#do you…still want me in your life…
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
…I’m so sorry… 💔
#…#I’m so so sorry…#I want to put back all the pieces together again..#you are worthy of love caring kindness and so much more#oh god why did things have to be this way…#I’m so sorry to have created all this pain misery fear anxiety and so much more on you…#I wish I could go back in time and prevented this timeline…#time please heal…#I can’t change what happened…but I can change the future…#all I can do is work on myself and wait…#I’ll never let that happen again…#I had the whole world and everything in my hands and I messed it up#I want to fix things between us…#is…there any hope…left…things will be better#how desperately I want you…#I want to earn your trust again..#im so lonely…#is this how you felt…#im…so…sorry…#losing you is the biggest mistake in my life…#losing you is the biggest regret of my life#do you…still want me in your life…#i desperately do…#but if you don’t…#……..#please…wake up…#please!
0 notes
Text
i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
probably will be FORCED by Pomp And Circumstance to go to the CLOWN HOSPITAL, for a CLOWN INJURY (may or may not be An ALLEGEDLY Fractured Foot...a MOURNFUL MALADY incurred in the most PATHETIC and LAPSIDAISICAL Fashion of TRAGICALLY UNFASHIONABLY Events......
Anyway. Forgot what I was saying. Buy me 1/25th of an x-ray or whatnot I guess
#ASK ME#ASK ME HOW I ALLEGEDLY BROKE MY FOOTSIE BONSIES!!!!#shall come up with a different answer EACH time and they shall ALL be curious concerning and browraising#no but really ASK ME i have SO. MANY. ANSWERS.#(the actual answer isn't even mundane if anything it is...Up There.)#(my personal curse is the inability to give a straight answer Even And Especially when the actual accurate answer is funnier!#sometimes the actual truth of the matter is funnier! life just works like that occasionally!!!#and still it is my duty--my god calling--to decieve#anyways an object fell on me or I fell on an object. that object maybe or may not be a planet. or may or may not be an undisclosed oblong.#or both. or neither. mind your business before i suck your tax evaded beeswax right under you#...i May be slightly loopy on the adrenaline aftermath of (ALLEGEDLY) breaking some damn bones#I'm cranky and i want to hobble to the kitchen to Procure some Frozen Breakfast Food#and yet i am bound to bed for the sake of Elevating The Limb#I Am Basically Tantalus Do You Comprehend I Am Tantalus I Am A Tortured Mythological Figure And You Are Standing By Like Impotent Cupbearer#s#YOU ARE AN IMPOTENT CUPBEARER AND I AM PROMETHEUS SCREECHING AS MY INNARDS ARE WOVEN INTO STATEMENT ART#......motherfricker my ice pack is leaking
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
693 notes
·
View notes
Text
etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex
(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)
Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.
#why is this what makes me post again#tangtho#etho#ethoslab#tango#tangotek#tango tek#bdubs#bdoubleo100#bangtho#< saw that in etho's comments. and. yeah#also consider that tango and bdubs were together first this series and etho is the third wheel#to the fucked up love hate thing they have going on#there's never been something more appreciating and adoring BUT biting each other as tangdubs#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft s10#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#(Sorry but some people have ethubs blinders on but that's so much less interesting to me than the whole.#Yes bdubs is pathetic and will always be at etho's feet. and Yes etho will pity bdubs and want him protected.#but tangtho (!!!) has SO much more to play with...to Me.)#and Why is etho being a tango girl so under-noticed??? lmao. it's there to be noticed All the time#hot mic! hot mic!#but also lowkey dreading ep2 lmao#anyway I'll regret posting this lol#(also I see you asks in my inbox. sorry I haven't replied yet <3 re: s7 oh do I have thoughts! it's where it truly kinda began... I started#forming a reply to you back in May I think but I've been kinda averse to posting/participating in the fandom side for a while. sorry I#stopped being a good place for your tangtho snippets </3 I've still been watching and enjoying the streams and the tango etho joy continues#just haven't really felt like posting)
732 notes
·
View notes
Text
my text disappeared here when i posted. what happened
#annyways whats the deal with the panicau. im not talking about like popularity or anythin g#why does n have the evil triangle solver and uzi is a ghost thats evil but also not and theres teeth??? in visor??????#i dont understand anything about it but the artstyle looks cool so i can ignore that#havent drawn this large in a while but i needed to do it for the pc screen to not be Totally crushed#a little crushing is ok. as a treat#i think i took this idea from a post i saw once but i cannot find it again for the life of me#and very intelligent prior me decided not to link it to myself so. lost media#still trying to figure out how i want to draw drone heads slash visors and have been since i started drawing md stuff#losing it#spent like an hour trying to draw something else before giving up and doing this instead#if youre lucky ill actually do it eventually#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#do i even tag mdpanic?? does this count???#constantly afraid ill mess up tagging#which is something you can do and i might be doing#and also thats a joke. hopefully
555 notes
·
View notes
Text
Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
471 notes
·
View notes
Text
they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
582 notes
·
View notes
Text
#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
459 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
525 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: I'm not a bat
Mr pages: (stuffing novels under its robe): I must abscond
#I have a lot of other bits I've collected but don't want to overwhelm the tag#I really would suggest motr and to play it as like. I like it for giving us a day to day slightly more grounded neath life#I think fallen london is a great setting well conveyed in total but motr is way more fleshed out in a “you're just a guy” way#I also really like the character writing. The gameplay to solve the mysteries is quite obtuse in total but I used a hint guide so it was#I knew what to do bc I would NOT have succeeded otherwise. But experiencing it was still fun#I'm quite torn on how good an intro it is for FL. I think that depends on your genre of choice but as a world introduction...#Idk!! In theory it's probably good. But I'd need to hear from people who went through it as their first to say. It touches on a bit of it a#Mask of the rose spoilers#Fallen london#for virginia and milton teaming up to bully you + mr pages ridiuclous comedy of a life it's worth it to me
249 notes
·
View notes
Text
This fic is leaving rent free in my head since a week so go read it: Haunting by @iiidunno : https://archiveofourown.org/works/54832273/chapters/138984958 [Edit] ok I put half a BG 'cause really It was bothering me
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#never drawn something so complex kill me#Yes I gave up on the color halfway#Anyway the pictures are just here to lure you into reading this fic who again PRINTED in my brain#I want to apply for SW zines so I thought I should draw more complex art#turn out it takes times#idk zine people you tell me#tell me I love doing zines OvO#I mean I will apply to your zine but not with my sw art this will be awkward#ANYWAY I drew theses scenes#it's out of my mind#I can sleep now#god its 3 am what am I doing with my life#The anatomy is flatten on the ground but can only draw weird camera angles or I die#I still think this could be more dynamic but again#drawing people interacting is hard#ok bye
560 notes
·
View notes
Text
Elsa, Anna, and Four!! It is actually a miracle I got this one done lol; as you can imagine, life has been pretty hectic! I had a lot of fun doing Anna and Elsa's outfits, and I choose to portray them after the first movie, because (hot take) I didn't like the ending of the second movie 😅 Also, I think their original outfits are more recognizable and more fun to do 😁
I think Four would get along great with Anna and Elsa; not only do they personify teamwork and learning to love people who are different from you, which is very important to Four, but I imagine they would also treat him like a little brother and accept him quickly. Furthermore, Elsa would understand him and give him advice regarding his secret of the true power of the Four Sword. And in regards to Anna, her childlike, energetic personality would probably remind Four a lot of both his Zelda and of the Minish.
Anna is extremely welcoming and her contagious smile would probably cheer up Four, and I imagine that he sees semblances of Elsa and Anna's personality traits in himself (Vio like Elsa and Red like Anna). I also think that they would be understanding regarding all the trials he went through during his adventures, and Four would love having two honorary big sisters!! I hope you all like it!! 🩵🩵🩵
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#disney princess x lu#digital art#myart#art#frozen#disney frozen#elsa and anna#anna and elsa#arendelle sisters#life has been totally crazy but I am still finding some time to unwind and do art before bed which is nice#thank you to everyone who has been praying and sent me encouraging notes#i am so grateful for your support!!🩵#my creativity is kinda suffering rn lol#i really want to finish this series though and then work on art requests!!#lu four#legend of zelda#click the image for better quality!
272 notes
·
View notes
Text
older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
259 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
165 notes
·
View notes