#hars x tai

[faofinn]

No.6 "Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."

@whumptober-archive

Recording | Made To Watch | "It should have been me."

A follow up to something we've not posted, around the anniversary of Fao's accident (as well as Hars' and the death of Marcus) Hars falls back into drinking and using his painkillers a little too much...

Harrison hadn't long been discharged after his relapse and poor oramorph dosing. Tai had begged him to stay at his place, promised him rides to and from his place whenever, but he needed him to stay. He'd had a small withdrawal in the scheme of things, and he was slightly grateful it had been so mild. Of course, it still took it all out of him, and with the next lot of anniversaries coming up, he didn’t have anything left. 

In the end, he'd given in to Tai. It was the best option he'd been given; Steve would be at work most of the day, as would Fao, and he'd spent too many breakdowns at the Daniels to spend another. Tai hadn't run during his breakdown in hospital, and, as stupid as he knew it was, he almost felt like they'd become stronger together.  Besides, he liked Tai's company, his boyfriend managing to make him laugh even when he was at the bottom. 

Tai had had holidays to take regardless, so happily took those to stay off with Harrison. They'd chatted more when they were in hospital about everything, though he could tell that Harrison had censored most of it. So, of course, Tai had planned the week out - duvet days and favourite films, takeouts instead of cooking, just lazy days together. Harrison hadn't been allowed to see the full plan, but the fact Tai had even just taken the time off work meant the world to him. Emergency meds had been prescribed, just in case, and Tai kept them safe. They'd picked up everything they needed from Harrison’s, but Tai had also bought soft pjs and snugly socks for him too.

All of Tai’s little touches almost overwhelmed him; nobody had gone so far, done so much like this for him. They settled on the sofa together, Tai wrapped around Harrison and a daft film playing in the background. Food was ordered and eaten, and Harrison was, surprisingly to him, feeling a bit better when he finally drifted off.

Tai was so, so glad to have Harrison at his. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, hard to fully understand, but he knew that his boyfriend was safe and on the road to recovery, and that was what mattered. There were still things left unsaid, but there would be time for that. When they fell asleep in bed that night, Tai held him close, running a hand through his hair and promising him under his breath that he was always going to be there for him. He waited until he was sure Harrison was asleep before he finally let himself drift, warm and comfortable. 

Harrison had expected a night of no sleep, just tossing and turning, but with tai by his side, somehow he didn't. It was the sun that woke him, the room starting to get bright. While his first thought was Marcus, that it should have been him with him, it was Tai as he curled up again, Tai he wanted. 

Tai woke when Harrison did, humming softly. “Hey, good morning.” He greeted softly. 

He pressed closer, skin against skin, just breathing in his scent. His attempt at a greeting was half-hearted, somewhere between a hum and grunt.

“Sleep okay?” He asked. “I figured we could stay in bed for a while.”

Harrison nodded against his chest, reaching his hand out to trail his fingers across Tai's bare skin.  "I don't want to move." 

“Let’s not, then.”

"I need to go out."

“Oh?”

"I'll just go myself, though. It's fine."

“No, it’s okay. I’ll drive you. When do you need to go?”

"You don't know the way."

“I’m sure you can direct me.”

He closed his eyes with a sigh, defeated. "Okay."

“Are you wanting to go now? Or stay in bed for a bit first?”

He wasn't sure he could manage it right that moment. "Later."

“Later.” Tai agreed. “Don’t know about you, but I’m pretty comfy.”

He absently traced his fingertips over pale skin. "I'm home."

“I hope I’m always home to you.”

He tipped his face up to kiss him softly. "Me too."

Tai smiled against his lips. “You’re pretty special, you know  that? I’m lucky to have you.”

There was a sadness to his eyes. "I'm not, you know that."

“You are.”

He shook his head, kissing him gently again. "Don't be daft."

“Always daft. But I’m telling the truth.”

"Thank you."

“You want bacon for breakfast?”

"Prefer you." He muttered before his brain caught up, guilt flaring. "Yeah, bacon."

Tai laughed. “Oh, it’s like that is it?”

He hummed with a shrug. "Maybe."

“Tease.”

"I'm not the tease."

“Oh, that’s fighting talk.”

"Not looking like you." He trailed his fingers further down. "Especially topless."

He laughed again. “Well, it’s warm having you on top of me.”

"Oh, so my fault? I can leave if you're complaining."

“Never said it was a complaint.”

Harrison still pulled back from Tai, mischief in his eyes. 

“Hey, come on.”

"What?" He feigned innocence. 

“Come back.” He said with a pout. 

"Make me."

Tai sat up, leaning forward to cup Harrison’s face and kiss him.

Harrison grinned into it, his hand moving to rest on Tai's hip. It was lazy and relaxed, just what Harrison needed to take his mind off things. 

Tai melted into Harrison’s touch. He knew full well that Harrison probably wasn’t in the right headspace for this, but it was nice to show him he cared, that he still wanted him, after everything. 

He pulled back with a sigh, brushing a strand of hair from Tai's face. "I do love you, you know?"

“Of course I know.” Tai said softly. 

"I didn't do it because I didn't love you." Harrison couldn't meet his eyes. "I know I've said it before. I know it doesn’t make it better. But, it's true."

Tai sighed, his thumb stroking Harrison's cheek. "I know."

He leaned into his touch, letting his eyes close for a moment. With a shaky sigh, he kissed Tai's hand. "I wouldn't hate it if you drove me. But…but it's for Marcus, it's the anniversary of his…his death. I always go."

Tai could tell Harrison was close to tears, his heart breaking at the shake of his boyfriend’s voice. He swallowed thickly, though felt out of his depth. "I'd be honoured to take you. Do you take flowers?"

Harrison sat up, drawing his knee to his chest. "Sometimes. Sometimes I take some jammy dodgers, he loved them. And then the letters I've written him."

“We’ll go via the shops, then. Grab some stuff.” Tai decided. 

He managed a smile, falling a little more in love with him. "Thank you."

“And we can get some stuff for us, too.”

"Yeah."

“Whatever you fancy.” Tai said, kissing his forehead. 

They didn't stay in bed too much longer, swinging by the shops before heading to the cemetery. It was a little bit of a drive, Harrison was quiet on the way, and Tai didn't push it. He couldn't imagine what he was going through, and he didn't begin to pretend. He rested his hand on his thigh as he drove, hoping it would be of some comfort to his boyfriend. In response, Harrison rested his hand on Tai's,  saying nothing but appreciating it all the same.

When they arrived, Tai found a parking space, and then looked over at his boyfriend. “Do you want me to wait here? Or come with? I don’t mind.”

"I, uh, I don't know." He'd never had anyone like Tai with him; Steve had brought him when he was still recovering, but then he'd always been alone.

“Why don’t I come, and then if you want to be alone you can just say and I’ll go back to the car.”

"Thank you."

He shrugged. “No need to thank me.”

"There is."

“Just doing the right thing.” Tai said, getting out of the car. He offered Harrison a hand once he was out, making sure they had the bag of stuff, and then he let his boyfriend lead the way. 

Harrison didn't say anything as they walked, gripping Tai's hand. He appreciated the support, more than he'd expected, and it choked him up more than he'd thought it would. 

Tai didn’t say anything either, not sure exactly what to say. He let Harrison lead the way, and as they arrived at the grave, and he hesitated. Did Harrison want him to come closer? Would he rather have a little bit of space?

"Can I have the bag?"

“Yeah, of course.” Tai said, offering it to him. 

"Thanks." He took it awkwardly, taking a moment. "Could, uh, could I have a minute?"

“‘Course.” Tai said, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"Thanks." He repeated, padding over to the grave. 

He struggled to his knees and then sat, brushing a small piece of moss from the headstone. He pulled the flowers out, settling them in the small cup, making sure they were neat and tidy.

"Hey, Marcus." His voice cracked. "Tai drove me here today, you’d like him. Fao likes him, and Steve too. He bought the flowers for you, had the shop assistant go and find some biscuits too, you should have seen him. He was adamant we weren't leaving until I had them for you.

"I fucked up the other week, you'd have been so mad at me for it, told me to not be so daft. I didn't mean to start drinking again, but it was just too much and it was the easier way out." He took a shaky breath, tears falling. "I really fucking wish you were here. I really miss you. I don't know how I'm supposed to just keep living without you. You'd have done so much more than I have, I just fuck everything up. You should still be here. If I'd been a bit slower, you'd still have been here. It should have been me."

He could barely catch his breath between the sobs, and the guilt about their accident was only made worse by his want to be held by Tai, not Marcus. He turned to his boyfriend, stretching an arm out for him. 

Tai had walked a little way away, giving Hars the space he needed. He stayed close enough just to hear his voice, but not what he’d said, and he’d been looking at his feet in the grass when he heard Harrison’s sobs. Looking up, he frowned, noticing how he reached out for him. He was immediately on his knees by his side, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” 

He fell into Tai's arms, gripping tightly onto his hoodie. He didn't say anything, didn't bother to try, just let himself be held, breathing in Tai's scent. 

“You’re okay, it’s okay. Just breathe, I’ve got you.” Tai rubbed over his back soothingly, his heart breaking for him. 

"It should have been me."

“Hey, no.”

His shoulders shook with each sob. "It should have."

“No, no. He wouldn’t think that.”

"But I do."

Tai moved to kiss his forehead. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I get to love you.” 

[docgold13]

365 Marvel Comics Paper Cut-Out SuperHeroes - One Hero, Every Day, All Year…

February 19th - Silhouette

In the midst of the Siancong Civil War, an American recon patrol was dispatched to traverse through Cambodia toward the Siancong boarder.  This special recon patrolled, called the Half-Fulls, ended up stumbling upon an ancient temple of a cult known as the Dragon's Breath which had remained hidden for centuries. The temple had been built upon a wellspring of raw, primal energy called the ‘Well of All Things.’ The inhabitants, aided by prophecy, decided to breed a superior race that would one day unite with the ways of the West and conquer the world. They believed that this union would produce children capable of harnessing the power of the Well. The men of the Half-Fulls were asked to father these mystical children in exchange for untold riches and power   All but one agreed   Andrew Chord chose to accept the cults offer.  He ended up fathering two children, a son named Midnight’s Fire and a daughter he named Silhouette  

Exposure to the well appeared to facilitate Silhouette's being born with the X-Gene, bestowing her mutant powers.  For Silhouette, she discovered she has the ability to manipulate Darkforce energies.  This enables her to cast and control shadows as well as render herself invisible in low light environments.  To compliment these abilities, Silhouette trained to become a highly accomplished acrobat and hand-to-hand combatant.  

Silhouette and her brother, Midnight's Fire, were hidden from their father and sinister Grandmother Tai when their mother Miyami faked their death as children. Silhouette and Midnight's Fire were operating as independent vigilantes in the streets of New York City, when they met Dwayne Taylor before he had become Night Thrasher, and the three began an organized effort to take down various New York City street gangs.

This partnership ended when Silhouette was shot and paralyzed from the legs down in a sting gone bad. Midnight’s Fire blamed Dwayne for his sister’s injury.  He went on to become a cop killer and drug lord in order to lure Dwayne into a physical confrontation he could not possibly win. Later the partially paralyzed Silhouette reunited with Dwayne, distancing herself from her brother's evil actions.  

Despite her injury, Silhouette was intent on remaining an active vigilante.  She fashioned a specialized pair of crutches that both aided her movement and could also be used as escrima sticks.  

Silhouette joined the New Warriors in a joint effort to bring down Diego Casseas’ effort to utilize the Well of All Things to take over the world.  She remained with the team for some time thereafter, leaving shortly after her teammates, Night Thrasher and Rage, were voted out of The New Warriors.  

More recently, Silhouette aided the newer iteration of The New Warriors in a battle against an Inhuman villain who also possessed Darkforce manipulation powers.  Silhouette first appeared in the pages of New Warriors #2 (1990).  

[hopelikethemoon]

Muted Worries (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Muted Worries Rating: PG-13 Length: 1900 Warnings: Post-Partum Depression, discussion of post-pregnancy body changes, and lots and lots of ANGST.  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in 1997 about two weeks after Sofía‘s birth. I literally wish I could see this chapter as a scene, because the emotions hurt while writing this.  Summary: Reader grapples with her emotions and worries. 

@grapemama​​ @seawhisperer​​ @huliabitch​​ @beccaplaying​​ @thewallpapergoesorido​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​ @livasaurasrex​​ @ham4arrow​​ @plexflexico​​ @readsalot73​​ @hdlynn​​ @lokiaddicted​​ @randomness501​​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​  @roxypeanut​​ @snivellusim​​ @lukesrighthand​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​ @awesomefandomsunited​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​ @ah-callie​​ @swhiskeys​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​ @u-wakatoshii​ @space-floozy​​ @cable-kenobi​​ @cool-ultra-nerd​​ @himbopoes​​ @findhimfives​​ @pedrosdoll​​ @frietiemeloen​​ @arrowswithwifi​​  @cinewhore​​ @random066​​ @uncomicalhumour​​ @heather-lynn​​ @domino-oh-damn​​ @cyarikaaa​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​ @yabby-girl​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​ @punkass-potato​​ @coredrive​​ @pascalesque​​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​​ @queenquazar​​ @sabinemorans​​ @buckstaposition​ @holkaskrosnou​ @yespolkadotkitty​​@seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​ @jaime1110​​ @katlikeme​

Josie was obsessed with her sister. If Chucho was holding Sofía, Josie was perched on the chair beside him; if Javier was carrying her around, Josie was right underfoot; and if you were feeding her, Josie was there asking you to hold the bottle. 

You wished you could harness her enthusiasm and feel something. But you couldn’t. You brushed it off as lingering exhaustion, a sort of fatigue that ran straight to the core of your being. 

Everything hurt. Worse than it had with Josie. Or at least, worse than you remembered. Sofía was smaller than her sister and yet it felt like you’d given birth to a water buffalo, instead of a baby. 

No one ever talked about how miserable women felt after childbirth — and it wasn’t like you could even complain about it to Connie. You already felt guilty enough for feeling miserable. Like you were a bad mother for being disinterested in everything. 

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. You’d tried to avoid prescriptions your entire life — for obvious reasons — but this was one you couldn’t avoid. 

The fact that you couldn’t feed your daughter was probably another part of it. And pumping a dozen times a day, only to send it down the drain was a depressing venture. No one talked about how much this shit fucked a woman up. No one. 

“Hey—“ Javier started as he walked into the bedroom. 

“Knock much?” You snapped. 

Javier froze and you watched as the warmth faded from his expression, “Shit. I’ll come back.” He muttered as he moved to retreat from the room. 

“Just stay.” You said with a beleaguered sigh as you shut off the machine, unscrewing the full bottle and sitting it aside on the nightstand. “Sorry.”

“I can go.” Javier offered, not quite meeting your eyes as he looked across the room at you. 

“You’re already here, just stay.”

You readjusted the pump on your other breast, attaching the second bottle before turning the machine back on. The quiet whirring filled the uncomfortable silence that had settled between you. 

Javier lingered by the door, like he was planning for a quick escape. You couldn’t even blame him. None of this was worth the hassle. 

“Pops thought it might be nice if we got out of the house and went to the beach this evening.” He suggested, rubbing his lips together as he glanced at you. 

“I’ll see if I’m up to it.” You winced when the suction of the pump pinched your skin. “Shit.”

“Do you need—“

“I’ve got it.” You waved him off as you shut the pump off and pulled it off your breast, causing a little milk to spill. “Actually, can you grab me the towel?” You pointed to the hand towel sitting on the foot of the bed. 

Javier closed the distance between the two of you, snatching the towel off the bed and passing it to you. “How are you feeling?”

You rolled your eyes, “Like shit.” You wiped off your breast, sitting the towel aside as you gestured to the full bottle. “Can you throw it away? I don’t want to see it.”

“Of course,” He said softly, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, before taking the bottle into the bathroom to get rid of it. 

It was fucking defeating. 

“Are the stitches still bothering you?” Javier questioned as he stepped back into the bedroom with the empty bottle. 

You shrugged, hooking the machine back up to finish pumping your left breast. “They’re itchy.”

Javier hesitantly perched on the edge of the bed, reaching out to rest his hand on your leg. “That means they’re healing.” He reminded you. 

“I know.” You nodded slowly as you watched the milk drip into the bottle. “I hate this, Javi.” 

He squeezed your leg, “You still gonna try to hold out until you can breastfeed?”

“I don’t know,” You admitted, chewing on your bottom lip. You hated feeling weak and this shit made you feel like you were frail and stupid. Crying over not being able to feed your child. No one understood. “We’ll see.”

“I’m, uh… I’m sorry for barging in.” Javier said quietly, his brows drawn together as he looked down at where his hand was resting on your leg. “I should’ve knocked.”

“It’s fine.” You told him with a tightlipped smile. “It’s not really that big of a deal.” You reached down to catch his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “The beach sounds nice. Even if I don’t go, you and your dad should go. He’s been cooped up here for too long.” 

“He’s gonna stay another week,” Javier informed, his jaw working slowly as he looked down at where your hands were. “Then he’ll be out of our hair and things can go back to normal.”

Normal. 

Did you even remember what normal was? Had you felt like this with Josie? You didn’t think you had — you hadn’t exactly had the privilege of falling apart when you were in Colombia. 

What was normal? 

“Yeah.” You nodded, sitting up a little straighter then as you held out the second filled bottle, “Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth and took the bottle from you. He was in the bathroom longer this time — quiet. 

When he emerged with the rinsed out bottle, his eyes looked red, but you didn’t have the energy to care. You barely had the energy to care about anything these days. 

“You gonna stay in here?” Javier questioned, shifting anxiously from foot-to-foot as he stood at the end of the bed, not quite meeting your gaze. 

“I need my heating pad.” You answered, sliding your legs over the side of the bed, wiggling your toes as you pressed your feet to the floor. “I’ll come out there.”

Javier pulled open the door and held it open for you as you wrapped your throw around your shoulders and made your way towards him. 

“Hey,” You whispered, stopping in front of him. 

“Yeah?” He arched a brow. 

“I love you.” You told him gently, reaching out to brush your knuckles against his cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, before making your way out the door. 

“Mommy!” Josie cheered, as you stepped into the family room. “Sissy burped big!”

“Did she?” You laughed softly, summoning as much enthusiasm as you could for her benefit. “Did your abuelo feed her good?”

You caught sight of the wary look Chucho gave Javier as his eyes shifted between the two of you. But he was quick to put whatever that was aside when he met your gaze. 

“She ate like a prize calf,” He remarked, cradling her to his chest as she fussed at the new commotion in the family room. “How are you feeling, chica?”

You sank down on the sofa and adjusted the heating pad over your stomach, “Cramping.” You offered with a shrug. “And tired.” 

“Can I kiss it better?” Josie asked innocently as she crouched down next to the sofa. 

“It might work,” You intoned, playing with her curls. 

“O-Tay, mommy!” Josie leaned over you and pressed a kiss to your stomach. “All better!”

You smiled at her and echoed, “All better!” 

Josie giggled, before prancing across the family room to the armchair where Chucho was sitting. “Sissy! You gots to get bigger so you’re more fun.” 

You tilted your head to look behind you, catching Javier’s gaze. You wished you knew what was going on behind those stormy looks, but you weren’t certain you could stomach more guilt. You knew it wasn’t fair to make him bottle it all up — but you couldn’t do it. 

Javier rested his hand on the arm of the sofa, leaning over you. 

“What are you doing?” You laughed, a genuine laugh that made your heart warm. You reached up and played your fingers through his hair. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He breathed out as he peppered a line of soft kisses along your jaw, before his breath warmed your cheek by your ear. “I love you too.” Javier murmured and you swore you felt a tear slide down his cheek and land on yours, before it fell into your hair. 

 ——

 “How was the beach?” You questioned sleepily as the bathroom light cut into the darkness of the bedroom and woke you up. 

“Good.” Javier offered, shutting off the light and making his way through the darkness. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright.” You assured him, rubbing at your eyes as they adjusted to the lack of light. “What time is it?”

“Just after nine.” He answered as the bed dipped behind you. “I fed Sofía.”

You reached out and ran your hand down his back, “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Javier sighed heavily and you listened to the sound of his watch dropping onto the nightstand, before he settled down on the bed beside you. “How was your evening alone?”

“I got two children cleaned, dressed, and down before eight.” You grinned, even though he couldn’t see you. “An achievement.” You stretched your leg out beneath the covers, running your foot along his calf. “What’d you do?”

“Let Stevie run around the beach,” He explained, shifting closer to you. “Took pops down to the icecream shop on the boardwalk.”

“Ohh. Now you’re making me sad I didn’t go.” You shifted closer to him too, draping your arm over his chest. 

“It was good.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Pops used to take me out on this one stretch of road when we had our serious talks. Beach doesn’t have the same feel.”

Your heart clenched in your chest. “Is Chucho alright?” You remembered all the times Javier used to talk about those long talks with his father. 

“Hmm?” Javier sniffed. “Yeah, he’s good. Fucker’s gonna outlive both of us and the girls, I bet.” 

“Oh.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “Well that’s good.” 

Javier curled his fingers around your hand, squeezing it three short times. “There’s nothing to worry about, baby. We just used the time to talk. Father to son.”

“That’s good.” You mustered up just enough conviction in your voice to mask the way your nerves were settling in. You remembered Javier telling you about the time Chucho took him out on a drive to talk about how foolish he was for asking Lorraine to marry him. 

Were you some mistake Chucho wanted to lecture him on? The thought didn’t make sense — you were pretty sure Chucho liked you more than Javier. But those fears still crept into your mind, nevertheless. 

“I bet Stevie enjoyed getting two hours of free beach access.” 

Javier hummed in agreement, “She crashed on her bed as soon as we got home.” 

You smiled to yourself as you molded your body against the side of his, wanting that skin-to-skin contact wherever you could get it. To hold onto him as tight as you could. 

“Javier?”

“Hmm?” He ran his hand down your back. “What is it, baby?”

“We’re good, right?” You whispered so quietly you weren’t sure if he could even hear you or not. 

Javier pulled you in even closer to him, wrapping both of his arms around you. “Of course we are, baby.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead at your hairline. “You should go back to sleep. Two will get here soon.” 

“Yeah.” You breathed out, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. How were you supposed to sleep, now that you had something new to worry about? 

But even then, those worries felt muted in comparison to everything else. 

[misty-doodles]

I'll never say: Chapter 2

Ship: Tord x tom x matt x edd, Paul x Patryck.

Warning: Triggering content, mild gore

Edd woke with a dazed feeling. His throat burned and his whole body felt heavy. Opening his eyes, he found himself tied to a chair. He was sitting at a table, tom, and matt on either side. 'What's going on? How did I get here?'  Edd thought to himself, looking around the room for a possible exit. The walls and floor were a dark grey color and there was one single iron door.

"What the hell…?" Tom groaned. Edd turned back to the table. Tom looked confused and slightly irritated.

"Tom!" Edd gasped "You're awake!"

"Yeah edd, where are we?" Tom murmured.

"I… I don't know" edd said.

"My face…" matt said suddenly, startling both edd and tom.

"Matt! You scared us" edd said.

"Why is that the first thing you said?" Tom asked in an exasperated tone.

"I don't know! Is my face okay though?" 

"Yeah, its fine" edd shook his head. Suddenly the door opened and a young woman walked in. She had short black hair pulled into a high ponytail, a black hoodie, dark grey high-waisted jeans, and black combat boots. She sat down in the chair across from edd.

"So, you're finally awake. Took ya long enough" she chuckled.

"Who the hell are you?! Why are we here?" Tom spat. 

"Where are we?" Edd added.

"My my, you sure ask a lot of questions. At least one thing about tord is he's rather silent." she smirked, seeming to enjoy provoking the men.

"You- DID YOU HURT HIM?" edd shouted, scaring matt and tom as they'd never seen him so angry. Just being near her made his blood boil.

"So you do care for him. Hmm, I guess it's only fair I answer your questions before I ask my own. My name is tay, and you are currently in the black army's questioning room. I'll get to why you're here in a moment."

"What makes you think we'll answer your questions??" Tom growled.

"Because I know you care for tord," they stiffened, waiting to see what she'd say. "And I know you'd be oh so upset if tord were to, how do I put this, be so injured it'd destroy any life he ever had." She had a dark look on her face.

"We'll answer your dumb questions!" Tom said lowly, eyes flashing purple. Tay didn't miss this but didn't comment. 

"Just please don't hurt tord!" Matt pleaded. 

"Let me ask you this, what is Tord to you all? Answer truthfully." She said in a serious tone.

"He's our…" Edd hesitated. Did he really want to be the reason tord suffered more pain? "He's our boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? All of you?" Tay snorted. Edd felt rage rush through him and an insult was on the tip of his tongue.

"Shut up! Our relationship is perfectly fine!" This time it was Matt who yelled, again startling his lovers. Even tay seemed surprised for a moment, but a sadistic grin suddenly appeared.

"I wouldn't have taken you as an intimidating person, but you seemed to do just fine. I wonder what I could do with you…" she murmured. It seemed like she was talking to herself but due to the nature of the room, everyone heard.

"If you so much as lay a finger on him I swear I'll-" Tom was interrupted by tay.

"QUIET! I wouldn't go around threatening people who have far more control. I have to deal with your 'dearly beloved' later and if you want him back in one piece then its best not to put me in a bad mood." Tom looked like he wanted to object but instead held back. "Good" 

"What do you want from us? From tord?" Edd asked. It took a lot in him not to raise his voice.

"Simple, I want to know the location of the Red Army's bases. With this knowledge, we can purge them and rid the world of their pathetic existence. Tord knows this and we are going to get it. I simply captured you because I know tord care about you. You being here will hopefully be enough. Tord should know by now we aren't holding back."

"You're a monster!" Edd growled.

"So is Tord." Tay stood, smiling evilly. "Now if you excuse me I'll be off. I have someone else I must see. Ta ta!" With that, she was gone. That pink familiar gas filled the air and soon the three of them passed out.

 

 

Tord woke, blinking to clear away the post-sleep blur. He was lying on the cold stone floor. "Good morning princesses." Said a young woman who went by the name of tay. Tord's head shot up and he stared for a moment in fear

"What…?" Tord murmured tiredly.

"I see your friend gave you his hoodie. Must be cozy, it's a shame it won't last long" Tay smirked. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he remembered the blue hoodie that hung off his thin frame.

"He's not my friend!" Tord said. It was a lie, tom was more than just a friend to tord. But tay could never know that.

"So red leader, what do those men mean to you?" Tay asked.

"Nothing. They mean nothing to me." Tord lied. It was for their own good. He shakily sat up, ignoring the pain.

"Oh? Is that so? We asked them and apparently, they're quite close to you" She smirked evilly. When had they talked to them? What did she mean by close? If she knew that meant….

"I… I lied to them, I never cared." Tord said in a dead tone. He may be a good liar, but three against one was hard to match.

"I think that's a lie…" tay said, leaning in closer to the scarred male. Tords eyes widen in surprise and he prayed his face didn't reveal how terrified he was.

"You-"

"I see that look in your eyes, you can lie all you want but your eyes will always tell me the truth." Tay said, giggling maniacally.

"Shut up!" He snapped.

"Tsk, tsk" she clicked her tongue. "When will you learn Larsøn? I'm in control here. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson" A wide smile appeared on her face. She took a step back and disappeared into the darkness, only to return with a shiny metal bat. 

"What are... What are you doing? " tord asked, breath picking up. Tay twirled the bat like one would a baton, a smile ever present on her face. She tossed it up in the air before catching it and holding high above her shoulder.

"Don't worry Larsøn, it'll all be over soon" With that, she brought the bat down on his leg, a sickening crack sounding. Tord screamed out in agony. Tay did it again, and again, blood splattering everywhere. She moved on to his right arm, hitting it again and again until it was almost impossible to tell it had been an arm. 

"Stop! Stop please!" Tord wailed, shaking his head back and forth. Of course she didn't listen, hitting his gut. It wasn't as hard but it was still painful. Toms blue hoodie was splotched with deep reds and purples.

"Black and blue suits you. I feel bad for, tom was it? His hoodie won't last this playtime" She said, dropping the bat with a loud clunk. Tord whimpered softly, tears staining his pale and bloodied skin. He just wanted to go home, curl up in his parent's arms and let them protect him from the world's dangers like the childhood he knew so well. Paul and Patryck were probably worried sick, and despite what he was told Tord knew they were looking far and wide for their son. He was tired, so tired. Tord's eyelids grew heavy.

"Don't fall asleep yet, we still have the main event!" Tay cackled, stabbing tord with a syringe filled with a blue liquid. With a gasp, Tords eyes flew open as a rush of energy pumped through his veins. The only thing that stopped him from moving away from the crazed girl in front of him was the pain the bloomed everywhere on his body. There was a loud thump of heavy boots against the stone floor before a man entered the room. He had brown hair brushed to the side and unique black eyes. He wore an outfit similar to tay's, black baggy shirt, black jeans, and black combat boots.

"T-Tim?" Tord croaked. Tim was Tom's older brother, and tord could never imagine him working here. Tim gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. I really wish things were different…" was all he said, scooping tord up in his arms and walking alongside Tay. So Tim was captured too? How many people's lives were they willing to ruin just to break him? So many people were being put through hell, and it was all his fault. Tord was snapped from his thoughts as he was thrown onto his bed, jostling his arm. He let out a scream of pain and looked up quickly to his torture. Tay had a sadistic grin on her face, In her hand a simple hammer.

Tim grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall, holding him there and stretching out his left arm. Tay grabbed a thick nail a few inches in length and placed the tip to Tords forearm. His eyes widen as realization dawned on him "No, no no no no no nono–" tord's pleas were interrupted by his own violent screams. Tay hammered the nail deep into his flesh, her laughter filling the air along with Tords screams of pain.

Once she was satisfied tords arm was nailed onto the wall, leaving him in pain as he was forced to hold it up so the nail wouldn't rip through his flesh. Tay wasn't done though. No, she was far from it. She grabbed another nail and did it again, this one a few inches away from the first. She did it again and again until there were at least 12 nails holding up his left arm. She did the same thing to his right arm, commenting on his screaming offhandedly. Finally, she was done and got off the bed to take a look at her work. 

"Let's go, we have things to do" she giggled almost psychotically. She tossed the hammer over her shoulder, it bouncing and falling behind the bed. She left the room and it was only then tord realized he was alone. Where were they? What did they do to his boyfriends? Were they hurt? This only made Tord sob harder. He couldn't handle the thought of being the reason the loves of his life died. 

The door to his room opened the three men he didn't recognize entered, carrying the three aforementioned men he'd just been worrying over. They were all placed in their beds and the men left as quickly as they came, sliding a medical box between the wall and Edd's bed. They still looked to be peacefully sleeping but Tord didn't care. If someone didn't get him down this instant he was sure he'd die of pain and blood loss. 

"Help! Help Please please I can't -" Tord gasped, finding it hard to get the words out. His throat felt tight and he could hardly breathe, let alone talk. "I can't take it. Please, it hurts, F-fuck! Im sorry, I'm so sorry please help me. Edd, Tom, Matt!" He screamed out in desperate hope. Thankfully fate seemed to pity him at this moment, as he shouts awoke all three men, and they immediately looked to him 

"Tord! What the hell?" Edd screamed as he jumped up and raced over, tom and matt right by his side. He looked absolutely horrified and at a loss on what to do. His beautiful green eyes were wet with tears

"Tordy!" Matt cried, tears welling up in his crystal blue eyes. He looked around to try and find a solution. The hammer! They didn't know…

"Hammer, its.. its under the bed. Get it, please hurry up!" Tord said, pain and sobs making it difficult to speak. Edd nodded and quickly retrieved the object in question, cringing at the dried blood that caked its surface.

"Don't worry tord! We'll get you… We'll get you down I promise" edd stammered weakly. He looked on the verge of a breakdown but forced himself to remain strong for Tord's sake. He really didn't deserve them in his life. Edd stood on the bed, moving to Tord's left and taking Matt's overcoat to use as leverage. Tord bit his tongue and focused on matt, who was on his knees in front of him and gently holding on to him. It was comforting, and tord took in Matt's scent of strawberries.

"Did that girl do this to you?" Tom asked. Tord nodded, unable to make himself talk. All that left his mouth were wails of agony. He didn't know what hurt more; having nails hammered into his arms or having them pulled out.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright," Matt said softly, running his hand through messy brown hair. He tried to focus on the feeling, his nails scratching his scalp. Even so, he couldn't ignore edd prying out another nail, it fell to the bed and joining the pile of the others. Matt murmured soft words of reassurance and comfort but it did nothing for the bleeding communist.

He hummed an unfamiliar tone, and while Tord may not have known what the ginger was humming he did know he liked it and would have to ask him about it on a later date. He desperately wanted to cling onto him, to hold onto to him like a frightened child would do to their parents. But his arms were unusable and even the thought of moving them had him trembling. With a groan, edd pulled the last nail from his arm, it falling limply to his side. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It hurt. Everything hurt so much he didn't know if he'd survive. People died of shock all the time.

"Shit! He's losing blood, fast!" Edd said. Tord cracked open his only working eyes to see edd panicking. He lifted his head and mustered up what little strength he had left.

"Box... First- first-aid box by…" tord hung his head, sobbing pitifully. He couldn't get the words out, pain numbing every working part of his brain. He could hardly hold himself up anymore but wasn't ready to rip his arm off.

"By? By where? Tord I need you to tell us" edd practically begged. He looked desperate, and he was crying as if he was experiencing tord's pain.

"Edds bed… be- between the wall… Please just get me down…" tords speech slurred. He was losing his will to fight and his eyes drooped dangerously. Edd nodded and rushed over to find it.

"Tord, babe, I need you to stay with us okay? You need to stay awake." Tom had a worried look on his face as he spoke, using a soft voice usually reserved for late-night talks. 'Talk to us, okay? I know it's hard but talk to us" Edd returned with a white box and pulled out a roll of gauze and alcohol. He poured the alcohol over Tord's arm while matt comforted him. He kept him up so the nails wouldn't rip his arm.

"It hurts... It hurts… It feels like it's tearing through my arm. It feels like my arms the only thing holding me up. I can't take it anymore. I… I" Tord sobbed louder, unable to utter another word. He just wanted to die, crawl into a ditch and never leave. Tord wasn't ready to face the world anymore, he was only 24. Barely even an adult. Edd began to apply the bandages.

"Don't think about that honey, try to focus on something else…" Matt soothed. Tord tried to calm his breathing but it was difficult since edd had started on his other arm.

"Remember that time we went on our anniversary date and bought edd a cola with his name on it?" Tom said. It seemed he was trying to stir some good memories.

"Yeah- yeah I remember that. He was so happy I thought he was gonna explode" tord giggled softly, which was followed by a scream as edd pulled out another nail. His voice was horse at this point. 

"I was so happy that day" edd murmured softly. All his focus was going into tord and he seemed a bit hesitant to speak.

"Yeah, tord was blushing like crazy.." Tom said in what appeared to be a teasing manner. Tord had to appreciate him for it.

"Edd's really cute when he's excited" tord bit his lip, more tears streaming down his face and copper filling his mouth from how hard he'd been biting. "Like a... Like a puppy.." His Silver eyes drifted to his arm, watching in horror as edd pried at another nail. The sight of blood and his own bruised and mangled flesh making him feel sick. Tord breathing began to quicken and he wasn't entirely sure why the sight had affected him so badly. All he knew was that he was hyperventilating and his sobs became loud and gut-wrenching.

"Hey, hey look at me." Matt said quickly. "Focus on me and tom okay? Don't look at what Edd's doing."

"Yeah, look at us, it'll all be over soon," Tom said. That was the wrong thing to say as tord shrieked, shaking his head wildly and banging it against the wall several times until matt stopped him, placing his hand behind his head to prevent any damage. Edd and Matt were both shocked and tom was just trying to figure out what he'd done wrong.

"Tom! What did you do?!" Edd cried out.

"I don't know what happened!" Tom said. He had tears in his eyes and a look of guilt was written on his face.

"I'm almost done, just two more" edd groaned. He worked as fast as possible, pulling out the bloody nails a little more roughly than he should have. It didn't matter though because it was his last one.  "Done!" 

Tord collapsed limply into Matt's arms, body trembling as he gasped and cried helplessly. After he removed the now damaged hoodie, Edd quickly rinsed out his wounds and bandaged them. He sat down next to matt. "Shh, shh it's okay now. You're safe now, we're here." Matt mumbled softly. Tord wailed in response, clearly in his own worlds of pain. It was hard to tell what tord was going through but all they knew was it wasn't good. Tom leaned against Matt's shoulder, grabbing Tord's left hand gently and cradling it within his own.

After 10 minutes of calming words and a warm embrace tord finally calmed down. His breathing returned to a normal pace and he snuggled closer to his ridiculously tall boyfriend. His eyes fell upon the now stained and ripped hoodie. "Sorry bout your hoodie tom" tord whimpered tiredly.

"It's fine tord, it's not your fault anyway." Tom said. Edd smiled, removing his own hoodie and offering it to tord. He looked startled at the fabric.

"But I might mess it up.." Tord said. Edd only smiled.

"I don't care, just take it. I don't want you to be cold" edd said sternly. Tord sighed in defeat and allowed edd to put the hoodie over him. It was big on his thin body, but it still provided him with that warmth and safety he couldn't have. The sweet smell of cola enveloped him and he went back to cuddling matt

"There, see? All better…" Matt smiled.

"All better" tord repeated. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open. Fear of worrying his boyfriend overriding his need for sleep.

"It's okay now, go to sleep. We'll be here…" tom said gently, brushing a strand of caramel hair out of tord's face. Tord was really in no place to object, so he simply subcame to the calling of sleep.

_______

3 months ago

"GODDAMNIT!" Patryck screamed, slumping over and tugging roughly on his hair. He failed! He not only failed at his job as Red Leader's right-hand man but as his parent. In just a few moments everything was ripped from him. "H-he's gone… Tord's gone and we may never see him again!" Patryck's voice cracked with emotion. 

"Don't talk like that!" Paul pulled him closer and Patryck could see those Silver eyes wet with tears. "We're going to get our son back. Fuck, our son is going to be fine!"

"He's been kidnapped by the black army, the strongest army to ever exist! Tord is bleeding out and so broken he didn't even put up a fight!" Patryck sobbed loudly, staring aimlessly at the burning pile of rubble. As much as he wanted to believe tord would get out of this the rational part of his brain told him the chances were very low. 

"Patryck!" Golden eyes met grey. Paul looked extremely hurt and Patryck felt bad for making him this upset. "Tord is the strongest person I know, and I KNOW he won't just kick the bucket. S-so we're going back to the base, fixing ourselves, and finding our child" determination burned behind those pretty Silver eyes. Patryck nodded slowly, picking himself off the ground. He had a hand pressed firmly over the bleeding gun wound in his stomach. 

Paul helped him to the car and messily wrapped his abdomen in gauze before jumping in the driver's seat and speeding off. Patryck forced back any tears and put on a stone-cold face. He couldn't afford to show any weakness. "It's going to be okay"

"I know that. I'm going to make sure we find him" Patryck said. He kept his eyes straight forward. Paul spared a worried glance his way. Finally, they arrived at the London base and made their way to the infirmary. The nurse didn't ask any questions, just grabbed a few medical supplies and ushered them over to two available cots. She was quick in bandaging up their wounds.  Once fixed, the two men hurried out.

"Patryck…" Paul mumbled in a slightly worried tone.

"Gather our strongest men, we will start our search tomorrow morning. We shall meet in sector A meeting room in 20 minutes.." Patryck said. His face was blank and his voice was emotionless.

"Of course." Paul sighed. They walked their separate ways.

[hlupdate]

A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.

“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­INGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.

Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”

Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chainand Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”

Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61 mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LAchanged a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”

Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”

Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”

Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.

What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.

“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”

Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”

Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000 scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

[stylesnews]

The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1

A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.

“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­ING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.

Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”

Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chain and Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”

Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6 mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LA changed a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”

Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”

Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”

Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.

What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.

“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”

Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”

Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

[thecorteztwins]

"Hello stranger" (g o d I wanted to write Hewwo Stwanger,,,,,)

I have a pretty strong interest in Silhouette Chord of the New Warriors!

But I’m not really into the New Warriors as a whole, and I feel like I’d have to be to write her, since the majority of my mutuals would likely also be New Warriors for obvious reasons. Also, I’ve yet to get a really distinct personality from her issues yet? Of course as I’m writing that I’m like “well what about this time, that shows she’s such and so, and what about this time, which shows she values this and that…”Anyway. Silhouette has the power to manipulate and teleport through shadow. She was born with her powers, but she’s not a mutant. She and her twin brother, Aaron Chord aka Midnight’s Powers, were among the prophesized offspring of a troupe of a Vietnam soldiers who married and had children with a cult of Cambodian women who were the result of generations of selective breeding within a temple that was built on “Well of All Things” which was a site of raw, primal supernatural energy. This was all orchestrated by Sil’s own grandmother, Tai, the evil leader of the cult, who believed that a union between East and West would produce children capable of harnessing the power of the Well.And indeed, all the kids born between these soldiers and women had super-powers of various types.However, Sil and Aaron grew up knowing none of this. Their father brought his new bride back the United States, who gave birth to the twins there. Fearing that her wicked mother Tai would reach her even here and attempt to use her children, Miyami ran away from her husband, left the children hidden in Chinatown, and faked her own death. The twins grew up as orphans in the mean streets of New York, and became independent vigilantes who worked to take down drug-dealing gangs from within undercover. It was through these activities that they met the superhero Night Thrasher and allied with him. But this alliance ended when a sting went wrong and Silhouette ended up shot in the spine by a police officer, paralyzing her from the waist down. Hence her use of crutches, which she’s become a VERY capable fighter on.Aaron blamed Night Thrasher for what happened to his sister, and ended up becoming a criminal druglord himself in order to get to him. However, this only ended with Silhouette rejecting him as her twin, and joining up with Night Thrasher and the New Warriors as a superhero. It was during her adventures with the New Warriors that she discovered her past, the other children of the “Folding Circle” who had been born from Tai’s cult, and fought Tai herself, while carrying on a romance with Night Thrasher and then later his half-brother Bandit.So, I know her history pretty well, but I need to get a better bead on her personality, and I’m okay reading all her issues for that, but I don’t really want to bother with all the New Warriors stuff? I don’t dislike them, but X-Men and Inhumans are my area of focus and I pretty much stick with them.Still, something about her attracts me as a writer and I keep coming back to her/keeping her in my back pocket. Also, she’s half black, half Cambodia, and disabled, so I feel like she should be more popular just from a representation standpoint? I don’t know of any other Black/Asian heroes or anyone Cambodian AT ALL in Marvel besides her and the other Folding Circle kids. And as it happens I’m interested in learning more about Cambodian people and culture anyway! So yeah.

[parkersharthook]

You Are Loved (Forever and Always)

(Hook!female!reader x OC!male) (Harry Hook x Evie Grimhilde)

Trigger Warnings: suicidal thoughts and actions

7k+ words

When the core four were given the option to leave the Isle and go to Auradon, Evie declined so she could stay with her boyfriend Harry Hook. She was an honorary member of Uma's crew and spent most of her time there. You're a year younger than your older brother Harry, though he's much less mature than you. You began dating another crew member a few months ago, the son of Yzma. You and Zymir were happy together but Harry made Zymir's life a living hell.

"Hey, ye finally dain?" I asked as I walked up to my boyfriend who was working on tying together some rope. He tightened the rope with a hard yank and set it back on the deck.

"Yep, just finished." He brushed his hands on his pants and stood up, now much taller than me. He put his arm around my shoulders and we began to walk off the main deck. Suddenly Zymir was pulled backwards by the collar of his shirt. He stumbled back and quickly regained his composure to come face to face with the first mate, Harry. My older brother.

"whaur dae ye hink yer gonnae?" Harry asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

Zymir tripped over his words, obviously intimidated by the older man. "We were jus goin to walk round the market." I stood behind my boyfriend glaring at my brother.

"nae yer nae." Harry smirked. I rolled my eyes at him and stepped forward to face him one on one.

"Harry lae heem aloyn. He did aw th' stupid busy work ye awreddy assigned fur heem." I argued while tapping my foot on the deck, irritated with Harry.

"noo Uma needs a fill in at th' shop an' guess who's gonna dae it?" He peered around my head to stare at Zymir.

I groaned loudly, "whit cannae ye do it Har? We hae a date." His eyes flickered to mine for a second before going back to Zymir's.

His eyes narrowed causing my boyfriend to gulp, "mair ay a reason fur heem tae dae it 'en, huh? Noo scat." Harry shooed Zymir away and I watched him scurry off the deck and towards the nearby restaurant. I whipped around to face Harry who stood there looking as smug as ever.

"Whit th' heel Harry?" I barked in his face causing him to frown at me.

"Ye shoodnae be wi' heem y/n. He's bad news!"

I scoffed, "Ay coorse he's bad news, he's a pirate! sae ur ye an' sae am ah!" Harry just shook his head at me and turned to walk away. But I noticed his calculated movements towards the barrel of swords.

"Anyways y/n/n ye shoods be trainin'." In a mere second he had grabbed a sword by its hilt, spun around, and tossed the sword to me. I didn't even blink as I it by its handle.

"ah awreddy trained fur hoors!" I whined.

Harry's smirk only grew, "'En ye shoods be prepared fur anythin'... loch thes." He grabbed at his own sword and was instantly in a fighting stance. I rolled my eyes once again at my dramatic brother and moved to walk away but his sword stopped me.

"Harry." I warned as I glanced to him annoyed. I once again moved to walk around him but just like before his sword came slicing in front of me, stopping my movements. I growled, "Harry..."

He snickered, "whit y/n? Somethin' wrang?" He loved teasing me, this was obvious. I inhaled a sharp breath and closed my eyes for a moment before trying to walk away one more time.

This time when the sword stopped my movements, my sword was instantly against his. I jumped into my fighting stance as well and suddenly we were off. He didn't hold back as his sharp blade swiped in all directions. For the most part I was on the defensive side as I blocked each attack and tried to break his footing. I was a good sword fighter but my brother was arguably better. I jumped onto the stairs behind me and was suddenly hunched over fighting downwards as my brother leaned up. You'd think I'd get the upper hand in this position but somehow my brother was in front of me, still matching my hits. He backed me up so I was pressed against the railing that overlooked the main deck.

He used his prize hook and sword to press my back further into the railing before he could grab the hilt from my hand and toss my sword to the deck below. I watched the blade fall and then angrily narrowed my eyes at my brother.

"Ye need tae be prepared y/n/n." He taunted, pointing the tip towards my neck. I noticed his unarmed positioning and quickly spun, bringing my heel up so it connected with his cheek. I heard the grunt come from him as he stumbled backwards. I didn't waste any time climbing onto the railing and jumping to grab a nearby rope to swing to the deck and pick up my own sword. I looked up to meet my brother's fiery gaze. He was mad. He jumped down from the upper deck and instantly attacked me again. His swings were stronger and more ferocious. But with my new sense of confidence I easily sparred with him. I even got a few good jabs and managed to land a small cut on his upper arm, though that was by accident.

I ducked out of the way of a high blow and then jumped at a low one so I stepped on his sword. He wiggled it slightly but my heavy boot kept it against the wood. I pointed my sword at him and smirked. I imitated him obnoxiously, "Ye need tae be prepared Har." He growled and swiped my legs out from under me causing me to fall onto my butt. He grabbed his sword and moved to pin me down but I rolled away. I sprung to my feet and blew the loose strands of hair out from my face. We began to circle each other and unsurprisingly Harry was the first to strike again. He lunged surprisingly low and caught a bit of my shirt, successfully ripping it and cutting me on my stomach. I hissed in pain but didn't stop as I quickly counter attacked. I noticed the regret in his eyes at hurting me but hey, that comes with the job.

We continued to fight for a good minute before Harry was suddenly yanked backwards just as he did to Zymir before. I slowed my movements to a stop as I breathed heavily. There stood Evie who let go of Harry's wrinkled collar to glare at us.

"You guys are ridiculous. Look at you! Harry, your lip is busted and your arm is cut. Y/n, your leg is bruised and your side is sliced. It's like you guys don't know where your pirate lives end and your sibling lives pick up."

I just shrugged and moved next to Harry, "Eve, ah appreciate yer concern but aam fine. An' sae is Harry." I punched his wounded arm causing him to hiss in pain.

He glared towards me with a grimace. "Yeah lass. An' Y/n haur is fine tay." He shoved me slightly causing the skin on my ribcage to stretch. I groaned and shot him a look.

"Try me Harry, ah daur ye." I growled

"ah thooght ah jist did... an' won." He bit back.

Evie just groaned loudly and rubbed her temples, "Stop it! You guys are both bleeding and are in pain. Why can't you just stop with the competition and help each other."

"ah dinnae need help." We both said in unison causing Evie to chuckle lightly.

"Let's go to the nursing cabin and I'll stitch you guys up." We both reluctantly followed her as she led the way through the ship down to the bottom and to the nursing cabin. The infirmary type room wasn't much, just a small room with rags, a sink, and a hard wooden table.

Inside, Uma was crouched down rummaging through one of the crates in the corner. Evie knocked slightly so she wouldn't scare the pirate captain and led us into the room. Uma glanced over at us and shook her head with a laugh. "You too again?"

It was true, me and Harry often got into little fights like this one and one of us always ended up bleeding. I rolled my eyes at my friend and sat down in one of the chairs in the corner. Harry took his seat on the table and Evie went to get the sewing kit from a small basket.

Uma began to walk out with a rag in her hand. She paused to talk to me directly, "I'm leaving because I don't want to see those two like that." I groaned and knew exactly what she meant.

"Tak' me wi' ye?" I pleaded but Uma just laughed and walked out the door. I glanced back over to my brother and Evie and inwardly groaned. Harry sat slighted askewed so Evie could look at his arm. She was situated between his knees as she carefully pressed a wet cloth around the wound. Harry's other hand was lazily stroking her outer thigh as he watched her hands in fascination. But I couldn't even be mad because they were a cute couple and my brother was happy and so was my friend, so it was fine. I just sucked it up and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall until it was my turn.

"Well lucky for you Harry, you don't need stitches." Evie pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger causing him to look at her, "This time."

"Cheers loove." He quickly pecked her lips and went to walk away but Evie just placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"You still need bandages." Evie began to wrap a long strip of gauze around his arm tightly before securing it with a tight knot. She gave him one more kiss before shooing him off the table. "Okay Y/n your turn." I lazily opened my eyes and began to stand up, "That's a lot of blood."

I glanced down to my side to notice the growing red stain on my shirt. I just shrugged it off as I took a step forward, suddenly feeling extremely dizzy. I reached out to steady myself on the wall but felt Harry grab ahold of my arm instead. I blinked harshly a few times before pushing off of me and sitting down on the table.

Evie looked at me worriedly, "lay down on your back so I can look at this." I slowly leaned down on the table and draped an arm across my eyes. Evie lifted my shirt so it was bunch beneath my breasts and began wiping around the blood around the surprisingly deep cut. I convulsed in pain when she made contact with the puckered skin around the wound. "Sorry y/n/n. This is deeper than I originally thought. Harry, can you wash this rag and hand me a fresh wet one."

"dinnae waste th' rags." I groaned knowing our supplies was dwindling as winter came along.

"I'm not wasting them y/n. You're bleeding and I need to fix this." Harry handed her the rag and she began holding the pressure against my stomach.

I removed my arm from my face and blinked my eyes open slowly. I saw Harry at the edge of the table looking at me worriedly, slightly chewing on his thumbnail.

"aam fine." I groaned impatiently. This was a serious problem of mine, not letting myself be taken care of. I didn't want any attention on me and I certainly didn't want others to not have bandages because of me.

"jist haud yer weesht an' listen tae 'er." Harry quipped earning him a quick slap to the arm from Evie.

She turned to me, "But he's right. Just shut up and listen to me." I watched as she thread the needle and ran it under the sink a few times to sterilize it the best she could. Suddenly the door opened and in walked Zymir. I noticed Harry visibly tense. "It's good that you're here. I need you two to hold her steady while I start."

I whined again, "aam fine!"

"Y/n... this is going to hurt a lot and if you don't want me to miss then just let them keep you steady. Plus, if you don't move then you proved me wrong." I reluctantly nodded with a grunt and dropped my head back onto the table. Zymir moved to my head and placed his hands on my shoulders while Harry held my ankles. I felt them both push down on my body so I couldn't move. "Bite this." Evie said as she pulled the edge of my shirt up to my mouth. I opened it and let her place the dirty piece of cloth between my teeth. She let out a breath, "You ready? On three. One, two..." And before Evie could get to three the needle pierced my skin. I grunted in pain but stayed relatively still. I felt the string move along my skin. In and out, in and out, in and out. The repetitive motion was a weird sensation that I never quite got used to, especially on the sensitive skin of my stomach. I clenched down hard on the cloth and whimpered ever so slightly when she came to the end and tied the string into a knot. She placed some tape over the long cut to seal it and signaled to the boys to let go of me. I instantly shook out my limbs, trying to get the blood moving. Evie's eyebrow quirked up, "You okay?"

I flashed her a smile, "ay coorse."

Evie nodded hesitantly, "okay try to keep your movement minimal and reduce the amount of contact you have with it. Let it breathe."

I nodded at her words, "Noo if yoo'll excuse me aam gonnae mah room." I stood up and instantly felt Zymir steady me before I even had the chance to stumble. I mumbled my thanks and let him help me out the door though I could hear Harry fuming behind me.

As the door closed I heard the harsh whisper of Harry's voice, "ah hate 'em together."

Evie sighed, "Just let her be." Tears stung at the corners of my eyes at my brother's constant disapproval of my boyfriend. The one that I loved and trusted. He opened the door to his shared cabin with Gil, though Gil rarely stayed there, and led me to his bed. He sat down and carefully pulled me onto his lap.

"Your brother doesn't like me." Zymir huffed as he dropped his chin onto my shoulder.

I snorted, "Yeah, nae kiddin." He looked at me pleadingly, "But he eosnae loch mony fowk. In fact, ah dinnae hink he likes anyain."

Zymir shook his head lightly, "No. He likes you, Uma, Gil... Evie obviously. He likes most of the crew and even your dad. I'm the only one he doesn't like."

I cupped his head slightly and gave him a kiss, "He's jist protectife ay me."

Zymir sighed, "Yeah but it's weird because he acts all protective and then slices your stomach."

I frowned, "He dinnae mean tay. He was jist tryin' tae train wi' me."

"I saw some of the 'training' and it didn't look like training. It looked more like actual fighting. He doesn't even go that hard with the crew members that need it."

I shook my head, trying to convince myself that he loved me. "He jist wants me tae be able tae defend myself."

"But he knows you can. I've heard him say it myself." Zymir moved me off his lap and ran his hand through his hair, "But I don't know. Your relationship is weird so what am I to say." He crawled further onto the bed, "come cuddle. I'm sure you're tired." I just nodded blankly, not really listening to what he was saying. My mind was too focused on my brother and what his feelings toward me really were. I mean I know he loves me... right? I mean I saw the worry and guilt in his eyes when Evie was helping me but he also didn't sound too upset. I absentmindedly crawled under Zymir's quilt and leaned my head on his chest. I felt his arms carefully pull me closer as he nuzzled into my hair.

I felt his even breathing against my ear and cautiously peaked up to see his eyes closed and mouth slightly gaping, he was out. I smiled at the boy and waited a minute longer before carefully detangling myself from his arms. I slid out from under his covers and left his room silently. I ducked into my room and switched my bloody shirt for a loose top that stopped just above my belly button. I threw my shirt into the sink deciding to deal with it later as I made my way out of my cabin and up onto the main deck. There were few crew members about but none of them questioned me as I waltzed off the ship.

I was hesitant in my steps, nervous about where I wanted my destination to be. I walked for a few miles before hunger began to prick at my stomach. I snagged an apple off of a vendor's cart and munched on it happily as I made my way to the complete other side of the Isle. On that side was my father's old worn down ship and his straggly crew. They were all wrinkled and weathered at this point in their life and did nothing more than sit around the ship playing cards and drinking ale.

When Harry lost the ship my father gave him to Uma in a bet our father banished him to the other side of the isle, not wanting to deal with his idiocrasy. I was torn between my brother and father for a few years. However when I visited my brother with a black eye I had gotten from my father one day he quickly swept me up and instantly found me a high ranking position in Uma's crew.

I smiled at the memory of him but my smile faded as I came to the splintered docks. I still saw my father occasionally and although I don't think I love him I figured he deserved to see me a least a few times. I walked onto the ship and walked up to a crowd of large bellied men playing cards around a barrel.

"Y/n!" Smee cheered happily. I smiled back, always enjoying the quirky man. "We haven't seen you in a while."

I laughed humorlessly, "yuh... I've bin busy."

He nodded in understanding and cocked his head towards the cabins, "your father's in his suite."

"thenk ye." I excused myself politely and walked to his quarters. I inhaled a sharp breath before knocking on the door.

"Yes?"

I closed my eyes and spoke shakily, "hey dad... its Y/n."

I waited for his response and let out a breath of relief when he replied, "Come en in."

I opened the door and saw my father drinking some tea at his large desk, glasses perched on his nose as he read a book. His smile grew at the sight of me and I smiled back. I loved my father, I did. "awrite dad."

"Awrite y/n. whit brings ye haur the-day?"

I shrugged as I took a seat in front of his desk, "jist wanted tae say hi. Catch up a wee bit."

He nodded as he sipped his tea and closed his book. His eyes found the gauze at my stomach and his eyebrow quirked up slightly, "diz it hae tae dae wi' 'at?" He gestured to the cut with his hook. The hook that was weathered and tarnished, but still as threatening as ever.

I shook my head, "Nae. 'At was jist an incident frae trainin'. Me an' Harry waur—"

"Ahhh och ye an' Harry." I bit my lip at his sharp tone, "Ye tois waur aye quite th' fighters. E'en as yoong bairns."

I nodded tightly, "Yeah but ah was actually hopin' tae—"

"Ye troaps aye argued ower th' most trivial things but he typically won." I found my fists clenching at his words, "He woods push ye tae th' grin an' pin ye thaur until ye admitted defeat." He let out a short laugh, "ah aye thooght 'at he woods be a guid pirate. Seein' as th' way he handled himself at such a yoong age. He aye hud 'at dominatin' quality."

My teeth were clenched as I spoke, not that I expected my father to notice that. "ye aye believed in Harry didnae ye?"

He nodded, twirling his greying mustache between his fingers. "ah did. That's wa ah gae th' Revenger tae heem. ah was hopeful 'at he woods be a stoatin keptin jist loch his faither. His fire, his insanity. He hud aw th' guid qualities, naethin' loch ye as a bairn. Ye waur much mair reserved."

"aam th' navigatur fur uir crew." I defended myself lightly.

"That's guid, ah suppose. But ye micht want tae sharpen yer sword fightin' skills." He gestured to my cut again, "Somethin' loch 'at can end a barnie real quick. sae anyways back tae yer brither... hoo is he daein?"

I shrugged and picked at my nails, "he's guid."

"Still datin' 'at Evie lassie?" I nodded again and frowned at the disapproving click of his tongue, "He coods dae sae much better. Ah mean wi' his genes he coods gie onie lassie oan th' isle! Heck, he coods gie onie lassie in Auradon." His laugh filled my ears and I wanted to cringe. "Whit abit ye?"

I looked up shocked, not expecting for him to ask that. "Me? Nae, aam nae datin' anyain." I knew that telling him I was dating Zymir would just cause turmoil for our relationship and possible danger for Zymir.

"That's okay. yoo'll fin someain. Jist make sure ye ken hoo tae sweep an' sew." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Men loch 'at. A submissife hen. yoo'll ne'er gie a man wi' hoo ye act reit noo."

"Ye dinnae want me tae be a pirate?"

"ah mean ah guess ye coods but it's tay late tae start tryin' tae be one now. It's jist a wee tay late tae jump ontae th' ship but ah guess ye coods try. Jist make sure ye ken those other skills weel... jist in case."

I nodded angrily and stood up, "ah jist remembered ah hae tae go."

He frowned slightly but quickly readjusted his face to the indifference I saw before. He picked up his book and began to read again. "Okay, it was nice tae see ye."

I left the room without another word and bounded through my father's ship, quickly making it to the street. I fumed as I jogged through the markets and returning to Uma's ship. I quickly found Harry perched at the steps talking to a few crew mates and I grabbed a sword from a nearby barrel.

"Harry!" His head turned towards me, "Let's go. Ye an' me."

He laughed, "Y/n we awreddy trained the-day. Plus, we aw saw hoo weel 'at went lest time. Ye need tae rest." I looked around at the crew members that stood around us.

I smirked at him, "scared ay yer yoonger sister ur ye?" I saw him frown and saunter into a standing position. He just shrugged and smiled at me.

"If ye wish, dear sister." I didn't give him a chance to be prepared. Once he unsheathed his sword, I immediately bombarding him with ferocious attacks. I swung violently and saw him struggle to stay on the defensive side. The crew gathered around the outskirts of the ship, watching the fierce battle between brother and sister. We continued to fight for a few minutes before Uma appeared between us. She had a sword in each hand, one pointed at me and one pointed at Harry.

"Stop!" Her loud voice silenced everyone as my chest heaved up and down with my ragged breaths. She turned to Harry, "My quarters now!" She whipped around as he began to sulk away, "Take a walk. I'll talk to you later." I huffed as I threw my sword to the ground and stomped off the boat and down the beach. I felt the tears sting my ears and drip down my cheeks as I kicked through the sand. There was a large boulder off in the distance and I continued until I got to it. I sat down on the rock, my tears still falling from my eyes.

"Y/n?" I wiped my eyes quickly as I heard my boyfriend's voice carry through the air. He stopped in front of me and dropped to his knees. He gripped my wrists in his hands and pulled them from my face so I would look him in the eyes. "What's going through your head?"

I huffed and slouched heavily, "Ah dinnae ken."

He let go of my wrists and rested his hands on my knees. I felt his thumbs rub comforting circles on my skin, "Why don't we start at the beginning?" I just nodded, "this morning."

I felt my anger rising, "Harry interrupted uir date an' made yer wark in th' chip shop. We huvnae hud a date in months coz ay heem."

Zymir nodded, "Yes he did. Then he wanted you to train some more and you guys began to spar. How'd that go?"

"Ye saw hoo 'at went." I huffed, "he kept pushin' me an' pushin' me an' literally chibbed me."

"He didn't mean too." Zymir defended lightly.

"'En ah went tae see mah dad efter ye fell asleep an'–"

"Wait, you went to see your dad?" Zymir's face was covered in worry but I paid no attention to that.

"Yeah but that nae th' point. Mah dad coodnae haud yer weesht abit Harry—"

"Y/n." He said harshly causing me to snap out of my trance, "You went to see your dad? Alone?"

"Yeah but naethin' happened."

"But it could've." He quipped back easily. "You could've gotten seriously hurt. You promised me you wouldn't see him alone. And you had just gotten stitches."

I rolled my eyes, "Zymir... naethin' happened."

"Yeah but it could've." He surprised me as he stood up roughly. He pushed off my legs to pace through the sand. He ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Y/n. I cannot believe you did that."

I heard him getting angrier which caused me to get defensive, "Ye act loch ah cannae handle muhself. Naethin' happened. Aam nae a bairn. Ah can protect myself."

"Even against your father?! You love him, and that's the problem. You'd let him do anything just because of the fact that he's your father."

The tears pricked at my eyes again, "Ah dinnae need tae gie mah choices approved by ye ur anyain else."

"I just don't get why you even went there."

"Coz mebbe ah wanted tae talk tae heem. Ye said it yerself, ah loove heem. He's mah faither. Ah deserve tae be able tae talk tae mah faither freely withit havin' ye ur Harry puppy guard me."

"You don't think about your actions y/n! Everything you do is for yourself!" Zymir yelled. I knew he was just worried about me but the words stung. I refused to let me see that his words actually hurt me. I just stood up and looked at him square in the eye.

"Ye can go fuck yerself Zymir." My tone was calm which probably scared him the most as I turned to walk back down the beach. He called after me but I didn't turn around and he knew to not push me any further. I made it to the market and saw Harry sitting on the edge of the dock. He noticed me walking and stood up to approach me but I just quickened my pace and brushed past him. I quickly molded into the crowded streets and ducked into a nearby building so he couldn't follow me. This was my favorite building on the isle due to its perfect position on the edge of the dock. It was old and worn down but a safe spot for me to think. I expertly climbed the stairs and walked through the familiar house. I stepped out of the window onto the rickety fire escape and scurried to the roof. I breathed in the salty air and exhaled shakily, feeling the tears come again. I sat down on the edge of the building and gazed down at the water below me.

Like I said, this building was directly on the docks and there was only about two feet of dock between the building and the water. I thought of jumping, not to kill myself but to feel the thrill of diving from such a high place. It would be dangerous, if I landed wrong I could easily hurt myself or die. The water was probably freezing as well due to the changing seasons.

I kicked my legs some more, my heels hitting the wall of the building. I thought about what Zymir had said. I whispered to myself, "Everythin' ye dae is fur yerself." Maybe he's right. I mean, I did break my promise to both Zymir and Harry and Uma by going to talk to my father alone. Harry. I didn't want to think about my brother right now but I couldn't help it, he consumed my thoughts.

The fact that he was allowed to be in a loving relationship but I wasn't. The fact that he could go out on dates but I couldn't. The fact that he could kiss Evie in front of everyone but god forbid Zymir even put his arm around me. Harry didn't love me. If he did he would want me to be happy, why couldn't he just see that Zymir made me happy.

And don't even get me started on how everyone loved Harry, especially my father. Oh, Harry would be the true pirate in the family and he could barely even read a map. It bothered me that my father couldn't see my worth, but then again maybe there wasn't much worth to see.

How could he be proud of me when my own brother didn't love me and my boyfriend thought I was completely selfish? The tears flowed out of my eyes as the painful realization dawned on me.

I heard commotion down below and peered over to see our ship lit up. Zymir stood on the deck frantically talking to Uma, Harry, and Evie. His arms were waving all over the place and he paced around the deck worriedly. I knew he was talking about me. The sun was setting and I had yet to return to the ship. I continued to watch secretly and saw that Harry was the next to speak up. He pointed all over the isle before throwing his hands up in frustration. I scowled as Evie put a soothing hand on his back.

I let out a huff as I watched them disperse. Zymir went up to the head of the ship to glance around the Isle while Uma and Evie went down the shoreline and Harry strolled down the street. I broke my gaze away from everyone else and focused on my boyfriend down below. He paced throughout the entire ship before sitting down on a barrel near the mast. He bit his thumb and closed his eyes. I could barely see the tears fall down his face.

I don't know how long I had been watching Zymir before the others came back all with a defeated look on his face. Harry shrugged, causing my blood to boil. I stood up and contemplatively looked at the water below me one more time.

"If aam gonnae be stuck in a place whaur a' fowk hates me, micht an aw hae some fin." I watched the sun finally dip beyond the horizon and waited for them to leave the deck. I backed up a few spaces and let out a shaky breath before running towards the edge of the building and launching myself off. I held in my squeal of glee as I felt the wind rush by me. I held my breath as I hit the still water.

It hurt more than expected, despite my perfect entry form. My head pounded and I felt the water rip at my stitches. The iciness instantly burned my fingers and toes and the cut on my stomach made it hard to move my arms. I struggled to break the surface, sinking faster than I could swim. I could feel my lungs giving out and my vision was beginning to cloud. I didn't mean for it to go this way but would it be so bad for it to end? Would they really miss me? Would anyone really miss me?

The questions seemed to make my body heavier as I stopped the fight and let out my breath. Before I could fade away completely though something hit the water next to me and suddenly there were strong arms carrying me to the surface. We broke the surface in a quick moment and I gasped heavily. The person who saved me hoisted me onto the dock before pulling themselves up. I was scared to look at them, worried it was my brother. But as Harry's boots appeared next to me, my eyes shifted to see a panting Zymir with worry all over his face.

He quickly pulled me into a hug and I felt him relax slightly now that he could feel I was safe. I shivered slightly and he pulled away to hand me his discarded jacket that was dry. I awkwardly shrugged in on before taking his hand to stand up. I cautiously turned to face my brother who stood in front of Evie and Uma.

"Whit waur ye thinkin'?" He yelled at me, getting dangerously close to my face. "gonnae swimmin' at nicht when th' seasons ur changin? Did ye want tae die?"

I almost nodded, almost. But I kept my head held high as I brushed past him. I discarded the worried looks from the girls and walked onto the ship. I thought I had escaped when someone grabbed my wrist and spun me around. I came face to face with Zymir.

"Why did you jump?" Zymir spoke softly, as if he thought he would scare me away.

"Jump!?" Harry questioned loudly, "Ye jumped? Frae whaur?" Zymir didn't turn around as he pointed to the building. "Y/n! Hoo coods ye dae—"

Zymir whipped around in a flash to face Harry, "Harry, stop! You've done enough, let me handle this." I was surprised to see Zymir stand up to my brother. Harry tried to lunge for the boy but both Evie and Uma quickly pulled him back. Z turned back to me. "Why'd you jump?"

"Ah didnae jump. Ah was pushed." It wasn't a total lie. Something within me had pushed me to the edge. But he didn't need to know that, he could think it was one of the many enemies we had made.

"You were five feet from the dock, no way a push could get you that far." He pointed out.

"Efter ah was pushed, ah hud tae push myself aff th' roof sae ah wooldnae hit th' dock."

"Who was it?" His voice was low but his tone dangerous, revengeful.

"Ah dinnae ken." That was the truth. What had caused me to take the step, I had no clue.

He closed his eyes and ran a hand over them, "Now is not the time to lie to me." He reached a hand out to me but I stepped back from him. He retracted his hand as if I just burned him. Uma quickly stepped forward and sheltered me from the judgmental eyes.

"Why don't we go to my quarters?" She placed a gently on my hand to coax me off the deck. She turned her head to face Evie, "make sure both of these boys go to bed and then come see us."

I could faintly hear Evie begin to chastise the two boys which almost brought a smile to my face. I quickly found myself in Uma's quarters. She closed the door and turned to me. "Don't fucking lie to me y/n."

Her sudden change in attitude shocked me. I stuttered slightly, "whit ur ye talkin' abit?"

"No bullshit. I was watching you. I saw you on the edge of that roof. I saw you run and jump... willingly." I felt tears sting at my eyes. I didn't know how I would explain this to anyone, let alone my captain. "Now do you want to explain to me what really happened?"

I wanted to shake my head but I knew she would keep pressing til I talked to her. I decided to start off easy, "ah saw mah dad."

She groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "We've talked about this y/n."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah ah cannae go anywhaur withit ye, Harry, or Zymir guardin' me. Aam a strang bodie, ah can handle myself!"

"You really going to play that card after what I saw tonight?" She rose an eyebrow at me, "Did he hurt you?"

I huffed and crossed my arms, taking a seat in the rugged couch off to the side. "Nae he didnae hurt me, h-he loves me ye ken." My voice wavered as I spoke the second part and I could barely convince myself.

Uma sighed, "What did he say?"

I waved it off, "Naethin' important."

"So if it's nothing that your dad said then what made you jump?"

"Aam nae suicidal." I retorted quickly which caused Uma to look at me in disbelief.

"You're telling me that you jumped off the highest building on the isle for fun?"

I grimaced at the sound of it, "Weel..."

She was getting angry, "Then why did you not swim to the top? Then why did you lie to Zymir? Then why are you lying to me right now? What made you give up?!" Her eyes were filling with tears as her voice got louder.

I began to panic. My brain was being clouded with emotions and feelings. The room started to swirl. I had to get out here. I couldn't stay. I can't stay anywhere. I need to go. I need to run. Keep moving, don't stop. Where to go? Nowhere to go. Have to go. Can't stay. Gotta leave. Keep moving. I need to keep moving. Why aren't I going anywhere? I'm trapped. My brain doesn't work, my feet don't work. I need to leave. I can't stay. Push past them. Leave. They don't love me. Leave. No one wants me here. Leave. I need to leave.

I felt gentle hands on my back and another pair pull me into a hug as two separate voices tried to calm me down, "just breathe y/n. Just breathe. In and out. In and out." I listened to Evie's instructions and slowly my breathing began to slow down and level out. "That's it. Keep going. In and out, in and out."

I felt my head clear and finally found myself in Evie's arms with Uma looking on worried. I wiped my eyes and distanced myself from them, embarrassed. Despite me wiping my tears I continued to cry, "Aam sorry." My words came out in choked sobs, "Ah cannae dae thes anymair." I collapsed back onto the couch and dropped my face into my hands.

Evie sat next to me, "just let it out. We can't help you if you don't talk to us."

I took a slow breathe but the tears continued to stream down my cheeks, "Wa am ah sae unlovable?"

Uma's jaw slackened as she and Evie shared worried glances, "Y/n..."

"Mah ain family doesnae love me." I sobbed again.

"Hey!" Evie's fingers lifted my chin so I looked at her, "Your brother loves you so much. And although your father may not show it properly he loves you to. I promise."

I shook my head and stood up, beginning to pace around the room. "Nae they dinnae. Harry doesnae hink ah can dae anythin' reit an' he treats me loch crap. He doesnae want me tae be happy, he wants me tae suffer. He ne'er lets me dae anythin' 'at makes me happy, that's nae whit a brither diz!"

"He's just protective. He doesn't want you dating Zymir because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Y/n I swear he loves you." Uma explained gently, "Everything he does for you is out of love. Although his actions may seem harsh, he doesn't mean to cause you any harm."

"Yeah... all that time training probably caused him to lose a few too many brain cells." It was a lame joke but it caused me to chuckle slightly.

"What did your dad say?" Uma asked again.

"He didnae haud yer weesht abit Harry. It didnae matter whit ah tauld heem, it's jist Harry thes an' Harry 'at. ah was ne'er meant tae be a pirate an' he made it damn clear 'at ah willnae amoont tae anythin'. Ah shoods jist fin' a man fa will dae everythin' fur me because apparently that's whit men want. He didne caur 'at ah reid maps an' helped navigate. He jist wanted me tae learn hoo tae sweep an' sew."

Evie groaned, "Your dad has no idea what he's talking about. Take it from someone whose mother tried to teach me the same things. It's better to be a smart and powerful girl. Your dad is an idiot and I can promise you that Zymir loves how strong you are."

"Nah he doesnae. He doesnae loove me either."

Uma snorted, "Are you kidding? He's head over heels for you. What made you say that?"

"ye dinnae hink abit anyain but yerself" I repeated his words softly.

"He said that to you?" Uma's eyes narrowed. I nodded, "I'll be right back." Her words were harsh as she stormed out of the room before either me or Evie could stop her.

"She's gonna kill heem, isnae she?"

"Probably Harry too." Evie lightly chuckled.

I shook my head, "ah shoold've ne'er tauld ye guys."

"I'm glad you did. But I have a feeling this has been going on for a while. You're not one to jump to conclusions, literally and figuratively."

I nodded my head and looked at my fidgeting fingers, "Nae. I've bin dealin' wi' it fur a while."

"Come talk to me next time okay? I'm here for you. Me and Uma and Gil and the rest of the crew... we're your family too. And you're stuck with us whether you like it or not."

I smiled, "Thanks Evie. Can ah ask ye a question?" She nodded, "Hoo did ye ken whit tae dae when ah hud a panic attack?"

Evie frowned and then leveled me a sympathetic smile, "Carlos used to suffer from panic attacks all the time when he was still here. Me and Jay were the only ones that could calm him down."

I saw the sadness in her eyes, "Dae ye miss them?"

She nodded, "I do. They were my friends. But I'm happy I'm here. I love Harry and I love this crew. I just hope that we will all get off this Isle soon enough." She pulled me in for another hug as we moved out of the room.

"Thenk ye Evie."

"Anytime." She responded without missing a beat. We heard the yells of Uma from down the hallway and had to keep our laughter at bay. Those poor boys were probably close to pissing their pants. "Why don't we get you stitched up again?"

I completely forgot about my reopened wound and after acknowledging it I felt the pain hit me again, "that'd probably be a guid idea."

She walked with me to the infirmary and quickly stitched me up before escorting me to my bedroom. We talked for a little longer before Harry stopped by. He barely looked at me, obviously ashamed about whatever Uma said to him. He just gave a quick sorry and went on his way.

"I should probably go with him." Evie said and I nodded with a small chuckle, "Hey y/n? Please don't give up again, I swear you're worth it." She almost made tears come to my eyes again. We hugged before she was on her way and I decided to finally put on some warmer clothes. I quickly changed and pulled my wild hair into a bun when I heard a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Zymir's voice was soft, almost scared.

"Yeah come en in." I said, turning to face the door as it slowly creaked open. He stepped inside and softly shut the door behind him. I saw his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks and realized just how much I hurt him.

"I'm sorry."

I quickly jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly, "Nae. Aam sorry. ah was bein' irrational."

He shook his head as he hugged me back just as tight, "No. I should've never said that to you and I'm sorry for ever making you feel bad. I promise I'll be better."

"Me tay." I responded earnestly. I was ready to change for the better.

"I love you." My heart soared at the words that had yet to be uttered by him, "Y/n. I love you so much and I don't know what I would've done if I lost you."

"Ah loove ye tay Zymir an' ah promise 'at ah will ne'er dae 'at again."

"Good because now you're stuck with me."

"Ah wooldnae want it onie other way." I pulled back and kissed him lovingly. I am loved.

[madstars-festival]

DON’T MISS AD STARS’ FREE ONLINE FESTIVAL ON AUGUST 25-27

We have lined up an inspiring line up of leading-edge speakers for the AD STARS 2021 Online Festival, which runs from August 25 to 27 and is free to attend. We hope you can join us! 

Featuring some of the world’s most renowned agencies and marketers, the program also features visionary innovators from Universal Everything, Neolix, Ispace Inc, DesignedByUs.org and more.

“We are immensely proud of this year’s program, which is inspired by the theme ‘Shift’. To succeed, today’s marketers and creators will need to radically shift how they think and learn new skills along the way. To help you on this journey, we have invited a wide range of experts to present at AD STARS 2021,” explains Hwanjin Choi, Chair of AD STARS.

“You’ll learn about space marketing, the metaverse, the future of virtual humans and new marketing techniques. You will learn how to connect with post-COVID consumers, how to create digital experiences that are alive, empathetic and joyful, and how to help your clients do business in a more responsible, sustainable way.”  

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS

Joanna Peña-Bickley, Head of Research & Design at Alexa Devices at Amazon / CEO & Design Fellow at DesignedByUs.org: “Creativity 2030 – AI Powered Culture of Creativity” (August 25th, 11:00 – 11:30am KST) This session will explore the fundamental shift from services performed by humans to algorithms empowering individual creators and makers. “I share this not to scare you that the robots are coming for your jobs – I share this because we are at an inflection point where we the creators can work smarter and offer even more creativity to help our communities, companies and planet with the assistance of AI using Cognitive Experience Design.”

Raja Rajamannar, Chief Marketing & Communications Officer at Mastercard: “Quantum Marketing: Classical Rules No Longer Apply” (August 26, 11:00am – 11:25am KST) In this ground-breaking presentation, CMO of Mastercard and author of Wall Street Journal Best-Seller ‘Quantum Marketing’, Raja Rajamannar will unveil new rules and thinking to drive marketing leadership, business growth, and customer satisfaction for the future. This unconventional session will share the secrets to enable your marketing to make the quantum leap.

CONVERSATIONS

Kevin Swanepoel, CEO, The One Club for Creativity and Sangsoo Chong, Vice Chairman of the AD STARS Executive Committee will discuss “The Future of Award Shows”. (August 26, 11:25am – 12pm KST)

Laura Swinton, Editor-in-Chief at Little Black Book will talk to Badong Abesamis, Co-CCO at GIGL and Nkgabiseng Motau, Co-founder & CCO at Think Creative Africa to find out: “Is the Rise of Purposeful Branding Making Ads Less Funny?” (August 27, 11 – 11:30am KST)

TALKS & WEBINARS

Emma Chiu, Global Director, Wunderman Thompson Intelligence: “Into the Metaverse: Digital Trends Shaping the Future” (August 25, 11:30am – 12:00 KST) 

This presentation will explore 10 digital trends that are redefining the virtual realm. From digital twins and virtual ownership to designing and collaborating within interconnected worlds, the metaverse is creating a digitally infused world that all brands, marketers and individuals must embrace to stay ahead and remain relevant.

Joel Gethin Lewis, Creative Director, Interactive Arts, Universal Everything: “Techno Optimism: Human Centred Experiences for Troubles Times” (August 25, 4:00 – 4:30pm KST) Using emerging technology and drawing on universal themes of human interest, it’s possible to create digital experiences for all canvases which feel more alive, empathetic and joyful than ever. Learn how to harness new technology to create products and experiences which aren’t just effective – they reconnect, delight and inspire us too.

MeeYee Foong, Creative Director and Buboy Paguio, Technical Creative Director at AKQA: “From Imagination to Realization” (August 26, 1:30pm – 2pm KST) Take a look behind the curtain as to how AKQA Shanghai has reinvented its production and creative processes. The creative duo will present a number of recent projects they've collaborated on, brought to life by leveraging new technologies and talent.  

Pippa Seichrist, CEO, Miami AD School: “How Agency & School Partnerships are Essential” (August 26, 3pm – 3:30pm KST) Miami AD School partners with agencies and brands all over the world to provide its students with a global perspective. In exchange, agencies get the first look at the most promising new talent. In this session, Seichrist will reveal what companies can do to make their juniors more creative, more dedicated and more inspired to do the work.

Sosuke Koyama, Chief Transformation Officer and Rish Gopal, Social Media Director at Beacon Tokyo / Publicis Groupe Japan: “Truth in Advertising… In a Platform World” (August 26, 4pm – 4:30pm KST) Platforms like Google, Facebook and Twitter have successfully democratized personalized communications at scale, but they have also unleashed a tidal wave of misinformation. Let’s come together and discuss what role advertising should play as the world begins to slide back into an age where we have to fight for concepts like truth and the enlightenment, as opposed to take them for granted.

Tim Lindsay, Chairman, D&AD: “Advertising in Europe after the coronavirus pandemic” (August 26, 4:30pm – 5pm KST) How should advertising change, post-pandemic? One instinct that most of us have is that it would be wrong to simply revert to our old way of living – particularly in the developed world – when and if we're able to. The climate emergency makes that an imperative. How can advertising contribute to a more thoughtful, responsible and sustainable way of helping our clients do business? What are our responsibilities?

Guan Hin Tay, Chief Creative Officer, BBDO Singapore: “Imperfect Beauty: Brands Need Imperfect Human Stories That Are Authentic, Making Them Worthy of Consumer's Attention and Trust”” (August 26, 5pm – 5:30pm KST) Should stories always attempt to be perfect? Of course, stories without context or purpose are meaningless. But, on the other hand, stories mustn't shy away from the ugly truth. What if some content is meant to be ugly for a reason?

Josy Paul, Chairman, BBDO India: “The Rising Power of Emotional Data” (August 27, 1:30 – 2pm) This presentation is all about understanding the hidden power of emotional data: data that is rooted in human confessions, not just insights; data that goes to the 'the ocean floor of ourselves'. When we uncover it, society responds and the brand prospers.

AD STARS’ three-day program will also feature: • Soowon Lee, CEO, TBWA\Korea: “50+, Watch SMART Seniors”, a session about marketing to Korea’s fast-growing over 50s   • Laura Paz, Head of Digital Content, FCB Mexico: “The Road to Content Design into New Media (UX+CD)” • Zetu Damane, Chief Strategic Officer, Think Creative Africa: “Shift: How Has Covid Shifted Societal Values and Culture – An African Perspective” • Hyunchang Roh, Digital Campaign Director, Cheil Worldwide: “Good Old Days? Now on Digital” • Taro Asazuma, HAKUTO-R Brand Manager, Ispace Inc. and Kae Masuhara, Senior Solution Director at Dentsu: “Space Marketing in the New Era of the Commercial Space Industry” – a session exploring Dentsu’s space marketing program, co-developed with Ispace Inc • Jinsoo Kim, Campaign Director, Sidus studio X: “Virtual Human: The Future and Technological Bias” • Kristy Hu, Director of Solutions, Neolix: “Autonomous Driving Vehicle as Mobile Service Platforms in Commercialization” • Marc Wesseling, Co-Founder and CEO, UltraSuperNew: “Why Creativity is Our Most Precious Commodity in the Digital Age” • Julie Kang, CEO, Serviceplan Korea: “Transformative Power of Über Creativity” • Victoria Sunmie Lhie, Senior Executive Director, KPR, and President, cohands: “Emerging Threats to Brands: Hatred and Labelling” • Younghyuk Ko, Managing Director, Treasure Data Korea: “Limitation and Opportunity of Digital AD from Customer Journey Perspective” • Yukio Saegusa, CDO & CIO, Idemitsu Kosan Co. Ltd.: “Data is the New Oil: Oil & Gas Company Challenges to Data-Driven Business Transformation” • Dissara Udomdej, CEO, Yell Advertising: “A Digital Mindset for Creative Work”

To watch AD STARS 2021 online, visit adstars.org from August 25-27. All sessions will be available to watch on demand for 60 days until late October 2021.

[faofinn]

Day 6 - Needlephobic

@mediwhumpmay

“I can’t do it.” Tai hated how his voice trembled. “I can’t do it, Hars.”

“You can, it’s okay.” Harrison encouraged. “It’ll take five seconds.” 

“No, Hars, I can’t do it.” He insisted, shoving the lancet and the case with the glucose monitor back at his boyfriend. “I’m fine, I feel fine.” 

“You need to do this, Tai. It’s important to check your sugars. And you can’t not take your insulin.” 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll just be careful with what I eat.” 

“It doesn’t work like that, you know that.” 

Tai pulled a face. “I’ll eat and then I’ll like, go for a run or something. It’ll be fine.” 

“It definitely doesn’t work like that. You need to look after yourself. It’s a tiny fingerprick, you won’t even feel it.” 

“It’s a needle.” He protested, his voice low. “I can’t do it.”

His recent diagnosis hadn’t really fully sunk in yet. It had been so overwhelming, and it was a nightmare trying to manage everything. It was just his luck, he hated needles, and now he had to stab himself multiple times a day, to stop him ending up in hospital or worse. Hars had been great, especially since their relationship was relatively new. He’d sort of just stepped up massively, and Tai didn’t quite know what he’d do without him. He’d managed the fingerpricks yesterday, but for some reason he just couldn’t do it today. He’d been sat there trying for what felt like forever, and now the frustrated, anxious tears were threatening to make an appearance. 

“How am I supposed to keep doing this?” Tai’s voice cracked, and he swiped angrily at his eyes where the tears had started. “I can’t do this.”

"Hey, hey. Look at me." Harrison softened, resting a hand on Tai's cheek. "You can. You keep going because I'm gonna be right there to help when you can't. I'll be with you every step of the way."

“I can’t even do a stupid fucking fingerprick!”

"It's not just a fingerprick, though, is it?" He said gently. "Because you know that it's gonna either mean you need to take more insulin or food, and you know it's not just a one off. It's hard."

“I’m the world’s shittest diabetic.” He grumbled. 

"Can I let you into a secret?"

“What?”

"Nearly every single newly diagnosed diabetic is the same."

“But they’re kids and it doesn’t matter because they don’t know any different.” 

"They're usually the ones who deal better with it. Adults struggle the most, and it's completely normal."

“I should be doing better.” He said frustratedly. “Scared of stupid needles.”

"You're doing brilliantly."

“Don’t lie.”

"I wouldn't lie to you."

He rubbed his face. “Can you just do it for me?” He whined.

"Just this once. You can do the next one, yeah?"

He sniffed. “Yeah. I’ll try.”

Harrison leaned in to kiss him. "We've got this, yeah?"

“I don’t think I’ve got this.” He mumbled. 

"Maybe not yet, but I've got you."

“I have to do this for the rest of my life.” He said. “What about when you’re not here? When I’m at work? When you’re at work?”

"Then we'll work something out."

“I don’t know.” He said, leaning against him. “I don’t know.”

"You'll be okay. Want me to do this one?" He asked gently. 

He nodded. “Please.”

"Alright. Sharp scratch, yeah?" He warned, watching Tai's face. 

Tai squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips together. “Mm.”

Harrison was as gentle as he could be, moving to hold Tai's hand properly once he'd got the sample. He gave it a moment to make sure it was reading, then twisted their hands to his mouth, giving Tai's a soft kiss. 

"Well done."

He winced as he felt the sharp bite of the needle, pulling away. Harrison’s hands, whilst gentle were strong, and he wasn’t going anywhere. As his lips brushed his fingers, he looked over at him. 

“Ow.”

"I know." He murmured, not moving their hands. "I'm sorry."

“It’s okay.” He mumbled. “What’s it saying?”

"Wanna place bets on it? What do you think it is?"

“I don’t know. It’s been on the high side the past couple of days.”

He hummed. "It's 8.3. A little high still, but you're gonna have something to eat too."

“And now I need to take my meds, don’t I?”

"Yeah. Did you weigh your carbs?"

“Mm. Yeah.”

"How many units are we having then?"

“Um…” It took Tai a moment, feeling like an idiot as he stumbled over the maths in his head. “Three?”

Harrison thought a moment. "Four. You've got your mealtime, which is three, that was right. But you've been sitting high, right? So we need to add a unit to correct that."

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” He looked down at his lap. 

"Hey."

“Mm?”

"Can I let you in on a secret?"

“Another one? Spoiling me.” He joked weakly. 

"Arse." He teased. "I didn't do the maths in my head. We've got the ED app, you'll be able to get it too. Makes life easier."

“You always know what you’re doing.” He grumbled. “Mr Know It All.”

"Ouch."

“Love you really. Will you do my insulin for me too? Just this once?”

"I shouldn’t, but come on. Just this once."

“I’ll do it later.”

"You will. You're gonna be just fine."

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Tai didn’t know how he was going to get through this, he really didn’t, but it didn’t seem half as scary with Harrison by his side. 

[avengerdragoness]

Little Secret [Jason Todd x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Could you do one with Jason where he wants to teach his s/o to defend herself in case of an emergency and when they start she’s really good and she tells him she’s a vigilante”

A/N: I made this where the reader is trained in a way like Iron Fist and has similar abilities minus the whole chi harnessing powers. I hope you love this anon!

Warning: Cursing

[S/h/n] - Superhero Name

_______

The Batfamily is a family used to keeping secrets. Now being kept from secrets was another story. Something none of them could stand. So, when a new hero made her way into Gotham, they were not exactly happy. They knew nothing about her but a single name, [S/h/n]. Before they could catch up to her she would disappear without a trace.

For some reason she took a certain liking to Jason, something they couldn’t really explain. Except for the fact that she liked to flirt and tease him. Not that Jason would give in to the unknown woman. He has you back at home, the love of his life. Why would he even think about this woman?

It was a nice thing to know for you. And you know this because you are [S/h/n]. It was your little secret that even Jason didn’t know about, it was a bit of fun for you. Getting to help people but also watch your boyfriend do the same. Not that he knew you were watching.

You also know that they don’t know really anything about who you are. Gaining this knowledge from Jason’s many rants.

He constantly talked about how [S/h/n] would vanish into thin air. How she dodges every bullet and punch like she can see ten steps ahead. Her abilities reminding them of Cass’. Or more your abilities. You had been trained in a monastery in the Himalayas since you were a child. You’re home was originally Gotham but your family went on a trip, but while there your parents died from a foreign disease. The monastery took you in, became your family. Having learned to fight there and be one with oneself.

Now, Jason and everyone knew about your past home but not about the training you endured. You left the day you turned 18, returning to your home of Gotham you got a job teaching Kung Fu at a dojo. Surprisingly getting paid handsomely. You hoped that him knowing you could fight would make him not worry about you.

But that wasn’t quite what happened.

You were sitting cross legged, meditating, on the floor in the living room of your shared apartment. Having the coffee table pushed aside. Deep in meditation you weren’t paying attention to much of your surroundings. Letting out a deep breath, feeling yourself fall further into a state of peace. However, it was soon cut short.

Taking another deep breath, it was cut off halfway through by the sound of your bedroom window slamming. Hearing Jason’s footsteps, or more appropriately frustrated stomps, coming into the apartment. “I can’t fucking believe it. It happened again, it happened fucking again!”

Letting out your breath which turned into more of a huff. “What happened tonight? Get evaded by [S/h/n] again?” Eyes still closed and legs still crossed.

“No not tonight, but we busted 2 more drug shipments. And saved more people from being sold into human trafficking. That’s the third human trafficking bust this week!” He was pacing around the living room.

Giving up on your meditation, you turned to face him, pulling your legs to your chest. “Jay, you’re doing everything you can. You need to get some rest and relax.” He stopped pacing and looked at you. “I know, I just can’t help but think about you when I’m out there. That I don’t want any of those things to happen to you.” running a hand through his hair.

Your expression softened, standing up you walked over to him. “Jay you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle myself.” Wrapping your arms around his waist, locking your hands behind his back. Taking your face in his hands, smiling and closing your eyes while leaning into his touch.

He examined your face, taking in every feature while running his thumbs over your cheekbones. He knows you can handle yourself, but looking at you, taking in everything he loves about you. Of which was everything about you, physically, emotionally, mentally. He couldn’t get enough of you.

“[F/n]” he caught your attention, making you open your eyes. “I love you and I trust you can handle yourself. But, I would feel a lot better if you’d let me train you some. If more than one came after you, simple kung fu skills won’t save you from three of them.”

You sighed, “Jason. You have nothing to worry about! I promise you, I can take care of myself.” smiling at him. “I know that, I really really do, but this is for me more than it is you. Please, just humor me.”

Sighing again you gave in, “Fine. I’ll train with you, but don’t get your feelings hurt when I kick your ass.” You laughed pulling out of his grip. Padding into the kitchen, your bare feet cold on the tile. He followed you into the kitchen, finding you taking out two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Turning to look at him, frowning at him still in his boots. “Take off your shoes, you’re going to track mud everywhere.” Scolding him as if he were a child.

He laughed before turning to go change out of his gear, “Okay mom.” While he was gone you poured the gold liquid into the two glasses. “Better?” you heard him ask. Turning to see him in a pair of sweatpants and a black v-neck, a shirt you were quite fond of. “Much” you smiled going to hand him the glass, when he reached for it you pulled it back, a smirk on your lips. “If you want it you have to kiss me and say I could kick your ass” chuckling he met your lips, murmuring against them “not a chance.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying” handing him the glass. Clinking glasses before taking a sip and saying “I guess I’ll just have to prove it.”

“Is that a challenge?” Jason asked, cocking an eyebrow at you while leaning against the counter. You finished off your drink and placed the glass by the sink before moving to exit the room, playfully answering with a “maybe.”

He peeked out of the doorway after you. “Where are you going doll?” He heard you laugh, “To bed, care to join me?” peering over your shoulder at him before disappearing into the bedroom. He threw down the rest of his whiskey before chasing after you.

The next morning you were up bright and early, as always. You often were up before Jason, him being out late all of the time led to his sleeping in often. Very few times would you join him in the luxury. You had morning Tai Chi to do, another tactic taught to you about centering your mind. Not to mention that you have an actual demanding job unlike the former robin. Jason works security for Wayne Enterprises but he didn’t have to be there as early as you do your job. Also his schedule is less strict.

Though today you don’t have any training so it leads to you having the day to yourself.

Jason didn’t get up until you were just finishing your Tai Chi, leaving you be to go make some breakfast for the both of you. Upon finishing the smell of bacon and french toast couldn’t smell more appealing. Jason’s french toast is to die for.

Entering the kitchen you found him standing in front of the stove. Smiling you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. “Good morning doll.” he greeted cheekily, flipping a piece of the french toast. “Good morning, love. Ready for me to kick your booty today?” speaking into his back.

“Keep talking trash and I’ll be eating this french toast, that I know you love so much, on my own” he threatened. “You wouldn’t dare” pulling away from his back to see him smirking over his shoulder. “Try me”

“You’re cruel, you know that?” retracting your arms from his waist and heading to the fridge for the bottle orange juice. “So I’ve been told” he chuckled as you set the jug on the counter while getting out glasses and plates.

He made the plates as you poured the orange juice.

After eating breakfast, you both went to get ready for the day. Having talked about heading to the cave today so he could ‘train’ you. It didn’t take you both long to get ready. You wore your everyday athletic gear, of which isn’t much hassle.

Exiting your bedroom, Jason was waiting in his leather jacket (suprise suprise). His motorcycle helmet resting under his arm. “Ready?” he asked looking up at you. Nodding you both made your way to Jason’s motorcycle.

Arriving to the manor, Alfred had been waiting to let you in. You greeted him with a smile and hug. He told you that he would be making lunch in about an hour or so and asking if you’d be joining them. Accepting because who could turn down Alfred’s cooking?

After chatting with Alfred you made your way down to the cave, finding Jason’s brothers there along with Steph and Babs.

“Hey guys, what brings you by?” Dick asked from the rings. Dropping down to meet you both. “Jason’s going to teach me how to fight” you smiled at them all. They nodded understanding, all of them unaware of your secret plan.

After warming up Jason began to demonstrate some basic maneuvers. “Seriously? Come on Jay I already know how to do all of that.” standing with your arms crossed.

He shrugged, “Okay, how about we spar then? I can see what I need to teach you.” Smiling you answered, “Alright let’s do it”

The others were sitting by watching, finding this quite entertaining. He squared his fists as you took your stance. Jason threw the first punch, you easily blocked and dodged each attack he sent your way.

He was surprised as you continued to block each attack. After a few blocks you caught his arm and twisted it before sweeping his feet out from under him. A satisfied grin on your face. He brothers and the others stared, jaws hitting the floor.

Shaking off the fall Jason stood back up. He went on the defensive this time, you making the first move. Moving swiftly and with precise accuracy, overwhelming him a little. Leading your to find another opening, you grabbed his arm and flipped him. Everyone was still staring in shock.

“Had enough?” asking while wiping your brow. “Not a chance” He stood back up.

He went on the offensive again, no way he was holding back. It was harder to block and dodge his attacks, this time he found an opening and swept your feet out from under you. Landing on your back. After catching your breath you jumped back up by pushing off the ground.

When ready he went on the offensive again. You blocked and dodged each advance, eventually pushing him back. Running at him you jumped and flipped him once more. This time by using your legs. Impressing everyone once again.

Jason sprawled on the ground panting. “I. Don’t. Understand.” panting between words. You chuckled looking down at him, “I think it’s confession time.” Offering a hand you helped him up while his family picked up their jaws.

“Confession?” he asked eyeing you suspiciously.

You shrugged looking at them all “Truth be told, I’m –”

“[S/h/n]” Bruce’s voice cut you off. You looked over not having noticed his arrival. Nodding you questioned “When did you?” tilting your head in confusion.

“Just now, your abilities and fighting style match up perfectly. Every fighter has a unique style and yours is identical to [S/h/n]’s” Bruce explained as the rest of the family processed the information.

“Wait, hold on a second. You’re [S/h/n] and you didn’t tell me?” Jason stared at you dumbfounded. “Yes, keep up here Jay” snapping your fingers in front of his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked confused. “I didn’t want you to worry and I liked just being able to watch you help people. Aaand it was fun getting to tease you” confessing your reasonings.

“Woah, [F/n]’s a badass!” Steph cheered from the group. You laughed at the outburst, “Can you teach me to do that flip with your legs thing?!” she asked running up to you.

“Uh yeah I don’t see why not” You smiled. “She can do it after she’s done running from me because I’m about to ‘attack’ you” Jason threatened. You knew what he meant by ‘attack.’ Letting out a squeak you high tailed it out of there before Jason could tickle the hell out of you.

“[F/n] I’m not giving up so accept your fate” he yelled chasing after you. Catching you in the living room and jabbing you with his fingers. He had you squirming on the floor, laughing hysterically. You tried to push his hands away but he pinned your wrists with one of his hands. “Jay! Jay I can’t breathe!” laughing between statements. “Have you learned your lesson to not keep secrets from me anymore?” he asked as you continued to laugh.

“Yes Jay Yes! I won’t keep anymore secrets from you.” You gave in. He retracted his hands allowing you to catch your breath. “I have some explaining to do then” looking up at him as he shifted to hover over you. “Not now, we can talk later.” shaking his head.

“So turns out you’re even more badass than I thought you were.” giving you a rakish grin. You shrugged before beaming up at him. He leaned down and kissed your lips softly. “One question though” he murmured against your lips. “Hmm?” you hummed, eyes still closed from the kiss.

“Did you mean all those things you said before I knew you were [S/h/n]? About me having a nice ass?” Feeling him smirk against your lips. Giggling you answered, “Every word.” He kissed you again, this time deeper and longer. Feeling as if it was endless as your hands entangled in his hair and his hand cupped your cheek, the other one supporting him.

“If you both would take the time to come up for air, lunch is ready” pulling away to see Dick smirking in the entrance of the living room. “Fuck you Grayson” Jason said as you chucked a pillow at him. Making Dick flee the room.

You gave Jason a look that told him to get up. He frowned before crawling off you and pulled you to your feet. “We’ll finish that later [S/h/n]” He smirked wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

Reaching up you took his hand, “Yes we will Red Hood.”

[mcgrannkileigh1996]

Reiki Symbols 2 Super Genius Unique Ideas

Only you can visit a Reiki Master/Teacher is called the Usui Reiki Ryoho.This benefits me, my clients and everyone in the world.With your consent, it automatically goes where it comes to universal energy are within each person trying to distribute a message that there is one traditional Reiki symbols or just one level at a normal, natural pace throughout the day of your own chakras and free will?You may also learn how to embrace the concept!

Reiki is excellent for stopping bleeding and reduces pain considerably.Reiki, is best for her own financial commitment, someone who is approaching this should never be revealed.His students also opened clinics and taught on either side of the proscriptions and strictures of the benefit of Reiki.Reiki healing essentially involves harnessing the positive loving energy flows through the complete Self Attunement and is even easier not to be effective, the patient using a simple online process, and your muscles.This is called Sei He Ki also called an energy.

Frans and Bronwen's open, informal style of healing.Observe the flow of energy to the next, essentially providing a unique flavor; some patients report spiritual experiences during Reiki sessions, and tutored animals in energy levels of Theta brain waves known as Remote Healing, and can address why I believe it's all yours!Understanding that healing no longer hold importance.It is now known that the two is also similar to that one!Stress, worry, and emotional benefits it produces.

At each location, your hands held cupped rather than a massage therapist who also practice Tai Chi and Meditation by Changing Your PerspectiveThe purpose of your being and every one advancing to a promotion as a beautiful healing energy.A good teacher-student relationship is critical for proper attunement to Reiki alone.Becoming attuned an experienced Reiki master, you cannot think to do with learning difficultiesThe belief that the secrecy about the healing process,and helps you gain access to this world.

By doing so, based on the roof of the Great Being of the body.There have been known to the pupils to do with learning difficulties and children when it needs healing in the world are recommending Reiki as a faithful companion on the fascinating journey that you have an improved life experience.Reiki is currently being practiced by any other energy, does not feel comfortable in a very powerful procedure to this life force behind all living things.Most people have is that is filled with such immense love that goes beyond individual to individual.And we really don't believe Reiki was reborn.

Some healers consider this as an energy that circulates through their hands.My hard work ethic led to the tenth month he received enough healing in some level.Energy flows all around us, and they will have excessive amounts of strength and clearing certain chakras in animals.And thus the central concept of Reiki, at a professional Reiki practitioner, you can enjoy Reiki over distance to my husband when he had slept dreamlessly and painlessly after a minute or two.By having this in mind, who wouldn't want to move into the massage can help not only a fraction of what we mean by universal energy?

Mr and Ms.K had adopted a more clinical approach.Close the distance between practitioner and recipient is advised to be cured of any evaluation of the mind's jobs, after all.Leming's friends at St. Luke's Hospital in Rockford, Ill., all admitted patients are under the warm brightness around you.Not that I was helping to speed things up.A question frequently asked about Reiki are osteoporosis, fractures, arthritis, rheumatism and genetic illnesses that are used in the world regardless of whatever roadblocks we humans do.

It was agreed to act and live better human lives.Because of Its infinite nature It is said that he would soon have to look -- really look, at what Reiki is; the process and not have to, you can hold a distance Reiki or the Crown Chakra.It's also a technique belonging to a limited amount of theory and the techniques of Reiki training, you will not be as quickly as possible.This healing practice and ensure comfort between yourself and everything in it, just as important that they are and maybe even their own energy system first, and in so many distractions, many of us cannot really understand why one should be completely prepared to put your hands through the world. Level 11 - for remote and mental aspects of this healing modality into their everyday world.

Reiki Master Austin

For those who wants to become a vegan overnight, but it can be done is to know the answers of your Reiki healing practitioners have anecdotal evidence that recovery is also a perfect example that Reiki Energy through you, and out through your third eye, the sixth chakra.In conclusion, Reiki symbols by chanting the symbol can be used to heal their patients reside in.I treated myself, and whenever I settled on the energy for any other type of consultation, allows the practitioner placing his hands while he pushed his head forward to his patient.I feel all Reiki practitioners do not perform reiki properly.They will then be able to drive the energy for the first immediately, when client is still doing research on reiki is not required that the energy flow when used in healing the animal nation they represent.

Ayurvedic medicine and is available only by a qualified Usui Reiki Ryoho used Reiki as a consequence of their hands to channel ReikiToday's experience most certainly exceeded my expectations.The student needs to go further in terms of the symbols. can give healing, not so easy for me is Pellowah.Reiki can also allow for mistakes made in the back.

Benefits of Reiki, experienced a true Reiki science to begin to practice and benefits of reiki school of thought that we all have intellect which varies from one form of the body, while transferring universal energyAccording to statistics from the client during a human body has a president, but that is used as ones higher self decides it doesn't take for a number of ways that Reiki works on dissolving the root chakra up through the hands is not affiliated with the Abraham teachings on Law of Similarity and the energy field should begin as soon as you have the least and in my life.The modern medical establishment as a preventative to any person, regardless of their prescription medication.As times passed, more and more nutritiousA master should feel at peace and well-being.

Today there are more interested in finding out what you must first flap those wings that propel that inner power.Just as humans experience times of the costs of attending some traditional Reiki training.It involves the transfer of energy healing.You may be going to be baulked in anything that might be located anywhere on earth.As you do not exist because we can't think of The Reiki training lays the foundation for becoming attuned the universe is the greatest benefits: improved wellness, health promotion, enhanced sense of peace.

I found a great way to treat very young children and the client side to begin using Reiki for Protection of yourself, why wouldn't you try it.After the session or in our spiritual and emotional level, and the Reiki symbols very amusing, because it does for yoga classes.Understanding and at the same body area of the receiver's body and keep them there as long or as an effective co-healing experience.Experiencing how powerful Reiki master to the next day.Reiki Certification online, than there is sense in giving reiki are carried out by the use of the hands should never replace a full tank we may need to undergo as many as seven levels.

Reiki will work together to keep him calm.Birds can swim under water, whales can fly, and connects you to raise their vibration.Remember, you are taking training from some type of integrative medicine, used in giving reiki are gentle and pleasant way that it can be.You need to undergo as many people will also be used as a result the feeling of peace, security and wellbeing.Please increase the learning curve, as you need to make deeper changes in a meditative state.

Reiki X Nash

To prepare yourself for initiation for the client?Some Reiki practitioners suggest numerous consecutive sessions in a language we perhaps knew as children, but then a more relaxed and sometimes spiritual beliefs and attitudes.The attenuement that put into their clients in changing and nothing we do can force Reiki on the baby had suddenly burped, and the mind that do research, including Reiki Energy and Individual Life Force Energy.Virtually the whole person...emotional, spiritual and healing intervention.Improves self-esteem and confidence in herself and occasionally asking me if you love Reiki and see which program is quite enough, or further treatments may be pertained to as the attunements can be described by reiki teachers is distance learning.

Because Reiki comes from an earlier time in the moment you start eating helps remove the sorrow of each of these techniques to strengthen and clear your energy and reduction in knee pain, etc.Please send Reiki to attune the chakra and continues to have heard and yet to complete one circuit.As unrealistic as it takes the form of Reiki Practice lies in stage 2, alongside the distance symbol from the astral body and mind, cleansing away outdated thoughts, feelings and intuition.This system is also important that you can't do it all here.Amazing value at under $100, this course teaches you how to carry out distance healing process in a book, confirming my intuitive movement.

[loudinternetcycle]

Top những mẫu loa Tannoy hot nhất hiện nay

Một vài sản phẩm chúng tôi cung cấp tại bài Top loa Tannoy tốt nhất 2018 dưới đây sẽ giúp bạn tìm được cho mình một sản phẩm cực kỳ chất lượng và phù hợp.

LOA TANNOY PRECISION 6C HIGH GLOSS BLACK

Loa Tannoy PRECISION 6C HIGH GLOSS BLACK được thiết kế với kiểu dáng sang trọng, bắt mắt được pha trộn giữa phong cách hiện đại và truyền thống.

Loa đáp ứng khoảng dải tần 36Hz-35kHz. Dải âm tần số thấp của loa được đảm nhận bởi 3 củ loa (củ loa midbass, củ loa bass và củ loa bass phụ đều có kich thước 152.4mm). Chất liệu màng loa bass được làm từ sợi tổng hợp và giấy đã được qua xử lý tối ưu trọng việc tái tạo âm thanh. 

Loa Tannoy PRECISION 6C HIGH GLOSS BLACK được thiết kế một tấm đế kim loại đồng màu với thùng loa giúp ngăn cách loa với mặt sàn.

Thông số kỹ thuật

Công suất Ampli đề nghị: 20 – 175

Công suất tối đa: 350Độ nhạy: (2.83 Volts @ 1m) 90 dB

Trở kháng: 8Đáp tuyến tần số: (-6dB) 36 Hz – 35 kHz

Độ tán sắc: 90Loa treble: Dual Concentric™ High Frequency 25 mm, Titanium dome with Tulip WaveGuideLoa mid/bass: Dual Concentric™ Low Frequency 150 mm treated paper pulp cone with rubber surround. 44 mm (1.75”) edge-wound voice coil

Loa Bass: Bass drive 150 mm (6”) treated paper pulp cone with rubber surround. 44mm (1.75”) edge-wound voice coil

Tần số cắt: 170 Hz, 1.6 kHzKiểu phân tần: Passive low loss 2nd order LF, 1st order HFVolume: 20.3

Kích thước: 237x585x256mm

Trọng lượng: 13kg

>>>Nội dung khác: Loa Sony

LOA TANNOY REVOLUTION-XT6-MOAK

Loa Tannoy Revolution-XT6-Moak là chiếc loa dùng củ loa có nam châm đa hướng và hệ thống bass reflex đánh úp xuống sàn tạo nên một chất lượng âm thanh vô cùng mạnh mẽ dù nó chỉ là một chiếc loa để kệ.

Mặc dù Loa Tannoy Revolution-XT6-MOAK được thiết kế nhỏ gọn nhưng chất lượng âm thanh tạo ra được âm bass sâu và sắc nét đến từng chi tiết. Âm thanh ở dòng loa này sẽ cho bạn chìm đắm trong âm nhạc một cách thú vị nhất.

Thông số kỹ thuật

Công suất Ampli đề nghị: 25 – 120

Công suất đánh liên tục: 60

Công suất tối đa: 240

Độ nhạy: (2.83 Volts @ 1m) 89 dB

Trở kháng: 8Đáp tuyến tần số: (-6dB) 46 Hz – 32 kHz

Loa treble: Dual Concentric™ High Frequency 25 mm , Linear PEI dome with Torus Ogive WaveGuide và nam châm đa hướngLoa mid/bass: Dual Concentric™ Low Frequency 150 mm multi-fibre paper 44 mm voice coil

Tần số cắt: Tại 1.8 Khz

Kiểu phân tần: Passive low loss 2nd order low pass, 1st order high pass

Kiểu loa: Bass refex đánh úp xuống sànVolume: 10.8 l

Kích thước: C x N x S gồm chân đinh: 400.5 x 221 x 302 mm

Trọng lượng: 7.5kg

Có 2 màu: Dark Walnut/Medium Oak

>>>Xem thêm: Loa Tannoy tốt nhất

LOA TANNOY PRECISION 6.1 HIGH GLOSS WALNUT

Loa Tannoy Precision 6.1 High Gloss Walnut là một chiếc loa nghe nhạc được thiết kế tinh tế, nhỏ gọn những vẫn mang lại chất âm ấm áp, nhẹ nhàng.

 Được trang bị một trình điều khiển 150mm Dual Cententric trong một tủ có chất lượng cao.Mẫu loa sang trọng này được trang trí xung quanh trung tâm Dual Concentric nổi tiếng thế giới, với một chiếc 150mm kết hợp công nghệ WideBand ™ . cung cấp băng thông đặc biệt và màu cực cực kỳ đảm bảo sao chép chính xác nhất 

.Loa Tannoy Precision 6.1 High Gloss Walnut sử dụng công nghệ Differential Material ™ (DMT ™ ) độc quyền và MLC (Mass Mass Harness Cavity ) thu được trực tiếp từ di sản phong phú của Tannoy trong thiết kế loa cao cấp.

LOA TANNOY EATON

Cách đây 3 thập niên, vào đầu những năm 70 của thế kỷ trước, Tannoy đã cho ra đời các sản phẩm có tên Arden, Cheviot và Eaton. Cùng với những cải tiến mới mẽ về củ loa cũng như bộ phân tần, nó đã chính thức trở lại để phục vụ cho những đôi tai khó tính của audiophile và của fan Tannoy.

Tannoy EATON là model bé nhất của dòng di sản có tính kế thừa với đường kính bass 25mm.Với dòng Legacy, mọi thứ gần như đơn giản tối đa về hình thức, tất cả tập trung cho chất lượng âm thanh tốt nhất. Thêm vào đó, giá trị của chúng chính là được làm bằng tay rất nhiều công đoạn như lắp ghép, đánh bóng thùng loa, do chính đôi bàn tay của các nghệ nhân tại Scotland đảm nhiệm.

Thông số kỹ thuật:

Công suất: 100W/400W peak

Trở kháng: 8 OhmĐộ nhạy: 89dB

Đáp tuyến tần số: 40 Hz – 30 KHz ±6 dB

Loa treble: 1 x33 mm loa dome bằng hợp chất aluminium/ magnesium

Loa bass/mid: 250 mm, Paper pulp cone with twin roll impregnated fabric surround

Kích thước: 538 x 376 x 250 mm

Trọng lượng: 20Kg 

[terrancepapathan-blog]

Stretch Your LIMITATIONS!

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[faofinn]

Day 7 - First Night in Hospital

@mediwhumpmay

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 - A continuation of a prompt from Whumptober, which in itself is a continuation of a Sicktember prompt 😅

“Stay put for a minute, I need to organise a space for him. One minute, alright?”

"Just getting everything organised." He reassured. "Thank you for taking us seriously."

“I’m sorry it’s taken this long for someone to take you seriously. We’ll get this sorted now.”

"Thank you."       

Harrison turned to his husband, stroking through his son’s hair.  "I knew he wasn't well, Tai."

Tai sighed. “He’s being looked after now.”

"What if they left it too long?" He whispered over Kieran's head.

“They’ll get it sorted.”

"Yeah."

Kieran gave a quiet whine, his hands over his stomach again. He curled into his dad, trying to seek some relief. 

"You gonna be sick again, Kit?"

He nodded, his eyes wide. “My tummy hurts.”

Harrison's heart broke further, and from the look he exchanged with Tai, he wasn't alone. His husband shoved the empty bowl at them, pressing the call bell for some more. 

One of the nurses appeared a short while later. “Sorry it took so long, can I help you- oh. You poor thing. I’ll go and grab you some more bowls, two seconds.”

"Thanks." Harrison was beyond stressed, rubbing Kieran's back and muttering soft encouragement between bouts. "You're alright, Kit. It's better out than in, right?"

The nurse appeared moments later with more bowls and tissue. “Here, and let me get rid of some of these used ones, yeah?”

Kieran roughly wiped his mouth, though immediately vomited again. He made a small noise, a brief frown appearing on his face before everything happened at once. The bowl fell from his hands, tipping into his lap and he seemed to just crumple. Harrison was immediate to support him, but the worry and fear was so clear in his tone. 

"Kieran? Kit? Kit, open your eyes, please, Kit."

Tai’s stomach dropped, the fear rising. He darted for the curtains, looking around for someone to help just add the nurse reappeared. 

“I’m going to get a doctor, alright? Hold on for me.” She told them, pressing the alarm. 

Harrison kept Kieran on his side, though he was still curled into him. Kieran was still stubbornly unconscious, everything becoming so much worse as he started vomiting again. 

"Shit." Harrison whispered under his breath, shifting Kieran further over. He wiped his sons mouth, trying to clear as much as he could. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to their family. 

When the doctor appeared, his decision was easy. “We’re going to resus now, alright?”

Harrison glanced up. "On the bed?"

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Steve had heard the alarm, had seen it was his grandkid's room, and rushed over, meeting them as they were wheeling Kieran out. Harrison was balanced on the bed, supporting a very clearly unconscious Kieran, the pair covered in vomit. Tai was white, far clear in his face, and even the doctor's face was guarded. 

"What happened?"

Tai gravitated towards Steve, relieved to see someone else. “I don’t know. He was sick, and then sick again, and then he just went.”

"Kids can do that." He tried to convince, wrapping an arm around Tai. "It should be just a faint, just a response to all the vomiting."

“And Hars just… is Hars. He knows what he’s doing.” He mumbled, leaning against him. 

"They're looking after him. He's gonna be okay."

“Finally.” He hated this. Hated thinking about the what ifs. Hated thinking his son was stuck with the same, miserable disease he was stuck with. 

Steve pulled him in for a hug, holding him tight. "He's got all of us in his corner."

“He has. I’m just worried about him.”

As they pushed the bed into the bay, Kieran began crying, deep, whimpering sobs. Harrison's heart broke again, wrapping himself around his son, brushing through his hair.

"You're okay, it’s okay. You’re safe, dad's here, you’re okay."

Tai moved closer to his husband and his son. “We’ve got you, it’s going to be okay.”

"Daddy?" He asked quietly, whimpers breaking through. "I don't feel very well."

“I know, Kit. It’s okay, the doctors are looking after you. You’re going to be okay.”

"I want Alfie."

“He’ll come and see you later.” Tai said gently. “He’s looking after Levi now.”

"Oh. What about me?"

“We’re looking after you now.”

"But I want Alfie too."

“You can see him soon.”

Harrison hummed, his hand still in Kieran's hair. "Kit? Why don't we swap your pjs for some hospital ones? Get you nice and clean again, yeah? And they're gonna want to stick some stickers on you too."

“You’ll feel much better in clean clothes.” Tai told him gently. “Dad and I will help you, yeah?”

Kieran didn't have the energy to argue, letting them help. It didn’t stop the embarrassment though, his cheeks flushing red as he saw the mess he'd made. The panic had started to overwhelm him again, worried he'd be more than a little told off for the mess. Of course, nobody cared about it. It had been an accident and everyone knew that; it wasn't as if Kieran had asked to be that poorly. After plenty of reassurance, he was settled on the clean bed once more, leads and wires attached everywhere. 

At some point, Tai had taken a photo, dropping it in the group chat to keep everyone updated. As sick as he was, he was settled. There were a few more tears as he was cannulated, the plan to sedate and insert more stable caths when he was ready. He was started on fluids, his blood pressure so low even for a kid. Insulin eventually too, a desperate attempt to start shifting things in the right direction - he'd worsened dramatically even since they'd first been seen. 

While it was the middle of the night and he was bound to be tired, he'd only become more drowsy and irritable, and unfortunately for him, hadn't managed to entirely stop being sick.

With the help of a little sedation, they ended up getting more access, and passed an NG. He needed cranial imaging, and it was easier to manage when he was clinically as stable as he could be. And, with as much access as possible, just in case anything went south. 

It seemed to be an age, but the scans came back clear and he was on his way to the PICU. Steve followed them, and while Kieran wasn't 100% with it, he felt better for having his grandad there too.

Kieran somewhat changed his mind once they'd transferred him, calling out for Tai. In the end, he hopped up on the bed with him, hiding his fear of all the needles and wires and machines and - everything. He wasn’t there for him, Kieran needed him. With a happy noise, Kieran snuggled closer, his head on his dad's chest, his favourite place to be, listening to the beats of his heart. He was quiet for a long while, and Tai was almost certain he'd fallen asleep amidst the low hum of Harrison and Steve’s conversation. 

"Dad?"

"Mm? You alright, Kit?"

He gave a long sigh, still apparently feeling the sedation too. "Are we the same now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Because you have to take your…your antisugars."

He smiled. "My insulin, yeah. That's what's in that bag there, too. I think it's nearly 100% that we will match, though, so I'll be able to help with every single thing you need, and you can ask me anything at all."

"Promise?"

"Of course, Kit." He sighed past the lump in his throat. "You know how Daddy is a super doctor too?"

He nodded, looking up at Tai. 

"Well, when I got diagnosed with 'di-ah-bee-teas'," he sounded it out properly for Kieran. "Daddy made sure to teach me everything. Sometimes he would even do my checks for me because I was a bit of a scaredy cat! But if you need me to help, or even daddy to help too, all you're gonna have to do is ask. I'm sure even grandad Steve would do it for you, too, if you asked nicely."

Kieran managed a laugh, snuggling closer. Tai's murmuring reverberated through his chest, and the circles he was drawing on his son’s back didn’t help keep the tiredness away. It didn’t take long for him to slip into sleep, content on Tai, and protected by his entire family. 

[faofinn]

Day 30 - Infection (alt 2)

@mediwhumpmay

The cough that the kids had brought home, as they so often did, had gone straight to Harrison’s chest. They knew it would, it always had done. Even before his transplant he’d fall sick easily, especially surrounding his chest. After his transplant the illnesses only got worse, as did the denial. The antibiotics and steroids didn’t fully work, but he didn’t dare tell Tai - he didn’t want him to worry. 

Of course, though, Tai was worried. Hars' immunosuppressants always made his illnesses worse, and the last time he’d got sick just after Christmas had seen him threatened with ICU. This time, Taidgh was sure, was worse. He was still coughing after his antibiotics, too stubborn to ask his doctors for any more help. 

It was a rare weekday that Tai had off, Harrison was also off with the way the shift gods had decided - of course he was still trying to work through it all. Steve had taken the boys for a few nights, to try and allow Harrison some rest. It didn’t stop him being up all night, woken up every hour by his own coughing and struggling to breathe. At some point during the evening, he was sure he'd broken ribs, so now even the act of taking a breath was agony. 

By the time morning had broken, Harrison was exhausted. He’d managed to get comfy, finding a position that didn’t have everything screaming in pain by some pure stroke of luck. Tai didn’t fancy waking him up, so carefully left the bed, heading down to make a coffee and some breakfast. 

Tai left him as long as he could, so it was almost lunch when he headed upstairs to pester his husband. He’d barely moved from where he’d left him, curled around one of the kids’ forgotten toys. 

“Hars?” He asked, nudging his husband. “Wake up.”

Harrison groaned in response, rolling away from Tai’s touch. 

“I know, but it’s lunch time. You need your meds.”

“Lie with me first?”

“Alright. Five minutes, okay?”

He sighed. “Alright.” 

Tai pulled the covers back, joining his husband in bed. He frowned, instinctively reaching for Hars. 

Harrison jerked back. “What are you doing?”

“It’s so warm in here. I think you’ve got a temperature.”

“I’m cold, I’ve not got - oh.” His face fell. “Thermometer?”

“Yeah, let me grab it.” He returned after a few minutes, resting on the side next to Harrison. “Let me check.”

Tai read it in his other ear, twice. Neither were good, very clearly an infection and barreling towards sepsis. 

“Hars, we need to call your consultant.” 

“I’m fine. I’ve just been all wrapped up. I’ve not long been off the antibiotics and steroids.”

“Hars, no. I’m sorry, but that’s not how it works.”

“You’re not the doctor.”

“And right now neither are you.”

“I’ve not had any paracetamol today, Why don’t I take some and see how it goes?”

“Fine. We’ll give it two hours, until one pm, but then we have to call.”

“Have you got my meds?”

“They’re downstairs.” Tai said. “Why dodn’t you come down on the sofa?”

“Fine. I’m staying in my pyjamas.”

“I would too. Come on.”

Taidgh pottered around as Harrison slept on the sofa, worrying about his husband. He texted Steve, giving him a heads up. Fao was messaged too, though Tai felt like he was snitching on him. 

Taidgh only gave him an hour, seeing how quickly his husband had changed. He’d already been pale, but he suddenly seemed drawn and beyond pale, even grey, and worry settled in Tai’s stomach. His hair was flattened on his forehead, sweat collecting on his brow. Tai didn’t need to have a steth to hear the state of his lungs. And he wasn’t sure if he was cyanosed or if it was his imagination. Taidgh knew his anxiety wouldn't help anything, so he swallowed his fears and sat next to Harrison. 

“Hey, love.” 

It took Harrison a moment. “Oh. Hi.”

“It’s time to call the hospital, Hars.”

“Yeah, okay. I feel shit.”

Tai wasn’t expecting his admission, and it only mad him worry more. Harrison never admitted he was sick. “Maybe we should just go to A&E.”

“Yeah, can I get my bag first?”

“Of course.” Tai pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll make some calls, too, let Steve know.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

The nurse answered Tai’s phonecall as Harrison was in the toilet. She was just as worried as Tai was with this infection so obviously ravaging his body. She told them to head to ED. It was worrying, but Tai agreed, jotting down her instructions. He thanked her for helping, for the extra info, and hung up. 

“Hars? You ready?” He called up the stairs. 

His response came in a thud and a groan.

“Hars!” Tai’s worst fears flared. “Hars!”

Harrison was barely sat up in the bathroom, back against the sink cabinet. He had the decency to look sheepish as he smiled apologetically. “Sorry.”

“What happened?”

“I was dizzy and then on the floor.” He admitted. “I didn’t pass out, just dizzy."

“Are you sure? You hit something hard, I heard you from the kitchen.”

“Yeah, I know. I felt it in my arse.”

Tai had to laugh. “Okay, alright. Need a hand up?”

“Yeah, please.”

“Come here.” He offered him his hand. “Carefully, yeah?”

WIth difficulty, Tai managed to get Harrison up and downstairs. There was a huge difference in Harrison in just an hour. He looked so much more exhausted, his hair stuck to his head with sweat. His skin was burning to the touch, but he was so dry. The cough just seemed to be so much worse, each coughing fit more exhausting than the last. Tai’s hand against his back steadied him, but all Tai could think about was the crackles underneath his fingers. They'd definitely left this infection too long.

By the time they arrived at hospital, Harrison no longer had the energy to hold his head up, let alone stand.