#do too much damage
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every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.
if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.
#it’s hard because I’m trying not to push myself too hard with mono#the nerve damage stuff is scary#so I’m doing my best to have a zen attitude about all these goings on#but like another surprise 3.5k expense?? how is anyone supposed to live in this world?#there will reach a point where I’m forced to sell this house.#because I don’t know how much longer I can do this all#sorry to be nothing but complaints recently. but things have been hard!
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on one hand it's a relief i don't have a fuckton of class work to do this week but on the other i already know my procrastinating ass is playing a dangerous game with such circumstances 😭
#my method for classwork is to just get that shit done as quickly as i can so i can have as much time as i want to do whatever#i usually get all of it done by fridays#my lowest grade is a 95% in one of my classes and i hope it stays that way#i have 100%s in my other classes#i'm trying to savor these grades while i still can. i just make sure i turn in my assignments so even if i do mess up it won't#do too much damage#had to continue in another tag because i almost reached the character limit#i can't believe it's already going to be october in a few days. that means it'll be two months until finals week#speaking of october i have no idea what the fuck i'm gonna be for halloween which is rare in my case#i might be a vampire (might seem like a safe option but i'll add my own spin to it)#one bc i need to get more adhesive glue for the fangs i have. i have GOT to get my hands on some more fangs as well#that sounds so wild out of context#whenever i get the money to i might consider getting myself permanent fangs#the lowest cost for them is around $2k though 😔#*laments not having the ability to materialize a pair of sick ass fangs at my will*#i can throw in some horns and a tail while i'm at it too#what's cookin' in hell's kitchen?
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just to be completely clear, the amount of military power and political influence Israel has has NOTHING to do with its settlers being Jewish. Israel is a force for American & European interests in the region and they're just doing what America does and allows/encourages its close allies to do.
war crimes aren't considered war crimes when someone America finds useful is doing them. european and american pushback against anyone criticizing Israeli apartheid & genocide is 100% because these crimes are useful to American & European hegemony.
Governments that are deeply antisemitic, like France, aren't suddenly caring about Jewish people. Jewish people, persecuted the world over, don't hold some kind of hegemonic power outside of Israel.
The state of Israel and its attendant brutal treatment of the locals are both incredibly useful to the US, and American hegemony means we're expected to celebrate both.
not bc they're Jewish. this isn't a break in the pattern of western antisemitism and it's not evidence that antisemitism doesn't exist.
it's just like how you could get fired for saying shit against the US war in Afghanistan when i was growing up. it is 100% about US military and political interests (ok slightly western europe too but lbr)
#this widespread support has NOTHING to do w Israelis being Jewish apart from evangelicals wanting to use them as pawns for armageddon#the primary reason this is all being treated like it's ok is cuz it's useful to the usa#i feel like this post is going to bring terrible ppl into my inbox but i'm gonna leave it rebloggable for now#if our (US+EU) governments push back at all it will be because it stops being useful to us#either because Israel isn't doing this as quickly & efficiently as promised and it looks like Palestine might actually do some damage#or if it otherwise becomes too politically costly by causing too much tension between the US & other nationstates#either allies like Saudi or if states we aren't quite ready to have war w seem to be ready to throw down over it
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.
you are wonderful. don't you know that?
bonus: they play sims together :)
#running out of pre-made art for the queue… ;; sorry folks. hope you enjoy this though! you voted for it o7#utdr#wd gaster#gaster fanart#utdr fanart#deltarune fanart#deltarune#kris deltarune#utdr player#utdr soul#ney’s art#ney’s comics#if gaster was ever an enemy in the actual story i feel like it’d be like this. antagonistic but not behaving maliciously for fun#just dial up his genuine affection for the world to an extreme and make it tinged with Scientific Interest#bam. disconnected and maybe unintentional damage. baked with love from the void#… i do love a good edgy evil guy though. and the goofy takes are favorites too.#btw lowkey this is based on how much the fandom collectively (i think?) loves kris#like yes go blorbo we want to see you overcome all challenges :)#our buddy took all this trouble of taking us to build-a-vessel and someone just stomped on it when we finished :( rude
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they could have been such haters together
(ID in alt text)
#dungeon meshi#mirumisu#mithrun of the house of kerensil#milsiril of the house of tol#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun dungeon meshi#milsiril dungeon meshi#doodles#mine#the filename is xoxogossipgirl#yes im still on my mirumisu missed connections yuri bullshit. they could have been their worst selves ever........ TOGETHER#it's fine tho bc now they can be their less worse selves..... together <3 and deal untold psychic damage to kabru#having sooo much trouble w the other big dm piece im doing so i meant this to be a quick mental refresh and um. took too long to be casual#unclear if i am refreshed or if the farcille kiss will take me out of commission again. that's the beauty of life <3#save me mirumisu..... mirumisu save me.....
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height ahh difference
#team fortress 2#tf2#science party#red oktoberfest#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#this one's a bit fruity on purpose ahem#alternative title is “Gravel war field medic stands way too close to his patients and dies while taking all the collateral damage”#jokes aside I have been thinking about how medic is tall and if he were to stand really close to engie he'd be looking down onto him#for some reason I just like the idea of him doing that; hands in his pockets; staring at one specific part in engie's face but not his eyes#meanwhile for heavy he has to look up#Hallo mein Großer; wenn ich darf? And just zooms into his face but in a sultry way#put the back of your hand against his chest so it feels like you want to avoid actively touching him but very much do it on purpose#It's like neck and shoulder stretch exercises for medic; ↓↑↓↑#Haha gotcha this was going to be another joke after all#👌#This was the last thing I wanted to draw before work gets super busy again
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Till's point of view on his and Ivan's relationship - An (personal) analysis of Till's side of things leading up to Round 7.
As kids, IvanTill's relationship was tulmotious, to say the least.
Ivan would do things to rile Till up as a means of getting closer to Till when they were just starting out, and Till would fall for it.
Ivan would steal Till's things and turn around and give it back like some evil Christmas gift as a means of trying to get closer to Till, and Till would fall for that too, for some time.
But we all know Till isn't stupid. Till must've noticed after some time that the constant disappearance of his stuff only to be coincidentally found by Ivan every time wasn't actually a coincidence. And Till, being handled roughly his whole life by aliens naturally wouldn't have been so fond of the way Ivan would constantly instigate fights with him. All of these things that Ivan did, they did irritate Till. In any normal case they would've given all the more reason to avoid Ivan. So why did Till let him linger?
Well, I think Till actually considered Ivan at least a good friend, At least at the start. Ivan was strange, mean, and annoying but he was one of the only people who actually made an effort to stay and get close to Till. To have someone in a world like this would mean a lot to a kid like Till, even though Till and Ivan had their moments he was still the closest person to Till.
Other than that, Till is a high-spirited, compassionate, and emotional character. it's shown in a comic where Ivan and Till spot a crushed flower and Till tells it to cheer up out of sympathy, it's shown in the way Till cares about others around him even if he holds a cold exterior that keeps him from showing his heart often.
This isn't to say Till regarded Ivan because he felt bad for him, he didn't know the first thing about what went on in Ivan's mind. Till allowed Ivan around him because he cared about him enough to look past those aspects, Till is observant enough, so he was able to see that Ivan was just a kid trying. Till indulged Ivan, allowed him to stay because he cared.
And then we have the meteor shower scene. (pain&suffering.exe)
Ivan, motivated by his strong love tries to get Till to escape with him at the perfect moment. Keyword tries. Because they couldn't get far before Till stopped in his tracks and went right back to Anakt Garden, why? fear of the unknown? Of course. But it's because Till wouldn't have been able to live with himself knowing he left behind a person he loved so very dearly, Mizi. He couldn't possibly leave her there, aware of these deep feelings he had for her. He cared too much to leave.
Till probably felt guilty, going back to Anakt garden because it was all in wrong timing, probably felt guilty knowing he disappointed Ivan back there. But imagine just how much guiltier he felt seeing Ivan the next day. He followed Till back knowing there was no way he'd get the chance to escape again. And so this was the first thread of their relationship that was frayed.
After this point, Ivan was under the full assumption that he had been wrong about how he thought Till saw him so he gradually started to distance himself too, Ivan's antics seemed to have mellowed out, as they grew more distant but he still messed with Till, remained in his life in the shadows, and cared about him, becoming gentle when Till was unaware because even then he couldn’t force himself to leave Till’s world even if Till wanted to leave him in favor of a more bright, beautiful paint that permeated Till's dull canvas, that was so much different from his own bland, dark existence.
Till noticed their distance, and Till thought Ivan hated him for leaving him behind, so as a last effort to bring Ivan back to him and fix his relationship with his friend, to let Ivan know he wanted him near, he left him a message on graduation.
"You were the one who stole my pencil at that time right?"
That was in response to Ivan's "I hope you'll remember me" message.
Till's response sounds pretty straightforward, by design. but I read it as an indirect pointing to a direct message; "I know it was you, of course, I'll remember you. I'm not even mad at you for all of it...So come back?" unfortunately for Till, Ivan didn't read it like this because Ivan isn't a simple person, he needed more than Till could give him. So most likely instead Ivan ended up reading the message as Till still not caring this only motivated him to distance them more until they weren't even talking anymore.
And so after everything, round 6 comes. Till has to compete and win against Ivan.
Till went into round 6 with the full intent to kill himself on that stage and let Ivan win. He couldn't continue to live in a world he hated, in a world where he was tormented, was used, and had nothing else to live for. he couldn't continue to live in a world knowing Mizi, his only shining light and goddess was gone, most likely dead.
It's eerie just how close he was to succeeding, but his plan was thrown off as Ivan realized what Till was doing when he stopped singing and interfered before it was too late.
Ivan kisses Till, selfishly furious with emotions, and sentiments that haven't been addressed for years, but gentle in the message Ivan was trying to get across. Ivan chokes Till for the final blow. Till doesn't understand any of it, it's all too fast and it confuses him. it's hard to say what exactly Till was feeling in that moment, but Till doesn't fight back properly because he doesn't want to, he can't bring himself to show that spirit he had anymore, not the one Ivan saw in him when they were kids, that's been drained out of him because of years of the trauma, the torture, the pain, everything. He's tired. He's lost Mizi, and he's lost everything. If he's just meant to be lamb to the slaughter then why should he delay the inevitable fighting for a life he didn't want? So if Ivan was going to kill him in that moment, so be it. He was going to let him.
Only that's not how it goes, as soon as Ivan's hands leave him Till is disoriented. and then he is shocked, confused, worried? because he didn't expect, nor want this either, he didn't ask for this, he didn't ask for Ivan to take away that one thing he wanted. That expression on Ivan's face, he doesn't get it. But it hits him, that this was all a plan.
And at the end of the day, Ivan is dead, and Till is left staring at his peaceful corpse on the ground, with his blood staining his shoes like Ivan's actions are staining, permeating his perspective, giving him more questions and less answers. All while knowing that he is truly alone in this world now. He has been abandoned.
(I go over pencil.exe a little more in another post of mine if anyone is interested in reading keke)
#All of this is just my take so keep the rocks at bay if you happen to disagree i already have brain damage :)#alien stage#alnst till#ivantill#alien stage till#alnst#i might do this with ivan too but itll take so much longer cause bro has some baggae#fuk you ivan#ill drag myself in the dirt for this one i almsot hit my thumb with my hammer while anaylizing the meteor scene for the umpteenth time#never doing this again actually#/hj#3/31/24#alnst round 6#alien stage round 6#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#edit number 303287464643 Till suffers more
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bleach painting inspired by children of the sea ^_^
#my art#do not repost#artists on tumblr#bleach painting#fish#whale shark#coelacanth#oarfish#children of the sea#fume inhaling saga#no joke i think i got some damage from inhaling bleach fumes too much
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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Explorers of Sky is a good game.
#making the joke in the tags of my last meme wasn't enough i had to make it real#with way too much effort put into it as i do#pokemon#pmd#future trio#that's the tag right? WELL it'll have to be#i finished the main plot and the special episode and yeah#yeah yeah yeah#very good game very glad i can take real life damage when i hear don't ever forget with full context now#the special episode also confirmed that arceus isn't a dick it's just specist#as expected of specifically a pokemon god really#maybe the pla protagonist would have been sent home if they'd been turned into a pokemon!#then again they wouldn't have been turned BACK but... yknow that's still half the problem solved#ray's records#i suspend my disbelief i promise but sometimes thoughts are objectively funny#hero saved the world and gets to come back to life buuuut yeah no you keep your amnesia and you stay a pokemon cmon now#though to be fair THAT resurrection was all dialga#and it controls time not form (that's mew) or memory (that's... uxie?) so i can let it slide it did its best#anyway great characters in this game everyone say a prayer for celebi whose stubby little hands are very full with those two. attagirl.
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I want to be in the room when this massage happens
#i activate kuya's ultimate and roll my eyes#'how much damage could a saboteur POSSIBLY do?'#[my scoff is cut off by Dante's shocked screams]#don't even know why i thought SR kuya could get away with a little fantasyland#i built him up. like every other SR. why did i let him go that hard on dante 😅#too distracted by the novel config of kuYaKuYaku#i was surprised when i opened this stage#wondered why dante suddenly needed a massage#on this historically fishyokai inhabited island?? in the middle of the event??#bold request from a man in ass-slapping range#i mean sure thing sun lord#i can get you your island massage#but that just means you're gonna get a yakumo kuya rubdown and i don't know how you'll feel about that#badly. apparently. (despair)#nu carnival olivine#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival dante#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival
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I finished wild arms yesterday! what a great game
#wild arms#wild arms 1#cecilia adlehyde#jack van burace#rudy roughnight#earth golem#art tag#i really really loved this one im so glad i finished it#its really fun and not overly long for a jrpg (about 30 hours)#also gets my seal of approval in that despite what all promotional material would have you believe cecilia is the main character#like its not even a question she just is. compounded by the fact that if you want to you can play as her the whole time#my biggest criticism would prob be that by the end of the game the party feels kind of unbalanced especially in boss fights#cecilia can do so much shit and the boys basically just do different kinds of big damage lol#cecilia can also do big damage but shes too busy healing and buffing and debuffing and all that#its not all that hard though so its not a huge deal just kind of funny#anyway i definitely want to play the rest of the series at some point. apparently theres an anime too?? exciting
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The night where it all began, part three.
Previous / Next
Lilith: [voice quivering] Where am I? Who are you?
Vlad: [abstractedly] Ah, you’re awake! Much sooner than anticipated, but it can only mean the transfer was success-
Lilith: You undressed me? What else have you done, you dirty old man?
Vlad: You misunderstand the circumstances, girl. Those men nearly killed you. I saved you. Your gown was ruined, so I only thought-
Lilith: Thought you’d have your way with me while I was helpless to resist?
Vlad: Please calm yourself. You were rapidly fading when I came upon you. Although I try to avoid meddling in human affairs, I’ve been seeking a student to mentor for some time. I was forced to act rashly and-
Lilith: Stop speaking nonsense! My veins are burning, yet my bones chatter. What is happening to me?
Vlad: I bestowed upon you the dark gift. With it comes a second life, one that can be eternal. It will be difficult at first and certainly painful, but I can help. My name is Vladislaus Straud. Once you’re strong enough to travel, I’ll take you to my home. I’ll make you comfortable there. When the transformation is complete, there'll be no end to the things I can teach-
Lilith: I already have a home, and I’m not going anywhere with a violent pervert like you!
Vlad: [grunts in unexpected pain] Get back here, girl! You're being hysterical! [telepathically] You can run now, but you’ll return in time.
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#sims 4 story#story: hzid#vlad has terrible bedside manner#who's surprised?#he obviously could have easily subdued her#but he knows curiosity and desperation will compel her back#also it's not super noticeable because i didn't do any extreme close-ups but vlad has two good eyes 👀#we'll learn how one of them got damaged eventually#i also had to finally give him his own dialogue color#(and we're gonna pretend it makes sense for lilith's updo to look like this when disheveled because i like the hair too much)#lilith vatore#vladislaus straud#blood tw
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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//episode 7 chapter 9 spoilers
i can NEVER not get over the fight between jamil and kalim that i had to rewatch aladdin. then i remembered that aladdin took jafar's staff, broke it and gave it to the sultan then remembered kalim ALSO has a staff of his own and istg jamil's lucky enough he just got those golden shingalingngalings to his face because what if kalim smacked him with that mf staff out of anger. WHAT IF.
#twisted wonderland#twst#scarabia#jamil viper#kalim al asim#twst spoilers#please there's so much to unpack here#i love me an aggressive kalim it's so funny#yay to the character development and fuck yea to the entertainment#i know kalim won't do that but the damage potential HAIDBAKDHAKFHS#i don't think kalim's holding it all the time too what a miss#sorry jamil HSIAHSHAHSHHAHSHSHS#or congratulations i guess idk HDISNDJ
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