#does not mean anything about whether you'll believe it's *true*

[a-chilleus]

.

[asstrolo]

astrology observations for sad people

— the signs who I personally believe are really misunderstood by their peers are often capricorns and aquarius because of their saturnian tendencies where they become the mature, bigger person or are aloof of how they're presenting themselves, they always think they know better or people feel very intimidated by their personalities and, because people don't understand them, they alienate them,

— aries and scorpio as they are very intense, over confident people, other's might feel put-off by them, they can be very controlling and have a "I don't care" kind of personality that doesn't usually goes well with others, their ways of always trying to make themselves clear and understood causes the opposite effect, they are often misjudged as villainous or mean,

— geminis are also put in a place of having to know better, not given a chance or space to mess up as they are very intelligent people and show it, others might have big expectations which are often not met since they prefer to do what makes them happy and makes them curious, they tend to over-inflate themselves, or the opposite, and people take their words too seriously or not at all, very polarizing sign.

— a stellium in 4th can be super difficult to deal with, specially if it falls on not easy planets like mars, or saturn, uranus, or pluto. These people are always dragged back to their family issues no matter how much they try to escape, their parents maybe gave them too much responsibilities as little kids or vented to their child without thinking of the consequences, if these people ever decide to have a family they should always consider if they're doing it because they want to or because it is what's expected of them.

— chiron in social signs as gemini, aquarius and libra feel very alienated at all times, having social interactions is a learning experience for them, whether is good or bad, I also notice people usually get obsessed with them? They don't respect these people¡s space or it could be the other way around, to me is a placement where you'll learn to not be socially inept or teach people how to treat you right for some reason?

— saturn IS a complicated planet, it depends on the person's other planets and aspects how they deal with saturn, a person with moon conjuct saturn has a harder time dealing with their emotions than a capricorn moon. Even when the energies are similar, they don't have the same impact.

— now, a person with a capricornian stellium or dominant does deal with the saturn energy much comfortably than a person with sun trine saturn, because they were born with it. I personally believe you accommodate, or your aspects accommodate to you as you grow and evolve as a person.

— a pisces stellium, specially if is on moon or ascendants, is very perceptive to other's opinion on them, not in a superficial way but more on a "does this person thinks i'm being fair or mean?" Let's not forget the sister sign of Pisces is Virgo, so these signs also share the analytical or more neurotic way of seeing the world. A Pisces Rising is very self-aware of how they come off to people or how they are seen, they might not show it or say anything about it, a Pisces mercury might be self-conscious about how they approach others, how their voice sounds or how they come off when talking.

— I do believe leo's have a harder time being appreciated by people, as they devote to other's so easily they could neglect themselves in the process. Is the kind of person who is always looking out for someone to make happy or to make them feel comfortable because is something they want reciprocated. But this is a thing that can happen to fire signs a lot, they can be overbearing or too kind to people that it ends up backfiring on them, they have a very childlike mentally.

— is true what they say, a 12th house stellium in a natal chart makes the person passive and/or too in their own world, they have premonitions in dreams, but I've also seen these individuals have a really hard time with sleep, they have paranormal experiences a lot that some of them are used to it. They can be in some sort of medication, but not all, and not always these people are medicated or doing substances, they have an easier time to have out-of-body experiences, like lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis, these can occur because these people are super sensitive and get easily drained and stressed. Is important they are taking care of their energy at all times, I've met many that have one, two or more 12th house placement where I've found out some other person has been doing some sort of witchcraft on them, or have a big negative energy that this 12th houser sucks accidentally.

— having a mercurial dominant or rising can be super difficult when it comes to feeling, they tend to rationalize everything too much, are easily distracted and indulgent, they are very, very anxious at all times on all situations, even if they show otherwise. they overthink things too much, are the kind to be incredibly self-aware or completely out of touch with themselves.

— the ascendant aspecting negatively the mercury gives the individual speech impediment or a very shy personality, an almost inaudible voice or a raspy one, people with this placement have a harder time getting their thoughts across, or people might misinterpret them.

— keeping the conversation going, mercury negatively aspecting saturn makes a shy and reserved person, someone who, as a kid or a teen, has problems with being heard, or people simply didn't care or asked for this person's opinions, they might had been very codependent on an adult or somebody else to talk or to get to be seen, as they grow older they learn to communicate rather excellently, they might want to treat their shyness or whatever problem they have with unwanted attention or negligence

— neptune in personal houses like the 1st, 7th, 4th or 10th is really tricky. you might ignore gut feelings bout certain individuals, or on the contrary, believe someone is good when they aren't. these people can be their own worst enemies as they are super perceptive of how they come across to others, or how others make them feel.

— neptune in the 1st is common on actors and models and singers, usually on famous people, because they can create a fantasy of how they want people to see them, or act like chameleons around people, this creates a series of identity crisis during their lives.

— neptune in 7th is prone to feel things that really aren't there? they convince themselves somebody hates them or likes them for just one interaction, these individuals are like a sponge in social situations and they take everything somebody tells them to the heart. they also are known to lie a lot to people on behalf of good manners, they like to be liked.

— neptune in 4th house has a really confusing or unclear family situation, they might adopt the role of the parent when they shouldn't, or are treated as a child even as an adult, something in their family, in what they think is normal growing up, isn't. the most likely to stay in a bad situation for many, many years because they don't know any better, or think it's normal.

— neptune in 10th, although it deals with fame and impersonal relationships, to me, is just as fundamental as the houses listed above. they don't see themselves through their own eyes, or feel like they depend on other's perceptions on themselves too much, they are confident, or pretend it really well. these individuals know how to act the part, how to commit to the bit, they never feel that sense of belonging anywhere, because they might show different parts of their personalities to different people

— for me, the hardest moons to have are capricorn, scorpio and virgo.

— capricorn moon is a strictly analytical sign, they don't feel comfortable in the moon as is where the emotions and insecurities shine the most.

— scorpio moon is a very intense sign, as opposite to the Capricorn, they can be super emotional, or completely numb, very extremist and their emotions are black or white, polarizing.

— virgo moon is extremely difficult, they don't like to have to feel things, they like to think and act with precaution and it's hard for them to let their emotions slip, the kind of friend who'd have the most practical advice to all sort of topics, a helpful hand in all situations, but when it comes to them as individuals, they let themselves be too much, their head is always at a thousand percent. From what I've gathered of this moon is that, yes, they are neurotic when it comes to certain things, but completely careless to others, and it's usually to themselves, you won't ever see a Virgo moon misbehave or dress bad, but they can hold a lot of suppressed shame or anger or sadness, like they tie it with a bow in a box and keep it locked.

— lastly, no aspect or moon or sign is bad, they are just more difficult than others, there are people with easy aspects, like sun sextile or trine jupiter, they are prone to idealization and inferiority complexes. it's true that a person that has the harmonious aspects is lazier or gets unmotivated way easier. nothing is really set in stone, you can have a moon conjunct saturn and a cancer mercury in 9th house, your way of expressing yourself is more reserved, but optimistic and even childlike. when it comes to astrology, every single aspect and sign, and house counts to describe a person.

[strangersteddierthings]

Good People

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part

Wayne knows eavesdropping isn't the done thing. He's definitely old enough to know better, and he wasn't going to. He had a plan. He was going to walk directly into the living room, so they'd know he was awake, and after he'd fixed his cup of coffee, he'd plopped into his perfectly worn in recliner and subtly glare at the Harrington boy until he squirmed.

Mostly because it amused Wayne, but also just a little sliver of it was because he wanted the Harrington boy to know Wayne didn't think he was good enough for his boy. But only a little! Lord knows that Wayne couldn't do anything to make Eddie change his mind about Steve Harrington, short of Harrington proving Wayne right. Which he doesn't actually want because he doesn't want Eddie hurt.

He's just... He expects it to happen. That's what boys like Harrington do to boys like Eddie. He's seen it enough times to know that this song and dance leave no room for improvisation. Boys like Harrington play around, get their kicks with the devotion Eddie shows them, and then when they've had their fill, they leave.

Boys like Harrington will never be good enough for Eddie, but they always leave with Eddie feeling like he's not enough. Wayne hates it.

Anyway, his plan wasn't to eavesdrop. It's just that Harrington said his name and Wayne found himself standing still instead of continuing.

"Why doesn't Wayne like me?" Harrington asks.

"This again?" Eddie says dismissively, which has Wayne agreeing. His opinion shouldn't have bearing on their friendship.

A deep sigh from Harrington before, "I just. It's- he means so much to you. And, like, I- nevermind. It's stupid. I'm stupid."

"Hey," Eddie sounds a type of serious that Wayne rarely hears from him, "you're not stupid. And you gotta quit fucking saying that. You say it enough and you'll start to believe it and it's not true."

"Hard to quit feeling stupid when people dismiss my concerns like they are stupid," Harrington snaps back, bitchy as can be. The tone makes Wayne bristle on behalf of Eddie. His boy doesn't reply immediately, though. Doesn't bite back like Wayne's used to hearing. Huh. Maybe he's growing up, just a little.

"You're right, Steve," Eddie says when he finally speaks. "That was dismissive. I'm sorry. Explain it to me. Why does it matter to you whether Wayne likes you or not?"

"Well, because he's your family."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, "he is. But that doesn't explain why it matters. I don't care if your parents like me or not."

"That's different!"

"How?" Eddie asks, soft but firm.

"Because their opinion doesn't matter. It's not- It's irrelevant. What they think."

"That makes no sense. Wayne's opinion matters because he's my family, but your parents' opinion doesn't even though they're your family?"

"Yes!"

"But why?" Eddie presses.

"Because they're bad people!" Steve bursts, not quite shouting but close. "Because when bad people don't think highly of you, it's not a fault in you. Their disproval is, like, a compliment. They don't like you because you're too different from them. And that's great! You shouldn't want their approval. It's different, because your uncle is a good person. And when a good person doesn't like you, it is your fault. It's something- it's..." Harrington loses steam here, voice dropping low and defeated, "there's something wrong with me. Something in me that- that he just knows. Senses about me or whatever. Something wrong or rotten or-"

"Steve! That's bullshit. Sure, Wayne's been standoffish, but he'll come around. You're not wrong, or rotten, or whatever else you think you are."

"How do you know that? I was an asshole most of life and what if that's just the real me? What if that's who I'll always be deep down. 'Cause I'm trying so damn hard, man. I'm giving it my all trying to be a better person and it's not enough! Everyone still talks about who I was in high school and even you-" Harrington snaps his mouth closed so hard that Wayne hears the clack of his teeth from his position in the hallway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."

"Steve. This is about more than just my uncle's opinion of you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I want you, too. I want to know if I've ever done anything to make you feel like you aren't enough."

Wayne really shouldn't be listening. He should back down the hall and into his room. Give them time to talk.

"No, Eddie, you don't make me feel like- that's not what I meant. I just. I'm...."

"Hey, Stevie, you can tell me."

"I'm just so afraid that... That one day everyone will wake up and realize what Wayne already knows. That I'm not good enough for them. For you."

Oh. Wayne really shouldn't be listening.

"I'll admit that Wayne's opinion is important to me, for a lot of things. But not about you. What I feel about you, how I feel about you, isn't dictated by Wayne."

"Sure. I mean, I know that, like, logically or whatever. But it's. I can't convince my brain that you won't just. Hate me one day. And I- fuck, Eddie, I'm already halfway in love with you and-"

"You're in love with me?" Eddie interrupts, sounding awed, starstruck, and Wayne cannot be listening anymore. He backs down the hall silently and back into his room.

Steve Harrington seems to think that he's a good person, but he's not feeling like a good person at the moment.

He's got some thinking to do.

[ddarker-dreams]

How much do you think it takes to fluster the husband rotation???

it doesn't take much?? not most people's definition of 'much', at least.

for chrollo, overhearing you talk about him (whether it be on the phone or you haven't noticed him standing there yet) gives him pause. it's in instances like these that people reveal their true colors. he's confident in his ability to read you, sure, but hearing your unfiltered thoughts out loud? that's an opportunity he'd kill for. metaphorically and literally. he waits with bated breath, almost embarrassed by his anticipation. you'd think he was a school girl eavesdropping on her crush. and when he hears you not only call him handsome, but emphasize just how much you enjoy your discussions with him? those very discussions that he cherishes dearly? he smiles without realizing it. faced with death, his heart remains steady. faced with anything related to you, it can't slow down.

gojo is, to the surprise of no one, kinda weird. you could huskily whisper the naughtiest line into his ear — he'd just grin and flirt back. he gets so caught up in outdoing you that he forgets to feel embarrassed. want to leave him speechless and knock the air from his lungs? it's surprisingly simple. steal one of his shirts, wear it as your PJs, then doze off waiting for him to return home. he secretly feels bad that his work hours are so erratic. he'll tell you not to stay up for him, but that doesn't mean he isn't touched when you try. the idea of you sitting there, fighting to stay awake because you want to spend time with him? cupid's arrow couldn't compare to the emotions that makes him experience. this, along with the added bonus of his too large shirt engulfing your form does him in. gojo takes enough pictures to necessitate buying additional cloud storage.

for scaramouche..................... just be nice to him without ulterior motives. that's it. no, really. he can't comprehend kindness. he understands transactions, where anything done for the sake of another is still ultimately for one's own benefit. this cynicism has helped him navigate fatui politics yet impedes any personal growth. brew him his favorite bitter tea, organize his belongings, gift him a homemade trinket; he'll flitter through multiple emotions. suspicion, confusion, then, finally, this warm sensation in his supposedly hollow chest that he can't find a word for. this little act haunts him. he can't stop obsessing over it. he wants to find proof that you're like every other wretched, self-serving creature in this world — (or does he?) — but his investigation proves unsuccessful. confronted by this undeniable reality, he's left to wrestle with the implications. you're genuinely thoughtful (ew) and most egregious of all, he likes it (ew x2). this is going to be his undoing, isn't it...?

blade is similarly simple. you needn't jump through hoops of fire to get his obstinate heart pounding. as for what does him in most effectively — your greetings. it's why he shows up unannounced. you'll freeze, giving him a once over, eyebrows cutely scrunching together as your brain puts two and two together. then stars twinkle in your eyes. you glow with the radiance of a thousand suns, running at him, your arms outstretched and legs keen on jumping. he catches you with ease. he's grateful that your face is buried into his chest. otherwise, you'd spot how the tip of his ears go red. what has he ever done to deserve such an enthusiastic welcome? nothing, as far as he's concerned. he doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve you, yet here you are, excitedly rambling in his arms over his return. he'll say he just happened to be in the star system and decided to stop by. don't believe him. he traveled across the universe for you.

[silverryuan]

Vil Schoenheit with a sibling dating Neige and then coming out gay to him

Sibling! Schoenheit: *knocks on door*

Vil: "Who is it?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "It's me, dear brother."

Vil: "Ah, you may come in."

Sibling! Schoenheit: *opens door* "Good afternoon."

Vil: "Good afternoon. May I ask why are you here instead of attending your club activities?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "To discuss something important with you."

Vil: "And does this discussion have anything to do with your academic performance? Professor Crewel talked to me yesterday and he said that you're failing his quizzes. Would you care to explain?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "....."

Vil: "....?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "....I'm gay, Vil."

Vil: "I know. Now tell me why are your grades below the standards' perfection?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "It's alright if you don't understa- wait, what?"

Vil: "Are you deaf? I said why are your scores in--"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "No,no,not that. You KNEW I was gay? How?"

Vil: "Mostly due to my influence. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to study."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "For how long?"

Vil: "As early as your freshman year."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "..."

Vil: "So Rook told me that you're dating someone without my permission..."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "ROOK!"

Rook, hidden under the window outside: "Oui?"

Sibling! Schoenheit, removes one of their shoes and throws it at Rook: "I SWEAR TO THE GREAT SEVENS, IF I SEE YOU AGAIN YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!!"

Rook, dodges the shoe and leaves: "Ooh la la! A hunt between me and Roi du Toxique! In that case, I will prepare to be hunted! Au revoir!"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "WHY THAT SON OF A--

Vil: "Ahem!"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "... Baguette."

Vil: "I am guessing that this secret lover of yours is also the reason why you're failing?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "No, it's not that..."

Vil: "Then you must be struggling whether to change yourself to suit your secret lover's horrible tastes?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "You're wrong! Neige is--"

Vil: "Pardon?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "U-umm... They are a good person?"

Vil: "I'm sorry but... I couldn't help but hear a certain name "Neige" coming from you."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "....I can explain---"

Vil: "GREAT SEVENS, SIBLING! SCHOENHEIT! HAVE YOU DROPPED YOUR STANDARDS?! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CHOOSE TO DATE HIM INSTEAD OF ANY OTHER MEN OUT THERE!! HE IS A MUCH WORSE INFLUENCE THAN EPEL!!!"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "...B-but he's a sweet and kind person with good morale... I cannot ask for a better lover--"

Vil: "PLEASE! THAT FRIENDLY AURA OF HIS IS NOTHING BUT A FACADE TO GET WHAT HE WANTS!! ONE DAY, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THAT THE WORLD OF BEAUTY AND ENTERTAINMENT WILL CHOOSE HIM OVER YOU, AND YOU'LL STAY IN HIS SHADOW NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!!!"

Sibling! Sibling: "Well, that's rich coming from someone who hasn't even seen his facade!"

Vil, about to Overblot a second time: "YOU DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER HIS OBLIVIOUSNESS AND NAIVETY AS A PART OF HIS OVERLY HAPPY-GO-LUCKY PERSONALITY! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT HE MAKES LITTLE TO NO EFFORT OF WORKING HARD PAINFULLY EVERYDAY FOR THE SAKE OF BEAUTY?! HE. IS. NOT. WORTHY. TO BE CALLED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF ALL!!!"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "Can't YOU see that he's trying to be himself?!... He didn't want to upset everyone that he's being overwhelmed by his own popularity... He perfected and keeps the smile on his face everyday to hide it all... He cares and loves me for ME. And I cherish every moment with him."

Vil: ".........."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "...It's okay, dear brother. Although I am choosing him... You're still the most beautiful of all."

Vil: ".....You mean that, Sibling! Schoenheit?"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "I mean every single word and I stay true to you as your sibling."

Vil, hugs them: ".....I forgive you."

Sibling! Schoenheit, hugs back: "... Thank you for understanding."

Vil: "........................"

Sibling! Schoenheit: "...................."

Vil: "I forgive YOU but I don't forgive HIM. I'll allow you to date him for a while but if he tries anything strange, come to me."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "Brother!"

Vil: "I stand with my statement. You cannot change my mind. Now that that's out of the way, what are you potatoes doing in my room?"

Ace: "...Huh?...."

Deuce: "... U-umm...."

Rook: "😊"

Epel: ".........Uhh...."

Jamil: ".....*sigh*....."

Kalim: "We thought that you're gonna Overblot again, so..."

Sibling! Schoenheit: "................."

Vil: "ALL OF YOU GET OUT."

[zshiftsrealties]

HOW I APPROACH SHIFTING/MANIFESTING AS A RELIGIOUS PERSON

this post was inspired by @st4rg1rl-1nterlude's blog.

I haven't put any personal information about myself out here yet, so this is going to be the first time I do anything of the like. I am a Muslim, and why I didn't really make a post like this before, is because I didn't find anyone who was also a Muslim and active in this community (or so I thought). only yesterday did I find out that there actually ARE other Muslims out here, and so I thought that maybe, if I share my pov on shifting/manifesting, it could help out someone else too. that's the intention behind this post.

just a quick note before I start, I am absolutely not bashing anyone for what they believe, and how they perceive shifting/manifesting/anything else. this is just my view that I wanted to share with other Muslims. and for the people who follow me, and may believe differently than me; this is absolutely a safe place, and I totally respect each of your respective views.

there's going to be religious references (ayahs, etc), so if you're uncomfortable/uninterested, you can stop reading here.

okay now onto the topic.

• how I approach shifting?

as Muslims, we know that our bodies are not ours, and have instead been trusted onto us by Allah. we are the soul, not the body. and the body is only given to us so we can experience the 3D world. right?

that's exactly how I approach shifting too. since I am not the body, but the soul (or pure consciousness), i'm not bound to it. and souls, do not have any identity attached to them. and since we are souls, then — ultimately, everything that is true for the soul is true for us too. meaning we also do not have any identity attached to us. we aren't defined by gender, race or anything as such. we are just energy (soul). that's all. and energy doesn't feel happiness, sadness — any emotion, as humans do. not claiming that souls don't feel anything at all, but they're more at peace — taken separately — as compared to the vessel.

now onto the topic of "shifting is haram", so, personally — no. not to me. "haram" refers to something that will inevitably hurt you, or put you in harm's way (whether physically, or emotionally). that's the only reason why Allah has made many things haram. but shifting is literally just being aware of another you out there. it's like switching from one channel to another. and before you ask "but if we do something that's haram there, will we get sin for it?", so also, no. because in this moment, there are a billion yous in different universes, that are maybe commiting crimes, arson, whatnot. will your scale be filled with all of that? no. your scale is only going to be filled with what you do HERE. in this body. the body that you were first put in. what your soul — which is just you — does here. also your soul doesn't shift, your awareness does. (keep in mind, this is my view, and you're not liable to taking my word for anything).

now,

• how I approach manifesting?

manifesting is much more simpler. it's like making a dua, and knowing you'll get an answer 100% because of who you're asking. it's literally the EXACT same.

the only things you have to be mindful of is your self-concept, and your concept of who Allah is. if you absolutely believe that Allah can do anything for you, but you don't think you deserve it, then you'll probably not get it. why? because ultimately, your view of self will be reflected in your belief in Allah. if you think "I asked Allah for a car, but I don't think I'll get it because I don't deserve it" then even though you did ask, you won't get it, because you think you're not worthy of getting an answer back from Allah.

similarly, if your self-concept is absolutely perfect, but your view of Allah is, "he won't give it to me" or "Muslims don't get what they want in this life" or "everything comes after struggling", then do you see what you're doing here? assuming, and your assumptions always come true. also, your belief in you — or anything for that matter — cannot ever be more than your belief in Allah. so you won't get what you want, again.

why? see this.

"Allah the Exalted said, `I am as My servant thinks of Me.'" — Hadith 15, 40 Hadith Qudsi.

how you view Allah is exactly how you'll see Him be with you. so only think good of Allah, that is exactly what He is worthy of.

"Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship," — Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 185.

so, when Allah intends ease for you, you don't have to struggle to finally have what you want. Allah doesn't take any enjoyment in making you wait. He does not. so when making dua/manifesting, think beforehand about your view of your Creator.

you're not selfish for wanting the world and the akhirah. you can have both. your Lord will give you both. so, in your relation with your Lord, keep a good view on both you and Allah. that's how everything will work out.

and I know there are many posts and views that state that "you are the creator" or "you are the God" and "there's no higher being", and honestly, that's just their view, and it's valid, for them.

but for us, Muslims (or anyone who believes in God), we know that God takes care of everything 24/7.

"Not a leaf falls but that He knows it” — Surah Al-An'am, verse 59.

so, if even something so mundane is controlled by Him, it's almost absurd to read the notion that "we are the creator", much less believe it, right? and you don't have to. because you know your Creator will never ever leave you without giving you something that He has set your heart upon. so you don't have to control anything in the first place. just say what you want, tell Him and believe you'll get it, and without a doubt, you will.

incase that I skipped over anything, or if you have any questions, anything — feel free to ask.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

You ever think about how in spite of knowing their exact locations, the game never gives any indication that templar Carver has reported his mage sibling, Merril (a blood mage) or Anders (an abomination) to his superiors?

I do think about that a lot, even though I tend to ignore the Templar Carver route because I know Warden Carver to be true in my heart and soul... but I totally get the appeal of Templar Carver within DA2's narrative, y'know?

It's so fascinating, really. I've never played a run with Templar Carver, I just can't bring myself to do it, so I know I'm missing out on smaller details of it. From what I do know, this drives me crazy in the best way possible.

Deciding whether to bring him or not to the Deep Roads is such an important choice, not only because it affects his fate, but how it affects his relationship to Hawke. He tells you that he wants to go, he makes it very clear that it's important to him that he goes, too... and Hawke can just leave him behind and it hurts him. I don't think that registers enough with some people just because of how Carver is, like it doesn't matter what Hawke's motivations are [staying behind for his safety, not wanting to bring him, thinking someone should stay with Leandra, etc] it still hurts him because it tells him that Hawke doesn't need him, and Carver wants to be needed.

And yes, there are other contributing factors to why he joins the templars, but it doesn't matter what your relationship is to him, it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't turn Hawke or his companions in.

Sure, the meta reason is it's a video game and you're playing the main character. You're never in any actual danger of being captured by templars, and you're not going to lose your companions to them that easy.

But if we look at it through the narrative and Carver's character, that's when it gets interesting. You can max out his rivalry and be an utter asshole to him [there's a point where you can call him a brat and mock him for being stuck in your shadow, like Hawke can be real cruel about it] but it doesn't matter, you're still his sibling. He even makes a remark about how you might not know what that means [referring to leaving him behind] but he does. He refuses to kill Hawke in the end when Meredith makes the order, too.

Which can I just point out that Hawke has the option to let Bethany die in the end if she's with the circle and they side with the templars? Just saying, Carver NEVER does that no matter what, but Hawke has the option to betray Bethany like that and it's fucked and interesting and it makes me want to eat my chair-

As for Merrill and Anders, I think he knows that if he turns either of them in, then the chances of Hawke being brought in as well skyrocket. They're all friends, they're in the same group... bring one in, and you'll probably get the other two.

I also think Carver just genuinely likes Merrill. Yes, I'm a Carver/Merrill shipper, so I have a bias, but even if you remove anything romantic from their dynamic I believe that's true. Of all the companions, Merrill is the only one who doesn't make fun of him, or find him annoying, in party banters. He never snaps back at her, like he's never defensive with her, he's just a little awkward and nice.

Like, HE'S SO NICE TO HER! He tries to find common ground with her! She asks him about "swording" and he's taken aback by her saying he's good at it, but you KNOW that if someone like Anders asked him the same question, he's be all, "shut up, you're stupid, stop talking to me >:["

Think back to that banter Carver can have with Aveline post-act 1 where they're talking about how the guard wasn't the right place for him [hard disagree with you there, Aveline] and Carver says he was a bit of a tit, wasn't he.... and every companion will agree except Merrill. She doesn't say anything, whereas other companions like Anders will be like "ugh maker YES" and if you have a purple Hawke, they'll go on to other ways Carver was a tit like?? I think Carver and Merrill got along and he doesn't want to turn her in because she was nice to him! And she's a blood mage! He knows what will happen to her if the templars get ahold of her! He doesn't want to see her made tranquil or killed!

At that point, he's witnessed what bad blood mages can do, assuming you've brought him along for those quests, but even so. He knows Merrill isn't like that and he likes her, so of course he's not going to turn her in despite that being his literal duty.

Then there's Anders who Carver doesn't like. If you're in a romance with him, Carver will tell him that's why he doesn't turn him in but c'mon Carver, you know that's not the only reason. My theory is Carver may not like Anders and he knows the man's got a spirit of justice inside of him... but Anders also runs a free clinic. If he's ever taken in by templars, then so many people [including a LOT of Fereldan refugees] will be without free health care and will suffer for it. I think in Carver's eyes, Anders might be irritating but he doesn't more good than harm. Carver knows first hand how shitty refugees and poorer people are treated in Kirkwall. Anders' clinic is the one place they can go for help and actually get it, and he's not going to be the one to take that away because the templars say "magic bad."

So yeah, I'm not as informed about the Templar Carver route, but I do think about how if I did do that route, he wouldn't betray Hawke or their companions no matter what and what that says about him.

[max1461]

Motivated by this post by @eightyonekilograms, although not a direct response to it (just some general thoughts I have). This is not a defense of making unsubstantiated claims in academic articles!

I think bullshitting has always been totally normalized and uncontroversial in most spaces, except very carefully cultivated ones with strong anti-bullshitting mechanisms. I've been saying this for years: people's words don't actually mean anything much of the time! Normal people do not ask themselves if something is true before saying it. They say it because it sounds good, or feels right, or they expect it will please their audience. This is not some unique quirk of this or that political faction, it's the near-universal nature of the human social world. You can't, like, just go around literally believing people on things (unless they give you a really good reason to do so) or you'll find yourself totally epistemically adrift.

You also can't go around demanding evidence from people on every claim they make, because you don't have the time for that and neither do they. Beyond that, if they're telling you some shit about their personal life it's very often (I might even say: almost always) best to treat it as true regardless of whether it actually is or not, for both practical and moral reasons (the latter related to respecting others' autonomy).

So what does one do? In my opinion:

Practice passive skepticism. When you hear a new claim, don't start by evaluating its truth value! You probably don't even have the requisite background knowledge to do that effectively anyway, and you probably don't need to know the truth value of every random claim the people around you make (most of it has little relevance to you). Just suspend judgement on shit by default. This also means you won't easily be duped, because you're not in the habit of believing (or disbelieving!) random claims that you hear. Only actually go to the trouble of making a truth deliberation if you're genuinely interested in a claim, or genuinely need to know its truth value for some practical reason. You can hold a claim in your head for years "just in case", and then deliberate on it when doing so actually serves you instead of right when you hear it, and you'll be able to do it right instead of doing it in a hurry. Stop with the relentless truth-seeking! It's not a good strategy.

Get comfortable just going along with what other people are saying to you while your judgement is suspended, or even while you actively disagree (as long as you judge the disagreement not to be of practical or personal relevance). I think people worry about... accidentally coming to believe something, just because they've gone along with it? Well, don't do that. You're an independent mind with your own set of epistemic standards; apply them! But (this is social advice, not epistemic advice): you don't always need to be externalizing them, vocalizing them! That will get you into needless bullshit arguments over bullshit that you already know is likely bullshit, which you could have just avoided. Determine for yourself what you think is true, on the inside, and vocalize it when it's relevant or desirable to do so.

Uh, probably some other stuff that I forgot while I was writing this, whatever.

People are really wonderful, they are wonderful creatures, but they don't mainly use language for conveying truth (that's a common misconception) and if you go into life expecting that they will, they will come out looking horrible! But truth-seeking is not the main thing most people understand language to be for, and this isn't wrong, it's a perfectly valid use! I myself do all kinds of stuff with language other than truth-seeking; in fact, as articulated above, most of my truth-seeking does not involve linguistic exchange at all (or, well, it does, but it's linguistic exchange that doesn't superficially look like it's related to truth-seeking). Uh. And you don't have to be a liar to do any of this, I mean you can tell people honestly "I don't really know" about something on which you have suspended judgement if they ask. You can be perfectly open about your passive skepticism (and why shouldn't you be, it is a desirable state of mind IMO). So yeah.

[realitycrafted]

manifesting 101 🎀: understanding the law of assumption

✮☾❀✣• - the only guide you'll ever need - •✣❀☾✮

welcome back, reality crafters!

before diving too deep into the journey, i want to give, those who aren’t quite familiar with it, a detailed guide to manifestation and the law of assumption. manifestation is the art of bringing your desires to life through focused thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. the law of assumption, a core principle in manifesting, teaches us that what we assume to be true about ourselves and the world eventually becomes our reality. by learning to consciously shape these assumptions, we can start creating the life we’ve always dreamed of. so let’s break down exactly how this works and how you can start using it today!

🎀 what is the law of assumption? 🎀

the law of assumption is a concept that states: whatever you assume to be true about yourself and the world, consciously or unconsciously, will shape your reality. it’s based on the idea that our beliefs and assumptions create our experiences—our thoughts and feelings influence the world around us. in other words, your outer world reflects your inner state.

pioneered by neville goddard, this law emphasizes that by changing your assumptions about life, yourself, and your desires, you can create any reality you want.

🎀 manifesting: what does it mean? 🎀

to manifest means to enter a specific state of feeling and remain in it. manifestation is instant. as soon as you decide you want something, it is done, it is yours. when crafting our physical reality (3d), we bring something from thought, from our imagination (4d) into the 3d. this happens when your subconscious mind is impressed with an assumption, it doesn't know if your assumption is real or imagined. as a result, the 3d must conform to whatever you believe and assume. every human has the power to manifest, and in fact, we are always manifesting. every belief, every repeated thought, every assumption we hold creates experiences that mirror those inner beliefs. manifesting isn’t something new or magical—it’s a natural process we’re constantly engaged in, whether we’re aware of it or not.

manifesting with intention simply means consciously choosing to direct your assumptions and beliefs toward what you want, rather than letting old, limiting beliefs create your reality.

see your imagination, the 4d reality, as the only, true reality in which everything is possible. and in turn, the 3d must conform!

my personal experience: all my life, i'd been telling myself: "i have a horrible life, i hate it, i am a horrible, ugly person, i hate myself", so obviously that is exactly what i had gotten because i truly believed it. when i started taking my manifestation journey seriously and started consciously practicing the law of assumption, telling myself that i love myself, i love my life, i am worthy and only deserve good things, i quickly noticed how my life was beginning to positively change ... and it still is!

🎀 how to manifest intentionally with the law of assumption 🎀

while we are always manifesting, we can use the law of assumption to consciously shape our lives. here’s how:

☙❏ identify your desires - decide what you want

be clear on your desire. this could be anything from love, success, health, peace, etc. the more specific you are, the easier it will be to hold a clear assumption about it.

i wanted a better, more peaceful relationship with my mom, and stop feeling like she hated me.

☙❏ create your assumptions - assume it’s already yours

our minds and subconscious take our assumptions as instructions, influencing how we perceive and react to the 3d world. so think about the beliefs you would hold if your desires were already fulfilled. you could use affirmations that align with these new assumptions to help you believe them more.

"i am loved", "i am worthy and enough", "i have a beautiful, peaceful relationship with my mom", ...

☙❏ embody the feeling - live in the end

mentally and emotionally embody the state of already having what you desire, the feeling of your desire being fulfilled. for example, if you want a new job, feel the excitement of already having it. if it’s a loving relationship, imagine how fulfilled and happy you would feel in that relationship. if you want confidence, walk, talk, act like you already possess it. act, think, and feel as if what you want is a done deal. when doubts arise, gently bring yourself back to the feeling of your wish fulfilled.

☙❏ persist in your assumption

this is one of the most important parts—persistence. even if you don’t see results right away, continue to assume your desire is already yours. consistency is key. the more you focus on the end result, the more real it becomes. persist in these new assumptions, especially when doubts arise. this doesn’t mean ignoring the 3d reality but choosing to focus on your desired outcome as if it’s true.

🎀 tips to strengthen your manifesting practice 🎀

there are a couple of techniques to stay consistent and really get to and remain in the state of your desire already fulfilled as much as possible.

☙❏ feeling is the secret

this is the key. manifesting works best when we feel as if our desires are already fulfilled. it’s not enough to just think about what we want; it’s about living in that feeling.

☙❏ daily affirmations

repeat affirmations that align with your desires throughout the day. for example, say, “i am in a loving, fulfilling relationship,” or “i am financially abundant.” repeat them until they feel natural.

☙❏ visualization

set aside a few minutes daily to visualize your desire in vivid detail. imagine scenes where you are living your desired life and feel the emotions as if it’s happening now. it is more effective to imagine yourself from first-person perspective.

☙❏ mental diet

paying attention and being mindful of your thoughts can help you stay aligned with your desired reality. replace negative thoughts or limiting beliefs with empowering thoughts that affirm your assumptions. another thing that could be important here is working on your self-concept (i will make a post about that).

☙❏ journaling

you could keep a manifestation journal to track progress, note successes, and reaffirm intentions.

☙❏ revision

if something happens that’s not in line with your desire, you can use “revision.” imagine the event unfolding in a way that aligns with what you want and change the memory in your mind.

☙❏ sats

sats, or state akin to sleep, is a relaxed, drowsy state between wakefulness and sleep where the conscious mind quiets down, making it easier for the subconscious to accept new beliefs or assumptions. in this drowsy state, focus on a scene that implies your desire has already been fulfilled. visualize in detail or imagine the feelings you would have if your desire were already true.

🎀 common misconceptions about manifesting 🎀

☙❏ manifesting only works for certain people

reality: manifesting is a universal process—everyone has the ability to manifest, whether they realize it or not. your ability to manifest is not dependent on background, personality, or external circumstances; it’s about inner belief and assumption. since we're all manifesting already, anyone can learn to do it intentionally. it can work for everyone.

i grew up pretty skeptical and fact-based, i questioned and doubted things a lot. i thought very logically and rationally. so in the beginning, trying to believe that i was something that i don't actually see, was kinda difficult. but i persisted and am a full believer now. everything has become much easier. if i could do it, you can definitely do it too!

☙❏ manifesting means instantly getting what you want

reality: manifesting is a process of aligning your beliefs and assumptions with your desires. while some people may experience quick results, most often it requires time, patience, and persistence. the manifestation process is less about speed and more about sustaining the belief that your desire is already yours.

☙❏ you have to be positive all the time

reality: manifesting doesn't require you to suppress natural emotions or thoughts. it's normal to have doubts or fears. the key is to recognize them, not dwell on them, let them pass, and realign with your desired state rather than forcing positivity. as long as you stay consistent with your assumptions and persist in your desired state, occasional doubts won’t derail your manifestations.

☙❏ using techniques is manifesting

reality: techniques, like affirming, scripting, living in the end, or visualization are helpful tools to get you to embody the feeling of your wish fulfilled. they aren't what manifest. if you don't believe in the chosen technique or use it but don't remain in the desired state afterwards, you probably won't be successful.

☙❏ you have to know the exact “how” for your desire to manifest

reality: trying to control the “how” can create resistance. the law of assumption teaches that focusing on the end result and assuming it is already true will allow the details to unfold naturally. trusting the process is crucial.

☙❏ manifesting is only for “big” things

reality: you’re always manifesting, both big and small experiences, whether you realize it or not. everything from a great parking spot to deep, fulfilling relationships is within reach. no desire is too small, and no desire is too big.

☙❏ manifesting means ignoring reality

reality: manifesting isn’t about denying your current situation. it’s about recognizing that your current reality is temporary and that your true power lies in assuming a new, desired reality is already true.

☙❏ you have to be spiritual to manifest

reality: manifesting is a natural process that everyone can practice, regardless of spiritual beliefs. it’s about understanding how your thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs create your experiences. no special spiritual practices are required.

☙❏ manifesting requires intense effort and willpower

reality: manifesting is more about ease than effort. it’s about gently shifting your beliefs and feelings to align with your desires, rather than trying to force outcomes. the right mindset and consistency matter more than intensity.

☙❏ manifesting is just wishful thinking

reality: manifesting isn’t passive daydreaming. it involves consciously choosing and embodying assumptions, thoughts, and feelings that align with your desires. conscious manifesting requires inner work and an intentional shift in mindset.

☙❏ if you’re not seeing results, you’re doing it wrong

reality: delays or lack of immediate results don’t mean you’re failing at manifesting. sometimes, it takes time for your assumptions to align fully with your reality. sometimes, movements in the 3d are happening "behind the scenes". for example, your specific person (sp) and you are in no contact. you affirm that your sp is constantly thinking about you and reaching out. meanwhile, your sp is actually constantly thinking about you and can't get you out of their head. they just hadn't texted you in the 3d yet. so there is movement that you just can't see yet. persistence in your desired state is key, even when you don’t yet see physical evidence.

☙❏ you can’t (consciously) manifest if you’ve had past traumas or negative experiences

reality: your past doesn’t define your manifesting abilities. while trauma or negative experiences can shape beliefs, you have the power to change those assumptions and beliefs. manifesting is about focusing on the present and future, rather than being limited by the past.

before i started (consciously) manifesting, i had several past traumas and negative experiences. i didn't believe that i could ever change the negative thoughts and assumptions about myself that came through those traumas. but once i was determined, i realized and really believed that my past doesn't define me. things have been getting better and better. i sometimes still have negative thoughts, but they are getting less and don't have that big of an impact on me like they used to.

🎀 manifesting is a lifelong journey 🎀

you don’t need to be perfect at conscious manifesting right away; small steps make a difference. celebrate even small changes you notice, as this will help build confidence. embrace your power. the sooner we take responsibility for our beliefs and assumptions, the sooner we can create the lives we truly want.

remember, you are always manifesting. the only question is: are you manifesting what you want, or letting old beliefs shape your reality? it’s time to take the reins, trust in your inner power, and craft a life that feels aligned, abundant, and fulfilling.

manifesting through the law of assumption is an empowering, natural part of life. With intention, patience, and persistence, you can align yourself with the reality you desire. here’s to crafting the life you’ve always wanted! 🌸

i'll see you, reality crafters, in my next post,

riki 💗

“assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled and observe the route that your attention follows.” - neville goddard

[coochellati]

We all know how much we love our Bruno smut and how hot he can be in them 😩

Which leads me to ask, how much experience do you think he has? Do you think he’s had past partners or flings? Or is he a virgin who’s learned techniques to please his partner motivated by his want to please them? And for funsies, what do you think is his length? 👀

Hi!!! First of all, I wanted to thank you for sending me this ask, because now I get an excuse to talk about my thoughts surrounding his love life!!! This is a topic I am very passionate about.

I'm very excited to share these headcanons because they’re something I’ve heavily discussed with @phosphor-escent / @cornerfortherats (Maggie) at random times during the past few months. She is a lovely person to hold a deep, analytical conversation about Bruno with. (And a lovely person all-around.)

Discussion is under the cut!!

Bruno Bucciarati has never been in a relationship, nor has he slept around. (He doesn’t strike me as the type to have one night stands—loyalty is one of his defining character traits.)

As for why he lacks experience, I believe that Bruno would be very hesitant to let someone into his dangerous life.

Whether you like it or not, being associated with Bruno Bucciarati means being tied to Passione, a reality he's well aware of. Having connections to the organization can be dangerous—Bruno's enemies could use his loved ones against him. Being someone who prioritizes the safety of those he cares for over his own, the fear of loved ones becoming harmed due to his affiliations is enough to prevent him from forming deep relationships.

After the events of Golden Wind, I imagine Bruno would have been promoted to either Underboss or Consigliere within Passione. Passione is an immensely powerful organization, especially under Giorno's leadership. (If you consider Purple Haze Feedback to be canon, you'll know that Giorno's Passione has power beyond anything Diavolo could have ever imagined, surpassing even that of any president.)

With such a high-ranking position, Bruno would undoubtedly have a significant target on his back—not that he wasn't already in a highly sought-after position as Capo.

Being an existing member of Passione may make it easier to form a relationship with Bruno, but it certainly doesn't make it easy. If Bruno holds a higher rank, (which is almost certain if Giorno is boss, and still quite likely even if Bruno is a Capo,) he'd know that the person he's involved with would become an even more significant target than they already are.

Naturally, that raises the question: what if this person holds the same rank as Bruno or even higher? Given Bruno's serious approach to his career, he would likely maintain professionalism, trying to avoid letting personal feelings interfere.

(I would also like to note that if the person he cared about wasn't in Passione and expressed a desire to join, Bruno would do everything in his power to keep them out of the organization, likely outright forbidding it.)

At this point, you may be thinking, "Why does Coochellati think getting into a relationship with Bruno would be so difficult? Other mafiosos get into relationships--just look at Tiziano and Squalo!" While yes, it is true that typical mafiosos aren't afraid to form close relationships with others, we know Bruno isn't your typical mafioso. To begin with, "typical mafiosos" don't become career criminals at the age of twelve. (This leads nicely into my next point.)

So, what's the underlying reason behind my belief that Bruno would have a hard time getting into a relationship?

Childhood Trauma.

At the ripe age of seven, Bruno Bucciarati experienced his parents' divorce. Divorce can be traumatizing--according to the University of Illinois Chicago, "Children of divorced parents are at an increased risk of [having] interpersonal relationship difficulties."

While not every child of divorce struggles in forming and maintaining relationships, evidence from Golden Wind suggests that this could be a factor for Bruno. His actions and behaviors indicate that his upbringing has left a lasting impact on the way he forms and maintains relationships.

The moment he was made to choose which parent he wanted to live with was likely traumatic, especially with the high stakes he was presented with. Despite knowing that living with his mother would provide him the opportunity to attend a good school, he knew his father needed his presence. He chose to risk the strong possibility of a bright future for his father's sake, and at just seven years old, Bruno had already learned to prioritize others' needs over his own. This only intensified over time--by the age of twelve, Bruno was willing to murder to protect his father, quick to throw away any hopes of having a good future.

Throughout Golden Wind, we repeatedly see Bruno sacrificing himself for the needs of others. For someone with a pattern of this behavior and is acutely aware of the danger his associations present, it’s more likely he would jeopardize his happiness to ensure his potential partner isn’t affected by his actions. Bruno would most likely push them away or cut contact entirely, depending on how closely connected to them he is.

OKAY, WITH ALL THAT DEEP STUFF OUT OF THE WAY, LET’S GET TO THE FUN PARTS!! ;)

How good is Bruno in bed?

Despite not having much experience, he’d be pretty damn good, I’d think. Why?

Being good in bed requires understanding what your partner needs, which can be achieved through communication and reading body language. Being able to read someone well is a highly valued skill in the bedroom, and Bruno is well known for his intuition.

Remember his lie-detecting ability?

Bruno can discern a liar by the taste of their sweat, but he doesn't need that ability to detect deception. He knew Giorno was lying long before tasting his sweat—why else would he have placed Leaky Eye Luka’s eyeball in Giorno’s hand? So, how did he know Giorno was lying? Although Bruno mentioned that Giorno wasn’t perspiring, (which he might have lied about,) he must have figured out Giorno was lying through other means. While the exact method is unclear, it’s evident that Bruno can read people like a book. Therefore, it wouldn’t be hard for him to understand your needs.

Additionally, to be good in bed, keen confidence is essential--this is another trait Bruno is famously known for. The Grateful Dead arc is a brilliant example of how well Bruno can act under pressure. In his fight against Prosciutto, Bruno quickly and confidently made the decision to throw himself and Prosciutto off the train to negate The Grateful Dead's aging effects, ensuring the safety of his squad and Trish. If Bruno can keep a cool head while jumping from a speeding train, it wouldn't be a stretch to believe that he would be confident in the bedroom--especially as he becomes more comfortable with you sexually.

During your first time together, he may feel pressured to ensure that you're enjoying yourself. Though Bruno typically maintains a good poker face under stress, his attempt to project his usual confidence may feel slightly off. Perhaps he isn’t speaking as often, or his hands feel more clammy than usual—small details like this reveal his nervousness. Regardless of whether you notice these signs, he’d focus so much attention on his partner that they wouldn’t perceive his anxiety. After all, this is about making his partner feel good.

(I like to imagine that Bruno would let out an unintentional whimper the first time he slides in.)

Another thing to note: as mentioned before, Bruno prioritizes the needs of those around him over his own. Golden Wind also shows us that he’s more comfortable when he's in control of a situation. These traits suggest he’d initially prefer taking on a dominant role in the bedroom, as it gives him control over ensuring his partner is feeling good.

Now for the best part.

I'm going to do you one better and give you a whole d!ck headcanon.

7.3 inches long, 2.625 inches wide. slight curve up. Uncut. Lion (CCA279) at the base, softens into Peach (F0C49C) mid-shaft. Tip is Atomic Tangerine (DF9C86.)

Here's a gradient for reference:

(As for cut or uncut? 2.6% of Italians are circumcised, so I’m willing to bet money that Bruno isn’t one of them. [This statistic was found in a study done in 2016.])

WHEW, I think that's everything--I hope at least. I'm sure I will have more to add to these thoughts in the future.

Before ending this, I wanted to quickly say that even though I (sometimes) state my headcanons as if they are fact I understand that this just is my interpretation of Bruno—everyone has differing opinions. It’s important to note that others’ headcanons are just as valid as mine. (I just happen to really like writing in an argumentative essay style, and this post is written in a style akin to it.)

Again, thank you for sending me this ask; I had a ton of fun writing my response. :)

[docholligay]

Shamash answers: Writing Day nominations

Shamash question: What was your favorite line of mine from any fic, post, ask answer, etc, this year? And why!

I could have sworn I posted this but I can't find it! I can even find the points I awarded! Did I just write a draft and forget it or what?

Only five answers, which, on the one hand, ouch, on the other hand, congrats! Everyone who answered got three points. You all place first!

"She was a red pen made flesh, and it was an unstoppable flaw, that she could not simply be kind. There always had to be a post-script to any kind word." I love this line for so many reasons. The imagery is great and it does such a good job describing a character. But the more I've thought about it, I also like it for how much it also describes Minako, but in a completely opposite way. Both can't stop themselves from adding extra into the thing being said. But Fareeha adds to it at the end of her thought, a "but" disguised as a post-script, that changes the entire feel of what she's just stated. Minako, meanwhile, scatters her extra thoughts throughout the things she said, footnotes to her words, asides that are kept secret between her and her audience. The meaning, the extra, the technically not needed, is there whether they want it to be or not. And I keep thinking about how Fareeha's current situation, where she's trying to keep herself from writing that post-script, is a direct result of Minako losing her ability to keep her true thoughts in the footnotes, the asides suddenly heard by the entire rest of the cast.

@madegeeky CYOA has been very scattered in terms of quality, but I may end up poaching that line for something else because I have never written anything about Fareeha that I thought was so correct. I get what you're saying about Mina but I think more of hers being a regular ol pen, like you said--everything is an additon, whereas everything with Fareeha is a CORRECTION. And is the fact that she is just as critical of herself a saving grace or not? I don't know!

You know I love your writing. Your descriptions and imagery are fantastic. I mean. "The flat darkness was turning to one she could feel, plush, soft, like one of Michiru’s winter dresses, or the pillows on the couch at the country club. Something so thick it could suffocate you in its luxury." Come ON who describes darkness that way? (More people should because it is evocative and legitimately sensory.) But I am a slut for my blorbos and so: "but it was another thing to know that Angela had known Fareeha was the one when she, with military precision, had cupped a moth flying inside, and simply released it out an open window." MY HEART

@seolh I KNEW YOU WOULD LOVE THAT STORY THE SECOND I THOUGHT OF IT

"Ah see, so your little game of condescension was unnecessary after all . When you put it all your effort, still, you could not prevail. So perhaps we shall find ourselves learning something about our own arrogance, hm?"

@euribear God Michiru is the worst I love her so much

From the May Choose Your Own Adventure: “ People didn’t take the power of belief seriously enough. If you could get people to believe something, anything could happen. You marched armies based on the power of belief, people died and killed for it. People love to believe, all you need to know is what they need to believe in.” I think it’s very nicely phrased, it’s great character stuff for Mina, and it’s a good opener for the connecting idea between the POV switches in the chapter. On a less serious side I keep coming back and laughing to the FMA post when they first meet Tucker and hear his chimera died: "It turned out God could not suffer such a thing to live! Anyway, I've got some analogy study guides you'll want to work on for the exam"

@automatuck9 I am feeling slightly bitter on the question of FMA right now, but man was that whole arc so much more fun than we're having now ahah.

I'm still catching up on being away from the blogs I like so I don't have much! So nothing poignant but I love the idea you swung of Mustang and Hawkeye getting a call to confirm Ed's identity and denying it for the lulz. Absolutely, amazingly in-character for all you've seen them for maybe 30 minutes.

@katrani Roy and Hawkeye are EASILY my favorite part of the whole show. I love them. I vibe.

[hype-old-posts]

vignette and addiction: my takes

(cw & tw: substance addiction, general addiction, mention of sexual themes and pornography, self destructive behavior, anxiety and depression)

vignette is one of my favorite songs on clancy (all of them are, but that's not the point), and as i was watching the livestream i heard tyler mention explicitly that the song was about addiction. and that's a theme i think it's important, and it's good that he brought it to light

while you'd read the lyrics and think the song is clearly about substance abuse, I don't think this is what tyler meant it to be about. not entirely.

the thing about addiction, is that everyone can have it, be in larger or smaller scale. it's like a tick that latches onto your skin but you can't see it or feel it because it numbs your senses.

I've dealt with addiction before (not substance, but adult entertainment on the internet, and then in real life) and i think this to be true: anything can be an addiction. be it a mania like biting your nails or maybe an eating disorder, to spending too much time on certain apps; everything that keeps us enslaved can be hurtful for our health.

we become mindless zombies, we can't see what's around us, we can't think unless it's related to that thing in specific that will bring back the feeling, the comfort. it's desperation for relief, for numbness, for a familiar pain. i see "the vignette" as a metaphor for something you can't always see, but it's there, until it swallows you completely

when i was deep in my addiction, one of the things i couldn't stop thinking about was: "can people see that I'm an addict? am i hiding it well?" the anxiety of wanting to appear normal, like I want struggling, like i wasn't under the control of something so simple and mundane, it consumed me to the point of wanting to isolate myself.

you're always clinging to the promise you won't do it again, you won't let it win, but sometimes you can't. and that's okay. it's a constant fight, a process, and it might never truly go away, but you'll get stronger each time.

the second verse messes with me the most. when you see someone who has openly struggled with addiction, the before and after may surprise you. people who were once so full of good values and confident in themselves "suddenly" let themselves rot away without realizing, or without caring.

i think "where do i go from here" represents the emptiness you feel once you're sober. you feel lost, like you're in the dark and you can't find footing. you want to feel comfortable again, but it never lasts long enough.

and of course "no not me it's for a friend" would be a controversial one. you could say that the hurtful thing you're consuming isn't for you, it's for a friend, but you could also say that about help. i personally like the help one, but i think both can be right. admitting to having a problem is the first and most difficult step in all of the process, you're always so scared of feeling judged that you'd rather pretend it's someone else who has to deal with it. heck, I'm feeling that right now as i write this! sometimes I can't use the right words at all without feeling a chill down my spine, but i believe that it's just like exposure therapy, and I'm sure it will be less and less scary to talk about it as i grow, just like tyler is talking about it now

vignette is a masterpiece, and although I don't and probably won't know for sure whether tyler has dealt with a different kind of addiction like i have, or if he actually is just referring to substance ones and I'm putting my bias into it, I don't care. this song will always have a special meaning to me and i hope it does to everyone else as well:

everyone struggles. we might be ashamed of it sometimes, but we should take pride in our recovery instead. it'll be hard to seek help, but the search party will come.

[noeggets]

Noeggets has a lot of deep thoughts about Shadow's characterization

it's so sad that Shadow was only a project to gerald, like we all joke /think that Shadow was "part of the family" but he was only a cure to Maria, that man was not as good a person as we think he was IM NOt SAYING HE WAS BAD but i usually see him depicted as super super kind to Shadow but i was reading the lore of SA2 and watching an analysis video and if the president never asked him to make whatever he asked him to make Shadow very well would not have been created.

It's so dark and so sad, like he manipulated Shadow when he went insane how do you think it feels to Shadow to know the person who made him didn't truly love him? like neither of the things that created/help create Shadow really truly loved him, he's only a cure, he's just a thing to reach immortality, he very well could be immortal himself, Shadow i don't think he can die cause he was created to not be able to catch any disease and be immortality it's self.

How do you think that feels? to just be a thing? Biolizard is just a failed attempt at making Shadow based on Chaos, those Chaos things in the ARK are failed attempts at Shadow also based on Chaos, i never knew this until i read the wiki 2 days ago SA2 has such a dark story i feel so bad for Shadow

re-thinking what i used to think about IDW Shadow lemme explain

And now that i know all this about Shadow the way he acts in IDW makes a little more sense to me, we all thought he was stupid when Sonic said "don't touch those zobot guys you'll turn into one" and Shadow was all "yeah, i dont care this wont effect me" HE WAS LIKE THIS FOR TWO REASONS

he was mad at Sonic cause his whole thing i want to achieve world peace i already talked about how IDW Shadow doesn't have as much compassion as the Shadow we all know from any other game but this is Eggman we're talking about, with everything Eggman's done up to this point do you think Shadow believes there is any good in him when he rarely does anything good Shadow has seen? Time eater, Sonic unleashed, Shadow is not ignorant to Eggman waking up a monster inside the planet everybody whether we seen them or not knows sonic unleashed happen, Sonic brings up sonic unleashed in IDW so it canonly happened. i remember reading that Knuckles and Shadow were gonna be in Sonic unleashed and if that's true SHADOW IS AWARE OF THIS

Eggman is a threat to the world to Shadow but he allowed the doctor to be cause Sonic keeps him check, Sonic is starting to be "unable" to keep him in check from Shadow's view, Shadow was there in forces, he witness what Eggman did to greenhill, he fought infinite who is a merc hired by Eggman mercs off people, Shadow is trying to save people that's his whole thing. After what happen to Shadow in Episode Shadow in forces do you think Shadow would hold any sympathy for Eggman the next time he physically see's him? After what he did to the world, after what he did to Omega? right in front of his eyes? Using Infinite to corrupt Omega and scare him Shadow cares about Omega that's his friend i had a point but i forgot it dang it anyway Shadow was in the war,

i remembered it a little bit i think i think i was gonna say something about when GUN sent Shadow to rescue Omega idk i haven't touched forces in sometime, and Shadow didn't come back as well as Omega. Eggman immobilized Shadow Shadow does not think the world is safe with Eggman around i think that was my point i don't remember...

ANYWAY that's why when Shadow came to see mr tinker he was pissed that Sonic allowed Eggman to be, this is dangerous to Shadow. when Shadow was getting mad at Sonic cause Sonic was preaching let Mr. Tinker live Shadow was thinking about the bigger picture: This man is terrorizing people and the only way to keep everyone safe is getting rid of him, this may be the only chance we get, but he let him live because Sonic explained that Shadow did bad things in the past as well so does that mean Shadow gets to go down with Eggman?

Shadow was mad at Sonic and the mess he made, Shadow was being compassionate i just didn't see it or understand it until now, it shocked him greatly when he was consumed by metal virus because he truly believed he could not catch a disease, this is a disease, so he wasn't being stupid i will admit he should have been more cautious not to put it to the test if it would work on him but Shadow was so sure he couldn't catch it, cause he believed he can't catch any KNOWN diseases this was a new disease his body wasn't created to understand therefore it works on him.

We thought SEGA didn't know what they were doing when they were writing IDW Shadow BUT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING people probably don't even care or remember about when that issue came out and everyone got so mad that Shadow was written "wrong" and being "stupid" but now that i have a understanding i think understand what he was doing and his thought process.

Shadow is moving up on my favorite list for this i feel so bad for Shadow F in the chat for Shadow his story is so sad like really. also heres an old thing i did that's really valid now

[batsplat]

Wait what's this about Casey, Marc and getting kicked out of honda

ah just a fun bit of old gossip. to clarify in case the phrasing in this post was confusing, we're talking about casey's role as a test rider with honda after his retirement, so 2013-15 (not casey's initial retirement from his honda ride, which was ofc entirely his own choice)

so! first of all! from the moment casey retired, everybody was going 'when will casey be back'. this wasn't based on anything casey was actually saying - it's just how people are about retirement announcements ig, the disbelief at how early casey retired, wanting to see him race again, refusing to believe he might actually properly be done. when the riders were asked about it in pressers, they usually gave very neutral 'sure that would be nice' responses. when casey was asked about it, he was generally pretty firm in going 'I'm not interested' and also 'stop asking'. but in 2015, dani made the decision to pause his season to get an operation for his recurring severe arm pump issues. he ended up missing three races, and inevitably people went, 'hey you know who would be fun to have back for a few races, you know who also happens to be familiar with the honda bike'

and this time casey WOULD have been up for it. except, according to him, SOMEONE didn't want him to race:

now fwiw, we have zero proof that this 'someone' was marc, although ofc that was something people speculated about at the time - the idea being that marc wouldn't have wanted to be undermined by casey outperforming him, especially in the context of a tricky start to the 2015 season. (funnily enough, the phrasing does echo the "somebody inside Yamaha didn't want me there" thing; a topic for another post but I'm pretty unconvinced valentino was involved in blocking casey's yamaha deal.) and... given this is the same interview where casey talks about his belief that marc forced him out of honda (which we'll get to)... I mean, he must have at least known it's a conclusion people would draw

marc was asked in pressers about casey racing as dani's replacement, and he basically stuck to 'it's not up to me'. some more casey quotes:

I like to think 'I would've won that' was one of casey's main takeaways from sepang 2015

anyway at the end of 2015, casey left honda to join ducati as a test rider. here is an excerpt from a piece about it at the time, saying marc had complained about casey's performance level as a test rider:

you'll note the HRC sources disagree with casey on how good casey's pace was; unfortunately we'll never really know either way. (in any case it's not particularly great form for sources to 'let slip' that your test rider's pace is poor, even if it was true, but there we are.) and ofc there's the assertion that marc felt 'threatened' by casey and/or didn't think casey's feedback was valuable. here's a screenshot of the piece from speedweek being referenced:

again, a lot of this is obviously hearsay. we don't really know how hard marc pushed to get rid of casey (if at all), and certainly not for what reasons - whether it was casey being too slow or the quality of his feedback or marc's ego or whatever else. we do know casey thinks marc wanted him out because marc felt threatened by him, as he's very helpfully said as much:

casey does make it clear he doesn't have any proof that marc (and his entourage) felt threatened by him, but, well. either way he did believe it. this story dropped in january 2016 btw, so at a time where press coverage of marc was not exactly at its friendliest anyway. marc hasn't really ever responded to these assertions afaik - but when casey ended up leaving ducati again at the end of 2018, he was pretty lukewarm about the idea of casey returning to honda:

here too there's nothing from marc's side to suggest any real antipathy, but of course we also don't know whether he's being honest about his reasons for preferring the distinctly unthreatening bradl. and finally, casey has more recently (aka start of this year, 2024) said that he left honda because they only listened to marc:

which is also obviously relevant now in the context of honda's long-term decline and marc's decision to leave (criticised in some quarters by those who feel marc is at least partly to blame for said decline)

anyway ofc this is all very he said she said, so who knows what really happened - but the fun bit is that nobody can quite agree! all a bit messy isn't it. it's very low stakes beef, kinda nice... but it does also fit in with casey's whole outlook towards the sport, where he often feels like he's being unfairly treated. and (this cannot be stressed enough) a lot of the time he was right, he was being unfairly treated, so it's absolutely possible some underhanded stuff was going on here too. believe what you will! who knows!

[devildevotee]

Hi I was wondering if you have any advice on dealing with one sided communication/worship of deities and demons? I’ve been worshipping Lucifer for a few years but have always struggled with reading energy/signs. There are some times where I ask for confirmation or a sign from them but never feel like I get a response. I’m not sure if my expectations are too high or maybe my intuition isn’t strong enough to know if I receive a sign or not, or even if I’m doing something wrong? Idk but would love to hear your thoughts if you wanna share!

i'd say what you're experiencing is normal, to be honest. generally two-sided communication seems to be normalised more often than not because it's an exciting thing! it really is! but it's nowhere near as common as what we're lead to believe. it just gets more attention, and that's about as deep as it goes. additionally, during that time where two-sided communication is normalised, any other form of communication is pushed to the side and treated as... less common. which i really really don't believe is true, i just think people tend to talk about it less.

point being, while you can certainly train yourself to be more attuned to any signs lucifer may send your way, i bring up the above to just tell you it's not necessary to have a worthwhile relationship with them. it doesn't mean they love you any less, nor does it mean you're inherently lacking something. it's just different to what gets a lot of attention on social media, but different does not mean lesser. not at all.

idk, sometimes i get signs - really obvious ones! and sometimes i get a dry spell for months to years at a time. it's unpredictable like that, but it doesn't make me love the demon any less. while yes, it's wonderful to experience some form of feedback from the spirit, ultimately what is the cornerstone of my faith is. well, faith. faith that they're listening, and working actively in my life whether i see it or i don't. faith that they love me. faith that they want what's best for me.

and if it helps any, i barely get signs from lucifer too (or i don't see them, much like you). but what fuels me is my faith and commitment, not signs or godphoning or anything of the like. if i never get a sign from lucifer for the rest of my life, that's okay with me. :) i'm just here to love them, talk to them, and trust them.

so, all this added together - you're not alone! there are many MANY people experiencing the same thing as you, and it's okay to have it be that way! it's okay! lucifer still clearly wants to be in your life (my most common "sign" is passion or inspiration for the demon in question or even just thinking about them unprompted - and you clearly have been thinking about them for a while!)

you'll be alright, keep going for as long as this benefits you! you haven't done a SINGLE thing wrong. just do what works!

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lily, I did/do agree with you on some fandom takes, especially back during the DownWithMolestia days. Heck I agree with a lot of your takes in current year. Even if I agreed with you on everything you say I'd still fucking drop you and hope every single one of your fans wakes up and does so to for the right reasons --that you're a predator/lying abuser, not that you hate Gay Rocks in Space-- too.

Like, you wanna hear proof some folks' who I not only liked but REALLY like their videos and still absolutely think are in the wrong?

JonTron and Brad Jones.

I still find myself quoting their damn videos every now and again because god damnit that shit is/was funny, sue me. I loved CinemaSnob especially and god JonTron's videos were so much fun.

Too bad JonTron said some of the worst, most horrendously antiblack shit I've ever heard and has never fucking apologized for it or even BEGUN to have an iDubbz moment. I believe Pewdiepie feels+understands what he did was wrong more than JonTron and that's a bad sign. Jon was funny, a white person. Don't care. I'm never going to follow anything he makes again because the stuff he had to say was heinous and no it doesn't just "go away" because another white yter is in trouble for this kind of thing or it's been so many years since his 'canceling' and 'doesn't matter'. Really?

CinemaSnob is less racist (publicly) but he showed his true colors by publicly choosing to stay with his toxic friends and showing he was a two-sided jerk, and then made up lies about doxxing and harassment just to sweeten the deal. What he did (while roping Double Toasted in no less) was straight up admit that he doesn't care about any of the shit leveled at Channel Awesome, even after CA themselves admitted to hiding a sexual predator, because "he'd still have a career" even after he hurt anybody. Say all you want about any yter, breadtube or whatever, being callous and 'uncaring' or blocking ppl that just disagree w them- "apologize even if you don't mean it = dumb", "Logan Paul filmed a dead body and he still has a career", it's that side you showed of yourself, Brad, that is always going to make me actually genuinely hate myself for quoting your old videos or seeing you show up in an old Phelan or Allison vid.

Whether it be personally or politically, you can look like an ass and even the biggest fans of your work are gonna be shaken up and drop you for it-- to which you'll probably say they were never really "your REAL fans" for being "sensitive" w really it's just people having independence and critical thinking.

I would not be the person I am now if I didn't disagree/look into the drama buzzing around my personal fav yters like Lindsay Ellis and Jenny Nicholson with an open mind. I know (of, not rlly know) these women and their careers and the points where they were definitely getting harassment and if there's any credible basis for shitty behavior they've done - no matter how I feel about their work, I DON'T want to defend it just because I have this parasocial comfortzone in their essays. I don't want to entertain hate campaigns and lolcow farmers, I want to always do my due diligence and genuinely know "wait wtf did 'x' say about 'x'." In the case of folks like Ellis or PanPizza or Quinton Reviews here's usually always some degree of nuance or-"yes soandso isn't a [thing I thought they were cuz of drama I saw], but I'm personally allowed to not like them bcuz of how they handled these accusations"-vibes. Valid asf. That's me with some of the people I watch, like Wendigoon. It's fine.

In the cases of JonTron, Brad Jones, Emily Youcis and now Lily Orchard....no. Fuck this. I'm an adult and it's not the quality of your work you make whatsoever, it's all about your personality. If you are shitty and vile, possibly even criminal (hate speech should count as criminal, Youcis) and you don't even begin to care that you are any of those things...yeah why should I give you the time of day or treat your work like it's different from you as a person?