#do you still have to want something that's literally not possible? fuck no
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Anything For The Team ft. Jeon Somi
A/N: I'm writing this to fill in the gap between Mistaken Identity and the upcoming Field Trip finale, which will likely be a couple of months. It was a suggestion by @xiaoondc in light of Somi's appearance at the Tottenham Hotspurs meet & greet. I personally am in favor of the team because my man Son Heung-min plays for them. So consider this a filler smut for the long waiting period. I was originally meaning for this to be a quickie, like 2-2.5k, but I got a little carried away.
Unfortunately all my readers will have to suspend reality a little bit for two reasons. A, because Premiere League games happen in England, and Somi lives in Korea. B, because she'd likely get arrested for what she does in this one. So let's ignore that little snag and those pesky laws and read on. In addition to that, some parts of this were written without a whole ton of thought behind them, since this was never intended to be a long and drawn-out process.
This one will be a little more detailed and a little more accurate than After-match Entertainment, since I actually know how football works (soccer for all you dirty Americans), so I can actually write more of the game into it. Cheers.
And yes, there will more than likely be a part 2 with the Somi x NBA thing.
-상훈
Length: 6.61k
Possible TW: Spanking, choking, noncon, hate fucking, bondage, forced exhibitionism, degradation
Tags: Flashing warning (but literally), gangbang, spanking, choking, hair pulling, slapping, noncon, hate fucking, bondage, forced exhibitionism, spitroasting, DP, degradation
BRRRRRT
Somi's alarm jolted her out of her sleep instantly, the loud tone sending her heart rate through the roof as it always did when she was awoken from sleep suddenly.
"Whatsit..." She mumbled, picking up her phone and looking at it disdainfully. "Come on, it's too early to get up..."
The alarm note read "Don't forget the game, dumbass" and she immediately flew out of bed, suddenly more energized. There was a Tottenham Hotspurs vs. Aston Villa game happening that she had tickets to, and she didn't want to be late.
After speedily getting dressed and doing the quick essentials of her makeup, she went out to the kitchen to grab something to eat before she left. After bolting down her halfassed breakfast she hopped in her car and left, excited to see the Spurs playing in person.
–––
She arrived at the stadium a few miles dow the road later and had to stop and take in the size of the place; it had to be at least 150 feet tall and probably 400 feet long, a truly massive building.
She had her ticket scanned and headed up to her seat, which was located in a private box in the grandstands. She didn't like being in the crowd because she had sensitive ears and all the screaming made her head spin. So she preferred to be by herself. There was still a good fifteen minutes before the game started, and in about ten the players would be lining up on the pitch.
She talked a little to her best friend Eunbin, who unfortunately hadn't been able to make it, before the players were lined up on the pitch and she had to leave the call to see the action. Five minutes before the game, the team captains were to come to the sidelines for the coin flip to decide who got the kick off. As Son Heung-min, who she'd had a crush on for all of her teenage years and still thought was extremely hot, came jogging over to where the referee was, she couldn't help but mentally note the sculpted facial features, the lean and fit body beneath the tight jersey.
"Damn, he's so fine," she murmured to herself, imagination already jumping to filthy thoughts of what she'd let him do to her. Hell, for that guy? She'd do anything. Her mind showed her images of him choking her until she couldn't breathe, spanking her ass until it's red, pulling her hair, fucking her so nice and deep, ohh god yes...
The coin flip was completed and Tottenham got the kick off, so Son and Richarlison were the two who ran to the center of the field, waiting for the ref's whistle to start. The rest of the players took their positions around the pitch and waited as well; after a moment, in which the fans kept up their deafening roar, the whistle was blown and the game began.
Richarlison passed it to Son, who made a move forward past Barkley of Aston Villa, who'd tried to block him. Swiftly and expertly, he weaved and dodged his way between all the Aston Villa defenders and made an appreciable shot at the goal, but it was caught by Martinez, the goalkeeper. The Spurs fans let out a terrible groan, but it did nothing to dissuade the vigor of the team's players. Ignoring the missed goal, they waited for Martinez to throw it back into play.
—————————————————————————————————— A/N: Now, there's a reason I'm not a sports journalist, trying to write out what's usually a mostly uneventful 90 minutes isn't something I want to do here. Xiaoondc and I have planned to make that 90 minutes far more interesting, but for time's sake I'm going to skip around in the game so we're not all here reading a play-by-play of an imaginary game. So for the moment, let's say that it's the 77th minute, and Tottenham are tied with Aston Villa at 2-2. ——————————————————————————————————
It was beginning to look, to Somi, as if the Hotspurs might not win this one. Son, Johnson, and Solanke had been making some spectacular attempts, Son having scored twice, but Martinez's keeping was superb today. Likewise, Aston Villa's forwards had been putting forth a valiant effort against Vicario, but he had held strong and only conceded two goals.
There were only thirteen minutes left in the game, which meant someone needed to score for Tottenham. The trouble was, they were starting to lose focus and Aston Villa was taking advantage of that. If only there were something she could do about it, Somi thought.
And then, it clicked.
There was something she could do. It was risky, risky as hell, but in her mind entirely worth it. After all, she was in a private booth which would, logically, only be visible to people on the field, and...the entire other half of the stadium. The thought, depraved as it was, send shivers running through her and made her pussy wet. But amidst her thought, she saw Son get the ball and make a run down the outer left corner, and the Aston Villa defenders were closing on him...
The want to do it overtook her and with a deep breath, she mustered up her courage and pulled her shirt up, exposing the naked breasts of Jeon Somi to about 20,000 people.
Her mind, having been silent, was not screaming at her to cover herself up, sending the humiliation chemicals to her amygdala. But in the humiliation and risk, she found a thrill that suddenly had her practically panting with lust. With bated breath she waited, her own shirt covering her eyes, and she heard the Aston Villa fans across the pitch groan and then cheer. Confused, she lowered her shirt to watch the replay of whatever happened on the big screen on the other side. The eyes of Nedeljković, an Aston Villa defender who'd been about to steal the ball from Son, slid up to what was obviously her box and he slowed hugely, letting Son through with the ball with an expression of rapturous lust. Son made a great shot, but it was again blocked by Martinez, hence the cheers. Somi looked down at Nedeljković, whose teammates were throwing their hands up in real time, not knowing what he'd seen.
Confidence in her tactic increasing in light of her small victory, she retreated from the window and waited. She'd distracted Nedeljković for the second Son needed to get through, and if he could put the ball into the goal past Martinez, that would almost certainly guarantee the Spurs' win. Approaching the 82nd minute, both teams seemed to be getting more desperate. They started to get rougher, more agitated, and Villa came close to scoring twice. But then Somi's moment arrived, and Richarlison got the ball and sent it down the outside right. Taking another, deeper breath, she slid her pants and panties down her legs and propped herself up on the handrail guarding the window, sticking her ass out towards the crowd. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that the defenders were too focused on keeping him out to look up at her (for all intents and purposes let's say she's in a private box near their end of the field), but she saw Richarlison give a split-second glance at her, and whether it was due to her or not, he suddenly ran faster, and making it past the defenders, slammed his foot into the ball and sent it speeding towards the goal's unprotected left side.
But Martinez was too quick. He sprang to the side and swung his right foot into the ball to counter. It soared across the pitch to the waiting feet of a Tottenham midfielder, who was immediately swarmed by opponents and teammates.
Somi quickly stripped, tossing her clothes aside. Approaching the window again, she was acutely aware of phones being turned to her, fingers pointing, eyes drinking in her naked body through the glass, making her blush even harder.
What the hell am I thinking? She thought, heart pounding as she stood naked before the eyes of thousands. What if I get caught? What if they put me on the news?
But she couldn't lie to herself. If she was to be honest, she knew that she wanted to be caught, she wanted to have everyone know Somi as the slut who flashed tens of thousands of people just to help her team win. And most of all, she wanted Son to see her and know it was her.
The 89th minute. Richarlison came into possession again and took it down the same way as last time, but something was different. Son was running parallel to him up the middle-left side, and Somi knew what was about to happen. In a last ditch-effort, she swung her legs over the rail, propped herself up on it, and spread her legs wide, pushing her feet against the walls on either side for balance.
Somewhere amidst the immediate shame and embarrassment she felt, she registered the sound of the entire opposite side of the pitch collectively gasping and saying "woah". Looking down, she saw the Villa defenders get distracted by the sound and throw questioning glances around, until they spotted her. Mouths dropping open in shock, the lost their concentration and let Richarlison through. It worked! she thought, but instead of shooting for the goal, he sent it to the center, chipping it up over the heads of the starstruck Villa defenders. Son, perfectly positioned, jumped into the air, leaned back, and kicked the ball directly into the top-right corner of the goal, and landed the flip on his feet.
The stadium exploded, the yells of the players entirely drowned out by the roar of the crowd, and the ref's whistle blew three times to signify the end of the match. Son, yelling "YES!" with the rest of his teammates, was borne onto their shoulders. Jumping up and down with elation while the Villa players shook their heads and beat the air with their fists, they made their way over to the sideline, where they all hugged each other and beat Son on the back.
His eyes traveled up the grandstands to her box. She blushed furiously and nearly fell off her perch as she saw his gaze linger on her body before he smiled and nodded a silent thanks to her. Ready to swoon, she got off the rail and got dressed again, silently jubilant that her tactic had worked and, more importantly, Son had noticed her. And looked at her. While she was naked.
The mere thought was enough to make her exultation die down and replace it with pure lust. Undoubtedly there would be a lot of posts about what she'd just done, and a lot of speculation about whether or not it was her. A hot media debate that wouldn't die down for a long time.
Leaving the stadium, she was almost immediately spotted and pointed out by reporters. She realized she'd forgotten to put her mask back on, but she wasn't opposed to an interview.
The nearest one approached her with a cameraman.
"Miss Jeon, would you be so kind as to spare us a moment of your time?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Somi nodded. "Sure. And please, just call me Somi."
"Alright Miss Somi, who are you here to support today?" The mic was held up to her mouth once more.
"Tottenham."
"How do you feel about the game's results?"
"I'm quite happy with how the game ended, and I'm proud of my team for their incredible win."
"Miss Somi, there have been speculations that you were involved in something that has now gone viral, recognize this?"
Somi's cheeks blazed red as the reporter held up her phone, showing a blurred-out video of Somi's own body being flashed to the crowd.
"I-I beg your pardon?"
"Some attenders of the game have been saying online that it was you who was in the video, are they correct?" The reporter's eyes bored into hers.
"I'm a very avid supporter of the Spurs, but suggesting I was involved in any public indecency is quite ludicrous."
She didn't directly deny it, either.
"So it wasn't you?"
"I was simply passionately supporting my team, any rumors of my involvement in public nudity are pure conjecture."
Her avoidance of a definitive answer definitely did not go unnoticed by the reporter, whose eyes narrowed before she concluded the short interview.
"Thank you for your time, Miss Somi."
Grinning to herself, Somi fished her mask out of her pocket and slipped it on before heading back to her car, feeling immense satisfaction in today's events.
...
Late that afternoon, her phone started ringing and she picked it up to see an unknown number calling. The Caller ID was someone named Ange Postecoglou.
"Hello?" She said, accepting the call.
"Good evening, this is Ange Postecoglou, team manager of the Tottenham Hotspurs. To whom am I speaking?"
"Jeon Somi," Somi said, ear-to-ear grin returning to her face. "How can I help you?"
"You're by yourself, I presume?"
"Yes, what is it?"
He lowered his voice. "It was you, wasn't it?"
Somi didn't even need to ask what he was talking about.
"Yes, it was." Her smile widened.
"Well, I'd like to offer you my sincerest thanks for your...erm...assistance today. If not for you, I fear we would have lost."
"Ah, well," Somi said, sitting down on her bed and dangling her feet over the edge, "I just did what I could for my team."
"We'd like to offer you an exclusive opportunity to meet the team."
Somi paused the swinging of her feet, surprised and immediately overtaken with excitement.
"Really?!" She half-shouted, then blushed at her own reaction. "I mean, really?"
"Really." She could hear the amusement in his tone. "They'd like to, uh...thank you personally."
His double meaning was not missed.
"When and where do I go?"
"A black limousine will be outside the Lotte World Mall at 6:30 pm sharp."
"Thanks, I'll be there."
After hanging up, she reverse checked the number and everything checked out, so, nerves jingling with anticipation, she waited the remaining hour and then got ready.
Having more time to prep herself for an outing this time, she selected her favorite and most revealing lacy black bra with matching panties. A short, ruffled black miniskirt and a skimpy red long sleeve crop top were her choices for outerwear.
(Yes, I know the outfit's not the same.)
Adding something a little hotter to her already done makeup from earlier and adding a subtle hint of her sexiest perfume, she gave herself the final touches to make herself as alluring as possible. And so, having prepared, she set out for the mall, which wasn't a far drive. She arrived at 6:27, parked her car near the mall, and waited outside it.
Only a minute later, a black limo with tinted windows and silver lining on them pulled up next to the curb, driver's side facing the sidewalk.
"Miss Somi?" The driver rolled down the window.
"That's me."
"Hop in."
She opened the back door of the limo and got in, immediately surprised by the quality of the interior. Beige leather seats, soft carpet padding, a massive moonroof spanning the entire ceiling of the car, several drink dispensers opposite the seats, a wine rack in the same place, and LED strip lights lining the entire thing. It was one of the nicest limos she'd ever been in, and after sitting down and giving the window separating her and the driver two taps to get him going, she quickly made use of the large bottle of whiskey sitting opposite her. Couldn't hurt to be a little tipsy meeting them.
A few minutes later the limo pulled to a stop in front of a massive building that she could only assume was the Spur's training facility. The driver disembarked and opened her door for her, then led her in through the front doors of the facility, then through a few hallways and a set of double doors. The doors led her back outside to a football pitch, where six of the eleven players who'd participated in the game were lined up on the opposite side. Son, Richarlison, Solanke, Johnson, Moore, and Lankshear, Son in the lead.
The driver left them and Somi, heart pounding with excitement and lust, approached the eleven.
"Mannaseo bangapseumnida, Somi-ssi." Son said, bowing respectfully.
Somi returned the bow. "Machangajilo, oppa."
Inwardly, as she greeted all the others, she found it a little ironic to be addressing each other so politely when they were most likely going to be fucking her senseless momentarily. Their eyes roved over her body, which was barely concealed by her outfit and left almost nothing to the imagination. They seemed hesitant, unsure of her allowance. She reached up to the hem of her crop top and stripped it off, revealing the scanty, lacy bra underneath. Immediately they seemed to become more confident, now that she'd shown them that she had no reservations. They closed in on her, hands feeling up her torso and sliding under her skirt. She bit her lip as their hands explored her body, feeling her arousal increase. She was quickly surrounded, various hands tugging at her skirt until it slid down her thighs, pooling at her feet.
"Mm, like what you see, boys?"
The only response she got was a powerful slap to her ass, which made her moan. Her slick was practically spilling down her thighs, a situation that did not go unnoticed by the team. Various filthy utterances filled her ears, the hands now roughly fingering her pussy making her gasp, pant and moan like she was in heat.
"Fuck, I want it so bad..." She bucked her hips into the hands, feeling her bra being unclasped and her breasts being freed. Hands slid over them as well, squeezing and pinching her nipples. She sank to her knees, grasping and feeling up the rock-hard cocks in their shorts. They wasted no time in ridding themselves of the shorts, revealing 6 throbbing shafts waiting to be sucked dry.
Somi eagerly jammed the first one into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth passionately. She raised her hands to jerk off two more as more spanks rained down on her ass from behind her. Each slap send a thrill of pleasure-pain through her, and she relished in the sensation as much as she could while going down Solanke. He gathered her hair into a loose ponytail and pulled her head into his crotch. Pumping his hips into her face, driving his cock deeper into her throat, he made her gag and choke on the saliva she inhaled.
"Yes!" She cried as he let her take a breath, pussy throbbing with need. "Fuck my mouth harder daddy!"
He thrust back into her mouth, her eyes rolling back as her throat was bulged. She moaned the fingers getting more daring with each passing second. Her breath hitched at the sensation of three fingers being pushed into her tunnel, her g-spot being ferociously fingered. Pleasure flooded her nerve endings, and her moans increased in volume, in desperation. The thrusts to her face got harder, faster, and she knew he was about to cum.
When a thumb pressed against her clit and circled roughly, she lost it.
Her orgasmic scream was muffled by the thick meat in her throat and Solanke's groan as he shot ropes of cum down her throat. She struggled to draw in oxygen past both blockages, and he pulled out to allow her to breathe.
She gasped in a breath and panted, letting herself fall back to the support of her arms. A large wet spot on the grass made it muddy where she sat, and before long they pulled her onto her knees.
"Please," she murmured as more fingers delved into her hypersensitive slit, the brutal thrusts putting her on edge again. "Please, I want your cocks so bad...please, daddy..."
A pair of powerful arms lifted her into the air, and from a glance over her shoulder she gathered that those powerful arms belonged to none other than Son Heung-min, who'd shed his shirt and shorts. The tip of his cock pressed against her entrance, making her eyes and mouth widen in pure shock and pleasure at the sheer size.
"Please, daddy," she moaned, feeling her hands being cuffed behind her back, "please fuck me! Fuck me so hard I scream and cum on your fucking monster, make me squirt for you, please!"
At this point Somi was shut up by the tip of Lankshear's pressing against her lips, which she opened obediently. Simultaneously, both of them pushed their hips forward, a lot of inches being pushed into both sides of her. She cried out into it, pussy being blissfully stretched out. She felt every inch, every centimeter, every throbbing vein and ridge.
And then they started moving from either side, the sound of skin slapping into skin echoing around the pitch. Her muffled moans, their groans, and the lewd schlicks of both his cock pumping in and out of her slick hole and the other four stroking themselves to the sight.
She closed her eyes and bobbed her head in time with his thrusts, trying to distract herself from or stave off the impending orgasm, but it was pointless. The way the veins on Son's shaft grated against her g-spot felt too good. Her moans turned to cries, which turned quickly to shrieks as the waves of pleasure tore through her, obliterating her mind momentarily. Lankshear pulled out momentarily to allow her to release the wail of pleasure that had built up in her lungs. Eyes rolling back, the sensation wracked her body and she squirted hard, drenching the group and Son's thighs with cum. She couldn't signal to Lankshear that she wanted his cock back in her mouth, so she rolled her eyes back, opened her mouth, and stuck out her tongue to entice him. He took advantage of her tongue being out to achieve deeper penetration in her throat, meanwhile Son kept determinedly pumping away at her pussy. She could tell both of them were nearing orgasm; the telltale moans and "fuck yeah"s didn't do much to hide it.
Lankshear gave out with a groan and buried himself in her throat, choking her and spewing his cum deep down her gullet, delivering a hard slap to her face that only got her going more.
Free from the member bulging her throat, Somi could now fully vocalize the pure bliss she was feeling. Son pulled her upright so they were facing each other, and she felt the steel-solid cords of muscle flexing to hold her up.
"Fuck, fuck, yes, yes right there daddy!" She cried. "Oh my god, yes, right there, you're so big, I'm gonna cum again! You're fucking me so deep, I love it, yes!"
What took her by surprise was Bissouma coming up behind her and taking advantage of her ass cheeks being spread.
"God, that's so deep!" She groaned, three quarters of the big dick in her ass in one stroke.
Son took one hand off her ass and slapped it, earning a yelp from her and more natural lubricant down below. Both fucked her harder and faster, spanking her more, pushing her closer to her third orgasm.
"Yes, yes, yes, more, please!" He took one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking and pinching with his teeth, and she threw her head back, humping into his thrusts desperately. "Ohh fuck yes daddy, please pound me harder, it feels so fucking good, yes! I'm cumming!"
"Jenjang, nado keuraeyo!" Son groaned, keeping up his pace. (Fuck, me too!)
He slammed her down onto his cock while jerking his hips up into her, reaching new depths inside her and firmly pushing into her cervix and causing her third orgasm.
"FUCK!" She saw stars as the pure sensation making fireworks explode in her brain. The orgasm ripped through her body like a gunshot, her nerves on fire with pleasure as she rode it out. She then registered their hot cum spurting into her womb and bowels, the surges of warmth triggering a fourth, mind-shattering orgasm. An overstimulated, moaning sob left her, tears welling in her eyes from the intensity of the feeling. Son gave her supple cheeks one more spank before putting her down none too gently.
She lay still on the ground, chest heaving, covered in sweat. The mud she'd created smudged on her ass and back, having turned cool in the absence of her body heat. Her brain had checked out; there was no comprehensible thought running through it at all.
They allowed her a couple of minutes of recovery time, and when she noticed them approaching she sat up, biting her lip with half lidded eyes. She got on all fours and wiggled her ass, smirking up at them.
"Ready for round two...daddies?"
...
She left the compound with her holes fucked wide open, cum leaking out of every single one, and a fair amount still on her face. She'd decided to keep it there a little while for some selfies.
"I trust you had fun?" Her driver asked once she got back in the limo.
"I did. Back to the mall, please."
"Yes, ma'am."
After the quick drive back to the mall and the selfies she had wanted to take, she thanked the chauffeur and stepped inside the mall to wash off her face. Deciding to go for a little walk over the Jamsil Bridge in the cool night air, she started the entirely deserted footpath.
She was about two third of the way through the bridge when a group of men - very muscular men, Somi noted - entered the footpath from the opposite side. As they drew nearer, she recognized one of them. Then two, then three. Then all five of them.
"No way..." she muttered, stopping dead in her tracks as she recognized five of the Aston Villa players, Nedeljković in the lead. And none of them looked happy to see her.
"Well, well, well..." Nedeljković said, tone low and menacing. "Look what we have here."
"If it isn't Jeon Somi," said Torres, voice laced with anger, gesturing for the other three to surround her from the back. "The passionate Tottenham supporter."
"And dressed like she's heading to her night shift at the local whorehouse." One of the voices behind her said.
She took a step back from Nedeljković, a feeling of fear rearing its head inside her. Surely they wouldn't beat her up? A five on one? With cars watching?
But the cars weren't watching. The cars were on the uppermost section of the bridge, and the six of them were directly beneath, completely out of sight. The fear intensified.
"What do you say boys?" Nedeljković asked.
She sensed the three behind her closing in as the two in front did the same; panicking, she turned around and tried to push through them, but their arms shot out and held her back. Nedeljković took her by the hair, bicep flexing with the force with which he was holding on, and pulled her head back to look at him.
"We're going to make you pay for what you did, Somi."
"Please," Somi whispered, not even attempting to escape for fear of further abuse. "Don't hurt me...
"Hurt you?" The entire group laughed, and he took her arms and pinned them to the fence wall she was backed against. "God, she's so naive. We're not gonna hurt you, you dumb bitch. Pretty little thing like you, we're gonna pay you back for what you did another way..."
Her eyes widened at the implication and her cheeks flushed red.
"No, please don't!" She struggled a little bit, to which he put a hand around her neck and pushed lightly. "Please...have mercy..."
Despite how scared she was of them, she couldn't deny that the position he had her in was making her very aroused. Being helpless like this, it turned her on to the point where she was literally trembling, cheeks flushed red and pussy wet again.
"Look at this, lads!" He said, grip tightening on her neck. "We haven't even done anything and this slut is already panting like a bitch in heat!"
His hand left her neck and trailed its way down her body, caressing her breasts, down her abs, and up her skirt, pushing a couple of fingers into her past the panties.
"Mmm~" She purred, biting her lip at the sensation and the fact that she was completely helpless to whatever he wanted to do.
"Yeah, you like that, you little whore?"
"Yes~" She bucked her hips into his fingers, gasping, her eyebrows arching upwards as he roughly palmed her clit and rubbed her g-spot. "Oh fuck - oh my god yes - just like that~"
He slapped her face hard, making her gasp again, and kept fingering her.
"When I ask you a question, you address me properly, do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir!" She rolled her hips into his hand desperately, already on edge from his skilled touch. "Oh, please, sir, keep going, make me cum!"
She moaned desperately, needily, begging for release, but his fingers disappeared at the last second.
"No, please!" She squeezed around pure air, whimpering at the absence of the fingers.
"Shut up." Another slap landed on her face. "I said we're giving you some payback, not rewarding you."
He turned her around, and she felt leather cuffs being secured into place on her wrists behind her back. The next second, three fingers had been shoved into her pussy again, making her cry out.
"Fuck, that's it...ooh yess sir please keep going, just like that..."
"Shut the fuck up and take it." He smacked her ass.
"Yes, sir," she gasped, wiggling it as his fingers moved in and out of her.
"Oh my god yes, I'm cumming, fuck!"
But he pulled the fingers out at the last second, denying her the orgasm again.
"Fuck you!" She cried in frustration, an involuntary whine leaving her mouth again.
Quick as lightning, he darted around to where her face was and roughly grabbed her by the jaw, making her look at him.
"What did you just say to me?"
"Nothing!" She immediately became small and submissive again, made nervous by his aggression. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean it."
He sat down on the ledge and pulled her over his lap, lifting her skirt up over the swell of her hips.
"Now, you're going to learn what happens to bad little whores when they misbehave and talk back their owners.
He bent her over his knee and put his right leg over the backs of her knees, effectively trapping her, and started viciously spanking her over her panties, which did nothing to protect her ass from the relentless assault.
"Ow! Fuck! Sir, please, it hurts!"
"Of course it does, you dumbass whore!"
Tears sprang to her eyes at the continued abuse of her pinkened cheeks, and she struggled a bit, which only earned her harder smacks.
"I'm sorry, sir!"
"You better be fucking sorry!" He continued, heedless of her words.
And yet, in the pain of his powerful spanks, she felt her arousal spike. She arched her back into it, suddenly craving more punishment, more humiliation. She was totally, hopelessly turned on by the position she found herself in.
"Harder!" She begged. "Please, sir, punish me harder!"
"You hearing this slut?" He muttered to the rest of the team. "Begging for more punishment. Just a masochistic little pain slut, aren't you?"
"Yes, sir!" Her own submission driving her crazy with lust, she kept arching her back, wiggling her hips. He increased the force of the spanks, making her moan louder, and when he added the fingers back, she fell apart.
She barely recognized the voice that screamed out of her throat; it sounded most unlike her: high-pitched, desperate, needy. And in her body, among the orgasmic eruption inside, she recognized another feeling: Hunger. She wanted them, she wanted them a lot.
"P-please," she whimpered, her entire body hot and shaking, "please give me your dick, s-sir..."
"You hear that, lads? She wants our dicks."
"Please, sir," she almost whispered, eyes half-lidded, "I want it so bad..."
He positioned himself behind her and pushed into her, groaning at the tightness. He ripped off her panties, reached forward, and pushed them into her mouth; she could taste her own arousal and it only made her hornier.
"Fuck me...fuck me hard, sir, I need it..."
Fast, hard, brutal strokes were what she got in return. The sheer force of each thrust pushed her forward and made her ass and breasts jiggle. Though muffled by her panty gag, her cries could easily be heard by all.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, just like that, fuck me just like that sir! Ohh god it's so good, so deep inside me!"
He stopped momentarily, laid down under her so she was on top, and then resumed. A second cock pressed against her asshole and entered, making her double over, not expecting the sudden penetration. One of Nedeljković's hands reached up and grasped her throat and she bit her lip in arousal.
"Now, tell me Somi, are you ever going to do something like that to fuck up our game again?"
She shook her head, earning her a slap, which intensified her lust.
"Say it properly."
"No, sir," she moaned, "I won't, sir..."
"Good girl." She shivered. "You kept us from winning by doing that."
"Well, maybe if you'd – ohh fuck~...played better, you wouldn't have lost." She was playing with fire and she knew it, but it was worth seeing the surprised and angry look on his face. His hand closed on her face, pulling it close to his.
"You better watch what you say to me, slut."
"Get better at football."
He slapped her, grabbed her hips and started slamming his into them. Her moans turned to screams, her entire lower region being overridden by the sharp increase in pleasure.
"F-fuck, that's t-too much!" She cried, involuntarily bucking her hips, her body betraying her words. "S-so good!"
He ignored her and , keeping the impacts in time with his thrusts.
"Care to take that back?"
"Yes, sir, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean it!" She was going to cum again and she knew it, and there was nothing she could or wanted to do about it. She reveled in the harsh treatment, in the submission they required from her, that she so willingly gave. The throbbing in her asshole intensified, and another torrent of warmth shortly followed a groan, leaving Nedeljković as the last one in the game.
"Do you wanna cum?"
"Yes, sir, please, make me squirt for you!"
"If that's the best you can do then I don't think you want to cum. You'll have to beg me."
He slid himself out from under her and stood, his cock resting on her face as she knelt and looked up at him.
"Please, sir, please let me cum, I want to cum so bad! I want to squirt on your big dick, I need you to fuck me and make me cum again, please~"
"Oh, you need me to? Well, if you insist..."
He pushed her down onto all fours and knelt behind her, slapping her ass before entering her again in a single, well-lubricated stroke.
"Oh god yes," she groaned, feeling him push down on her head, ensuring she was under his control. "So fucking big..."
"Keep your pretty head down, Somi," he growled in her ear, his voice making her shiver with arousal.
"Yes, sir," she moaned breathlessly, trying to buck up into him to impale herself deeper. Her shouts and his grunts reverberated around the footpath, and she did nothing to stop them. Dimly, she recognized the feeling of the cuffs being taken off her, and she pushed herself up with trembling arms.
"Oh yes, fuck my little pussy harder!" He reached around, pressed his index and middle fingers to her clit, and rubbed hard, sharply spiking her pleasure. "Ngghh fuck yes! So deep, yes, yes, please don't stop! I'm cumming!"
His fist closed on her hair again, the vicelike grip unyielding. It took only a few moments before she herself closed like a vice on his cock, and she gave a wild yell as a stream of cum sprayed out of her. He grunted, breathing out heavily in an almost-groan as his own cum spurted deep into her.
"Oh god...oh fuck..." She breathed like she'd been running for miles, and her arms folded under the weight of her own upper body.
"God damn..." Nedeljković commented, getting dressed again, "Much as I hate this bitch's guts, she is a good fuck. Cuff her to the fence."
Wait, what?! She was woken from her stupor by the feeling of two strong hands lifting her up and dragging her to the fence, directly into the view of traffic. The leather cuffs clicked into place, leaving her sitting on the concrete with her arms above her head, and she was too weak to resist.
The three who hadn't fucked her stepped forward, finally unleashing their loads on her. Thick shots of cum streaked her thighs, abs, breasts, and face, the last few landing in her obediently open mouth. The three quickly got dressed and her brain was immediately awake as hell when they started walking away.
"Wait! I'm still here!"
"Yeah, we know." Nedeljković called over his shoulder. "I wonder how long it'll be before someone finds you?"
"Let me go! Please!"
They ignored her pleas and she settled back down, resigning herself to it. A flash of white caught her eyes, and she looked up just in time to see a phone being stowed back away before the car drove past.
"Great," she muttered to herself, feeling her face grow hot. "Guess it's gonna be a long night."
...
A/N: Yeah, I did just leave her there for all the traffic and walkers to see. Thanks for reading!
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when they find out you’re a mermaid
pairing: enhypen x f!reader g: fluff, est relationship warnings: cursing, pet names, kissing note: i’m literally writing an h2o inspired fic but i wanted to do this too hehe also i went crazy with sunghoon’s lmao
LEE HEESEUNG
you didn’t expect to see your boyfriend in your secluded area on the beach, and unfortunately it was too late to hide your tail.
“hey baby i—” cue the shock.
you’re looking at him in fear, not knowing what he’s gonna do next. is he gonna scream? run? tell someone? but he doesn’t do any of those things, he just asks, astonished, “you’re a mermaid?”
when you nod, he just walks forward, sitting on his knees beside you. “how did this happen?” when you explain it to him, he’s amazed. “i never knew something like that was possible.”
“are you afraid?” you ask him. he shakes his head, “afraid? baby i think you’re the most magnificent thing i’ve ever seen.” and he just looks at you like he’s even more in love than he already was.
“can i touch it?” he asks, and you know he’s referring to your tail. you giggle and nod, and he wastes no time in bring a gentle hand to it. the scales feel smooth against his hand and he’s mesmerized.
you ask if he’s gonna tell anyone and he shakes his head vehemently, “no, never. i would never put you in danger like that.” and you know that you can trust him.
PARK JONGSEONG
you invited your boyfriend over to confess something that’s been gnawing at you for awhile.
when he arrives, he gives you the usual hug and kiss, but quickly realizes something serious is going on.
“what’s wrong babe?”
you say nothing, just taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom. while inside you sit on the bed, him following you.
“i have something to tell you… or rather, show you.”
you take the water bottle on your nightstand, open it, and pour just the smallest amount on yourself.
jay looks at you in confusion, but within seconds, you’ve transformed. it almost blinds it, the glowing light, but after it subsides, the first thing he sees is your tail.
“what the fuck?” he says, eyes wide and mouth open. “you’re a….mermaid?” as you tell him your story, he listens intently as he always does though he’s still shocked. once you finish, his mouth opens and closes like a fish, which you can’t help but find adorable. “are you mad?” you ask.
“no, i’m just… in awe i guess. i never thought mermaids were real but here you are.” he immediately promises that he won’t tell anyone to your relief and starts asking questions. as you show him your power, he looks like a kid in a candy shop.
“you’re amazing, i can’t believe my girlfriends a mermaid.” the giddy smile on his face makes you laugh.
SIM JAEYUN
you completely forgot that jake has a key to your apartment.
you don’t realize he’s inside until he’s barging into your bathroom while your mid-bath, in your mermaid form.
he jumps back, “what the fuck?”
you begin to stutter, trying to find something to say. “that’s a sick costume, why are you wearing it in the tub though?”
oh my god, you can’t help but laugh at his obliviousness. “it’s not a costume, jake. it’s real.” he blinks a couple times, looking like a confused puppy. “but mermaids aren’t real?”
“well, they are. and i’m one of them.”
he walks forward, running his hand along your tail and you can visibly see him shiver. “holy shit.”
once you explain how you became this way, he looks star struck. “so that pool really turned you, with the moon and everything?”
as you nod and answer more of his questions, him having comes to sit beside the tub on the toilet, you realize he’s not angry or upset. you voice this to him and he just gives you his signature smile, “of course i’m not angry. why would i be? i understand why you kept it from me.”
you relax, knowing you can trust him. within a few minutes he’s become obsessed with your tail. he’s continuously stroking it, amazed by the texture of the scales and the way your top is covered. you indulge him, feeling safe and relieved now that he knows.
PARK SUNGHOON
you knew you shouldn’t have come to this party. it’s a pool party for gods sake. you don’t belong near any pools. sunghoon is the one who invited you, it’s his party of course, why wouldn’t he invite his girlfriend? you should’ve came up with an excuse to miss it, but you didn’t want to disappoint him.
you figured as long as you stay covered from head to toe and stay away from the pool, you’ll be okay.
how wrong you were. not only are you getting questioning looks for your attire, your boyfriend being one of them, you can’t seem to get far away enough from the water.
“baby, are you okay? why are you wearing all that?” all that being layers and a long coat. you tell him you’re not feeling good and he pouts a little, “you could’ve told me, i would’ve understood.”
you know, but you didn’t want him to get suspicious.
without warning, two guys behind you suddenly lift you up, throwing you into the pool. your other friends that are there, manage to get everyone inside, locking them in with ice.
everyone except sunghoon.
as you turn, your worst fear comes to life as sunghoon looks at you in shock, or what you assume to be horror.
“what the hell is going on?” he says, backing away from the pool. you stutter as you try to explain, but you can hear the others trying to get back outside.
“help us sunghoon!” your friends beg, as they try to pull you out of the pool, but you’re too heavy.
he just stands there, frozen in place. you hold out your hand, “i’ll explain everything. just please, help me.”
your pleading eyes seem to snap him out of it, and then he’s helping pull you out of the pool onto the concrete. your friend quickly uses her power to begin drying your tail. it burns but you don’t complain.
when you’ve successfully changed back, you and the others rush out of there, not wanting people to question how you’re dry.
once away from the others, you explain yourself to sunghoon. the other girls backing you up. “are you upset?” you ask. sunghoon shakes his head, “not at all, just shocked and amazed. but don’t worry you’re all safe with me.” he takes your hand, kissing the back of it.
KIM SUNOO
you and sunoo have been dating for a few months and you’ve been trying to find a way to tell him you’re a mermaid.
you decide to take him to mako island, where you know no one else will see.
“i don’t understand why we’re here. you know i don’t like hiking.” he’s complaining and you can’t help but giggle at his attitude. you promise him you’re almost there, and once you reach the opening you send him down first, following afterward.
“i damn near broke my ankle! what are we doing down here?”
you lead him to the moon pool, and he looks around in awe. “what is this place?”
“that’s what i wanted to show you,” you say before gently lowering yourself into the moon pool. sunoo just looks at you confused and starts to talk, “why are you getting in the water—"
he’s interrupted by the bright glow of your transformation. once your mermaid form is visible, he gasps.
“what the fuck? what is this? what are you? you’re a mermaid?” his mouth is moving a million miles a minute, throwing out question after question.
you finally manage to calm him down and explain what happened. his widened eyes eventually soften, “oh baby, why didn’t you tell me sooner? i’d never be upset or betray you.”
“i know, i was just scared.”
“you never have to be scared with me, i’ll never hurt you.” with that, he leans down, giving you a kiss.
YANG JUNGWON
jungwon was the human equivalent of a nerd. his interest in mythology of all kinds amazed you.
his latest fascination, mermaids. he tells you all about their “possible” existence, sightings, origins, everything there is to know. which is why, when you finally decide to show him your other form, he’s more than ecstatic.
“i fucking knew it, i knew they were real! holy shit my girlfriends a mermaid!”
you answer all his questions, confirming and denying facts and misconceptions. once he’s finally calmed down and not so jittery, you ask him, “you’re not gonna tell anyone, are you?”
“and let them take you away to experiment on you and shit? no way! i’d never do that to you, i love you.”
you coo, “i love you more.”
you let him touch your tail, and he’s amazed by the luminescence of your scales. how they shine in the sunlight.
you tell him all about your abilities and power. showing him how you can manipulate water and speak to sea creatures.
“promise me you’ll take me swimming with you one time? i’d love to see you in action.”
NISHIMURA RIKI
riki was worried when you texted him, telling him you needed to talk. he expected the worst, that you were breaking up with him, not this by a long shot.
as he stares at your tail, his gaze unwavering, his face almost emotionless, you get nervous.
“riki, are you okay?”
he looks up at you finally, and just says, “you’re a fucking mermaid.” before going back to look at your tail.
you snort, “gee thanks for letting me know.”
he doesn’t even react to your sarcasm, just continues to stare.
“my girlfriends a mermaid. this is the coolest day of my life,” he says after a solid 5 minutes of silence.
you take his hand, bringing it to your tail to touch. he’s gentle, treating you as if you’ll break.
“this is the coolest day of my life,” he repeats.
you laugh, “we got that the first time. are you gonna tell?”
he shakes his head, “i don’t want anyone knowing about this except me. it’ll be our little secret.” he brings you forward for a kiss. letting you go, he jumps into questions, and you answer them all gratefully.
© AEWON 2024
#aewon#aewon works ☆#k-labels#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enha#enha niki#enha heeseung#enha jay#enha jungwon#enha sunghoon#enha sunoo#sunghoon enha#jake enhypen#enhypen sunghoon#niki enhypen#enhypen heeseung#enhypen sunoo#enhypen au#jungwon enhypen#enhypen jay#enhypen scenarios#enhypen headcanons#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x engene#enhypen smau#enhypen series#sunghoon fluff
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Can you do a mean sukuna that gets mad at y/n because she starts flirting with a random guy ??
it was all because of him, really.
had he actually been decent, gave you small amounts of attention, wasnt always eyeing other women when it came to doing small tasks for the house. it was finally his fault, him having to watch you jokingly flirt with another man— a random guy who just happened to be there.
yet, sukuna— a demon, throws his tantrum and plays the silent treatment. he fucking hated you right now, because how dare you flirt with a man who isnt him?
hes literally a demon, and that guy is a fucking mortal who couldnt possibly have you head over heels. he cant stand to look at you, because the fuck did you mean ‘his large ass print was showing?’
sukuna had a bigger dick, be so for real.
“so you finally understand what i have to deal with or are you still going to flirt with other women?” you scoff, arms folded and tapping your foot. “shit is ridiculous.”
“its different, you damned woman.” he growled, looking to you. “youre fucking going around to random men and then telling them that they have a big cock.” oh, that mustve struck a nerve since you hadnt seen how massive he was. hes got you cornered, hovering and glooming over you. it wasnt your fault, had the damn demon knew how to act and got some sense, he wouldnt have to reap what he sewed.
“and you dont find random women and say they have good hips for breeding? and multiple women? when i only spoke to one man?”
“it’s different, thats just a normal compliment.” he starts to snarl, fangs on display and his face scrunched up. hes got you by your collar, eyes bearing into yours.
“yeah, maybe back in the golden days, but we in the mustard yellow and that ‘compliment’ has expired.” you snarl back, spitting in his face.
he would put you in his place but… you spat in his face? it takes him a second to process that, has a woman ever spat in his face before? what exactly do you do? he blinks at you twice.. and he can tell you have half the mind but you stand firm..
not until he has your face and stomach planted into the mattress, body bouncing up when he fucks into you from behind and has his hands digging and holding him up by your back. he hated having to remind you he was a supernatural being, a creature from many centuries ago who still is from b.c.
“cant spit on me now, can you, brat?” he asks, his hand holding your head into the bed and he spit on you. “some shit when you got me pissed and … fuck.” he groans, feeling your walls clench down on him. “fuckin’ did this probably because you wanted attention, huh?” he asks, a harsh slap to your ass. “answer when im addressing you.”
you try to nod, eyes peaking from the bed to watch the both of you in the mirror.. but he makes eye contact when you see it. “oh, you wanna watch? thats fine.”
he scoops you up, pressing your back to his chest—and your knees to your chest. you can see it, how he splits you open on his cock and how deep it sinks in. “watch me as i claim you, shouldve been did this!” he growls guttural, your body moving up and down on his shaft.
he was using you, something you needed so bad from your supernatural demonic boyfriend.
#dvorahasks#true form sukuna#sukuna x black reader#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk sukuna#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#ryomen x you#jujutsu ryomen#jjk ryomen#ryomen x reader#jujutsu kaisen ryomen#ryomen x black! reader
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Whats the plot beat in homestuck you find most frustrating? For me its the concept that adding Vriska to the meteor Actually Fixed Every Problem Without Introducing Any New Ones but im curious about your take
that’s a really good one, it genuinely is really frustrating especially on the aspect of like. terezi as a character. it feels kind of fucked that her game over timeline self worth issues (which revolved around “oh my god i’m the worst, everything is awful because of me, i’m horrible for killing vriska, the only thing that would possibly fix this is vriska”) are basically validated because…. she undos everything to bring vriska back (which IS genuinely cool and i DID want vriska back so i’m not like. HATING hating) and then bringing vriska back literally immediately fixes every issue, as you said. it feels a little frustrating to me that her self hatred is basically just like, completely validated
as for other plot bits i personally dont like. uhhh the retcon as a whole honestly, like its COOL and its INTERESTING its just not personally my cup of tea and i would have preferred something different. and a lot of act 6 characterization i’m not a big fan of ESPECIALLY rose. like dear god rose in act 6. to be fair its been a while since i really worked through that whole act but like.
the passiveness which is supposed to be a reflection of her god tier or whatever, i just really do not like it. the alcoholism and the relationship issues with kanaya i have no problem with— those were interesting character conflicts. but when shes actually “better”… her being delegated to like. Reading Books and Planning is so frustrating when she was like the most volatile player beforehand. and i get that shes supposed to have “learned her lesson” after going grim dark but like… SHE WAS LITERALLY RIGHT. LOL. she was right to be breaking sburb because sburb actually IS a horrifying eldritch thing that is controlling and containing them! the fact that rose does a full 180 from trying to blow the game apart to, in the very last flash, happily smiling at their new game-made world that has “THANKS FOR PLAYING” stamped on it?? like hell no. FUCK no. it’s creepy. i am the #1 sburb hater. they are still trapped in sburb!!! they didn’t ESCAPE anything, they won the game on the game’s own terms, and now sburb is ready to continue itself on earth C next so the stupid cycle can go on forever. kind of frustrating for a comic that has so many themes of breaking abusive cycles imo
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84,206: didn't I tell you I had the brainworms today? I was not even in the vicinity of fucking around. I'm just gonna slap another quote in because all the writing juice is getting used for writing.
I wish you were better too. I don't know why you aren't, either, but I love you even if you never get better forever.
This is so very blatantly written by disabled fucked-up people, about disabled fucked-up people, for disabled fucked-up people, and I love that for me and also for the rest of the disabled fucked-up people.
New Thing: to keep myself from just yelling at all times what my current word count is with no further context, I'll post it and whatever is currently happening, except it'll be a spoiler-free Describe Your Story As Badly As Possible version of what's happening (and if I can't even do that, then I can shush about the word count until I can).
So, without further ado...
Sequel word count: 10,071, and Valentina is painting X's nails, because why the fuck not, GIRLS NIGHT GIRLS NIGHT GIRLS NIGHT (even if only Valentina is a girl and neither of them have a terribly strong sense of gender to begin with).
#Nevi Writes#I'd say 'I'd cry if I read that in a story' but I cried a lil writing it so yeah lol.#I'm going to represent the FUCK out of chronic illnesses and nobody can stop me#and like is that kind of dialogue wish fulfillment? abso-fucking-lutely!#it's a wish that I don't think most disabled people are even aware they're allowed to entertain#you're supposed to want to Get Better#but what if you don't? what if you CAN'T?#do you still have to want something that's literally not possible? fuck no#you can want for it to be okay even if you never get better#you can want your life to be good WITH your disability still in it#I don't think I've really seen that represented in fiction much at all and why not honestly#it's probably out there. I'm not actually much of a reader tbh. so I'm probably just not seeing it#but I can't imagine it's that common either.#like even outside of fiction it's still pretty radical to consider disability acceptance as a Thing#I've had abled people get SHITTY with me for not pursuing every pants on head stupid 'cure' they tell me about#and like. why. mind your damn business. I'm not obligated to follow strangers' orders about my health.#I have things that There Is No Cure and I'm done wasting energy and money chasing one.#I'm a whole-ass person worthy of everything in life even if I'm mostly bedbound today#even if I was bedbound every day forever#that's still okay. that's morally neutral. that's just how brains and bodies can be sometimes#anyway that's about what's going on lol#the plot is not in a hurry (it's picking up steam slowly) but the disability rep is COOKING currently#hello fellow disabled fucked-up people do you want to read a story that's about funny little robot guys#but actually it's about disabled fucked-up people?#because if you do then boy have I got some exciting news for you!
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Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.
I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.
Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?
How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"
And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.
So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.
So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.
And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.
-
And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.
Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.
And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.
So you sail away in a boat together.
And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.
But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.
But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.
You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.
And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-
-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.
You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.
-
And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.
It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.
And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.
#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this#ford pines#ford meta#this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic#godswriting#<- i need to change my writing tag to this#something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with-#-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved#obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to-#-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict#compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him#feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing#its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are#the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours#-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and#-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends'#like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person!#he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words#I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close#so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no#feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of-#-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them.#and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with#-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given#their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds-#-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost-#-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that-#-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would-#-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me#and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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probably going to rework my human bellum design again
#surprise surprise im still not satisfied with it but i think i have the base down#might just rework his clothing a liiiiitle and maybe like. give him at least slightly darker skin#he still comes off as edgy or some shit to me. i still want to stick with the violent delinquent sorta angle#i just feel like its a bit much or whatever. he just seems too unremarkable but also too detailed#or something. with the scars all over. maybe its bc i cant picture him v well in the game artstyle? but ive never cared much abt that#tho looking at the comms ive gotten of him. he seems fine. the x on the eyepatch might be a bit much#maybe he can customize it when he materializes it idk and the x is a default. its made of sand when you inspect it#it might also help to write him more. force myself to think abt him in situations#in other news im thinking abt damien possible post ph healing magic. i like the idea i have#i really need to fiure out more defined post ph arcs it does bother me how aimless it is#i know vague stuff but very little specifics. it needs a fucking plot#i do want to keep bellums human form making him look closely related to link. i like that#its funny if nothing else#salty talks#damiens fine hes just a guy he doesnt need anything too fancy. if i think abt it too long my certainty dissolves#wow i love being insecure ablut my ideas. i love rsd. ohhhhhhhhh boyyy#now its a minor vent. w/e. at rhis rate im. gonna start talking abt how my job scheduled me on a shift#with the literal bare minimum number of scheduled workers so if its slightly busy its going to be a living hell#at least i get paid for closing so when closing inevitably takes over an hour bc i have to do it alone im getting paid more#if i wasnt motivated by money itd be so fucking over for me in the workforce
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why am i having to hold a gun to googles head to show me articles on the long term effects of hormonal birth control on the endocrine system in adult patients who began usage as a teenager
#barks#i just wanna know if having a hormonal iud as a teenager fucked with my shit or not#causeeeeee i switched to copper a few years ago and everything was gucci in the coochie until a bad summer hit#lo and behold i call the gyno and she puts me on nuvaring because my symptoms were a sign of hormonal imbalance#meaning i got my ass fucked up from the first iud. right?#fuck if i know i wish they didnt make it my responsibility and then not actually give a shit as to what really happens#the absolute hell you can go through both on and off of birth control is out fucking rageous#'cool my cramps arent as bad but im a raging bitch i want to rob a bank and i want to kill everyone and then myself'#can you please for more than five fucking seconds think about the actual effects these things have on us that arent 'harder to get pregnant#also never listen to anyone that tells you you cant get your tubes tied and still be able to have children down the line#they always wanna bitch and moan about it but its literally reversible just like a vasectomy. not as easy but still possible!#do we get mad at and blame the kitchen counter when a baby smacks their head against it? no. the baby is at fault#tell me why something i have no control over is the reason i have to bear the cross#instead of the dipshit baby that cause the issue in the first place being at fault?????????????????????#im going to burn this world down i swear to god i hate it more every day#the beauty is evident but the horrors persist#hi if you read all of this
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the brief mention that 1.3 leonard could still be feeling some deep lingering grief over his brothers' deaths still never fails to fascinate me tbh like, does he think of the standards he must have lost since their passing and feel guilt? or does he see them in every child he abuses??? does he keep his grief to himself or does he find it a useful anecdote to what must be a countless number of families dealing with loss??? does the green dragon know? does he confide in it????? since leonard seems to be aware of what arioch lost to the union, just how aware is/was she in what HE lost???????? did they have a role in each other's loss? is THAT where their beef came from??????? im going to merge into a wall
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#drag on dragoon#leonard drakengard#drag on dragoon 1.3#drakengard 1.3#on the other hand; i've been obsessed over the idea of doing the 'nothing in life matters 😔' (DOD1) 'nothing in life matters 😎' (DOD1.3)#meme with them because of this#still... why would they give us the base concepts for the 1.3 cast but literally none of the depth for 98% of them (angelus is excused lmao#like you're going to make them edgier okay BUT THESE ARE STILL THE SAME PEOPLE???? WHAT PUSHED THEM TO THAT BC IT CAN'T JUST BE A 'DIFFEREN#TIMELINE DIFFERENT PERSONALITY' THING OTHERWISE YOU LOSE ANY SENSE OF “self” THEY HAD IN THEIR CHOICES IN THE DOD1 TIMELINE ENTIRELY#there HAS to be SOMETHING that made them like this... well caim we pretty much see it#BUT LEONARD AND FURIAE?????? i still stand by it; they fucking took the dragon-blood pill too i just KNOW they did#but that still doesnt answer what the fuck went on with him and arioch#the boring but most STRAIGHTFORWARD answer would probably be something among the lines of#'Oh well she came to the village and he had to drive her out after realising she was literally insane and she's been waiting to get back in#ever since. leonard just kinda knew about the dead relatives bc thats everyone'#but i dont like that explanation as much as the idea that they KNEW because they had some INVOLVEMENT when it happened#(likely unintentional.... maybe? 👀)#also why the fuck does the prologue just casually mention leonard was part of the union but literally never brings up why he's midgard's#most wanted by the time the truly diseased takes place and what led him to (presumably) abandoning it to begin with#....WAS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DEATH OF ARIOCH'S FAMILY???? HUH??????#ngl im entering conspiracy mode with this but being honest#it almost seems in character and MAKES SENSE that him having something to do with the death of/possible killing of arioch's family would#drive him to where he is by the time TTD takes place#think about it!!! leonard joins the union; ends up driving a woman to literal insanity after involving himself with the death of her family#the guilt causes him to leave the union and seek a life of atonement helping OTHER families whose lives were torn apart by the war/union;#his brothers are possibly killed during his defection??? maybe??? something something#arioch seeks his ass out and spends her time waiting to feed on the village/semi-subconsciously maybe waiting to ruin everything he's worke#for....
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Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.
#i worry a lot about moe being a difficult character and i absolutely just. mani just fucking sucks ass. no saving that thang#but then it's like. i was just so completely and utterly endeared to sissel. captured my entire heart#THE SMUGNESS TOO. THE SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS. the NEED to have complete control to Protect everyone#and just. having extremely short sighted ways of doing it. the way sissel is still so painfully childish drives me insane.#just added the esp when it feeds you part and realizing how ironic that is w sissel bc that's Literally#how laios was able to win a little bit of trust. HOWEVER. this is me talking. from the heart.#either way something is just Up w me tonight i guess i've just been crying on and off about it LMFAOOO#in my fucking feelings..... whatever man ....#my biggest takeaway here is i can make mani worse.#maybe even still beloved... there is a chance......... it could be possible.#i'm also just extremely fucked up about sissel like. if it wasn't obvious. everything about him is driving me insane actually.#the mother/child imagery/motif. the fucking lion. i cried tears of relief when i saw#that the gang did put sissel in a bed after it all. like i could not fucking relax until i knew where he was#and i so. sooooo deeply and desperately just wanted someone to put him in a bed. for gods fucking sake.#don't even get me started. on everything else.#i'm just never gonna recover.#moe tag#mani tag#<- tagging them bc IN SPIRIT. this post is also about them
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what do you think about the kaeya = caribert theory? i saw some people use it as an 'explanation why his skin is dark' like. oh he used to be a Monster and the skin is a remnant of it :) and it pissed me off so bad. i need to know what other people think about it
its honestly not a theory im super fond of i think its a little stupid no offense. i dont think it makes a lot of sense? to go super in depth i'd have to take another look at the caribert quest (and maybe read up on the khaenri'ah lore we have so far again) but i kinda feel like it establishes pretty firmly that kaeya couldnt be caribert. descended from that branch of the family maybe (though im more fond of the theory that kaeya is descended from the branch of alberichs that were actually being regents, something that chlothar wasnt involved in because he distanced himself from the rest of the family to look after his son) (makes sense that kaeya would know more about the alberichs being the regents in khaenri'ah than he knows about an alberich being the founder of the abyss order) (theres a post about it i reblogged it some time ago and it hasn't left my mind since) but like.. him actively being caribert? sounds.. honestly really dumb to me.. don't ask me how kaeya isnt (or at least doesn't seem to be) affected by any curse, be it monsterification or immortality, but i just feel like that isnt the explanation. the actual explanation could be related to the events in caribert though.. cant wait for them to tell us what it actually is lol. on the off chance that this fucking theory is true then ill just bite my tongue i guess but i know im right. ok now moving on to the elephant in the room. what kind of take even is thatttttt "thats why his skin is dark"what is bro talking about🔥🔥‼️ if i read that with my own two eyes id block a person SO fast. why would you say that and treat it as serious evidence and backing for your theory. thats just. racism basically. what. anyways kaeya whos half from sumeru supremacy
#using hoyoverse logic (desert=dark skin rainforest=white skin) he'd be half a desert dweller half khaenri'ahn#(which is silly stupid logic btw. i hate it)#its SUCH a concept though#still doesnt answer how he isnt. yknow. a hilichurl. caribert style#but we've already established that i dont have answers for you as to how kaeyas existence works. sooo yea#not to get ahead of myself though but the kaeya skin COULD be evidence of him having roots in sumeru too#even what he tells us about going to sumeru as a child too if you're willing to make a stretch#because i know that was about him wanting to go to/get as close as possible to khaenri'ah#(ough btw. i feel ill whenever i think about it for too long)#but you COULD argue that the fact hoyoverse has even brought it up recently could be hinting at something#giggles and kicks my feet. we'll see;3#that was one hell of a tangent. sorry im a bit passionate about sumeru kaeya im realizing now#thank you for the ask!!!#about the other one you sent don't worry you didn't come off as rude! it's literally ok#you def arent alone in thinking that is fucking insane bc it is. hope that helps#the moment the caribert quest dropped and people were like genuinely linking caribert to kaeya i was so confused#i didnt interpret it that way at all#saying that his dark skin is because he was a monster though. like ok. do you guys ever think before you speak like ever#askpilled#kaeyaposting#kaeya alberich
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having some thoughts on itachi and radicalization and how people can do the most horrific shit imaginable while fully believing it's the right thing to do and police states
#naruto#naruto shippuden#uchiha itachi#i give itachi a lot of shit. which he very much deserves#but on the other hand.#idk itachi isn't a character i can really hate or stan i guess. i mostly just feel sorry for him#i feel sorry for a lot of the characters in that world really#here in this world we're all more or less on the same playing field#like there's ways to be privileged or disenfranchised sure but. no one can throw a meteor at your head for questioning the government#i feel like that's something that gets overlooked a lot in metas on why characters do things#like we can compare to ourselves all we want but we still live in a world where it's significantly more possible to speak out#and people STILL have a very hard time doing that#in the world of naruto.... you really can't#if your village is horrible too fucking bad none of the other villages care enough to do anything#if your village is awesome surprise no it isn't you've got awful shit going on and you just haven't noticed it yet#everybody seems to be running on ''well at least we're better than THOSE guys''#and the people who actually DO want to make things better simply. don't have the know-how to do it#bc all the people who could've come up with the ideas we have here have either been brainwashed killed or scared into silence#it's a lose-lose situation for literally everybody and they all keep perpetuating it bc nobody knows how to stop#you can save the world. you can save the world a hundred thousand times and it will NEVER matter. bc you still can't save the people#it's an eternal tragedy and i love it
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