#every community has made it clear that im not what they want.

[ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal]

Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine

PART FIVE

Ot8 x reader

Word Count: 812

Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! Does have age regression themes so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read <3 also this will definitely have some angst

!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!

Days passed and everytime you hung out with them, they seemed more affectionate than usual.

“Is something going on?” You asked suddenly after Seungmin wrapped a fluffy blanket around you the second you sat down on the couch.

The guys look at eachother as if silently communicating then Seungmin chuckles a bit and playfully scoffs. “There is nothing going on,” he says, not being able to make up an excuse otherwise.

You look at Seungmin curiously, not believing him for a second. “All of you have me basically catering to my every need for days now.”

“Oh please, you’re just delusional,” Seungmin tries to play it off, crossing his arms over his chest.

Looking at the guys again, you notice Felix avoiding eye contact. You look at him for a few more seconds before trying to get information from him, knowing he would most likely be the person to tell you the truth. “Lixie? Is there something that y’all aren’t telling me?”

Before Felix can open his mouth, Changbin speaks. “Oh I can’t take it anymore. This is eating me alive!” He says dramatically, before turning to you “We know about your age regression.”

Your face drops in shock with his sudden outburst, hearing Han, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Chris give Changbin a collective “really dude”.

“How…” seems to be the only thing you could say, your eyes looking between each of the guys.

Chris clears his throat before explaining quietly as if he is scared for the outcome of his sentence, “the other night… the night you wanted to leave suddenly… you showed signs of being a little…” He trails off, looking at you genuinely.

“Before you say anything or try to deny it, we think it’s cute.” Hyunjin says quickly, his eyes wide to try and get his point across.

Felix looks at Hyunjin and chuckles, “Hyung, if you keep looking at her like that, you’ll probably freak her out.” He says, trying to lighten the situation, causing a few of the guys to chuckle.

“I-I just… how do you guys know what that is? Or how to look for signs of it?” You ask, curious how they all caught on.

“The old guy knows about it… but don’t ask him how because it’s the most depressing story you’ll ever hear!” Seungmin explains, causing Chris to playfully shove him, saying a quick “it’s not depressing… and im not old!”

You look at Chris, as if observing him. A part of you always seen Chris as some type of caregiver, but now you don’t know if he knows about it in that sense or if he is possibly a little himself. “I want to know the story…” You blurt out, wanting to know the explanation which causes seungmin to playfully groan.

So Chris explains, and your eyes soften as he does. “You were a caregiver to littles online who didn’t have one because you always wanted to be a caregiver?” You ask softly, causing Seungmin to say “See! Depressing!”

“After Hyung told us about how he suspected you as a little, we wanted to learn how to be a caregiver,” Minho speaks up, his eyes looking at you softly. “We wanted you to feel comfortable around us enough so if you ever wanted or needed to regress… you can.”

This explanation makes you tear up. Knowing the guys went out their way to want to learn how to properly be a caregiver… no one has ever done that before. “You wanted to do that… for me?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper.

“We would move mountains for you, Sunbeam, if it meant seeing you carefree and happy.” Felix reassured you, smiling gently.

The petname made you blush, your cheeks now covered a pinkish red. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you guys.”

“Okay, back up!” Han says, standing up from the couch. “Why hasn’t anyone informed me of this information?!?! Where was I when all of you had this important discussion of our princess?” He expresses playfully, though he is very serious.

The guys looks at one another, forgetting to tell Han any of this. “In our defense, you were sleeping next to her when we talked about it!” Jeongin informs, raising his hands up defensively.

“Wait, Hannie, you didn’t know? Then why were you so affectiante with me as well?” You ask curiously.

Han’s mouth pratcially drops in shock, “I am always affectionate with you!” He says in a desperate voice. “You’re my whole world, I always treat you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world!”

“Okay, yeah you make a good point.” I say, chuckling a bit.

Changbin stands up and goes to crouch infront of you, looking up at you. “Since the cat is now out the bag… maybe now you can help us know how to properly take care of you.”

TAGLIST: @puppyminnnie

[cloudd-nyne]

Bleh.

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

HEY! Just because I am now 20 I think having something to kind of re establish boundaries would be good! Considering the ones I put all those times ago have changed :D GENERAL RULES! Do not be racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, or discriminatory against anyone for any reason. Please if someone is calling you out for things you have done or said, please self-reflect and take the proper steps to change or remove yourself from the community. If you see something you do not like, and it IS MADE WORSE BY BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT, THEN IGNORE IT! Bringing attention to problems that just arent really problems with either the community or me in general are not worth it! Please use common sense when thinking about what/what not to engage with! I personally wish that people in the community do NOT engage with people who just obviously do not like me! Chances are they want a reaction from it so it is MUCH better to just not argue with someone whos mind you will not change! ALLOW CRITICISM OF ME AND MY CONTENT! IF YOU DONT AGREE OR DONT LIKE THEN DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT!!!! ALL IT WILL DO IS CAUSE UNESSICARY DRAMA!!! DO NOT make ANY comments or content about me that is explicitly sexual. I completely understand that lately there have been bits due to the changes in how I’ve been presenting myself and how I’ve been presenting more femininely, but that does not allow anyone to use that as an excuse to sexualize any features and such that are more feminine or masculine. Remember that femininity is not sexual and should not be seen or created as such just because its there! (for example, the Vtuber costume and chat being overly weird over the added boobs where there was no need for it). DO NOT draw me in ways that are sexual either, such as highlighting any aspects in a sexual way, or making the content something sexual. I am completely okay with being drawn as any body type, masculine presenting or feminine presenting, as long as you stick to this! PLEASE DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! Making jokes about certain topics CAN be fine, but a line is crossed when it becomes a legitimate speculation or if a joke is said when I have expressed my discomfort! RESPECT MY FRIENDS!!! All of my friends are their own, incredible people. And they do not deserve to be lumped in or referred to as JUST "my friend". Be respectful in their chats even when im not there, and be respectful to all of them everywhere else! IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE LISTEN!!! There has been a lot of times in which I have seen people be unwilling to change in the face of a genuine discussion, and that is not something I want in the community! I should NOT have to police every single thing because it should NOT take me saying something in order to change your mind! As my words are not worth more or less when it comes to a lot of subjects! And lastly, do good. Whenever you have the ability to. BE POSITIVE!!! The hater mindset is very draining and can be very toxic to both you and the people around you, so highlight the good instead of the bad if you have the ability to! I am so incredibly proud of how far this community has come, and I cannot wait for the future!!! I have spent some time writing this, but it may not be perfect, so I will update this as time goes on and I think of more, or if something needs to be SUPER cleared up, but for now these are the main ones! I will NOT be updating this after every little thing however, as I do not want you guys to feel like the only way that something is wrong is if I talk about it! As you guys should be able to sustain yourself as a community without my consistent input! Imma go enjoy my birthday by eating a pizza :) thank you all!

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

More Headcanons: Brother Edition

• leo and raph are a lot closer emotionally than they seem. they can read each other like it's literally nothing

• donnie and mikey are the younger two so they often bond whenever raph and leo are in to it. they seek each other for comfort even in to their late teens and adulthood years

• raph and mikey are extremely close emotionally and relationship wise. they're each other's first best friend

• donnie and leo are close relationship wise but not real emotionally. they can talk to each other about anything and not dwell on it

• mikey and leo have the typical big bro/little bro relationship. it's clear to the other two that leo tries to keep mikey out of harms way the most..leo will take that to the grave

• donnie and raph are the middle children but donnie's little broisms come out whenever he wants raph to do something for him/with him

• raph was actually the smallest until puberty

• mikey knows just what to say to make each of his brothers laugh, even when mad

• leo has a sharp tongue and has always made it everyone's problem

• donnie leaves the empty boxes of food in the fridge and cupboard

• they all shared a bed until they hit puberty and sometimes end up piled on top of each other if they're watching a movie

• affectionate head pats/shoves

• "donnie if you don't knock it off with your middle child nonsense!" (raph at some point)

• mikey likes to sit with donnie in his lab sometimes when he has nightmares cause the noises are calming

• don't trust leo and raph alone in the kitchen together...just don't.

• "raph! sensei said you have to let me use your gameboy!" (10 year old mikey)

• donnie was, and still is, the king of talking himself out of trouble

• leo's burps put mikey to shame

• raph seeks leo's comfort whenever he's feeling sad or if he can't sleep

• splinter made a chore list when they were little and they still use it to this day...smelly markers (iykyk) and all

• they will all only drink out of the kid's apple juice boxes

• "leo...why does the ceiling have a hole in it? and what happened to the toaster?" (donnie probably)

• they have prank wars and no one wins cause splinter is old and tired (and has had enough)

• they still play fight. not sparring, no no, the typical sibling wwe matches

• leo does the "cause im older and i said so" any chance he gets

• raph does wet willies to everyone except splinter

• donnie gets away with almost everything cause middle child

• all mikey has to do is cry and he gets his way with his brothers

• "mikey, why is there an ostrich in the living room and how did you get it here?" (definitely leo)

• they eat dinner together every night

• leo and raph could be yelling their heads off at each other, but if someone else (besides donnie or mikey) were to start insulting the other, the fight is put on hold cause how dare you-

• donnie and mikey are limited on their sugar in take cause they are very out of control when they've eaten nothing but pure sugary foods

• splinter used to make them yell things they liked about each other during training and make them calmly state things they disliked about each other during meditation to teach them how to communicate

• mikey is the only one allowed to spontaneously hug raph

• donnie controls the wifi and makes sure everyone is aware of his power

• raph is the best listener when his brothers need him

• leo is everyone's biggest supporter in literally everything

• they have deep emotional bonds and trust each other with their lives. they know they can go to each other about anything and everything no matter what

[bearfools]

a few things i think people should know.

not directed at anyone in particular, but ive received multiple messages (some deleted, some not) from people and i think ill make a post about some stuff i wanna clear up as a therian.

i am aware that im bodily human, im aware that this will not change.

i am aware that acting wild (or as someone said, "gross" and "ill mannered") does not make me an animal

no, i am not a little kid discovering new terms on the internet and using them for clout. i am an 18 year old man who had been questioning therianthropy for a very long time

no, i am not offended by people saying silly hateful things, ive seen about every basic piece of therian hate (directed at me and also other people) and none of it bothers me

no, i am not in any way attracted to animals and i do not partake in any kind of animal abuse. its weird that people assume that right after saying "youre human!!" like am i a beast or not make up your mind lmao?

no, i dont mind if you ask "silly" questions, in a community as misunderstood as therians/alterhumans i am always happy to help people understand

yes, i believe in past lives. though i do not believe theyre fully to blame for my therianthropy and i dont think every kintype of mine has a detailed backstory. i was likely many animals before i was human and i dont kin anything but bears

i had like one person ask if this was a religious thing, its not, idk how common of a misconception that is but i wanted to put it out there. im not outwardly religious, im agnostic but unbothered by any other beliefs

yes, im aware that animals live outside in the cold with diseases and predators, i am grateful for the things i am given that wild animals are not.

no, you cant hunt me (and also, what the hell? again, if youre arguing that im human then why would you hunt me?)

"how do you know your beliefs are real?" i dont. im simply a person on this earth, same as you, i dont know what lies after death, i dont know what lies before birth, but i prefer my "weird" beliefs over never believing in anything.

after i made that post about young therians (thank you all for the love by the way!) i had a few comments along the lines of "messy eating is human/making faces and acting like an animal doesnt make you an animal" i know, i know that im not a bear, i know that what i do is not limited to therians. I know kids play as animals all the time! but at the end of the day i'm happy. are you? does leaving spiteful messages make you happy?

do you send a comment on tumblr and stare at your reflection in the screen and feel fulfilled? im asking genuinely, because if it doesnt make you happy, then why do it? it doesnt affect me, worst case scenario im annoyed and then dont interact. Do you think that ill hear you say "youre not a bear" and then go "oh my bad" and delete my account? as if i havent been told those exact words my whole life (even before i knew what the internet was!)

[hugmekenobi]

Next Steps

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @im-no-jedi

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Although your return to the Batch has made things better, there are still elements of your past you have to face...

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, made-up timeline and what I imagine what Echo will be doing, limited use of y/n, swearing, my views on mindsets, referenced 'dead' characters and nightmares, mentions/descriptions of torture, detailed scar descriptions, angst, light fluff, nickname 'sweetheart', some emotional hurt/comfort, body and general worship, Hunter being dominant but a consent king, hint of a praise kink, Smut (non-explicit descriptions of making out/kissing, grinding, edging, fingering, oral (f) receiving, overstimulation, handjob, unprotected p in v- not in reality please), reader described as strong and powerful, smart and beautiful, Force-communication and more of my general interpretation of how the Force feels/works

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 12.8K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Once again, a massive thank you to @burningfieldof-clover for helping me when I got stuck and who I am very grateful to have as a friend! Dropping this before S3 graces our screens and I hope you all enjoy!

Chibbier

Echo waited in the forest clearing as the Marauder touched down. “I got your message. It sounded urgent, is everything alright?” Echo asked as soon as the door to the Marauder opened revealing his two brothers.

“Everything is fine, Echo.” Hunter said.

“More than fine.” Wrecker emphasised.

“But we agreed we weren’t to meet until (Y/N) was back with us so unless you’ve found her…” He trailed off as he saw the smile tugging at Wrecker’s mouth and Hunter in particular seemed more at ease than he’d been in the recent months. “Wait a second, you mean-”

“Hey stranger.” You said with a grin as you came into view and stood between Hunter and Wrecker. You laughed as Echo’s expression changed from stunned to happy then to relief in quick succession. You jogged down the steps and embraced him tightly. “Long time no see.”

“I’ll say.” Echo replied with a smile as he mirrored your actions. “You had me worried.”

“Worried?” You queried. It sounded like he had a specific worry in mind rather than the general worries that had plagued the rest of you for months.

“Last news of you I’d heard had me getting ready to tell the boys to launch a rescue mission.” Echo said as he parted from you. “But lucky for us, they found you before I needed to share that.”

If you weren’t so happy to see him, you could’ve punched him. You weren’t far away enough from the other two and you knew Echo’s words wouldn’t go unheard, especially by the clone with enhanced senses. You hadn’t gotten around to sharing that part of your time alone and you weren’t sure that you wanted to either.

Hunter hadn’t forgotten that there was something about your past that you weren’t telling him. He’d noticed small shifts and changes in your behaviour since you’d been back. It was things like you made sure to keep your top layer on at all times and if you had to take it off, you would always go to the refresher regardless of it you were alone or not which was something you never used to do. You hadn’t communicated with either him or Wrecker in the silent way you were able to do where they’d hear your voice in their head which was something you did regularly in the past. You were also more emotionally and physically distant, the latter happening at night in particular and ordinarily it wouldn’t bother him, but he knew the cause was rooted in something you’d gone through. But every time he tried to broach the issue, you refused to talk about whatever it was that was causing it, and it pained him that he could do nothing but watch the negative impact it continued to have on you.

“What’s going on with, Omega? Any new leads?” You asked Echo instead, ignoring Hunter’s hand that now rested on your upper arm.

“(Y/N)-”

“Not now, Hunter. Please.”

Hunter released a quiet and resigned sigh. He wanted to help you if he could, but he also knew he had to wait until you were ready. It was just getting harder to do that.

Echo glanced between the two of you. “I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?”

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. Just fill us in.”

Echo’s eyes darted to Hunter who only nodded. He took a breath and waited for Wrecker to join the three of you. “Nothing new. Imperial security on Hemlock is tight and any breakthrough just results in more cryptic information.”

“Yeah, we’ve had much of the same.” You agreed irritably.

Echo nodded before he faced Hunter. “I know we said that we’d come together once we had (Y/N) back with us, but I think it’s better if I stay doing what I’m doing. Rex and I are going to meet and try to pool together what we’ve gathered. We can tell you what we find and send you to follow up on other sources since we can’t cover everything ourselves and you can also keep searching on your own.”

Before Hunter could form a reply, the sound of branches snapping grabbed his attention.

The blaster bolt that immediately followed the noise, skimmed the armour on your upper arm.

You all reacted quickly and took cover behind the trees.

The onslaught of fire was being directed towards you and would only occasionally be aimed to your fellow clones as a way to keep them from advancing towards the source. Evidently you were the main target here.

“Hunter!” You shouted over the sound of blaster fire. When he pressed his back against the tree trunk and his helmet looked over to you, you called on the Force and dragged the assailant out from their spot, and a well-aimed shot from Hunter saw to it that the blaster was rendered useless. You kept that link with your ally to Force-push them into another tree, and they crumbled to the floor.

All of you lowered your blaster for the moment. You needed to find out why they were here, killing them immediately wouldn’t get you very far.

You stepped out from behind your tree and observed the bounty hunter carefully. Throughout the firefight, you’d felt yourself being pulled towards them, but you couldn’t work out why and that urge hadn’t gone away.

Stiff and unsteady movements had you readying your blaster again but as the hunter got to their feet and caught your eye, you understood why that feeling was there.

Your heart stopped and you stayed rooted to the spot as you saw the blade ignite from the hilt they were holding. The ground around them illuminated in a pale blue haze and you understood what was calling you to the hunter now. Your feet suddenly began moving of their own accord.

The other three all shared a collective bewildered look at what was unfolding in front of them.

Hunter collected his shock quickly and raised his hand to order the others to halt their fire as you fully stepped out to into the clearing.

The bounty hunter charged for you, but the attack posed little threat to you. Whoever this was had no idea how to use an elegant weapon like this and their grip was heavy and clumsy. It wouldn’t take much for you to disarm them.

You ducked under their reckless and uncoordinated swing, grabbed their wrist, and bent it back until the weapon fell from their grasp. You landed a hard kick to their chest, and they stumbled back. The hood fell loose- now exposing a feminine face- but she wasn’t a bounty hunter you recognised. You didn’t have much time to dwell on that since she grabbed a small knife from her boot and jabbed it towards your stomach. You parried away her strikes before you grew tired of dragging this altercation out. Landing a strong punch to her jaw, you used her dazed disposition to Force-pull her face down to the forest floor and waved the others forward.

Hunter and Wrecker pressed their knees into her back and brought her arms around to firmly hold them behind her.

You paid little attention to what they were doing. You hesitantly walked over to the weapon left discarded on the ground.

“Who hired you?” Hunter demanded as he held her down.

“Fuck off.” She snarled as she fought against their grip, but they were too strong, and she was in a much weaker position than she’d been in ten minutes ago.

Echo merely bent down to reach into her jacket pocket and pulled out the tracking fob and bounty puck. Your holographic image confirming what they’d all suspected.

Upon seeing that, Hunter found himself pushing his knee deeper into her spine, paying little attention to her groans of protest.

“Where did you get this?” You questioned softly, more to yourself than anything. You kept your back turned to her as you knelt down and studied the familiar design on the hilt. You couldn’t pick it up, not yet. You knew what you would feel if you did, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

“What?” The bounty hunter snapped as she went for another attempt to wriggle free, but the two clones kept her tight to the forest floor.

You stiffened your posture as you turned on your heels and strode over to her. You lowered your mask, found your voice, and crouched down to her eye level. “Where did you get the lightsaber?” You pointed back to where the weapon still lay abandoned.

“I’m not telling you a thing, Jedi brat.” She spat.

At her words, Hunter twisted her arm harder, ignoring her pained cry.

You signalled to Hunter to ease up and you stood tall once more and indicated to them both to get her on her feet.

Once they did so, you pressed your blaster against her stomach and brought your lips close to her ear- your voice a quiet but lethal whisper. “You know who I am and what I’ve done to people to get what I want. Do you want to be next?” At her harsh gulp, you kept pushing. “I can’t imagine what that’ll do for your reputation in your community... then again, maybe I can… shall we find out?” You knew you’d done enough as you sensed her flicker of fear. You took a step back and looked at her with a firm glare.

“It was the client I did the job for.” She muttered begrudgingly. She wasn’t about to be maimed or die for a job that wasn’t paying all that much in the first place. She’d worked too hard to be seen as a contender, she couldn’t lose that now.

“And who was that?” Hunter asked again, his voice steely.

“Some shop owner.” She replied irritably.

“A name.” You insisted.

“I can’t remember.”

You puffed out an exasperated sigh and took a half step forward.

“Kedrin! His name was Kedrin!” She revealed fretfully.

You saw the shared look between Hunter and Wrecker. “That name mean something to you?”

Wrecker nodded. “He was the one that told us to go to Christophsis to find you.”

The name meant nothing to you upon initially hearing it but evidently you were involved somehow. You ran the information over in your head. Shop owner… Kedrin… Christophsis… it was starting to make sense in your head and that would mean… Your breath caught in your throat as it hit you. You hadn’t even known his name and you’d taken his only family away from him.

“Why set the bounty on her?” Echo asked coolly, keeping his blaster focused on her.

“Not really supposed to ask.” She grunted. “He just mentioned a dead brother.” She saw the flash of something in your eyes… it looked like regret. “Oh… you killed him.”

You glared at her. You hadn’t had time to fill Echo in yet and this was not how you wanted to go about it.

Echo’s eyes darted from her to you. “What is she talking about?”

“Echo…” You started but a cruel laugh from the bounty hunter interrupted you.

“Oh, she’s achieved quite the reputation. Can’t go far in the Outer Rim without coming across someone who had dealings with her.”

Echo angled his head to face you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. As hard as you were trying to hide it, you looked… ashamed?

“Back off.” Wrecker growled at the hunter as he saw your mask of composure slip for a moment.

“What’s the matter, Jedi? Suddenly the killing and torture got too much for you? If they were all as weak as you, no wonder they’re all gone.” She taunted mercilessly.

“Shut up.” Hunter snarled as he saw the way your fists clenched as you worked on keeping your distress at bay.

But you knew it was a pointless venture. Despite her current predicament, that bounty hunter arrogance was in full flow now that she’d discovered your weakness, and she wasn’t about to stop. Her stare was filled with malice, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of turning away. Your shoulders heaved as you worked on keeping your breathing even and controlled.  

The bounty hunter addressed the clones now. "I didn’t get much guidance from my client aside from ‘kill her’ so ever since I picked up that bounty, I've been trying to think of the most chaotic way to take her out. She's obviously felt enough emotional turmoil that an easy death would be a mercy. Jedi don't deserve the luxury. I like to play with my food before I kill it."

“And how’s that worked out for you?” You retorted though your conviction was weak as her words found their mark and her sneer told you she was completely unbothered about her current situation now. Your only plan involved letting her overconfidence be her own undoing.

“Nice try.” She mocked. “For a moment I believed your threats but now that I’m really looking at you, I know you don’t have it in you to kill me anymore. You’ve gone soft and you’re pathetic I can see it in your eyes- you’re haunted by what you’ve done, Jedi.”

Your jaw clenched and you could feel those emotions you’d worked so hard to control start to rise to the surface.

“I’m getting outta here and I fully intend to finish what the Empire started-”

Hunter’s fatal shot to her chest silenced her and she flopped to the ground.

“Looks like you have something you need to deal with first.” Echo advised Hunter as he destroyed the puck and tracking fob for good measure before he holstered his blaster. He faced you. “I still don’t know what happened whilst you were on your own, but your past is your own, I won’t hold anything against you, we’re still okay.” He reassured you.

You barely managed a nod of acknowledgement as her words were still replaying in your mind, but you wouldn’t let it show. Instead, you took out your vibroblade and cut a section of her clothing. You stayed silent as you took the piece of fabric and wrapped the lightsaber in it. You knew it was a lame gesture- especially since you immediately felt that rush of connection as you lifted it- but it provided you with a false sense of security that you would rather have because the second you made unrestrained contact with it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist or turn your back on it again. You held the hilt tightly before you waved farewell to Echo and made for the ship.

Hunter nodded absentmindedly at Echo’s words whilst his gaze was fixed on you. He knew seeing that lightsaber might bring back some memories, but the intensity of your reaction told him there was more to it than simply remembering that period of your life. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and reached his hand out to Echo. “Be safe, Echo. We’ll be in touch once we’ve dealt with this.”

“You too.” Echo replied, meeting Hunter’s hand in a firm handshake before they parted, and he watched Hunter head back to the Marauder.

“See you later, Echo.” Wrecker said warmly as he lightly slapped his brother’s shoulder before he followed Hunter to the ship.

--

“What’s so special about this lightsaber?” Wrecker asked as the ship entered hyperspace.

Hunter leaned against the entrance to the cockpit, arms crossed as he studied you. Your eyes hadn’t left the weapon sitting in your lap.

“It’s mine.” You said quietly.

Hunter immediately straightened up. “It’s yours?” He repeated.

“Yup.” You cleared your throat and brought your eyes up to face the two clones. “I figured it would’ve been destroyed in Order 66. Guess not.” You said with a resigned sigh.

“Woah! Talk about lucky!” Wrecker said excitedly but you didn’t seem to match his enthusiasm. “This is good news, isn’t it?” He asked, tilting his head at you.

“I don’t know what kind of news it is, Wrecker.” You said honestly.

“What’s your hold up?” Hunter asked curiously.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty handy weapon to have and if it belongs to you, isn’t it better that it’s back with you?” Wrecker followed up.

“It’s difficult to explain.” You deflected.

“Try us.” Hunter encouraged gently.

You shot him a look, hoping he would drop it but the look in his eyes told you that he was not for dissuading. You released a short breath. “It would be like taking back a section of my life I was ready to leave behind. That I had left behind… for years.”

“And you don’t know if you’re ready to reconnect with that part of you yet?” Hunter guessed.

You shrugged in complacent agreement. “Making the choice to leave the Jedi Order was already difficult and leaving my lightsaber…. well, that was hard enough the first time and now that I have it back… I don’t know.” You ran a hand over your face. “It’s just complicated.” You got to your feet and carefully put the lightsaber on a shelf in the cockpit.

Wrecker slapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, I always think things look less complicated after a good sleep, what do ya say? We all could use some rest before we sort out this Kedrin guy.”

Sleep didn’t provide you with much respite these days, but you hummed out a quiet laugh and shared a brief smile with Hunter. “Sounds like a good idea, Wrecker.”

--

Hunter jolted awake, panic setting in as he reached for you only to find that you weren’t there, and he had a horrible feeling that he hadn’t woken up yet. But no, he could hear Wrecker’s faint snores, so he had to be awake, and he knew he was back with you, it wasn’t a trick. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t lying next to him right now.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were here, you’d been here for a while now. He’d found you; you were okay. It wasn’t like before. You were probably just in the cockpit. Yes, that’s where you had to be.

When he felt himself calm down, he got to his feet and noiselessly made his way there but paused in the entryway as he saw you reading one of Tech’s old datapads, top layer still on, feet tucked up beneath you as you sat in the pilot’s seat. He thought he’d gathered them all. “Where’d you find that?” He rasped; his voice still thick with sleep.

You jumped in your chair as you heard him. You had been utterly absorbed in what you were reading, you hadn’t sensed him approach. You looked up to see Hunter standing in the doorway to the cockpit. “Tucked behind the medkit. I forgot how much Tech truly recorded.” You said in fond remembrance although there was an overall sense of sorrow in your voice. You flashed him the title of the current report you were reading. “Remember that mission on Ryloth?”

“You and Wrecker got separated from the rest of us and decided to blow up the target from the inside and escape through the garbage chute if I remember correctly?”

“Right.” You said with a soft chuckle.

“Pretty sure that was the mission that made you a fully-fledged member of our squad, Wrecker couldn’t stop raving about you after that. I was almost jealous.” Hunter managed to joke.

You gave him a small grin at that before you turned off the datapad and properly took him in. “Guess you couldn’t sleep either?” You asked in a hushed voice as Hunter stepped further into the cockpit.

Hunter merely shook his head and sat across from you.

“Nightmares?” You figured as you delicately put the datapad back and sat in your seat once more.

“I prefer calling them recaps.” Hunter muttered dully as he sat across from you.

You reached for his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk more about them?”

Hunter shook his head. “You know and lived it all too and being here with you helps anyway. What about you?”

“Just a lot weighing on my mind.” You said airily as you brought your hand back to your lap.

Hunter made a small noise of quiet understanding. He hadn’t been expecting much more by way of a response from you.

“I don’t know how he does it.” You whispered in sad envy as you jutted your chin over to where Wrecker was sleeping soundly.

Hunter followed your gaze and sighed. “It’s the only way he can switch off. Especially in the early months, he struggled with remembering everything.”

“Yeah, any form of healing from all this won’t be easy.” You said with a heavy breath.

“Wrecker might be able to sleep better than we can, but he keeps a blaster by him and has his hand on it at all times. I don’t think he ever wants to be caught off guard again.” Hunter replied solemnly. “Moving on won’t ever be simple.”

You dipped your head in agreement and leaned back in your chair.

The minutes ticked by and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m going to be selfish for a moment, okay?”

You tilted your head at him and adjusted your posture to give him your full attention. “Okay…”

Hunter took another breath, his throat bobbing before he spoke, “You can’t leave me to wake up alone like that.”

It hit you immediately. Fuck, you’d been an idiot, of course you couldn’t do that. If he’d done that to you, you would lose your shit. How could you have been so stupid? “Hunter-”

“I had one night too many of waking up to a cold and empty space and worrying about where you were and what was happening to you. I can’t go through it again, I won’t. Not anymore.”

You’d been so wrapped up in your own head, you hadn’t even considered what that would do to him, but you should’ve known better, especially because your reaction would be exactly like his. You quietly stood up and closed the short gap between you to straddle his lap.

He accommodated you in an instant and his eyes fluttered shut as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” You soothed as you placed delicate kisses to his face whilst you moved your hands to rub up and down his chest, his sleep clothes warm and soft beneath your palms.

Hunter caught your wrists and tenderly caressed the scars left there as a result of what you’d endured in Cid’s parlour. “I barely lived through it once and I won’t do it ever again. I don’t care what time it is, if you’re up and struggling with something you wake me up with you. I’d rather that than wake up without you and have that pain and panic set it again. Promise me… please.” He begged, brushing some strands of hair back behind your ear as his eyes looked deep into yours.

You nuzzled into his neck and placed a gentle kiss on his pulse point. “I promise.” Your lips traced his jaw. “And you promise too.”

“I promise.” Hunter agreed and he tucked his fingers under your chin and brought your lips to his.

You had wanted to keep it short and sweet, but you soon found yourself physically incapable. One gentle nip from him on your bottom lip and you were done for. The kiss soon turned hungry and desperate. The two of you were consumed by a passion you’d had no outlet for yet, and you were getting completely lost in the moment. Your hands threaded themselves in his hair and you pressed yourself against him as he deepened the kiss and squeezed your hips to get you to subtly grind against him which were instructions you were only too happy to follow.

It was all over though when you felt his hands start to reach the bottom of your shirt and brush against your bare skin. Instinctively, you flinched away, and you crashed back to reality. You knew what marks you were concealing, and what he would feel if he lifted your shirt, and it wasn’t something he should have to see. “I- I can’t.” You panted against his lips. Your body yearned for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, not yet. Everything was still too fresh, and you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted to.

Even though his body burned for you, he’d never push you into this, but he wanted to share the burden of whatever it was that was tormenting you. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” Hunter murmured breathlessly as he glanced up at you.

You swallowed thickly. “I want to but-” You released a low, shaky breath. “It’s- it’s hard to talk about.”

Hunter stroked your cheek. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be right there.”

You pressed your lips into his palm.

“Come on, let’s try to get some rest. We’ll arrive at Nelvaan in a few hours.” He kissed your forehead before you got to your feet and the two of you made your way back to your bunk.

--

“Y- you’re supposed- supposed to be dead!” Kedrin exclaimed fearfully as he cowered behind the main counter upon seeing you standing in the doorway of his shop, the two clones on either side of your shoulders.

“You should’ve sprung for a better bounty hunter then.” You countered as you walked towards the store owner. “I have some questions for you.”

“No, I’m not dealing with any of you ever again!” Kedrin reached underneath the counter and pulled out a blaster and pointed it at you.

You stopped your advance and raised your hands in surrender. “Kedrin, I just need to talk to you.”

“Fuck you! You don’t get to use my name and talk to me like what you did to me was nothing!”

You internally cringed at the memory of what you’d put him through.

“Did you even know he was my brother?!” He shouted in anger. “Did you even care, you heartless bitch?!”

Hunter tensed beside you.

You lightly grazed his hand with your own to tell him it was fine but at the same time shame coiled in your gut. You lowered your mask and kept your voice low and composed. “Kedrin-”

“Stop using my fucking name, you never bothered with it before!” He then turned his rage to the clone that stood closest to you. “And you! I still have the scar from you!” He yelled at the clone on your right, the blaster in his hand still quivering as he aimed it between the three of you.

Hunter stood unwavering beside you and said nothing.

You saw how unsteady his grip on his blaster was. “You’re not a killer, Kedrin. It’s why you sent the bounty hunter after me in the first place.” You said as an attempt to talk him down but the Force around him was in complete chaos, the only emotion that had any kind of control was his anger and that was dangerous. You knew the kind of pain and wrath the loss of a loved one could unleash, and it was why you’d never wanted to put anyone through it in the first place but now you were seeing the impact of your mistake firsthand.

“You killed my brother you fucking bitch!”

You sensed him getting ready to pull the trigger. “Kedrin-” You ducked as the blaster bolt came straight for your head. You channelled the Force and took the blaster from his hand whilst Hunter and Wrecker used that distraction to advance and subdue him. They shoved his head and torso down to press against the countertop.

“Do you want one to match?” Hunter threatened as he reached for his vibroblade and held the sharp point just above Kedrin’s unmarked hand as he and Wrecker held him down.

“Hunter, it’s okay.” You said, pulling him back from that line the two of you had agreed to keep each other from as you saw the way his grip strengthened and the wince of pain Kedrin couldn’t conceal.

Kedrin kept looking for a way out of their hold but was proving futile. “She murdered my brother.” He whimpered as he continued some half-hearted attempts to free himself.

“You’re right. I did.” You approached him and crouched to meet his eyeline. “And it was a mistake that I’m plagued by to this day. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. I know you’d love nothing more than to kill me too, it would probably feel great but please, please Kedrin, don’t do this. It won’t end well for you.” You begged. When his resistance finally ceased, you turned your attention to Hunter.

“Give us a minute.” You said to Hunter, resting a hand on the top of his shoulder.

“But-” Hunter got ready to argue.

“Hunter.” You interrupted firmly and fixed him with a stern stare.

Recognising that tone and look in your eyes, Hunter released a disgruntled but compliant sigh and nodded to Wrecker to let him go. He holstered his blaster and sheathed his vibroblade before leading the way out.

As you heard the door shut, you stepped back from the counter to give Kedrin some space. “You have no reason to trust me, but I promise that I’m not going to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”

“You’re- you’re not here to kill me for the bounty hunter?” Kedrin asked warily.  

You shook your head. “There was a time where that’s what precisely I would do and I wouldn’t even hesitate, but you’re not the person I’m supposed to be hurting and neither was your brother. I know nothing I say will bring you comfort but I am not here to kill you. I only want to talk.” You said sincerely as you put your weapons to the ground and faced him calmly.

Kedrin massaged his right shoulder- which had been on the receiving end of a particularly harsh grip from the clone you referred to as ‘Hunter’- and narrowed his eyes at you. “What is it exactly that you want to talk about?”

“This.” You placed the lightsaber on the counter and unwrapped it. “Where’d you get it?”

Kedrin wasn’t buying that that was all you wanted to know about, you had to be here for revenge. “How do I know you won’t do some magic thing like you did last time?”

You released an irritated sigh. “Because if I was going to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t lie, I can’t leave here with you still intent on sending hunters after me or I will have to do some things neither of us will enjoy, particularly you. I will always regret taking yours away from you, it was never part of my plan to leave someone alone, but my family is still counting on me, and I can’t have anything messing that up. Please, leave us alone and I’ll never bother you again after this.”

Kedrin angled his head and regarded you inquisitively. His body was still filled with fear of being alone with you, but it was like there was a different person standing before him- you seemed genuinely upset and sorry; and that in of itself would be punishment enough- better you feel the guilt of what you’d done than have an easy out. “You’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met but for some reason, I believe what you’re saying. No more bounty hunters.”

You felt into the Force around him but there was no dishonesty or deceit. “The lightsaber?” You redirected his attention to the weapon on the counter.

Kedrin shrugged. “What about it?”

“Where did you get it?” You repeated impatiently.

Kedrin flinched at your tone and- not wanting to risk upsetting you any further- started wiping down some glass cases to channel his nervous energy and spoke quickly. “I’ve had it for a while, couldn’t tell you who gave it to me. Just that they were employed to be a part of the clean-up after your lot betrayed the Chancellor and found it and wanted a souvenir of the experience.”

You coughed and bit back the flurry of insults and threats that nearly escaped your mouth.

Kedrin, now so focused on his task that he was oblivious to your discomfort, carried on in a restless ramble, “Guess they ran into tough times during the transition period and wanted rid of it for some quick cash. No one really wanted to buy it though, it just sat there which was why I gave it to that bounty hunter.”

You felt your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you realised what this could mean for you. Leaving it behind had been an active choice to cut part of yourself off from the Force and now you had a chance to feel the Force flow through you as a single entity, no more jagged or disjointed connections… but you didn’t know if you were ready for that yet, it was too much to even comprehend. If it had survived everything and found its way back to you… did that mean that you could too?

“So, um are you going to pay for it?” He dared to ask but your sharp and cold glower had him gulping nervously and wringing his hands. “Uh, never mind, you can take it.” He said hastily. “Just let us be done with each other.”

You said nothing to him, you only covered it once more, picked up your other weapons and exited the shop.

--

“Everything okay?” Hunter asked as you emerged from the store.

“We were going to go get some supplies if you want to join?” Wrecker added.

“I need a moment. You guys go.” You said, giving Wrecker your concealed lightsaber and avoiding eye contact with them both as you hurried back to the Marauder.

--

Having found a moment of relief under the warm water, you got out of the shower and started to towel off and redress but as you pulled your tank top over you, you realised you’d left your long sleeve out by your bunk. You swore under your breath and only hoped the other two would take a bit longer on the supply run. You dashed out the door of the refresher and started to rummage through the bunk for it.

“Who did that to you?”

You whipped around to see Hunter stood frozen in the entryway to the Marauder. “Dammit Hunter-”

“Who did that to you?” He repeated heatedly, his concern and rage rising each second. The sight of the deep and cruel scars that disappeared from your upper back beneath your shirt to the rest of your back was engrained in his mind and any plans of waiting for you to come to him evaporated as his anger and protectiveness overcame him.

Wrecker stepped up beside his brother, put the supplies down and your weapon on a shelf. He nervously glanced between the two of you and it didn’t take an enhanced skill for him to pick up on the way Hunter was trembling with fury. “Eh, what’d I miss?”

Hunter ignored him and kept his eyes on you. “Who was it?”

You turned back around to grab your shirt and it was then that you heard Wrecker’s sharp inhale as he too now saw what it was Hunter had seen. You fiddled with the fabric, twisting it tightly in your hands. “It wasn’t like it was solely one person. Just forget about it.” You muttered aloofly.

“No, I can’t just forget about it. Who. Hurt. You?” 

You sighed heavily and half-turned to face the two clones. “It was a two for one special.”

“Don’t.” Hunter chided sternly. He couldn’t have you make light of this, not when he’d seen what you’d gone through now. He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore and, as awful as a part of him found it, he had to push you now.

There was no leeway in his voice, you weren’t going to be able to dodge and weave your way out of this conversation now. “Basically, it was both Imperial Stormtroopers and their higher command officers.” You swallowed harshly. “They- they worked together on this one.”

Hunter simply stormed away from you to the ship’s controls. “Wrecker, let’s get the ship in the air.”

“You’re going to go after every Imperial officer and stormtrooper in the galaxy?” You scrappily tugged your top layer over you and hustled after the two of them as they strode into the cockpit.

“If I have to!” Hunter growled.

“I’m with the Sarge on this one.” Wrecker agreed severely as he started to power up the ship.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but that’s not logical nor practical!” You argued.

“Don’t talk to me about practicality when they did that to you!” Hunter shouted angrily.

“It was my fault, Hunter!” You yelled back.

That caused both of them to pause and Wrecker turned off the engine.

“I did it to myself.” You said, your voice scarcely above a whisper as you braced yourself for the time you were about to relive.

“What are you talking about?” Hunter asked, his voice as quiet as yours now as he studied your face carefully.

“Before I tell you, I need you both to stay calm. Especially you.” You said to Hunter. You knew he wasn’t mad at you; his reaction had been exactly as you’d expected. His fierce protectiveness was a quality you loved about him, but it could be his undoing if he wasn’t careful. “And you need to know and accept that nothing would’ve changed it, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I acted in poor and emotional judgement and there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. Please, trust me on this.” You insisted with a pleading stare at him before you looked to Wrecker who- albeit hesitantly- nodded. You glanced to Hunter again who was still looking like he could take on the Empire singlehandedly. “Hunter?”

Hunter felt a keen sense of dread at your words, and it was highly likely he wouldn’t be able to view it quite as simply as that, but he allowed himself a deep and calming breath. He’d do this for you. “Tell me.”

You exhaled nervously and fidgeted with your hands. Realistically, you’d known you wouldn’t be able to go through the rest of your life without being found out or talking about it but that didn’t make doing this any easier. “I’m sure I don’t really have to go into how hard it was to find each other, right? I’m sure you guys had your fair share of failed leads and things were pretty hopeless for a while, yes?”

Hunter and Wrecker both nodded.

You took another breath. “Right, well, it was the same for me. During our time apart, nothing I did was getting me any closer to you and I could feel it draining me every day. Lyra and I arrived on Christophsis and decided to settle there but it didn’t help. No matter how hard I searched, no matter how much of myself I gave up when it came to getting what I wanted, nothing was bringing results, and I was angry. I was angry, frustrated and just miserable. And it was in that poor state of mind that I made a choice that I shouldn’t have.”

Hunter knew those emotions all too well and he’d get incredibly impatient and unfocused when they got overwhelming, but he’d been fortunate to have Wrecker around to pick up the load when it got too much. Yes, you may have had Lyra, but he knew you and how you operated, and you would’ve put it all on you, regardless of how exhausting it would’ve been and that’s what made him nervous as he awaited further explanation.

You shuffled your feet. “I was being a bit of a nuisance to the Empire wherever I went, Christophsis was no exception, but I was getting nowhere on the information front so, in my slightly unstable state, I figured the best way to find out about you or even Hemlock was to um well, find it straight from the source.”

Hunter’s heart skipped a beat. “No, no you didn’t.”

Wrecker looked between the two of you in confusion but then it clicked with him too and he stared at you, horrified. “Why would you do that?”

You swallowed thickly. “I thought that by handing myself in, I would be able to get the information I was needing. I figured they would have some form of intel on you I could use.” You huffed irritably as you remembered how foolish you’d been. “Turns out they were a lot smarter than I gave them credit for and they sussed out my plan pretty quickly.”

You winced as Hunter threw his helmet and it crashed against the wall. You expected no less but you needed to reign him back in if you had any chance of recounting the whole story. “That’s not staying calm.”

Hunter got to his feet and paced; his distress evident. “We were on your trail! If I’d been faster and picked our sources more carefully, you wouldn’t have had to-” Hunter seethed. How could he have failed you so badly? You’d put yourself through hell for their sake and if he had gotten to you sooner, you wouldn’t have had to have gone through this.

“Hunter, no.” You shook your head to stop him from putting the blame on himself. “The whole reason I did it was because the trail was running cold, and I was desperate. It was all on me. and I’m not done explaining this yet and it doesn’t get better, but you can’t do this. I understand and appreciate where it comes from, but it won’t help now, okay? Just let me finish it.”

Hunter clenched his jaw but did as you asked. He sat back down and nodded at you to continue but he was helpless to stop the anxious shaking of his leg.

You gritted your teeth as you prepared yourself for what you had to do next and any levity that you’d previously been forcing into your voice vanished. “Since they knew what I was and some of the general history between all of us, it’s like I said, they were aware of what I wanted, and they definitely weren’t up for giving it to me. They finally had me under their control, and they were very good at making sure I wasn’t getting away any time soon. Honestly, they were pretty creative with their methods and I’m sure some of them found doing what they did to me quite therapeutic.” That dismissive attitude slipped back in at the end without you meaning to. Frankly, you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the sharp and worried looks from Wrecker and Hunter. You mentally checked yourself before you proceeded.

“Where they showed their inexperience however was when they got frustrated at how little I gave them. I don’t think they realised how hard it would be to crack someone like me. Their fists, their whips, their electrostaffs… it all hurt but it wouldn’t get me to talk. So, they went for something different, and that was what got them quite close.” You stopped again and found yourself touching the small pinprick scar as you remembered the sharp sting and then the complete haziness that would follow that would render your completely susceptible to anything they would do and say. “Whatever concoction they’d inject into my neck when they got bored or too tired from physically hurting me was nearly impossible for me to resist and that was a terrifying experience... I was having to fight my own mind while they happily watched on. That interrogator droid would enter, and- and my body would go cold with fear every time.” You paused for a chance to gather yourself and squeezed your eyes tight to rid yourself of the memories of that dark, cramped room they would take you where you were helpless to their cruelty and the last thing you would clearly recall would be the whirring of that droid approaching you.

You took another breath before you continued to speak. “That was what came close to breaking me and they worked that out. Every day they would inject me with that serum to make me submit to their words and they would tell me you were right outside. They- they would tell me that I would see- see you all again if I only told them how much I knew about Omega and where I was hiding…. And every day I would have to remind myself that it was all a lie… that you weren’t there, and I couldn’t reveal anything since that would put Lyra in danger too.” You released a shaky breath. “Or they’d try to convince me that you were going through the same thing I was and- and it was my fault and to get- to get it to stop I would have to tell them everything.” You felt a lump form in the back of your throat, but you forced yourself to talk through it. “They could beat me all they wanted but that was the thing that actually left a mark… these scars merely came with the territory.”

A troubled silence fell upon the walls of the Marauder as you finished. You picked at some imaginary lint on your leggings as a way to bring your emotions under control.

Hunter felt sick to his stomach. He could’ve saved you or made it so putting yourself in that position would never have needed to seem like a viable option. You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. He’d let you down.

You caught a glimpse of his expression changing from anger to defeated sadness and he didn’t need to vocalise those thoughts; you were perfectly aware of what would be going through his head. “It’s okay.” You mouthed silently to him.

You shouldn’t be the one comforting him. A broken and anguished sigh left his throat. Okay? How was any of this okay? You’d subjected yourself to torture for them and had carried the burden of it by yourself for so long.

“How’d you get away?” Wrecker asked in quiet upset as he imagined you experiencing that.

You coughed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Truth be told, it gets a bit blurry near the end. I…” You trailed off and frowned as you worked on accurately recalling what had gone down the day you got out. You hesitantly started your explanation again. “I remember overhearing that they were going to send me off world to a high security prison and I couldn’t have that. The trooper who put the cuffs on me to take me back to my cell was a rookie, I think he figured I was unconscious, so he used the regular ones that didn’t restrict my Force-wielding abilities. Then the dizziness and blackouts set in, I remember finding the strength to take him out, but I don’t exactly know how I proceeded from there. The next thing I do remember was collapsing outside the door to where we were living and Lyra dragging me inside.”

“Hunter?” You looked to him since he hadn’t said anything yet.

Hunter’s throat had gone so dry, he couldn’t summon words immediately. All that was racking through his head was how he could’ve prevented this and how he should’ve been there to save you. You never should’ve been the one to drag yourself out of that hellhole. The protective part of him wanted to find a way for you to come up with any identifying features that could assist in hunting down those who’d inflicted that pain on you but despite all you’d relayed to them, he was calmer now and he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He may have failed you then, but he wouldn’t now. His focus now lay in what he could do for you now but there was an element to the explanation he was missing and once he had that, everything else could fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He murmured instead.

There was no accusation in his eyes, no pointedness or blame in his tone. You knew he just wanted to understand, and it was a fair question. “I was working on compartmentalising it; it was just going badly. And-” You stopped yourself from continuing and instead just started to back away. “Nothing.”

“And what?” Hunter pressed as he got to his feet and caught your hand before you could step away any further.

You shook your head. “It’s a stupid reason, I shouldn’t care about it.”

“Nothing you’re feeling about this is stupid. I might be able to help, you only need to tell me.” Hunter prompted tenderly as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

You regarded him carefully, attempting to find some deception or falseness in his tone so you didn’t have to say it but, unsurprisingly, you didn’t find any. You bit your lip before speaking, “I didn’t want you to have to see them. They’re- they’re not exactly nice to look at.” You muttered as you dipped your head to stare at the floor.

The fact that that was even cause for concern felt like a punch to the gut but at least there was something he could do about it. He may not be able to go after the Imperials like he wanted but he could help you realise that was a non-issue for him and one that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Wrecker, take a walk. I’ll be in touch when you can come back.” Hunter ordered his brother.

Wrecker wasn’t about to question him, so he did as he said. He rested a gentle hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Thank you for telling us.” He said before he left the ship.

You went to address Hunter, but he spoke first.

“Turn around.”

Your brow furrowed but you couldn’t deny the warmth that bloomed in your stomach at his words. “What?”

“Turn around.” Hunter repeated, his tone quiet but filled with dominance.

Despite your lingering questions as to what exactly it was that he wanted, you found yourself doing as he instructed. You could feel the heat in your stomach start to radiate throughout the rest of his body. Each steady thump of armour hitting the ground had goosebumps rising on your skin in anticipation and you felt him crowd your back and rest his chin in the space between your neck and shoulder.

Hunter kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear and as he felt you relax into him; he slowly grabbed the hem of your long-sleeved layer and lifted it over your head and dropped it to the floor of the ship. He didn’t let his eyes fall to the scars yet. Instead, he caressed the trail of goosebumps on your arms and continued to pay close attention to your neck, softy nibbling the areas that he knew would make you weak at the knees.

He could play your body so well; it was like the two of you hadn’t been parted for as long as you had been. You could feel yourself growing more and more compliant to his touch and desire coursed through your body. You only snapped out of it when you felt his touch go lower and he tugged the bottom of your vest top. You went stiff and immediately grabbed his hands in a panic. “Hunter, no. You-”

“Easy.” He soothed as he pressed delicate, featherlight kisses to the back and each side of your neck. “Trust me.” He rasped against your skin, but he waited for your signal.

You released a low, unsteady breath. You couldn’t live in this state of fear and shame forever. You trusted him with everything you had and that was why you felt yourself letting go of his wrists. Your breathing grew uneven, and your body trembled as you felt his bare hands graze underneath your vest top before, they held onto the hem of it.

“Relax… it’s okay. You’re okay now. Let me see.” He encouraged gently, only lifting when he saw you nod your permission.  

His gaze finally dipped to your bare back, and he had to fight to keep his breathing calm as he felt his heart shatter once he saw the full extent of what had been done to you. Your back was a map of merciless and vicious scars, and he wanted nothing more to take away the pain they’d caused you and inflict it on his own body. But that was the only effect they had. He was not repulsed, not repelled by the sight of them. They did nothing to ruin his physical perception of you. You were every bit as beautiful to him now as you had been when he first met you on Devaron all that time ago. “You’re exquisite.”

You refused to believe that. These were different to the scars you were both used to that came with the impact of battle and you were under no illusions as to how unsightly they were. You went to turn to face him so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at them and to protest his words, but he sensed that and beat you to it.

“These do not define you. They do not define my view of you. You are strong, you are capable, and you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why I love you.” He started to lightly touch each one. “No amount of scarring is going to change that. You. Are. Beautiful. I will be there to remind you of that whenever you need it.” He pressed his mouth to the space between your shoulder blades.  

Your body trembled under his touch and his sincerity threatened to overwhelm you. “Hunter-” You managed to choke out.

“I would tear the galaxy apart for you, if you wanted me to.” He hummed against your skin as he continued to trail his lips down your back, worshipping every mark that had been left on you so as to leave a new association with them now. “But I know that’s not what you need.”

A quivering breath left your lungs at his words and ministrations, and you knew you felt the same way. But it was because the two of you were aware of that line that your relationship worked so well- you could balance the sentiment with intent. You could feel him starting to make his way back up your back.

“So, what is it that you need?” He hummed into your ear before he placed his hands on your waist and sucked a mark over the tiny scar that rested on your pulse point.

You groaned and braced your hands on the wall that formed the entryway to the cockpit as you felt your knees buckle.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me and it’s yours.” He asked again as his fingers started to dip beneath the waistband of your leggings whilst he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

You knew exactly what it was, it was all you ever really needed. “You.” You gasped and you swore you felt him smile against your skin.

“You have me… always.”

You couldn’t hold out any longer, you turned around and crushed your lips against his with a groan and pushed him to the wall of the entrance to the cockpit. If he was taken aback by your abruptness, he didn’t show it as he matched your enthusiasm immediately, one hand coming to firmly grip your exposed waist whilst the other tangled itself in your damp hair, a desperate and eager noise leaving him as he got to feel your body press against his.

As you kissed him, your hands fisted his shirt and you pulled insistently but made no moves to actually step away to remove it, you were too addicted to the feeling of having him this way again… yet you needed to feel his skin against yours which is why you were thankful that he had enough willpower to separate himself from you and take it off himself.

The two of you breathed heavily and the air was thick with tension, but you were too focused on looking at what rested just past his collarbone. You hadn’t allowed yourself to check if he had held onto it for fear of what it could mean if it was gone, and your breath hitched. You touched the black leather cord and traced the small Jedi Order symbol on the end. “You- you kept it?”

“Of course, I did.” He softly uttered, if a little out of breath. He cradled your face in his palms. “What do I have to do to make you see what I see in you?”

Any answer died on your lips, and he passionately reconnected his mouth to yours, using your surprised gasp to deepen the kiss before he stepped away from the wall and started to direct you both down the narrow hallway to your bunk, muscle memory mapping the way as neither of you were content to separate to make the walk any easier.

A trail of clothes was left in your wake as you made your way to your bunk.

Hunter gently laid you down, his lips never parting yours before he patted your hip to get you to be on your front.

You still found yourself feeling reluctant. His beautiful brown eyes were laden with lust but there was also a deep and devoted sense of care behind them which was why you complied with his request. You trusted him.

Hunter went back to what he’d done earlier as he left delicate kisses to every scar that donned your back. What you endured was something no one should ever have to but what he could do now was make sure you knew that you didn’t need to hide them for the sake of other people- especially him- any longer. “You never have to worry about these. All that matters to me is that you’re here now, you got away, and you will never end up back there. More scars don’t have the power to change how I feel about you, nothing does. I love you for all that you are.” He planted a kiss to the base of your spine before he got you on your back to face him.

Hunter wiped away the salty tears that had escaped your eyes and nudged the side of your nose with his. “I love you. Always.”

“Always.” You repeated hoarsely as you were overwhelmed by the emotions that came crashing to the surface. You stroked back the smaller bits of hair that frequently slipped past his bandanna. 

Hunter kissed your cheek before leaving a trial of kisses along your jawline whilst his hand slowly made its way down your body to rest between your thighs.

Your legs parted for him on instinct and your hips bucked into his touch and a soft moan left your throat.

His voice took on a low purr as he moved his fingers. “Here’s how this is going to work: I am going to tell you everything that I love about you which you are then going to repeat and… if you don’t…” He stopped and took his hand away as he saw that familiar expression on your face, and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged the edges of his mouth as that expression turned into an affronted pout. “I stop.”

Your eyes widened at the very clear implications of what he had in store for you.

“Or this doesn’t have to go any further and we stop now.” He offered sincerely.

No, you didn’t want that. It had been too long, and you needed him like your lungs needed oxygen. You could do this. You nodded your consent.

Hunter angled his head to press his lips against yours before he started to move his fingers again, hungrily swallowing your appreciative gasp. He kissed you passionately, not in any rush to stop right now. He parted from you and took a second to appreciate the throaty sighs that left your mouth at his actions, the way you bit your lip and the slight wrinkle on your brow as you grew closer to your release. He’d missed being able to see you like this, but he was relishing the opportunity to relearn and do all the things that made your body contort in pleasure. “You’re beautiful.” He exhaled in complete awe.

You were so caught up in the pleasure radiating throughout your body that you had already forgotten his plan and you were too put out by the feeling of your climax fading away to recall where your side of the bargain came into it. “Hey-” You cut yourself off as you saw the expectant expression on his face and then you remembered what you had to do to get what you craved but that doubt was still there, and you felt awkward doing it. However, the reassurance and trust that also rested on his face saw to it that you did as he said. “I- I’m beautiful.”

 Hunter bowed his head with a supportive smile before he carried on, the sound of your groan was like music to his ears. “Despite all that’s happened… all that we still have to do… you always find a way to make me smile.”

You were in a state of total euphoria and therefore failed to fully comprehend that he’d said something else. It was only when you felt him pull his hand away and the emptiness that followed that brought you back to the current situation. With a whine, you spoke again, “I- make- make you s- smile.” You ground out as you moved your hips in tandem with his touch as you chased your high.

He let you have your first climax, pausing to let you come down from it. Once your breathing evened out, he went again and kissed you before muttering against your lips, “You’re smart.”

“I’m- fuck.” You were too distracted by seeking the next release you were longing for to remember to respond, and you cried out in irritation as he stopped just before you reached it.  

“Almost.” He crooned into your ear.

As frustrated as you were, you got your bearings and whispered, “I’m smart.”

“Good girl.” He praised, a grin on his face as your breath stuttered at his words, before he continued, curling his fingers in the way he knew would send you over the edge and sure enough, your hips lifted as your release crashed over you and a gratified moan sounded from you. However, he didn’t stop, he worked you through it and said, “You’re caring.”

The process got easier and began to feel more natural. You slowly started to understand that clinging on to that part of your past had made it impossible to fully come back. Keeping yourself hidden and refusing to acknowledge what you’d experienced had made it difficult to fathom that he could still want you this way but each affirmation from his, as silly as you’d initially felt at doing what he said, was helping cement the idea that you may not be able to change or fix what you’d gone through, but it didn’t have to control you anymore. You had a partner and family that loved you and who you adored and would do anything for. You would get through this and now you were beginning to feel like you could do it. You felt yourself believing what he was telling you. A whimper left your throat, and you could already sense that you were hurtling towards the edge again, but you repeated it. “I’m c- caring.” You said through panted breaths as you coped with the overstimulation.

“You’re doing so well.” He encouraged as he kept to his word and continued to touch you. “You’re strong.” He knew he was repeating himself, but they weren’t words he minded reiterating, and he needed you to know and believe it too.

“I’m strong.” You said breathlessly as your hands curled into the blanket beneath you as that feeling overcame you again.

He saw you through your next peak and took his hand away to give you a rest from the stimulation and simply stared at you and the blissed out look on your face. He had it committed to memory, but it never ceased to take his breath away every time.

You gathered yourself enough to smile at him. “Thank you.” You whispered as you lightly followed the shape of his tattoo. You clasped the back of his neck and attempted to pull him towards you, but he worked his way out of your grip and instead kissed the hollow of your throat before kissing his way down the rest of your body. Your head fell back as you realised his intent, but you had thought it would be time for him to take what it was he needed.

He could help the groan that left him as he finally put his mouth on you. He could get drunk off the taste of you, and it had been too fucking long since he’d had the chance to do so, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

You couldn’t help the way your hands tangled in his hair and tugged him closer to you, his appreciative growl sent shivers down your spine, but you were so sensitive, and you didn’t think you could manage another one. “Hunter, I can’t. Just-”

“One more. I know you can.” He encouraged desperately as he planted a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking a bruise into the skin, before he went back to where his attention was demanded. He needed you to fall apart on his tongue, he was addicted to it, every drop of you, every whimper that sounded from you was like his own personal drug and he would never tire of it. “You’ve been such a good girl… done everything I’ve asked for… just give me one more, sweetheart.”

That did it. Your back arched and you finished with a ruined and exhausted moan. You were completely spent but it felt so good. You barely registered him to come rest beside you, his lips pressed against your temple.

“I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so proud of you.” Hunter murmured into your hairline as he stroked up and down your side.

You regained enough feeling in your limbs to turn on your side “What about you?” You queried, still struggling to catch your breath. You knew you would be sensitive but your overwhelming longing for him swiftly outweighed any concerns.

Hunter slowly shook his head as he brushed his lips against yours, taking them away when you went to deepen the kiss. “This was always about you.”

With each passing moment, you were gaining more clarity over your faculties, and you knew what you had to do. A seductive smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and your hand snaked down between you both.

“What-” Hunter inhaled sharply as he felt your hand wrap around him, and his jaw clenched as he fought the urge to thrust his hips into your touch. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“You said this was about me and what I need, right?” You hummed as you rested your forehead against his whilst your hand kept moving. You kept your touch teasing but just enough to drive him crazy.

“R-right.” Hunter said through a strained breath as he felt his restraint leaving him with every second you continued to touch him.

“And what I need is to feel you…” You brought your lips close to his, barely any space between you now. “Inside me.” You kissed him, tugging his lip between your teeth whilst your free hand entangled itself in his hair, the actions eliciting the depraved groan you had been looking for, and before you knew it, you were back on your back again with Hunter kissing you with a newfound fervour which you matched in kind. You wrapped your legs around him and drew him closer to you, smiling against his lips at the surprised huff that escaped him.  

Hunter kept kissing you as he started to guide himself into you. He knew you would still feel tender and was careful as he slowly moved into you, both of your breaths catching at the feeling. His head fell to rest in the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there before he soothed the sting of it with his tongue as he started to move, heavy grunts and pants leaving his lips as he got absorbed in feeling you this way after all this time.

Your nails dug into his back, and you could feel the muscles flex beneath your fingers and a sensual sigh left your lungs as you finally felt all of him.

One thought crossed your mind amidst the fog of pleasure that was spreading over your body. You’d let go of your fear now and you wanted to look for that connection again. Before, it had marked a level of certainty of your place here and overall mindset and if you couldn’t find it after all that had happened, there was a time where you would’ve been sure that it would mean there was no true way back for you. But now you understood that wasn’t and didn’t have to be the case. If it wasn’t there, you could work to get it back.

You used the Force around you to find his unique signature again and you could’ve wept with joy as you sensed it once more and it welcomed you with open arms. It had been waiting for you. You bridged the gap between you and allowed that feeling to flow through you. I love you.

Hunter paused his movements, and he stared down at you, a shocked but delighted cry left his mouth as he saw the broad and affirming smile on your face that told him he hadn’t imagined it. He’d wanted to have that back for so long and his heart soared as he realised what this meant for you. You weren’t holding back anymore; you were officially home.

You stroked a thumb along his cheekbone before clenched around him in an attempt to get him to keep going, a smug hum of laughter leaving you at the almost pained expression on his face as he got himself back under control before he started again.

“Do it again. Please.” Hunter requested frantically as he felt himself approaching his own release.

You smiled affectionately at him and continued to kiss him as you saw him through to his climax. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He finished with a strangled groan, and he collapsed on top of you. He stayed there for a few moments before he gently pulled out of you, stroking your hair as he saw you slightly wince at the action. “I’m sorry if it was too much.”

You shook your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” You reassured him as he laid down beside you and held you close to him. We should clean up.

Hunter made a sound of acknowledgement as he pressed his mouth to the crown of your head. “What made you do that again?”

“I let go.” You said simply before planting a chaste kiss to his lips before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the refresher. “Come on.”

--

“What are you thinking?” Hunter asked as he watched you pick up the wrapped lightsaber from the shelf Wrecker had put it on. You hadn’t touched it since taking it from the bounty hunter.

“I can’t hold on to or fear the past anymore. We can only look to the future now and that future has us getting Omega back. And…” You uncovered the seemingly harmless looking weapon. “I think this will make achieving that easier.” You reached for it, hesitating for just a moment before you picked it up and it was an instant reaction. You took half a step back as the sensation of feeling that connection you hadn’t encountered for years threatened to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past as a youngling and echoes of previous battles and instructions from your master sounded in your head but it wasn’t scary this time, you were merely remembering the periods where this weapon had been your life.

Hunter placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You took one long breath. “Yeah. It’ll just take come getting used to, but it’s going to be worth it. I’m not hiding what I am these days, may as well have the whole image.” You said light-heartedly.

Hunter cupped your jaw and kissed you gently, both of you sighing contentedly into the sensation before Wrecker’s hesitant voice echoed through the comms.

“Um, Hunter… I hope I’m not interrupting eh anything now but um I was wondering if I could come back? I’ve started to wander in circles and I’m getting some suspicious looks.”

The two of you chuckled.

“Poor guy.” You said with a humorous shake of your head.

“Yeah, Wrecker, head on back and we can get outta here.” Hunter replied through his comm.

“Wrecker, how’d you fancy having an excuse to shoot at me?” You said into your comm, and the intrigued but excited cheer told you your answer.

“Shoot you?” Hunter repeated, titling his head at you inquisitively.

You grinned as you clipped your lightsaber to your waist. “Yeah, how else did you think I was going to train?”

--

“That’s 15 to 11!” Wrecker whooped as you came to after his stun blast hit your back.

Fuck you. You jabbed playfully as you accepted Hunter’s outstretched hand. He tugged you to your feet.

“You’re lasting longer.” Hunter commented supportively and- knowing you would want to go immediately again- walked away to take up his position.

You wiped the dirt from your clothing and removed your mask to take some deep breaths and find your centre again. Taking on jobs, following leads, mediating and lightsaber training… that was how you balanced your time; you were feeling more like the person you had been before your world had been torn apart. You’d never be able to be her again, but you could own who you are now and allow yourself to feel the emotions you’d been struggling against without suffocating in them anymore.

“But still not long enough!” Wrecker goaded. “I’ll always be in the lead!”

You didn’t take the bait. Instead, you took off your armour, gloves, and long-sleeved top.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair.” Wrecker protested.

Hunter turned inquisitively and his breath hitched. A soft sheen of sweat graced your skin and your body rippled with strength and untapped potential… and fuck did it make his heart skip a beat and his blood run hot. He was grateful his helmet was still on because the way his eyes widened would’ve given you too much material to work with right now, but he wasn’t able to hide the way his hand slightly fumbled as he unholstered his blaster. He wasn’t embarrassed by finding you attractive in this way, the frequent teasing he’d often received for it just made it harder to focus on the task at hand.

“The training stays the same and my strategy is my own. It’s not supposed to have an effect on you anyway.” You retorted with a smug grin as Hunter’s reaction went exactly as you’d anticipated.

“You better not mess this up for us, Hunter.” Wrecker warned as he shoved his brother’s shoulder to snap him out his reverie.

You laughed to yourself as you watched them. You picked up your lightsaber and ignited it, the blue blade thrumming at your side, and you felt that rush of connection and security. Having a blaster by your side was nothing compared to this.

It was a powerful sight that Hunter never got used to and quite frankly, part of him was relieved he’d never come across you as an official Jedi General during the war because if his reaction to seeing you train and work towards unlocking whatever you had been tampering down for so many years was anything to by, he would’ve gotten himself shot a long time ago- half your earlier victories came from redirecting his own stun blasts to him.

You got into your stance and faced the two clones as they readied their blasters. “Alright, let’s go again.”

<Previous Oneshot

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @starwarsnerd111, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

[the-fat-raccoon]

🌌 astro-gnomey Follow

Some of you don't want to hear it but at some point we're going to HAVE to acknowledge the effects of storm sorcerers (and keiromancy as a whole) on the environment. The wizard council has been pushing for regulations on these practices for years due to its large ecological effect on the realm, and yet it still stays unregulated because of misinformed petitioners who insist on preserve this harmful practice.

x x x

🌬 420haz3it Follow

hey ops ex here. they literally went through my family's tome of spells and destroyed every page that contained keiromancy. spells that were in my family since the Wizardry Renaissance, that saved towns from floods and droughts alike, are now lost to time and space

also as people in the notes pointed out all of those links are blatant misinformation that ignores what storm sorcerers have done to protect not only their local communities but the environment as a whole for centuries, and the people who spread this information are the exact same people who advocated to repeal the wishing star protection act.

hating keiromancy has always been a distraction so astrological mages can push for more unsafe practices in their own field. don't let them lie about their intent, and don't let the wizard council rush the process to earn an astromage liscense.

🪄 tradmage12 Follow

Being from a family of storm sorcerers puts a direct line from you to the Great Calamity that wiped out our magic for a millenia. You deserve to lose that tome and every last spark of magic in you.

🌬 420haz3it Follow

what

🌬 420haz3it Follow

theres no way youre serious. you dont actually believe that.

🪄 tradmage12 Follow

We all know it, the Great Calamity would have never happened if the sorcerer faction had listened to the wizard councils orders and steered clear of dragon hunting. But they didn't listen, and everyone suffered because of it. Don't act like there's no reason to not trust your kind with their own practices. You just can't help yourselves.

🌌 astro-gnomey Follow

I leave for the Berry Harvest and come back to this mess, really funny how you'll mention me taking action against your family's evil dark spells but don't mention that you only dated me for your weird gnomeplay fantasies. Also pay attention to the language used, very Anti Mage rhetoric being spread. What else would you expect of a storm sorcerer, of course they want to keep their powers, I'm going to shut off reblogs if people in the notes cant see how they're being manipulated by keiromancers. Quit trying to be 'progressive' when you just want to keep ruining the course of nature and keep down the mage class.

🌬 420haz3it Follow

get me off this fucking lichsite. there is no 'anti mage rhetoric', that's not a fucking thing. mages aren't some repressed class no matter how much you want to pretend that, they haven't had to deal with magical restrictions since before the great calamity even happened, meanwhile sorcerers to this day are still fighting to be seen as magical equals.

and while im at it 'keiromancers' is a made up term to put all weather magic users under one umbrella, as if forms of keiromancy arent so diverse amongst the realms that you cant even begin to compare them. it is not the same as saying necromancers. dont even start that bs.

also, gnomeplay is perfectly normal and acceptable between consenting partners, which we were, so idek why you bring that up. if i as a half elf want to have gnome partners theres literally no issue with that, youre mad because gneillielle has a more bountiful gourd harvest and far more whimsical tunes than you ever brought to our relationship.

storm sorcerers have done nothing wrong, you're the problem.

perhaps some shadow work could unlodge the staff youve got stuck up your cap and you could see the filthy fuckign system youre supporting as an astromage, im sick and tired of this.

🎱 claire-vances-fourth-eye Follow

op starts posting untagged wizard council x reader failed abjuration content in a year btw

5,482 notes

[riskyalt]

I'm going to write this now as I'm watching the goodbye stream, to add my two cents and whatnot.

The community has always been a huge part of the project, if we put the actual server aside for one second. The fanart, fanfics, headcannons, theories, comics, analysis, videos, memes, all of it was just as important as the actual players and server happening. The community was as much the lifeblood of the project as the actors involved were, and for that I can give a big thank you to all of you in the QSMP tag reblogging and creating under QSMPblr. I've adored each passing moment here - that including the rougher eras because as a community I've seen very measured responses from people truly passionate about the purpose the QSMP was there to serve - to unite communities.

As I'm watching Quackity talking about the fact that even if the QSMP as a project has ended, his desire in bridging cultural and language gaps is still present and something he wants to continue creating for. So yes, even if the server is currently ending, what has been achieved will forever be present. I'd never even thought that I'd be in a community with so many different nationalities who are not afraid to express themselves in their own languages and cultures, and especially I'd never thought that I'd be eagerly waiting to congratulate mutuals on their national holidays and things like that. In that, it's made me want to get closer to my own culture since I've never really properly grown up where I come from and I think that is something to be cherished.

I'd never thought I'd rekindle my passion for language learning and now be able to watch videos and streams in Spanish to understand the majority of what's being said and laugh along in chat, nevermind that same passion being rekindled or created for thousands of others. We have so many languages here and it's insane to even think about isn't it? People in the community that speak: Portugese, French, English, Spanish, German, Korean and probably more! I've been trilingual for the major part of my life, and have known Italian really well for a long time on top of that, but the QSMP as a whole has opened up my perspective on language like I'd never thought anything could.

THAT BEING SAID. Thank you to the creators involved in the project. It was clear to me as early as from the first days - before the translator - when the creativity and passion of the creators broke through those initial barriers and helped form the meaningful connections we find today. The roleplayers that created stories and characters very near and dear to me are absolutely to be praised, personally, I'd say q!Cellbit, q!Roier and q!Etoiles are my favourite characters to come out of this and those that I will keep creating and blogging about. Every character that came out of this is incredible though, everyone even down to Jorgito the IV drip and Posolito the capybara are utterly, indisputably, definantly: peak. Im greatful to the duos or groups that have emerged thanks to the translator and opportunity, just a few examples being: Cellbit and Roier, Badboy and YD, Pierre and Maximus, Etoiles and Phil, Missa and Phil, Cellbit and Baghera, Tubbo and Pac, etcetera! All of these connections between CCs were really entertaining to watch, and all due to the QSMP.

ALSO THAT BEING SAID. Thank you to the actors behind the scenes doing as much of a part as the streamers themselves. The eggs were all absolutely wonderful as NPCs and breathed life into the server like no other. All of them, all portrayed such different characters with realistic personalities and struggles that to me have always been stupendous at staying in character at all points. Lullah, Chayanne, Richas, Tupperware (Dapper), Patitas de cheto (Bobby), Leo, Tillin, Juanna, Trump, Chunsik, Em, Pepito, Sunny, all of you eggos have made the QSMP an unforgettable experience, and you admins deserve to get recognition. Massive thanks also go to the designers, writers, actors and managers behind the project as well, just as important in keeping the server running and fresh in how it was.

General thanks to the project for achieving what it has. Uniting communities, creating an incredibly story and characters, opening mine and other's eyes to more diverse cultures, rekindling passion for language learning and just so much more shit I could talk about for hours. This server has been an incredible ride, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving it completely.

Of course, the QSMP was by no means perfect and I'm not trying to make it out to be. It has it's issues and I'm completely aware of that. I think the impact and beauty the server has had is something to be celebrated regardless because it's something on a scale not done before.

I'm still going to be here, posting and creating about this SMP even after it closes. I'm still gonna be here posting silly clips and making long posts like this one that will maybe get 5 notes - but that's fine with me. I'm proud to be part of this community and experience as a whole, since Day fucking 1 - and I regret none of it. To all the people I've met over this thank you so much for being the people you are, keep creating and learning.

Thank you, QSMP, QSMPblr and Quackity Studios.

[findafight]

In my on going journey to find a fic where Jonathan and Nancy at least talk through if not fight about how Jonathan has been treating and lying to her, and the way she was looking at/flirting with Steve in s4 I have found that, with the majority of these few fics, Jonathan’s choice to not tell Nancy is framed as him being noble or making a sacrifice for her. That he is breaking up with her to avoid making her miserable.

This is fascinating to me because while I now think they should for sure break up, I went into st4 pretty neutral on jancy, and thought everything Jonathan was saying was cowardly. I think HE thinks he’s making some noble sacrifice for Nancy’s sake, but he is not letting Nancy know about it nor is he letting her decide what she wants (to stay with him or to breakup) based on the actual facts of what Jonathan is doing/will go for college. He’s just. Letting her wonder why he’s being avoidant and distant, worrying about weather he loves her still (which is partly why her eyes wonder in s4).

Jonathan isn’t breaking up with her. The whole point of his rant to argyle is that he ISN’T breaking up with Nancy. He’s avoiding her so he doesn’t “trap” her. He’s already lied to her about applying to the university she thinks they’re going to together and so he barely talks to her and starts they are in a “slow-mo breakup”. It seems like he is avoiding talking to her in the twisted hope that she breaks up with him, because he cannot bear to do it. He’s already trapping her in this relationship he’s so terrified of.

Nancy does not know what is going on in his head. All she knows is her boyfriend is avoiding her. Cancelling plans or calls. To the point where she thinks there is a possibility (however small) he might be cheating on her. That’s not a good place for a relationship to be! Why would she think what he has done is admirable and self sacrificial when she has been suffering due to his actions and choices and the assumptions he’s made about their relationship and future without asking her? Why would she feel he did what he thought was right when she has been kept in the dark and lied to, openly, and mislead about their supposed shared future plans? When he was too nervous to talk to her plainly about his worries and fears so instead let them dictate how he treated her.

Jonathan cannot be open and honest to Nancy because of his fears, but also because of that same fear he doesn’t rip the bandaid off. He cannot be the one to breakup with Nancy because if he is, he is definitely the bad guy. If he breaks up with her, he shatters any semblance of the idea that he is in the right, that he is making a sacrifice by not letting Nancy hypothetically make one. And he doesn’t want to examine himself or his actions that would make it abundantly clear what he’s done wrong.

By forcing Nancy into a position where she is unsure of the strength of their relationship, where she doesn’t have all the information to actually make the decision about the future he assumes she will make (that she is actually unlikely to make) he is doing what he fears he would be if he was honest about college. Trapping her in a relationship where they eventually grow to resent each other.

And idk. Im honestly surprised this isn’t a more widespread assumption? That Jonathan is being cowardly for lying? But it isn’t? Posing Jonathan refusing to communicate with his girlfriend as noble while she has actively questioned his loyalty to her, seems kind of cruel to Nancy. Sure maybe she hasn’t communicated enough to him, but has he let her? He is making these assumptions and decisions that impact their future together and he doesn’t discuss it with her because he doesn’t want to ruin her life (or, more likely, either remain in a LDR or get broken up with, the latter seeming more likely every day he lies.) That seems cowardly to me.

[fruitbasketball]

lol Caitlin has used her platform to shine a light on all the black women who pioneered the sport, and actually done so by name, unlike Paige who made a vague statement one time and has never spoken up again

and idk where you get she’s entitled, it seems like all she’s ever wanted to do is win a championship which is what every player in college wants to do. she doesn’t seem remotely concerned with personal accolades, unlike other programs overly concerned with their player being NPOY despite not actually earning it

oh rightttt like that time they asked her on national television if race played a factor in the media’s treatment of her versus their treatment of angel reese and she… didn’t answer the question, right?

or the time that sheryl swoopes (one of those black women who pioneered the sport) was being attacked by her fans, and caitlin blocked everyone on twitter reminding her that her fans are racist? she did a great job shining a light on black women then!

i just feel like we watched different espys speeches, because i remember a 19 year old paige bueckers getting on national television, recognizing that she’s a white woman in a black led sport, and NAME DROPPING black women who deserved/deserve media attention, like maya moore and odyssey alexander, as well as speaking out against police brutality by mentioning breonna taylor.

and maybe we’re a little new to this and we don’t know ball, but if you’ve been following women’s college basketball for the past 4 years, you would know that instance is not a one off, because paige has been speaking out for the black community for years.

what y’all aren’t realizing is that racism is not just calling her teammates slurs or saying she hates black people or shit like that - it’s a refusal to acknowledge that racism exists in the first place.

and don’t play fucking dumb. by entitled i mean the whole “im caitlin clark give me that whistle”. fuck outta here w that ‘npoy but hasn’t earned it’. lisa bluder consistently touts that she has “the best player in the country” or “in the world”. i know that’s a dig at geno, so let’s get one thing fucking straight: paige is the best player in america. and when you have 11 fucking rings, you have every right to get up on a presser and say that. you might not think so, because your very narrow minded view of the game probably cleared the rest of the stat sheet except for points. paige came back from a fucking acl tear and she’s still a first team all american, and she’s a wade and naismith trophy finalist. she fills the stat sheet in every single thing except turnovers and personal fouls, and she does it on ridiculous efficiency. she makes her teammates better, and dawn staley herself has said she’s the most elite player to ever play the game.

do not piss me off with this bullshit

[geminibsworld]

fingertips- t.b

chap: 2

warnings: smut, cussing, drinking, smoking, & infidelity

⭐️this is hella long SORRY⭐️

*

priscilla had been avoiding mike all day. she felt guilty. flirting with his best friend? bad. wanting to fuck his best friend? also bad. she had a boyfriend, a perfectly fine boyfriend, priscilla really had no complaints other than sex. sex isn’t even important, she loves mike so she doesn’t mind. they have intimacy, romance, respect, and excellent communication. what can be worse? nothing, that’s why she’s so mad at herself. mike is perfect in her eyes, she loves perfect things. she works hard to view herself as ‘perfect’ and mike is already perfect to her.

but tom? he was a mess. so chaotic, all over the place, careless, reckless, doesn’t care, the list goes on. those things annoy her unbelievably so, she couldn’t stand to be with someone like that. the fact that she was responding back to him that night? made her feel disgusted. she didn’t even reply back to his text. she hated the way he talked to her, treated her, existed around her.

she felt so conflicted that she avoided not only mike, but tom. even in the classes she has with tom, of course, she could feel his eyes on her. they basically burned a hole into her. she hated it, the way it made her body feel. that was different. she felt.. turned on. she wanted him, physically. to the point that she’s touched herself every night soaking her sheets to him. that’s the main reason she felt disgusted, the way he talked to her made her feel dizzy and warm.

the bell rang signaling class was over, she grabbed her bag and sprinted out the door. she was speed walking towards the doors, pushing past some.

“priscilla!” she recognized that voice, she wanted to throw up.

she pushed past the glass doors. cursing to herself as she hears a shout again. she was annoyed, she had been avoiding both tom and mike all day. but now, the avoidance is over.

“priscilla? hello?” tom’s voice is next to her ear, she groans loudly. she can hear tom let out a laugh.

“why are you ignoring me?” he asks, his brows furrowed. she looks at him, scoffing. he raises his brows at her, a small smile now on his lips.

“why do you think?” she snaps, looking around making sure no one was around. tom shakes his head, messing with his hair.

“oh maybe, because i said some things and you actually responded back?” he asks, quietly. priscilla’s cheeks burn, she could feel herself blushing. she cleared her throat, avoiding eye contact with him. he laughs, she internally is screaming.

“i knew it,” he laughs, “she’s embarrassed.”

“oh piss off,” priscilla yells, turning and looking at him.

“i have a boyfriend, and he’s your best friend asshole,” priscilla hisses pointing a finger at his chest, tom looks down at her. for the first time ever he looks annoyed, he’s holding his jaw in this way that makes him look likes he’s got something to say.

“you’re a bad person for going after me. your best friends fucking girlfriend, do you know what that makes you? a terrible, terrible friend. what if i told mike, huh? you’d be done, you’d be over with. do you know how happy that would make me?” she seethed, tom stares at her his eyes never leaving hers. she was so angry at him, of course she was just as guilty and maybe that’s why she was so mad.

“you’re an asshole tom, a genuine asshole.” she said, her voice hard cracking like she was about to cry. tom looks away for a split second before he starts speaking.

“im the asshole, huh? you were responding. edging me on. you never ONCE told me to stop, besides your weak ass reply, something the lines of ‘i have a boyfriend’ or whatever the fuck you said. you are just as guilty as me. you’re an asshole to,” he snaps, her eyes widen at him. anger and anxiety coursing through her making her feel like she was about to cry. he stares at her, before his eyes fall to her lips back to her eyes.

“fuck you, tom.” she says, dryly. she turns around to walk away before tom grabs her wrist pulling her into a kiss.

she gasps, she bumps into him as his hands cup her face. kissing her in a way that makes her knees feel weak, he kissed her with desire and hunger. she felt dizzy, her hands grab his uniform tie pulling him closer as her hands grip his hair tightly. the kiss felt so electric, her body had shock waves all through out her body. she could feel herself melting into his body as his hands roamed her body. his hands gripped her waist, pinching at the skin. she suddenly felt conscious all the sudden, her eyes snapped open and pushed herself away.

tom and priscilla both breathing heavy, chests heaving. she clears her throat, trying to regain her breathing. tom shakes his head laughing a bit.

she looks over at him, she couldn’t help but admire him. his lips a darker pink, his messy brown hair even messier. she thought he looked so attractive, the messy after kiss look was definitely his look.

he looks at her, her cheeks pink, her lips swollen and puffy. her glasses fogged slightly, she smoothed down her shirt. he couldn’t help but want to kiss her more.

“you’re an asshole,” she speaks, softly. tom nods, before walking up to her again.

“you kissed back, and look at you now. you want more,” he says, his brows raised slightly with a amusement in his voice. unfortunately he was right, she was fighting the urge to kiss him. she wanted more, so much more. she imagined what it was like kissing him, and it’s so much more than just a kiss. she knew she was wet, she was turned on. no wonder why girls love kissing him.

“oh, fuck off. you’ve done enough.” she sneered at him, rolling her eyes beginning to walk towards her house. he follows after her, jogging slightly.

“i clearly haven’t, you’re still being a cunt.” he spat, she turned around. she clenched her jaw, and marched up towards him. they were in the middle of her yard now.

“fuck you fuckhead,” she seethed, flaring her nostrils slightly. tom rolled his eyes, a smirk slowly revealing itself.

“nice one, genius,” he scoffed, she takes off her backpack and shoves it in his chest. he grabs her bag, letting out a small ‘ugh’ he sets it down by his feet.

“yeah because you’re so fucking smart?” she snaps, her fists balling up at her sides. he glances at her fist, and steps closer. his scent invading her senses, she took a deep breath her eyes flutter shut before she stares at him again. his face doesn’t look upset, she knows he’s going to try something.

“yeah i am, going after my best friends long term girlfriend? priscilla, you’re so angry. know why? because you need to be taken care of.” he says, his hands reaching for hers. she looks down at his fingers gently grab her wrist, she gulps quietly before looking back at him. he nods, almost like reassuring himself before talking again.

“let me be the one who takes care of you? please? mike doesn’t have to know. we can be bad people together,” he says, softly much more gentle than before. priscilla groans, yanking away from him. her eyes meet his, suddenly she wants to kiss him again.

“please- just go home,” she said, she was tired and done with this. done with him. done with all of it. she leans down to grab her bag, she begins to walk away. as she reaches the porch, she turns around and he’s still there his hands in his coat pockets.

“go. go home tom,” she says, reaching for her keys in her coat pocket. she looks at him, seeing him nod and walking away.

her stomach hurt, she entered the home. she chewed her bottom lip, anxiety making her shake. she threw down her bag in the chair before she jogs up to her room.

*

she danced on mike, grinding into him as his hands lay on her hips. the music vibrating the room, lights flashing, sweaty bodies everywhere. she felt like she was on cloud 9. she was so drunk at the moment, she just felt so good. she moved her hips back into his crotch, his hands occasionally gripping her tighter than normal.

some 2000’s song played surrounding everyone, priscilla was pretty drunk and she missed mike also. after everything that happened, she needed a break. she never goes to parties so when mike invited her, she agreed. mike was actually surprised that she agreed but he was happy. priscilla thought about the kiss all day long, she couldn’t help it. she still felt like her lips were tingling now, several hours later.

“babe!” mike shouts in her ear, she looks up at him from the side slightly moving her ear closer.

“i’m gonna go get us more drinks okay?” he shouts again, she nods smiling as he walks away in the crowd. she continued to dance, in her own little bubble. she twirled around and shook her hips to the music. she closed her eyes letting out giggles as she bumps into someone.

“fuck! i’m so sorry-“ she starts, sorry written across her face before she looks at tom. his hair was messily flat on his forehead, he was holding a red cup probably filled with liquor, the cup looking so small in his hand. he leans in closer to her.

“oh. it’s you,” she groans, tom lets out a laugh throwing his head back slightly. priscilla begins to walk away before tom reaches for her, grabbing her wrist her mind flickered to when he did this earlier. pulling her close so they could hear each other.

“never seen you so… relaxed? have you been drinking ma’am?” he asks, with a teasing tone. she can’t help but smiles as he begins to smile with her.

“i had a bad day, so yes sir, i have been drinking,” she laughs, winking at him. he raises his brows, and he begins to chuckle at her.

“are you having fun?” he asks, taking a sip of his drink. she grins, nodding.

“so much fun, i guess i should ask if you are?” she says, he shrugs smiling slightly.

“it’s nothing new,” he laughs a bit, shaking his head slightly. her eyes glance to his hand, he had such big hands, never had she wanted a hand as necklace so bad till now.

she then glances back to tom, his eyes were on her. watching her, he seen her look at his hands. she didn’t feel embarrassed this time, in fact, she wanted to see how far she could go with this. mike was going to be back- she began to wonder about mike. where the hell did he go?

“you okay?” tom asks, furrowing his brows. she nods looking around, not seeing mike.

“i’m okay, did you see where mike went? he was supposed to get me a drink well the both of us drinks.” she asks, trying to peak around everyone. not seeing much due to her height obviously, tom begins to open his mouth before looking around.

“i don’t see him,” he says, his face showing worry yet something else lingered. she couldn’t read his face, that bothered her. he was normally expressive facially anyways.

“you saw something?” she asks, yanking him a bit. he shakes her off, grimacing before his face changed to amusement.

“i didn’t see anything- how about we go get drinks together?” he asks, she nods. he places his hand on her lower back walking slightly in front of her. his hand felt warm against the thin fabric, so warm she felt like her skin was burning. she loved the feeling at the moment.

they reach a table by the kitchen. bottles on bottles on the table, every type of liquor that anyone could think of was probably there. plus several other shooters, including soda, juice, and energy drinks.

“what do you want?” he asks, extremely close to her ear. she shivers, looking over the options.

“whiskey and coke?” she asks, biting her bottom lip hiding her smile. he gives a half smile before grabbing the two drinks and mixes them together pouring them in a purple cup then pouring another in another cup.

“here you go, gorgeous,” he smiles, handing her a drink. she rolls her eyes, a playful smile on her lips. she grabs the drink from his hand, their fingers graze slightly and she wanted to burst into flames.

“shut up, big nose,” she laughs, taking a sip. he laughs, looking down shaking his head.

“do you not remember what doja cat said about big noses or are you uncultured?” he asks, bumping his arm into hers. she chokes on her drink, looking at him wide eyed. he laughs, before placing a hand on her back slightly smacking her back. she coughs, and looks at him again. she regained her breathing tom stared at her almost concerned.

“did i knock the wind out of you with that one?” he says, before throwing his head back giggling. she groans, taking a sip again.

“dude, i hate you,” she laughs, quietly. he raises his hands up in defense smiling.

“no you don’t, quite the opposite kind of?” he makes a face of confusion, before laughing slightly. she stares at him, scrunching her nose up.

“here, follow me,” he reaches a hand out to her, she hesitantly grabs his hand. he pulls her into a hallway, opening up the bathroom she slowly entered. he lets go of her hand, closing and locking the door. she watches him taking a drink again, before hoping on the sink counter. she kicked off her heals, got comfy on the sink.

“i do hate you, ya know.” she says suddenly, he looks at her making a face. he waves her off, shaking his head.

“no, no you don’t,” he says, shrugging. she sits up slightly, he stands only a few feet away from her. she could still smell him.

“you don’t, you might not like me but when we kissed earlier. i don’t know, feels like you’re hiding something,” he says, nonchalantly leaning against the counter next to her. she scrunched up her nose shaking her head brushing her hair behind her ears.

“think whatever you want, but remember i have a boyfriend,” she shrugs, “plus, you kissed me,”

“you kissed back pri,” he says, the nickname causing butterflies to appear in her stomach. she’s never been called a nickname like that before.

she smiled softly, grabbing her drink and taking a sip. he looks at her, she meets his gaze.

“i did, but it was a mistake tom,” she says, looking away down at her feet. they swung as thoughts anxiously ran through her mind. she wanted to kiss him again, she couldn’t help it. his lips were soft and plump. his mouth had tasted like mint.

“was it such a mistake?” he asks teasingly, turning to look at her with a boyish grin on his face. she clears her throat, grabbing her drink downing her last swig.

“yes, it was and you know it to,” she says, stern.

“oh come on, really you’re being this way?” he says, his voice dry. she shrugs, before rolling her eyes. she hopped down from the counter, and began to grab her heels from the floor.

“yeah. i am because my boyfriend who just so happens to be downstairs probably looking for me so im going to find him,” she says, slipping on her heels and reaching for the door.

“you won’t find him,” he says suddenly, priscilla looks at him making a face.

“what do you mean?” she asks, raising a brow at him. he sighs, placing his drink down. he looks at her, she crosses her arms giving him a stern look.

“i saw him leave with another girl, when he was getting your drink,” he sighs, she laughs. he almost looks shocked at her laughing.

“you don’t believe me? i saw them, remember you even asked me?” he says, pushing himself off the counter. her heart thumped in her ears, she didn’t want to believe him, but she still felt anxious.

“you’re pathetic,” she says, scoffing. he puts his hands up in a defensive way.

“i’m just saying, some blonde girl walked out with him, and isn’t it funny how we didn’t see him at all?” the last part came out sarcastic. she scoffed rolling her eyes.

“sure, tom, sure. like id ever believe you anyways. mike would never cheat on me. he loves me.” she responds sarcastically grumbling the last two sentences.

“oh, like you love him? remember we kissed. you cheated on him remember and you’re supposed to love him.” he says, crossing his arms a smug look spreading on his face.

“fuck you tom, you’re an asshole.” she spits, scrunching her nose up. she unlocks the door and walks out of the bathroom. the music still louder than ever, and lights flashing, but all she could think about was the fact that what if mike left?

she turns a corner, peeking around trying to look for mike. she doesn’t see him, or anyone she recognizes at all.

she makes her way through the crowd heading for the front door, she grabs her jean jacket and putting it on before opening the door. her hot breath causes a vapor to come out of her mouth. she shivers slightly, reaching for her phone.

her-

hey. where did you go?

she stared at the screen, when the message didn’t deliver she began to worry. she chewed her bottom lip anxiously, picking at the skin on her lip.

she decided to call him, the phone went straight to voicemail. she began to feel more anxious then ever before. what if tom wasn’t lying?

“hey, it’s cold out here.” tom spoke, opening the door and stepping out behind her. she snapped her head to look at him.

“yeah,” she mumbles, she continued to try and send the message over and over.

“is that him?” he asks, peaking over her shoulder. she pursed her lips.

“yep.” she says flatly, she turns off her phone. she felt sober now, sober enough anyways. she was beginning to get upset. her boyfriend left without her? he was her ride?

“do you need a ride home?” tom asks, looking at softly.

“i guess i do need a ride home,”

*

it was sunday. the night after the party, and she still hasn’t heard from mike. she hoped he wasn’t just going to ghost her, which would be stupid because they had been together for a year, but mike was never the talk it out type.

her phone vibrated next to her, she picked it up quickly and answered it without even knowing who it was.

“mike?” she asks, she heard shuffling on the other line.

“no- it’s tom- wait you still haven’t heard from him?” he asks, confused.

“what? yeah, no haven’t heard anything thing. have you?” she asks, sounding hopeful.

“no, my calls go straight to voicemail, also i’m coming over,” he says, she shuffling again.

“what? no?” she says, grabbing a big t shirt to cover her shorts. she puts her phone on speaker as she slips the shirt over her head. it falls right below her shorts.

“well, i’m here so let me in,” he says, then hanging up. she groans, throwing down her phone and rushing downstairs. she opens the front door, and sees tom in a hoodie and sweatpants.

“why are you here?” she asks, annoyed. he smiles at her.

“well, good morning to you too,” he grins, sliding past her. she slams the door shut, and crosses her arms in front of her chest. he turns and looks at her. taking time to admire how simple, yet angelic she looked. her long dark hair, and hazel eyes. pale as snow skin. make up still smeared around her eyes, but in a way that it didn’t look like raccoon eyes.

his eyes travel down her body and couldn’t help but notice her legs. her thighs were the most exposed he’s ever seen. the shirt barely covered her, he pictured her curves under her shirt. he wondered what she would look like naked, a lot actually.

“stop checking me out, and answer me,” she snaps, he shrugs putting his hand in his pockets.

“i don’t know, just felt like i should come over. we can watch your favorite movie or something. i just felt bad about last night,” he says, looking around before giving her a small smile.

her face softened. she was worried about mike. he never does this. tom was trying to be nice, she rolled her eyes playfully.

“fine,” she mumbles, before walking towards the stairs. she glanced at him, he smiled before following her up the stairs.

his eyes wondered of course, he thought her shirt covered nothing, but so did her shorts. she walked up the stairs, he couldn’t help but watch the shorts ride up as she walked.

they approached her room, before she opened it. he’s never really been in her room before. the walls covered with music and movie posters. fairy lights hug around her room. her dark curtains keeping the sunlight out of her room, then his eyes went to her bed. it was covered in blankets and pillows.

“i like your room,” he says, glancing around. before taking off his shoes and sitting on her bed, making himself at home. she chuckled watching him, before grabbing her remote and turning on netflix.

she turned on the murder documentary she’d been meaning to watch. she brings her remote into bed with her. she climbs in next to tom, they were so close she could feel his body heat and smell his cologne he always wears. she felt immediately drenched in him.

“you watch these?” he asks, pointing a finger at the screen. she smiles and nods.

“they’re my absolute favorite thing to watch on days where i can do nothing, i typically watch them by myself. mike hates murder documentaries, he says they’re creepy.” she laughs, returning her eyes to the screen.

the two sat in silence watching the documentary for about thirty minutes. she was kind of leaning on him, and he didn’t mind. in fact he wanted her closer. he adjusted his position slightly, moving his arm around her yet not touching her. he glanced at her, he admired her bone structure. to him, it looked like she was sculpted from the gods.

her phone vibrated, she reached for it pulling away the cold air touching her skin. she turned on her phone.

mike-

sorry babe. got sick and left last night. hope you got home safe.

she sighs, rereading the text over and over.

“everything alright?” tom speaks up, she turns and looks at him and turns off her phone.

“yeah. mike said he got sick and left last night,” she says, tom scoffs next to her.

priscilla frowns at him. tom lets out a small laugh, and sits up. priscilla now facing him sitting cross cross, stares at him.

“what?” she asks, raising a brow at him. he rolls his eyes, a smile creeping up on his face.

“you believe that shit? also really shitty of him to be like ‘hope you got home safe’ like what?” he scoffs, priscilla rolls her eyes.

“he does get sick from drinking sometimes,” she shrugs, tom shakes his head beginning to stand up.

“you’re so stupid,” he scoffs, priscilla cocks her head at him disgust written all over her face.

“excuse me? i’m stupid? the fuck?” she spits, following after him. he stands up, and she scrambles to stand up getting off the bed.

“yes, you are stupid. he’s clearly lying to you.” he snaps at her, she puts her hands on her hips. a stern look on her face. his nostrils flaring slightly.

“oh like you’re lying to him?” she snaps, tom shakes his head scoffing.

“please. how am i lying if i haven’t even said anything or he knows?” priscilla wanted to punch him so bad at the moment.

“you don’t have to say anything you’re lying to him. you kissed me, remember?” she crosses her arms over her chest.

“and you kissed back.” he states, staring at her sternly. priscilla lets out a deep breath.

“okay. what’s your point? we’re both not innocent.” she says, nonchalantly.

“so, you’re ’technically lying’ as well.” he spits, she scrunches up her nose. she puckers her lips before chewing anxiously on her bottom lip.

“i don’t want to lie to him anymore that i have, tom.” she says, softly. he frowns down at her.

“what do you want then?” he asks, moving down to her height slightly. she looks down at her feet. her thoughts race through her mind. she wants to kiss tom again, but yet thinking mike and what if he was lying to her?

“i want mike,” she says, looking up at him. her hazel eyes meeting his blue ones. he nods slowly putting his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“i want you,” he says, she stares at him. her lips fall open slightly, before she closes her mouth into a tight lipped expression.

“i don’t want you tom. i want mike,” she says, sounding sure of herself. tom takes his hands out his pockets, taking a step towards her.

his cologne invaded her senses, she felt like she was falling under his spell. he stares down at her, she tries to hold eye contact. she can’t, she’s looking at him, past him, around her room, everywhere but him occasionally.

“are you sure?” he asks, softly. his gaze searching her face. she feels nervous. her heart was thumping in her ears. his hand reached for her hip, she tried to fight him off but it was weak. her hands pushed against him, as he pulls her close. her hands keeping a distance between them. he leans down to her height, before whispering into her ear.

“why aren’t you fighting this?” he asks softly, she shivered. he lets out a quiet chuckle. she chews her lip nervously. both of his hands on her hips now, he sits up to his full height.

“look at me,” he says, she looks up at him finally holding eye contact. his eyes bore into hers.

“you make me feel insane,” she says, finally. tom peers at her carefully. his hands on her hips distracting her, she removes his hands from his chest dropping them to her sides.

“in the worst… and best way,” she sighs, he raises a brow at her a smirk creeping onto his lips.

“tell me more, c’mon,” his thumbs rub into her hips. she lets out a deep sigh, and looks down. she purses her lips and grabs his hands on her hips and pulls them away from her. he frowns at her, and she takes a step back.

“i really can’t do this.” she says, meeting his eyes. he nods slowly, trying to understand.

before he can even respond, her bedroom door opens. tom looks towards the door as priscilla spins around, her eyes widening and her cheeks turning pink.

“mike? you’re here? hi?” she says, trying to muster excitement. he grins at her, grabbing her wrists pulling her into a tight hug.

she hears shifting behind her as tom begins to leave, mikes arms brought priscilla comfort yet it still bothered her about tom. what could’ve happened, what she wanted to happen.

[strwbrryeyes]

can u do daichi and/or tsuki x tennis player! reader who plays singles (1v1 instead of doubles which is 2v2 lool)? hcs or fic would be fine :3 esp w a reader who hurt their wrist mid season n is rlly frustrated bcus they can’t play until next season unless their wrist gets better bcus that happened to me <//3 (i play anyway even if my wrist is shit bcus i love tennis; daichi would scold me so bad for it too <//3) thank uuuu, i think u mentioned exams (or finals idk the difference) in ur latest posts so i hope they went well!!!

𖦹°｡⋆ Wristache and heartache (daichi x reader)

⟡ cw: angst, reader has an injusry and feels hopeless, comfort, fluff, lmk if i missed anything

⟡ a/n: i dont know anything about tennis. im alos bad with titles.

Daichi Sawamura had always admired your dedication to tennis. As the captain of the Karasuno volleyball team, he understood the love and passion that athletes carried for their sport. Daichi also knew the importance of listening to your body, something you seemed to be struggling with ever since you badly injured your wrist.

The injury has been a big  setback and it was starting to take a toll on you. The season was in full swing, and you were supposed to be playing singles matches, something you were no doubt the best at. Yet here you were, on the sidelines, forced to sit out due to the sharp pain in your wrist. You couldn’t even try to step foot onto the court during games or team practice because your coach had made it clear: no matches until you were fully healed and cleared by the doctor and although this decision was the right one and a necessary one, it still left you feeling frustrated and heartbroken.

Despite the pain and coach’s orders, you couldn't stay away from the court for too long. Every day after school, you'd find yourself at the community center’s tennis courts, practicing your serves and forehands, wincing occasionally when the pain shot through your wrist. You knew it was risky, but tennis was your entire life and ticket to a scholarship for university. You couldn't afford to be away from it for possibly the rest of the season. However, your secret trips to the tennis court were short lived.

Daichi watched you from a distance one afternoon, his brows furrowing with concern. He had come to pick you up like he has been for the last few day, but seeing you push yourself despite your injury was beginning to worry him more than usual. He approached you slowly, hands in his pockets, trying to find the right words.

“[name],” Daichi calls out with a firm voice that had a hint of worry “we need to talk.”

You looked up, surprised to see him there. You hadn't expected him to come this early. "Hey, Daichi. Just give me a few more minutes. I need to work on my backhand." You said before turning back to throw a tennis ball into the air until Daichi took the tennis racket away from you.

Daichi shook his head, his expression stern. "No, we need to talk now. You're pushing yourself too hard. You need to rest."

You sighed, frustration bubbling up inside you. "I can't just sit around and do nothing, Daichi. Tennis means everything to me. If I don't practice, I'll lose all I’ve worked for these past three years!" you say as you snatch your racket back from him.

He walked over to you, taking the racket from your hand gently once again and setting it aside. "And what good is practicing if it only makes your injury worse? You won't be able to play at all if you don't let your wrist heal and then that’ll make you feel worse!”

"But what if I never get better? What if this is it for me?" Tears of frustration welled up in your eyes as you shout at Daichi.

Daichi's expression softened. He reached out, cupping your face in his hands. "You will get better but to do so, you have to be patient. I know it's hard and the last thing you want to do right now, but sometimes the best way to keep going is to take a step back and heal. I'm here for you, and I am sure your team is too. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I just miss it so much, Daichi. I feel so useless." You leaned into his touch, finding comfort in his words, allowing you to let a few tears roll down your face.

"You're not useless," he assured you, his thumbs brushing away your tears. "You're one of the strongest people I know. Strength isn't just about pushing through pain, it's also about knowing when to rest and take care of yourself."

You nodded, his words sinking in. "Okay," you whispered. "I'll try to rest more."

Daichi smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "That's my girl. And don't worry, I'll make sure you stay out of trouble."

You chuckled softly, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "I'm counting on you."

The following weeks were a test of your patience but as promised, Daichi kept a close eye on you, making sure you followed the doctor's orders and rested your wrist and the rest of your body, making sure you were fully relaxed and at ease. It wasn't easy, and there were days when you felt like giving up, but Daichi's support helped you stay strong the whole way through.

He'd often join you at the courts, not to practice but to keep you company as you watched your team practice while you were on the sidelines. He'd even bring his volleyball team along, turning your forced downtime into fun, supportive gatherings as everyone loved their captain’s sweet girlfriend. It wasn't the same as playing tennis with your team in the moment, but it reminded you that you had a strong support system no matter where you went, and that made you feel so much better about this tennis break.

Slowly but surely, your wrist began to heal and you started feeling better. The day you were finally cleared to play again was a moment of pure happiness, not just for you, but for everyone who had supported you through this slump and setback.

As you stepped onto the court for your first match back, you looked over to the sidelines where Daichi stood along with his own team, cheering you on with a proud smile. You knew you couldn't have made it through without him. 

And as the match started, all you could feel was happiness, determination, and most importantly, thankful for your loving boyfriend who was there for you every step of the way because without him, you aren’t sure you would have made it through these last few weeks.

With Daichi by your side, you can do anything.

[thenightfolknetwork]

im worried i might have ruined my friendship with my best friend?? we've known each other since we were little and we've always been close, when i got turned he was the first person i told and he's been SO supportive. he's a member of the community (though he wasnt turned, he was born into his genus) and he introduced me to all his creature friends and really made me feel welcome.

but then, here's the thing. we were hanging out the other night and i guess one thing led to another and i kind of ended up…. feeding on him. he asked me to!! he was really into it and so was i... at the time.

but the next morning…. idk it was just weird. everything was so awkward. we havent spoken about it since and i dont know what i should do. i dont mind if he doesn't want to do it again - it was fun, but not fun enough to ruin a friendship over. only now im worried we might have ruined the friendship already… what should i do??

I think you may be jumping the gun here rather, my dear. I don't see anything in your letter to suggest that you've already ruined the friendship. This is certainly a complicated and delicate situation, and you will need to navigate it with kindness, honesty and respect. But it is navigable, and I have every faith in your ability to find a way through.

Feeding on another person is naturally a very intimate experience. This is especially true when one feeds for pleasure rather than need, as seems to have been the case here.

But intimacy is a part of friendship. Who you speak to about this problem or that, who you share this secret with, who you hug upon meeting and who you kiss on the cheek, whether or not you feel comfortable sharing a room or a bed – these are all questions of intimacy, and are an ordinary part of any friendship.

The details of this situation are, of course, different. The physical intimacy of direct feeding is compounded by the emotional intimacy of being so open about your liminal nature, all mixed up with the profound importance this friendship has for you. But the basic steps are the same.

Take some time to reflect on your own feelings. Give yourself permission to be entirely honest. It's alright that you enjoyed yourself. It's alright if you'd like to feed on your friend again. And it's alright if you don't! There are no correct answers here – only honest ones.

Once you're clear about what you want, you need to talk with your friend. Arrange a time to meet somewhere that you'll both feel comfortable, and let him know what you want to talk about. This isn't the sort of conversation you want to spring on someone without warning.

From there, you need to listen carefully and work together to find a way through. It may be an awkward conversation, but better one awkward conversation than letting your silence swallow this friendship entire.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[ganondoodle]

I am sorry to hear that the depression has stolen your spark.

I want you to know that you are the sole reason I gave Skyward Sword a chance. Your art was so beautiful and compelling that I just had to know about the media it came from.

Your art introduced me to an incredible community that years later, I am still benefitting from. Your art was the gateway, and I've always been thankful to you for that.

I hope your spark realights, and I hope you can kick depression right in its ass.

i- i did that????? qoq

yes im reviving old reaction pictures

i hope im not ruining the mood bc .. this legitimately made me tear up and i kept thinking of this ever since receiving the ask-

but bc i cant keep my mouth shut (i apologize if you are already well aware of all this i just .. like to talk i guess), i ... idk i have said this before but i feel incredibly conflicted about demise (am i allowed to like him??? do i even like him when i changed him so much??? am i a fraud fan????) and the game he comes from, i .. dont actually like skyward sword that much, or, not as much as it may seem like (my favorite is windwaker, second is botw), every now and then i even feel guilty for demise being my blorbo tm- as much as i love him im under no illusion what his introduction to the series did, the games lore is not .. great, it seems to have kickstarted the decline of the series writing and completely torpedoed any sort of fandom discussion by making zelda a literal reincarnation of the good tm gods of love and light and peace and everything good tm uwu and pit her against an evil demonnnnn that just crawled out the earth one day (??) and was only evil and bad and dark and hate incarnate an hated the good tm gods bc hes jsut so eviiiil, it gave rise to the utter dissmissal of any sort of ganondorf related discussions (funny how it only seems to apply to ganondorf, and none of the other villains hmmmmmmmmmmmm) bc, while not confirmed confirmed (though the fandom likes to pretend that), hes now widely seen as a reincarnation of demise and thus, doesnt need nuance or be given any grace or thought bc apparently when you say someone is a demon (or its reincarnation, which i dont believe ganondorf is, to be clear) that means its fine to not give them any thought bc demons are just evil tm and thats ok and good writing actually (wat????)

(if you take skysw as canonically how it all went down bc my interpretation makes it all be a fabricated lie so the gods can play their little games, there is no godess reincarnation, that was a lie to make way for an opressive kingdom belivieing itself to be irrevocably good no matter what they do etc)

it also cheapens any of the past entries, all of them have been flattened by this, why disscuss ganondorfs motivation lol, he just be a demon/demons puppet, zelda could never be wrong or do bad things bc she literal incarnation of goodness uwu etc- (and then totk, only the second game after skysw, retreads its points and makes it even worse while ALSO trampeling over that game imo)

i dont like saying it, but i do feel a little alienated even from ganondorf fans (i love him too!!!!!) bc they hate demise, and rightfully so, it feels weird having your main blorbo be the reason your second fav is constantly done dirty, why you cant even talk about anything critically bc 'iTs jUst a sIMpLe fAiRytALe' now and part of the reason the lore in general has gone to shit, and i dont know how much i can talk about that before i become an obnoxious 'well ACTUALLY my blorbo, who is the reason for all this, is ALSO done dirty and im gonna explain away the bad stuff via my completely noncanon reinterpretation-' guy, or if i already am what im doing with destiny is like .. my way of trying to fix it and make it interesting again? though at this point i guess im falling into the category of people who change their blorbo so much that there really isnt anythign left of the og, which worries me alot, though i wonder if thats even possible given how little there is to him in the first place, i so often see viral posts that make me feel guilty or conflicted for the way i work with media, "actually my blorbo did all those crimes and thats good you all who need to explain away the bad things are weak and annoying!!" "people who change their favs until they barely resemble the character anymore should just make an oc instead!!"-

i dont know if i take these types of posts too literally, i dont know when or how they apply, but it always circles around in my head, i know not everyone can like what you do, but i want to work with the material i have in an interesting way, not a puritanical way (or however you call that), its not in my mind every second, but it nevertheless makes me doubt what i do with my fanworks anytime i talk about them-

... this wasnt really the point of the message was it ... apologies, i hope not every ask will devolve into a sort of mini rant ;__; i dont mean to invalidate what you said, (and im not saying skyward sword is all bad, its full of charm, from characters to designs, just the lore is .. damaging) it is incredibly touching bc me or my art having a positive impact on people blindsides me every single time like "WHAT??? IMPOSSIBLE you MUST be thinking of someone else, no way i could do that", when something gets brought up my thoughts just kinda start pouring out, i thought about deleting everything i wrote, but then felt like that wouldnt be as genuine anymore (i am not normal tm after all and im long past a point pretending otherwise) and have wasted another hour for nothing, so im gonne leave it in and hope, pray even, it comes across correctly

q-q

[ehh-is-the-name]

I ENTIRELY disagree with your statement that cobs and mephone are one in the same. They just arent!!! they arent!!!! it's comparing a person who Was Abused to their Abuser. And i think thats really dangerous, especially because cobs did things knowingly and out of ill will and is absolutely manipulating suitcase and knife in his speech to them, but also because mephone literally has/had no fucking idea he created the contestants.

theres something wildly different between creating a fantasy UNKNOWINGLY where everything goes your way (kinda- i'll yap about that later) and you have your contestants and your show where you can be the perfect host you always wanted to be!!... And creating Sentient Beings (who you know are sentient) and sending them off TO WAR only to physically and emotionally abuse one of them when he comes back with Only ONE of the children you sent him to steal. like. Fellow mephone apologist, he's not really that bad!!!! there is hope!!!

Back to the whole. 'everythign goes his way' thing- A key difference between Cobs and Mephone to me is that Mephone, not even knowing he created the contestants, doesn't force them to do anything. He's kinda... dumb? like, let's be real, his biggest threats come up to 'you'll be kicked off the show' and yada yada... Like. take Marshmallow.

He (UNKNOWINGLY) created marshmallow to be on HIS show. But when she chose to leave... he didn't stop her. And yes, he knew she left because of his confrontation of mepad where he expressly asks him 'why did you let marshmallow leave?' Mephone 100% KNEW. but he didn't stop her (nor apple, for that matter) from going off and starting a life of their own.

MEPHONE DOESN'T WANT CONTROL OF HIS CONTESTANTS LIVES.

Yes, he's a jerk, YES, He's absolutely terrible to his contestants sometimes, and YES, he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

BUT. He's not anything like cobs-- at least, not where it matters.

Cobs tried to kill mephone, multiple times, when mephone tried to start his own life. Mephone views his contestants as real, sentient people- Cobs doesn't! He sees the contestants as toys, if anything... And he sees his own creations as tools. Valuable tools.

So like. what im trying to say. Is uhhh sorry for yapping so long and i hope you have an awesome day!!! I've just seen this whole Mephone=cobs thing going around and it gave me a headache SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU DEAL WITH IT </3 but i do hope thsi was informative!

First off- LET'S GO I LOVE II DISCORSE THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING THIS IS WHAT COMMUNITY'S ALL ABOUT!!

Anyway, I will say, that I'm giving you a hug and crying into your shoulders for bringing up the marshmallow thing- I completely forgot about it even though we literally just saw her again (I think it's pretty clear that my priorities are ALL over the place).

Rewatching the scene I get what you're saying.

I'mma be soooo fuckin honest this scene went right the fuck over my head, and by that, I mean I didn't know if Mephone was being genuine with his confusion or fuckin' anything actually. When I say ii 16 has killed me and left me rotting in a gutter, I'm so serious. Mentally I am in a gutter and your ask has at least rolled me back on the curb so I can breathe air instead of sewer water.

Literally reading your thing has made me remember other posts I have seen and taken to heart about this phone, like examples A and B. (They're both tumblr analyses that are kinda outdated 'cause of the bombshell but still pretty good imo). Mephone DOESN'T want to control the contestant's lives and, although he can be a dickwad at times, he still cares about them. Though is that just because they're his OCs in a way? I-

I say all that but I'm also like, I don't want to be completely throwing away everything Cobs is saying just because I feel ill every time he talks. You right, it's very clear that this whole thing is heavy with the manipulation but fuck man I think I'm just easily manipulated... I'm being so serious when I say I lost what hte fuck I was typing in the middle of this and I don't think it's coming back to me. I rolled back in the gutter, sewer water is my home I fucking guess.

Anyone who's listening to me at this point- I don't recommend it I actually don't know what the fuck is happening. I think I still have it in my head that Mephone knows about the whole "making the contestants thing" which makes it hard to fully embrace what you're saying. I should clarify tho:

Mephone and Cobs aren't the same, but the things he's indirectly picked up from Cobs (because of his abuse) are presenting harder than I thought originally. And I think that's what I really meant when I wrote the note. Or at least, that's how I feel now. It's been a couple days since I wrote the stuff in the blockquote. That's the best way to explain how I feel about the Mephone = Cobs situation—yes, but genuinely, in all honestly, no they're not the same.

And do not be ashamed of ranting, really, we love it here. Plus, my friend called this the 9/11 of inanimate insanity and yeah there's a lot of fallout and theories rn. Perfect time for discourse 'cause we're all going through the wringer.

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

feeling rly unsafe 2day, but it's specifically bc of being a trans guy, i keep seeing stuff from cis women abt how men r always the worst and how men hav a duty 2 make their lives revolve around women or else we're sexist, how apparently men need 2 all b willing 2 lay down their lives 4 any woman or else we're just as bad as the creeps who make ppl feel unsafe 2 go out at night and yes i said people not just women but they only want 2 acknowledge it when it's a cis woman that's the victim

i did not fucking sign up for this

i did not fucking sign up 2 sacrifice my life either literally or thru dedicating my life only 2 others just because the pronoun "he" fits me better than the pronoun "she"

i should not hav 2 worry that im an inherently bad person because of being a gay trans man

i should not hav 2 worry abt being perceived as a threat bc of being a queer man of colour

i've honestly started to hav thoughts abt de-transitioning not bc being a guy in the way i am doesn't fit me but rather out of fear of the scrutiny every action of mine will b placed under

i was sexually abused as a child but i guess that doesn't matter anymore because im a man now, boys don't cry they punch ig, apparently since im a man now it means im destined 2 become that which hurt me

all i want is to be a man, in a nonbinary way yes but still a man (demi-guy), i want to love men who love me back, i want to live a quiet life surrounded by love and happiness, i want to live a gentle life

but no.... because im a man now then apparently it must make me predatory in some way

i can't de-transition... i know i wouldn't survive emotionally... so i stick with it, with allowing myself to be a demi-guy.... but it hurts knowing that me being free is perceived as dangerous, that im seen as inherently a threat to women

edit: so a terf started clowning this post, just 2 make this shit clear, this is not a fucking debate blog this is a me posting abt my feelings blog, i would've thought the url "my-traumacore-sideblog" would've made that clear

also no racism and sexism is not the same thing

yes women face oppression at the hands of men and should be allowed to talk about it but men also face oppression at the hands of women and should be allowed to talk abt it, 4 men who r not in a minority group this is usually in terms of legal stuff (how r*pe is legally categorised, custody disputes ect) but this is even more of an issue and more every day when it comes to men in marginalised communities, yk like me, yk like what i was venting abt in my fucking post i should b allowed 2 talk abt my own oppression 2 and acting like me venting abt my own oppression in a post tagged as a vent post on my vent blog makes me the same as my white oppressors is not only terf shit but also racist and it shows a lack of political literacy, a woman has just as much capacity 4 violence as a man but a queer man of colour is seen as inherently violent and a white woman is inherently seen as always being a victim but ur ok w/ these white women using that power of perceived vulnerability 2 call 4 violence against queer men and men of colour and especially queer men of colour just say u want cis women klansmen and leave im not backing down from talking abt my own oppression bc of white woman tears

anyways person who clowed is now blocked so don't bother trying 2 respond 2 my edit