#do you think we're that stupid? i mean maybe my whole class was but i just sat there in that unit absolutely baffled

[punksonic]

i don't think it's appropriate for me to really speak much as to the current shortages of adderall and other medications associated with treating adhd but i feel like i should.

yes these medications are abused, but no one wants to look into why someone who doesn't have adhd would take it. why do you think some supposedly neurotypical college student elbows another who has adderall and asks for some to study for an exam worth half their grade?

the DEA is out of touch with american society to the point it still thinks marijuana is a C1 drug but doesn't want to declassify it to C2 so that the process can be overseen so people don't get their marijuana accidentally laced with something else. you'd sooner prescribe someone a blood thinner than a medication that would actually help them focus, but i guess that's not up to me.

it's ridiculous. maintenance medications shouldn't be held to this degree of scrutiny.

[uravitypng]

Hi! I love your Bully!Tsukishima posts <3 I was wondering what would happen if his princess arrived to class with a bruise that he didn’t make? She’d deny everything at first, using an excuse style “I tripped” “fell on the shower”…but he wouldn’t believe that crap, not one bit!

I kinda want to see more of protective Tsukishima >_<

🍓:3

i'm glad you like my bully!tsukki posts!! this idea took awhile to flesh out and hopefully you like the way this turned out. this is slightly different from the regular protective tsukishima as this bruise was accidental <33

tsukishima remembers every little thing about you, remembers every fact, every mannerism, every freckle, scar and curve of your body so of course he clocked immediately when you walked into class with a bruise just peaking out of the top of your blouse. it's barely visible as the blouse covers most of it and he thinks you may have tried to cover some of it with make up but with it right above your cleavage it's obvious to him.

the entire time all he can think about is you, which isn't uncommon in the slightest, but this time it's all focused on the bruise and how you got it.

he knows for a fact it isn't one of his, plus if for some reason he had forgotten about it you would remember and know better than to ever try and cover it up.

after class you leave quickly, purposefully avoiding making eye contact with tsukishima. you have a feeling he's spotted the bruise that has started forming on your soft skin, as you walked in you spotted him and saw his eyes harden as his eyes looked to where your bruise is. it was just a coincidence you looked over towards him though... it's not like whenever you turn up late and he's there before you you look to see if he's in his regular seat... it's not like you were checking to see if he's here yet or anything...

you turned up late today because you were trying to find clothes that would cover the bruise, all the clothes that would cover it are clothes you're currently washing or are dirty and need to be washed. because of that you spent longer than you wanted to finding something that you felt comfortable wearing and covered as much as possible but you had a feeling after you left your dorm that maybe you should of spent longer finding something because tsukishima might notice, even if it was only a sliver of it visible, and you were right. he did notice.

you were a little too slow leaving the class though because tsukki was able to catch up to you. he looks at your bruise and his eyebrows furrow, loosely clasping onto your wrist and taking you somewhere quiet, neither of you speak yet. you're getting use to this routine of him stealing you away.

he turns to you and crosses his own arms, "talk." you nibble your lip and try to shift your eyes away from him, looking down.

"i... uh... tripped," you say nervously.

"liar."

you pause for a second running through excuses in your head but the whole time tsukishima's waiting patiently, ready to hear if you're going to lie again.

you take a deep breath and look up at him. you can tell him. he won't believe any of your excuses anyway.

"um.. someone accidentally flicked me with a ruler and well..."

there's a pause and you continue looking up at him. "no."

"what... what do you mean no?" you say baffled, you're honestly being truthful right now.

"i promise that's what happened. a friend of a friend was messing and joking around. he had this stupid ruler in his hand and was waving it about and then he playfully flicked me with it. he didn't think it would bruise or even hurt and it didn't hurt! ... that much. it was stupid and an accident." you explain further, wanting him to believe you.

"who was it?" he straightens his back and asks without displaying any emotion in his face or tone.

"we're not doing this again tsukki. it was an accident, just an accident. i'm not giving you any name." you think back to the bully incident.

tsukishima's lip twitches in annoyance. "tell me." you say no again. "i'm sure one of your friends will tell me."

your eyes go wide at the subtle threat, you have a gut feeling that he would be able to get one of your friends to tell him who it was. it really was an accident though.

"one last chance princess."

you hold onto his arm, almost startling him at the sudden contact. "please kei, don't. i promise it was an accident. they were really sorry afterwards and felt really bad about it. they even offered to pay for the drink i had to say sorry."

tsukishima's expression softened momentarily at the use of his given name before going back to normal. maybe he could leave it alone and not do anything about it but you said it hurt, even if it was only a bit. "you told me he hurt you," he starts to pull away from you to leave but you don't let him and hold onto him tighter.

"please kei. it was a mistake. it will fade in a couple days anyway, it's only a light mark. come on, tsukishima." you plead, still holding yourself against his arm to keep him from leaving.

his resolve weakens the more he feels your soft warm body press against him and the idea that the bruise is only light is making him think about how he can cover it with his own bruise, giving you a huge hickey so for now he relents, something he never thought he'd do. the only reason he isn't really chasing after who did it right now was because you asked him not to. you basically begged him not to. you called him kei. if it ever happens again they'll regret it, it doesn't matter if it was an accident.

"i want you to know that if anything else happens i won't stop until i find out their name."

you hum in response, confirming your understanding, and give a small smile knowing that you were able to stop him and he listened to you. you're aware that if it happens again you won't be able to stop him though.

tsukishima gives you a look that says 'why aren't you verbally telling me you understand.' "okay tsukki," you respond quieter than you have been talking all this time, "and thank you," you add on even quieter, almost silently.

he hears but chooses not to respond. "i think i've figured out a solution to the bruise situation." you don't really know if this is a situation but you keep listening. "i'll just have to give you a bigger bruise on top of it." his hand reaches behind you to your skirt and lifts up your skirt slightly before pinching your ass, you let out a yelp, and he smirks. "i think you need another hickey. i think all the others have faded by now and you need a new one."

he knows of every single friend you have but the following day he watches you even closer to see if anyone acts different. he found them. just like you said, a friend of a friend in a study group. it's kind of weird how bokuto owed him a favour and that weekend at a party your friend's girlfriend kissed bokuto, weird right? they broke up obviously.

bully tsukishima masterlist

[blingblong55]

This town -Simon "Ghost" Riley

pic credits: @ave661 (middle and right)

Based on a request: (Its a long as so I'll link it so you can read the anons idea) Link here ---- F!Reader, childhood!friends, hidden feelings, angst, friends to strangers ---- A/N: Songs that also fit: Too Young- Louis Tomlinson, This Town- Niall Horan, Back to the Old House- The Smiths, Always you-Louis Tomlinson

It's a story to tell over at the old pub you and he used to hang around on the weekends. But how can a man begin to tell the sorrowful story? How can he explain in his bruised hands he holds the locket you gave him when you two were kids? He will maybe ask if this was a curse, the only curse an old soul like his has. 

It could've been something, it would've been something, it should've been beautiful. 

In this world, it was always he and you. Scraping your knees when jumping off the rocks near his home. Playing tag in the street until the moon greeted you and his mother would call his name. It's the kind of beginning all beautiful loves start with. Friends since childhood, went through life together and by 28, he would have proposed to the girl he had loved his whole life, 40s would be of dropping the kids at school, 50s of early retirement and 60s were for the potential grandkids, 70s would've been the stories shared of their early lives.

Would've...what a shit word that became in his life. 

In the teenage years, after you had some glow-up, you became the girl everyone knew. The pretty, popular and funny girl the school knew of. He was the friend of the popular girl, the one people barely noticed or cared for. Simon was the same kid who always had a scar or bruise on his face, compliments from his father. One thing Simon hated more than the bastard of his father was the guy you were with. Bloke knows nothing but how to wank and fuck any living thing, he recalls.

Why were you with such a guy? It was a must. Like those cheesy movies where the pretty girl stays with the popular guy, all for the status of each other. Your feelings weren't real for that guy. He wasn't funny, wasn't smart and he wasn't Simon. The boy you shared a kiss with at age 7 because of an accidental bump whilst running through the grass. 

It was during a small break between classes that you found him drinking water. You smile. He always did look good, even the stupid bruise on his jaw made him look so good. 

"Y/N," he straightens up. "Simon," you smile cheekily. "Oh no, what's that smile for?" He crosses his arms over his chest and you can't help but get lost in his honey eyes. "Well...I was wondering if maybe we can...talk?" You say, unsure of how to word this confession. "Did my mum put you up to this?" 

"No, this is...me just wanting to talk." 

"Go on," his voice softens. Does he always do this for you?

You hesitate, but what is life without words? You breathe in and say, "I like you...there I said it and... don't stay quiet because you know I get nervous and I will continue to just talk and talk and talk and-"

He cuts you off by saying, "I'm sorry, Y/N, I... don't..think..this..well I just don't feel that way for you. We're friends, nothing more," he ends his part of the conversation, pats your back as he walks away and you are left in the corridor of the school alone. 

As Simon walks to his classroom, his heart and mind fight the words that he had just said to you. Why was that mean? Did I even mean to say them? He thinks. 

Graduation happens. You and he never talked after that day. Not even a congrats or a hug, life went on without him in your life. Throughout those last months in school, he felt a feeling of regret when he'd see you with that guys arm around you. He would occasionally walk around the old park just to see if you would still go on your daily walks. 

By the time he was about to leave town, he found himself at the old house. He heard your parents moved to a new part of town, so if this was the last time he heard of you, it better be on his terms. And as he walks through the pavement, he finds himself looking at your window. He leans over a car, lights a cigarette and just waits to see if maybe you or some ghost roamed the home. 

Was it the feeling of losing a friend that hurt or losing his one chance to feel something other than pain and hatred? Maybe it's just nervous, after all, he leaves tomorrow. 

You were both just 16, it was puppy love, nothing would've lasted if he reciprocated those feelings, right?

And if it was, why does he feel some kind of hurt as he packs his bags? Why does he want to run to your new home and call your name? Is there a reason why? It's not love, it can't be love, he thinks. I'm not worthy of that, you've heard my dad, he says out loud. "Simon?" Tommy opens the door. "Tommy, not today," he looks back at his bag. "...Fuck" he whispers. 

It's been a long nineteen years since he last saw you and heard your precious voice laugh at a cheesy joke of his. Nineteen years and the feeling in his chest is still there when he arrives home. Manchester was always home for him, it was the only place he knew best when he came back. 

One day, as he was cleaning his closet, looking for his dog's leash, something fell and hit his head. "What the fu-" he looked down and there it was. 

"Why give me this?" A thirteen-year-old Simon asked you. You smile, "You said you wish you could always be near me so you can feel safe...and since I'm going to my nans for the week, have this locket on you, and I swear I'll be there. Keep it safe, okay?" you kiss his forehead before entering the car. He nods and waves, "Call me, Y/N, please!" he calls out and you nod. "Every day!" you scream out as the car drives further away. 

A smile falls on his silent lips, "...Y/N..." his thumb caresses the design. Once he opens it, he feels as if he is that young again. "Are you still there, Y/N?" He whispers and then, realisation hits. It was never nerves or whatever bullshit he told himself back then, it was love, always has. 

All the dots are connecting. For the past nineteen years, he always had some love or whatever all those hookups and awful relationships were, but never did they stick around. Never did he feel more for them than what he has always felt for you. His cold heart still beating warm when he thinks of you. You are all he has ever known, the smiles, the late-night confessions, stories, the silly inside jokes, the feeling in his chest today. 

He hasn't seen you in years, what if you don't remember him? What if when you see him, your heart doesn't call his name when he screams yours? Will you ever even forgive him? Will you wrap your arms around him and call him home like he has called you? 

He must find you, so he calls and looks for you in every corner of this place. He finds nothing, just more lost hope at every corner he looks into. His heart and mind excited each other at the thought this would be some sappy romance moment. His mind creating a script, all truths, just finding better words to tell you he loves you, loved you the moment you kissed the similar scar on the knee at the park when he cried over the pain. He's loved you from the day he learned to say your name. 

Why does he miss you so much today?

Why must you be the drug his body needs? God does he miss you and your addictive heart. 

He has been around the world, where he could've found a good woman who made him happy but no, his heart has always belonged to one girl. You. 

By the time he gets the street right, he finds you sitting down and as he smiles and nearly runs to you, he stops when he sees this image of you. 

Sitting by the fountain, he sees you and a man. His arms wrap around your body, giving you darling kisses as you chuckle. It was then that Simon Riley knew this was it. He will spend his entire life wandering earth, looking for another soul like yours. You didn't see him of course, your fiance capturing all your attention. Simon was close to not caring and pulling you away from that man, but that would be cruel. And as he tries to make up excuses for this man being near you, he sees the ring. 

Oh...oh you fool, he thinks. 

His heart is near death. It screams your name, trying to find you so it can keep beating but when you don't whisper, Simon nods and lets his heart die. Let it rot, so it can learn its lesson, he thinks. 

It would've never bloomed, Simon and you...right?

It's no use to even go and say hi. The locket that contained your picture was still in his fist. It'll be the last reminder of what was meant to be a life romancing in dark streets through town. 

In his head, the home you dreamed of will forever be just a dream. No four kids, no library, no big kitchen so you and he can dance around at midnight. No you...no him...it'll all be stuck and dead in this town. 

He crossed rivers, mountains, and enemies and survived wounds soldiers like him get, all to come home to you. And all this was for nothing. In his world, he would've married you, given you chubby babies and late Saturday mornings. No gun, no bomb and no other man would've kept him away from you. 

In his mind, he is with you. In his dead heart, he sits by and watches that chubby baby learn to walk. He would've adored seeing you in a white dress, walking to him as he wiped tears away when he d his dream of a perfect life was minutes away from being real. 

What a mess he is as he asks for another drink. A mess he never should have been if he had told you that your name is carved all over his body. 

It was this town that saw him live and it'll be this town that sees him die because if he can't have you, at least he has this place. 

A/N: Remember, I collect tears for potions, so please drop them by for collection, thank you. - The place of tears co.

Tags: @liyanahelena @mangowafflesss @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @rvivienner @Krinoid24 @iruzias @frazie99 @idklols @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @Juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13 @enarien @Simonssweetgirl @luvecarson @willowaftxn83-87 @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @pbcartii @Llelannie @Macnches2 @bbyfimmie @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @Nyx_Flower @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @kaoyamamegami @beansproutmafia @soapybutt17 @asianbutnotjapanese @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @sleepyycatt @believeinthefireflies95

[taesanluv3r]

chronicles of an overly in-love woonhak.

kim woonhak x reader

entirely in woonhak's pov (he's just yapping to himself the whole time), this is so dumb n stupid but i think it's silly cute idk 😓 cuss words!! lowercase intended, pls excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors <3 enjoy :3

wc: 1,401

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"relax woonhak, it's not that hard"

all i needed to do was make a move. seriously, how hard could it be? i mean it was easy to help riwoo make a move on the girl he liked, so why would it be hard for me to make a move on someone myself?

but of course, the difference was that riwoo was hitting on someone random from his dance class while i, little pathetic old kim woonhak, just had to have a crush on the ever-so untouchable, and insanely stunning…

yn fucking ln.

i mean she's like- way way way out of my league, right? the other day i confided in taesan, i always talk to him when i feel lost...well only when i'm lost in the thoughts of her. that's only cause she's rather close to him, they're like siblings who aren't related at all- i think it's pretty sweet. otherwise, i wouldn't ever confide in that menace.

but he knows her very well, and he knows me very well, it's the perfect combination. anyways, i told him about my feelings for her, how she absolutely drove me insane. i mean who wouldn't go insane? she's just so effortlessly...her, in a good way, of course. god nothing bad about her would ever come out of my mouth...she's just perfect.

okay maybe I'm lying, she can be a little stubborn and bitchy sometimes...but that's just another thing I can go on and on and on talking about. i'm always talking about her.

taesan laughed at me, he told me i was oblivious and delusional if i couldn't see that she felt the exact same way. i mean can you believe that? she feels the same?! about me?! about kim woonhak?!

i don't believe it for a second...okay, i lied again. the statement did fuel my stomach up with butterflies and make my head spin and cheeks flush and all that…jazz.

and then he said one thing, the one thing that's making me think about everything all over again.

"if you love her so much, make a move!"

and so now here i am, sitting in bed at one o' clock in the morning. only eight hours until i have to go to school. which means that i only have eight hours to construct the most perfect plan to finally make my move. i mean how hard could it be? it's just like chess! not that i'm good at chess, i actually kinda suck at it…

"ugh cut it out woonhak, you're wasting your time!"

she probably doesn't even like me back. maybe she's just as nice as she is to me with everyone else. and surely that drawing she made me was just a friendly gift! and of course the poems she sent me were probably drafts for someone else…though she did send one with my name in it once…

wait.

wait a fucking minute.

SHE PROBABLY DOES LIKE ME BACK?!

OKAY, okay calm down woonhak. no need to get your hopes up too unecessarily high…

this does give me confidence though, just keep thinking positively and make your move at school FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!

"i got this!"

maybe i lied a little to my reflection in the mirror whilst getting ready for school this morning. cause she was right there when i arrived, alone and ready for me to go tell her I love her, but fear got the best of me…as per usual.

so now i'm here, in fucking science class having to listen to professor lee rant about whatever problem he had with lamarck's theory as opposed to darwin's. interesting one though, i know yn has a real interest in the theory of evolution and just about everything else biology related- maybe not plant biology, she didn't look too happy when we were told we're gonna study plant science next week.

just as i started thinking about her all over again, a piece of paper struck my head from behind. it landed in between my back and my chair, not very comfortable. i turned to reach for it, checking out whoever threw it at me as i did so.

yn ln shoots her unique smile at me, her lips tilting crookedly. she never smiled with her teeth because she doesn't quite like how it looks. i strongly disagree, i think it's adorable when her uneven fangs show, it's just another peculiar thing i get to love about her.

i stare too long, too long that she has to raise her eyebrows to remind me of the paper i was supposed to retrieve from behind me and read. my cheeks were probably redder than the ripest of strawberries- ironically, her favourite fruit.

the page was off-white, a cute rilakkuma print bordering the lined-sheet…classic yn ln and her cutesy stationary. i couldn't help but smile as i opened it to find her neat, yet absurdly tiny handwriting.

i admired it for a second, not quite reading the actual note just yet, but once i did…

the ink was pink, one of the gel-pens she usually used to write her overly pretty notes for literature. and the words she scribbled on the page were simple. well, as simple as such a complex and interesting girl like her could ever get.

"hi woonhak, i like you. like a lot. see you under the bleachers at lunch. :) <3 ★"

not even a question. if it weren't for the doodles of hearts, smiley faces, and stars all over the note i would've deemed it a threat.

another lie. i should stop lying. she could tell me to throw myself off a cliff or threaten me with a knife and i'd still be flustered and in love.

the lunch bell came a lot sooner than i calculated. perhaps my brain had been overstimulated by the test i had just finished, or maybe time is just that unpredictable when you're anxious.

i desperately needed to piss- another lie that i told myself to postpone the possible embarrassment i might encounter with my crush under the bleachers today. fuck. why am i so nervous?

i decided it's best to just YOLO and speed over to her usual spot under the bleachers. what's the worst that could happen? you know...besides her revealing it was all a prank and then totally making fun of me!!!!!!! ha ha...ha...

i'm cooked.

she was already there, a slight worry on her face as if she had been waiting and wondering where i had been. i was about to mutter an apology for being late, saying i needed to go to the bathroom and such but she didn't let me talk.

"i know you like me, woonhak"

at this point i was shitting sweat.

"um-"

i was interrupted.

"you took too long to say anything and frankly, i got impatient. cause i like you too- like- a lot. lol"

lol, she ended every serious sentence with that abbreviation to lighten the mood- cute.

all i could do was chuckle in relief.

"can we kiss now?"

she asks, her words coming out a little stale and hasty, but sweet. in a way that made my heart break and melt into bits and pieces. who am i kidding though, she does anything and i'll melt into bits and pieces.

"yeah-"

her lips halted my chatter. she tastes like an odd mixture of banana milk and…honey garlic fried chicken- but it tasted kind of good...?

remind me to ask her where she got her lunch from cause...damn.

the kiss lasted longer than i would've earlier expected, her hands were in my hair and mine held her waist. i had to bend down a little, she's not that short but she's definitely not tall. not as tall as me, that is.

alas we seperated. she giggled softly and i can see a faint pink tint brushed against her cheeks as she caught her breath. then she looked up at me, with the most precious set of eyes. it didn't last long as her complexion changed completely in a matter of seconds before these words left her mouth:

"ask me out, loser"

and that's just the push i needed.

"yn ln, be my girlfriend and take me to whatever place you got the fried chicken your lips tasted like!"

she giggled again- i swear a braincell of mine disappears every time she so much as smiled- stepping forward to hug me, which i happily accepted by the way…she smells good. she smells like a...fresh...teddy bear? yeah.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"i can't believe you actually like me back" i blurted out, watching as she stuck a chicken wing into her mouth. the sauce got on her face and i helped her wipe it off like the gentleman that i am.

"and i can't believe you confided in taesan, of all people!" her words were muffled as she chewed.

"whatever babe, now why don't you eat first and talk later"

she almost chokes as she stares at me with this bewildered look on her face. how could a person be so adorable? like? this???? this cutie??? SHES my girlfriend???!!!???

she speaks with half a drumstick in her mouth and her eyes were opened wide.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE?!"

lol.

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

LMAOOO idek wht i was going for in this one 😭 i pulled this straight out of my drafts tbh </3 reblogs n feedbacks r vv appreciated!! love u tysm for reading. love, kona.

[oneofstarkskids]

so high school (part 3)

part 1, part 2

genre: fluff

summary: high school au!! how is bucky supposed to break it to you that everything that's happened started with a lie?

bucky didn't know how long he could keep it up. the whole facade. he actually had to scramble to hide his report card from you.

you weren't his dad. he shouldn't be afraid of you seeing his grades.

but he was finally spending time with you. could he have made things simple and just asked you out like a normal person? no. this was more fun.

plus it's not like anyone was getting hurt. he was passing all his classes as usual. the only down side seemed to be the lying. he would have to tell you eventually...right? or maybe he could just...

he started to envision it. the two of you sitting on a deck with james junior in your lap. "and that's how mommy met daddy. because he's dumb as a rock."

or in the later years. "do you need me to organize your pills, honey?" bucky would probably roll his eyes, "i can count, doll."

okay so maybe he was overthinking, but that didn't mean that all of this couldn't turn into a problem. besides, he wanted to be honest with you.

relationships shouldn't be built on lies. so bucky decided to tell you the truth.

he met you in the library, like he'd done almost every day this week. he noticed the sullen expression on your face immediately.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you didn't have any problem telling him. the two of you had become sort of, close.

"it's my friend sam. he said he was working yesterday, but i saw someone post him on their story at some hangout," you sighed. "it doesn't matter. he can hang out with whoever he wants. i just can't believe he lied to me."

bucky froze. oh. shit.

"we're best friends. i don't understand why he felt like he couldn't tell me the truth. it hurts, you know," you said. and because bucky did know, he looked down at the table.

"i have to tell you something."

you study his expression. not that it was difficult, bucky was usually an expressive person. he seemed a bit nervous.

"i was never going to fail," he said quietly.

you frowned. "what?"

bucky tried to explain, "i was never getting kicked off the team. i've never failed a class. math and science are actually my strongest subjects."

bucky couldn't stop imagining the look of betrayal that was probably on your face. it took a lot for him to look up to meet your eyes.

but when he did, you were...smiling?

you suddenly laughed like it was all ridiculous. bucky didn't know how to react. and he had sisters, so he knew that your laughter could turn into a lecture at any moment.

"why?" you managed between wheezes.

bucky thought back to the beginning of it all, "well, i liked you for a really long time. all my friends were saying i should ask you out, but i guess i was too scared."

"you were scared?" you couldn't understand how someone like bucky barnes could be insecure for even a moment.

yet, he nodded.

"so you decided to create an elaborate plan to spend all this time with me instead of just asking me on a date?" you asked.

bucky chuckled with embarrassment, "maybe i am stupid after all."

you shook your head, "i don't think it's stupid. i think it's cute."

he turned a bright shade of pink that had you feeling confident.

you smirked, "but don't think that means you're getting out of that date."

[lightningarmour]

Absolute comics first thoughts

For the first time since the end of DOOMSDAY CLOCK I've been persuaded into paying money for a DC comic, and two, no less.

I've been 100% checked out of the DC sphere for about 5 years, only occasionally seeing some news here or there about the latest crossover event or fave character or what have you, and I regard those with the passing interest one might have in seeing a hot air balloon. Nothing has drawn me back partly because I'm old now and don't have the time or inclination to try catching up on years of crossover event, status quo altering storylines and yadda yadda.

I had heard about the new ABSOLUTE line of titles, but from the initial teasers and previews, not the least of which was the character design for Absolute Batman with his giant stupid fat bat symbol, I just wrote it off as them doing yet more edgy elseworlds stories, and thought no more on it until maybe three weeks ago. I saw a little roundup of details about Absolute Superman from an interview with Jason Aaron and it caught my attention.

I've gone on at length in the past about how I think that any earnest attempt at writing Superman for modern audiences that keeps true to the "idea" of Superman without making a cynical edgelord version of the character would need to depict Superman as a politically engaged, class conscious individual at least, and a full on Leninist at best. Now obviously I do not expect DC comics to publish a comic about communist superman without it being a laughable piece of propaganda like RED SON, but nonetheless, hearing that Absolute Superman is about a superman who is fighting a mining corporation to protect a community of abused labourers, and re-imagining Krypton as a caste-based society that was destroyed by reckless exploitation of the environment, I was certainly interested.

I resolved to check it out at least. I'd seen some of the details about Absolute Batman, that he's not a billionaire and whatever and still wasn't too interested, but realized I'd heard basically nothing about Absolute Wonder Woman. "She didn't grow up on Themyscira" okay what does that mean?

At this point both Batman and Wonder Woman were out so I looked it up and found some pages from Absolute Wonder Woman #1 and was pretty much instantly hooked because the art was tremendous, and Wonder Woman is flying on a skeleton pegasus with a huge Guts sword and like, that just fucking rocks ass, come on. So I was now sold on two Absolute series, I decided eh, what the hell I'll check out Absolute Batman #1, maybe I could be convinced.

So now that I've read all three first issues of the new ABSOLUTE Universe, I have some thoughts.

ABSOLUTE BATMAN #1 is a confused mess. I think that Batman, being easily the most popular DC character, with the broadest demographic appeal, has too much baggage. You'd kind of think that with a character like this where everyone knows his whole basic backstory, you could gloss over the details a bit more, but this issue is so concerned with establishing and referencing as many iconic Batman characters as possible, it's so bloated.

in this one(1) issue they set up or directly show you: Alfred Pennyworth, Jim Gordon, Barbara Gordon, Harvey Bullock, Killer Croc, Penguin, Riddler, Cat Woman, Two-Face, Black Mask, Ras Al Ghul, and of course we cannot go even one single issue without giving you The Joinker. It's too much. Ease off. We're not going to encounter probably two thirds of these people for ages. And, frankly establishing that half of Batman's presumptive rogue's gallery just so happened to be Bruce Wayne's childhood friends is dumb as shit. The dynamic between all of them is going to follow the exact same "gasp, could it be that my old friend is now a criminal?!" dynamic like 5 times in a row.

This is easily the most edgy of the current Absolute series and is basically exactly what I assumed the whole imprint was going to be, but it really feels in places like Scott Snyder wanted this to be a Batman that was darker and more violent but then DC editorial was like "no, Batman can't kill people" so he adjusted the script as little as possible to reassure the audience that he's rolling non-lethal damage as he stabs the shit out of people with his ear-knives and chops their hands off.

Despite all the parts I don't like about how they portray Batman, the thing that pisses me off is I really like the way they are doing Bruce Wayne.

Typically Bruce Wayne, the billionaire is kind of a hard character for me to like because of how much he serves this kind of great man power fantasy(yes, I know, superhero comics are inherently fascist) He has a vendetta against the concept of crime because his parents were killed by a criminal, so he takes it upon himself to "protect" Gotham, but in many depictions of Batman it's kind of like, what exactly is his connection to the city other than he lives there and presumably is the HQ of Wayne Enterprises. he views it the way a rich person would, dirty and too full of undesirable people who must be punished so that he, a wealthy socialite can enjoy the place without having to see the underclasses.

Making Bruce a working class urbanist is such a more interesting way of exploring the character. He loves the city because he grew up in it's streets, played in it's parks, attended it's schools, rode it's busses. Adding the layer on that that he became a civil engineer and worked with the municipal government does for the first time I've ever seen something interesting with Gotham by kind of interrogating the notion of what makes a city what it is. Is it the infrastructure, the people, the civil servants? It's the most interesting Bruce Wayne has ever been.

But then as Batman he's just fucking mutilating people and blowing them up with bombs and whatever. Yawn. I think that the Batman aspect also annoys me because it so blatantly disregards the central premise of the Absolute line. What if Batman wasn't a billionaire? Well then he wouldn't have access to tons of money and resources to do his Batman shit! So they like, half-ass that by giving him the kind of stripped-down arsenal. No gadgets and gizmos, just knives and a hunk of bat shaped metal used as a battle axe. But then oh yeah he also has some kind of miracle fabric that he can use as like tendrils or whatever and it's completely bullet-proof and so on and so forth. Like, Batman really really does not feel in any meaningful way like he is working at a disadvantage in this version of the story, and that just makes the whole thing so damn boring.

ABSOLUTE WONDER WOMAN #1 fucking kicks ass. This was by kind of a wide margin the best issue of the three series debut issues. I think that unlike Batman and Superman who both have quite a lot of baggage tied into their backstories and supporting cast and so forth, Wonder Woman has never quite achieved the level of iconography as they have so there's almost more freedom to do something new without hitting a bunch of prescribed plot points. In fact she might be the one of the trinity who has had the most attempts to re-imagine her and spruce her up to get people interested. I recall back in 2010 they did a big shake up that was not too dissimilar to this new take on the character. What if she never grew up on Themyscira? What if she didn't have the favour of the gods, etc. And I really liked that one, so I guess it's no surprise I'd be fond of this new version as well.

I think the number one thing that hooked me on this issue is the artwork, tbh. It's my favourite style so far of the Absolute comics, and everything just looks so cool and big and epic and awesome. That's it. It's just cool as hell.

The next most important thing is it has much better pacing than the other issues. You get a very simple, very effective set-up. The Amazons have been punished by the gods so this baby is being raised in hell by a witch. That's it. Good, effective time lapse of her growing up interspersed within the action scenes of her fighting monsters. It's simple and to the point but still leaves me invested int he mystery and wanting to know more. And again, it did not feel the need to shoe-horn a bunch of characters in so you can do the soyjack point at the issue. They could have easily shoved Steve Trevor in there as one of the soldiers responding to the freaky monster pyramid but that would have just been lame. It's confident enough in itself to not have to try and get you with low hanging fruit.

I don't really have much else to say, it's just cool and good and I'm unequivocally excited for more.

ABSOLUTE SUPERMAN #1 is a solid start. Now I'll admit I'm way more of a Superman-head than I am for Batman or Wonder Woman. This was the series that made me interested in the Absolute experiment in the first place, so I'm probably way more willing to be lenient towards a Superman title than say Batman.

That being said, this one also has like Batman, aspects I really like, and others I'm a bit iffy on, though not in as wide a gulf as Absolute Batman. As I said before, I've spent probably too much time trying to think of how to reinvent Superman in a modern context and, specifically, from a politically left-wing perspective, and I'll say that so far I think they're doing a decent job.

It's obviously nothing new to look at Superman as an immigrant story. Going all the way back to Siegel & Shuster, who were children of Jewish immigrants, the whole idea was what if this guy came from somewhere else. I think that the way that Jason Aaron has interpreted that concept for a modern context is actually quite brilliant. It's almost less of what if Superman was an immigrant than what if Superman was a refugee? Rather than unable to return to his homeland, but finding a new home with loving foster parents we are given the suggestion that he's never had a stable home since arriving on Earth. Moving from one place to another, nowhere to go home to, hiding among the economically exploited peoples of the global south.

It's such a riveting set up, I'm really excited to see how this version of the Character is informed by his history.

I also like the use of Krypton as kind of a heavy-handed double metaphor for stratified class society and the dangers of climate change. Like, it is presumably already dead and gone and unable to like, textually affect the story so who cares if it's allegorical nature is too on the nose. I also really like the notion of Kal El having like, living memory of Krypton, rather than only knowing about it from recordings on an alien flash drive or whatever.

I think the use of this "Lazarus" corporation as a kind of stand-in blanket evil corporation that does every kind of exploitative, extractive, broadly seen as morally wrong kinds of industries a bit hokey but hey it's a comic. I love the use of the Peacemakers as the like, corporate PMC security force though, that's fun. I am pretty curious if Lazarus is going to be a kind of fake-out Lexcorp. Like Luthor is the head of it but they called it by a different name so as not to ruin the surprise of his introduction. That or maybe it's related to Ras Al Ghul? Who knows, but I'm interested in what their whole deal is. They not only operate diamond mines and factory farms but also like, hunt down alien technology to reverse engineer?? And employ a Brainiac. curious as to what the deal is with the screaming jars. Does being shrunk down just like, really hurt? Seems like almost going overboard with the concept. Like not only does he shrink down cities and put them in jars but he also tortures the shrunken people? Like why, what's he getting out of it?

Some of the iffy parts for me include the suit AI thing he's got because I'm frankly sick of that trope by now. Ever since Iron man it's like every fucking character in comics has to have some kind of tech suit with a quirky robot voice. I'm willing to give it a chance on the grounds that it's like alien technology so sure whatever. I kind of like that he has to fucking charge the suit with a solar panel. I am curious about what exactly the breakdown is with the suit. He uses his x-ray and laser eyes so presumably it's still Kal himself who has super powers and they're not like, imbued by the suit. The suit seems like it is regulating his powers in some way. Like without it he couldn't control them and would cause havoc, but the fact that he has to like charge the suit's battery is kind of funny. Like, is the suit solar powered and his powers are just inherent no matter what, or does he still derive his power from sunlight as well? Fuzzy on the rules.

I also don't like the Lois reveal. It's just dull. Who care. The little teaser of Kent Farm is interesting to me. Feels like several different ways they could pivot:

Kal El's rocket lands and blows a hole in their barn, they find him and are frightened of him so they call the authorities/Lazarus and Kal flees.

Similar to above but they care for him like usual before Lazarus shows up looking for the alien craft and kill the Kents to remove any witnesses

Altogether it does enough things I'm interested in to keep me going with it despite the few quibbles I have. So far it's 2/3 on the Absolute universe and with the "phase 2" or whatever announced I'm 100% guaranteed also picking up Absolute Flash because it's my boy Wally and Jeff Lemire writing, like come the fuck on, how could I resist that.

[sowritten]

TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! JULIE NEWMAR

feel free to edit pronouns, etc. as needed

If we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you.

I can tell you one thing about them founding fathers of America; they sure had fabulous wigs.

Your approval is not needed.

I've waited my whole life to hear those words. And I'm very, very, very happy that you're the one to say them.

Nothin' this pretty could be real.

What in gay hell?

Looks like it's the age-old dilemma: style, or substance?

I think of you as an angel.

I think that's healthy!

Do you ever, like, not cry in this room?

Baby, you can have him.

I got a million dream lovers, alright?

I've got a broken heart for every light on Broadway. And when one of them goes out, I just screw in another one, okay, hello good-bye.

I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!

I didn't ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don't think so!

As soon as we get to the next town I am jumping on the first man and riding him all the way to New York City and away from you 'cause this trip sucks! It sucks!

How do I look?

I don't know who he is, but if there's a snowstorm tonight, he's going on my tires.

Since you have obviously learned nothing, I am hereby stripping you of all your princess points.

I don't need a dream. I have a plan.

That might be all fine and dandy but you still have a lot more to learn.

Does everything have to be a joke with you?

This is not a masquerade! This is real life!

Oh, my God, I'm like a compass near north.

You have the potential of a lifetime and you are squandering it.

I want you to turn your swayback little self around on those Robert Clergerie Knockoffs and get back in this car.

Larger than life is just the right size.

No one is so rich as to throw away a friend.

I'll bet you were the brightest in your class, weren't you?

I feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield in this car.

You gotta take chances, because you never know, you know what I mean?

I'm not gonna worry about if people accept me or not.

I'm gonna make Hollywood wherever I am at.

I want you to believe in yourself, imagine good things and moisturize, I cannot stress this enough.

There are times when you help people, and then there are times when if you help people, you end up being killed.

Go on and talk to him, you speak honky!

This America does not respond kindly to our sort of person.

No one say anything frivolous for the next few moments.

I am having a significant experience.

Try to describe her and not use the word "statuesque".

I've had enough of this conversation, I'm hungry.

Let's just relax. It's gonna be alright.

A car? Mary Alice Louise, no. This is a land yacht.

How you gonna hitchhike if there are no cars, stupid?

I'm not rich, my parents are.

It's like living in a Tex Avery cartoon.

Live life before it lives you.

If you want them to know there is steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle! Understand?

You ruin my language and I still love you.

I think I'm gonna black out.

Why is he on the ground?

I am not going upstairs with you.

If you were my girl, you'd never cry for anything, except maybe for happiness.

I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.

Lets throw you a pity party.

You're gonna be second class and you're gonna be second rate your whole life.

Don't quote me but I think this one is decease-ed.

Actin' real proud of yourself just like a New York City girl.

I tell you where I'm going, I ain't going nowhere.

If I was your bread, would you be my butter?

[ohmymalice]

Lackluster Tendencies

jschlatt x f!reader | 674 words ! | part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

high school au, sfw, "You don't seem to be the person I thought you'd be."

ALSO A QUICK NOTE BECAUSE I THINK THIS MIGHT BE CONFUSING!! I refer to Schlatt as Jay for his real name and Schlatt is his online username. His friends online call him Schlatt and friends in school call him Jay.

(blue text is schlatt grey is y/n)

He worried a little, thinking that maybe he used his little internet persona humor way too early into this friendship they had. The ringing of his phone filled his ears, the white screen suddenly faded into black and showed her name.

Y/n is calling... Pick up?

He lets it ring for a few seconds and picks up, his hands sweating a little.

"So when did you become a jackass?" she asked, teasing him for the unexpected response. "Always been one, just hid it well." She scoffed at his reply.

There was an awkward silence on the line, and before he could think, his mouth starts running before he could even make an effort to stop

"I didn't expect you to be this way," he mumbled out, fiddling with the phone in his hand.

"In what way?"

"Like- like.. all the cussing and shit, I thought you were just some pretty girl with an innocent face who seemed to be friends with everyone."

She snorted in response, chuckling. "So you thought I was just some girl with a pretty face?"

"Yes- fuck, I mean- I just didn't expect that you could be nice to someone like me, I guess? I didn't think you were an asshole or anythin' I just-"

"Thought I was one of those biased popular bitches who were only nice to other popular people?"

"Yeah, maybe it was a harsh assumption."

"Harsh but fair, and honestly? If we're talking about first impressions, I thought you were some quiet kid at the back of the class who might've turned out a school shooter if nobody talked to them."

Schlatt's jaw hung open, not expecting a joke like that to come out of her mouth. He just started laughing.

"THAT, that is what I mean by I don't expect you to be that way."

"Well, you're one of the first to know, congrats. I don't have a lot of close friends, friends yeah but anyone I hang around consistently? Not at all." Schlatt hummed in reply, getting the gist of things.

"I don't have as many friends as you, but I do get the whole, uh- the whole thing about not having a lot of close friends. I thought you had tons of friends, just assumed I didn't get to see you a lot, so I didn't get to see who you hung around a lot with either."

On the other line, the girl shook her head, giggling. Oh,  how wrong he was.

"I'd try to be close to the people I know but sometimes it's just draining, especially with my whole drama club stuff... and to be honest-" She trailed off, taking in a breath as she held the phone in between her shoulder and cheek.

"Shit- I don't even know how to put it into to words." She mumbled, he stayed quiet on the line, scared if he tried to say anything it would just make her feel worse.

"I guess I feel like not a lot of people would get me or like me. Not the little persona I put up. Shit I'm rambling, my bad." She mumbled out the last part, feeling like she overshared a little.

"I don't mind hearing you ramble." The words slipped out of his lips, thinking how lame and stupid he probably sounded.

She smiled, for the first time in a while. "Really? Most people would usually try to change the subject every time I got too real."

"Seriously, how could you even think anyone would be bored or not like you."

If anything, it was too easy to like her.

She was gonna interject, tell him how wrong he was and that he'd end up like everyone else. He'll end up walking away from her life and get bored the moment he realizes that there was nothing more to her but the door to her bedroom swung open and her dad started yelling, grumbling about something she couldn't understand.

Before even thinking, she ended the call

leaving Schlatt thinking he did something wrong.

[allwormdiet]

Insinuation 2.2

Time for another day of learning and adventure at Winslow High

That does have to be weird, though, right? Like "I fought a big badass villain last night and survived, my whole world has been changed by this encounter, I stared death in the face, what do you mean I still have to go to class and act like nothing changed?" Massive whiplash, I'd imagine.

Mrs. Knott gives the impression of being... better, at least, than Gladly. She's putting the effort in if nothing else, even if she has to leave the better-performing students alone in order to handle the rest of them, but that feels more like a matter of understaffing than any personal failure on her part.

God it's still messed up that Taylor has such little respite from bullying. This poor girl.

...I think this is the first time I've ever seen anything about Taylor knowing basic computer programming. Wonder if that ever comes back around.

And yeah Taylor, of course you have a geeky reputation, you're a fucking geek. Even setting aside the stuff with the bullying, like c'mon.

I saw a shitpost about how the single reason that Earth Bet is a dystopia is that Reddit is the number one news source in the world and there's something really funny about that idea.

Okay real quick the screenshot would be too small for me to add alt text, but “This article is a stub. Be a hero and help us expand it.” is an objectively hilarious line

And here we get the most information on any given Undersider, and it's immediately clear that Rachel has had a hard fucking life, like hell. Living on the streets as a teenage parahuman must be rough as hell, it's like living on the streets as a normal teenager except people want to recruit or imprison you while wearing stupid costumes instead of just police uniforms

(I would follow a Bitch fansite though, for real)

That's not how gangs work but whatever

So the ABB has a dragon man with dragon tattoos who uses the Chinese word for dragon as his cape name while being from Japan, a suicide bomber who dresses like a ninja, and a bomb Tinker. I don't know enough about Bakuda to really say but Lung and Oni Lee's gimmicks feel... mm. Lazy isn't the right word. Let's just stick with "racist" and move on so it stops bugging me

This is cute actually. She did a good job and she wants to like, celebrate that... and the only problem is that there's nobody she can celebrate with. I just made myself sad thinking about that.

And now she's basically Googling herself, which is also somehow cute.

There's something really funny about the idea that like. Taylor gets in touch with the Undersiders through a fucking Missed Connections post on a superhero message board. Like it's almost certainly the safest and most reliable way to get that message out, but that doesn't make it less comical.

And it looks like that's where we're leaving things.

Current Thoughts

Hit some highs and lows with this chapter honestly. Learning a little bit more about Taylor (swear to god I've never heard the programming thing come up before) and getting more of a breakdown on the Undersiders is all well and good, plus developments from the events of the night before, but again the whole Deal of the ABB grates pretty harshly. Like you don't need goddamn Edward Said to tell you that's all crap, it's just crap, and I don't think it reflects well on the author for putting that crap out there instead of thinking about it for maybe another thirty minutes first.

I gotta run some errands, 2.3 after that, God willing I don't have to read about the ABB for a while longer

[lunadeathbed]

★ Popular ★

I've only seen fics of Our Life Now And Forever MC’s being shy and quiet. So I decided to make a fc with a popular MC for fun. It occurs during step one.

BLUE : MC

PINK : Tamarak

ORANGE : Qiu

★ Autumn Has Always Been My Favourite Season : 1) Popular ★

Yet again you sat on the plastic slippery red chair next to Tamarack. Mrs Murray was talking about… something? You hadn't really been paying attention, of course you enjoyed Mrs Murray's teaching but today…

Today you had been sucked into your imagination and thoughts.

You were popular.

You thought at least, Ma had said you were. She talked about how whenever you were around people they liked to hang around you.

The fact that you were new already dragged a lot of attention to you in the first place.

You knew Qiu was popular but you didn't think you were as popular…

Were you?

You hung around Qiu a lot. Ever since you arrived at Golden Grove you had stuck with him and Tamarack, and they chose to stick with you too.

It was only nature that you'd end up talking to Qiu’s fans and admirers at some point. Maybe they'd turned into your fans too?

Tamarack and Qiu said that you were cool, smart, kind, interesting, and all that stuff but you never thought about it too much. It was sort of hard for you to believe that you were actually all that, originally you thought they were just being nice but… Maybe you really were that and more, enough for people to actually want to get to know you.

Absentmindedly you taped your cool gell pen against the hard wood surface of your little desk.

Tap, tap, tap.

With every tap of your pen you seemed to get further and further into thought.

Maybe because Qiu chose to hang out with you people though you were cool too?

You flipped open you travel sized sketch book and began doodling aimlessly.

You smiled softly looking at it, Qiu and Tamarack had bought it together for your birthday.

It was sort of weird that people wanted to follow you around like minions.

You thought about lunch time. You routine was roughly the same every day but there was always a little fan group around you.

You didn't eaven notice until now.

You traced the edge of the small book. The cover was made of a sleek black leather with little painted on silver stars and moons. In the front page there was a note written by Qiu and Tamarack had drew you a little picture of all three of you.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you felt someone tap your shoulder.

“What's up?”

You answered without looking at who it was first. You closed your scetchbook at looked at whoever needed you attention.

It was Qiu with Tamarack standing right next to him.

“Oh!”

“Hi.”

“Hey, are you coming it's lunch?”

Qiu looks at you with his trademark smile shineing brightly.

It never failed to make your heart race every time. You smiled softly at the both of them.

“Yeah.”

You stood up and pushed the hard plastic chair back into its place and of your little trio went to the cafeteria.

“Are you ok?”

“You seem spacy.”

“Yeah, you were zoning out for the whole of class.”

“I'm fine.”

You smile happily walking into the cafeteria and up to the line with them.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Being popular.”

“Popular?”

“What do you mean?”

Tamarak and Qiu both look puzzled by what you said.

“Well…”

You trailed of thinking about what to say next.

“I’ve noticed that there's always a group of people around us… sort of like fans or something. I dunno, it's stupid. Nevermind.”

“No! You've said it now you have to finish!”

Qiu looks at you teasingly and Tamarack bounced up and down on the balls of her feat.

“Yeah! Come onnnn.”

You laugh softly at there antics.

“mmh, ok then.”

“I mean, I think we're like a little exclusive group of cool kids to everyone else.”

Qiu shrugs before his trademark smile returned.

“We are cool.”

“Yeah! Super cool!”

“I guess we are.”

This fic is sort of just a setup for a series I'm trying to write, I'm sick right now so I might get more writing done :)

[hyacinthoideshispanica]

An idea for a Nessian au.

Nesta is a world-renowned prima ballerina who is being stalked by Tomas Mandray, an abusive ex-boyfriend who's turned obsessive. In her free time, she reads and takes self-defense lessons with her friends Gwyn and Emerie.

One night, she gets home and finds her door kicked in and a very vulgar/threatening note from Tomas beside a bouquet of fresh roses on the table.

For her safety, Rhys and Feyre set her up at their more remote house built into the side of a mountain, and Rhys also hires two of his friends, Cassian and Azriel, to be her bodyguards.

Cassian and Nesta obviously do not get along. Cassian tells her she needs to stop dancing for a bit as it draws too much attention, and Nesta refuses, making them take her to the studio every single day.

"I can't believe she's making us come here every day. Doesn't she realize how dangerous it is? He could be watching her right now!"

"I think it shows how brave she is. I mean, yes, she's scared, but she's also refusing to let him control her life.

"....Fine, I'll admit she's brave for going on with her life as normally as possible, but it's still really stupid that she's making us stand out in the hall like this. How are we supposed to protect her if we can't even see her?"

"Well, what did you expect, Cassian? After you spent the last two classes glaring daggers at Eris and making the entire room feel uncomfortable, I'm surprised she let you come along at all."

"Eris... I don't trust that guy. Don't like the look of him."

"You don't like the look of him, or you don't like the way he looks at her?"

"What's that supposed to mean, Az?"

"He's her dance partner, Cassian. It's perfectly natural that they have a certain level of chemistry, and if we were guarding any other woman, you'd be more than capable of making the distinction between a dance partner and an actual threat. When it comes to Nesta Archeron, you let your personal feelings get in the way and that can be dangerous..."

One night at the house, Cassian can't sleep and goes to the home gym but finds Nesta already there, warming up.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm good, I just couldn't sleep."

"So, what? You figured a workout would help?"

"Well, I usually go for a drive, but I can't leave you."

"I don't need you to babysit me. I don't even know why Rhys hired you, I can take care of myself."

Cassian challenges her to a sparing match to test her self-defense technique, and a whole lot of tension happens. He tells her she has promise, but he can train her to be better.

A few months go by, and Nesta is preparing to dance the lead role in an upcoming performance. Cassian and Azriel are teaching her how to handle weapons, and she and Cassian have also started sleeping together.

The performance is only a day away, and Nesta is in her dressing room when a bouquet of roses gets delivered. There's been no sign of Tomas since he broke into her house months ago, so she thinks the flowers are from Cassian until she sees the note that's attached.

"I can't wait for tomorrow night. Love, Tomas."

She drops the vase, glass and water spilling everywhere, and Cassian and Azriel rush in. They immediately take her back to the house, and Cassian tells her she's not leaving again until they find Tomas. Nesta is furious, the performance is tomorrow, she can't just quit.

"Maybe we should let her dance, Cassian. I mean, if she's there, he will be too. It'd be easier to catch him that way."

"No! There's no way in hell we're using her as bait!"

"I agree with Azriel. I made a commitment to the company-"

"And I made a commitment to keep you safe!"

"I have dedicated my life to dancing, Cassian! I refuse to sacrifice that because of him!

"If you go on that stage tomorrow, you'll be risking your life!"

"And if I don't, I'll be risking my career! My passion!"

"I'd much rather my girlfriend lose her career than her life!"

Nesta stares at him for a moment, stunned that he called her his girlfriend, and then her eyes go cold.

"Let me make something perfectly clear to you, Cassian. I am not your girlfriend. I'm fucking you, I'm not with you. You can't tell me what to do!"

The next night, Nesta takes the stage, and Cassian and Azriel watch from the wings. Nesta hasn't spoken a word to Cassian since the previous night, and he's upset but also can't take his eyes off her. He's completely mesmerized by her. After the performance, Azriel goes to check the perimeter again and give Cassian a chance to talk to Nesta alone, but when Nesta sees him, she turns in the other direction and finds Gwyn and Emerie waiting for her with flowers.

Cassian decides to give her a moment alone with her friends, but Nesta uses that as an opportunity to sneak away. The girls celebrate by stopping by a late night cafe, buying all the cakes and pastries they can carry and driving a few hours away to Emerie's cabin for the weekend.

Cassian and Azriel are losing their minds trying to figure out where Nesta went, but then Cassian gets a text from a blocked number that shows a picture of Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie gagged and bound.

"If you really cared about her like I do, you never would have let her out of your sight."

Tomas followed the girls to Emerie's cabin and is now holding them hostage.

"I wanted to sweep you off your feet directly after your performance, but those two guard dogs got in the way. It all worked out, though, just as I knew it would. We were always meant to be together, Nesta."

Nesta starts cussing him out as best she can with the gag still in place. And Tomas starts laughing.

"Now don't start that up, Nesta. You'll give your friends the wrong impression of us."

He leans down and removes the gag long enough to kiss her, and she bits his lip so bad he starts bleeding. Tomas, completely unconcerned, makes a comment about how he's always loved her fire. Then says he has to go into town for a bit for extra supplies since he didn't plan on he and Nesta entertaining guests so soon.

As soon as he's gone, Gwyn jumps up, free of her restraints. This entire time, she's been slowly working herself free with a knife she always has on hand, and she immediately cuts the other girls loose.

"We have to get out of here."

"How? He took the car and our phones."

"We could walk to the town, but it's two hours away by car and even longer on foot. He'd probably find us before we got anywhere safe."

"My family's owned this cabin my entire life, I feel comfortable enough in the woods that I think we could hide out there for a while."

"OK. The woods, then. We'll be safe there until Cassian can find us."

The girls hide out in the forest for a day or two. In that time, Tomas started hunting them, and Cassian and Azriel have tracked the location from the blocked number so they show up and also take to the woods.

Gwyn hurts her leg, and Tomas is nearby.

"Oh, Nesta! Come on out, sweetheart! You know we're supposed to be together, so stop fighting it!

Nesta realizes they won't get away before he finds them, so she urges Emerie and Gwyn to go without her.

"We're not leaving you alone! That guy's psycho!"

Nesta continues to push them to leave, saying Gwyn needs a doctor and that as long as she's with them, Tomas won't stop.

"It's me he wants. You two go, get to safety. Find Cassian. I'll hold him off in the meantime."

They agree, and Gwyn hands Nesta her small knife before she and Emerie shuffle off into the trees.

Nesta waits in a nearby clearing, knife in hand, waiting for Tomas to show himself.

"I found you."

Meanwhile, Emerie and Gwyn are rushing back to the cabin as fast as they can and run into Azriel and Cassian. They explain where Nesta is in the woods and that Tomas wasn't far behind. Cassian bolts into the trees, and Azriel checks on the girls.

"...it doesn't seem like the bone is broken."

"Great! Now let's go help Nesta."

"You can barely walk."

"You and Emerie will help me. Besides, I don't need a working leg in order to punch that creep right in his creepy face!"

Cassian is running through the trees like his life depends on it, while Nesta stares down Tomas, who is circling around her like a hunting predator.

"If you touch me, I'll castrate you and shove your pathetic excuse for a dick down your throat."

"Oh, Nesta, always teasing. You know you won't do anything to me, sweetheart, you love me too much."

"I don't love you, Tomas. I never did, and I never will!"

Tomas hesitates, his eyes, previously filled with deranged affection, flash with deadly rage.

"And who do you love Nesta? That pathetic guard dog you've been screwing?"

He takes a step towards her, and she raises the knife.

"Take another step, and I will kill you."

Tomas laughs mockingly, "Do you really think that you, a sweet little ballerina, can actually hurt me?"

"Yes. Because my boyfriend taught me well."

Nesta lunges forward and stabs Tomas in the stomach right as Cassian comes bursting through the trees and screams her name.

They run to each other

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but Emerie and Gwyn are-"

"We're right here!"

Gwyn comes through the trees a moment later being supported on each side by Azriel and Emerie.

"What are you doing? I told you to run."

"We did run. And then we came back."

Nesta wraps her arms around herself, the shock and stress of everything finally getting to her. Cassian puts an arm around her, drawing her close, and suggests they head back to the cabin. Once their there, the girls shower, eat, and rest, then Azriel drives Gwyn into town to see a doctor. Once they return to the cabin, an ambulance is called for Tomas.

Tomas is sent to the hospital under police supervision, but it's very unlikely he'll survive considering his stab wound was left unattended for a few hours and may be infected due to someone, Emerie and Gwyn, poking it repeatedly with muddy sticks.

Azriel, Emerie, and Gwyn are asleep, but Cassian and Nesta have stayed up and are talking in front of the fire.

"You were incredibly brave today, Nesta. I'm just sorry he ever got that close to you."

"It's not your fault, Cassian. You tried to keep me home, and I wouldn't listen. Then, at the show, I snuck away and-"

"It's not your fault either. No one is to blame but him, and he's never going to bother you ever again. You made sure of that."

"Thank you, by the way, for teaching me how to wield a knife."

"You're welcome.... So, your boyfriend taught you well?"

"Shut up, Cass."

"Make me, Nes."

They kiss.

As always, if anyone wants to use this as a prompt, please feel free. I don't have the talent to write out an actual fic.

[fappellmoan]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know

[justatypicalwizard]

Wants Within | S. Shinazugawa | Chapter 12

✦ Sanemi Shinazugawa x femReader!, college au, reader is adult

✦ Synopsis: You're a college student taking classes with a very strict lecturer- professor Shinazugawa. Because of an unfortunate even you got on his bad side so now you're trying everything to regain in his eyes. Well, you most certainely didn't expect that kind of attention.

✦ Word count: 1k

18+, minors do not interact

You slowly woke up, consciousness greeting you. Checking the time, you spotted it was evening, the first day of the year. Well, parties always end up like that.

Wait, but you were not at any party. You were with someone, with a man. With your professor, banging him on New Year's Eve.

Oh god. You hid your face in your hands. No, it was not out of embarrassment, it was because of the thrilling excitement you felt.

After the first round that ended really quickly, Sanemi changed his condom and took you once more. This time your legs were on his shoulders and he was grabbing your juicy ass slapping it and giving you even more of himself.

You went to the bathroom and took a shower. The hot water reminded you of yesterday, or today maybe?

He brought you up, your legs squeezing his hips and your hands gripping on his chest as you rode him out.

Shaking your head, you giggled a bit. One could think that after a night like that you would be cancelled at the university. Well, not after what the two of you talked about.

Both of you lay down in the vast and comfy bed, the black sheets cuddling your naked, tired body. Your enthusiasm slowly rode out as you started to process the whole situation. Giving the man a glance you let out a shaky breath.

Sanemi spotted this, knowing far too well what's going on in your head. The same thoughts pierced his own mind.

''Don't worry.'' He put his hand on your head, not really knowing why. ''It's not like we're not both in this.'' Shinazugawa tried to lessen the tense situation and it worked.

''I think...'' You paused for a second, still not hundred percent relaxed in front of him. ''That we better...'' The sneaky words couldn't leave your mouth, you felt like you did something wrong, something punishable.

''Yes, we better keep this to ourselves.'' He ended your sentence and you let out a breath of relief. ''You don't have to be so sacred, you know.''

''I know I know.'' You bursted a bit, your senses coming back. ''It's just funny and... weird, sorry for saying that.'' He only shrugged. ''I don't really want to have everyone up my throat. If anyone knew about this, giving my kinda grades, the scenario would be simple to put up.'' You waved your hands in the air in a manner of displeasure.

''What scenario?'' Sanemi found your little dark pit funny.

''That I stick my ass up for you for good grades, huh?'' You acted as if he was stupid, not sure where the sudden courage came from.

''And you really think I would do something like that?'' He started to thread your thoughts, obviously making fun of it.

''Well, sorry to break it to you, but I think yes. I mean, the common opinion would be that... yes. I think people could be able to think about something like that.''

His brow furrowed a bit. Nah, he certainly didn't expect this. Did he really look like that? He always thought he only looked sexy and intimidating, not slutty.

''Well... I better get going, I guess.'' You pushed yourself up, hiding your body from the cold air.

Sanemi was shocked once more. You were just lying down in bed, naked and after an adventurous night. Where were you supposed to go? He thought you would just talk a bit more and go to sleep. Shit, he was truthly stupid. Why would you do that? Why would you talk to him a bit more and then sleep with him? You were here just for the one thing that you got, that's all.

He looked at your form. You were dressing up, looking for the lost pieces of your clothing. Sighing, he also got up, dressed and helped you pick up everything that you've got. It was late in the night so you called yourself an Uber and both of you went outside, Shinazugawa wanting to make sure that you'll make it to the car.

''Thanks for everything once more.'' You gave the man a big smile.

''No problem, thank you too.'' He smirked lightly.

''Happy new year my dudes!'' Both of your heads darted to the left where a blond guy was walking around, shouting something.

Surprisingly fast, for how drunk he was, he came up to you and stood shakily, waving his hand just in front of your face.

''Dudes, it's the New Year, why so gloomy? Where's the party? You can come with me if you don't have anything else to do.'' His head was shaking from the left to the right, but he seemed very concerned with your lack of party.

''No problem, I'm actually going home.'' You started, wanting to get rid of him quickly.

''Eh! Home! It's still early, where are you going?''

''I've already had a party and I'm going home.'' You didn't give up.

''Come on, don't be like that.'' The blonde guy started to whine.

''She's going home, what do you not understand?'' Shinazugawa cut the guy short and he looked really scary right now.

''Okay, okay. T's not like I'm hitting on ya girl.'' The blonde crossed his hand on his chest.

''Whatever.'' Sanemi huffed.

You heard a group of people shouting something in the back. The blonde guy seemed to be interested in the noise.

''This my friends, better go.'' He smiled way too wide. ''See ya later.''

After that your ride came and after a few more goodbyes you were ready to go home.

Finishing your shower, you put on some show on your computer and delighted yourself with laziness all day long. 

SERIES MASTERLIST

Taglist:

@secretxchive @vesperazhier

[wilsons-striped-ties]

september tc challenge (days 1-30 one shot)

original post here!

once again this is about passion fruit

1 - Describe your tc using only three words.

thoughtful, passionate, proactive

2 - When and how did you first realize you had feelings for your tc?

i guess it was when my heart started to beat faster whenever i entered his lessons, when i noticed his dimples more, when i became so much more eager to please, around the time he started to pick on me to answer questions when i started to get really good at history, maybe around second half of year three

3 - If you could ask them five questions and they HAD to answer, what would you ask?

what cologne he uses because it smells so good but he stopped using it unfortunately, if he'd be open to going out with me someday but not romantically la just like a casual lunch or something, what his favourite books/movies/music, if he's ever thought of me, if he ever misses me (be it in general or as his student)

4 - Tell us a daydream you have had about your tc!

that we'd just sit at the canteen or something and talk, just talk about life and hobbies and getting to know each other better

5 - If you have a playlist of songs about your tc, what is it called and why? If not, what would you title your playlist?

it's literally called passion fruit ramblings, im not even joking

6 - What would you want from them most on your birthday?

for him to know its my birthday, even just a simple happy birthday from him would mean the absolute world to me

7 - You get to spend one night with your tc. Where are you and what is the weather like?

we're under the stars, the night is cold and breezy, but comfortable at the same time, we're sitting on the rooftops with our legs dangling over the edge, or laying on the rooftops, the city lights are beautiful, making the stars shine even more but i know his eyes would sparkle the brightest

8 - If your tc were a Care Bear, what would their name be?

passionate bear probably, cause he has this magical ability to bring across his passion in anything and infect me with that same passion LMAO

9 - Share a picture of a famous person that most resembles your tc!

dont have HAHAHA but he used to look up to che guevara when he was a kid

10 - What color does your tc look best in?

black or dark blue maybe

11 - What is something you have said/done to/in front of your tc that you totally regretted but that they probably didn’t think twice about?

prom. just prom in general, i didn't take a picture with him, i didn't even talk to him at all??? what was going through my stupid mind then??? definitely one of my biggest regrets in my whole life

12 - What 3 emojis best relate to your tc? Just share the emojis!

😊⚽️☕️

13 - Following the last question, pick one emoji that best relates to a story about your tc. Now tell that story! (Don’t forget to post the emoji as well.)

👨‍⚖️ he used to have a gavel on his desk and would randomly hammer it when he was bored and it was quite funny

14 - Okay, let’s get super personal. How do you think your tc would be in bed?

next question HAHAH i don't know, i've never thought about it before

15 - What lengths did you go to to get into your tc’s class? If you can’t answer that, what lengths WOULD you go to?

like when i was in his class? i would read up about the chapters beforehand and memorise them so that i could answer whatever questions he threw at me, and even if i didnt know the answers i would bs and they would somehow be the answers he's looking for, i did so many extra practice papers to book a one on one consultation with him during the national exam season HAHHA

16 - Tell us about a moment that you got super jealous of your tc! (Or more than one moment if you’re anything like me!)

never got jealous of him before but im jealous of others cause in group photos hes more relaxed and does other poses but with me its just hands behind his back and a smile :'

17 - Hey pal, how’s school going for you so far with your tc?

im out of school already :(

18 - Pretend you are your tc for a moment. Now write a blog post as if they were posting in a “student crush community” about you! What would they say about you?

she just called me her favourite teacher... she just baked me cupcakes for my birthday... she shouldn't have, how did she know it was my birthday... (he uses ellipses a lot)

19 - What is your ideal first date with your tc?

honestly we could just walk along a park or something after eating dinner and just admire the evening sky and talk, maybe hold hands and that would already be perfect

20 - What lengths would you go to to please your tc?

literally stay up till midnight to bake cupcakes for him and order the passion fruit pulp from lazada because absolutely nowhere sells that and give it to him for his birthday :'

21 - How much taller or shorter is your tc compared to you?

honestly not that much taller than me, im 158cm and hes taller than me by half a head or slightly lesser

22 - Do you have any nicknames for each other? If so, tell us where those nicknames came from and if you don’t have nicknames, what WOULD you call your tc and why?

dont have any nicknames but he did call me his star history student once, and i wish i had the guts to call him my favourite teacher jokingly (because he is) but i dont unfortunately

23 - What fictional character is most like your tc? Why?

not sure HAHAH

24 - What do you think your tc’s spirit animal is?

hmmm he reminds me of a tiger

25 - What is the best thing your tc has said to you?

that i was his star history student, that he had full confidence that i would do well in humanities during high school and in college

26 - If it weren’t illegal and there were no rules, do you think that you would have a chance with your tc?

no chance unfortunately, he's married with three kids

27 - Write a “Facebook” status as if it were the morning of your wedding with your tc!

hurricane meets cyclone (he reminds me of a hurricane and my mother always calls me a cyclone)

28 - When did you join the tcc, how did you discover it, and who was the teacher that made you want to join?

like this year cause i started to use tumblr then, discovered via tumblr, that time it was mango that was my tc crush

z

nope but i sure hope so

30 - Write a letter to your future child for the day that they discover that they have a teacher crush.

ive been there and there's honestly no shame in having a tc <3

[i-love-klim]

12-year-old brother played through 999 recently. some notes on the experience

* he picked it up because we were both bored as fuck and 999 was one of like 3 games I had on my phone. for a while initially he had to borrow my phone (up until he got his first ending/I was able to set up retroarch on some lucky-not-to-be-ewaste laptop). which I would class as an 'ipad kid arrangement'

* he had some vague awareness of the funyarinpa going in so whenever it showed up ingame we shouted FUNYARINPA!!! FUNYARINPA!!! back and forth

* "this game is yap central. I mean I guess it's interesting, but like..." - quote from his first go at door 4

* after safe end (but before true end kicked in) he guessed akane might be zero. when asked to elaborate he replied "cuz zero's been with you the whole time... otherwise it doesn't make sense". his more confident guess around this time was santa (naturally)

* he didn't like clover very much I think. said clover was mostly kinda stupid which corroborates my thought about clover just not having a lot to do in VLR moreso than being flanderized into stupidity

* ending order was coffin (per my recommendation) -> sub -> axe -> knife -> safe -> true. I tend towards coffin as the first ending because it's what hooked me and the setup/payoff with the morphogenetic field is good and makes the plot make more sense but he thought it was a "boring" end & only really got excited once he got sub end... I guess if I ever get anyone else to play this game I'll recommend sub end first. also I was like "hmm you can maybe skip knife cus you don't learn anything that doesn't come up in other routes" but he wanted to see everything so he went ahead and I think it paid off. there are some interesting discrepancies in door 8 & door 6 if you pick door 4 first, and apparently the "red/white/black santa" rant is knife end-exclusive? I'd forgotten about that

* related to the last bullet point he was pretty insistent on taking it slow and rereading dialogue, for the most part. when he was en route to safe end he ffw'ed through a bunch of repeat dialogue but that was about it

* favorite escape room was door 7, he liked the puzzle where you add up the atoms in each compound listed

* I did not get to watch his live reaction to the elevator scene. but at one point he approached me and said "ummm... if you say 'she was afraid of being locked up with a boy' you get some weird dialogue". which is imo funnier

* he MIGHT play VLR. he's about an hour in now and he hasn't been nearly as into it as he was with 999 partially because VLR's opening act is vastly less intriguing than 999's but also just because he has more stuff to do now. like watching bluey and playing fortnite. I guess

also we're using the same dogshit laptop to play VLR and it only barely runs the PC port. you have to crank the resolution down if you don't want the game to lag and the CPU to run crazy hot when ~3 or more models are on screen at once, lol. maybe I'll drop the pretense and just replay VLR on my own...

[lanaevyssmoved]

helloooo Afhiri sounds SO lovely. can you tell me more about how they feel at the start of act 1 about her predicament with the tadpoles, her companions, etc etc if you want!!

it might be cruel to say that they're pretty damn simple . actually no its not ive decided theyre pretty damn simple. literally wakes up and has a panic attack because where is flute?? where flute?? WHERE. FLU TE? flute was no where to be seen (depression). a very sad clown exploring this ship literally with minimum interest because flute :( flute :( this is a child who has lost their autistic hyperfixation toy.

lae'zel is hot. the sword scene is hot. hiri has immediate gay panic and forgets flute for 2 whole seconds. asks lae'zel if seen flute. lae'zel doesn't even know what a flute is.. smh. sticks around because was told to. does whats told (for now........ ominous.) so to start lae'zel is literally party lead this clown is NOT a protagonist (for now...... no im not making that joke twice)

SHADOWHEART IS HOT... absolutely ignores lae'zel to free shadowheart. literally dumbass tries to pull the door off. lae'zel ends up being the one like "maybe u should look around if u INSIST on saving this HALF ELF." frees shadowheart :) oh my god you have an autistic hyperfixation too?? your rock is so cool!!!!!!!

the flute is not rescued. please F's in chat for the lost flute of afhiri's childhood. her father made her that flute and it's DEAD. AND THERE WASN'T EVEN TIME FOR A FUNERAL.

the first thing they do after hoarding all of the fish on the beach like a little goblin creature is find gale's portal. shiny. Oh My God is that an arm without a body? that is Soooo cool...... high fives. they free him of course!!! used bard Magicks to calm that shit down and free the silly man. she finds him SOOO silly. he is such a silly little guy. his lil expressions and hand movements are SO funny. she wants to get acting classes from him so she can be just as funny and then she'll rank up in Clown. she's sure of it. (he is a clown to her. a truly excellent clown. there's real talent..........)

after that she gets knife throat by astarion :( not very nice of you :( i would have given you money if u wanted :( oh not a robbery? OH WE'RE WORM BUDDIES? friendship acquired :) they genuinely don't have any more thoughts rly at the start because he is mean and she doesn't understand its mean and looks at him stupidly like a dog who cannot understand the new word u just said. tilts head :)

their friendship stat is SO high all of a sudden. this clown has had NO friends their entire damn life (weirdo coded) and suddenly they've got SOOO many best friends oh my god they're so excited for the campfire stories hehee :)

next is oh my godd its the hot. gi..gi... Girlfriend? :) no its gith u stupid clown. get pied. ANYWAY tells the tieflings some absolute BULLSHITERY. this clown is So good at lying (this is a positive. their moral code is kinda messy.) and frees lae'zel :) shadowheart doesn't trust lae'zel but how can you Not when she's Also Green? I'm Green? You're Green? Da Ba Dee

after that its oh my god is that A GOBLIN? never seen a goblin before. finds them extremely cute. they're also kind of green (positive). and A WARG? can i PET IT? No? It'll eat me? bite off my hand? chew up my suit? this is supreme sadness. wait- flute still gone. that's supreme sadness. ALSO WYLL IS FUN!!!! wyll gives her fairytale hero prince vibes and is absolutely fascinated and thinks as a bard should sing of his tale because hes so cool (please don't trust them. they will make him sound like a fool.)

hearing about the spooky scary teeth-ling from wyll is super!! exciting!!!! a devil?? fought in devil war?? fire?? death?? epic story . we must find out more (not to kill. to talk to. must have some REALLY COOL STORIES!!!) very easy to convince wyll not to kil- OH MY GOD HOT?? HOT? ?? literally hot. this is the most Supreme Gay Panic. afhiri never thought about girls (or boys) like this before. none of the Lads give the Panik.. but these girls are a little too much (fainting vibes) also karlach is so fun :) daydreams about karlach throwing her like a javelin into battle

the tadpole though :/ they don't know!! everyone keeps saying. bad! evil! bad! removal! death! kill! and they're like :/ idk guys.. worms are kinda cute. u ever seen a worm do a lil wiggle on some mud? its so cool.. i wish i was a worm..... everyone is concerned. do not trust them with decisions (they trust them with decisions. they are All stupid.) they name the worm. the worm is named little buddy. it's not creative. it's not a name. but this is Little Buddy and she talks to her little buddy sometimes. she even wrote it a song. (she doesn't consume more little buddies. that's weird.. this is HER little buddy and those are OTHER little buddies. there's only one little buddy for her....)

extra: GUARDIAN. oooohhhhh my god .. never seen someone soooooo CLOWN. (this is false. guardian looks nothing like a clown. theyre projecting HARD. guardian plays along because this is clearly going to work better than being Hot and Mysterious). trust them explicitly (reminder: not smart), treats like another Best Friend like the squad. gets sad they don't ever join them in camp for her performances. does private performances sometimes :)

DOUBLE EXTRA: the possession.. of Flute 2.

a daring tale of (gale takes some of the squads money and buys them a flute. cannot bare to see the sad puppy dog eyes any longer.) AN INCREDIBLE ADVENTURE OF PERIL AND DANGER... THERE WAS GNOLLS AND GOBLINS AND MAYBE A BEHOLDER!!!!! gale.. an incredibly brave adventurer.. this is going in his next song