#do or die you'll never make me
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I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#ITS JUST NOT THE SAME MAN#idk i was reading nightwing must die (again...) bc i was in a funk and saw another post saying how fans exaggerate the closeness btwn them#and on the one hand i get it. there is a very rosy portrayal of their relationship you'll come across in fanon#and they weren't very close at the beginning of their relationship#but man. reading Nightwing must die again was like#YES they fight. damian instigates it and while dick tries to exercise patience he does fight back/lash out on occasion#but despite all that it's still emphasized how important the two are to each other#when dick is forced to picture a future where he's lost his way he pictures damian being the one to bring him back#not necessarily bc damian is his favorite person on the planet but bc he gave damian robin. for a lot of practical reasons-#-but also bc how far damians come is (i think at least based on this arc) a testament to dick that hes doing Something right#both as a hero/person#damian is more than just a burden saddled on him (although there's an element of that in their batman and robin run)#he's also a last remaining connection to bruce when he's gone (remembering where he comes from) AND he's training damian+#-his own way! with a dash of tough love and workaholic spirit inherited but also a lot of patience and focus on being More than the darkness#idc what ppl say nightwing must die makes sense for these two. its a retcon but one that works imo#that dick buried his head in the sand about how much damian meant/the responsibility he had to him bc it was a commitment he was afraid of#and how damian ultimately was a point of maturation for dick even if he went back to being Nightwing#they were SO goddamn close and now they're still close but only in ways that are implied#and their bond is deemphasized in comparison to each others bond w/ say bruce. which i think is a shame#it was a wrinkle! a fun wrinkle that the batfamily had that in some ways dick understood damian better than Bruce-#-even if he didn't feel like he could handle the responsibility of raising him full time#it kills me that bc of the n52 we never got the handover of the batman mantle (and damian) from dick to bruce#next nightwing writer...include a flashback to that moment AND have damian appear in the book in present....AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!#anyway. dick is damians brother but also damian a little bit imprinted on him like a baby duck and its rubbed off on dick#they're partners they're mentor mentee but most importantly they were batman and robin. and they were the greatest#NOT bc it was all peaches and roses but bc they cared for each other exponentially despite all that
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Whumptober Day 6
Ace x Reader
Warning: implied loss in accident
Edit: forgot this was requested by anon, oops
"Spark on the wire~ fuel on the fire~ preach to the choir~ do~ or die..."
"I know you could sing!" Ace exclaimed revealing himself once you finished singing.
"Ace?" You jumped around to see him. "How long have you- why are you holding your phone?"
"I'm gonna upload this to YouTube~" Ace said, a giant smirk tugging on his lips.
"Oh no you don't!" You climbed off your bed and started charging at him as he ran away laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Come on [Y/n], just give it a try," Ace said as the recording started. "You saw how many views the last one got, people will love to hear your voice again."
"I don't know..." You adjusted the headphones around your neck. "You sure it wasn't because of the end of the video that people kept watching it?"
"I'm sure, you got an amazing voice, you just need to get it out there." Ace smiled at you from behind the camera. His smile made you smile, even if it was a small smile you gave.
"Alright... here goes nothing." You put your headphones on and let the music take over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright, alright, how does it feel to have your first gig offer at 20k subscribers?" Ace asked holding the camera up to get your reaction.
"I can hardly believe it," you laughed, leaning your head on the back of your chair. "Are you sure this isn't a dream?"
"Would you like me to pinch you?"
"Sure."
Ace moved closer and pinched your arm.
"Ow! Not that hard," you whined rubbing your arm.
"You asked for it," Ace chuckled backing up so the camera wasn't in your face, he then turned it around to face him. "She asked for it."
"Oh yeah? Let's see how you like a taste of your own medicine!"
"Woah shit!" Ace started running out of the room, camera still facing him as he rushed out of there. From certain angles, the camera caught you chasing after him from behind. "I didn't ask for this!"
"You did with a smug smirk of yours!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Acccce, there's so many people out there," you whispered walking over to him, holding your mic in your hand.
"This is nothing, [Y/n]," Ace reassured, accidentally getting his hand in the camera's frame. "Way more people watch you sing on YouTube." At least, he's trying to reassure you. Your grip on the mic tightened and you held it closer to your chest. Taking notice of this, he moved the camera away from his face so you could see him. "Hey, you're gonna be alright, just find me in the crowd and act like you're in our chill cave, they even got the same lighting as the place."
You glanced up at Ace before wrapping your arms around him. He hugged you back for good luck, only letting go when the lights went down.
"I better get to my seat now. Don't worry, you'll do great out there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You'll never make me." You turned your back to the camera.
"[Y/n], this a ticket to your dream city!" Ace reminded you as he waved the plane tickets. "They're first class and everything."
"I'm afraid of heights."
"Since when?" Ace questioned, putting the tickets down.
"Since always."
"How come I never knew before?"
"Because we've never been up somewhere high before?"
"What about the top of the monkey bars?"
"That's not 10 thousand miles in the air!" You stated, turning back to the camera.
"Okay it's not that high-"
"You're right, it's probably even higher!" You spun around again and fell back on your bed. You folded your arms and pouted while Ace walked around your bed and looked down at you.
"You know, for someone scared of heights, you fall down on your bed without hesitation," Ace pointed out, you grumbled and narrowed your eyes at him. He sighed and sat down next to you on your bed. "If you're nervous, you don't have to be. Trust me, with some headphones and music playing, you won't even notice where you are."
"Really?" You look at him, fragments of worry still lingering in your eyes.
"Mhm, and I'll be there by your side the entire time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Because the world will never take my heart~!"
The crowd cheers after the performance ends. Ace smiles from behind the camera as he's recording you smiling and waving to the audience. Who knew you'd get this far?
"Thank you everyone!" You began, and more cheers were heard. "Alright, alright, settle down." You waited for the crowd to quiet down before you continued. "You are all so amazing, and I'm grateful you're my fans, but I never would've gotten here if it wasn't for someone, which is why I wanna say a big thank you to Ace."
"Me?" Ace whispered, surprised and caught off guard when you hopped over to him, taking his arm and pulling him on stage.
"Many of you know him if you watch my YouTube channel, he's the reason why I'm standing here today." You gave him a side hug and Ace had to adjust his hold on the camera so he could return the hug. "So thank you, Ace!"
The camera perfectly captured your smile at him, so full of life and joy, a memory he'll treasure forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So thank you, Ace!"
"Hey, bro you in here- oh sorry."
Ace paused the video and looked up at Sabo.
"Didn't mean to interrupt," Sabo apologized. He frowned as he watched Ace close his laptop.
"Nah, it's fine..." Ace pushed the laptop away from him and shifted his position in bed. "What did you need something?"
"No, I was just gonna tell you the pizza's here."
"Oh..." He dipped his head down. "Can you bring a box up for me?"
"Sure thing." Sabo headed out, leaving the door open since he'd be returning shortly.
Ace's gaze wandered around while he waited for food. Your CDs are scattered across the floor next to his radio, he'd probably pick one to play while he's eating. His hoodies you used to steal were thrown over his dresser, your scent faded from them, and even the one he wore now hardly held it anymore. His hand gripped onto your old headphones, trying to hold your presence.
"I'm back." Sabo entered his room with three pizza boxes.
"I only asked for one-"
"You don't expect me to eat two pizza boxes by myself downstairs, do you?"
"Alright..." Ace moved over to make room for Sabo to sit down and place the pizza between them. Silence laid in the room for a bit as the two ate until Sabo broke the ice.
"How long has it been since... the accident?"
"I don't know," Ace shrugged. "Each day is a blur now."
"Hmm..." Sabo hummed and finished his slice before continuing, "You know, I was in your shoes after Kuma passed. It's hard losing a friend-"
"She wasn't just a friend." Ace lowered his slice of pizza. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I just... I loved her you know... and I never got the chance to tell her how I really feel."
Sabo sighed and placed a comforting hand on his brother's back. He wishes he could say something more but alas, what do you say to someone whose heart was stolen by the world?
Tag: @bookandyarndragon @roseoftrafalgar
#whumptober2023#“Do or die you'll never make me; because the world will never take my heart.”#recording#no. 6#one piece#whump fanfiction#whump fic#whump writing#accident#Tw#one piece x reader#one piece scenario#portagas d. ace#one piece ace#fire fist ace#portgas d ace#ace x reader#ace x y/n#ace x you#ace#one piece au#sabo#modern one piece au#modern au#one piece modern au#no 6#requested#anon request
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Reminds me of “The World Was Wide Enough”, a song from the musical, Hamilton!
youtube
#sonic movie 3#sonicmovie3hype#movie shadow#movie sonic#I’d imagine Movie Sonic being Alexander Hamilton and Movie Shadow as Aaron Burr 😭#🎶The World Was Wide Enough Sayonara… Shadow The Hedgehog🎶#Movie Shadow: 🎶 I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory Is this where it gets me on my feet several feet ahead of me? 🎶#🎶 I see it coming do I run or fire my gun or let it be?🎶 🎶There is no beat no melody 🎶#🎶 Sonic a young hedgehog whom I consider an uneasy ally and had our first rivalry Maybe the last face I ever see 🎶#🎶 If I throw away my shot is this how you'll remember me? 🎶 🎶 What if this sacrifice is my legacy? Legacy what is a legacy? 🎶#🎶 It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see 🎶 🎶 I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me 🎶🎶#🎶Earth you great unfinished symphony it was too much of a Mad Mad Mad Mad World for me 🎶#🎶 You let me make a difference a place where even weird technicolour space alien orphan children 🎶#🎶 Can leave their fingerprints and rise up I'm running out of time I'm running and my time's up 🎶#🎶 Wise up eyes up I catch a glimpse of the other side 🎶 🎶My creator my father Gerald Robotnik is on the other side 🎶#🎶 He's with his granddaughter Maria who’s on the other side Teach me how to say goodbye 🎶 🎶 Rise up rise up rise up MARIA! 🎶#🎶 My best friend my sister I’d love you to take your time 🎶 “I'll give them a chance to be happy…”#Company: 🎶 he uses the very last of his chaos energy- Movie Shadow: “CHAOS CONTROL!” Movie Sonic: “WAIT!”#Movie Sonic: “He was unable to maintain his super transformation form any longer” “I tried to stop him but he punched me away”#“I get a drink” = “I get a chilli dog 💀”#🎶Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah 🎶#“I hear cheering in the streets” 🎶Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah 🎶#🎶 They say Gerald and Shadow Were both at her side when she died 🎶#🎶 Death doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints it takes and it takes and it takes 🎶#🎶History obliterates in every picture it paints It paints me and all my mistakes 🎶#Movie Sonic: 🎶 Before Shadow The Hedgehog feel down to Earth he aimed at the sky He may have been the first one to die 🎶#🎶 But I'm the one who paid for it I survived but I paid for it 🎶 🎶Now I’m the “hero” in your history I was too young and blind to see 🎶#🎶I should've known I should've known the world was wide enough for both The Ultimate Lifeform and me 🎶#🎶The World Was Wide Enough For both The Ultimate Lifeform and me… 😭🎶
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#[ aventurine. ] mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing.#[ aventurine: ic. ] they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life.#[ aventurine: inquiries. ] time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets.#[ aventurine: countenance. ] now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well.#[ aventurine: introspection. ] “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest.#[ aventurine: meta. ] the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction.#[ aventurine: etc. ] the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble.#[ aventurine: ipc. ] … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want.#[ aventurine: trio. ] three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family.#[ aventurine: astral express. ] friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to.#[ aventurine: fate. ] if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it?#[ aventurine: past. ] our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha.#[ aventurine: luck. ] he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven.#[ aventurine: topaz. ] since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. [ immobiliter. ]#[ aventurine: robin. ] so she sings; but does she dance? [ avaere. ]#[ aventurine: topaz. ] i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that.#[ aventurine: jade. ] it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too.#[ aventurine: veritas ratio. ] unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here.#[ aventurine: black swan. ] nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper.#[ aventurine: sunday. ] is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion?#[ aventurine: acheron. ] only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager.#[ aventurine: v. youth. ] but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc.#[ aventurine: v. penacony. ] i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time?#[ aventurine: v. future. ] the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed.#tag drop
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I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me
#thylacines can talk#actually i do know it says mmmmm making horror monster ocs is fun#outside of my fandom ocs my ocs and original stories arre dominated by horror elements and religious themes oopsie daisy#i might eventually post about them but the hk brainrot is going strong#but a friend of mine got a commission for me of my doomer human x monster yaoi so you'll see my Main Babygirls soon 🥰#hand in unlovable hand they're fucked and weird and it's an unhealthy relationship and it'll never work as everything is stacked against#them yet each other is all they have and if being together means their death then so be it. Peter should have probably ran. Should have left#would be better off for the majorth of the story had he never met it yet the two are so alike. it's the first thing that's ever unnderstood#him. it's the first 'person' that's ever truly cared for him. And even if it has flaws and his life was ruined by things beyond his#comprehension and he risks his life he's not willing to let go of the only person whos truly seen him and loved him. Who is willing to tear#its world apart and die for him. There are no happy endings here. They were doomed from the start. But at least they have each other.#also tfw your life and 'family' sucks so much that a literal monster who manipulated you and used your body to carry out ruthless murders is#nicer to you than your goddamn brother and friends. like damn dude.#I honestly think if Slaughter was born a human their relationship would be great for both of them they truly fit together like two puzzle#pieces. two outcasts who have so much in common and find comfort in one another. but because of the circumstances of Slaughter's nature and#what it was forced to be this is not a healthy situation or a relationship. Peter comes out better at the end and would be as good as dead#if not for meeting Slaughter so there's a silver lining in all of this but goddamn dude. the bullshit it took to get there.#The fact that his life was so bad literally getting possessed by a monster and almost being murdered numerous times and an insane amount of#trauma and bbeing a target for monsters for the rest of your life literally IMPROVED IT my guy truly cant catch a fucking break 😭😭
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i want dottore to be playable so bad, i need to know his thoughts on diluc
#this is me assuming diluc will be relevant once snezhnaya is released but he has to be right? otherwise i'll break in hoyo's hq and riot#plus more underground organisation info hopefully :3#i discovered scara was made through art of khemia i wasn't aware dottore's segments were done with khaenri'ahn knowledge so that's fun#it also supports the theory of his involvement in arle's origins with the previous knave tbh#but anyways that's not the point. i think. it could be but not now#dottore was interested in diluc and crepus' delusion. he even encouraged diluc so what were his thoughts when diluc went rampant?#do you guys think he's one of the harbingers that almost killed diluc? i want to know what happened so bad aaaa#does he think of diluc as a lab rat#he probably does#dottore would make cryptic tumblr posts about people kinda like how we talk about blorbos#'i want to study him under a microscope' or 'i want to put him through a pasta machine' but literally#'i want to inject dead god remains in their bloodstream and watch them metamorphise into a god surely they won't die'#and then reblogs post with 'you'll never guess what happened :('#hjsgdyuasgdyia
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"Do or Die"
Warnings: kidnapping, captivity, restraints, video recording, forced to watch, knife, blood, stabbing, mcd
Caretaker stared at the link in their inbox that they had been expecting for the last few hours. Whumper had kidnapped Whumpee hours ago, and, as usual, Whumper had sent a link to a live feed of what they were doing to Whumpee.
Why Whumper continued to do that was beyond Caretaker. It led to their capture each and every time. And Whumpee's return to safety, relatively unharmed. Today was no exception.
The team gathered around the conference room table and watched the big screen as Caretaker clicked on the link to the live feed. Whumpee sat in the center of the room, roped to a chair, the rope tied tightly at their wrists and ankles. They were ungagged--unusual for Whumper--and seemed unharmed.
"Start your trace. I want to get Whumpee as quickly as we can," Caretaker ordered the team.
"We need probably about five to ten minutes to establish the trace," Teammate One said.
Teammate Two laughed, "Good thing Whumper is going to wax poetic about all the things they are going to do to Whumpee."
Teammate One smirked as well, "They do have to give that Villain speech, don't they. They can't resist it at all."
Caretaker tried not to smile. It was true, every time Whumper had to broadcast all of the torture and pain they had planned for Whumpee before they even did anything. And it always led to them being caught. Without fail. Caretaker had begun to wonder just how much of a criminal mastermind Whumper actually was.
They had been hoping this time, of course, that Whumper would grab them. Caretaker had set themself up as bait, telling the team that they didn't want to put Whumpee at risk again.
But Whumper hadn't fallen for the bait.
Whumper entered the screen, fingering a knife sheath on their belt, as they circled Whumpee. Whumpee spoke first, eye directly at the camera. "It's ok, Caretaker. I'm ok. They haven't hurt me yet."
"Can you hear us, Caretaker?" Whumper purred as they circled Whumpee once more. "Can you see us, Caretaker?"
Whumpee rolled their eyes. "Take your time, Caretaker, Whumper's gotta be dramatic for a bit." Even Whumpee didn't seem afraid. No one viewed Whumper as a threat because of all the times they had been their own downfall.
Which is why when Whumper, circling behind Whumpee, pulled the knife from the sheath at their side and plunged it into Whumpee's chest, Caretaker couldn't believe their eyes.
Whumpee's cry of pain was strangled and brief, their eyes going wide with shock. Whumper twisted the knife as Whumpee began to slump forward, eyes going dim.
"No," Caretaker sobbed. This wasn't happening. Couldn't be happening. What happened to the pattern?
Neither Teammate One or Teammate Two could tear the gaze from the screen. Could tear their gaze from Whumpee's body, blood oozing from around the knife.
Whumper fisted Whumpee's hair and lifted, bending Whumpee's neck all the way back so they could stare into Whumpee's empty eyes. They spat on Whumpee and dropped Whumpee's head. They stalked toward the camera. "Come get your pet, Caretaker. They're useless to me now. Broken." Whumper spat the last word out with such satisfaction.
Whumper disappeared off screen. Caretaker couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening. Whumpee wasn't dead in the chair. Whumper hadn't stabbed Whumpee to death on camera. This wasn't real.
The camera zoomed in on Whumpee's face. The look of surprise hadn't had time to fade, Whumpee's eyes still wide with the edge of shock. But their eyes....Whumpee's eyes were empty and unseeing.
"Come collect this corpse, Caretaker, before I dispose of it somewhere you will never find," Whumper whispered off screen. "Don't bother looking for me. You won't find me. But I will find you when I'm ready to take my vengeance from your hide, too."
Caretaker couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. They could only sob. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. "It should have been me," they whispered to no one in particular. "It should have been me."
#serickswrites#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#whump community#tw captivity#tw kidnapping#tw restraints#tw video recording#tw forced to watch#tw knife#tw blood#tw stabbing#tw mcd#whumptober 2023#whumptober#whumptober day 6#“do or die you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart”#prompt: recording#prompt: made to watch#prompt: “it should have been me”#queue
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#whumptober 2023#no.6#do or die you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart#transformers#moodboard#character moodboard#rung#idw g1#mtmte#lost light#skids
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tag dump
🔬 // musings // all girls wanna be like that ; bad girls underneath like that 🔬 // about // been through some bad shit ; who would have thought it'd turn me to a savage ? 🔬 // memes // you cling to your papers and pens ; wait until you like me again 🔬 // open // i've been here all night ; i've been here all day 🔬 // music / playlist // i'm just trying give you something to remember through the summertime 🔬 // likes / aesthetic // because tonight i'm making deals with the devil ; and i know it's gonna get me in trouble 🔬 // visage // i only wanna die alive ; never by hands of a broken heart 🔬 // starter call // right now ; i'm in a state of mind i wanna be in like all the time 🔬 // ooc // don't kick that trash can over ; it'll make a mess 🔬 // ic // i don't wanna hear you lie tonight ; now that i've become who i really am 🔬 // psa // one last time ; i need to be the one who takes you home 🔬 // writing // nothing to prove and i'm bulletproof and know what i'm doing 🔬 // wishlist // feel my blood runnin' ; swear the sky's fallin' ; i know that all this shit's fabricated 🔬 // promo // you could hold moonlight in your hands 🔬 // self promo // i don't wanna tiptoe but i don't wanna hide ; but i don't wanna feed this monstrous fire 🔬 // wardrobe // a little bit dangerous ; but baby that's how i want it 🔬 // abilities // when all is said and done ; you'll believe god is a woman
#🔬 // musings // all girls wanna be like that ; bad girls underneath like that#🔬 // about // been through some bad shit ; who would have thought it'd turn me to a savage ?#🔬 // memes // you cling to your papers and pens ; wait until you like me again#🔬 // open // i've been here all night ; i've been here all day#🔬 // music / playlist // i'm just trying give you something to remember through the summertime#🔬 // likes / aesthetic // because tonight i'm making deals with the devil ; and i know it's gonna get me in trouble#🔬 // visage // i only wanna die alive ; never by hands of a broken heart#🔬 // starter call // right now ; i'm in a state of mind i wanna be in like all the time#🔬 // ooc // don't kick that trash can over ; it'll make a mess#🔬 // ic // i don't wanna hear you lie tonight ; now that i've become who i really am#🔬 // psa // one last time ; i need to be the one who takes you home#🔬 // writing // nothing to prove and i'm bulletproof and know what i'm doing#🔬 // wishlist // feel my blood runnin' ; swear the sky's fallin' ; i know that all this shit's fabricated#🔬 // promo // you could hold moonlight in your hands#🔬 // self promo // i don't wanna tiptoe but i don't wanna hide ; but i don't wanna feed this monstrous fire#🔬 // wardrobe // a little bit dangerous ; but baby that's how i want it#🔬 // abilities // when all is said and done ; you'll believe god is a woman
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I absolutely adore how you draw rito and especially Revali! I still can’t get enough of him no matter how much time has passed. I know it’s been a while since you last posted—be it because of life or art block, or both—but I still will offer you my sincerest gratification for the artwork you have deemed worthy enough for us to see! I hope the Rito in Tears of the Kingdom provide us with the same kind of “inspiration” (brain-rot) as in BotW. Even if Revali probably doesn’t make a big appearance; and possibly even Harth as well 😩
this was 😭 so nice to come back to HWUEUFHEJEEHEB THANK YOU 🥹 revali may not be in totk but hey at least harth is ‼️‼️ I have. bigger issues with another particular rito that isn't in totk though 😒
sorry all I could provide was a messy sketch ‼️ idk it probably has to do with reagan 🤥
#totk#where are you kass... WHERE AR EYOU#I'm not dead guys !! I accidentally logged onto here last night and nearly died when I saw people were STILL sending me anons#😭 I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU GUYS FOR SO LONG I LOST INTEREST and although totk may be fun... it is not the same 😔#ay I still haven't finished though ☝️‼️ so u never know !!#actually I do know my favorite character so far is rauru 😮💨 I see a man with long hair n fold bro I'M SORRY IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS#also . I seem to make new social media accounts for different interests I have so there is more art by me in other corners of the internet!#you'll just never know it was by me specifically❤️! BWIDJFJD sorry !#I THIINK I may come back to post some totk art here though ... not sure about that yet though#I said though twice there that was excessive smh but that's too much to retype I think I'll just die#n e way if anyone sees this hi 👋 ‼️#old habits die hard I cannot stop typing here for the lfie of me bro#OK I'M DONE
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Bleh.
#idk. experiencing that fun dooming feeling of knowing im too weird and sensitive to engage in proper fandom.#so i just watch everyone else have a fucking blast and i sit here in my 'i feel way too much way too hard' corner#i want to be able to engage in stuff more. to talk to people more. to ENJOY things more#instead i live in fear every fucking day of what thing is gonna accidentally upset me#and ill have to deal with the mental torment nexus that follows for the next 8 hours#like this cannot be normal. this has to be a thing that can be treated#but i have no money or resources to look into that#i just wish i was normal.#im so tired of making friends while wearing a mask#and realizing i can never take it off because they'll leave as soon as i do#be nice be agreeable be kind you have to you HAVE to or you'll have no one#idk i wanna give up im so tired all the time.#my ideas all feel like shit. all being creative has done is make people drop me and hate me.#im loved until im not what they want they thought i was.#im always needed never wanted.#i keep! trying to find spaces i feel like me in. that i feel GOOD in#and its the same fucking story no matter what. i never do it *right*.#i don't do ships right i don't do trans right i don't do bi right i don't do aro right.#every community has made it clear that im not what they want.#im tired of floating and being lost. what would it matter if i was lost forever that seems to be what the universe wants for me anyway.#im tired of living based on what everyone else wants#I'd rather die finally doing something just for me.#vent
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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
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No.6 "Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."
@whumptober-archive
Recording | Made To Watch | "It should have been me."
A follow up to something we've not posted, around the anniversary of Fao's accident (as well as Hars' and the death of Marcus) Hars falls back into drinking and using his painkillers a little too much...
Harrison hadn't long been discharged after his relapse and poor oramorph dosing. Tai had begged him to stay at his place, promised him rides to and from his place whenever, but he needed him to stay. He'd had a small withdrawal in the scheme of things, and he was slightly grateful it had been so mild. Of course, it still took it all out of him, and with the next lot of anniversaries coming up, he didn’t have anything left.
In the end, he'd given in to Tai. It was the best option he'd been given; Steve would be at work most of the day, as would Fao, and he'd spent too many breakdowns at the Daniels to spend another. Tai hadn't run during his breakdown in hospital, and, as stupid as he knew it was, he almost felt like they'd become stronger together. Besides, he liked Tai's company, his boyfriend managing to make him laugh even when he was at the bottom.
Tai had had holidays to take regardless, so happily took those to stay off with Harrison. They'd chatted more when they were in hospital about everything, though he could tell that Harrison had censored most of it. So, of course, Tai had planned the week out - duvet days and favourite films, takeouts instead of cooking, just lazy days together. Harrison hadn't been allowed to see the full plan, but the fact Tai had even just taken the time off work meant the world to him. Emergency meds had been prescribed, just in case, and Tai kept them safe. They'd picked up everything they needed from Harrison’s, but Tai had also bought soft pjs and snugly socks for him too.
All of Tai’s little touches almost overwhelmed him; nobody had gone so far, done so much like this for him. They settled on the sofa together, Tai wrapped around Harrison and a daft film playing in the background. Food was ordered and eaten, and Harrison was, surprisingly to him, feeling a bit better when he finally drifted off.
Tai was so, so glad to have Harrison at his. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, hard to fully understand, but he knew that his boyfriend was safe and on the road to recovery, and that was what mattered. There were still things left unsaid, but there would be time for that. When they fell asleep in bed that night, Tai held him close, running a hand through his hair and promising him under his breath that he was always going to be there for him. He waited until he was sure Harrison was asleep before he finally let himself drift, warm and comfortable.
Harrison had expected a night of no sleep, just tossing and turning, but with tai by his side, somehow he didn't. It was the sun that woke him, the room starting to get bright. While his first thought was Marcus, that it should have been him with him, it was Tai as he curled up again, Tai he wanted.
Tai woke when Harrison did, humming softly. “Hey, good morning.” He greeted softly.
He pressed closer, skin against skin, just breathing in his scent. His attempt at a greeting was half-hearted, somewhere between a hum and grunt.
“Sleep okay?” He asked. “I figured we could stay in bed for a while.”
Harrison nodded against his chest, reaching his hand out to trail his fingers across Tai's bare skin. "I don't want to move."
“Let’s not, then.”
"I need to go out."
“Oh?”
"I'll just go myself, though. It's fine."
“No, it’s okay. I’ll drive you. When do you need to go?”
"You don't know the way."
“I’m sure you can direct me.”
He closed his eyes with a sigh, defeated. "Okay."
“Are you wanting to go now? Or stay in bed for a bit first?”
He wasn't sure he could manage it right that moment. "Later."
“Later.” Tai agreed. “Don’t know about you, but I’m pretty comfy.”
He absently traced his fingertips over pale skin. "I'm home."
“I hope I’m always home to you.”
He tipped his face up to kiss him softly. "Me too."
Tai smiled against his lips. “You’re pretty special, you know that? I’m lucky to have you.”
There was a sadness to his eyes. "I'm not, you know that."
“You are.”
He shook his head, kissing him gently again. "Don't be daft."
“Always daft. But I’m telling the truth.”
"Thank you."
“You want bacon for breakfast?”
"Prefer you." He muttered before his brain caught up, guilt flaring. "Yeah, bacon."
Tai laughed. “Oh, it’s like that is it?”
He hummed with a shrug. "Maybe."
“Tease.”
"I'm not the tease."
“Oh, that’s fighting talk.”
"Not looking like you." He trailed his fingers further down. "Especially topless."
He laughed again. “Well, it’s warm having you on top of me.”
"Oh, so my fault? I can leave if you're complaining."
“Never said it was a complaint.”
Harrison still pulled back from Tai, mischief in his eyes.
“Hey, come on.”
"What?" He feigned innocence.
“Come back.” He said with a pout.
"Make me."
Tai sat up, leaning forward to cup Harrison’s face and kiss him.
Harrison grinned into it, his hand moving to rest on Tai's hip. It was lazy and relaxed, just what Harrison needed to take his mind off things.
Tai melted into Harrison’s touch. He knew full well that Harrison probably wasn’t in the right headspace for this, but it was nice to show him he cared, that he still wanted him, after everything.
He pulled back with a sigh, brushing a strand of hair from Tai's face. "I do love you, you know?"
“Of course I know.” Tai said softly.
"I didn't do it because I didn't love you." Harrison couldn't meet his eyes. "I know I've said it before. I know it doesn’t make it better. But, it's true."
Tai sighed, his thumb stroking Harrison's cheek. "I know."
He leaned into his touch, letting his eyes close for a moment. With a shaky sigh, he kissed Tai's hand. "I wouldn't hate it if you drove me. But…but it's for Marcus, it's the anniversary of his…his death. I always go."
Tai could tell Harrison was close to tears, his heart breaking at the shake of his boyfriend’s voice. He swallowed thickly, though felt out of his depth. "I'd be honoured to take you. Do you take flowers?"
Harrison sat up, drawing his knee to his chest. "Sometimes. Sometimes I take some jammy dodgers, he loved them. And then the letters I've written him."
“We’ll go via the shops, then. Grab some stuff.” Tai decided.
He managed a smile, falling a little more in love with him. "Thank you."
���And we can get some stuff for us, too.”
"Yeah."
“Whatever you fancy.” Tai said, kissing his forehead.
They didn't stay in bed too much longer, swinging by the shops before heading to the cemetery. It was a little bit of a drive, Harrison was quiet on the way, and Tai didn't push it. He couldn't imagine what he was going through, and he didn't begin to pretend. He rested his hand on his thigh as he drove, hoping it would be of some comfort to his boyfriend. In response, Harrison rested his hand on Tai's, saying nothing but appreciating it all the same.
When they arrived, Tai found a parking space, and then looked over at his boyfriend. “Do you want me to wait here? Or come with? I don’t mind.”
"I, uh, I don't know." He'd never had anyone like Tai with him; Steve had brought him when he was still recovering, but then he'd always been alone.
“Why don’t I come, and then if you want to be alone you can just say and I’ll go back to the car.”
"Thank you."
He shrugged. “No need to thank me.”
"There is."
“Just doing the right thing.” Tai said, getting out of the car. He offered Harrison a hand once he was out, making sure they had the bag of stuff, and then he let his boyfriend lead the way.
Harrison didn't say anything as they walked, gripping Tai's hand. He appreciated the support, more than he'd expected, and it choked him up more than he'd thought it would.
Tai didn’t say anything either, not sure exactly what to say. He let Harrison lead the way, and as they arrived at the grave, and he hesitated. Did Harrison want him to come closer? Would he rather have a little bit of space?
"Can I have the bag?"
“Yeah, of course.” Tai said, offering it to him.
"Thanks." He took it awkwardly, taking a moment. "Could, uh, could I have a minute?"
“‘Course.” Tai said, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Thanks." He repeated, padding over to the grave.
He struggled to his knees and then sat, brushing a small piece of moss from the headstone. He pulled the flowers out, settling them in the small cup, making sure they were neat and tidy.
"Hey, Marcus." His voice cracked. "Tai drove me here today, you’d like him. Fao likes him, and Steve too. He bought the flowers for you, had the shop assistant go and find some biscuits too, you should have seen him. He was adamant we weren't leaving until I had them for you.
"I fucked up the other week, you'd have been so mad at me for it, told me to not be so daft. I didn't mean to start drinking again, but it was just too much and it was the easier way out." He took a shaky breath, tears falling. "I really fucking wish you were here. I really miss you. I don't know how I'm supposed to just keep living without you. You'd have done so much more than I have, I just fuck everything up. You should still be here. If I'd been a bit slower, you'd still have been here. It should have been me."
He could barely catch his breath between the sobs, and the guilt about their accident was only made worse by his want to be held by Tai, not Marcus. He turned to his boyfriend, stretching an arm out for him.
Tai had walked a little way away, giving Hars the space he needed. He stayed close enough just to hear his voice, but not what he’d said, and he’d been looking at his feet in the grass when he heard Harrison’s sobs. Looking up, he frowned, noticing how he reached out for him. He was immediately on his knees by his side, wrapping his arms around him.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
He fell into Tai's arms, gripping tightly onto his hoodie. He didn't say anything, didn't bother to try, just let himself be held, breathing in Tai's scent.
“You’re okay, it’s okay. Just breathe, I’ve got you.” Tai rubbed over his back soothingly, his heart breaking for him.
"It should have been me."
“Hey, no.”
His shoulders shook with each sob. "It should have."
“No, no. He wouldn’t think that.”
"But I do."
Tai moved to kiss his forehead. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I get to love you.”
#whumptober 2023#no. 6 “Do or die you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart.”#“it should have been me”#fic#oc#whump writing#whump prompt#emotional whump#harrison cunningham#taidgh cole#hars x tai#implied alcoholism tw#alcoholism tw#inappropriate use of opiates tw#death of a partner tw#grief#anniversaries#dead partner tw#hars and fao have a lot in common lol#tai is a sweet one
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the thing about karlach's ending that pisses me off is that it doesn't make sense if you do everything you can for her though. the gondians are master workers of infernal iron, and if you liberate the house of hope, and make sure dammon lives, you have all the ingredients needed to help karlach's condition improve. it simply doesn't make sense for her to say that she will NEVER EVER go back to avernus even when you have a safe place to set up an independent hellforge and work on a new non-explosive heart replacement. it frustrated me immensely that in my playthrough because i didn't choose to romance her and i had wyll become a baldur's gate bigwig, she chose actively to explode and die... when i had everything i needed to save her life. to go on the terminal illness theme, it felt to me like she had cancer and i had chemo and she was rejecting it and choosing to die horribly instead of get it treated... which totally does happen IRL, but isn't exactly FAIR to her as a character. it's good writing because it makes me engage emotionally with it to this level but it's frustrating because i felt like i should have been able to save her with the pieces available in the game.
this is all also leaving aside that gale has a scroll of true resurrection in his fuckening satchel. WHY can't i immediately use it on Karlach after she 'plodes lol is Gale really that selfish?
okay fuck it, I'll bite. yeah, it IS unfair and frustrating and she doesn't deserve any of it, and that was kinda the whole point and it's why I think they did such a good job with Karlach's arc. because, again, it was a pretty clear metaphor for terminal illness and the associated grief/helplessness/denial/scrambling for solutions that comes with dealing with it. your chemo metaphor is interesting because as you've mentioned people DO often choose not to go through chemo, because chemo itself is miserable and draining and wrecks your body and is not guaranteed to work, and some people would prefer to just remain as active and present as possible for as long as possible and then go out when it's time, especially if the cancer is aggressive and terminal and chemo may not do much. kind of like going to Avernus would be miserable and draining and dangerous, and Karlach stated many times how much she hates Avernus and would rather die than go back. how on earth does it not make sense that she wouldn't choose that, especially believing as she did that she would immediately be shanghaied back into Zariel's service indefinitely after so many years of being desperate for freedom.
though ironically, people in real life sometimes react to cancer patients choosing not to do chemo or other procedures that suck/are invasive and awful the same way you're reacting to Karlach not wanting to go to Avernus. sometimes, and for some people, it's not about just extending your life as far as possible at any cost. there's a point at which it isn't worth it, and that point is different for everyone. and BOY does that make some folks upset when a loved one's "it's not worth it" point is different from theirs. It's why DNR is a thing, and it's also why you should think very carefully about who you want making medical decisions for you if you're incapacitated and have a talk with that person/clear instructions written up.
I already mentioned in the post that they sort of dropped the ball on not explaining why all those potential avenues don't work so I don't know what you expect me to say about that, but I stand by my previous statement of "all I really need them to say is 'yeah the gondians agree, this thing is fucked' and I'll accept that." I would love for them to add that in. but I don't think it should be fixable.
finally, considering that the scroll of true resurrection was intended to be used on Gale during that quest, yes it's on Larian for letting you revive him in other ways and keep the thing, but it's still metagame-y and I don't think it qualifies as a plot hole so much as a game design flaw. it annoys me when people bring up "why didn't they account for my cheesing in the story" arguments as writing critiques.
#Karlach's story would be diminished by a happy 'everything is fixed' ending and I will die on this hill#I've never been able to bring myself to make her go to avernus I just cannot do that to her#she's made it clear what she wants#so my mom had this elderly neighbor#very sweet old woman we all loved her#she was diagnosed with aggressive terminal 'you have a couple months to live' cancer not too long ago#she really really did not want to go through chemo#but her insurance wouldn't pay for the treatments she did want/need unless she went through a round of chemo#and since she couldn't leave her husband on the hook for that#she spent the last month of her life sick and miserable and unable to do much of anything#and we're all still pissed at her insurance for doing that to her#so hopefully you'll understand why your somewhat cavalier take on chemo has rubbed me the wrong way
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I have been thinking about this scene a lot
#also about the 'I used to admire you! from now on we are irreconcilable!' - '*laughs* you used to admire me? what good was your admiration?#what value did your loyalty in secret ever give me? When everyone attacked and spoke against me did you stand up? What difference at all#call your 'irreconcilability' possibly make to me now when your admiration was something so worthless I was never even aware of it'#mdzs#the untamed#but also current events really do bring this shit to mind#to be clear I'm thinking abt this because the way people talk about Palestinians reminded me both of the 'oh so you can attack me and if I#die it's just bad luck but if I attack I must be so careful not to hurt anyone' and the 'you'll lose sympathy' 'OH we're irreconcilable?!#what good was your loyalty to me in silence?' because yeah no shit. What loss is losing sympathy that was only felt in a heart in secret.
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WHUMPTOBER - DAY 3 / DAY 6
— like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon / do or die, you’ll never make me, because the world will never take my heart
[recording, made to watch, journal, solitary confinement | “it should’ve been me,” “make it stop”]
title: i will follow you into the dark characters (pov): mike & pac (& fit) word count: 7,918 relationships: pac & mike, gen. warnings: chose not to use archive warnings. teen & up audiences. anxiety/panic attacks. ptsd.
#whumptober2023#no.3#no.6#lyric#like crying out in empty rooms with no one there except the moon#do or die you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart#journal#solitary confinement#“make it stop”#qsmp#fic#ptsd tw#anxiety tw#panic attack tw#qsmp fic#qsmp pac#qsmp mike#qsmp tazercraft#ev;resgate#sen's qsmp whumptober
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