#does anyone know if british people have any good food

[shootingthe-stars]

lowkey the worst thing about writing is coming up with different food for the characters to eat. bonus points if they’re british😭

[nerdygirlramblings]

Hello! Ive been binging poly!141 and I keep coming back to your writing for my fix (because by now its basically an addiction😅)

I had this idea that the 141 are together with a civilian reader. And civilian reader works in retail, part time, and is mostly at home. Normally, they would be home by the time their boys came home, welcoming them with open arms, a hot plate of food, and time to rest and relax. But this time, the 141 get home early and realize where reader works: Walmart (or equivalent). Reader has been keeping this a secret cause they know its not cute like a coffee shop or cool. Its just their job. And now the most important men in their life know. Im thinking the 141 found out because they went grocery shopping and happened to come across reader or something similar to that.

I work at Walmart and it sucks🥲 thought that maybe something like this might help😅

Tysm, nonny! So happy to hear you like the writing. I hope this does your idea justice. (Walmart doesn't have stores in the UK, but they own ASDA.)

Also, thank you for my first request! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

pure fluff, bad accents (per usual)

Your boys find out you work part-time at ASDA on a random rainy Thursday in March.

You don't really need a job. All four of your lovers are officers with the British army. Prior to you, they all lived in base barracks. Prior to you, they lived fairly Spartan existences. Prior to you, most of their income sat in the bank, quietly accumulating.

They have plenty of money saved up that they love using to spoil you, when you let them. You know that if you asked, they'd give you everything, but you draw the line about asking them for an allowance like some tradwife. You want some pocket money of your own. Thus, the part-time job at the ASDA in town.

You're a people person, good at handling big personalities. You need to be to keep up with your boys. Between John's need for control, Simon's stoic dominance, Johnny's aggressive enthusiasm, and Kyle's blinding charisma, you aren't some shrinking violet. Within a week of your hire, your manager watches how you weather a nasty piece of work trying to demand concessions you aren't permitted to give and immediately puts you in customer service.

You're nearly unflappable in the face of frustrated pensioners and harried parents and entitled young professionals. Over and over, you're the one they call when a customer is going spare. Which is how your boys find out about your job.

They've been deployed for over two weeks, and you have no idea when they'll return. John had originally said they'd be gone for at least a month, so you aren't expecting them home any time soon. However, they'd come home much earlier than anyone thought, and they wanted to surprise you.

You're always so good about making the house feel like a home, with your bright smile and warm laughter, your home cooked food and soft touches in decor. You make them feel like people, not weapons, and they want to return the favor. This last deployment had been hard, and all four of your boys were missing your sweet voice and tender care. They wanted to show you that they loved and cared for you the way you always showed your love and care for them.

It was Johnny's suggestion to prep a meal for you as both a surprise and a thank you. After debrief, they pile into the car and decide to stop at ASDA for everything they need before heading home to surprise you. It's John who causes the code call.

You hear Susan's voice over the store-wide address system. "We could use a little Sunshine in the floral department." That's your cue. You finish with the pensioner at your till as Jacob, your manager, comes over to relieve you.

You take a deep breath and square your shoulders. In your experience, a Sunshine call in floral is a man angry the store doesn't have the fancy arrangements listed on the website. You wish the signage on the site would be more clear that the beautiful bouquets are online orders only. It would save you having to explain why the offers in store are so limited.

You hear him before you see him, smokey voice grumbling, "But if they show the bloody thing on the site as available, you should have it hear." You'd recognize the voice anywhere. He's not angry, not really, but Susan doesn't know that. Add in the sheer size of him, and Simon looming over his shoulder, it's no wonder she called for support.

You have never wanted to walk away from a situation as much as you want to right now, but before you can make an escape, Susan notices you over John's shoulder. Her little wave is enough for your men to notice, and they turn as one to see you coming towards them. Immediately their demeanor shifts. Simon's back sags as though his strings were cut, leaving him loose-limbed. John stands a little straighter, chin up as if to impress you. They've both broken out in smiles, though Simon's are only evidenced by the laugh lines you know to look for. It's only as you get close do they zero in on the badge on your shirt.

"I've got this, Susan," you say to your co-worker. "Jacob's on my till. Can you cover?"

Susan wrings her hands. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay and-"

"They're nothing I can't handle," you tell her, cutting off her worried rambles. There's a cheeky glint in your eye as you flick your gaze at your men. You clap your hands together and say, "Right, let's get this settled, then."

Susan takes one quick look between you and the now slightly less intimidating men and heads towards the front of the store.

Once she's out of earshot, John's face breaks into a frown. "What're you doing here, love?" He glances at your name on your chest again. "You work here?" He sounds almost hurt by the revelation. You can tell Simon wants to reach for you, and the only thing stopping him is you working.

You hear heavy footfalls behind you as Johnny's Scottish lilt reaches your ears. "Och, Cap! Ye said ye'd only be a moment. Gaz and I had a hell of a time getting the trolley on its lift ta find ye. How hard is it to buy bon..." His question dies on his lips as you turn around. "Bonnie?" He, too, sounds hurt to find you working here.

You can see Kyle over Johnny's shoulder, confusion written across his features. This is not how you wanted your boys to find out about your job, if you ever wanted them to actually find out. You thought maybe you'd surprise them with tickets to Hereford FC's opening game in a few months. And if they asked how you afforded them, you could handle this conversation then, but it's out of your hands now.

And as much as you don't want to have this conversation, especially not in the middle of the floral department, you can't stop the wide grin at seeing your boys again, home and whole.

"Hi, boys," you say, opening your arms. Disappointed he might be about finding you here, Johnny's no fool. He immediately steps into your embrace, and the others quickly follow suit. You're swallowed up by the smell and feel of them. The hug lasts one minute. Then two. Then they all slowly step back.

You can see the questions and cut them off before they get started. "I have another three hours before I'm off. We can talk at home, and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

John nods first. He recognizes your tone. You won't let them derail you for answers now, and they would be wasting their breath to try. "You heard the lady, lads. Let's get home."

They start to walk away when you tease, "Captain? Was there a reason you were arguing with Susan about the flowers?"

He halts his steps and turns to you, flush creeping up his neck. He brings his hand up to rub it as he says, "Er, I, we, wanted to get ya something nice, but they don't have the same ones as online."

You melt a little, watching the way your men shift nervously behind their captain. You smile softly and reach over, plucking a bouquet of rainbow poms from the rack. "These are what I usually get for myself when you're away."

John takes them gently from your hand and passes them to Gaz to put in the trolley. "We'll see you at home, love," he murmurs, leaning over briefly to kiss your cheek. Simon kisses the top of your head, fabric brushing your hair. Johnny pulls you in for another bruising hug and kisses your other cheek. Gaz puts his hands on your waist, drinking in the sight of you, before taking your hands in his and kissing your palms.

You watch them leave, wondering how you'll make it through the rest of your shift.

Three hours and fifteen minutes later, you cross the threshold of your shared home to the most delicious scents wafting from the kitchen. After slipping your shoes off next to the piles of boots at the door, you follow your nose back to the kitchen and the spread laid out on the large wood-topped island. There's a roast and mushy peas and mashed potatoes and stewed carrots and battered cod and crisps and spinach all surrounding the flowers you'd suggested, nestled in the vase you love most, the Caithness one Johnny'd bought you on your first trip with them to Scotland.

At the table, your men sit, plates made for everyone, waiting on you. They've changed since you saw them. Gone are any traces of fatigues and tactical gear. Instead they're all in casual civvies, truly home for the first time in nearly three weeks. Simon stands as you come in and pulls out your chair, smile on his scarred lips. "Come sit, doll," he tells you, not quite an order.

You look quickly around. "Let me change," you say, tugging at your uniform top. "I won't be but a minute." You back out of the room before they can stop you. You hurry to your bedroom, pulling your top off as you go. Once behind the door, you slip from your trousers into comfortable leggings and a large jumper, one of Kyle's you think.

By the time you make it back to the kitchen, your men are more than a little antsy. Simon's smile is a little strained, Johnny is fidgeting, Kyle keeps glancing between you and John, and John is staring at you. Your chair is still out. He waves a hand at it, and gently says, "Come sit, love." It's couched as request, but you know a command from your lover when you hear it.

You take your seat at the table. "Listen-" you start, but John cuts you off.

"Are we not providing for ya, love?" You see the hurt in his eyes, how much it bothers him to think he, they, aren't doing enough for you.

"Oh, John, dear, no!" you reply, putting your hand over his on the table. "It's not that at all."

"Then what?" Simon asks.

You look at them all, the expectant faces waiting to hear how they failed you. "I get restless sometimes. I love you, and I love our life. I'm happy to take care of the house and make sure you're all fed after a long day. But I wasn't built for sitting around doing nothing. I like people; being home on my own all day can get lonely. Especially when you're deployed. I also like having my own pocket money."

John opens his mouth, and you know what he's about to say, so you continue. "I know you'd give me any money I need or want, but I like having my money. Money I earned myself." You look around at them, willing them to understand. "It's only part time. Helps me keep a little busy and have a little extra to spoil you and me with."

Johnny is frowning, but you see Kyle, head cocked, looking at you as a puzzle. "I think I understand," he says softly. "You were making you way just fine before us, and you gave up everything for us."

At his words, the crease between John's brow deepens, and you're sure he's remembering the job you had, that you'd somewhat enjoyed, when you'd first met them. You'd been working at RAF Lakenheath, living in a cozy flat in Cambridge, near The Backs, when the 141 had been coming through the base after an op. An injury had put Kyle in the med center for a week, and while he could have been transported to Hereford once stable, Laswell had worked it out for the whole team to have some R&R near the base.

You'd quite literally run into John one day, rushing to your office, after which he suggested lunch as an apology. You quickly became close with all four, smitten with them from the start. In turn, they fell hard for you. They wooed you over the course of several weeks, stopping through Lakenheath on deployments to spend some time with you. Six months in and you were completely gone on all four of them, so when they'd asked you to move to Hereford, you did without ever looking back. But it meant giving up the life you'd led.

Somewhere along the way, your happiness overshadowed all you'd left behind. After a few weeks, being home alone while your men worked started to feel isolating. You liked being a little busy, and there weren't enough projects around the house to keep you busy enough. You'd always been independent, but you didn't want to be stuck in a job with long hours anymore. You wanted to be home for your men. So you'd found the job at ASDA.

Kyle reaches over to where you hand is still on John's. "I'm sorry we didn't ask how you were coping us being gone all day," he says. He looks you in the eye as he continues. "I understand wanting to do something, wanting to be a little busy, and if this makes you happy, then I'm all for it, doll." He gives you a small smile and squeezes your and John's hand.

"Gaz is right," Simon rumbles. "We were so happy to have you here we didn't think about what you did all alone all day." He puts a heavy hand on your thigh, the warmth of him seeping through your thin leggings. "'m glad you have something to keep you from getting lonely."

"Sorry, hen," Johnny murmurs, just above a whisper. "We didnae think a' ye enough." You smile widely at him.

"Johnny, you think of me all the time. This isn't about neglect at all!" You try to catch his eye, but he's looking hard at the table in front of him. "You did nothing wrong, love," you tell him gently.

He looks at you, blue eyes bright. "Ye sure?" You've never seen him this nervous before, and you break a little.

"I'm sure love."

He smiles then, a little smile, but it brightens his face and shifts the mood in the room. You look at John who's been surprisingly quiet this whole time.

He's smiling, but it's a little sad. "I know ya said we didn't do anything wrong, but we feel like we did. We didn't notice you were bored, didn't ask if you were lonely." He flips his hand over under yours and threads your fingers with his. "Yer giving us a gift by not blaming us, and we'd be stupid not to take it, even though it feels like yer giving us an out. Thank you." He brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly.

"Thank you. I was worried you'd be mad," you admit.

"Never could make us mad with something like this, hen," Johnny reassures you. "I'm sorry we had to spoil your day is all."

You turn back to look at the food on the island. "You didn't spoil my day. You made it. You're home early, and you made such a lovely spread. I think we should tuck in, yeah?"

Simon chuckles. "Point made, doll," he says, scooping a heaping helping of mash onto his fork. The rest take it as a sign to start eating too.

The room is silent save for the sounds of food savored until John pipes up, "Why'd ya come to florals, love? We might have missed ya altogether if not for that."

You giggle. "The sunshine call, John."

"Yeah?" He clearly doesn't understand.

"It's the shop call for a difficult customer. When I'm on shift, it's my job to handle those." You look at each of your lovers in turn. "Seems I've got a knack for dealing with muppets," you tell them with a smirk.

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[mcrdvcks]

get to know your mutuals ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

i was tagged by @flowersforbucky and @logaenhowlett <3

what's the origin of your blog title? matt murdock. but bit longer of an answer, it was also my username on instagram since i was an editor on there (the account is still up i just don't use it anymore, it's the same username as i have here)

favorite fandoms? marvel/x-men and star wars. but i fear that when the superman movie and the batman 2 movie come out i'll write for them as well

favorite color? red and black

favorite game? i can't play a lot of games anymore because i have a surface pro 8, but i was a bit of a gamer when i was younger (i really want to play marvel rivals but my surface is apparently 'too old' for it 😭). i played minecraft and overwatch 2 over christmas break

song stuck in your head? defying gravity and what is this feeling? from the wicked soundtrack, and sex concept by sofia isella (i couldn't choose just one. and i'm not even a theater kid😭)

weirdest habit/trait? talking to myself/acting like there's a hidden camera

hobbies? writing, reading, baking, cooking, when i have time—or really just when someone's birthday is coming up—drawing/painting

if you work, what's your profession? does being a college student count? lol

if you could have any job, what would it be? astrophysicist!

something you're good at? i'd like to think i'm good at baking (and cooking)

something you're bad at? directions. if it's a place i've never been or rarely been, even in my hometown where i've lived for all my life, i still might use google maps because i don't remember street names, i remember buildings and landmarks

something you love? my friends and my dogs

something you could talk about for hours? marvel, star wars, space, climate change, british queens (during online school in 2020 i watched victoria and a lot of documentaries, so...)

something you hate? the state of our country (especially after yesterday holy fuck)

something you collect? funko pops and stickers

what's your love language? physical touch (even though i hate people touching me so counterintuitive there) and gift giving (probably mostly food though)

favorite movie/show? i have a lot so it's hard to choose... maybe empire strikes back or the winter soldier for the movie and for a tv show maybe the clone wars and doctor who

favorite food? jambalaya (if you don't know it's a creole/southern food) and idli (an indian food)

favorite animal? tiger

are you musical? i play the violin but haven't actually played it in a while

what were you like as a child? shy, quiet, the unwilling "teacher's pet". and by unwilling i mean i did my own thing but teacher's would always use me as an example or put the 'bad kids' next to me

favorite subject in school? science

least favorite subject in school? social studies (particulary ap human geography i hated that class)

what's your best character trait? maybe empathetic or kind

worst character trait? i overthink/compare myself to others. and i'm also a procrastinator

if you could time travel, who would you like to meet? carl sagan

i'm going to add a few other ones just because i'm bored :)

top 5 marvel characters: matt murdock, jessica jones, natasha romanoff, kamala khan, and currently logan howlett (sorry wanda, you've been bumped, but i still love you😭)

top 5 star wars characters: anakin skywalker, ahsoka tano, hera syndulla, hunter, din djarin

favorite fanfic? i found this when i first starting reading fanfics years ago and i still go back to it every so often. it's a star wars au fic called amnesia on ao3. if you're a star wars fan pls go read it it's so good.

tagging: @pandapetals @logansbaby @rosenclaws @pedroscurls & anyone else who is interested!

[unhetalia]

well. I guess it depends on what relationship head canons you have for ukus if they ever truly got together?

I had to think about this (nap) because I realised just how LITTLE established relationship UKUS I've actually consumed. I think I've read a lot more established RusAme than established UKUS. Maybe because I'm incredibly picky about the latter dynamic? Anyway - because I haven't read a lot of it, I had to think really hard about what it would look like.

I personally don't think there would be obvious differences between Arthur-and-Alfred-as-friends and Arthur-and-Alfred-as-lovers, but that still means talking about how I see Arthur and Alfred as friends.

As friends, banter is a huge part of Alfred and Arthur's dynamic. A long time ago, there was probably real bitterness in their jabs. Over time, it becomes a softer thing. (One of the songs I associate with UKUS is "So American" by Olivia Rodrigo, because I absolutely believe that's one of the things Arthur always says to Alfred - "you're so American", smirking or laughing, no sharpness or rebuke in his words.)

Arthur grew up with a lot of siblings and he's quick witted - but Alfred has amazing memory and can bring up anything anyone has done that he's witnessed, and is really good at knowing exactly what someone finds embarrassing or infuriating. They have fun riling each other up - this is what leads to them trying to scare each other silly every Halloween.

As a couple, this doesn't change. (It works for them, especially since both of them have a hard time expressing themselves sincerely.) The importance of this aspect of their dynamic is the fact that Alfred doesn't get offended by any of Arthur's comments - not the stuff about himself, or his dry, unimpressed observations about everything around him. He finds it funny, and Arthur thrives on that. Arthur has suffered a lot from being tied to people who found him wanting in some way, but Alfred is one of the few people who actively enjoys and seeks out Arthur's company and doesn't seem to find him wanting in some way.

The second thing is they have a good balance of things they enjoy doing together, and things they're dragging each other to. Alfred enjoys a lot of British media and food (once again, something that's more important to Arthur than he can say). Arthur enjoys McDonald's, and doesn't mind eating there when Alfred gets a craving. But Arthur doesn't enjoy the wilderness in the way Alfred does - is a bit ... discomfited at how there's huge swathes of American land that are completely wild. Alfred drags him to these places, for hiking and camping, and Arthur re-discovers a part of himself that he'd lost in England's industrialisation. Meanwhile, Arthur really pushes Alfred to appreciate the depth of English and European history. It allows for both comfort and growth in their relationship.

The third thing - Alfred is high energy, and so curious about the world. I absolutely believe Alfred has a few doctorates under his belt and invents and fixes things in his spare time. While I don't see Alfred working for the government, I can sometimes see him working for NASA. He's constantly tinkering or jotting things down. He's actually incredibly cerebral.

Arthur is physical. He never stopped sword fighting, and practices martial arts. He runs, and goes to the gym, does boxing (I've mentioned these things in my headcanon about England's appearance before). But when he's not doing those things, he does things that quiet his mind. He crochets or knits. Something repetitive and soothing. Meditative.

They can sit for hours in the same room, Arthur knitting while Alfred has blueprints spread over their coffee table. And its peaceful, and you don't think it even matters if the other person is there or not, but Arthur has to go to London for a week to sort something out and Alfred can't get anything done at home and has to go to the office every day.

HAVE I EVEN SAID ANYTHING IN THIS ASK. Basically Alfred and Arthur after having sex is incredibly similar to them before having sex. The act of sex changes everything and nothing all at once. But their relationship is a lot of being able to feel appreciated where you never felt appreciated before, a lot of being able to do things together that you love, and doing things together that you hate but somehow still helps you grow as a person, and also being able to do nothing together.

[wixenburr]

Batfam quotes taken from the group chat starboard

Tim, to Damian: I'm not going to talk twink logistics with you.

Tim: my social anxiety has me by the throat, like 24/7 Dick: Make out with it.

Tim: I'd kill a person before i drank hot water Jason: I'd kill a person.

Duke: I'm alright with being forgotten Actually

Dick, post-hallucinations: DREAM JASON IS A CHICKEN NUGGET

Dick: Thank you^^, it's because I'm insane—

Steph: First I get attacked by a butterfly in my dream and now this

Dick, post-killing joker: And plenty of gore and horror just for you!! <3 <3 Jason: :o JUST FOR ME?!

Bruce: How am i already an absentee father

Dick: spanish immersion until my cousin went back to his house and then it was english all the way down Tim: bisexual moment

Alfred: you know you have real kids when they ignore you :)

Steph: Atlantic Pacific Etc Sea Ocean Uhh

Dick: Ive never seen pineapple on a pizza, if i did id just be sad spongebob lost his home

(Bruce, having a breakdown) Tim, muffled: oh my god, i just ate that whole burger

Tim: Im sorry i slept

Cass: as an aroace pacifist fmk is a nightmare scenerio Jason: i may be asexual but i am sure as hell not a pacifist it's kill kill kill for me baby

Dick: No, Tim was gonna start killing people, there's a difference

Dick: wait no the flaky skin is on my face not my ass-

Alfred: what in the british archaelogist is happening here

Babs: I'm sorry i committed an actual war crime but its for y'alls own good

Damian: I don't need comfort, i need a knife

Bruce: I'm a firm believer in whore rights okay?

Steph: hELP- Duke: I'm eating spaghett Steph: what a simple life

Damian: Oh hi Batcow, finally someone interesting to talk to

Tim: I don't have depression, a therapist hasn't diagnosed me

anyone@Dick: noooo aha dont die sparkle butt

Damian: ive been god before

Bruce: i leave for two minutes and come back to octobussy

Tim: i am also killable if that makes you feel any better???

Babs: I support you with my eyes closed.

Dick: Instead im watching children with hot glue guns Damian: Like, in battle??? Dick: LIKE IN ARTS AND CRAFT

Steph: if i get a head injury i could probably read portuguese

Steph: love how we went in different directions Jason: The only directions: murder or pranks

Duke: I can't count that high so i'm-- i'm not gonna read that

Dick: punches him straight in the eye then immediately goes in for the kiss Tim: We call that the "Sock-n-Smooch"

Bruce: worm food can be eggs. scrambled ones. Damian: i dont lay eggs Bruce: chickens do?? Damian: oh. We have chickens!!!!

Tim: we have three hands for a reason

Damian: reEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEE Tim: Baby dinosaur be like Damian: I WILL BE A DINOSAUR BUT I WONT BE A B A B Y

Tim: shut up shut up shut up no you dont your bald + your mother is american

Jason: see, strangling people DOES bring miracles!

Tim: what in the minecraft commands are you trying to do here

Bonus:

Harley: mE AND MY CHECKERBOARD BOOBIES

Wally: Nightwing has two hands and a staff

[ineffablelunatic]

The Great British Bakeoff but it's Ghosts

This is going to be a longer post but here goes: (if you're British like me you'll understand this, if not you'll probably be confused)

Signature:

Pat - does something simple but wonderful that links back to his Yorkshire roots. (I feel like he would be a good baker.) He gets the Paul Hollywood handshake and immediately befriends the comedian hosts.

Mary - burns it.

Captain - does something from the time of rationing. He makes a very small cake with minimal ingredients, but for what it is it's quite good.

Fanny - makes something old fashioned, such as fruit cake or figgy pudding. It doesn't taste of much and she gets very offended when the judges say so.

Thomas - pours his heart and soul into the cake. Starts crying halfway through and has to take a break. He probably makes something fancy with pineapples or other unusual ingredients, just because he can.

Julian - brandy. He puts lots of brandy in the cake. He must have luck on his side, because it turns out surprisingly well. Maybe he bribed the judges.

Kitty - does something cute and pink and heart shaped. It's not that tasty but the judges don't want to be mean to her, and so they say it's delicious.

Humphrey - fairly average. He makes a two tier cake, and the top tier keeps falling off. At one point he leaves his head in the freezer.

Robin - Doesn't really know how to make cake, but he tries his best. He gets excited about the oven and messes with it just enough that the cake comes out perfectly cooked.

Technical:

1st place: Captain. Unsurprising, given he's good at following (and giving) orders.

2nd place: Humphrey. A little more unusual, but he seems to have a knack for baking now that he's reattached his head.

3rd place: Julian. Bribery, probably.

Last place: Mary. She burnt it.

Showstopper:

Pat - makes a scouts themed cake with marshmallows and chocolate. It's very tasty.

Mary - crème brulée. It's quite good, possibly because it's actually supposed to be burned.

Captain - makes Havers's favourite cake. Gets sad but won't tell anyone why. At least he didn't bury any explosives in it.

Fanny - very extravagant tiered cake. It has a replica of Button House on top, and it looks a little like a wedding cake. One of the windows keeps falling off. Strange, given it's the one she was pushed out of.

Thomas - Red velvet cake. He writes his poetry on the sides in food dye. It's decorated with small chocolate beads that look surprisingly like musket balls.

Julian - adds more alcohol. In fact, he spends so much time adding alcohol (and drinking it) that he runs out of time and isn't able to ice the bottom half of the cake.

Kitty - it's heart shaped again, and it has tiny fondant dolls on top that she made. They depict her, Alison, all of the ghosts, her father, and her sister - herself and the people she loves (even if not all of them deserve it).

Humphrey - he makes a french cake. It's very nice and all, but the instructions that his wife used to use are in french, and once again the top layer keeps falling off. Couldn't think why.

Robin - blows everyone away with an incredible Moonah Ston cake. It's very accurate, and there's something almost... electrical about the flavour. It's also perfectly cooked thanks to his fiddling with the oven.

Star baker:

Robin! Despite having no prior experience, he really managed to wow everyone with his showstopper. To celebrate he blows all of the fuses in the tent.

[lilac-ravenclaw]

50 OC Questions

These are questions are from @localravenclaw ‘s post. Thanks so much for reading; I would love to read about other MCs!🪻

1. Describe your OC's physical appearance in detail.

She is both Latina (on her father’s side, he was from South America) and British (on her mother’s side). She has long black hair that is usually in a French braid and draped over her shoulder. It’s very wavy when out of the braid. She has lilac color eyes, honestly I haven’t decided from which parent she got them from. She has tan skin and a tiny freckle high on her left cheek, just below her eye. She is petite and has a hourglass figure. She does have a few light scars on her back. The caretaker at the orphanage would verbally and physically “discipline” the children. Raven would try to step in so none of the littler kids would be hurt. She is self conscious about anyone seeing them.

2. Why'd you choose your OC's name?

For most RPGs, my character is always named “Raven”, so for HL it wasn’t any different lol. For her last name, honestly, it was an inside joke. I love the 70s show Fawlty Towers, with John Cleese. It only ran for about a dozen episodes but it’s hilarious. It was the first last name I could think of😄

3. How does your OC feel about their birthday?

Her birthday is Jan. 29, 1874, and she only cares about to a bit because her favorite poem, The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, was first published on that day in 1845. She only starts to care more when Sebastian gives her a birthday gift in their sixth year, which are tiny gold snake earrings. It was her first ever birthday gift ever. (Side note: my birthday is also Jan. 29. I tried to think of another day but making her an Aquarius too just felt right ♒️)

4. How does your OC and their parents get along?

Unfortunately, Raven doesn’t know who her family is. She lived at the orphanage as long as she can remember. She won’t go looking for them, as she figures they would’ve already have come back for her at some point. In my story for her, the caretaker gave her the last name “Fawlty”, (and yes misspelling it on purpose) as another way to torment her. Though she keeps the name to prove to others that she isn’t “faulty”.

5. What's something you'd never put your OC through again?

Being alone. She has too many people around her that genuinely cares. Especially with having Sebastian in her life, she will never be alone again.

6. What's your OC's go-to comfort meal?

Breakfast foods. All kinds, pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, grilled tomatoes, and toast. There’s just something about a nice breakfast that makes Raven feel warm and cozy. It’s the simple things in life🍳

7. What career path would your OC take?

Though she feels it’s expected for her to be an Auror, Curse Breaker or working for the Ministry. Ultimately she has a love for music, specifically singing. She does try out for the choir at Hogwarts. The only person who knew was Poppy and she gave Raven the courage needed to try out their sixth year (now that she wasn’t in the middle of stopping a goblin rebellion!). She also knows how to play the piano too, and taught herself to play, however, she doesn’t know how to read sheets of music. 🎼

8. What's something your OC can't do?

Can’t say no to someone who needs help. Since no one was really there for her growing up at the orphanage, she believes that no one should feel helpless no matter the size of the problem. If she can help, she will!

9. What is your OC's ideal romantic partner?

Someone who will stand by her side and love her no matter what. They make her feel like she does belong and won’t be judged. They believe in her and encourage her to do what makes her happy.

10. Does your OC like to spend time alone or with others more?

Honestly, Raven can go either way. She loves spending time with her friends, especially Sebastian, and does prefer her close circle of friends. Though she is content with taking time for herself by either reading a good book, or practicing her music in the Room of Requirement.

11. What time does your OC usually go to sleep?

Depends really, school nights she’ll try to go to sleep at a decent time, if there isn’t too much homework. On weekends or summertime she’ll stay up late with Sebastian or hanging out with other friends.

12. Where in the sibling order is your OC?

Unknown, as far as she’s aware she is an only child.

13. What's the worst thing your OC's ever done?

Harming the orphanage caretaker. The caretaker was “disciplining” one of the smaller children and accusing them of stealing something from her room. Raven had just about enough of it with her and wished a bookshelf to fly across the room and slam into her. Everything had happened so fast and it took a moment for her to realize that’s exactly what happened. All the other children had looked at her with wide eyes and she quickly grabbed what few possessions she had and ran away. That was a few days before Professor Fig had come to the orphanage to gift Raven her Hogwarts letter. He was able to find her hiding out at a near by in a couple days later.

14. What would it take for your OC to kill someone?

By them hurting someone she loved/cared very dearly about.

15. What item does your OC hold most dear?

A copper cameo brooch given by Sebastian. It was a Christmas present, and was surrounded by little pearls and had the Ancient Magic symbol engraved in the center. She has worn it everyday since.

16. How does your OC unwind?

Practicing her singing and playing piano. She does want to learn how to read sheet music, but ends up just playing from the heart. Of course reading! Broom flying as well, as she finds it therapeutic. Even just relaxing with Sebastian in the Room of Requirement or Undercroft.

17. What's your OC's star sign?

Aquarius! Aquarians are intellectual, curious and can be deeply social. They are represented by the Star card in the tarot. They are determined to make a powerful difference in the world. ♒️

18. What kind of drunk is your OC?

She doesn’t normally drink, but she would be very chatty and giggly.

19. Who does your OC end up with?

Sebastian Sallow. He is her whole world and everything comes naturally with him. Her day doesn’t feel complete until she’s shared it with him. With him she feels anywhere they go, she’ll always be home.

20. Who is your OC's role model?

Professor Fig. He was her first father figure and the first to believe and guide her through such a challenging time. Not only with simply learning how to be a proper witch, but helping her learn about Ancient Magic and taking on a goblin rebellion.

21. Is your OC big on revenge?

Not necessarily. If she can, Raven will tell said person how she feels right then. If it’s minor she won’t go out of her way to get back at them. If it’s critical then she will do what it takes to get back at them.

22. If your OC ever got the chance, would they go back in time? When would they go?

Ultimately no she wouldn’t go back. Through her hardships growing up she believes it made her the woman she is. Though if she could go back, it would be to try and save both Lodgok and Professor Fig.

23. What's your OC's favourite memory?

Getting her Hogwarts letter would be one. She always felt there was something more to her life but didn’t fully understand what. The picnic her and Sebastian went on the summer before their sixth year. They had finally confessed their feelings for each other and had their first kiss.

24. Will your OC ever admit to being wrong?

Always! No one wants to admit they’re wrong but Raven knows it’s the right thing to do. She feels it’s better to put her feelings aside and admit when something is her fault and go from there. Except with Imelda, because she finds it funny to get her all riled up over nothing, especially when it comes to quidditch.

25. Is your OC doomed by the narrative?

Possibly. Not sure where the next game is going to go. All these little things I wrote about Raven is for me only and I fully look forward to see what will happen in the sequel!

26. Would your OC get along with you?

I would think so!☺️

27. What's one thing your OC will never get over?

Her fear of being alone and losing everyone she loves. She went from having no one to having a family in such a short time. To have that all taken away would be heart breaking.

28. Is your OC going to make it?

I’d like to think so. She’s been through so much but each time becomes stronger from it. Plus it helps to have the love of her life by her side. Sebastian gives her that extra boost of strength she didn’t know she needed.

29. Does your OC look their age?

Yes!✨

30. What weird pet would your OC have?

She has a pet Flying Fox Bat named Agnes since her seventh year. They can have a five foot wing span, and she’s basically as long as Raven is tall. So it took a bit for Sebastian to come around with her keeping Agnes. But Agnes is a bit sweetheart and loves being part of the family. Mini story of Agnes was she was living in captivity at the London Zoo and escaped one day. Making her way to the Forbidden Forest, Raven found her alone while taking a hike late one evening. They had an immediate connection and she’s taken care of her ever since. 🦇

31. Does your OC care a lot about their appearance?

Yes and no. Personal hygiene of course. Brushing a braiding her hair, definitely. If it’s a regular day then she does not mind wearing a casual outfit. Going out on a date with Sebastian, then she’ll put on a little makeup and get dolled up more because… why not?💄

32. What's one food your OC can't stand?

French Onion Soup. It was what was mostly served at the orphanage. Yuck!

33. What animal do people associate your OC with?

Probably the same as her Patronus, which is a black bear. That animal is known for their adaptability and resourcefulness. Others will see her as a fierce opponent who will protect herself and those close to her. Only those close to her will know of that softer side she usually keeps hidden away.

34. What's your OC's "thing"?

Depends on what the “thing” refers to… 😅🤔 if it’s behavioral then it’s fiddling with her braid when she’s nervous and can’t figure out what to say, thus being an awkward mess. If it’s material then probably her cameo brooch. If it’s physical then her lilac eyes of course!

35. Random fact about your OC

Despite being Latina, she doesn’t speak Spanish. Because Raven doesn’t know where part of her heritage comes from she never learned.

36. Would your OC sleep with a clone of themself?

…no…🫣

37. What part of yourself do you love in your OC?

Her loyalty to her the people she loves/cares about the most.

38. What's the lowest point in your OC's life?

After being “disciplined” crying herself to sleep and feeling so alone. Wishing and dreaming of a better tomorrow.

39. What's your OC's biggest achievement?

Finding a family. She believes family isn’t about blood, but finding people who will always be there no matter what and accept you for who you are.

40. Does your OC ever go back home?

She considered her “home” to be wherever Sebastian is. The orphanage was never her home.

41. How would your OC adapt to the modern world?

Since she loves music so much I think so. There’s so much emotion to express through music. With that I think she can adapt pretty quickly.

42. Does your OC have any unique talents?

As stated, she sings and plays piano. 🎤🎹 Though it takes a long time to finally share that passion with others.

43. Does your OC exist in canon or AU timeline?

Canon, I think.

44. Is your OC a people person?

Only with those in her inner circle. She will be cordial to others, unless they’re rude to her and then they won’t be worth her time anymore.

45. Did your OC ever have an alternative name?

Whatever her birth name was, but she’ll never know.

46. Does your OC possess any special powers?

Just being able to wield Ancient Magic.✨

47. Is your OC allergic to anything?

Just to people who are rude and mean to others for no reason.

48. Does your OC have a lot of uncommon knowledge? How do they know it?

I guess knowing able everyday muggle things that would seem weird to other people only growing up in the wizarding world.

49. Does your OC have any scars or birthmarks with an interesting story?

She has some scares from being “disciplined”, thankfully she can cover them with everyday clothes.

50. What do you love and hate most about your OC?

I hate that she isn’t real and that the wizarding world isn’t real😆 Otherwise no, I don’t nor can I hate Raven. I love her courage and kindness. That she’ll fight no matter hard things may seem, and always get back up after falling down. She’s had to overcome so much and was alone for so long but now she has a family.🪻💜

If you have finished reading then thank you so much!💜

[arda-ancalima]

Fowl Language

Rating: G Characters: Kazuma Asogi, Gina Lestrade, Barok van Zieks Words: 1,293

For @tgaa-gen-week Day 7 - Free Day (just a little something silly to finish off the week!)

-

When the work day had come to an end at last, Kazuma tried to shake off his irritations. Van Zieks had been especially petty lately, at least it seemed to him, and his patience with the man was wearing thin.

Kazuma paid for the fish and chips and sat down next to Gina on a bench where she was winding her watch.

“Ta,” she mumbled, slipping the watch in her pocket and taking the cone he handed her.

Taking a bite of his piping hot chips, Kazuma watched her through the corner of his eye. She was idly munching on her food while watching people pass with a wistful look in her eye. It didn’t take a great detective to guess she was thinking about the watch’s previous owner.

“Lestrade,” Kazuma said, deciding to cheer her up. “I want you to help me with something.”

“Wot,” she said disinterestedly.

“I want to know how to swear in English.”

Gina glanced at him sidelong. “Come on. You must know. Ya learned English in that fancy university o’ yours, didn’t ya?”

“They don’t teach crude language in the classroom,” Kazuma said, crossing his arms.

“Sure, but weren’t you a sailor and all? You must’ve ‘eard ‘em all then.”

Technically deck hand, a much less impressive job, but he wasn’t about to correct her. “The crew communicated in English, but no one spoke it as their native language. I learned to swear in Russian, Chinese, and Dutch, but not English.”

“Then wot ‘bout while you’ve been livin’ ‘ere? Just go down t’ the pub or somethin’.”

Maybe if he had someone to go with, or had any energy left after a day of keeping up with his mentor’s unrelenting pace. “Look, I know a few words, but you have the most colorful language of anyone I know. I just want a handful of expressions I can use when Lord van Zieks is being a pain. Rattle him a little.”

“Oh. Oh, I get it. It’ll be a prank, then?” Gina got a little gleam in her eye. “I’ll help ya, ‘Sogi.”

Kazuma was pleased to see her perk up. “Great. So what’s a decent insult I could use?”

Humming, Gina considered a moment, then said something in his ear.

“Why are you whispering?” Kazuma said, drawing back.

“It’s impolite t’ say these in public, ya know,” Gina said. “There’s kiddies around.”

There weren’t any within earshot of their bench, but then again she understood British culture better than he did. “I guess so. But that doesn’t sound very rude.”

“Oi, you’re askin’ my advice. I’m the expert ‘ere.”

“Right, right.” Kazuma put up his hands. “How about an exclamation of surprise?”

“Surprise, eh? Ooh, I got one for ya!” She whispered something else to him.

“Hm. I suppose that does sound a bit off-color. Any others I should know?”

“One ya say when you’re proper angry. The worst o’ the lot.” Gina lowered her voice. “The F word.”

Kazuma was intrigued. “What is it?”

Gina glanced around, then pulled him close and whispered a word in his ear.

“Is it really that bad?” Kazuma pulled back with a raised eyebrow. “That sounds like two ordinary words.”

Nodding seriously, Gina said, “Oh yeah. That’ll scandalize ‘im for sure.”

“Good. Well, thanks. He’s going to be shocked when I throw these at him.”

“Oh, ‘e’ll be surprised, all right.”

“I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”

“Ha! I’d like to see that.” Gina went back to her food, munching with more vigor, and Kazuma was satisfied that he had accomplished his mission. At least the first part.

He didn’t have to wait long for the second part, as van Zieks was in a mood again the next day.

“Mr. Asogi, go pick up the autopsy report.”

“Yes, I’ll do that as soon as I’ve—”

“No, do it now.”

Every word of his since he arrived had felt short and prickly, and his instructions were more like demands. Kazuma had enough.

“Fine,” he said. Then just loud enough for van Zieks to hear, he added, “Son of a motherless goat.”

Van Zieks glanced up from his desk with a brief look of bafflement, but his ever present scowl slid back into place. “Why are you still standing there?”

Kazuma sighed and grabbed his coat. It wasn’t as satisfying a reaction as he hoped for, but it was a start.

On another occasion, they were at a crime scene where they learned of evidence that changed their entire understanding of the case.

Kazuma shook his head. “Gee willikers.”

Van Zieks narrowed his eyes as he took in the scene. “That’s certainly one way of putting it.”

Kazuma was a bit surprised van Zieks didn’t chide him for his rude language. It seemed like the sort of thing he would take issue with in his apprentice. But maybe he was so distracted by rethinking the case that he didn’t fully take in what Kazuma said.

Another day, Kazuma had spent hours working out an approach to their prosecution, writing a lengthy report explaining it and double checking his work. When he finished, he explained his theory to van Zieks, going point by point through his argument. Van Zieks listened without interruption, sitting back in his chair with his face as impassive as usual.

“Mr. Asogi,” he said at last. “The argument you have laid out is impressive, and you’ve improved in your presentation.”

Kazuma would have been pleased by the praise, had he not been able to hear the “but” coming from a mile away. He sighed. “What is it?”

“I wonder if you’ve forgotten the first witness we spoke to.”

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head. He had completely forgotten. It dismantled his entire case, and he would have to start over from the beginning.

He was so upset with himself that without thinking he swore terribly.

“Fiddlesticks.”

Van Zieks’ eyes were on him immediately and Kazuma realized what he said. He had been hoping to save that one for when van Zieks really deserved it, and this had been Kazuma’s fault entirely. He would just have to make the most of it.

But van Zieks’ expression changed from neutrality to mirth, and to Kazuma’s great astonishment, he laughed.

It was brief and quickly hidden behind the grim set of his mouth, but Kazuma knew he didn’t imagine it.

Once he had recovered from the shock, he remembered what had made him laugh in the first place and grew indignant.

“W-What’s so funny about all this? I spent all day on that report!”

“It’s not that, it’s—” Van Zieks’ lip quirked upward again. “Where did you learn that word?”

Trying to reign in his embarrassment, Kazuma said, “Wh— does that matter? It’s an expletive, everyone knows that. I might have picked it up in a pub or something.”

Van Zieks shook his head. “Someone has been pulling your chain. I had wondered where the sudden use of innocent exclamations came from.”

“Innocent?!” Kazuma tightened his fists. “You mean fiddlesticks isn’t a dirty word?!”

“I can’t say I know the meaning, but it is regarded as harmless.”

“You teach me something, then. Tell me the worst word you know!”

“No. Now I believe, Mr. Asogi, that you have a great deal of work to catch up on. You better get started.”

“Argh…” I have a certain Inspector I need to pay a visit.

When Kazuma stormed up to Gina’s desk at Scotland Yard, she took one look at his furious face and lit up in glee.

“Did you say ‘em?”

“Darn you, Gina Lestrade,” Kazuma growled, slamming her desk. “Darn you to hell!”

She laughed her face off.

-

Bonus incorrect quote:

Kazuma: Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends: ya basic. It's a cockney insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.

Van Zieks: …?

[punkbakerchristine]

coming up on a year of me baking, so here are some things i’ve picked up on along the way:

read the recipe, especially with baking. if a recipe tells you to do something, it’ll probably tell you. the biggest mistake i see happen with people on the great british baking show (especially the celebrity one) is people overthinking things. a recipe is basically a successful lab experiment that was recorded, so i would listen to them if i were you.

that cooked.wiki/ shortcut is a huge lifesaver. really, i don’t know where i would be without it.

baking is science. cooking is an art. in fact, it wasn’t until around the 18th century when women started entering the kitchen to bake. i.e., this whole trope that baking is a feminine thing flies right over my head.

as mary berry would say, chocolate melts in your pocket. in other words, it literally does not need that much heat in order to be tempered.

if chocolate is shiny, that’s good. if not, turn down the heat and keep going until it is.

good way to save a frosting that’s “split” or curdled in appearance: add some more liquid and keep beating it.

butter is your friend. so is olive oil. hell, any kind of fat is your friend—except margarine. avoid that shit at all costs.

oil is used in spice cakes because butter will turn them into bricks. oil makes it lighter and fluffier.

when you’re adding some more wet ingredients, add a little more flour. this will help balance out the batter. this works the other way, too: add a little more liquid if it’s too dry.

a good method of making chocolate a little more chocolate-y: add a tablespoon of coffee. i did this for the chocolate bailey’s cake on st. paddy’s day and my last two chocolate babkas and the chocolate came out rich and delicious.

cardamom does this with cinnamon and ginger. one of the reasons why i love my recipe for spice cake so much is because cardamom enhances all the spices.

literally the best way to stop yourself from overbeating a batter is pause the mixer as you pour in an egg, dry mixture, whatever. you spare yourself from injury doing this, too.

always flour your surface and rolling pin before you roll out your cookie dough/pie crust/any kind of dough. do the same with powdered sugar for marzipan and fondant, too.

literally watch caramel as its melting down and bubbling because it turns amber in the blink of an eye. another big mistake i see on tv all too often.

the hellofresh kits: their best proteins are their beef, shrimp, and anything ground up. their chicken and their pork can be pretty hit-and-miss, but when they’re good, they’re amazing.

wash your hands after handling any kind of raw meat, eggs, onions, and chili peppers. make sure your knife is sharp and you’re wearing some kind of protection when you’re slicing an onion (something i heard in welding and machine shop a lot whenever i took off my glasses: “nothing worse than a blind engineer.”)

don’t ever let anyone tell you that you have to laugh if things go awry in the kitchen in order to be classified as a good cook or chef. shit’s an emotional experience and you put your heart into the food, probably more than art or writing (and i get emotional over art all the time, and i’ve found i give more of myself in writing than i do art). like… i cried over a quiche.

i actually have mad respect for anyone who does vegan baking. i made a vegan chocolate cake back in january of this year and it was like a crepe 😅

bake what you like. i like spice cakes, anything chocolate, breads, cookies, pies, and tray bakes. i like stuff that’s kind of unusual like babka and anything jewish, canadian, latin, indian, or british. i like aromatic stuff. i like the kinds of goods you get at halloween or christmas, like they’re warm.

if you’re making something like a pot pie or a wellington, something that has an interior that needs to be cooked, cook it beforehand and then put it in the crust and bake it.

you actually don’t always have to blind bake a pie crust, like if it’s a meringue pie or one of those enclosed meat pies you can get in england. it is a good idea if you’re making a tart, a quiche, or any fruit pie, however.

forget pastry: if you can master bread, you can tackle anything.

when you’re baking bread, you don’t necessarily have to bloom the yeast—i guess some authors do this because it wakes up the yeast and preps it for the dough, but moisture + flour will do that trick as is.

keep the salt and yeast on opposite sides of the bowl. salt stunts the yeast and will take longer for the dough to rise.

depending on the type of dough, you can just knead bread with your hands. if anything, this is the best way to do it. go by time, too: my first loaf took me 15 minutes to knead until it felt as smooth as the inside of my arm; really put your arms and shoulders into it, too, make your muscles work (and this was back when i was still over 200 pounds, too).

fewer things in life are more satisfying than kneading bread dough. it’ll make your arms and shoulders nice and strong, too.

good way to tell if your bread is underproved: there’s a big split near the top. if you poke the dough, and it doesn’t bounce back right away, let it proof for longer. if you poke it, and it sort of collapses, it’s overproofed (never been a problem with me because i’m always on top of that, but i see it a lot in my bread making group on facebook).

mnemonic device for remembering the different types of meringues: french meringue starts with “f”, “f” for “foundation”, it’s the most basic meringue with the egg whites, cream of tartar, and sugar. swiss meringue. “sw”. “sweet”. “sweet water.” whip the egg whites over a bain-marie and add the sugar there (swiss meringue inexplicably is a bit sweeter than french). italian meringue is made by pouring a simple syrup into the egg whites so it looks like the boot of italy. at some point, i’ll come up with one for the different types of pastry cream 😅

salt is also your friend, even in sweet goods. especially in sweet goods.

it’s a little difficult to confuse salt with sugar (especially if you’re like me and you keep them in separate cupboards). a mere taste will save you on that, too.

145° is the safe temperature for beef and pork. 165° for chicken. 200° for bread.

iirc: it’s your cheekbone for rare beef. the tip of your nose for medium rare. your chin for medium.

less really is more with baking and cooking. this is another thing that people on baking shows do that drives me nuts (judges often don’t like it, either, believe it or not). you don’t need to add cherry, lemon, ginger, and nuts to that chocolate cake, becky, you can just do the nuts.

i just barely started with sourdough but so far, i’ve learned that with some recipes, when it misses, it REALLY misses. like i made sourdough english muffins a while back: they were good and we ate them at breakfast, but they were weirdly heavy, like hockey pucks.

i actually really don’t like it when there are other people in the kitchen with me. i’ve always been autonomous and did better working alone without any distractions. for this reason, i could never be on a baking show, what with all the cameras in your face and producers running around.

the more you bake, the more you’ll want to turn away from any store bought baked goods.

and finally, i really could not have become a baker at a better time, if i’m honest. i made my first loaf of bread on october 7, when the middle east fell into chaos again and this fated feeling swept over me. food in america is mostly comprised of things that aren’t even food, like high fructose corn syrup—that’s part of why i managed to lose 60 pounds since then, i know what’s going into what i put in my mouth and i can think ahead to what i’m going to eat through the day (and we wonder why american society is having the mother of all health crises, on a physical and mental level: everyone is eating garbage and not getting their vitamins, good fats, good carbs, and proteins, and everyone isn’t treating themselves to something comforting like a donut or a piece of pie). i hope more people realize this, too, like… when shit hits the fan and america descends into chaos itself, turn to those of us with the tools of the trade and like to work with our hands.

[xneon-lucidx]

I have decided that Tumblr Sexyperson HQ is a physical building. Here's some crap I made up about it

Because Sans and Cecil both won tournaments they are now presidents of the HQ, below them is the Sexyman Council (Onceler, Warden, Tony, Bill, Black Hat, Alastor

Members get free therapy because most of them need it, also sometimes they Google themselves and are traumatised

Because of how many members are scientists there's a lab area where they can do experiments and talk nerd shit, some members that use this floor are: Dr Eggman, Jimbotnik, Dr Doofenshmirtz and Flurg

There's also clown and skeleton hang out areas because of how many there are, the skeleton area was designed by Jack Skellington so is very Halloween themed, the clown area is very colourful, has lots of balloons and a ball pit which may or may not have something hiding in there

Some who use the skeleton area are: Sans, Papyrus, Jack Skellington, Lewis Pepper, The Phantom, Itward and the Grim Reaper

Some who use the clown area are: Pennywise, Jevil, Dimentio, Fizzarolli, Ronald McDonald, Buggy and Moon (Sun doesn't like going in cus he's scared of everyone so the room is mostly kept in the dark)

There is a bar and restaurant floor which is also used for parties, any member can get on stage and perform by singing, dancing or doing a comedy routine (Bittergiggle has been banned because every time he tells a joke and no one laughs he has a mental breakdown)

For the ones who either don't have a home or do but it's shit, membership also offers living quarters which are basically small apartments (the more popular they are they bigger and nicer their rooms are) some people who live in the building are: Onceler, Bendy, Spamton, Jevil, Warren (tho he probably lives in a closet)

Sans and Cecil don't decide who's a member and who get's kicked out, it's up to the fans. Sans and Cecil get to decide things to do with the building and events

Alastor refuses to appear at any fan meet n greets because he hates his fans

Baldi and Purple Guy are best friends cus they both really fuckin hate kids

Ban Ban is a member for some reason but he doesn't visit a lot due to the fact no one likes him

Bendy follows Alastor around like a lost puppy because he thinks he's cool (Charlie thinks he's adorable)

Dancing Banana hosts quiz shows where sexymen compete, it's very popular, he also hosts interviews

Sun and Papyrus get along very well and hang out a lot, Sans always stays close by incase the lights go out because Moon is a bitch

Dimentio takes full advantage on how strong Jevil is and has mind controlled him several times, Jevil does not remember any of it other than suddenly appearing in a different location feeling dazed

Duck thinks he's the best sexyman, Sans just goes along with it, he doesn't care enough to argue

Red Guy is like a royal British guard as in people like to do weird shit in front of him to get him to react…no one has gotten one yet

Itward is the Dad friend to everyone, he's good at comforting and lends an ear for venting

The Phantom speaks perfect English but he often pretends he only knows French so he can avoid people

King Dice will sometimes co-host Dancing Bananas shows unless he's busy

Zim, Peepers and Marvin will fight constantly and once they enter a room people will start to leave

Mettaton hates how both Sans and Spamton are so much more popular than him since one is lazy and the other lives in the trash (and has tiny legs)

Onceler and Warden are best friends and share one brain cell (their friendship is similar to Arin and Dans from Game Grumps)

Papi will often bring Popee with him which no one is happy with because he is very explosive (literally) except Moon he encourages the chaos and has pretty much adopted him

Everyone has collectively made a rule that no one may upset Papyrus, anyone who does is shunned and excluded

There is an ongoing war between Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders where they both try to put up the most ads for their food places

Sans has a fancy penthouse apartment he only uses for naps, there's toys in it for when Frisk is over as well

Even after everything that happened, Jevil is still good with kids and won't hurt them, one time he found Frisk sitting alone as Sans was in a meeting so he played with them and showed them magic tricks until it was done

Every so often Shrignold will show up and ship everyone with everyone, no one likes him and Tony will have to search the whole building to catch him and kick him out

Larry sees everyone's dreams, he has seen some shit and isn't sure whether Spamton or Jevil have the weirder ones

Slenderman is like a sim, he will walk over to people and join their conversations although he doesn't speak, he just stands there menacingly

The Smiler is there sometimes, no one knows why but they've just accepted it, the people at Alton Towers are still trying to figure out why is keeps disappearing tho

The Onceler has been woken up on several occasions in the early hours of the morning because Spamton and Jevil decided to have a competition on who can make the most noise and keep the other awake (their rooms are right next to each other)

Jevil and Popee are an awful combination, they have lit many fires, Fizzarolli is afraid

The Warden in in charge of security, he has placed cameras everywhere

As part of the agreement when they were taking Jevil he is not allowed to leave the building on his own and has to wear an ankle monitor which will also shock him if he tries to leave

When Tony first arrived he made sure every room has a clock so everyone always knows the time

[safetycar-restart]

What a good result for Mercedes in the Spanish Grand Prix! Finally all that hard work paying off, how do you think the boys would be celebrating in the poly!mercedes universe?

We haven’t discussed the poly!Mercedes verse nearly enough and this is absolutely the perfect time for it.

For anyone new or anyone who just needs a refresher, the poly!Mercedes AU is an off shoot of the d/s au where you're in a relationship with Toto and Mick. You're still the team dom so you still dom Lewis and george as well, but you're not in a relationship with them. And also, Mick is kinda like a team sub? He gives everyone cuddles and lets everyone fuck him and honestly he's about 90% of team morale (the other 10% comprises of lewis's fashion, george's britishness and bono, just bono).

So when the team gets a double podium, everyone is ECSTATIC. It took so much hard work to finally get to this point and now everyone gets to enjoy it.

Mick spent the latter part of the race in toto's lap, straddling him with his head against toto's headphone to hear the radio messages. He wasnt even watching the screen, too scared that something might go wrong.

You spend the latter half of the race between the pit crew, watching together with them and hoping you're presence might settle them a little (it does).

So when Lewis and George finally cross the finish line, you rush back to Mick and Toto. Toto has stood up, taking Mick with him and Mick is clinging to toto's front, his legs wrapped tightly around toto's waist to keep himself up. You come up behind them, standing on your tippy toes to press a kiss to mick's lips.

The podium is so good. Lewis and George throw themselves at the team, enjoying the moment and finally getting the recognition they deserve.

Most team members go out that night to celebrate, and you expect them to do the same. But no, none of your boys want to do that.

Instead, Lewis insists on what he dubs a 'family dinner'. Which is you, George, Mick, Toto, a couple engineers, Angela and any family members who were at the track. It's quite a few people, but it's an oddly quiet affair.

Despite not having any reservation, Lewis manages to get the entire back section of a restaurant, though that shouldnt be too surprising considering that he's Lewis Hamilton.

You order for Mick and George, and pour their drinks too. Mick doesn't even have his own seat, he goes from person to person, giving everyone kisses and cuddles and sitting on their laps until he gets called to someone else. When his food arrives, he sits on toto's lap and gets fed by you and Lewis.

George sees this and immediately demands a lap of his own and so he ends up on lewis's, so happy he's practically purring.

Once the dinner is finished, many of the people there head out to go celebrate somewhere else. But lewis, George, Toto and Mick want to go back to the hotel. Mick has spent the latter part of the dinner cuddled up on toto's lap, a small smile on his face as he drifts in a light subspace. His pleasure and happiness is infectious, making all of you soft and happy, ready to head back to the hotel.

I think when you get back to the hotel, the best is to scene with Lewis and George? Mick sits in the corner with Toto, cockwarming him and listening to the sounds of Lewis and George. Toto watches the scene, keeping a hand in mick's hair to ground him.

You make Lewis fuck two orgasms out of George before he can cum, knowing that Lewis loves a challenge. Maybe you ride George's face at the same time? George is in absolute heaven.

and of course the scene ends with all of you cuddling together, George and Mick wedging themselves in the middle.

[duchessofostergotlands]

I want to say something about Kate visiting the baby bank today: first at all, I'm glad she did it, I think it was smart programming the visit now, at the beginning of the spring, because this is the time people clean their closet and give away the clothes they and/or their children have grown out of. However, and what I'm about to say doesn't reflect on today Kate's engagement, it baffles me how food banks are always framed as proof of people's generosity and not as the government's failure. I mean, I'm fine with royals visiting them and making deals with companies to provide goods and gifting them fridges but it makes me made when Rishi Sunak or Biden does it because there is a link between their policies and people having to rely on the genosity of strangers to survive. They volunteer in centers as if poverty is a chronic disease that can't be beaten and not the result of their policies.

You're right about food banks and such, I agree entirely. I'm saying that up front because the way I write can sound really blunt and I want you to know that it's not how I'm saying it in my head, we're on the same page about the important stuff! But 1) we can natter on about how they shouldn't exist until the cows come home - in fact, most charities shouldn't exist if society functions properly - but you can't erase poverty overnight and in the meantime people can't feed and clothe their children today, tomorrow and the day after. It's shameful that in a wealthy country we have so many children living - and dying - in poverty, but we do so I think anyone who sees others in distress and takes action in the way they can to try and meet the immediate, urgent need is doing more than most of us and that is commendable and 2) most importantly, Kate is not Rishi Sunak. I have seen Tory politicians visiting food banks and praising them and my reaction to that is the same as your reaction! The Tories caused this and so when they go to a food bank it feels like blatant cruelty, looking someone in the eye when you put them in this position and then acting like you can't do anything when in reality you just don't want to. But Kate's not a politician. She didn't cause poverty. And she can't be partisan so even if she agrees with us she absolutely cannot say that. If you think about it your message could go for literally any charity they visit or project they set up. Think about all the mental health in schools work. Kate set up Mentally Healthy Schools. If our government stepped in and provided mental health support in every school, mandatory training for school staff, and better financial resources then Mentally Healthy Schools wouldn't need to exist. It is a product of our government's failures, just like baby banks are. But the bulk of Kate's job is to champion charities, frame them as an example of the best of British society, and not mention the government's failures. That's constitutional monarchy for ya!

[hermesserpent-stuff]

SO a person asked about silver sable in present day for the 'of tombstones and timetravel au' and while i dont have stuff for that we do have some lovely conversations with silvermane in the present day, the poor confused old man dealing with a time traveling waiter!peter.

K for @kzele H for hermes 

So theses are some conversations betweens silvermane and peter and tombstone and silvermane. 

Warning for platonic yandere in tombstone towards peter. Under the cut because LONG

Basics 

Peter takes a shortcut into the Italian section of town and runs into Sable. 

K: *bump* "Oh, sorry!" "My bad" ". . .Wait a minute." "Oh, crap." *books it*

H: Silvermane: wait Hold on! " But Peter is already three blocks away

He later sees peter on TV near Lincoln at some sort of gala event chatting

K: [silvermane] tries researching him to find him and figure out what is actually going on.

And then the conversation when they talk again after Silvermane has done his research. 

K: Asks him [peter] how he hasn't aged and does not buy having a really good skincare routine. Peter still had to try, though.

H: Peter: That was... My grandfather? Silvermane: *not impressed*

K: Peter: "I mean, there isn't really a plausible response to this that's normal, too."

H: Slivermane: I suppose that's true.

K: Peter: "Remember 'Back to The Future?' Or read 'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court?' It'll be easier to explain if you have.

H: Silvermane: "... Like that one British show from the 70s?"

K: Peter: *sighs* ". . .How familiar are you with time-travel in general?"

H: Silvermane: Stares at him a little blankly."one episode of doctor who back in the day. Daughter was dating a nerd at the time. Are you trying to tell me you time traveled kid?"

K: Peter: "Seeing as I was born no earlier than sixteen years ago, with full family records proving it, and no signs of aging since you last saw me. what do you think?"

H: Silvermane: "... Point taken. Any particular reason you decided to hang around Tombstone both now and in the past?"\

K: Peter: "Uhh, funny story. I landed on him by accident when I was thrown (also by accident) in the past. We fought, I trash-talked and flipped him, and he found that funny. *mumbles* Masochist. *clears throat* Then, he happened to see me in the present and wanted answers, too."

*shrugs* "He's seemed like he needs a friend (if only to keep him from being too much of an edgelord). *pauses* A favor? For what?"

H: Silvermane: "I still owe you from back in the day. So. If you need something done, I'm here. I don't pass those out lightly."

K: Peter: "Thanks? I'm not sure what you needed to repay considering you always made sure to tip. What did I really do besides waiting on you? Do you take knowing your food preferences that seriously?"

H: Silvermane: *silvermane isn't gonna spell it out but definitely is staring at the kid with a quirked eyebrow* "I do. Good waitstaff is always important. Especially when they go above and beyond"

K: Peter: *Peter is now officially of the mindset that all crime lords are weird* "Alrighty then, I'll be sure to save that for a rainy day. Oh, hey, did you run afoul of Tomby while you were looking for me? He has a tendency to threaten people when I'm not around. Sometimes for stupid reasons, too."

H: Silvermane: "he had some... Choice words for me. He's still a punk at heart."

K: Peter:*groans* "I'll bet he did. The only difference between now and then when it comes to threats is that he uses subtler phrasing for plausible deniability."

H: Silvermane:*small snort and eye roll* "Watch out for yourself kid. World's a dangerous place. And as much as I think that punks on your side, he's grown a lot more dangerous over the years. Keep an eye open." *Starts walking away*

K: Peter: "That goes for you, too. I'd make it miserable for him if he tried anything on me and anyone I know, but I can't watch over you as easily. I'm not dumb enough to think that he won't make an attempt to off you sooner or later, especially if he knows you talked to me."

H: Silvermane: "Oh, I've been in this game a long time Peter. It's not like no one tried to kill me in prison. You don't need to worry about it." *Dramatic exit*

Here is the conversation with Tombstone and Silvermane:

 K: What do you think a convo between Tomby and Silvermane would sound like? You said that both prob lost their cool

H: mmmm i think tomby would be very very much like stay away from peter. I dont care what you think you might owe him. doesnt matter. keep away from the kid. and silvermane woud be like/: this isnt your town. Tomby: ah but it is now. your time in prison has left your empire to crumble to ruins 

K: Yikes, and Silver would not like that one bit. Shoots back that it won't be for long and Tombstone's like, "uh huh, sure. You already had your shot." Then, Silvermane is like, "Well, you def don't own the kid. That's one thing that he's made clear: you're not his boss or guardian and it's not your business if he talks to me."

At this tombstone loses his cool. Kezle and I agreed that Silvermane sort of cares about Peter. 

H: [Silvermane] knows that holding the eyes of a crime boss is often a danger for people. also that look in tomby's eyes is very dangerous and very possessive. more possessive than it had been when the guy had been a young punk

K: He's like, "Bruh, your yandere is showing and it's not super healthy for Peter for you to be like this."

H: Tombstone: "shut up old man."

K: Silvermane: "It's friendly advice, you jumped-up punk. You'll lose him and your friendship if you try to control who he talks to. Peter isn't the type to let you get away with that."

H: Tombstone:*tombstone narrows his eyes* "I dont think you truly understand either of us."

K: SIlvermane: "How's that? Are you going to try and tell me that he's fine with you threatening me right now? Or is there something else I'm supposedly missing?"

H: Tombstone: Tombstone doesn't want to admit that the man may be right. Not even to himself. He stays silent for a moment. "Peter may not always agree with my methods. But we do share a lot of goals. Goals that are not benefited by you over involving yourself in his life."

K: Silvermane: *snorts* "Goals. And how am I interfering with these conveniently vague 'goals' by simply talking to him?"

H: Tombstone: Tombstone thinking about the risks of Silverman finding out Peter is Spider-Man if he is near him too frequently. "I'm sure you'd feel much the same if someone was talking too frequently to your daughter."

K: SIlvermane: "And now we're back to the fact that she is MY kid. And now an adult. You don't have that claim to Peter to make that decision for him. Only his par-guardian does."

H: Tombstone: "Someone has to look after him. Especially with the circles he accidentally falls into. No disrespect to his Guardian but she is not prepared to make the proper decisions. "

K: Silvermane: "Are you going over the Parkers' heads for his sake or yours? And even if it is for his sake, how many times can you do that without becoming a part of the problem?"

H: Tombstone: "..." Tombstone doesn't have an answer for that. It is a concern he holds. Peter had run off before when he had been in the past. He had also chosen not to speak with Tombstone as soon as he had returned to the present. Tombstone wants, no, needs to be the person Peter turns to and keeps that kid safe. But it could go awry so easily…

"Peter cannot always see the full picture."

K: Silvermane: "Neither can you apparently, considering you're making threats to someone who doesn't want to hurt him and has no intention of ever doing so."

H: Tombstone: "..." Now tomby really doesn't know what to say. Sure, silvermane has no intentions of hurting Peter now. Now being the key word. But tombstone is not confident that even Peter's charming personality can save him from the potential fallout of his secret identity. He knows how Silvermane handled rats and snitches in the past and a secret heroes fate is bound to be far worse.

[herecirmsims]

15 Questions Tag Game

Thank you @alpine-lapine​​ for the tag! I’ll put the questions and answers below a cut so as not to clog the timeline. Random story screenshot above, just because.

Are you named after anyone? Yeah, a person my mum met while backpacking during her gap year.

When was the last time you cried? I stabbed myself in the eye a few weeks ago on some rush grass, I cried then. It left an ulceration across my cornea (which apparently has the most nerves in the eye?) and was UNBELIEVABLY painful. I spent a couple days unable to see because moving the damaged eye (which I couldn’t open anyway) meant it rubbed against my eyelid and hurt like hell, and I had to keep my good eye closed to avoid the temptation to move my eyes to look at things. I don’t recommend, tbh.

Do you have kids? Absolutely not.  😅

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really. I s’pose I might be peak British and say “Oh yeah it was fucking amazing” if someone asks how a bad situation went.  🤔 I enjoy sarcasm when I understand it/know the person using it, but otherwise it stresses me out when people say things they don’t mean.

What sports do you play/have you played? None competitively, I don’t really enjoy them.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their energy, which is the most hippyish response I could’ve said.  🤣

Eye colour? Blue-grey, somewhere in between.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings! I enjoy a lot of angst on the way there, though. The angst makes the happy ending sweeter, I think, but I like to know that it will end well. Nothing worse than investing myself in a story only to be left feeling sad and empty at the end of it.

Any special talents? Hmm... no. I’m quite good at finding things - noticing small insects or interesting things amongst the stones at the beach, stuff like that.

Where were you born? In the UK.

What are your hobbies? The vast majority of my hobbies are Sims related - storytelling, posemaking, playing. I also enjoy looking for old bottles in Victorian dumps (a lot of farms have them round here), looking for cool things on the beach, bug-hunting, growing vegetables, archery, writing fantasy, hiking.

Do you have any pets? Yes! I have a cat (an ex feral kitten) called Belleraphon or Bel for short, two ponies called Cash and Joey (though they’re really my partners. One was bought because he was going through sales, and with his issues my partner knew he’d have a bad outcome - he’s not ridden and lives in retirement with us. The other was given to us for free by a roofer we had in, and we took him because he’d been living on his own for four years - equines absolutely need company), and two mules called Marty and Xato who are mine (my own! My precious! I bought one for £1 and the other was given to me. I don’t talk about them much in my Sims community circles but I’m obsessed with them... mules are absolutely my number one special interest).

How tall are you? 5′3″

Fave subject in school? English and Media Studies

Dream job? I'd still say author, though whether I’ll ever get over my perfectionist trait and publish anything is another issue. I enjoy writing drabbles for myself, and I enjoy my Sims story which is god-awful but I embrace that - it’s been really freeing just to put down whatever I want to read, and share without overthinking anything. It would be nice to earn money from things I enjoy, but that then puts pressure on them.

I’m not tagging anyone because I tarried and I think everyone who I would’ve tagged has done this already, so if you see this then it’s an open invitation. 

And because I think people might ask, and I can’t resist talking about them a teeny tiny bit... here are my mules. Marty, on the left, was photographed here on his way to the shops; Xato, on the right, was helping me carry sacks of pulled hemlock up to the bonfire. Marty is my going out and about mule (he also does litter-picking, takes bottles to the recycling centre, carries food and luggage on long hikes), and Xato is the work-on-the-farm mule. Though neither have done much at all for a while because sometimes I’m not very good at walking.  😅 

[kendrixtermina]

I have officially lost all belief in human progress or that western civilization is anything other than a fraud

all these people are basically livetweeting their deaths and no one DOES anything

So much for the UN, the long arc of history or 'never again'.

videos of ppl outright mocking the victims like "we have water and you don't"

so much propaganda it puts the WWI meat factory thing to shame, no wonder no one knows what to believe

the constant shaming and actionism and guilt-tripping as if panicking helps anyone

How many babies to need to be killed till it's no longer "self defense"?

RIOTS ARE ALWAYS A FAILURE OF THE AUTHORITIES. It doesn't matter if anyone 'condones' killing (I don't), but, you mistreat people, some of them WILL riot. I'm not saying it's great, or they should, but they WILL. Human fucking nature. Israel had all the power there; They created conditions where ppl will riot.

Who is dumb enough to believe there's always conveniently a base under everything they bomb? Even if there was, I assume Hamas have legs & can walk away, whereas the civilian infrastructure STAYS destroyed.

And even if you get all the baddies, what then? In 5 seconds you'd have a new, worse group out for vengeance for their slaughtered family members, burning with the same "rightheous" fury as you

We can debate about labels all you want, but there's no way cutting off water to a large city isn't an attemt to kill-em-all. Same for bombing the place they were told to go

On the other hand... Ppl's tendency to shove everything into the currently popular framework... the colonization thing certainly applies in many respects and it was in some ways smart of the activists to frame it that way, but, you can send the British back to Britain, where are you gonna send the israelis? You realize you're not getting them moved anywhere without yet more atrocities? So big side eye when ppl go putting 'Israel' in quotation marks, I do wonder what course of action they're implying. I can't in good conscience tell ppl not to be triggered or scared over it.

I get that it's not just to expect anyone to 'be the bigger person'. But someone has to. They pulled it off in Rwanda. Do you want "justice" or peace? You can't have both. How about no more killing of anyone.

Biden was kinda coming near to saving himself with the union stuff he's been doing, but now he's shat the bed bigtime which is a problem cause there's no viable replacement. If only a competent person with a spine were in his place. I mean, China & Russia doing shit? Ok, they're nuclear powers, no one can stop them. But Israel? If the west threatened to close the money faucet they'd play ball. They're all just too gullible, too chicken, or perfectly happy with the outcome. Biden blew it; I think out of incompetence more than malice, but they're functionally indistinguishable at this point.

Europe doesn't believe in free speech apparently. Ashamed to live in Mitläufer-Land and the spineless peninsula union, apparently.

The spikes of islamophobia and antisemitism all over the world

ppl trying to use this to push antisemitic conspiracy theories or hindu-nationalism, (wasn't collective punishment and category brainrot exactly the problem? I guess some are just looking for any excse to terrorize ppl)

ppl too busy for-us-or-against-us-ing celebrities and making yet another orthodoxy discourse out of it, like that won't do the opposite of convince ppl

Did I mention DEAD BABIES GALORE?? That oughta dwarf everything else, really. It's bad enough on its fucking own. There shouldn't be anything left to say. They all look like my siblings to me. But those are all alive in a warm house with food in the fridge and I' gonna see them tomorrow.... and their families won't.

entire bloodlines wiped out. Not even people left to remember them

I lived in a small village with 10 thousand inhabitants once. When I see the death toll, I picture that entire village wiped out, or multiples or fractions of it. Everyone one would interact with every day, the teachers, the neighbor's kids, the croissant lady. 'cept ppl in Gaza were so piss poor they probably ain't seen a croissant in their lives.

So this is what it's like, to see something like that happening

there are all those posts of one person after another being wiped out, families whittled down till there's nothing left

Yes, you could drag Netanyahu to the hague, and they should, but will that even matter? That won't un-kill those ppl or un-destroy the infrastructure.

Something irreversible has been done.

Something irreversible is done each time one of those lives is casually snuffed out