#does no one want to be stable?
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i feel like a cartoon character, not in the fun sort of way, more like the im-repeatedly-being-smashed-by-a-hammer sort of way.
#thats life!!#one catastrophe after another!#is no one stable?#does no one want to be stable?#i am TRYING to get better#but no one else is#and thats making it really hard for me'#im also a pusher and want other people feel better at my cost#its a horrid battle#idk#vent
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Imagine Annabeth and Percy have a kid early, unplanned and it kinda fucks with their finances so Percy drops out of school to get a job so he can care for the kid and support Annabeth in school. At first he gets a job teaching kids sword fighting but then he hears about underwater welding which pays well because it’s dangerous but Percy is a child of the sea so it’s much less so for him. His boss is even willing to give him flexible hours which means Annabeth doesn’t have to take their kid to class anymore and they can actually afford daycare (why does is it the price of a mortgage nowadays???). A huge financial burden is lifted and Percy doesn’t mind the work so it’s good all the way around.
Fast forward to when Annabeth is done her masters in architecture and lands a job at a top firm. They’ve got savings and have Annabeth’s income to rely on. Percy heads back to school and finishes a degree in marine biology, going on to research some really niche topics like how underwater welding impacts the environment and shifting from there until he’s a well known expert in the field.
Just them finding their way. Supporting each other and landing on their feet no matter what
#i really like the idea of Percy having a non-linear path through school to a career#he’s 17#just because Annabeth knows what she wants to do doesn’t mean he does#let him find his path#also if Percy and Annabeth had an accidental baby#(completely possible once they’re at New Rome though I do believe they’re careful and responsible about it)#and if they couldn’t survive with the baby on scholarships + Fredrick’s money for Annabeth + what little Sally and Paul can spare#I think Percy would be the one to drop out for a full time job#and then go back to school once they’re stable#also I just generally think Percy would be the primary parent so Annabeth could really pursue her career#and because Annabeth’s job probably pays more and has more earning potential#percy and annabeth#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#percabeth#post HoO
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Messy comic about his Intrusive thoughts
#one piece#portgas d ace#monkey d luffy#moonel.mspaint#tw intrusive thoughts#cw intrusive thoughts#Ace isn’t really the best and stable person#so I do think he used to have intrusive thoughts and it was especially directed to Luffy because Luffy would always let his guard down when#with Ace because he trusts him like an older brother#but Ace on the other hand still struggles with his issues of being the son of the late pirate king#he thinks he doesn’t deserve someone as special as Luffy so it all gushes up into a bunch of intrusive thoughts that#want to get rid of Luffy and push him away#to try and test Luffy if he really does mean what he said when they swore to be brothers#because if it weren’t for Luffy and Sabo. Ace didn’t really have much to live for and keep himself stable because he was just a child during#those times#.#sorry if I rambled there#i have a lot of feelings about this messy comic
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I made this post before we knew Focalors and Furina were different people, and the fact I still find it accurate to Focalors but not Local Fatui Harbinger Fucker Furina is rly funny to me
It is my humble opinion that Focalors and Arlecchino WOULD argue about who is worse for Furina, tho
#Focalors: Furina ilu so much ur like a little angel to me — but wtf is THAT?? *pointing at Arlecchino*#Furina: m…my boyfriend…?#Focalors: put her back where you found her now#Furina: but—#Arlecchino: that would be quite difficult considering I’m the one who snuck up on her#Furina: Arle you’re not helping—#Focalors: you motherfucker—#Arlecchino: I suppose you’re right. the children do consider her their mother these days so I am something of a ‘’motherfucker’’ aren’t I—#Furina: you’RE NOT HELPING ARLE—#Focalors: NEUVILLETTE WE’RE REINSTATING THE DEATH PENALTY#Neuvillette: I-I’m not doing that…#Arlecchino: why not? it’D BE LESS CRUEL THAN WHAT SHE DID TO FURINA#Focalors: YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO START WITH ME ABOUT ‘’CRUEL TO FURINA’’#Arlecchino: SHE’S HAD CRIPPLING DEPRESSION FOR 500 YEARS AND WHERE WERE YOU? YOU DIDN’T CHECK IN ON HER EVEN ONCE#Focalors: I WAS ALWAYS THERE#Arlecchino: THEN WHY WOULD YOU EVEN LET ME ATTACK HER IF YOU WERE ‘’ALWAYS THERE?’’#Arlecchino: YOU WERE JUST GOING TO LET HER TAKE THE FALL FOR YOUR BULLSHIT PLAN???#anyway that’s how I imagine a typical Focalors and Arlecchino conversation goes#Focalors is the local absentee big sister and Arlecchino is the motorcycle riding boyfriend (who also does some murdering on the side)#both of them think Furina would be better off without the other#and then there’s Furina who is just so mentally ill and loves both of them#and Neuvillette is the only stable one and he lets Furina cry to him when both of them are upsetting her#I think about all this a normal amount. ahem#Arlefuri#Furina#Arlecchino#Focalors#Neuvilette //#Genshin Impact //
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Reverse Gondolin AU family portrait
#silm#silmarillion#idril#tuor#earendil#reverse gondolin au#is this baby earendil's first appearance in the au?#so I decided Idril & Tuor still get married in this au#mostly bc I want Earendil to exist.#i haven't figured out what I want to do with Lomion#but maybe he can be obsessed with tyelpe instead of idril bc they're friends in this au and idril showed up a lot later?#also c&c + celebrimbor moved to gondolin instead of nargothrond since Aredhel lives there#you may notice that tuor has a diff hairstyle & outfit in the au!#this is bc fashion trends in reverse gondolin are more influenced by aredhel's choices than turgons for obvious reasons#hence the white cloaks and shorter (but equally fancy) sleeves#also idril is lord of the mole in the au#my headcanon is that 'lord' as of the lords of gondolin is just the title regardless of gender for the specific role#'lady' is a different role with much less administrative stuff and more social/public-appearance type stuff#aredhel is the white lady of gondolin bc she does Not want to be a lord#so she does the occasional royalty-waves-and-smiles-from-a-tower type event when necessary#but other than that she doesnt have political duties#idril is the administrative/political leader of the Mole in the au hence she is a lord#shes also the lady of the wing bc she married tuor and is part of the house of the wing's nobility but doesn't do their political stuff#and tuor is the lady of the mole#reverse turgon after arrival has less of a interest in politics than canon turgon (the whole eol deal was rather traumatizing and he needs#time to recover)#so he's not one of the Lords but he is colloquially ar-feinion#his official title is some sort of prince#after he reaches a more stable emotional state he helps a lot w the political stuff when aredhel is out#so maeglin doesn't have todo everything himself
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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Feel free to ignore this but as someone who also goes to art school, I find it really interesting how other art schools also have a “don’t date your peers” sort of faux pa. Like so many people I know (including me) refuse to date anyone else who goes to my college 😭
I wonder why that is tbh, small school thing maybe?
being so serious i didn't have anything against dating other art school peers when i first came here and i think most freshmen dont but once you have one or two art school relationships under your belt you realize why all the upperclassmen avoid dating each other like the plague
#it sounds so good on the surface. like when am i ever going to find this many lesbians concentrated into one place at the same time#but unfortunately in order to go to art school you need to be 1. in your 20s and 2. have something wrong with you#also especially as you get into years 3-4 i think maintaining a relationship just becomes SO hard. bc we're all in the trenches#AND ALSO. from experience. this school is SO small that you CANNOT avoid your exes. if it ends badly fuck you you have 4 classes with her#anyway obviously this doesnt stop me from looking for. things. on tinder. i just dont swipe right on anyone i recognize from class#and it ALSO does not stop you from WANTING to date people in your classes. this tinder girl is nowhere near my first art school crush i jus#do not act on them anymore <3 lmfao#that being said tinder girl if youre reading this i didnt mean any of it baby you're so pretty and im so stable please dm me
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it
#1) dopamine drops on lower dosages or high dosage but in the evenings feel like hell and it wont ever stop you have to just breathe#you will stop breathing well and you wont notice it so you have to remember to breathe deeply. this helps immensely for some reason#2) you will stop processing the existence of food as a consumable thing and not just an object like Table or Cardboard. you will not want to#eat anything. you have to buy meal replacement shakes. sweetness is one of the only pleasant flavours. eat protein. eat as much protein as#you can. down those meal replacament shakes. get enough for a day. try not to into calorie deficits on vyvanse.#3) your mind will be searching for cognitively complex tasks and everything else dwarfs in comparison. dont lay down. do something.#4) you have to exercise. fully exercise at the gym not a home 20 min work out. you need to push your body right now so that you can be ok#5) nothing will be as intense and vivid and beautiful and there will be a layer of seperation between you snd reality even on a lower dosage#this is fine. this is the primary price. sunlight helps and so does doing complex tasks but you cant avoid this. remind yourself that this#is a self-induced thing and its temporary and itll fade.#6) youve been ship of theseus'd into a new person and this effect only increases later into the day. any conclusion you reach about yourself#is most likely not applicable to your non-vyvanse self.#7) carry chapstick around. keep drinking water. dry mouth starts 5 minutes after taking it#8) some of your friends have a reduced range of emotion and this makes them more stable but less capable of experiencing intense joys#and sadnesses. look at them. listen to their perspective. live like them when youre on the medication.#9) music is still gorgeous#10) you will feel very hot very fast. wear layers you can take off.#11) pick up a bow and shoot. keep shooting. keep going. shoot at least 50 arrows if you can. feel the pain in your arms and your shoulders#and then keep shooting.
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Finals are coming up and I haven’t been able to do ANYTHING so I thought I’d make a quick angst post to let y’all know I’m not dead.
Real quick TW// for discussion of abusive relationships.
I think about Apollo and Zeus a lot. Because it wasn’t always bad. There were moments of calm, moments of camaraderie. And I know those were the moments Apollo clung too, when he felt alone and unloved. He became obsessed with those moments, those small happy times. He convinced himself that if he was just a bit more demure, a bit more obedient, his father would go back to telling him little jokes or smiling at his songs. And the worst part was that this was true. Every inch Apollo gave up to his father earned him praise, every piece of himself he tore apart was met with joyous approval. Zeus only ever wanted a son he could keep on a leash, so Apollo spent his life tightening the collar.
And Apollo put all his time trying to make up for the fact that he was Apollo. He talked to much and loved too loud and cried too often and sang too truthfully. And he made these strengths his weaknesses, to bend himself into the shape his father preferred. It became his life’s work, making a mockery of himself. And when it stormed he would weep for his children, who he desperately tried to teach to be better than him, without knowing what better truly meant. And he wept for his brothers and sisters, for the lives they had to lead in a city of false pride. And he wept for his father, who could never love him. And he wept for himself, because he could never stop loving his father. Because it wasn’t always bad, and that was all Apollo had to cling to.
Sometimes, the man who destroyed Apollo’s life was a good person. That’s what made the hurt even harder to bear.
#my obsession with Apollos daddy issues does NOT say anything about me shut up I’m perfectly stable#tw: abuse mention#trials of apollo#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo zeus#sunny speaks#also to be clear Zeus is NOT a good person#Apollo just really wants to think his father is a good man bc no one wants their parent to be the scum of the earth
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in moments like these we do need to ask ourselves. does it even matter to dinah if she’s the best fighter in the world. is that what motivates her. is she at a point in her life where trying to prove herself and her abilities makes sense. is this not something we’ve already covered.
#text.tb#dinah does not by any means need to prove herself to anyone she’s already done that#if you want to do something interesting with her maybe we can look at the fact that everyone she knows has undergone huge monumental shifts#in their lives and relationships#and she’s the stable one and she’s always the stable one#and what does that Mean to be the one who is reliable and consistent and dependable now#esp when you have a history of being anything but#how do you come to terms with who you are instead of who you’ve been#she can’t just do whatever she wants. sin is back lian is back Ollie is constantly getting into trouble#Mia is re entering the superhero world roy CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD#Connor still hasn’t come out to Ollie. somehow.#and dinah is there. the one everyone loves and trusts and relies on.#what’s that like girl how are you doing#she can’t even necessarily turn to Babs for anything bc Babs is back in the field and also with dick all the time#like do you get what i mean. do you see what I’m saying.#she’s getting older. she HAS to be responsible whether she wants to or not.#the question isn’t what is she capable of but what does she WANT. TOM. !!!!!
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mister impossible chapter 10 i am kissing you with tongue
#might be my favorite chapter of anything honestly i owe it my firstborn child#tags by me#TRC#TDT#the Dreamer Trilogy#Mister Impossible#Declan Lynch#and his complicated relationship with his family and the absolutely PEAK brother dynamics#buckle your seat belt do you really wanna die in connecticut#why did i have to go through puberty lmao#there are fuckfaces out there#how does it FEEL to ask for something reasonable and be completely ignored????#Niall had made Declan a liar Aurora had made him an orphan Ronan had made him a nag but Matthew had taken Declan's youth#goodbye whatever Declan Lynch would have grown up to be#mary pls strike me deaf until the state line#Declan had put his identity crises on hold multiples times for the greater good Matthew had only been asked to do it once#Declan wanted to hate Niall. for being a bad father. for having favorites. for having favorites that who weren't Declan.#Declan said he hated him but it was aspirational#Declan's relationship with the criminal underworld was the longest and most stable one he'd had in his life#LITERALLY THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME DO YOU UNDERSTAND
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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My FL main went through some really weird, organic development over the...oh god, I think it's been five years since I started playing now.
So my main is named Skadi Larkin. They are a little bastard. They started out extremely 2D; I named them after my favorite Norse goddess and the protagonist of the book I was reading at the time. I originally wanted to make them female like both of their namesakes, but the second I saw the third-gender option, I thought it was too good to pass up. This is where they got their primary base characterization as a mad scientist who wanted to Cause Problems.
Then I started the Nemesis ambition and forgot which option I'd chosen for who I was trying to avenge, so they lost both their lover and their older brother under tragic circumstances (only the lover was killed by Nemesis's antagonist, though).
Then I got an Exceptional Friendship and had to give my tragic backstory in order to gain entry to the House of Chimes. Skadi pulled said tragic backstory (orphaned in a hansom accident) more or less out of their ass, but it did establish that their parents are dead.
Somewhere down the line, I realized that technically Skadi is a linguist, since the Correspondence is a language, and I made that their profession on the Surface as well.
Around this time, I started working on character designs for my fan comic. I got really into messing around with skin tone, and somewhere along the line thought it would be fun to draw Skadi (who was originally white) with darker skin, and it stuck.
Then I abruptly realized I was taking a lot of options that increased my Melancholy, and almost all of them were based on the Surface. So now Skadi has a longing for the Surface.
I left the game for a few years, but somewhere during this stretch of time, and I don't know how this happened, but I decided Skadi was now Native American; specifically, Metis. I changed their design to incorporate a sash woven in a style characteristic of the Metis, which also added a bit of color to their design (which was mostly black or grey at this point).
During this time, I started incorporating Skadi into my fan comic. This would eventually lead me to actually flesh out their backstory in greater detail. When I started playing the game again, I also created my first alt by total accident (long story), and I decided to weave her backstory with Skadi's.
So Skadi is in the interesting position of being an Indigenous person who is what we'd probably consider Two-Spirit today but they'd just call "Bollocks to that gender crap". They never belonged on the Surface, since the Metis are in a bit of a liminal space compared to other tribes due to their interesting background (the Metis are the descendants of French settlers and Indigenous inhabitants, mostly Cree), and Skadi exists in a liminal space within that liminal space due to only being half-Metis and raised primarily in white culture, although they still maintained a connection to it through their late mother. They also never belonged because no one else on the Surface outside of the communities they already felt isolated from would ever accept them for their gender. London gave them a chance to express one of those, but not both, and despite knowing that the Surface hates them just for existing, they still long to return.
#fallen london#fallen london oc#mild fallen london spoilers ig#there's a really interesting dichotomy with all of my fl characters honestly#skadi's is just probably the most blatant#umbra belacqua (my shadowy alt) is someone who both loves very fiercely and is capable of immense cruelty at the same time#in her backstory she had the husband of her ex-fiancee (who left her at the altar) murdered because she couldn't let go of her ex's betraya#said ex is my persuasive alt and is both very socially gregarious and extremely withdrawn#he probably won't ever get a spouse just because he can't bring himself to love someone else after what happened the last time#and he had very good reason for leaving umbra because he could never love her the way she wanted#and he felt that the sympathy she would receive from his family would more than make up for the heartbreak#since umbra is obsessed with gaining power and prestige and he came from an influential family#and knew that running away with the person he really loved would get him disowned#(he doesn't know umbra killed his husband btw)#my dangerous alt is my persuasive alt's sister#she's trans and badly overcompensating for it by refusing to wear anything except feminine clothing#because it hasn't quite gotten through to her yet that no one in Fallen London particularly cares about her gender expression#and she feels like the only way she can be seriously considered a woman is if she does everything she can to look like one#which causes her a good few problems because her one true passion is violence and that's not usually considered a very feminine hobby#then their younger brother (my watchful alt) is someone ironically very disinclined to violence who resorts to it anyways#the only people he's actually going to try to kill are the ones he has to kill for his ambition#and he's not very happy about it but he doesn't have much of a choice#because while he might not like bloodshed his murdered spouse was an anarchist who definitely did#and he's determined to do right by his memory by...killing a lot of people apparently#he is not a terribly mentally stable man and when i finally get around to making his account#he's going to have a massive nightmares problem that he refuses to deal with and keeps ending up in the royal beth for it#tl;dr all my fallen london characters are going through it and have overly long and complicated backstories#my main just happens to have the most overly long and complicated of them all
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did anyone else just feel 8 years of fandom papyrus growth shatter into a million pieces and fall into the void
#something something “you have misinterpreted the character in exactly the way they wanted you to”#saw somebody say verbatim “i dont think he has ever been unhappy for more than like 5 minutes” COME HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU#A FEW PPL SAY IT'S BECAUSE HE COPES BEST WITH BEING THE MONARCH????? HELLO??????????????#anyway if i could change my choice it would be undyne actually. passion does not amount to anger issues I Will Kill You#melting herself to stop you isn't faulty loyalty to asgore SHE IS STOPPING YOU FROM KILLING PEOPLE#girl's worst traits is that she thinks anime is real and humans are evil. and you change her mind on the last one by burning her house down#she's fucking chilling idc#is papyrus mentally stable when he starts quoting shakespeare immediately after getting decapitated#personally i think stable individuals would be a tad more serious about their own deaths but maybe thats just me#i am ripping shit apart with my teeth rn sorry
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witness my vision of what a sexual relationship should have for the very base without going nsfw. my pinky yelled at me for this.
#Spot says stuff#oc tag#shpootlin-doodlin#// suggestive //#its really not but just to make sure#its about wanting to be as close as Possible to each other. its about being the Answer for Yearning. its like a tender hand holding-#-fingers interwining. its about the shared emotional Warmth. its about having the chance to learn how to love yourself through someone-#-elses love for you!!!! sparrows does Not have the best relationship with her body. its a tool it gets jobs done but it isnt pretty.#she doesnt think shes pretty at all. n like this euros gets to prove her wrong because she is the most beautiful person hes ever seen and-#-he needs to tell her all about it. its all ultimately about the Pure Unfiltered Love. its about a sigh teetering on becoming a sob because#-there is just so Much of the adoration for another person that its hard to keep it in. its limitless joy#but also i just. gotta gush a bit about the differences in their body types JUST#EUROS IS SUCH A TWERP... his Big Muscular geef.....#and yet who manages to be the more emotionally stable one. the fuckin metal twig
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