#coochellati’s headcanons ♡

[coochellati]

Living With Bruno - Headcanons

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing okay. These past 24 hours have been rough for those affected by American politics.

In the name of comfort and escapism, I’ve been imagining what living with Bruno would look like. For instance—What does Bruno do in his spare time? What does his house look like? Is he a neat person? (spoiler alert: he definitely is.) And what is he like behind closed doors?

I’ll be diving into these questions (and more!) under the break!

Bruno lives in his modest childhood home by the sea, and he hasn’t changed much of the furniture or decor since his parents decorated it. Almost everything is as it was when he was a kid—it gives him a sense of comfort.

During the day, he loves to let the salty sea breeze in through open windows. At night, the lighting feels warm and inviting. Bruno is mindful of energy costs; he only uses lights when needed. Candlelight often fills the home after dark, adding a cozy ambiance. Bruno Bucciarati is a neat person, so his home is impeccably kept.

Bruno spends most of his time in his living room, partly because it’s where his record player lives. It sits between two speakers on top of a waist-high bookshelf in his living room that holds his impressive record collection, including genres such as jazz, prog rock, classical, and more. (He has a whole section dedicated to Miles Davis.) He’s added a desk to the room so he can work while listening to his vinyls. On the wall hangs one of his father’s old fishing nets, a reminder of the vow he made to his father to fight against drugs.

His childhood bedroom is mostly unchanged, having the same furniture and arrangement as when he was young. A small bookshelf holds the stories his mother used to read to him, and pictures of his parents rest on his nightstand.

His parents’ bedroom remains as it was when his father passed. Besides keeping it clean, Bruno hasn’t altered a thing in there, finding something almost sacred in its preservation.

Bruno’s also got a pretty decent wine collection stashed in the cellar, with some expensive, rare bottles. Being careful with money, he rarely splurges on high-end wine, so most of these rare bottles were gifts.

(I headcanon that Bruno is passionate about wine. If you’re interested in hearing about why I believe this, here’s a link to this post.)

Bruno Bucciarati definitely uses his walls for storage.

Before moving in, Bruno will chat with you about your needs. For instance, do you have any allergies? Do you have sensitive skin and need to use special laundry detergent? Are there certain foods you won’t eat? His home is now your home—he wants to make sure you’re comfortable.

Bruno may not be a fan of PDA, but behind closed doors, he isn’t shy about showing affection. Whether it be a peck on the cheek, warm smiles, hand-holding, cuddling to Miles Davis, etc., Bruno is always happy to be close to you. (This goes without saying, but he loves when you reciprocate!)

You might often catch Bruno watching you with quiet admiration. For example, he lets you get ready for bed first so he can just observe you—it’s his way of reminding himself that he now has someone to come home to. For him, it’s like gazing at a winning lottery ticket.

However, like many people, there are moments when Bruno needs his personal space. (Especially if he’s very stressed or it’s work-related.) After all, everyone needs some alone time now and then, and he’ll do his best to let you know ahead of time. Don’t worry about upsetting him if you need to see him during this time—Bruno would never be mad about it. He’ll also reassure you there’s nothing wrong with your relationship if it’s something you need to hear.

Everyone has their flaws, and communication isn’t something Bruno is always the best about. He tends to keep stressful things to himself, to “shoulder the burden,” so to speak. In his mind, he believes he’s protecting you, but this can lead to him acting in unpredictable ways that only make sense if you have the full story.

For instance—remember when Trish asked Narancia why Bruno was such a cold person?

Bruno had a reason for his behavior, as he was close to death. But without knowing the entire story, Trish saw him as cold and uncaring. This is exactly the kind of misunderstanding I’m talking about—without context, Bruno’s actions can give the wrong impression.

Afterward, Narancia told to Trish that this was just how Bruno behaved, and she would understand if she got to know him better. While this dynamic of unexplained behavior may work in a subordinate-leader relationship, this isn’t the type of relationship you and Bruno have. Seeing you happy and safe is what matters most to him, but he doesn’t always go about it in the best way.

Communication is something the two of you may have to work through together.

As noted, Bruno is a neat person. Keeping everything clean and organized helps him stay focused and level-headed. On his days off, he keeps up with chores so his place stays in top shape—he also finds it calming.

Laundry and Ironing are two chores he doesn’t mind doing. Bruno takes great pride in the way he dresses so taking care of his clothes is very important to him. He also happens to be very good at removing stains. (Wearing white clothes regularly will force you to get good at it.) Like many Italians, Bruno doesn’t own a washer or dryer. This means everything gets washed by hand and hung outside to dry. (No need to splurge when you can do your laundry yourself.) Because clothes get stiff when air dried, Bruno irons everything, including socks, underwear, and towels. (This isn’t uncommon in Italy either.)

Bruno is quite skilled at cooking, a talent he developed while caring for his father. (He’s also picked up tips from Polpo’s unsolicited rants about food.) On the topic of cooking, Bruno tends to be big on meal prep, given that he doesn’t always have the time or energy to cook after a long day at work. Therefore, I can see him making a comical amount of food at once to store for later. You’ll walk in and the kitchen table looks like this:

If there’s one chore Bruno doesn’t enjoy, it’s taking out the trash. At first, I thought he’d have it easy because of the fact he could “zipper” it away inside the ground, but as stated to Trish inside Coco Jumbo, he has no idea where things go when he does that—probably best not to risk littering underground.

Bruno is very good about keeping clean. Every morning starts with a cold shower, which he enjoys for the mental clarity and alertness it brings. He’s happy to let you join him if he isn’t in a time constraint, and upon doing so, he’ll adjust the water temperature to something more suited to your preference. (Since he takes cold showers, he’s fine with pretty much any temperature as long as it isn’t scalding.)

If you end up showering with him, expect it to take a while. ;) (Especially if he has nothing going on that day.) His hands gently grazing your sides, he’ll likely start by asking if he can wash you. If you say yes, he’ll begin to gently and meticulously wash every part of you with an awestruck expression gracing his face. (“How did I get so lucky?” He’ll wonder.)

Araki designed Bruno with shiny, meticulously styled hair, which suggests to me that Bruno puts effort into caring for his hair. Healthy hair isn’t just good genes—Bruno goes a little further than just using shampoo and conditioner to maintain it. For instance, he definitely uses leave-in conditioner and hair oil. I can also see him using a hairdryer to blow out his hair and give it that perfect bob shape.

It’s impressive how fast Bruno can get ready for the day, considering all that goes into his daily styling. (You should see how fast he can braid his hair.) It takes him about 16-17 minutes to get ready, 10 more if he has to dry his hair.

Bruno finishes his routine with a few spritzes of cologne.

Around the house, Bruno dresses casually—no need for a fancy suit if no one’s around to see it. However, he will dress up if he’s expecting a visitor.

Sleeping next to you makes Bruno realize how fucking stressed he is all the time. His lifestyle/career has turned him into someone who is constantly hyper-vigilant, so it’s no wonder that Bruno is a very light sleeper. (That, plus the trauma from the night two intruders tried to kill Bruno’s dad while his dad was asleep. ) On his own, he tends to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night, but when he sleeps next to you, he usually stays asleep.

The best part about sleeping next to Bruno? He doesn’t really snore, possibly thanks to being a side sleeper. He also sleeps in pajamas, just in case he has to get up quickly. (Imagine being caught naked as intruders walk into your bedroom.)

I imagine Bruno uses the same bed he did as a kid. Therefore, I bet it is the Italian equivalent of a full-sized bed. This bed size has always worked for him, though he’d likely get a larger one if a partner moved in.

(You really can’t tell the size of the bed from the photo. It could very well be a twin instead of a full.)

Bruno typically starts his mornings bright and early at 6:30 am. He usually aims for about seven hours of sleep, going to bed around 11 p.m. or midnight, though it’s not unusual to see him working until 1 or 2 a.m. (So yeah… he never really gets enough sleep.)

In his downtime, Bruno likes to unwind with a book or by listening to records with a glass of wine—though these moments don’t happen as often as they should since he’s a bit of a workaholic.

Sometimes, he’ll take a walk to the shore where his dad used to dock and sit for a while. He finds it comforting—this is one way he feels he can stay connected to his dad.

Thank you for reading!!! this was super fun to write! I hope this post was able to provide you some comfort 💕

[coochellati]

Would Bruno be calm, cool and collected or extremely neurotic and high strung if their partner is pregnant?? Asking for scientific purposes.

Hii!!!!!! I’d be happy to help with your “scientific research!”

Short answer: Bruno would be pretty high-strung, despite doing his best to remain cool and collected.

While rare, there are moments in Vento Aureo that show Bruno can freak out—take this panel, for example:

Here, you can see his real feelings seeping out of him. While he may not have entirely lost his composure in this high-pressure situation, it's still clear he's stressed. It makes sense, after all, because he is on a time crunch—the train is leaving within the next minute, and he still hasn’t figured out what to do with the key. Additionally, if he doesn’t get this right, the safety of Trish and his team could be in jeopardy.

While reflecting upon this topic, I’ve noticed something about Bruno's ability to remain calm--it mostly comes into play when he’s facing off against an enemy. Moments that emotionally influence him in major ways, such as when he finds out about what Diavolo plans to do to his daughter or when he learns about the drugs Passione is peddling, are moments when he cracks. The thought of an incoming baby would impact him in the same way.

While pregnant, his partner will notice that Bruno is more jumpy than usual. Bruno will also be there for his partner at the drop of a dime (unless he’s preoccupied with something big—like a life-threatening situation at work), trying to make them as comfortable as possible. 2 am cravings? He's on it!

At work, Bruno’s coworkers will notice that he’s more touchy, especially the members of Team Bucciarati. (After all, they know Bruno best.) Sure, there are times when Bruno will act like his normal self, but the more stressful aspects of his job will cause him to lash out more like he was prone to doing in the latter half of Vento Aureo. Those around him will understand—Bruno is just anxious about the baby.

Many thoughts about his childhood will circle his head during this time, leading him to worry over his ability to be a good parent. He wants to raise his children in a home with a healthy family dynamic and give them the opportunities he never had, such as providing a good education. During his partner's pregnancy, he often thinks of his past and how he wants to give the same love to his children that his dad gave him. He also worries if this is something he’ll be able to give his children, given his line of work. As tough as it would be for him, he might even consider leaving Passione to focus on being there for his children.

Another reason Bruno feels insecure about being a suitable parent is that his upbringing was far from normal--before his partner's pregnancy, he hadn't given too much thought to his childhood, so when he finally sits back and reflects upon his past, it'll crush him when he realizes how fucked up it was. The way Bruno had to defend and take care of his father during his childhood was something that never should have happened to him, and as the baby's due date approaches, he realizes that he doesn’t want his kid to worry about him the way he worried for his late father. He'll do anything to keep his kids from experiencing a rough upbringing like his own.

thanks for the ask!!!! <3

[coochellati]

dont be shy give us more sub!bruno hcs 👉👈

Why of course you can!! Ho could I say no when you’ve included such a devious Blumoji???

I’ve got even better news for you: guess what. I didn’t just give you some headcanons. Nope—I also wrote a little smut fic to go along with these. Ehehehehe I hope you enjoy it ;)

Without further ado…

Submissive Bruno Headcanons!!!

Bruno Bucciarati enjoys giving up control. It's a nice change of pace--the idea of relinquishing his authority to this partner is exciting.

He’s unabashedly vocal. This man is not afraid to let you know exactly how he's feeling, holding nothing back.

At first, he may try to put on a sly act, wearing a smug poker face while he tells you, "Try me." Even though he's usually phenomenal at keeping calm and collected, getting dominated by you is one of the few things that will make him break. It's almost jarring how quickly he crumbles apart in the bedroom, rapidly deteriorating into a trembling, breathy mess.

He’ll let you restrain him--he enjoys bondage. True, he could easily escape using Sticky Fingers, but he doesn't even try.

Bruno loves it when you play with his stand; the phantom sensations drive him nuts. He derives a lot of pleasure from watching you.

He likes being overstimulated, and you can actually make him cry if he’s overstimulated enough. It's pretty easy to achieve this by pleasuring him and his stand at the same time.

He also enjoys edging. 'Nuff said.

He whimpers whenever he’s orgasmed a lot.

[coochellati]

Hi! How is it going, I hope you are doing well ❤️This is not a deep question but what kind of drink/s do you think Bruno would most enjoy and ones he would avoid (alcoholic or not)? He looks like someone that would enjoy limoncello a lot for example but I can't see him being a beer guy.

Hi!!! Good to hear from you!! Thank you for checking in; all things considered, I’m doing well right now!

Ooh, this is a fun question… Funnily enough, I’ve given quite a bit of thought to this in the past. Buckle up, because I’ve got a bunch of beverage headcanons for you!

Without further ado, here’s my take… (under the break)

I imagine Bruno isn’t a huge drinker when it comes to alcohol. (As you said, he’s definitely not a beer guy.) Most of the time, he prefers to keep a sharp, clear mind, ready for whatever may come his way. That said, it doesn’t stop him from appreciating a good glass of wine. Wine is such a key part of Italian culture that it’s hard to picture Bruno not enjoying it. (In fact, I headcanon that Bruno is actually pretty passionate about the subject of wine—we’ll get to that in a bit.) He drinks it for the taste rather than the effect it gives.

(Figure 1: Bruno having wine.)

Because he doesn’t usually like being inebriated, he limits himself to small amounts—typically just a glass with a meal. On days off, however, he may enjoy a bit more wine than he usually does. Even though Bruno enjoys red wine, I feel like he leans more toward white wine, with a special fondness for sparkling varieties. He’s not a huge fan of a ton of fizz, though, so he goes for older sparkling wines where the bubbles have softened a bit.

I like to think Bruno has a good understanding of wine, largely thanks to Polpo’s influence. Whether he wanted to or not, Bruno surely picked up knowledge from Polpo, who, being the foodie he is, likely gave plenty of unsolicited lectures about wine. Bruno absorbed more than enough to discuss things like aging processes or which years produced the best vintages.

I also imagine Bruno’s interest in wine began because of Polpo’s constant ramblings. It’s not that Bruno had negative feelings toward wine before meeting him; he probably just didn’t think much of it, especially as a twelve-year-old. I can picture Polpo launching into a long-winded explanation about wine or food before delivering some important assignment with Bruno thinking, “If it were really important, you wouldn’t spend this much time talking about wine.”

But that forced exposure grew into genuine interest, and now Bruno has become passionate about it. Picture him excitedly sharing wine facts with a partner or someone he cares about, then catching himself mid-sentence and apologizing for rambling. (He’ll think back to his conversations with Polpo and wonder if he’s overstepping his boundaries.) But, of course, his partner reassures him that it’s okay. I like to think Bruno tends to ramble about things he’s passionate about since he didn’t have much chance to express his interests growing up. So, when he gets the chance, he dives in a bit too deep, almost by accident.

He probably has a decent collection of wines with a few rare or expensive bottles. However, Bruno isn’t the type to splurge, so most of the high-end bottles were likely gifts. He saves them for special occasions.

Now that you bring it up, I can also see Bruno being a limoncello drinker. I’ve never had it before, but it looks pretty good. Based on its description, I too think Bruno would like it.

As for coffee, I imagine Bruno enjoys espresso—or “caffé,” as Italians call it. It’s not an everyday thing, but when he does indulge, it’s usually a plain shot of espresso. (Occasionally, he treats himself to a caffé latte or cappuccino.) He avoids drinking too much, as he doesn’t like the jittery feeling caffeine can bring. If he’s close with someone, he’d probably prefer sipping from their coffee rather than ordering his own.

Bruno doesn’t strike me as someone who’d enjoy soda (or pop, depending on where you’re from). As mentioned, he’s not fond of fizzy drinks, and soda is not only fizzy but also loaded with calories, which wouldn’t appeal to him.

When asking @cornerfortherats this question to see her take on this ask, she wrote that she could also see him enjoying “Iced tea and those sugar-free mix drinks. (Think like kool-aid. Particularly the blue raspberry one.) In my mind, he buys the really weird flavored ones to try for fun because they’re relatively cheap and on occasion his reaction is just this:”

(I really like this headcanon too.)

Of course, Bruno drinks plain water too. He knows how important it is to stay hydrated and tries to keep up with it. But, with how busy he is, it’s not unusual for him to forget sometimes.

Thank you for the ask! This question was super fun to answer! <3

[coochellati]

Hi! Could you share some favorite Bruno headcanons? Love your blog ❤️

Aweee, thank you so much!! ❤️

Of course!! Here’s a list!! :)

My Favorite Bruno Headcanons!!

He’s got a tan line on his chest from his suit! Lingerie!Bruno also has tan lines from the lace. 😭

Bruno takes pride in his grooming habits. He’s got a whole skincare routine that gives him the softest, glowiest skin that radiates this godlike, ethereal aura. 

He smells like freshly-washed sheets and nice cologne. The cologne he wears is softer on the nose—contains notes of vanilla and lavender. (I imagine his cologne smells like Le Male Le Parfum. If you haven’t smelled it—you need to.)

His zipper charms jingle when he walks.

The place he lives is covered in his signature print. His bedspread? It’s that upside-down pull tab pattern. Towels? Absolutely. His walls??? Covered in wallpapers with his print. 

As much as he enjoys taking you out on dates, he prefers nights in at his place. Staying in is much more intimate—the two of you can hold each other close while sipping on some nice wine and enjoying each others’ favorite media.

Speaking of which, Bruno loves sharing his favorite media with you.  Whether it be listening to the music of Miles Davis or cuddling up to Il Postino, he’s honored that you take interest in his favorite things. And of course, he loves hearing about it the things you like. It warms his heart when he watches you get all excited and happy as you infodump. 

He’s a romantic lover, but not a cheesy one. His acts of love are genuine—he’d do anything just to see your beautiful smile.

It’s stated he enjoys Miles Davis, so it’s evident he enjoys Jazz Fusion. I believe he’s also into prog rock and classical. He has a nice vinyl collection.

Bruno is pretty knowledgeable when it comes to wine. He appreciates the art of it and enjoys wine tasting.

Bruno doesn’t drink a ton of wine—a glass with dinner is usually the extent of it. He likes to keep his mind clear and sharp in case a situation arises, prepared for anything. He doesn’t use any substances other than alcohol. (As much as I like the idea of taking bong rips with Bruno, we all know it wouldn’t happen. MAN I wish it would though.) If he were to get drunk, it would take him about 4 drinks.

In a world where nobody died, Bruno was promoted to Underboss after Giorno took over.

Bruno takes a lot after his dad; he’s got that protector complex. Children pick up and model behavior from their parents. His dad wanted to protect his family from the cruelties of the world, so it’s no doubt he would feel the need to protect you too. He’ll sacrifice his whole self just to keep you safe. (I go into a lot of detail about this in this post.)

He has a fuck ton of money (he is underboss, after all), but he’s still a reasonable spender. Growing up poor, he likely inherited some of his parents’ spending habits. It’s not that he won’t get nice things for himself every once in a while (nothing too egregious,)—I just don’t believe he’d buy himself a mansion.

…you did ask for a list of favorites, and my favorites happen to include some NSFW ones. They’re under the cut ;)

Bruno Bucciarati isn’t shy with his tongue. He loves oral sex—and he’s damn good at it, too. (all that sweat-licking has given him practice 😂) Tasting you is his biggest turn-on to him—it’s as if he’s tasting your arousal.

He’s a switch, able to play the role of a tormenting dom, or a discomposed sub.

Dom!Bruno revels the power in-balance between the two of you. He’s a highly ranked member of Passione, for one. He wants to make sure you know your place—maybe he’ll make you call him by his last name instead of Bruno as a way to “respect” him, giving you an even greater sense of subordinancy. He also happens to be the wielder of Sticky Fingers, which, come on—he definitely uses his ability in the bedroom. Sticky Fingers is the best stand for sex. (And I am willing to bet money on that.) His ability can be used to separate things, attach you to things, dismantle your body, etc, etc, etc…. You can get incredibly creative with those zippers. And come on, he tortures people. No doubt he’ll wanna carry some of that freaky attitude into the bedroom with him.

Bruno is always in control of everything, so relinquishing his authority and letting someone else take control can be an incredibly freeing sensation. Sub!Bruno becomes intoxicatingly high off your touch, slowly unraveling until he’s a complete mess, having lost all sense of composure.

[coochellati]

Headcanon: Bruno’s bangs still have the same cowlick they did when he was a kid.

He straightens them each morning to smooth them out. Because of this, his cowlick has grown to be less pronounced. (But still noticeable enough to require straightening.)

[coochellati]

We all know how much we love our Bruno smut and how hot he can be in them 😩

Which leads me to ask, how much experience do you think he has? Do you think he’s had past partners or flings? Or is he a virgin who’s learned techniques to please his partner motivated by his want to please them? And for funsies, what do you think is his length? 👀

Hi!!! First of all, I wanted to thank you for sending me this ask, because now I get an excuse to talk about my thoughts surrounding his love life!!! This is a topic I am very passionate about.

I'm very excited to share these headcanons because they’re something I’ve heavily discussed with @phosphor-escent / @cornerfortherats (Maggie) at random times during the past few months. She is a lovely person to hold a deep, analytical conversation about Bruno with. (And a lovely person all-around.)

Discussion is under the cut!!

Bruno Bucciarati has never been in a relationship, nor has he slept around. (He doesn’t strike me as the type to have one night stands—loyalty is one of his defining character traits.)

As for why he lacks experience, I believe that Bruno would be very hesitant to let someone into his dangerous life.

Whether you like it or not, being associated with Bruno Bucciarati means being tied to Passione, a reality he's well aware of. Having connections to the organization can be dangerous—Bruno's enemies could use his loved ones against him. Being someone who prioritizes the safety of those he cares for over his own, the fear of loved ones becoming harmed due to his affiliations is enough to prevent him from forming deep relationships.

After the events of Golden Wind, I imagine Bruno would have been promoted to either Underboss or Consigliere within Passione. Passione is an immensely powerful organization, especially under Giorno's leadership. (If you consider Purple Haze Feedback to be canon, you'll know that Giorno's Passione has power beyond anything Diavolo could have ever imagined, surpassing even that of any president.)

With such a high-ranking position, Bruno would undoubtedly have a significant target on his back—not that he wasn't already in a highly sought-after position as Capo.

Being an existing member of Passione may make it easier to form a relationship with Bruno, but it certainly doesn't make it easy. If Bruno holds a higher rank, (which is almost certain if Giorno is boss, and still quite likely even if Bruno is a Capo,) he'd know that the person he's involved with would become an even more significant target than they already are.

Naturally, that raises the question: what if this person holds the same rank as Bruno or even higher? Given Bruno's serious approach to his career, he would likely maintain professionalism, trying to avoid letting personal feelings interfere.

(I would also like to note that if the person he cared about wasn't in Passione and expressed a desire to join, Bruno would do everything in his power to keep them out of the organization, likely outright forbidding it.)

At this point, you may be thinking, "Why does Coochellati think getting into a relationship with Bruno would be so difficult? Other mafiosos get into relationships--just look at Tiziano and Squalo!" While yes, it is true that typical mafiosos aren't afraid to form close relationships with others, we know Bruno isn't your typical mafioso. To begin with, "typical mafiosos" don't become career criminals at the age of twelve. (This leads nicely into my next point.)

So, what's the underlying reason behind my belief that Bruno would have a hard time getting into a relationship?

Childhood Trauma.

At the ripe age of seven, Bruno Bucciarati experienced his parents' divorce. Divorce can be traumatizing--according to the University of Illinois Chicago, "Children of divorced parents are at an increased risk of [having] interpersonal relationship difficulties."

While not every child of divorce struggles in forming and maintaining relationships, evidence from Golden Wind suggests that this could be a factor for Bruno. His actions and behaviors indicate that his upbringing has left a lasting impact on the way he forms and maintains relationships.

The moment he was made to choose which parent he wanted to live with was likely traumatic, especially with the high stakes he was presented with. Despite knowing that living with his mother would provide him the opportunity to attend a good school, he knew his father needed his presence. He chose to risk the strong possibility of a bright future for his father's sake, and at just seven years old, Bruno had already learned to prioritize others' needs over his own. This only intensified over time--by the age of twelve, Bruno was willing to murder to protect his father, quick to throw away any hopes of having a good future.

Throughout Golden Wind, we repeatedly see Bruno sacrificing himself for the needs of others. For someone with a pattern of this behavior and is acutely aware of the danger his associations present, it’s more likely he would jeopardize his happiness to ensure his potential partner isn’t affected by his actions. Bruno would most likely push them away or cut contact entirely, depending on how closely connected to them he is.

OKAY, WITH ALL THAT DEEP STUFF OUT OF THE WAY, LET’S GET TO THE FUN PARTS!! ;)

How good is Bruno in bed?

Despite not having much experience, he’d be pretty damn good, I’d think. Why?

Being good in bed requires understanding what your partner needs, which can be achieved through communication and reading body language. Being able to read someone well is a highly valued skill in the bedroom, and Bruno is well known for his intuition.

Remember his lie-detecting ability?

Bruno can discern a liar by the taste of their sweat, but he doesn't need that ability to detect deception. He knew Giorno was lying long before tasting his sweat—why else would he have placed Leaky Eye Luka’s eyeball in Giorno’s hand? So, how did he know Giorno was lying? Although Bruno mentioned that Giorno wasn’t perspiring, (which he might have lied about,) he must have figured out Giorno was lying through other means. While the exact method is unclear, it’s evident that Bruno can read people like a book. Therefore, it wouldn’t be hard for him to understand your needs.

Additionally, to be good in bed, keen confidence is essential--this is another trait Bruno is famously known for. The Grateful Dead arc is a brilliant example of how well Bruno can act under pressure. In his fight against Prosciutto, Bruno quickly and confidently made the decision to throw himself and Prosciutto off the train to negate The Grateful Dead's aging effects, ensuring the safety of his squad and Trish. If Bruno can keep a cool head while jumping from a speeding train, it wouldn't be a stretch to believe that he would be confident in the bedroom--especially as he becomes more comfortable with you sexually.

During your first time together, he may feel pressured to ensure that you're enjoying yourself. Though Bruno typically maintains a good poker face under stress, his attempt to project his usual confidence may feel slightly off. Perhaps he isn’t speaking as often, or his hands feel more clammy than usual—small details like this reveal his nervousness. Regardless of whether you notice these signs, he’d focus so much attention on his partner that they wouldn’t perceive his anxiety. After all, this is about making his partner feel good.

(I like to imagine that Bruno would let out an unintentional whimper the first time he slides in.)

Another thing to note: as mentioned before, Bruno prioritizes the needs of those around him over his own. Golden Wind also shows us that he’s more comfortable when he's in control of a situation. These traits suggest he’d initially prefer taking on a dominant role in the bedroom, as it gives him control over ensuring his partner is feeling good.

Now for the best part.

I'm going to do you one better and give you a whole d!ck headcanon.

7.3 inches long, 2.625 inches wide. slight curve up. Uncut. Lion (CCA279) at the base, softens into Peach (F0C49C) mid-shaft. Tip is Atomic Tangerine (DF9C86.)

Here's a gradient for reference:

(As for cut or uncut? 2.6% of Italians are circumcised, so I’m willing to bet money that Bruno isn’t one of them. [This statistic was found in a study done in 2016.])

WHEW, I think that's everything--I hope at least. I'm sure I will have more to add to these thoughts in the future.

Before ending this, I wanted to quickly say that even though I (sometimes) state my headcanons as if they are fact I understand that this just is my interpretation of Bruno—everyone has differing opinions. It’s important to note that others’ headcanons are just as valid as mine. (I just happen to really like writing in an argumentative essay style, and this post is written in a style akin to it.)

Again, thank you for sending me this ask; I had a ton of fun writing my response. :)

[coochellati]

My dear, I always look forward to your Bruno posts! Within your canon, could you maybe do some headcanons about some kinks the capo has? I can totally see him being ashamed of some of the stuff he might be into

AWE thank you!! I appreciate your kind words so much 💕 and HELL yes!!! This is such a fun question!! I’m so excited you asked this, and I can’t wait to share my thoughts 😭💕

Also, I fully agree with you—there are definitely some things he's into that he feels ashamed about, mostly regarding his submissive desires. (I believe he can become more comfortable with them over time with his partner's help.)

I discussed this topic with Maggie, so I want to give her a shout-out! (@phosphor-escent / @cornerfortherats) Go check her out, she’s awesome 🩷 (and she’s a fantastic person to hold a deep conversation about Bruno with.)

Alright, let's get into it!!!

Length: 1.5k words

Dom/Sub Dynamic

Most of Bruno's kinks stem from his main one, which is his affinity for a dom/sub relationship in the bedroom. (Specifically, the power imbalance that comes from such a dynamic.) Bruno is a powerful individual--he holds much authority as a Capo or the Underboss of Passione (like he is in my post-GW headcanon.) He enjoys exerting this power in the bedroom, taking pleasure in the control he has over you.

However, Bruno's job also puts him in a position where he rarely gets a break from being in command. Because of this, he isn't just a dom--he also finds it exhilarating to relinquish his authority and take on a submissive role.

One of the reasons a power dynamic turns him on so much is because of the deep trust required between both partners for it to happen. There's nothing more intimate than being able to fully trust your partner, and the fact that you're allowing yourself to be put into such vulnerable positions demonstrates the deep trust between you. (And the same goes for Bruno when he's in the submissive role.)

Now that I've established that I believe he is a switch, we can get to the kink list. For each kink, I will specify the context in which he enjoys it. (Domming, subbing, or both?)

Orgasm Control

He enjoys the use of orgasm control when domming and subbing, with an emphasis on edging and denial.

When domming, he loves watching your reactions to what he's doing and seeing how desperate you become for him. It's the fact that you want him and that he's the one giving you that pleasure that gets him. It's no wonder (he kind) of power trips off of it.

When on the receiving end, part of what excites him is the unexpected nature of it. He has no idea when you'll let him cum or deny him pleasure, which keeps him on edge--literally and figuratively.

Overstimulation

Becoming overwhelmed/overwhelming someone with stimulation is something he finds particularly hot. He'll crumble apart into a mess when you do it to him.

Discipline

Bruno enjoys this kink in the context of both roles. He can be particularly evil as a dom, and one way he enjoys disciplining you involves using orgasm control as a form of punishment. Playing games that hinge on his lie-detecting ability excites him--if you get caught lying, he punishes you. ;)

Being punished is something he enjoys as well--being "put in his place" reminds him of the power imbalance at hand. He especially enjoys being spanked, flogged, overestimulated, edged, and denied.

Bondage

He loves bondage in any context, and it just so happens that his stand ability is perfect for this kink. Bruno can get extremely creative using Sticky Fingers--for instance, he can use his zippers to attach your body to something, attach your body parts together, completely zip you apart, etc., etc. (I am very passionate about this topic, and have written about it extensively.)

This next thing doesn't exactly fall under the bondage umbrella, but when you're restrained, he may decide to use his cock on you as a dildo, having Sticky Fingers detach it from his body.

Being restrained is fun for him, too, and the power loss that comes with it excites him. There is, however, a slight issue: if you're using normal methods to restrain him, Bruno can escape at any time with Sticky Fingers. This can make the task of creating immersion more difficult--if you don't have any way to keep him from using his ability, there's a good chance he'll eventually break out on his own accord and flip the switch. He's too much of a weasel to let you get away with domming him for so long.

If you're somehow able to keep him from using his ability, (perhaps you're a stand user yourself,) it would increase his arousal tenfold--knowing he can't escape no matter what adds a nerve-wracking, salacious thrill. (He's nervous because he generally doesn't like it when he has no control over his situation. It's hot in a sexual context, though.)

If he stays restrained until the end, (or decides to be good and plays along,) he may turn on you as soon as he's set free. He's not going to let you get away with what you've done to him. ;)

Praise

He loves praise in both contexts, especially when he's on the receiving end. Being told, "I'm proud of you," isn't something he hears very often, (especially not from the people he's associated with,) so when he hears he's doing well in the bedroom, he feels like he's walking on air. Maggie stated that she likes to imagine that there would be a 50/50 chance that if you praised him during his first time, he’d finish early.

I agree with this statement.

Biting

Do you know what cute aggression is? According to Wikipedia, it's "the urge to squeeze or bite things perceived as being cute without the desire to cause any harm." In other words, it's that feeling you get when you see something so cute you want to squeeze it. Bruno can't help but feel this way toward you at times. (He only really acts on it in the bedroom.) It's worth noting that his bites aren't too painful; they're just strong enough to leave a small mark that fades within a day or so.

He's not into receiving bites--he doesn’t want to have to explain to people in the workplace why he has them.

Hair Pulling

For Bruno, pain (in small doses) heightens the pleasure and makes the experience more enjoyable. As long as you're not yanking his hair from his scalp, he's enjoying it. He also makes a point to be delicate with your scalp because of this.

Latex and Lace

Do I need to explain this one?

Kidding aside, nothing turns on Bruno more than seeing you adorned in lacey garments or a tight, latex bodysuit that hugs your body in all the right places. Need a way to get him hard quickly? Wear something sexy. ;)

Here's the best part: not only does he enjoy seeing you all dressed up, but he also loves dressing up himself. (OF COURSE!! He's already got that lacey one-piece he wears every day.) His confidence soars in garments like latex and lace--nothing makes him feel sexier. (Can you imagine Bruno in a latex bodysuit? Jesus Christ almighty, I would die on the spot. OH my god, the bulge. )

Giving Massages

Given that he loves focusing on you, Bruno would happily lather you in body oil/lotion and massage your entire body. The poor guy would be rock-hard after doing this. (Of course, he'd also be rock-hard if you gave him a full body massage--even more so if you threw in a happy ending. ;))

Pegging

Bruno's into being pegged, but he feels a bit of disgust himself for thinking that it's hot.

Part of the reason he wants to try it is because of the submissive aspect. When you have "control" over him, you don't usually truly have total control since he could easily take it back from you. (Unless you have a way to prevent him from using his ability—thank you, Sticky Fingers.) However, it isn't as easy to get away from being pegged, and part of that makes him a tiny bit nervous to try it, given that he doesn't usually like it when he has no control over a situation.

However, his more prominent hang-up is the fact that he hasn't had someone tell him it's okay to have these sexual thoughts, and he feels conflicted about his desire to try what he lies. Of course, he believes people can do what they want with their bodies, but he feels like he needs to hold himself to a different standard.

Also, his disgust towards pegging has nothing to do with him being a man and taking something up the ass--it's more so because it's his ass... he's a hygienic man, and it feels wrong.

I don’t know if these next ones fall under a kink, but here are a few other things I believe he’s into:

Tasting you

Bruno loves dragging his tongue across your skin--tasting your arousal through your sweat (or arousal fluids) is one of his biggest turn-ons. (Come on, he tastes sweat as a part of his job. Of course, he's going to be into this. And let me clarify something: licking others in general to run his lie-detection test isn't something he's into--I’m specifically talking about being into tasting the arousal of his partner.)

A fun game he makes out of this involves his lie-detecting ability--he'll ask embarrassing things that would be hard to answer truthfully, and if you get caught lying, you get disciplined. ;)

ORAL!!!!!

Bruno is extremely into oral and especially loves receiving blowjobs--he never lasts long at the sight of your pretty mouth around his cock. He also loves giving but feels guilty that he enjoys receiving slightly more.

He also loves the sensation of getting his fingers sucked on--it gives you a chance to show off what you can do ;)

Mutual Masturbation Phone Sex

He especially enjoys it when he has control over your masturbation, such as telling you how to touch yourself and when. It's having that control over you that really gets him.

And that’s my comprehensive list of his kinks!!! There may be some stuff I've missed, so I'm curious what you guys think! Anything else he’s into?