing like her religion insists that she is, this, right now, is the moment in which she should show up.

Byleth is the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros, she is the Enlightened One, she is the physical vessel through the Goddess walks this earth, but there is a mad King trailing her in a castle he knows like the back of his hand. He holds murderous intent, on which he has already followed through this evening.

She needs all the help she can get.

The accusation against her is clear. The Church of Seiros is accused of practicing illegal magic. The Crown discovered the grotesque experiments that Rhea used to perform in Garreg Mach, and while Byleth has forbidden their continuation, a team of academics have been reviewing the findings for something that might be of use.

Though, of course, the legal accusation does not mean much. The real motivations for the massacre afoot are much more sinister.

The woman takes a turn on the hallway. She could feel the vibrations of his every step on the stone floor as she continues to run away from him with all her might.

While she wore regalia for the evening, her dress was not too heavy, though it was tight enough to keep her from running properly. The floor is also much too clean, and she feared it would make her slip at any moment if she lost focus.

She needs to leave this castle right now. If she can reach Fódlan’s Throat, she is reasonably confident that Claude would give her refuge. Even if she just makes it to Leicester, she can still find someone willing to help her there.

Then, Byleth passes through a window and takes a quick look out into the courtyard outside. What is even the point? Walls keep what is outside out, but also keep what is inside in. She is in the innermost sanctum of Castle Blaiddyd, if she wanted to reach the Tailtean Plains alone, she would have to climb three sets of walls and sneak out of the city, carrying only her sword and without her Divine Pulse.

It is impossible.

The thought of the meaninglessness of it all both sobered her and placed a thousand pounds on her shoulders. Whatever she tried, she would not be able to get away, not as long as he commanded the soldiers all around her. As long as he was in power, she had no way out.

This whole exercise was just meant to tire her, to beat the resistance out of her, and in this regard, he has been successful.

The tiles on the floor glistened, she realized, flecks of gold shimmering within them, the cream-coloured walls were equally pretty. The city beneath was lit with fire light, reflected against the teal of the roof tiles. What a pretty view before death.

Well, Byleth believed she would die. Sitri and Jeralt. Rhea. Manuela and Hannemann. Alois, Catherine and Shamir. Most of her students. They are all dead, why would she be any different?

Would it hurt? She allowed herself to wonder, as she doubled a corner and heard him closing in. Would he make it public? Or would he fake her suicide?

Then, she stopped. Her feet slide a bit as her heartbeat pounded on her ears, the sight before her enough to drown whatever hope she were hanging by.

Golems, two of them, flanking the doors to the inner courtyard. Yet another proof of the corruption upon that court, but what there is to be done now? Maybe she could trick them and use their stature to jump over the gate? Perhaps she could find their weak spot and exploit it?

“Seize her!” The King commanded, so elegant that he did not even sound out of breath, despite his long chase.

His voice was cold and detached, just like it would be when he is passing judgement at the Throne Room. It sounded what she supposed that controlled madness would.

The Golems gave her a long look, almost as if they were trying to identify her as their target, before steeling their eyes and walking towards her in deadly slow steps.

Instinctively, Byleth began moving backwards, her eyes jumping from one to the other as they flanked her with weary steps almost as though trying to catch a scaredy doe. Her arms were slowly rising, palms extended, she did not quite know what for.

That short interval was enough for the guard company that tailed her finally catch up, flooding the entrance hall by the other end. The Archbishop saw herself surrounded on both sides, by the golems in one and the soldiers to the other.

Byleth rose her hand to fight, and to give herself an honourable death if that failed, but a well-spotted archer shoots her dominant hand in perfect precision, forcing her to drop her weapon.

The men had her in no time. She trashed against them, she kicked and she bit as she tried to get them off of her, but they had a good grip, barely lifting her off her feet to make she would lose balance.

They turned their former religious leader around and faced their liege, but she kept trying to get away, growling like a savage.

Dimitri had a cold glint in his eye, as if his heart was made of pure ice. If it was not shameful of her to do so in this situation, the woman is sure she would weep for what has been lost, for another student that she lost, even if he stands before her.

“Her Grace is a convicted agent of our enemies. She is commanded by believers of the Flame Emperor.” The monarch accuses.

His voice caught she by surprise, she was honestly surprised at the severity and confidence of his voice, the hold of the guards tightened a notch

“Take her to my study so that I might…” His eyes trailed on her face as he licked his lips, almost as if he was savouring his own words. “Extract the information that I require.”

“Liar! Please! He lies!” Her tears were beginning to roam freely down her face, in a desperate fashion that she has never experienced before. “I fought with you! I fought for you! Believe me!”

Dimitri managed a severe look of disappointment. “We owe nothing to a filthy necromancer who seeks to bring Edelgard back after her reign of terror.”

It was then when the woman realized that he was not focused on her and her summary verdict. No, he had his attention on putting a show to convince the guards.

He was successful, in spite of any personal beliefs they might hold about her or about the great institution of the Church of Seiros. They began dragging her along, as she kept struggling and looking for any sign of them doubting his fabricated narrative. There was none.

Another pair of guards opened the doors to his study as they brought her in, Dimitri entering the room following closely behind.

“Leave us. Do not let anyone enter this room under any circumstance.” He commanded.

The guards looked back and forth between the two of them, concerned that the supposed necromancer had some concealed weapon. If it was not the discipline that the monarch instilled in them since the end of the war, they would have certainly objected to it.

This whole exchange made her feel even worse. It broke her heart to see how they looked at her as though she were the menace in the room.

“I will be fine. I shall contain her if need be.” He added, a filthy sense of sincerity coating his words.

Of course, he would be perfectly fine. The only one in real danger here was her.

Byleth ran to for the door as soon as the guards let go of her arms, but they closed it in straight on her face. The blonde chuckled behind her, making her turn around to glare at him.

“By all means, keep trying. I would enjoy to see the mess you can make of your face.” He was entertained, comfortably leaning against his desk. “What has Jeralt said before he died? That he was happy to see you cry? I can empathize with the feeling.”

“All this because I rejected your offer of marriage?” She asks coldly. “Is that all it takes to destroy your sanity? Is this all it takes for you to commit the gravest of sins against creation?”

His eyes darkened with anger and she wondered briefly if she should have held her tongue, before concluding that she is already dead. In true fashion, he stalked towards her, but his legs were long enough so that it took him no time to corner her.

“What? Are you going to try to kiss me again? We both saw how it ended up last time.” Her voice came high pitched and trembling as her face went red and her eyes watered.

Not really imposing, but Byleth could not stop her mouth.

Dimitri held up a dagger and stabbed her against her right tight. She screamed in pain.

“It slipped.” He said, as if apologizing. “I would heal your wounds, but when one commits the gravest sin against creation, as you so well put it, one tends to lose the capacity to practice or to receive Faith magic. A small price to pay, I would say.”

Dimitri broke his covenant with Sothis when he aligned himself with Agartha. She knew that, and she knew of the consequences. He knows they were to blame for the misery he went through as a child, he knows how much he struggled to be rid of their influence, but he followed through with it anyways. It is the only way to have what he wants, and he is willing to make any sacrifice towards it.

Just like Edelgard before him.

He took her up in his arms, now that her legs cannot sustain the weight of her body any longer, and dropped her gracelessly to a chair. As she kept trying to get away, she wondered if she looked like an animal while moving like that.

The King threw her a piece of cord he removed from his book stash

“Tie your hands to the chair.” He commanded.

She glared at him. “Why would I?”

He grabbed a hold of his sword.

“Do it or I will cut them off.” He said, threatening, in spite of her incredulous expression. “Doubt me if you want, but I should remind you that I was already using this before I turned fifteen, and my Crest favours me. How much strength do you think it would take?”

It scared Byleth how entertained he was by the thought of maiming her permanently. Faced with little choice on the matter, she made a knot with two of her fingers and her mouth.

“There, are you happy now?” She sneered.

For all her years in the military, Byleth had never wanted to kill someone as much as she did right that second. He got to her side in no time and tugged on the rope, observing that it was loose.

He clicked his tongue derisively and tightened it himself. “You are not being very cooperative, Beloved.”

The anger burnt her throat. Not cooperative? He expects that she would cooperate? After he killed two people she considered family right in front of her, not to mention the massacre he is certainly promoting right at this moment across Fódlan, the King expects her to be cooperative.

It would be laughable, if not for the tragedy of it all.

Byleth felt his warm fingers on her chin, lifting it up so her green eyes would meet his light blues. How much strength would it take to bite his fingers off?

He pressed his mouth against her right ear, never loosening the strong grip on her chin. “Are you still fighting? You cannot win alone, Beloved. You should have realized that by now.”

The blond separated from her, as though her very skin burned him, and began walking around her, almost as if taking in the view. Then, four or five turns later, he got close. Too close for her comfort, with his chest pressed against her back, his left arm hugging her shoulders as his right one held her face looking to the front.

“So beautiful, so strong, so powerful.” He whispered, this time heaving against her neck “Now you are all mine, Beloved. No more Church for me to share, and no more Goddess to hide you away.”

He savoured the taste of that filthy word every time he said that moniker. She could feel his heartbeat picking up, could feel the bulge against her back growing, could feel him almost panting, and it made she so nauseous she hoped she would puke all over him.

In a moment of recklessness, Byleth tried with all her strength to push him off of her, but she made a mistake, a deadly mistake. She brushed against him.

He grunted, it obviously taking him by surprise. In a stray ray of hope, she pleaded and begged that he would be repulsed by that, that he would let go, maybe poke fun at her or feel so repulsed he might straight up kill her at once.

Her hopes were dashed when he did it again, this time on purpose, grinding against her backside as she tried to squirm away, and again, and again.

She sobbed as he moaned.

“Do not do this, Dimitri.” Her voice was broken with fear and disgust. “Please, this is not right, and this is not love. Let me go before you do something that cannot be taken back!”

He only gripped her tighter.

“No, it is not love.” He said, lost in his own mind. “You have bewitched me, Beloved, and you have brought me to my doom. It cannot be anything else. You placed a curse upon me, and now I am following through your command, and I shall enjoy it.”

Byleth gaped. She already had her suspicions on him being mad, on his miraculous cure being too much of wishful thinking of their part, but maybe he was already completely lunatic. Maybe her first mistake had been not simply ending the Blaiddyd line when she had the chance, maybe it had been naïve of her to allow Claude to leave Fódlan and concentrate too much power in the hands of just one man.

He let go of her shoulders and gripped her hips, now grinding her against his girth, following the rhythm he had already stablished.

“Besides…” He added in a laboured breath, as he loses himself in the throes of his passion. “Why would I ever let you go?”

“The nobles will know. There are those loyal to the Church, and they will resist your rule.” She argued, knowing full well how wrong she is.

Dimitri, however, was much too glad to have her know how little he thought of her argument, as he laughed and began to slide his hand on her inner thigh over her dress.

“I am the High King of Fódlan.” He said as though it explained everything.

The woman guessed it did; As long as he was High King, no one would dare cross him, not even with doubts about the whereabouts of the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros.

“You will not be High King forever.” She said, forceful.

It was a daring response, really, but here, with his hands grasping all over her legs, every time higher and higher up, she could not care less. There is no conceivable way in which her situation could worsen, and her curses were the only resistance she is still afforded.

“What is that supposed to mean?” The monarch asks, his tone was amused, almost challenging, not really caring for an explanation.

His calloused hand began to massage her core from under her skirts. The excitation, regardless of the horrible source, made her let out a strangled moan, which she shut it down as quickly as it appeared. He pressed tighter and she forced herself to detach from her body.

“You will rot.” Was her first response. “You will age and you will rot. High King or not, you will die, and your scourge of madness will die with you. Enjoy the fruits of your sin while you can, Your Majesty, because there will be future kings, better kings, and the people will spit in your legacy!”

Her voice was low and her eyes already gone blank, open but not really seeing anything as she sought comfort and shielding in her own mind.

Those became the last words that she would ever speak. Her body lived, and shall live for many, many years, but it was completely empty of a soul, of feeling and of expression.

As Byleth fell deeper and deeper into the blue light that beckoned her away from material reality, she failed to listen to his response as he pulls her tighter into him.

Dimitri feverishly denied her curse, with frantic eyes and whispers of creating a legacy of his own. Before he left this room, however, there shall be known his crime, and it shall be known his motivations, and the golden halo that surrounded his head would grow dimmer and dimmer.

In time, her words would be made true. The King will never understand what he did, and he will never understand how his existence became a speck of dust, the flame on a candle in a windstorm. As his eyes roll into his head, he is beyond salvation.

There is something of powerful and mystic about the women of the Church of Seiros. Beauty beyond compare, intelligence and power unmatched throughout the land, but there is a reason why man can only contemplate but never touch.

*_*_*_*_*

Fire Emblem Masterlist

Three Houses Masterlist

[heavyhitterheaux]

Death Nut Challenge: Truth or Dare Edition

AN: white boy with a lil habanero lmaooo

Synopsis: You and your boyfriend play truth or dare with a little twist

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by my cutie pie @wittyjasontodd 😘

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

"Baby, come on! It'll be fun!"

"Babe, there is a picture of a skull on fire on the outside of the package. Your definition of fun and mine are apparently completely different. Can we just have sex instead?"

"Will you stop being a big baby? And later."

"But I'm your big baby."

"Jackkkk."

"Okay, fine. But you better have 911 on speed dial."

"You are so dramatic. But I forgot you Anglo-Saxon and shit and think pepper is spicy."

"If you put too much it is!"

"Shut your peanut butter chicken making ass up!"

"See now you being rude. That's an Anglo-Saxon delicacy."

"You love me anyway and you're lying. Now let’s start."

"So how does this work?"

"Okay so there are five different levels of hotness. Either you answer my question or you have to eat one."

"Seems easy enough."

You had bought two packages, one for you and one for Jack.

You simply slid them out of the package and Jack immediately made a face.

"They even smell hot."

"Where's Urban? I'm going to need him to film this."

Urban agreed to filming the two of you without a second thought knowing that his best friend couldn't handle anything spicy.

"Okay, Urb. Are we ready?"

He simply nodded as you started the video.

"Welcome to the death nut challenge featuring me Y/N and my Anglo-Saxon boyfriend...."

"Hey!"

"Yall know him as Jack Harlow though. And he cannot handle spicy food."

"I need a bottle of ranch right now."

You immediately rolled your eyes.

Him and his ranch obsession.

"Why are you so dramatic. It won't be that bad."

"Speak for yourself! I barely survived going on Hot Ones!"

"But you made it though. Maybe I should have asked Urban to do this."

"No! Come on, I'm ready."

You rolled your eyes and looked at the questions that people had sent into your YouTube channel.

"First question is for my big baby."

It was now Jack's turn to roll his eyes at you but then waited for you to continue.

"What’s the first thing you would do if you woke up one day as the opposite sex?"

"That's easy. Make sure the homies get some."

You rolled your eyes as you heard Urban laugh before passing the list of questions to Jack to read you the next one.

"Urb! Don't encourage him!"

"Okay miss mamas, what is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?" Jack asked with a smirk because he knew what the answer was.

"Whaaa.... I gave you an easy one!"

"Answer the question mamas or eat one. I know the good girl persona is a front."

"Go ahead and answer, Y/N, now you got me curious." Urban replied from behind the camera. 

"Curiosity killed the cat!"

"And satisfaction brought it back, baby."

"Hand me the damn package. Can't stand your ass. Are you trying to get me arrested?"

"Nahh your 'this will be fun' head ass is mad now."

You forgot how competitive your boyfriend would get and how he never hesitated to play dirty.

"Jackman all imma say is don't go to sleep tonight."

"So now you're threatening me?"

"Maggie and Brian come get your child."

"Stop stalling mamas."

"Okay, okay."

You removed the first one and simply popped it in your mouth and began to chew while Jack was looking at you with wide eyes.

"You just ate that like it was nothing."

"I mean it was spicy but not unbearable."

"Hmm.... I'm about to win this shit because I don't plan on eating any."

You were losing.

You now had only 1 left in the package and wanted to kill your boyfriend.

Your eyes were red, but you were taking it like a champ and wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you distraught.

"Baby girl, you're looking a little red over there."

"Jack I will murder you if you don't shut up."

"Are those tears in your eyes I see?"

"You can barely see on a good day anyway, so the fact that you can see that is surprising."

Urban almost choked on the water he was drinking before busting out laughing.

"Nuh uh mamas. That wasn't nice! How you gonna do your man like that?"

"I be telling yo ass to wear yo glasses, but you don't listen. Bumping into things and shit."

"I'm not even that bad!"

"Says who?"

"Me! But I can damn sure find that pussy though."

"JACKMAN!"

"What?"

"Next question is for you. If I gave you a free pass to hook up with one celebrity, who would it be and why?"

Jack's eyes suddenly went wide as he looked over at you.

"I'm waiting big baby."

"Nah, absolutely not. You about to hang it over my head if I answer this."

"Just say it. I won't get mad." You responded while smiling and pinching his side at the same time.

"Ouch! Did you just pinch me?"

"No, first you can't see and now you're delusional."

"Look I value my life so hand me the package."

Once the package was in his hand, he picked up the first one and stared at it.

"Stop stalling."

"I'm coming, don't rush me."

"Stop making excuses."

Jack first licked it before putting the entire thing into his mouth.

Only 30 seconds had passed before you thought your boyfriend would pass out.

"Oh my sweet baby Jesus. This shit is HOT!"

"It literally hasn't even been a minute yet. And why are so red all of a sudden? I guess that’s the Anglo-Saxon in you. White boy with a little habanero my ass."

"Babe, shut up! I need water."

"Urb, can you get his dramatic ass some almond milk?"

Urban came over and handed Jack the almond milk and Urban wanted to do nothing but laugh.

“Damn, she wasn’t lying. You are red as hell.”

“Both of yall get on my damn nerves.”

Jack drank half of the glass before looking at you with tears in his eyes.

“I’m not playing this game anymore. My ass is done.”

“Clearly, because that was only the first one and it wasn’t even that hot!”

“Just for that, I should put my mouth on your other set of lips. I bet you would change your mind then.”

“You not about to come anywhere near me until that shit wears off. You not about to have my shit tingling.”

“Are you really about to post this?”

“Yes, Jackman. We discussed that in the beginning. And it’s your turn to ask me a question.”

“Fine. Can we have sex now?”

“JACK!”

When Jack had finally got himself together, you went to sit on his lap and simply kissed his cheek. He gave you a glare and rolled his eyes.

"I am never doing that with you again."

"My big baby is so dramatic. But now that we aren't in front of the camera, who would you sleep with?"

"Y/N...."

"Well?"

"I'd rather eat 20 more than answer that. You about to put me on punishment if I tell you."

"Well, mine is Drake." You replied while shrugging and attempting to get up at the same time, but you were pulled back down as Jack looked at you in disbelief.

"WAIT, WHAT!?"

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[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Am I Cool Yet? (3)

In which Jungkook thinks your eyes are kind of really fucking cool and cute.

Tags/Warnings: Kangaroo Hybrid!Jungkook, Sheep hybrid!Reader, part of my unconventional hybrid series I'm starting, University AU, mc has a stutter when shes nervous, mentions of mild bullying (nothing physical), mc owns an illegal amount of squishmallows, sports fanatic kook but what's new, strangers to lovers, romance and fluff!

Additional Chapter Warnings: they're both idiots, but we love them, misunderstanding, like big time

Chapter length: mid/long

<- Previous | Next ->

Over the course of time, you became really good at hiding.

As a sheep hybrid you're naturally nervous whenever you're on your own and without a 'herd'. It was basically just a fancy word for friends and family, to be honest, but at the end of the day the fact still stands. And due to Jungkook clearly regretting what happened, you had decided to just take the burden of the awkward conversations off of him, and avoid the kangaroo boy altogether.

Not knowing that he's just confused as hell now.

He knows he shouldn't have rushed so hard- he probably made it all awkward and you uncomfortable, and he lets his head fall onto the table at lunch when he notices the way you walk into the cafeteria- just to spot him and make a run for it again.

He really fucked up.

He'd completely ruined his chances with you for good reason, and that pisses him off even further. Because he did what he always thought he'd never do- who the fuck kisses their crush the first fucking time they're over for a visit? Exactly, only guys who think solely with their dicks, and jungkook had been convinced he wasn't one of them.

But it seems like he is.

He tries to catch you after classes, but it seems like you're already long gone by the time he gets his bike. He feels defeated going home, his feet unable to quite push into the pedals the way he'd usually do- no strength left in his bones, even when it starts to rain. He searches for shelter when it starts pouring heavily, underneath the small storefront of a 24/7 shop, when he notices who's standing there, shivering right next to him in clothes soaked to the bones.

It's you.

He's frozen in place as he watches the water droplets collect at the tips of your hair before they fall down, the material of your pastel colored shirt underneath your soft jacket damp and clinging to your skin- a sight that fuels thoughts he doesn't want to have right now. He should say something, now could be the only chance, but he's scared that real life won't work like all the cheesy anime shows he's been binge watching for years at this point. Maybe he should just shut up and wait for you to-

But oh, then you look up at him with your precious eyes, and he's a slave dropped right at your feet.

"I-" He starts, before he clears his throat, hands gripping the handles of his bike. "I uh.. I'm sorry. For what happened." He says out loud to you, and you've got the audacity to just lean your head to the side a little in confusion, the white sheep ears flicking a little to get the water off of them, and he wants to punch a wall because why are you so cute?

"Why're you apologizing?" You ask, and he looks at you a bit confused as well now.

"Cause- you avoided me today and I think it's because of the kiss? Because I rushed shit and made you uncomfortable, and I just wanted to make sure you know that that's not.. like, that's not what I planned to do, I swear I'm not like that-" he rambles nervously, until your hand pulls on the material of his sweater sleeve to cut him off.

"I'm not mad." You giggle, and now he's absolutely confused.

"But- why did you run from me today?" He asks, making you shrug.

"I- people think I'm weird, so I didn't want them to think you're weird too for hanging out with me.." you say, pouting and looking down a little, making him hop down from his bike, the metal of its frame hitting the concrete but he doesn't care- and neither does he about the way your wet clothes cling to one another when he hugs you.

"I don't care about others." He mumbles into your hair, while your arms wrap around his body as well, making him smile. "I thought you hated me." He sighs out, making you shake your head.

"No no, never!" You argue back, and he chuckles when he spots your tail wiggle as he watches from above. "In fact.. I-I actually l..liked the k-kiss.." you stutter, and his eyes widen as he continues to hold you like this for a bit longer.

"I- you did?" He asks himself, and when you nod, he's glad you can't see the way he blushes.

"Hmhm.." you answer shyly. "I.. like you." You confess, and he has to summon all self-restraint to not run out and yell into the rain because fuck-

You liked his kiss.

You like him.

[sandbees]

A few about the Great Seven interacting with Twisted Wonderland characters VIA Yuu. 👀 I only have one word summary; Chaos.

Who would meet the Great Seven first? Obviously the first years (along with Ortho and Grim). They’re Yuu’s best friends after all.

Actually, it was Friday, the last day of the week. And coincidentally, that night would be a special night at the House of Mouse. Ariel and her sisters would be performing that night.

Mickey told Yuu that that they could invite anyone to watch the performance. So Yuu went to get special permission to take their friends along with them.

After kidnapping Ortho After Yuu gathers everyone, they explain that they’re going out to see a special performance at their workplace.

Keep in mind that no one knows exactly what Yuu’s new job was except Grim and Crowley. So naturally everyone was in on it and curious. (Only Grim knows about Yuu meeting the Great Seven though)

Ace: So where do you work at?

Yuu: I work at a club.

Epel: ...As in a strip club or a book club?

Yuu: Wtf Epel? It’s like a club but no alcohol. It’s technically a restaurant but they have live shows and put on a lot of performances so-

Deuce: Oh! That’s cool, we get to see it together!

Yuu: Actually I’m not going to be with you guys. I’m on duty that day so I’ll be waiting tables. But I’ll join during break.

Ace: Really? Bummer.

Ortho: Aw, I wanted to hang out with you too! But it will be fun nonetheless. :D

Yuu tells them to wait downstairs as they go upstairs to get everything ready.

They are low-key nervous, because the House of Mouse isn’t...exactly normal by Twisted Wonderland standards.

Meanwhile, Grim was telling the first years about Yuu’s experiences there.

Grim: You know, the House of Mouse is really popular, I’ve heard about a lot of customers Yuu has met.

Deuce: This job must have been hard...I’m glad Yuu got it though!

Grim: Yeah, they pay them 5,000 madol! Isn’t that great?!

Sebek: 5,000 madol?! That’s a lot more than being a waiter.

Ace: In a week? I mean having a salary of 5,000 is pretty impressive.

Grim: Hehe, it’s actually 5,000 a day.

First Years: WHAT?!

Jack: To be able to pay that much...the owner must be wealthy.

Epel: Yuu lucked out!

When Yuu comes down, the first years are asking a billion questions.

How did you find a job with such a high pay??? Is the work good?? Is your boss nice to you?? Explain everything-

Yuu assured them that their job is just waiting a bunch of tables, and that they’re payed well because the place is very popular.

Anyways, Yuu tells them that they’re going now and leads them upstairs.

“Shouldn’t we be going to the hall of mirrors-?” “It won’t work.”

The group kind of loses their mind as Yuu casually pushes Ace into their mirror, Grim follows behind.

“Come on, or do I have to push you through the mirror like I did with Ace?”

Safe to say is that they go through the mirror and are greeted with a very lavish dressing room.

“Wait woah this isn’t Mickey’s dressing room.”

Yuu finds a note and read it out loud. Apparently Mickey moved the mirror to a new room so they could have privacy. Anything in the room is for their use.

“I’m going to cry. He’s so nICE I DON’T DESERVE THIS-“

Yuu is pretty happy with this arrangement, actually. They also begin to explain the club’s shtick to their friends.

“So this is basically a club for entertainment with live shows and also cartoons on the screen. Oh, and sometimes a cat named Pete tries to sabotage the show so he can kick everyone out and make this his club.” “Isn’t that illegal-“ “Not if there’s no police.”

So anyways Yuu leads them outside and they run into Goofy.

Sebek: Is that-?

Yuu: Hi Goofy, I’m bringing my friends to a table for the show-

Goofy: Yuu! There you are! You’re needed at table 14.

Yuu: What? But my shift hasn’t started-

Goofy: Reservations from Hades himself.

Yuu: Oh shit, ok yeah I’ll be there as soon as possible-

Ortho: Hades? As in the God of the Underworld?

Yuu: Yes, I’ll explain later, more importantly let’s go find you a table.

Ace: I think not telling us you actually met one of the GREAT SEVEN!

Yuu: I did tell you; and you didn’t believe me.

Everyone is vibrating in nervousness and excitement. Especially Ortho. I mean, this is the GREAT SEVEN we’re talking about!

Yuu decides to introduce them to Hades. But surprise surprise, it’s all of the Great Seven!

Yuu’s first year friends are going to pass out from shock. Oof.

With some inquiry, Yuu explains to the Great Seven that the friends they brought were from Twisted Wonderland.

Let’s just say that the First Years got invited to sit at their table. (Sebek is quaking at the idea of sitting with the Witch of Thorns)

So while Yuu leaves to start work (not after taking all of their orders first, of course), the Great Seven begin asking the first years + Grim questions.

The first years are expectantly tense, but they loosen up.

Ursula and Jafar are a little disappointed that no one from their dorm is present, but they seem to easily forget that after Yuu tells them that they know people from their respective dorms anyways.

Yuu also gives them a little more information they found about their respective dorms, so that they don’t feel...left out? (Satisfied is a better word for it)

Ursula pets Grim and Jafar feeds him crackers. Grim does not complain, he’s fine. He becomes more compliant as his tuna arrives.

And some of the other’s thoughts? Well...

The Queen of Hearts almost blew up in anger at Ace and Deuce. They are idiots that do nOT KNOW THE PROPER WAY TO SPEAK TO THEIR SUPERIORS AND THEY HAVE BROKEN AT LEAST 359 RULES ALREADY-

But somehow, the Queen of Hearts warms up to the idiotic duo. She sees them as...annoying children she has to babysit but they’re also really adorable that she can’t stay mad at them forever. Plus, Deuce is trying and Ace has these wonderful card tricks that would make her Jester cry.

So at first, she does not approve, but as the night progresses she does. 8/10 would meet the ADeuce combo again.

Scar and Jack...hm. Well, I don’t think they’d get along of Scar’s sense of morality and justice of the past was brought up. However, the villains all agreed to not bring up their villainous past because they didn’t want to scare away Yuu/make them wary and distrustful of them. Same goes for the first years.

Anyways, Scar is impressed at how buff Jack is. He isn’t surprised though - he expected residents of his dorm to be powerful. Scar lays down some well deserved praise and Jack eats it up with a tail wag. Jack also talks about his dorm and what the dorm represents. Scar’s ego rises 100x and Scar becomes somewhat...egotistical. Well, maybe not like in a “I’m shoving my ego in your face” type of ego but in a “This pleases me and I will treat you kinder” ego.

Basically, Scar opens up a little more to Jack as the night progresses. Like a mentor/student bond.

The Evil Queen and Epel...well, the Evil Queen was quite picky with how Epel was acting. Yes, he had the proper posture but really, he was using the wrong forks to eat that particular kind of food. She expected better from someone who came from her dorm. So she ended up chastising him and scolding him for being “improper”. Like Vil.

She was shocked to say when Epel accidentally snapped back at her, before returning to his more “princely” persona. Ah, so the child had more than meets the eye. She tried a different approach, as in trying to ease Epel into talking to her. Certainly, Epel was much more headstrong and willful than that naive Snow White.

So, the Evil Queen and Epel have a rocky start, but by the end of the show.

Hades and Ortho...well, that’s a combo you never see everyday. But I think Hades would basically adopt Ortho. As in suddenly he gets father vibes from the kid. He’s also particularly interested in his own dorm, and asks Ortho about it. Ortho’s pretty chatty with Hades, and is happy to tell Hades about his dorm! He also asks a few questions himself; which Hades happily obliged to.

...and then it turns into Ortho talking about Idia and how wonderful he is. And Hades is like, “damn, this kid has a wonderful big brother. How come my younger siblings act like shit to me-“

So Hades silently swore to the River of Styx to keep this child safe, and Ortho had a fun time interacting with Hades!

Sebek and Maleficent...well, it could have been worse.

Poor Sebek was tense and tight lipped for most of the night. He really wanted to make a good impression on Malleus’ grandmother. (I don’t think Sebek has met Maleficent yet so-)

Maleficent was patient, however. She knew Fae kind were raised to think of Maleficent as a high authority figure that should be treated with upmost respect. Unlike the other kingdoms; the Valley of Thorns praised Maleficent like a goddess. She didn’t blame Sebek for acting like he was.

So she started with baby steps. Talking about how wonderful it was to meet her grandson’s bodyguard, how Malleus must have grown to be a strong magician, how she wished she had stayed to know more about her grandson.

Actually, the breaking point between the tense atmosphere between the two was Malleus. Sebek opens up a little more as he continues to talk to Maleficent.

At the end of the night, they’ve only talked about Malleus, but Maleficent was content with that. After all, keeping up with what her grandson was doing was more than enough.

By the end of the night, the First Years enjoyed the special performance and their time with the Great Seven. Things went well especially when Yuu came to join during their break.

So when it was time to go, everyone had happily said their goodbyes as they were ready to return.

“Oh, before I forget...Yuu, I have almost completed the portals for the others so do expect one of us to pop in soon.” “Oh, ok!” “...THEY MIGHT VISIT US?!”

Everyone is low key excited to meet again though.

So, the first years go through the mirror and stay at Ramshackle, chatting away at their time at the House of Mouse.

_=_

Yeah, this was a looonngg write, I’m actually going to do the rest of the TW cast in another post. I hope you enjoyed this one! :)

[engie-ivy]

Remus is the uptight, swotty Prefect who's always getting the popular and beloved troublemakers Black and Potter in detention. Remus doesn't care what people say of him, and he absolutely doesn't care about Black's blinding smile.

A Book By Its Cover

Remus pulls his jumper closer around himself against the draught in the large, empty halls. The corridor is dimly lit and he hears nothing but the sound of his own footsteps. Everything is quiet. Too quite.

A loud clang suddenly sounds from behind one of the tapestries. Remus almost smiles to himself. Bingo. In a swift motion, he pulls away the tapestry.

Startled, Black whirls around. He’s surrounded by what appear to be paint cans and rope. His shock only last a moment, though.

“Lupin!” He exclaims, a beaming smile appearing on his face. “What a pleasant surprise!”

Remus crosses his arms over his chest. He makes an effort to keep a firm expression on his face, to show he’s not affected by Black’s notorious, blinding smile, like everyone else is. “Only pleasant if you like detention. And as for a surprise, I am a Prefect. I am supposed to be here making my rounds. So what are you doing here?”

“Preparing a prank,” Black says simply.

Remus doesn’t know whether he should be insulted Black doesn’t seem to take his authority very seriously, or glad that he doesn’t insult his intelligence by coming up with an excuse.

“Right,” Remus says, before taking out his notebook and pen. “Out of bed after curfew and engaging in illegal activity,” he scribbles down. “And where’s Potter?”

“Aw, am I not enough for you, Lupin?” Black pouts.

“I figured you could use some company in detention,” Remus replies smoothly.

Black clicks his tongue. “So thoughtful.”

“If you’re here setting up some prank, then it’s a given Potter is setting up that prank somewhere else in the school as well. So, where is he?”

Black shakes his head. “For you’re own good, Lupin, you don’t wanna put James in detention right now. People won’t be too pleased with you if the school’s football star misses the upcoming match against Slytherin thanks to you.”

“So thoughtful,” Remus repeats Black’s words, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But please, don’t concern yourself over me. I’ve never cared what others think of me, and I don’t plan on starting now. And you basically just admitted Potter is currently doing something that would warrant me giving him detention, so you might as well tell me where he is.”

Black sighs. “This is why people call you uptight.”

Remus’ expression hardens. “If people care so much, they should be mad at Potter for risking the football match in the first place by playing some stupid prank.”

Black gasps dramatically and clutches his chest. “Stupid? Our pranks are not stupid! They’re works of art! Jumping out of a cake on miss McGonagall’s birthday? Hilarious! Making a zip line to go from one floor to the other? Brilliant! Filling the gym with stray cats, many of whom were eventually adopted? Genius! People love our pranks. They make people laugh and bring some excitement in their lives. Much needed excitement, because let’s face it, school is boring. Sitting there, listening to old people tell you things you already know.”

“For you maybe,” Remus mutters.

Black scoffs. “Don’t pretend you’re not one of the smartest people in our class, Lupin.”

Remus just glares harder at Black, to show that no, he doesn’t care that Sirius Black, whom people are always falling over themselves for to get even a bit of his attention, has apparently noticed Remus’ academic achievements. No, he doesn’t care at all.

“Even the teachers love our pranks,” Black continues. “They put some life into this place!”

“We’ll see what miss McGonagall has to say about it when I report you tomorrow,” Remus says calmly. “I’ll go finish my rounds, and when I get back, you better have cleaned up this mess.”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

“Wha...” Remus turns back, and his traitorous stomach flutters at how close Black is suddenly standing.

“Join us for one prank,” Black says.

Remus blinks at him. “Why in earth would I do that?”

“Because it’s fun! And honestly, Lupin, to me you always look like you can use a bit of fun.”

That catches Remus off guard. It’s true. Between struggling to get top marks, doing everything he can for extra credit, making sure he has a spotless record, excelling at his Prefect duties, and worrying about his sick mother, lately he often feels like just throwing his hands in the air and say ‘screw it all!’, and just do something crazy, something dumb or irresponsible. But he definitely never wanted for Black to notice that.

“Come on, Lupin,” Black says, as Remus stays silent. “Be part of the fun for once, instead of putting a damper on it.”

“Your childish pranks aren’t my idea of fun,” Remus bites back, feeling himself getting defensive.

Black just grins. “You won’t know that unless you join us for just one prank!”

“Why would you even want me to join you?” Many people would be lining up to be a part of one of Black and Potter’s infamous pranks. It’s beyond Remus why Black would ask that one stuffy guy who puts them in detention almost every week.

“Because I like you,” Black shrugs. “I like how hard you work for everything and how you don’t care what anyone thinks of you. And I think you secretly have a talent for it,” he adds with a wink, that absolutely does not make Remus’ knees go weak. “I bet you have a wicked side to you underneath all that swotty stuff.”

“But I’m a Prefect!” Remus argues. “I’m supposed to discipline rule-breakers, not break them myself!”

Black rolls his eyes. “You shouldn’t take that job so serious.”

This rubs Remus the wrong way. “Not everyone can afford to treat everything in life as a joke,” he says coolly.

Black folds his arms over his chest and stares. “A fancy title and a badge and suddenly you’re better than us?”

“It’s nothing like that!”

Black huffs. “Then why is that bogus job so important to you?”

“Because some of us can’t afford to have even one note on their record if they ever want to get anywhere in life!” Remus snaps. “Because some of us need perfect scores and every bit of extra credit they can get if they want universities not to immediately bin their applications! Because some of us don’t have a last name they can flaunt, a daddy who can make a phone call, a mommy who can throw some money around, and suddenly you’re top of the list! Because some of us can’t just look at their rich parents and rely on them to always give them everything they want!”

The change in Black is instant. He takes a step back, and instead of his usual easy smile and bright eyes sparkling with mischief, his face becomes an ice-cold mask. “Fuck you, Lupin,” he hisses. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

He pushes past Remus as he storms off, leaving him behind feeling very confused. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Yes, the system is unfair and Black is privileged, but Remus supposes that isn’t really Black’s fault. He knows Black isn’t actually a bad person. His heart is in the right place, and he’s usually kind, only ever mean to people who, quite frankly, deserve it.

Remus just wishes Black would stop with those bloody pranks.

Remus just wishes Black would continue with those bloody pranks.

Or do anything really that makes him seem more like his old self. Remus never thought he’d miss that loud, barking laugh, that infuriating smirk, those lame puns so much.

Ever since everyone returned from Christmas break, Black has completely withdrawn. He hardly talks to anyone, he just sits silently, his eyes staring off in the distance and his expression blank. Potter is always by his side, softly talking to him or just throwing him worried glances.

Since then, it has been the talk of the school, and even in the papers and on the news: Sirius Black has been removed from his parents’ custody. It was a messy affair, the police has even been involved. Black’s father was arrested on grounds of child abuse. Apparently, Orion Black, the noble and well-respected patriarch of the prestigious Black family, has a habit of beating his son. It must’ve been going on for a while, but over the break it escalated. People just can’t get over how Sirius Black’s life wasn’t as perfect as it always seemed to be.

Remus feels bad for Black, and especially feels like an idiot, having said the things he said. He knows he owes Black an apology. It has been a couple of weeks since the break ended, and the apology is beginning to be long overdue. Though he also knows that Black has probably not been waiting for an apology from the uptight twat that always gets him detention.

Maybe it’s more to ease his own consciousness that he hesitantly approaches the table where Black is sitting. Potter glares at him the moment he sees him, and half gets out of his seat, probably to tell him to piss off, and rightfully so. However, after a quick glance at Black’s face, who’s looking up at Remus, he sits back down, as if he sees something on his friend’s face that makes him chance his mind.

“Bla- Sirius,” Remus says, realising a tad late that Sirius might nor want to be reminded of his family name right now. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “I said some shitty things to you, and I shouldn’t have. You were right, I didn’t know anything about you.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius says softly. “You had good reason to be angry, it’s a rather fucked up system. And you didn’t know. Didn’t know that I would’ve gladly given up all that privilege to just have parents who... who love me...”

Sirius’ voice falters and he trails off. Potter is staring at him wide-eyed, and also Remus is surprised. He knows Sirius hasn’t talked about it to anyone, and he feels almost guilty he’s saying it to him of all people. He’s also surprised at the overwhelming urge he has to pull Sirius into a hug, hold him and tell him they never deserved him anyway. He has to leave before he does anything stupid.

“I should go,” Remus says quickly. “If there’s ever anything I can do...”

As he turns around to leave, Black suddenly grabs his wrist. “Join us!”

Remus turns back to look at him.

“Join us for one prank.”

“Why would you want me to join you?” Remus asks, much like the first time.

“Because I like you,” Sirius replies, much like the first time, only where he had then sounded nonchalant and slightly amused, he now sounds pleading and vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Remus says hoarsely, because his Prefect duties suddenly don’t seem so important compared to helping Sirius come back to his old self. “Yeah, I’ll join you for one prank.”

And then the most amazing thing happens: for the first time in weeks, Sirius Black smiles. It’s only a small smile, but the room already seems a bit brighter. In a moment of vivid clarity, Remus knows that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make that boy smile.

[moemammon]

You are not Beyoncé but you're singing your heart out when you think you're home alone.

(Featuring the demon brothers and GN!MC)

For once, you had the house to yourself! Was this a miracle?? Were the heavens finally smiling down on you from above? Was this the result of all your good karma??? Whatever it was, you were almost certain that you were alone for once.

And what did that mean? Time for a good ol' fashion jam session. You put on your favorite tunes and set them to blast through the speaker of your D.D.D. while you danced around the house, singing your heart out. Who cared if some of your notes were flat, or if you had to drop a few pitches to hit those high notes?

Not you. You were just living your best life without a care in the world.

Until...

Lucifer

Of course the eldest would be around. Arguably the most mysterious and omnipotent brother in the house, so yeah. He's there.

He told you this morning that he’d have a meeting to attend after classes today. You thought he’d be out for a long while, but it just so happened that the meeting ended early today, much to his relief.

Not to yours though, because that means that Lucifer has front row seats to your amazing concert without your permission.

He didn't even have the courtesy to make himself known! He just waited in the kitchen, quietly preparing his coffee while your singing echoed through the halls.

You were sauntering your way to the kitchen as well, fumbling over forgotten lyrics without a care in the world, when you saw him.

Enemy spotted.

Does this mean he heard every single time your voice cracked-

Your eyes lock and Lucifer doesn't even mention what you were just doing, despite the obviously being within earshot of you.

You really start feeling the heat rising in your cheeks when he says "You seem to be in a good mood. Did something good happen to you at RAD today?"

Regardless of how you respond (or not), Lucifer turns his back to you to tidy up, and says "....I don't believe I've ever heard your singing before. You'll have to give me an encore in my office some time."

You swear you can hear the mischief in his tone....

Mammon

This seriously was unheard of. An afternoon without having mammon glued to your hip?? Hell must've frozen over or something.

Regardless, you weren't going to take this for granted! Mammon did mention something about a 'foolproof money making scheme' he had a dream about last night, so he was probably off trying to see if he could make it a reality.

Things like this usually took a huge chunk of greedy boy's afternoon, so you figured you were safe to sing as you pleased!

Besides, he probably would've texted you if he were on the way home, right?

Apparently not, because Mammon was very much home, and did not send you a text. Honestly? He forgot to. He was too busy wallowing in self pity.

How was he supposed to know that using magic to duplicate grim was illegal??

He managed to escape any real trouble and made his way back home, only to have his ears immediately blessed (or assaulted) by your singing.

He's not the type to sit around in secret until you notice him, so catch this boy marching around the house until he finds you himself. Not so quietly calling out your name the entire time, too.

Mammon caught you in the empty library singing your heart out. The acoustics were great in there! They also kinda drowned out the outside noise, so you couldn't really hear him yelling for you.

"Oh, I thought you were screamin' about a bug or something. What song is that?"

He's not shy about singing in the shower at the top of his lungs, so it's not like he's judging you?? But he's got his phone out when you spot him. The bastard is recording you...

So your knee jerk reaction is to attack

"Wh- Oi!! What're ya hitting me for?! I don't care if it's just a pillow- Hey!"

He has chosen death. Goodbye Mammon.

Leviathan

It was kind of bold of you to assume that Levi would ever be out of the house, but he DID mention something about a concert he wanted to attend..? Or some kind of book signing?

You don't really remember, and you don't have the mental strength to scroll through the sea of spam texts he's sent you today.

C'est la vie.

Since you're pretty sure you're alone, you're not taking your solo concert all around the house of lamentation, from the foyer to the west wing, up to the attic and down to the dining room.

Gotta find the perfect spot to sing this next part. It's got a really good bit with a flute, and you wanna stare longingly out of a window or something-

And it's when you pass by otaku man's room that he decides to make himself known by poking his head out. His headset is around his neck and his hair's a little tousled, hinting that he was in the middle of gaming.

You freeze. Neither of you can look the other in the eye.

It takes a while before the silence can be broken, but before you can say a word, Levi speaks.

"Y-You know... you should come to karaoke with me! Only if you want to, I mean! I didn't know you were a fan of singing, so... but you probably have other plans, right? You don't want to hang out with a gross otaku like me blah blah blah-"

You aren't sure if your brain is malfunctioning from being caught in the act, or from the word vomit spilling from everyone's favorite weeb.

Satan

Satan is a good, studious boy so you assumed he was staying after class to head to the library. He was lagging behind, so you didn't question it.

Or maybe he was planning his next prank? Lucifer did have to make an announcement tomorrow morning in front of the student body, and Satan had been awfully interested in glitter bombs lately...

Whatever the case, he wasn't home right now! Or so you thought.

You were busy switching between two different choruses AND a sick guitar riff all in one song, so there was no time to be thinking about the demon's whereabouts.

You did wonder where you left your bag at, though. You vaguely recalled dumping it at the front door, so maybe that's where it was?

Scooting your way down the hall like a music powered locomotive, you were right in the middle of imitating the sound of drums when you spotted the trembling grin plastered to Satan's face.

Hm.

Maybe you could ask Diavolo about sending you back to the human world right now.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were here, or I would've said something." Satan tells you, clearing his throat to further suppress his laughter. From the way his shoulders are shaking, he was barely holding on.

"I didn't think you were the type to like songs like that. Do you have a playlist you could recommend me? I'm interested after seeing how much you enjoy it."

That cheeky grin of his never breaks for a second, so you can't tell if he's actually asking for recommendations, or if he's watching for your reaction.

Asmo

Not a surprise that you assumed he wasn't home, since he rarely is. He's always out partying or shopping around, so you usually don't see him much around this time.

But that also means you're free to sing as loudly as you want! Look out Mariah Carey, there's a new high note singer in town.

Asmo can vouch for that! Because he can hear you. Clearly.

Okay but he's one of those people that joins in while you're singing.

Legit the moment he goes inside and recognizes your song, he's trying to serenade you from the other side of the house.

And boy do you hear him. This man can SING (as expected of a fallen angel), and he likes to sing loudly. He wants all eyes on him after all!

And maybe you'll be so smitten by his angelic voice that you'll come running into his arms and beg that he takes you right then and there!

Wishful thinking though, because that is not how you reacted. Boo...

He finds you, and wants to know what you think of his voice. "Well? My singing was beautiful, wasn't it~? I used to sing all the time up in the celestial realm! I don't mind giving you some private lessons back in my room~"

Was he implying that you needed lessons? Maybe... but he's a sweetheart about it so can you really be mad at him?

Beel

A crepe cart recently opened up for a limited time, and there was no way Beel was going to miss that. And knowing him, he wouldn't come home until there were no traces of food left in sight.

So you figured you'd have plenty of time to brush up on your sea shanties! Bold of you to assume...

Beel can inhale a billion times his weight in food in like, five minutes. What made you think he wouldn't be back home by now?

He was full for a good ten minutes (a new record!) and spent that time in his bedroom, hence why you didn't hear his usual rummaging through the kitchen for food.

Speaking of food, you were feeling kind of hungry yourself! And a little parched from all the singing, so a snack break couldn't hurt!

You slid on your socks along the hardwood floor all the way to the kitchen... where you nearly slammed into Beel. There he was, the mad lad himself.

He was also on the way to the kitchen. Surprise surprise, right? And he managed to catch you by the shoulders before you could slide into anything.

Beel is the least phased by your singing. He just thinks it's nice that you were comfortable enough to sing so loudly! Good to see that you're enjoying yourself.

He doesn't exactly address it? Instead he moves his hand forward to place something into yours.

It's a crepe that he saved, just for you! You stare at the delicate pastry, all topped with layers of fluffy whipped cream, strawberries and blueberries, and lovingly drizzled with chocolate sauce! There's a bite taken out of the side, though-

"I tried my best to hold back, but I took a bite. Sorry..."

How can you be mad at him?? You're not even embarrassed about the singing anymore tbh. Too full of love to care 💕💕

Belphie

When,,,, was Belphie ever not home,, like,,,,

This man has never seen a classroom in his life, so it's not like you could've expected him to be at RAD.

And he wasn't usually in town?? Definitely a homebody.

But Beel wanted someone to go with him to that crepe cart, and Belphie couldn't exactly turn his dear brother down when he gave him those big baby eyes-

And since Beel wasn't home, you figured Belphie was still out, too!

Spoiler alert: you thought wrong.

Belphie was home, and now wide awake thanks to your banshee screams singing. He managed to slip away from Beel when he got too tired. He didn't really want a crepe anyway, so he decided to head back.

Only to be rudely awaken... how dare you...

He's hellbent on finding you, JUST so he can get you to shush. Please.. let him rest his weary bones...

When he does locate you, you have your back turned to him and your music on max volume, occupying yourself with grabbing your clean laundry to take back to your room.

He doesn't speak, instead choosing to watch you shimmy around to the beat of your song. And when you do a little spin, you turn right around to face him and get to witness the sheer amusement on his face.

He's NOT letting your forget about this moment. And you can't escape him either, he won't let you.

The bastard corners you just to repeatedly ask "Hey, what were you singing? I haven't heard that one in a while. Mind singing it again for me?"

"With a voice like that, I'm afraid to ask you to sing me a lullaby."

"...Just kidding. Your face is really red right now, you know?"

You feel the sudden urge to stuff him into the dryer, but you resist.

The urge grows stronger when he imitates the little dance you were doing.

[i-cant-sing]

hi!! can i request a platonic yandere erasermic with a student reader??

Platonic Yandere! Erasermic:

Thanks for requesting! I love yandere Erasermic so much 😤😤 👊

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Platonic Yandere! Erasermic:

The BEST platonic yandere couple to have!

You're a student at UA, part of class 1A. You're Aizawa's favourite student. You're just so polite and so sweet. Always so eager to learn and try out new things. And even the class would notice his special treatment of you. "You forgot to do your homework? Hmm, alright you can submit it to me tomorrow. Denki you forgot to bring your homework? Go run 5 laps right now."

Hizashi would often hear about you from his husband. You sounded like a good kid. But he really became interested you when you came looking for Aizawa in the staff room, but you found him instead. Hizashi started talking to you, really just rambling about the most random things. He was expecting you to just leave and go look for Aizawa, but he was pleasantly surprised when you started talking to him too, easily carrying the conversation. Your eyes would light up when you were talking to him. And since then, you would always give him your complete, undivided attention whenever you guys spoke, no matter what the topic was. You'd sometimes be rambling, and then suddenly forget what you were talking about. It was just so cute!

Gradually, these two would become obsessed with their favourite student. They'd also become very protective of you. When it was time to choose an internship, Aizawa rejected all offers from different agencies on your behalf, lying to you that you didn't get any offers. And then you'd become so sad, near tears and then Aizawa would offer to train you himself, that he sees potential in you. Of course you'd accept, you'd get to train with Eraserhead, a rare opportunity!

When you'd be training with Aizawa, he'd go easy on you, but he'd still give you great tips on how to improve yourself and control your quirk. You still haven't been able to beat him once though. Since you'd be around Aizawa a lot, you'd also meet his partner, Hizashi, often. And since you would accompany Aizawa on his late night patrols, you'd have dinner (made by Hizashi, who's more than happy to cook for you) with them at their place a lot, and it always ended up with them offering you stay the night, and you sometimes did.

Their obsession love would continue to grow the more you spent time with them. And then one night, the couple would be discussing about expanding their family, and then they both knew it, right then and there. Its you. You'd be the perfect addition to their family, the perfect child! You're so kind, soft spoken. Outgoing yet shy and reserved when meeting new people. But you're just so naive, too innocent for your own good. And they've both seen the ugliness of the world, the worst in the people. They cannot afford to just stand by idly and risk you getting tainted by this filth.

It was decided that night that you had to become a part of their family. They'll make your parents disappear, they have both the money and the skills to do it. Maybe they'll say that your family was taken or killed by some villians, or better yet, they were caught doing something illegal. But don't worry, you can stay with them for as long as you want. When you try to refuse, that you can stay with a relative, they'll tell you that it's for your own safety. They don't want the villians to complete their unfinished business. Plus, they are more than capable of taking care you, and since you didn't want to risk another family member's life, you agreed.

You'll be having the best time of your life. They'll spoil the hell out of you, Hizashi especially. Aizawa does too, but he's just more protective of you.

Hizashi is a great cook! He'd learn to make your favourite dish too. And if you like something from a restaurant, he'll take it as a challenge and try to replicate the dish, or make a better one! At school, all 3 of you would sometimes have lunch together, you always bringing Aizawa's lunchbox along too, since he often forgets it. If you try to cook a dish for them, they'll treat it like its a Michelin star dish!

Aizawa would be the more protective one, always the harder one to convince to let you go out with your friends, especially at night. Hizashi would always convince him in the end, they're gonna follow you anyways so why stop you? Aizawa's a bit possessive too. He doesn't like it when you talk about other pro heroes, you're his little girl, you should be looking upto him. He won't say anything about it though.

Hizashi would love to just talk to you; you guys would often gossip. Oh and you always go to him for any fashion advice. Since he also has long hair that he styles up a lot, he can do your hair too! Just show him a picture of what you want, and he'll style hair exactly like it. Aizawa likes to do your hair too sometimes, but he only knows how to put it in a simple braid.

They're will be a lot fun activities for you to do with them. You can be having karaoke nights with Hizashi, Aizawa watching you guys with just pure adoration in hie eyes. You can play video games with Aizawa, which he is scary good at, especially at Among us. Family game nights are a must!

If you have any other hobbies or passions, you'll have 2 dads, cheering for you. They'll get you the best supplies available. If you win an award, any award, no matter how small, they'll tell you how proud they are and put your achievements either on the fridge or somewhere where everyone can see it.

Of the two, Aizawa would be the to quickly pick up on your mood. He knows when you're lying, when you're sad, or when you've just had a bad day at school. Hizashi would notice too, but it would be Aizawa who would know if you needed some space or if you needed to talk it out; they've always it clear to you that the latter option is always open.

Once they find out whats the reason you're feeling so down, they'll comfort you. You guys would often cuddle on the sofa as a funny movie played on the TV. Once you've gone to bed, they go and eliminate the cause of distress. Oh did you fail a test? Its okay, they'll tutor you personally. Oh did your favourite character die? Cry it out sweetie and let's go buy some of the character's merchandise . Oh did someone confess their feelings to you and you don't know what to do? Don't worry, he's taken care of.

Dating isn't an option. They'll be quick to reject him/her, listing reasons to you exactly why they're not good for you. Of course, nobody deserves their baby. But if you do go against their wishes, and still get an s/o in secret, they'll find about it. If they're thinking about how to separate you guys, and you walk in all heartbroken because your s/o broke up with you, with no persuasion from the couple; on the inside they'll be both glad and mad. Hizashi will be comforting you, cooing sweet nothings in your ear, while Aizawa would be standing with a "I warned you" look on his face at first but then he sees your red, teary face, your lips wobbling, your eyes full of pools of tears, and immediately his stern exterior would melt and he'll gather you in his arms and let you cry into his chest, while his mind will go to "MURDER". You're their sweet girl, their precious little baby. How dare someone play with your feelings like that. Your ex better sleep with one eye open.

If you do somehow find about what really happened to your parents, and you try to run away from them, not only will they have you back in their arms within the hour, they'll take you somewhere countryside. Its always been noisy in the city anyway. They'll try to explain to you, that they really just did all of this to protect you and that it should show how much they love you and care about you. No physical punishment will ever meet you. No, they can't bear the thought of hurting you! They'll use manipulation to control you, and they are master manipulators. They do so much for you, aren't they enough?

Just be happy they still allow you to roam around the countryside, and not had you locked up in your room. School would be off the table for a while, as will any connection to your friends. Its about time they all had a family vacation anyway.

I'd let Erasermic adopt me in a heartbeat, ngl. 👊 Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this! Requests are OPEN. :)