#my method for classwork is to just get that shit done as quickly as i can so i can have as much time as i want to do whatever

[baphofemme]

on one hand it's a relief i don't have a fuckton of class work to do this week but on the other i already know my procrastinating ass is playing a dangerous game with such circumstances 😭

[ash-clarington]

WHO:  Ash & Dani ( @daniharperdominant ) WHEN: Sunday morning 2/7 WHAT: Hangover ; the morning after their night out doesn’t go as well as planned    WARNINGS: um sads 

Ash's temples throbbed and her mouth was dry but she was warm and there was a solid presence against her that she automatically leaned into as she woke. The submissive blinked against the bright sunlight coming through the window and she groaned as the heavy drained feeling of coming down from a high she hadn't had in a while set it. The night having not come back to her yet she burring her face in the closest part of Dani she could reach and closed her eyes again, content to try and go back to sleep as she hid from the morning sun.

Dani's night had been one of...mixed emotions.  The drinks and the dancing, the touching and the exploration on the dance floor, it had been just what she needed.  And what she hoped Ash needed.  And then Ash had disappeared.  The same Ash who had been involved in an incident that not only cost them all privileges but also nearly cost Ash her life.  And she'd vanished like the breeze, only to reappear after a desperate search high as a kite.  Dani was angry, and disappointed, but that night hadn't been the time to deal with it.  Instead she'd shepherded the wayward submissive home and gotten her into bed to sleep it off, planning to deal with it in the morning.  When Ash began to stir against her Dani sighed, knowing it was almost time for a hard conversation.

By the time Ash had begun to fully wake up she was already wrapped up in Dani but when she opened her eyes a second time she found she was being observed and just as the submissive's brow creased, just as she was about to use her sandpaper tongue to drop a playful quip about what the Domme was looking at she recalled how they had left the club. Ash's mind worked backwards from the moment Dani had coaxed her into an uber and back and she felt herself physically shrink away and disengage. "Morning." She all but croaked, testing the waters for if it was as bad as she was remembering it being.

Ash looked to be in exactly the kind of shape Dani had expected her to be.  She was glad that she'd waited through the night before she'd said anything, though, because the anger that had coursed through her veins the night before had mostly departed and she was left with just the disappointment that lingered.  "Good morning," she replied softly.  "How are you feeling today?"  The answer to that was obvious, but it was a better start to the conversation than what she wanted to say.  That talk could come afterward.  "Get any sleep last night?"

Ash rubbed her eyes undoubtedly smearing last nights makeup further than it already was and gathered herself to sit up. Settling upright and hugging her knees to her chest, the submissive tugged at the soft tshirt she recognized as Dani's but had no recollection of putting on. "More than most nights." Ash replied first, a hint of challenge in her voice. It wasn't a lie, she had knocked out hard the night before. The only other time Ash was getting any sleep these days was after exhausting herself with scenes, or classwork, or cleaning. Last nights method didn't require nearly as much effort. She gave a shrug, "I feel fine, Miss." Ash felt like shit and some part of her became hyper aware of the omission, driving her to add, "A bit hungover...

"Hungover," Dani replied softly.  She wasn't sure where she was finding the effort to control her temper, but she was glad for it.  "I'm not shocked.  I'd be surprised if you could stand without help this morning."  Her throat worked as she tried to formulate words.  "I am glad that you got some sleep, though.  You looked like you needed it.  How much of last night do you remember, exactly?"  She needed to know that before she said much else.

If Dani was asking if she remembered their dancing, with the Domme's hand up her skirt, or their shared drinks, or the moment in the night were alcohol wasn't enough and strangers to score from were like a godsend of an opportunity---then Ash remembered it all. Even some parts of their journey home were coming back to her as they spoke, the main part being feeling at ease in the back of a car neither of them were driving despite her knowledge of Dani's pivot in mood by then. "Plenty." She said, fighting the urge to begin fleeing. Ash would have been fine finding her clothes and leaving with no further discussion. Preferred it even but she also didn't actually want to pull away from the Domme and was hoping this wasn't going were she suspected.

"I see.  That's good - I'd hate for you not to know what I'm talking about."  The conversation was going to be unpleasant enough without her having to explain it.  "First of all, I want you to know that you're safe.  I'm not your old Domme, and me being unhappy doesn't mean that you're in some kind of danger.  But I do have to tell you that I'm disappointed.  And hurt.  And I'm going to explain why." She swallowed.  "I went out with you last night as a Dominant.  Your Dominant, at least for the night.  Which means that above all else, your safety is my responsibility.  Something that I take incredibly seriously.  And you took that ability to keep you safe away from me when you snuck off without me to score.  After a punishment that was applied to the entire school the last time you did, after nearly dying the last time you did, you left me on a dance floor trying to find you.  For God's sake, Ash.  If you had just told me what you needed, I could have been there.  To keep an eye on you while you used, and make sure that you were safe.  Instead you cut me out.  You took that away from me.  And I don't know what to think about that.  Whether it's because you don't trust me enough, or that you feel the need to hide from me, whatever it is it doesn't do wonders for my feelings."

Ash sensed the shift immediately, nothing that started off with first of all was going to be good and she prepared herself but Ash wasn't expecting the instant and conflicting reaction at mention of her ex and her past. She physically winced, her eyes closing against any of the number of memories flooding in of a change of mood and suddenly being turned on. Though the submissive also felt her chest swell hearing the reassurance of Dani promising to be nothing like that. It reminded Ash to take a breath as she listened, expressionless. "I..." She started to respond and then stopped, trying to process. Ash did trust Dani, she almost said it right then but it got caught up in her tightening throat. The Dominant was hurt? That had not been the intention and Ash had to think over Dani's very plain and direct words twice before she managed to grasp at them. "It... wasn't planned." Is what spilled out in response and an apology felt close behind. Ash knew Dani was right because the moment she had slipped away from the dance floor the guilt had already begun seeping in, only alleviated by the drugs hitting her system before she had reunited with the Dominant again.  It had also lifted an unnamed ache the submissive had been carrying around with her for weeks so at the time, it hadn't mattered. In the light of the day however the same way Ash couldn't escape her headache, she couldn't escape the familiar shame of disappointment that settled in. And she hated it. Fear and shame had once been intertwined so closely that her pulse quickly elevated on instinct and in anticipation and Ash steeled herself as her breaths came shorter and quicker. She had gotten so used to being her own keeper at times it hadn't occurred to her that Dani would have been so bothered. "I'm sorry." She tried, her voice sounding small to her ears in a way she hated the most.

Dani nodded, letting out a breath.  "That's what I needed to hear."  Ash's quick breathing bothered her, though, and she made a gesture meant to bring the woman into her arms.  "It's alright, Ash.  It's okay.  You're safe here with me.  I'm not going to hurt you," she repeated.  There were going to have to be consequences for what had happened, but the most important thing in the moment was that Ash know this wasn't going to be like her past.  She wouldn't be hurt or abused simply because Dani had been worried and felt slighted, it wasn't the kind of Dominant she was or would ever hope to be. "And above all else, I want you to know that my biggest concern this morning was making sure that you were all right.  I stayed up a lot of the night to be sure that you were still okay and I was very glad that nothing happened I needed to call anyone for.  That I could take care of you myself."

The invitation was tempting but Ash hesitated, swaying toward Dani as if she were going to move to lay beside her but she stopped herself. "It wasn't a huge deal." The submissive promised, trying to brush it off. A few bumps one night out of the week certainly wasn't the worst Ash could do and it wasn't as if she was gone for long. That part however, she kept to herself. She wouldn't take back an apology and she'd meant it. Ash didn't want to upset Dani, that was the last thing she wanted, but if Dani had wanted her on a leash the least she could have done was supply it. "I'm fine. You didn't have to do that, Miss." Nervous energy got Ash on her feet, and she dug through her growing emotions to grasp at where any of her clothes might be. There wasn't enough serotonin leftover in her system to combat or navigate the duality of building panic and a growing stubbornness.

"It was a big deal to me," Dani shook her head.  She wasn't a fan of the way that Ash was trying to minimize something that had made her very upset.  "I know you are, now.  I didn't know that you would be last night, because again - I wasn't there.  I had no idea how much you'd taken or even what you'd taken."  When Ash got on her feet Dani decided she'd had enough.  "Sit down."  Her voice was very much her Domme voice now.  "Right now."

The submissive stopped in her tracks, stilling under Dani's tone and she reminded herself of how the Dominant had started this conversation before she turned around. Her heart hammered and she wanted nothing more than to tell her no and continue with leaving like she wanted to but Ash buckled under Dani's gaze and she moved herself back to sit at the edge. "Thank you for taking me out last night, Miss. But I don't need a lecture and I..." Ash averted her eyes and pressed her fingernails into her palms in her lap. "I want to leave. Please."

Dani frowned.  "I have no intention of lecturing you, Ash.  And if you need to leave, then I'll let you.  But before you go, I want it understood that either now or later I'm going to ask you to consent to a punishment.  I don't think that I need to explain why.  So if you need to leave right now and recover, compose yourself, we can do it tomorrow.  But I would rather get it handled today."

It wasn't unexpected, Dani had made her disappointment very clear but Ash didn't have a handle on herself enough for a punishment just yet. She couldn't even look the Dominant in the eye. Her eyes stung and she nodded her understanding. Time to herself, to recover was exactly what Ash needed. She couldn't stomach crumbling in front of Dani before kneeing for her. If she was going to accept a punishment she would do it with her head up and without the sickening nausea of her hangover. "I just need a few hours..." She said, swallowing a few times to rid the thickness from her throat.

Dani nodded.  She wasn't going to push through something that had the potential to damage Ash, especially given what she knew about her past, and so if she needed time alone before a punishment that was fine with her.  "Very well - that's fine, Ash, and thank you for telling me what you need.  I appreciate that very much.  Go ahead and get dressed, please, and then you can go.  Come back to me when you feel ready."

As soon as permission was given Ash was off the bed again with a muttered "Thank you." She found her skirt over the back of a desk chair and didn't bother to zip it after she'd tugged it on. With a half sort of glance back in the Dominant's direction the urge to apologize again caused Ash to hesitate by the door but ultimately she gave another nod and slipped out. Going straight from Dani's room to her own in a specific sort of walk of shame she did not care for.

The moment the door closed behind Ash, Dani flopped backwards onto the bed and pulled a pillow over her face to let out a scream of frustration.  She hated giving out punishments, but she also knew when there was no choice, and this was one of those times.  The fact that it was Ash only made it more difficult and less wanted.  But she needed to follow through, and it was that simple.