#do actual writing exercises instead of just jumping right in

[swugarbunnyy]

♡ My ultimate anti binge and getting through fasts advice. The order doesnt mean smth is more or less important. Mwah.

1) Water. Even if u hear this a lot, water is what u literally going to need for this. And im talking about actually getting ur water in, through out the day and not randomly remembering to drink it at 10pm. It doesnt have to be a torture, it shouldnt be! Get urself a cute water bottle, add some ice if u like and take small sips.

2) Sleep. And in the best way possible, i mean that u can use sleep literally as a distraction, to pass the time. Whenever u feel like those food thoughts are becoming too much, get under ur covers and sleep it off. Many times i did that and woke up, not feeling hungry anymore. And also, sleep itself does really help with weightloss, u will also feel less tired through out the day if u get nice sleep ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

3) Mints! Chewing zero sugar mint gum is a must. If that becomes too boring for u u can try the zero sugar flavored ones, my fav is raspberry or watermelon. U can also try to brush ur teeth whenever u feel like binging or eating when u shouldnt. Having that mint feeling in ur mouth often makes u want to not ruin it.

4) Distractions. Choose smth to distract urself, smth that actually takes a lot of time and doesnt make u think about food. Theres so many things u could do instead of being so bored u feel like u have to eat. Has to be smth u enjoy doing, for me its usually cleaning/organising, not only my room but around the house, watching movies and shows, saving pins on pinterest, organising my phone, making wishlists, playing games, and my fav one - talking to ppl on the phone or irl, so i dont want to interrupt it and i wouldnt want them to hear/see me eating.

5) Motivation. U wont do it if ur not motivated. Keep urself aware of how u look, try on clothes that u havr and see which ones are too small, and use this to motivate urself to fit in them. Think about how different everything could be for u in a couple of months if u stay strong now, and compare the situations if u fail. Write a list of things ur doing this for. I personally like to also have a hidden th3nsp folder, and i go back to look at the photos everytime i feel unmotivated and weak.

6) Dont jump into a fast too quickly. For example, if u ate a lot one day, and u decide to start a fast right away, it can make u fail pretty fast. Try to slowly make ur body more used to it, eat 100-200 cals less each day and THEN prepare to start a fast. So many times i made that mistake - started a fast out of nowhere, and my body was just too shocked, so i was way more hungry.

7) Wear a lip product. This might not be the most helpful one, but its just a small tip that works for me. Choose a lip product, bonus points if its scented or has a minty, cooling effect, and wear it. It makes me not want to ruin my lips and i usually choose not to eat when i have it on. Best combination is mint gum and this!

8) Zero drinks. We all know this, so i wont write too much, but zero drinks are usually my choice when i feel like i need smth with flavor, but i dont want any calories in. U have many to choose from.

9) Choose volume eating on the days u eat - instead of eating smth very small that has 300 cals, eat more but with less calories. This way u will feel better, and most likely wont eat even more. (Salads and fruits are heaven sent in that situation.) Always look for smth to switch to a less fat version, it isnt as hard as it seems.

10) Be patient. This is hard for me cuz im such an impatient person and if i could, i would want everything the same hour i start. But why did i make this point? Because if it feels pointless, like its not working, working to slow, just wait a month. U would be shocked how much u can change in just a month.

11) Doing lighter exercise while fasting. Ur already doing enough by fasting, so on those days dont torture urself with very long heavy exercise, even tho ik its tempting, i used to do it, but i would just end up feeling super shaky. U can workout more on the days ur restricting.

12) Parents that force dinners on u - I used to struggle a lot with that. Im older now, so no one can rlly tell me what to do. But i say, if ur parents make u sit down and eat dinner with them, try to make it ur omad. Nothing is really ,,ruined", if u dont think it is and dont start eating even more after, of course.

13) Rewards 🎀 Not food! But u can always set a bunch of goals and reward urself for them, it feels way nicer to do when u have to wait for smth and work for it. Choose a gift for urself and get it when u achieve a specific weight. U can have smaller ones for the small goals and choose smth bigger/more expensive when u hit a bigger goal.

14) Buying one piece of clothing thats too small for u. I had one, even a couple, and it was the greatest motivation ever. It was with my own money, and i felt so pathetic for thinking its too much work for me to just push myself and finally fit into that tiny top.

15) Keeping a journal. I usually do that in my phone notes and lock it. It helps u, u can always look back at it, learn from ur past mistakes and prevent urself from making them again. It can also motivate u! For example i wrote i was unhappy on my bday party cuz i felt too big. That motivated me to look way better on the next one, luckily a long time before the event.

16) Keep one thing in ur head, always - Food is not going to run away, it will be here. The cake ur mom bought, is not the last one u will ever see again, same with ur fav snacks someone brought home. The only thing running away from u is the years u spend unhappy, cause u keep giving in.

Good ♡ Luck !

[rotationalsymmetry]

So, I'm not great at avoiding procrastination either, but some thoughts on it:

Schedule leisure time and honor it at least 80% of the time, even if some stuff doesn't get done. Also get enough sleep most of the time -- if you're up late on a big project now and then, OK, but don't routinely stay up doing schoolwork. This is important not just because leisure is a human right, but also because of course people sneak around and steal leisure time wherever they can when they can't get it by following their own rules. That includes study breaks. Your brain needs some times where it's not actively working to absorb new information.

Break it up: people tend to be better at not procrastinating when there's a near future, urgent deadline, so it's a good idea to break large projects into smaller parts with smaller deadlines at the beginning. Sometimes people have trouble responding to self-imposed deadlines; sometimes positive reinforcement (pretend you're 5 years old and give yourself stickers or something) helps a lot, sometimes getting an accountability partner (someone who will ask you if you've hit your smaller deadlines or not) helps a lot.

Just do it/first step: when you catch yourself procrastinating in the moment, you can try telling yourself you'll just take the next smallest conceivable step to doing the project. Like opening a document on your laptop. If you do the next smallest step and really can't bear to do more, oh well, but often once people get going they want to keep going.

Sometimes people can break out of a cycle of "I know I should do x" but not actually doing it in the moment by counting down from 5 to 1 and then doing something in the physical world, like standing up (or eg putting down the phone if it's an electronic distraction.) This gets easier to do if you've practiced it a few times.

Breaking up the shame spiral: I don't think people usually procrastinate because they're actively enjoying whatever they're doing instead, I think what happens is they're (or at least this is how it works for me) feeling bad and there's something other than Doing The Thing that is better distraction from feeling bad. So, doing something to change the feeling bad into feeling OK can break a procrastination cycle. What I do is write "I fucked up" in a notes app and write down what happened and how bad it is and how I can make it less bad, and that tends to make me feel way better (and once in a while even helps me figure out how to do less of the thing I feel guilty about); but any emotional management thing that actually works for you is fine. Take a walk around the block or do some jumping jacks, say some affirmations, do a breathing exercise, whatever. Anything reasonably short, that actually works.

Acceptance: behavioral change takes a while and tends to involve some relapses, that's how people are, people don't need to be perfect to get things done.

Finally, this isn't anti-procrastination advice, but: DON'T DO EVERYTHING. Prioritize. Part of what you're supposed to learn in uni is to learn what to do when you have more to do than what you can do -- learn which things are lower priority and can be put off or skipped entirely, and which things have to be done. In particular, you will get too much reading, so learn to skim. This is not cheating or slacking off. This is part of what you are supposed to be learning. See also: asking for extensions and stuff when you need them.

So I’m a first year uni student. How did you survive your bachelors? It feels like such a long slog, and as I write this I have five things I need to do.

In particular, how did you… not procrastinate

I’d really appreciate any advice you can give!

One day at a time mate. One day at a time.

I can't give you any advice on procrastination, I procrastinated every project I had throughout all of uni.

[trans-xianxian]

we are yet again in a ben fic writing moment which means you all get to suffer through my little snippets whenever I see fit

[nxghtstxne]

"What are we?"

Warnings: None

Pairings: Leah Williamson x reader

Words: 2222 (angel number??)

*First Leah fic, still gonna be writing for OBX and stuff so don't worry but I like this now too so I'm also gonna be writing more WOSO stuff, I actually already have a second Leah fic lined up after this one, inspired by this so it'll probably be the same timeline and background and stuff.

You were a forward for the Arsenal women's team, having scored a fair few goals for the team you were popular with the fans. However even after all your time at the club you were still rather quiet and reserved, becoming good friends with Lotte and Viv pretty soon after joining, and of course being friends with Viv meant eventually being friends with Beth and of course Leah. 

Beth and Leah had managed to soon get you to open up around them, the latter of the two quickly realising how her mood instantly lifted whenever you were nearby, finding it hard not to smile at just the thought of you sometimes. Slowly you had found yourself talking to Leah more easily, at first finding her rather stern and slightly intimidating. Now you were excited to tell her about your day or to listen to her talk about all the new songs she had found since you two last spoke. 

Eventually as the season progressed, so did your friendship with the defender, whenever you would score goals, whether they were strong and thought out or a chance you took with your eyes closed, Leah was always one of the last ones to leave the celebration, her hands and arms holding onto you the tightest out of all your teammates. After one particular game changing goal against Liverpool, you were quickly bombarded with hands patting your head and back and shouts of praise being thrown your way, but it was one set of strong arms wrapping around your shoulders that caught your attention; warm breath hitting your cheek as she pressed her chest against your back, her face pressed close to your ear.

 “Y/n that was unbelievable- you're unbelievable, oh my god!” What was surprising though was the quick kiss that she planted on your cheek, squeezing you one last time before running off back into her position. Not that you minded the way her arms felt around your torso when she was jumping in happiness at Arsenal scoring, or how close her face got to yours during that too. In fact you found yourself missing her presence afterwards when she wasn’t close to you. But she was like that with everyone right? Always the supportive vice captain, that’s all it was, is what you told yourself whenever your mind wandered to the what ifs. 

You found yourself asking the same questions during training a few days later, the trainers wanting everyone to pair up in the gym to do some 1v1 work together, you saw the blonde’s head turn your way the second the words left the coaches mouth, you were also about to make your way over to her to pair up before Victoria had grabbed your attention to be her partner instead. For the rest of the exercise you couldn’t help but notice the rather attractive frown on her face the whole time, it not going missed by Lia either; who had paired with Leah after seeing her disappointment at not being with you. Lia couldn’t help but be amused at the situation, throughout the whole time she had known Leah she had never seen her be this jealous or love struck over a girl before. At the end of session, you and Pelova had finished before Leah and Lia did, so you grabbed the blonde’s water bottle and made your way over. As soon as her eyes met yours she was like a completely different person, smiling and laughing at what you were saying, shoulder bumping into yours as you guys grabbed your bags. You both went your separate ways that afternoon, however the way her moods changed earlier that day had been stuck in your mind for the rest of the night. 

Every time you even thought about the possibility that she liked you as much as you liked her, you would get a slight flutter of butterflies in your stomach, eventually having enough of it and deciding to send her a quick message. After that it was hard to find a time where the two of you weren’t messaging each other, or facetiming while getting ready. Naturally this led to you both hanging out a lot more, movie nights, meeting up at little cafes or bars or sometimes going mini golfing or bowling. None of these had been called dates, but the way your hands intertwined casually and the longing looks shared throughout the nights, played on your mind, and unknown to you, Leah thought about them too.

 After a few months of this going on, it was obvious to the two of you that you both liked each other, however there seemed to be something stopping either of you from making the move and making it official, the fear of it not working out and then losing a friend and a good teammate being too strong. Once Leah was able to drive again after her surgery, she would pick you up and drop you off back home, not being too keen on the idea of you walking on your own after late training nights. It took surprisingly less time than you thought for Leah to give up her treasured DJ privileges and let you take control of the music in the car, it didn’t stop her from being overly opinionated about the music you played though. One night after the two of you had been out to an arcade for a few hours, you were sat in the passenger seat, the conversation had since died down into a comfortable silence, street lights lit up the car every few seconds causing you to notice Leah's clenched jaw out of the corner of your eye, a hand gently landed on your right thigh. Thumb stroking over the jeans softly as the tapping of her other hand on the wheel to the beat of the song filled the car, she was nervous you could tell, not wanting to draw attention to her you placed your own hand on top of hers. A silent response that it was okay, and you liked it. It was almost as if that night had opened something between the two of you, now comfortable with holding each other more often, hands in hands, or chests pressed against backs in the comfort of your house or her flat. 

Eventually it started to feel like the two of you were becoming something, knowing each other's schedules, each other’s favourite snacks or drinks to have after a match or at a movie night at each other's houses, the two of you even had some spare clothes and pajamas in a dedicated draw in the other girl’s room. After one particular group dinner at your place, cooking for what felt like half the team, Leah asked to sleep at yours, something that the two of you had done before but it still sent a surge of butterflies through your stomach, an instant smile at the thought of spending alone time with the girl. You quickly agreed and once everyone had helped clean up and left, not even an hour later you both were in lying in your bed, time had gone by pretty fast and before you knew it, you had spent countless hours awake together, talking about almost anything, ignoring the plot of the movie you two put on as it now only served as background noise. 

 Even hours after the two of you said you would be fast asleep, you were lying next to each other, shoulders touching and legs intertwined, giggling and silently laughing at each other’s bad jokes, hands grasping onto arms and heads turning to face each other as the laughter mellowed into giggles. Leah's eyes gently watched you as your hand reached up to tuck her fringe behind her ear, removing it from blocking her eyes. Only to giggle as it once again fell back to where it was, you moved it again, this time keeping your hand where it was against the side of her face; thumb moving up and down against her cheekbone. Her head moved slowly towards yours, nose pressing against yours, eyes holding eye contact, neither of you needed to speak to be able to understand what was being said, with a small nod of your head Leah’s lips were on yours. This was the first night of many that ended in gentle kisses while arms held each other close, waking up in the morning under warm covers with Leah’s long legs hung over your waist, an instant smile at how she even manages to frown in her sleep.

Though it wasn’t long after that first kiss that things started to escalate a little bit more, Leah always holding her hand out for you to take even in front of teammates, you guys had obviously held hands before but the slight fear of it being noticed by someone had always been there. But now it was like neither of you cared, too caught up in your own bubble to notice that people were looking, especially Beth and Katie. They noticed that one time Leah accidentally or not wore one of your hoodies to training, they knew it was yours because it was your favourite- always wearing it or having it in your bag in case. They noticed whenever Leah would make sure you were walking in front of her in crowded places, hands on your waist, her height advantage over you making it easy for her to direct you through the sea of people. They also noticed how not being official would affect the two of you when being single was brought up in conversation or online, with speculation and shipping by fans- or when a stranger would mindlessly flirt with either one of you on a night out.  And so because of this they took it upon themselves to get you both to finally confess your strong feelings to each other and make it official.

Not long after they had discussed their plan with Viv and Lotte, deciding to tag team the two of you and separately have the same talk about confessing your obvious love for each other, reminding you of how down you felt whenever you were reminded that Leah wasn’t yours, and you weren’t Leah's; convincing you and Leah the feelings were obviously there and so it would be stupid and painful to not follow and listen to them. 

That led you to where you are now, sat almost cuddled under a warm blanket on a cold October evening, hands itching to grab a hold of the other but the conversation ahead was making the two of you nervous. Space that was never usually there was present between both your bodies, a random episode of a tv show you’re both watching playing on the tv, the air around not awkward; never awkward with you two, just quietly comfortable but slightly scary. 

“Lee, what are we?” you had asked rather suddenly, your voice almost a whisper. Leah who had been focused on her nail polish, nervously checking it over and over again, stopped and turned to face you, eyebrows pulled down into that very attractive frown that you loved. Her head leaning to rest against her hand, arm perched on the back of the sofa. Copying her movements you turned to face her too, smiling as you reached up to rub a finger along the two lines in between her eyes, reminding her to relax her face; she secretly adored it when you did that, admittedly sometimes frowning on purpose just for you to do it. 

“What do you mean? We’re us, we’re good right? Just the way we are?” Her words had almost made your stomach drop, thinking that now you had definitely read it all wrong and maybe she doesn’t want to make it official or be with you for real. You had to remind yourself what your friends had told you earlier that day as you took a big breath in. 

“Yeah of course we’re good, but it would be good if we were more too, right? Even better maybe, cause then you’d be mine for real… And I would be yours for real, if you wanted.” The second those last words had left your mouth, Leah nodded, humming in agreement with your words.

“Yeah, yeah that would be good. Maybe a little scary but we’ll be alright I reckon.” Laughing towards the end of her words, she took one look at you and then pulled you into a kiss, a gentle, warm kiss like the many you’ve shared before but this one felt more passionate; possessive maybe? At the fact that you were now each other’s, comfortably and happily each other’s.  “So I guess this means no more hiding it?” 

“God shut up!” You laughed and pushed her away before pulling the blanket further up, cuddling back into her side, relieved that the hard part of the conversation was now over. “We were shit at hiding it anyway, pretty sure everyone knew already.” Leah had quietly laughed at your words, wrapping her arms around your upper body, head resting atop yours, forever thankful to their friends for giving them a talking to, because now Leah get’s to fall even more in love with you, and she will love you, sincerely, effortlessly and completely. 

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

我的老师 - HRJ

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: smut, student!renjun, english teacher!reader, lowkey mfal!au but aged up

word count: 1514 words

warnings: (not your typical) student-teacher-relationship, reader is older then renjun, semi-public sex in a classroom, chinese words are thrown around, cheating (reader has a bf), reader needs a bit of convincing to get things started, but everyone is head over heels

a/n: everyone is of age! this is not meant to sexualize anything that shouldn't be sexualized! if it still makes you uncomfortable, don't read it! Also, lǎoshī （老师） means teacher and cào （肏） means fuck.

Since the first time the soles of your shoes crossed the line of the door frame, Renjun had a crush on you. Sure, it developed over time, intensifying with every words that made your lips move so beautifully, with every smile you sent at whomever just got an answer right, with every time you turned around to write something on the board which gave Renjun the opportunity to ogle your ass. But, yeah, if he's being honest, he wanted you from the first day.

Renjun's moral detector strikes the red area of the barometer continuously with an annoying siren sound. It's not like he's in high school anymore, he pays you for teaching him amongst other students, though it still has that forbidden student-teacher-vibe and that is what makes it even more interesting for him: It's wrong. Maybe not wrong per se, but it's not entirely right. Renjun knows he shouldn't think about you at night when it's only him, his hand and his hot erection throbbing in his boxers. But he does. He really can't help his thoughts wandering into the direction of your short skirts or tight pants that you tend to wear.

You're his English teacher, and maybe the fact that he's only had to deal with old men teaching him the subject for years before you showed up and messed with his head lead to the situation he finds himself in now, but who knows, honestly? Renjun only knows that he needs you, and it doesn't help that you're close to his age, nor that every word that leaves your mouth sounds sinful, even if you're only talking about grammar.

It's a shame that having a crush on his teacher, inevitably accompanied by the need to impress you, to be praised by you for getting an answer right, was the one thing that could motivate him to actually study, but that's just what happened. He kind of wishes you had taught him English in school instead of every Thursday at 4pm, but maybe it's better you didn't.

Thursday, 5:30 pm sharp, the lesson finds its end as you write down the homework exercises for next week and tell the students to have a nice rest of their day. Renjun, a plan in mind, takes his sweet time stuffing his belongings into his backpack. Today will be the day he finally shoots his shot.

The room empties quickly, everyone hurrying out to get to their next lesson, or home as soon as possible. You as well begin packing your bag, sighing before you turn to wipe the writings off the board. Renjun feels like this is his time.

"Lǎoshī," he addresses you, getting up from his seat in the first row to walk to the front, a hand coming up to ruffle through the short hair of the back of his head, and stand behind you. You jump slightly, surprised that you weren't alone in the room, and turn around to find Renjun standing directly in front of you.

"In English, please?" You tease, chuckling briefly, "what can I do for you?"

Renjun cracks a smile as well, trying to look as confident as possible, straightening his posture and puffing his chest out to appear tall and manly. Then, he clears his throat. "I have a question."

"Shoot," you answer, stepping aside to attend to your desk, sorting through sheets of paper. Renjun dislikes the way you stepped out of his personal space and follows you, leaning his ass against the edge of the desk.

"I was wondering, do you have a boyfriend?"

Your motions halt, your head ripping up to look at him shortly after. "Excuse me?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Renjun repeats, smirking slightly.

"I don't think this is an appropriate question for you to ask-"

"Just answer the question," Renjun demands, peeling himself away from the desk and stepping towards you who backs away towards the board.

"I do," you say hesitantly, sending an anxious look over to the door that had been closed by a student on their way out. Renjun decides that he likes seeing you flustered like that.

"I'm better than him," Renjun responds, taking another step into your direction until your back bumps into the board behind you. "Let me show you."

"I can't, this is wrong-" you begin, but your breath hitches as Renjun reaches out to stroke a strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes, widened and nervous, look into his, switching between his left and right eye.

"I know you want it too," Renjun says, his left hand meeting the board behind you to cage you in. His face comes closer to you, it's almost like he's towering over you. He's so close, he can feel your hammering heartbeat vibrating the air between both of your chests. "You never said you don't want it."

"Pervert," you breathe out with a smile, and something inside Renjun snaps. With a groan, almost sounding like a growl escapes his throat, his hands come up to your shoulders to turn you around, pressing your front against the board.

"See what you do to me?" Renjun asks, then presses his hips forwards, his evident errection pushing between the supple cheeks of your ass, and he's sure he just heard you gasp.

"You're my best student, Renjun. I should've known this was the reason," you say sarcastically with a snicker, but whimper as Renjun grinds against your ass.

"Don't act like you don't like my eyes on you," Renjun whispers into your ear, and he can feel your entire form shudder against his body. His hands grip the hem of your skirt to push it up, revealing your ass to his hungry eyes.

"Renjun-" you say, then finally, a moan rips from your throat as Renjun strokes his fingers over your panties.

"You're so wet for me, lǎoshī," Renjun comments, and catches the way you lean into his touch, pressing your ass back to feel more of his fingers against you. "cào."

"Renjun, w-we can't, but I want it so much. I always found you attractive, but-" you admit, a gasp following as Renjun's hand reaches forward to rub at your clit. Your confession is everything Renjun needed, his assumption proven correctly. "We can't, I'm your teacher."

"I can make you feel better than your boyfriend," Renjun mumbles, head feeling dizzy as he opens the button and fly of his pants, pushing his boxers down just far enough to free his cock that he then starts stroking over your panty-covered cunt. Your occupation is the least of his concerns right now, he needs you to beg for him. He needs you to tell him to make you forget about your boyfriend.

"Lǎoshī," Renjun gasps at your moans caused by his actions, "tell me..."

"I c-can't-, i-it's not right," you whine, and Renjun decides that you presumably need a bit more of convincing, so he yanks your panties to the side, immediately grabbing ahold of himself to drag his tip through your drenched folds. He shudders at his own action, having waited for so long to feel you, and hearing the heavenly sounds you let out because of no one else but him and him only makes it hard for him not to think 'fuck it' and simply push in.

"Oh God," you whimper, pushing your ass further back to be able to feel more of Renjun's cock enter you, who fights his hardest battle right now, iron grip on your hips tightening exponentially as his eyelids flutter and his eyes roll back.

"Say it, just say it," he forces the words to come out through grit teeth. He's at the verge of losing himself completely in the way you feel so, so warm around his tip already.

"Convince me," you say and it's all Renjun needs to snap his hips forward and sink balls deep into you.

From then on, everything is a bit of a blur. Renjun remembers fucking into you like his life depended on it, toying with your clit to make you finish around him at least once before asking if he could cum in you. He remembers thanking you, kissing you, and walking you out of the school building where you then got picked up by your boyfriend.

Honestly, it hurt his pride, crushed his heart a little, too, but at least he has this new thing to envision when he's alone. The day of your next class nears and Renjun finally pulls himself together and looks at last week's course work. He opens his book, the familiar sight of his short essay greeting him, but this time, the sheet of paper is marked. Right! You'd taken some of them home the week before and handed out the corrected versions last week. Too bad Renjun had been too occupied ogling you that he completely missed what is now metaphorically poking into his eyes.

Right there, next to the 97/100 grade marking, it says: Good job, as always. Come see me after class ;-), and then your number next to it.

© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[tsukimefuku]

Team fighting

You decided to train team fighting with Higuruma in an unorthodox way.

Tags: Jujutsu Kaisen, f!reader, light Higuruma x reader, crack taken seriously, fluff.

WC: 1.1K

The song (heh): Aozora Lonely - Sunny Day Service (on YouTube)

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". A sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a Nanami x Reader x Higuruma long fic I might write. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots and short stories, please visit my masterlist :) 

Disclaimer: they’re NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

"Are you... Serious? Aren't we a little too old for that?" The former lawyer asked, sat beside your makeshift dorm room bed, incredulous, as you pointed at your phone, showing him a video of two teenagers playing Dance Dance Revolution. You sighed, because even though he had a point, you thought it'd be beneficial to try it in order to develop your synergy in the field.

You had been working alongside Higuruma for two weeks now, and on your third mission by his side, you had to save the sorcerer from being hit by the poison curse both were fighting, rendering you bedridden. Furthermore, you still had a couple of days to rest, but thought that, as long as there wasn't any actual fighting or cursed energy manipulation involved, you'd probably be just fine.

"Look, playing things like these has helped me improve my control over my cursed energy. It teaches you to move without thinking." You pointed out. "But if we do it together, maybe you will learn to sync your movements with someone else's. God knows you need it."

He scratched the side of his temple with his thumb, pensive, without any faith this would work. "I can get behind the principle in what you're suggesting, but aren't you still in your recovery period?"

"I am, but this is just dancing, not actual heavy training, you know? I think I'll be fine."

He looked at you, wearing pajamas and sitting on your bed. You still had a few wound dresses around your face and neck. The video showed an extremely vigorous dance game session, with all the jumping, stomping and pirouetting. Higuruma thought to himself that sparring would probably be a lighter exercise routine when compared to this. 

"This looks pretty intense, and no offense intended, but you don't seem to be ready for this much exercise at the present moment." He said, still staring at the screen.

You sighed, a little defeated, and leaned back against the wall on the side of your bed to think of an alternative. Even if he wasn't right — and he was —, there was still the issue of leaving Jujutsu High's headquarters and walking around Tokyo to find a joint that had Dance Dance Revolution.

Then, you had an idea.

"Higuruma, get up and put your chair over there." You said, pointing to a corner of the room. Curious, he followed suit, as you got up, and started to search around the songs you had saved on your phone. "I had an idea."

"And what was that? I might get behind it, or leave you to your own devices. You still need to rest and shouldn't be coming up with these kinds of shenanigans." He said, putting one of his hands inside his pants' pocket. Even if he was more open to collaborating accordingly with Jujutsu High, his demeanor was mostly uncooperative, overall. Higuruma was still feeling like a wild animal in domestication process, and you noticed that, trying to propose this exercise to chip away at his aloof facade. If this got him to fight less like a suicidal maniac, you'd be satisfied enough.

"I'm doing this in order to not get hurt again when trying to protect you from your lack of practice fighting alongside other people" you told him, still searching for something to play. He opened his mouth to answer you, but felt a light surge of guilt, choosing not to say anything instead. After all, it was his fault that you were injured like that. These little pinches of guilt and remorse creeping up on him were bringing Higuruma back to the real world and its consequences, after what happened when he awakened his cursed technique.  

"Ah, here it is." You finally found a song, and let your phone on standby over the bed. "We will dance together, and you'll let me lead, okay?"

He huffed, somewhere between a sigh and a sardonic chuckle, still in disbelief at your idea. "I have no problem with that, but is this really necessary?"

"Firstly, I'm bored out of my mind. If I don't do anything, I might actually go insane locked up in this room." You began answering. "Also, you're great when fighting alone, but an absolute menace to any ally around you when fighting with company. We can't have that being the norm when you're stuck working with me, and I'm stuck working with you."

Higuruma sighed, defeated, and acquiesced.

You took both of his hands and pulled him to stand right in front of you. Then, raised one of them to rest over your waist, holding the other around shoulder-high, and rested your own palm on his shoulder. "Are you ready?" You asked.

He simply shrugged. "I guess. I must warn you that I am not very good at this, though."

You smiled and parted from his hand briefly, extending your finger to press 'play', beginning to waltz around to the beat of the song. You chose something easy and slow enough to start out. Higuruma was stiff as hell, so you tried the simplest thing you could, trying to guide him two steps back, two steps forward. Your efforts were fruitless. He was sturdy and his body would simply not budge. The sorcerer was clearly having a lot of difficulty following your lead, ending up stepping over your toes a few times. On top of that, he was trying to follow your movements by looking at your feet, as opposed to feeling the movements of your body and following along.

"Ouch! Higuruma, what the hell? I feel like I'm dancing with a rock." You told him, stopping for a second.

"In my defense, I informed you I wasn't good at this" he pointed out.

You sighed. "This isn't difficult." You looked at Higuruma and pulled him closer, so he wouldn't have room to be looking at your feet in between your bodies. "Come on, look at my face, not our feet."

You felt his body tightening, as his shoulders stiffened and rose up slightly, startled at the sudden way your bodies had pressed against each other. You tapped the hand you had over one of his shoulders and said, "relax. If you don't, I won't have toes at the end of this. Inhale, exhale, you know the drill."

"Fine." Higuruma closed his eyes, inhaled, held his breath, exhaled and then looked at you. He seemed more focused now, and you began to dance again, pulling and pushing him slowly to the beat of the music. This time, he had his eyes locked on yours, and followed your steps appropriately, so you began to increase the difficulty. You started to dance circularly, and he followed your waltzing effortlessly, as you smiled at him.

"There you go. See? You're not so bad," you said, "not bad at all."

For the first time in months, he truly smiled. This was the first time you saw him smiling, actually, and you returned the expression.

Higuruma began thinking to himself that this, maybe, was really not bad at all. 

[dairy-farmer]

Bringing you a smutty AU and wanna know what you think about it! O/ am trying to get back into writing and am using smut to do it! Pls tell me what you think? Decent outline? Trying to do flash ficlets to break my writers block like bane broke the bat lol

You know that hentai trope? The Time Stop? Where someone finds an object that let's them stop time and do naughty things to someone, but when they START time the sensation of everything they did starts to register? Etc?

Imagine Bruce finding one on his adventures as batman. Knowing he should hand it over to JLD... but giving in to his paranoid "but what if I NEED it..." thoughts and not mentioning it.

And of course, the reason such objects are so Dangerous? Is because of the temptation to USE them. But Batman has SUCH a strong will doesn't he? HE won't give in~

Then Tim becomes Robin. Jason is dead. He refuses to lose any hours of the day on paranoid thoughts such as "But what if somethings happened to him?". And in one world? He ignores them. Pushes them down. Blames Tim for the constant anxiety tormenting him on TOP of the grief he's already feeling. Is harsh and uncompromising.

But in THIS world? His thought drift to that object. Maybe it's a pocket watch, maybe a switch attached to nothing. It IS just sitting there... he... he doesn't HAVE to lose any "time" checking on Tim. No one would even know. He could concentrate again. He finds his hand drifting to it.

It's just next door after all, hardly even a hike. It's even good exercise. But... but instead of soothing his thoughts? Drake Manor just sets his instincts off. Too easy to break in. Too empty. Looks like a show room. Where is the staff? Somebody IS looking after Tim, right? He KNOWS the Drakes are in Morocco. Maybe it's a one off, he came at a bad time. At least he can confirm Tim is safe.

But? Once you give in once? It gets easier to do it again. Especially if you are avoiding actually TALKING to people. Admitting you care. He keeps checking. It keeps being empty. Tim... Tim looks so alone. So small. Hurt.

And no one WOULD know...

He could just... rub his back for a while. Run his fingers through his hair. Tuck him close and just... just BREATHE after that too close call. He can let himself care. Like he did with Jason, with Dick. Just.. just for a bit. No man is an island forever after all. The chance to have that warmth again? It's so impossibly strong. He can fight it.. he can! He just... he just needs this moment... to... to rest...

But then a run in with Ivy. Tim's terrible habit of hiding injuries. He immediately jumped in a pond to get the Pollen off, he justified to himself, no need to tell Bruce. But exposure is exposure, it works fast even if the effects aren't immediate. And for this stain? Without a male partner's "proteins", he'll slowly cook.

But he doesn't know this, because he didnt tell Bruce he got hit. All he knows is the unbearable need in his gut. The one that made him shuck his pants and drag up his shirt before time stopped, made frustrated and desperate tears, and a fumbling hand urgent in its quest for ANYTHING.

And Bruce, looming frozen at the door way in this frozen world of unmoving time? Knows EXACTLY what he needs. There are... dubious but ethical ways to cure it. He could jerk off and use a baster or dribble it down Tim throat. Start time and use a shot glass. It would be awkward. Or impersonal and coldly medical. He COULD do that...

Yet? His Robin NEEDS him. Is alone and afraid, having their body betray them. He can make it better. He finds himself letting go of the door frame. Shucking clothes. Cupping tear stained cheeks and a developing sensitive little chest. Doing far more then is strictly necessary. Because... because his Robin's first shouldn't hurt.

And when time starts later? Tim is going to be incoherent with it all. The feeling of a mouth for what must be hours, fingers that stretch and find, then tease and tease and tease until he sobs, something big splitting him apart and going deeper then he though possible and just...

And dawn finds him a gushing, twitching mess. Long since cured of the Pollen but unable to move as SOMETHING pounded him near mindless. Unable to escape being made to get off again and again and again. Passing out briefly only to wake with it STILL HAPPENING.

He misses school that day.

He's more careful about Pollen. Doesn't get hit if he can avoid it. But somehow? There must be aftereffects. Because it keeps happening. Tim will go to bed or starting a shower or just be watching TV at home and suddenly? It will be like someone decided to eat him out for hours. Or bent him over and fucked him hard. Or used each and every toy on him from his toy box he keeps hidden in his room, one after another without mercy. Just... just all sorts of things...

He should tell Bruce. But how to even bring that up? Hey, I lied to you? Withheld important information? Now I might have a medical condition? Not to mention... it's BRUCE! His father figure and kinda crush! Because things aren't messy enough.

Then? The Drake's die. And Tim's "condition" gets worse. Because now? Bruce can set up cameras. Can watch the aftermath of starting time. And he hates that he loves it so much. Is able to customize it better and better to what makes Tim squirm and lose his mind. Is able to catch him at all hours of the day for a quick fuck, then gets to watch later as Tim gasps and twitchs as his hole is pounded by something he can't see.

Gets to make him such a MESS some nights.

Finally Tim cracks and tells him. A delicate matter of course. Private. Of course he'll keep it between them. He does pointless tests, promises to look for a cure. He's in too deep and he knows it. Couldn't let go of his boy if he TRIED.

Tim doesn't want to be alone, Bruce promises he can sleep next to him. "Somehow" this "hardship" has "brought them together". Wouldn't you know it, it feels like someone rolled over and is trying to fuck him through the mattress. Tim clings to Bruce, pants and whimpers as he rides it out. Bruce holds him, his boy, warm and wonderful in his arms. And let's him catch up. They have all the time in the world.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANON THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH A GODTIER CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was all so good!!!!! the escalation of bruce's actions the way that when the opportunity presented itself with the combined possibility that he would/could get away with it bruce did it!!!! the ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the implication of bruce continuing to do this while framing it as helping tim!!!!!!!!

bruce would absolutely 100% pull a 'i know better' if he found a time stopping device. he thinks he's above the temptation but he's NOT!!! because he's sad and he's lonely and neither of his children are present and he can't funnel those feelings away like he used to by holding them close and stroking their little back and burying his nose into their lilac shampooed hair.

but with tim it's different. it's...inappropriate because tim isn't his child. but that doesn't mean bruce's concern never bubbles up. after jason bruce's paranoia and irrational thoughts get worse. they keep him up and haunt him and...bruce can't just call tim to check on him. because tim will ask question, inquire why bruce is calling him in the middle of the night and of course tim won't believe him if he tries to dismiss it so he'll get up and try to come to the manor and....bruce's worries are just inconvenient to everyone involved.

until he recalls the little device he keeps in the cave under careful watch. the one bruce has always squashed down the selfish uses it could serve (letting him get more sleep, giving him more time on cases-). but....if it's for tim then it's not really selfish.

at first, it's just checking and then double and then triple checking and each time tim is always in the same position. eating dinner at a table by himself, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring blankly at his feet, listening to music with headphones while he worked on some homework. simple mundane things bruce has done a million times but on tim they just seem....lonelier.

the few times bruce had been to drake manor he never lingered long but with all the time in the world he finally sees how...big it is. far too big for tim who is all by himself.

bruce...at some point...starts stopping time not just to check on tim but because the itch under his skin won't go away. an itch that tells him he's gone too long without holding another person. with the device bruce can stop time and...split off from himself. like a phantom and wander around in this frozen world while his body remains seated and stroking the side of the rectangular, gear-like device.

bruce knows he can still experience sensations even as a sort of phantom. its why he shivers when he climbs into tim's bed while he's asleep in drake manor and holds tim close. bruce curls around his little body, hands practically shaking as he strokes his downy soft hair and nuzzles the back of his neck that warms bruce down to his toes. bruce chose a time when he knew tim would be asleep otherwise tim might get frightened at phantom hands toughing and feeling him so suddenly.

it continues like that. bruce sneaking affection and then behaves as if nothing is wrong when he returns to his body and time progresses as normal.

bruce visits only a few times a month, then it becomes weekly, and then every night bruce is waiting for tim to head home to fall asleep until bruce can't stand the trek to tim's house anymore and offers him a bedroom in the manor for easier access.

it's that access that ends up saving tim's life when bruce goes to tim's room for their nightly cuddling only to stop at the sight of tim red cheeked and sobbing and desperately rubbing at his reddened clit sitting sweetly above his glistening, puffy folds.

bruce nearly punches himself with the realization that tim had been hit by a particularly vicious strand of pollen. the kind that would raise his core temperature until his brain was getting cooked by the heat....unless...unless his body received a very specific combination of citric acid, free amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, and zinc.

semen.

and bruce...has options. unstopping time and confronting tim and dragging him down to the cave. walking over to tim's parted mouth where his pajama dress is pushed all the way under his neck exposing soft little tits with one starting to bruise from tim's desperate abuse for pleasure. he could save tim the humiliation and he would never have to know what bruce did. but...bruce stares at tim's naked body. more exposed than he's ever seen if despite the fact that his hands have made homes to tim's waist, hips, thighs, and the small of his back.

bruce's heart aches at the sight of tim suffering so much. it was his job to ensure tim didn't suffer, tim was his robin and it was his job to keep him safe but if it hadn't been for the little time stopper and bruce's selfishness bruce would've awoken to tim's corpse cooling on a bed.

and...maybe bruce has slowly been working towards this, maybe he was just looking for an excuse to be selfish again, or maybe he was trying to make up for nearly fucking up so horribly-

but...he decides to do everything to make sure tim doesn't continue suffering. he goes slow. he's gentle.

bruce has never fucked a virgin before so all he can do is carefully press his finger into tim's little hole and pump it in, warming the cunt up more by adding another finger. tim's hole loosens marginally, he can see as more slick gets developed the more he works over this cunt with his decades of experience. he presses his tongue in, letting the flat of it lick a stripe up and press meanly to tim's clit. tim's body doesn't give a responsive jolt in return but bruce knows the effect that move has on pussies. bruce strips off his own clothing slowly. his real body is a few rooms down already in bed and handling the device allowing bruce to do this.

he pushes down his pants and underwear, taking hold of his throbbing and leaking cock. he hums against the sweet taste of tim on his cunt and continues sucking gently on the little clit that's so exposed from tim's fingers spreading his lips open for bruce.

bruce leaves wet, stringy trails of saliva on tim's virgin pussy. he collects a wad of saliva in his mouth as he rises to his feet and his knees sink into the mattress of tim's bed.

he presses to throbbing cockhead into tim's hole and pushes the wad of spit out, watching as it hits bruce's cockhead sinking into tim's warm, heavenly heat.

bruce lets out an audible groan as he sinks in, watching himself get swallowed by a red, flushed little cunt. he lets out a quiet curse at the sight of tim's hole stretching to accommodate bruce sinking in all the way to his womb.

even though he's frozen, bruce can still feel tim's heartbeat pulsing around his cock as he drags his sweat and cunt slicked cock out of that hole and thrusts gently back in.

bruce is gentle for tim's first time. he rocks in and out of a slow beat. his thumb rubs circles into tim's clit and he snaps his hips a little harder everytime tim's hole give in a little more until he's got a good pace and is grunting into tim, fucking his hole until he's spilling and filling him up nice and good.

bruce's guilt isn't satiated by just doing it once. bruce fucks tim for the rest of the night. or rather for hours because the sun never comes up and the moon never goes down. bruce fucks tim's hole fast and slow and he keeps going, cumming again and again and again. tim's cunt is frothy with cum, it spills out of him in a steady, thick drip. tim's body is almost certainly cured and even if the cum disappears once bruce returns to his body he knows it will have been enough.

bruce stops only when he feels like he's on the verge of a heart attack. he's covered in sweat and panting, his cock is spilling almost constant dribbles of cum. bruce presses a gentle kiss to the crown of tim's head and returns to his body where he is suddenly clean and dry with none of the earlier muscle aches. but he also feels....so deeply satisfied. the same feeling he always gets after a nice fuck.

tim feels sick in the morning. that's what he claims. bruce lets him stay home from school and tries to tell himself that he'd done his job. that tim was alive and he'd more than made up for his failure as a mentor.

but then...bruce comes home one day. tim is in one of the sitting rooms laying on his stomach and watching the tv while his homework is spread around him.

his legs are spread in a perfect 'V' allowing bruce to catch the slightest peek of pink cotton underwear under his skirt and...bruce remembers the bone-deep satisfaction that morning after he woke up. he'd stretched and yawned and felt better rested and lighter than he had in decades.

and...it would be pure selfishness but...bruce goes to his room where he keeps the device and just a few short minutes later he's huddled behind tim and moving the crotch of his underwear to the side so he can fuck his fingers in and even though it's been a few days bruce quietly marvels at how tim's cunt stretches to accommodate him.

it doesn't take as long to fuck tim this time. bruce only fucks him for an hour, pounding his wet folds and growling his release into his cunt for a few rounds before getting up and zippling his slacks back up. he's back a few hours later after dinner. he fucks tim as he's standing up and getting dressed for patrol. bruce squeezes tim's hips in his hands while he bends his knees to get his cock to reach tim's cunt to fuck him again.

a few times bruce doesn't even fuck tim. when tim is in the shower bruce groups him, squeezing the cheeks of his little ass, thumbs pushing against tim's nippes and feeling out the soft tissue of his developing breasts. he strokes hands down tim's waist. he just likes touching tim.

when bruce gets horny he'll take his clothes off and gently rub the head of his cock against the soft skin of tim's lips. both pairs.

bruce eats tim out at his leisure, mapping out every bit of his insides with his tongue and humming against the sweet taste of his young pussy that's only ever known one man. him.

bruce fucks tim hard and fast, gentle and soft, bruising and vicious, tender and sweet. it changes depending on bruce's mood for the day or desires. tim is the best pussy bruce has ever had and he has no intentions of ever giving it up.

bruce starts putting cameras in tim's room. in his shower. he's curious to see how tim acts once bruce is finished and starts time again. he watches tim's nose wrinkle, his brows furrow, his body hunch over. he listens to tim's squeaks and moans, and muffled whines as he gets phantom fucked by bruce for the second time.

bruce strokes his cock to the sights and sounds then stops time and goes to fuck tim for some relief because ever since bruce started doing this he hasn't masturbated even once.

the drakes pass away and bruce doesn't even give tim a chance to voice an opinion before bruce is taking him in (no way is bruce letting a pussy like tim's get away).

bruce continues as he was until...tim comes to him. shameful eyes cast down, red staining his cheeks, and biting down on his fat bottom lip. bruce is almost tempted to stop time and fuck tim while staring at his face struck with such a sweet and innocent look.

bruce listens to tim admitting that he'd lied to bruce months ago. that something had happened with ivy's pollen that...something was STILL happening.

and bruce pretends to be angry, pretends to be sympathetic, pretends to assure tim he'll get to the bottom of this. he collects blood, saliva, hair, and, much to tim's humiliation, a swab of the inside of his cunt. why he's so embarrassed bruce doesn't know- it's nothing he's never seen before after all.

bruce comforts tim...he holds him close for the first time...the first time where he hasn't needed to stop time.

tim's crying face is just too arousing. bruce fucks tim again that night. only instead of basking in the afterglow after retreating to his body his door bursts open with tim tearfully asking if he can stay in bruce's room with him that...it happened again.

bruce welcomes tim. he lifts the cover and...bruce enjoys have tim is his arms while his heart slows down to a normal speed after his orgasms. tim cuddles close and his hair smells nice and minty from his shampoo as bruce buries his nose in it.

the next night bruce doesn't need to make the trek to tim's room a few doors down. he just rolls over tim in bed and fucks that hot little cunt until he's satisfied until his thumb and fingers have brutally squeezed every little orgasm out of tim. that's when bruce stretches, lays back, and breathes steadily as tim whimpers at his side and squirms closer. bruce comforts tim, weaves fingers into his hair, and gently strokes his back while listening to all the sounds that would get his dick hard if he wasn't so spent.

[lunapwrites]

Monthly(ish) Reading - September

Okay so we're clearly a bit late here. There's been a lot going on this month, what with *everything.*

I'm trying something different this go round, because I've found that all my decks have a different "voice" and perspective, and things they tend to focus on. So I thought that since I'm at such a loss right now, I could benefit from a council of sorts lol. As such, I am pulling from all three of my main decks right now, and forgoing the runes and oracle cards since those are for providing flavor, and I already know what the flavor is for this month (terrible.)

So without further ado...

I swear I shuffled that first one.

The first thing that jumps out here is holy shit wands and cups. There's a lot of emotional shit going on, a lot of energy and volatility. However, the effect is largely muted: fire (wands) and water (cups) tend to cancel each other out. So where does this leave us?

ARCHEON: overall positive. This deck likes to focus on my personal relationships, and this is no different. I'm in a place of great change right now but I've generally been taking it all on the chin with as much grace and courage as can be expected. My relationships are a support at the moment and not a burden. If anything, I could stand to lean on my partner a little more. A solid foundation to work from.

CROW: Still a little new to this one and feeling out where its focus is but uh. Jesus fuck. I'm in a delicate balancing act rn. There is conflict brewing right now, which on its own wouldn't be too dire - generally a talk to out issue normally - but unfortunately the wheel keeps wheeling which is specifically a lot of cycle of life bullshit right now. Lots of life and death happening, sunrise sunset, yada yada. To me and around me, specifically. It's a lot. And my mental state ain't great right now. We are probably careening headfirst towards a breakdown of catastrophic proportions. Very cool.

LINESTRIDER: tends to be a little more external, so we're looking at what's around me. Page of Cups? That's Bean. That's always been Bean. We once again have conflict, echoing Crow that it's primarily going to be conflict with communication and ideas/beliefs, which tracks. Hanged Man is begging me to pump the breaks and take a deep breath: let these things sort themselves out instead of trying to control every little thing. (Did my partner write this?) I have great support around me, everything I could possibly need or want. But I can't see the forest for the trees right now and I'm ignoring all of those good things in my life because I'm focusing only on the bad. [Points at self in mirror] Stop that. Like, yes, shit has been bad recently. I've taken a lot of emotional hits. But Jesus Christ. Get out of your head. Breathe.

So to kind of triangulate the messaging here, nothing is actually as catastrophic as it appears rn, and I desperately need to shift my mindset and start faking it just to make it for a bit because if I can't pull myself out of the swamp of sadness here, imma make like Artax and fucking drown in it. And no one can do that for me unfortunately which really sucks because I'm just. Exhausted.

Anyway that aside this was a neat exercise, I feel like I just sat down for an intervention with myself lol. Let's do this again for the next crisis lol.

[dracocheesecake]

Daiyu Fun Facts Because I refuse to write Jaded Destiny:

She was 55 when she died (was murdered).

When she was alive, she had a bad tendency to stress eat, or eat things she wasn't supposed to (small objects, paint, candy wrappers, etc.).

Plays with things she holds, or gestures with her hands alot. When she was young, her mother used to scold her for playing with her fan by opening and closing it too often- Daiyu also opens and closes her fists very rapidly and tightly when she's angry, to the point of accidentally stabbing her palms with her claws.

She folds her arms behind her back most of the time to avoid this. She copied it from her father, who she used to imitate.

When she hatched, her melanistic scales were actually seen as an auspicious sign, as black in ancient China was a lucky color, representing authority.

Daiyu was a weird baby, and only grew to be a weirder little girl and an even weirder adult.

She was always climbing trees around her home as a child, or straight up climbing along the walls and balancing on balconies to do flips off of them (and ended up scaring her parents).

She also used to swim in the lake so often her parents had to practically dive into the waters themselves to fetch her out. As an adult Daiyu swam from one end of the lake to another as "light exercise".

As Night Warrior, Daiyu would sleep all day. She also snores extremely loud.

Daiyu always loved children. She wanted some of her own, but never settled down.

Had quite a few boyfriends, and broke up with all of them, but on good terms. Her first boyfriend was a rhino.

Became Night Warrior as a young adult, after an unexpected bandit raid on her village. No casualties, and they only took things and money, but it rattled Daiyu so horribly because she realized just how vulnerable her city was, and decided it would never happen again.

Actually pretty buff for her species.

Doesn't fight using kung fu- it wasn't invented yet when she died. Her fighting style is more ab-libbed, relying on balance and using the opponents' weight and weakness against them- to subdue, not harm.

Had a bad dog allergy when she was alive. Dog hair would make her sneeze, cough, and also make her eyes really itchy.

Daiyu actively tried to work to rehabilitate the criminals she captured, instead of just tossing them in prison- some, of course, refused to change their ways, but others gladly gave up the life of crime when she offered them legitimate jobs or aid.

Daiyu tried to get Min to reform several times- she always refused, though the rest of her gang dropped off into better lives one by one.

Despite almost always keeping a flat tone of voice and a blank facial expression, she was known to have a sense of humor- a bizzare, often times dark one, and also cracked unexpected puns.

Earned a "colorful vocabulary" from her mother.

As a Spirit Warrior, whenever she breathes in cold air, the warm breath only streams from her right nostril.

Daiyu was scared of the dark as a child.

Aerial silk dancer in her youth. She used the skills later on as Night Warrior- was really handy when she jumped from one rooftop to another, or swinging from various wires or hangings in the city. (Didn't stop her from occasionally crashing into walls, though).

Loves salty foods. Also savory, but will eat anything.

[tennessoui]

I’m so curious to your writing process! I wish I could write as much as you do! Do you write using Word, Google Doc, Scrivener, etc? Have dedicated time in front of a keyboard and screen? Type on your phone? What’s your secret?

I’m incredibly bad at prioritization and 8 times out of 10, I am the first to try and give up an irl obligation in favor of something I’m very familiar with (like sitting in my room or at a coffeeshop writing instead lol) — my current job is mostly work from home so if I’m feeling up for it, I can write between tasks. Unless there’s something horribly wrong with a draft or it unless it feels wrong to me as I write, I almost never edit further than fixing a couple of words and punctuation in ao3 during my read through right before posting; if I’m on a bus and no one’s sitting next to me (rare) I’ll try to type a bit; when I’m running for exercise, I usually try to work over stories in my brain and try to write certain pieces of dialogue or beats by repeating them so often I have them memorized and can write them down in my notes app or Google docs when I get back)

The ONLY thing I think is a good part of my writing process is that I almost always do some form of writing warm up where I write a little ficlet of something that is its own story or set in its own au completely separate from my main project and after 1-2k I’m ready to work on the actual thing I want to work on — I cannot stress enough how much I support writing warm ups for writers!!! Artists who draw don’t usually just jump into their wip! They sketch a bit first to get loose and feel creative!!!

the rest of my writing process is literally a garbage can on fire and should not at all be envied

[insteadofwritingmythesis]

I need to write my thesis so instead of writing my thesis i will write about this song that stuck in my tummy. Song is called "Stuck in a Sports Bra" by Mossy Rock. Before reading my rumbling you should listen it.

After couple of listen, i felt this urge to write about it. In surface the surface this is a silly tiktok song about sports bra. Which is totally cool. I am a huge believer of entartained by shallow things, not everything has to have meanings, we can enjoy things just as they are. And if you please you can just do that. You can listen this silly little song and continue your internet surfing. But i would like to deepdive little bit, risking being cringe. ( The word cringe doesn't exist in my language so using word 'cringe' is also cringe, for your information).

The song starts with an amazing comedic contrast. This girl with obviously classicaly trained voice (maybe she didnt, i don't know) sings about very normal, almost boring, situation with this very emotional piano. So it is already funny. Also it is very relatable; yes indeed, stranger on the internet, i also got stuck in a sports bra. She goes "you might just fit but then you are never getting it off" and in my mind it goes funnier. Actually rest of the song just gets more relateble and more funnier. I can't stop laugh. But the way she sing and the way she plays the piano you can't help feel emotional. I shouldn't feel emotional though, this is a funny song made for views, right ? I think everyone reading this piece already can see where this piece is going. Are you rolling your eyes and yelling me to just get to the point. Okey, i will get to the point.

To all of your suprise i actually think this song has deeper meanings. I don't know if this was the artist's intention. I go and check her spotify she has other songs in this style. I guess she likes making silly songs with emotional melody.

You can check her out if you want. Or don't, ireally don't care. Only thing i care is how this song makes me feel as a girl and then as a woman. As a girl you always feel stuck. Boys are also very welcome to feel like this but as a girl i only know me and the girls, so i would very like to talk about from girl point of view. So as i said as a girl you always feel like got stuck and you cam't get out. And the reason you are stuck in this tiny disgusting bathrom called life is because you are a girl. For fucks sake ( İ dpnt know what does this mean, i only used becasue saying fuck is cool) if i were not a girl i wouldn't have to wear this tiny bra.

When i was younger i would associate being weak, dumb snd everything bad. I was always a petite weak girl that no one take serious (me not having anything serious to say is not related). I hated being weak, being dumb, being slow so i hated being a woman. But i was a woman. Or worse i was a girl. So i was stuck in my worst fears. Like that girl stuck in toilet. She didn't chose to have boobs, i didn't chose to be girl. You might say well, she shouldn't have been fat. Then i might say having an annoying boobs is not related to being fat, and also being fat is not a crime you little shit. Having boobs are very intresting thing, once you are a little who wants to have boobs ( because being a adult girl is better than being a little girl no one listens. Everyone listens adults, no doubt) and second you have some fat tissue hanging out of your chest out og nowhere. Suddenly you can't run, you can't jump rope, rou can't wear clothes you like, you can't lay down, you get pain out of blue and you are just ashamed to exist. You feel like everyone is looking at you but you also feel like a narcissist to think anyone would bother to look at you. But lets say this girl in the bathrom is just fat. I would like to point out the only reason she is trying to wear sports bra is she wants to exercise. She is trying to lose some weight but she is getting punished. From the "this is what happens when i exercise " part we can understand this is not the first time she exercised nor the first time she got punished for it. She is ashamed and stuck in this disgusting toilet and she will never exercise anymore. She would rather sit on a couch and eat crisps. Because it is easy, comforting and sometimes the only thing you can do without hurting yourself or your pride. And it is such a shame because she enjoys exercising, especially cardio because it is good for her and it makes her demons go away temporarily. But she will never exercise aanymore because whenever she is got punished with pain and humiliation. A humilliation that is so big that you would rather dislocate you elbow and die here sweating on the bathroom floor. Humiliation of being a girl. She could have easily ask for help, cut the bra. But first of all this bra belongs to someone and they are kind of expensive. Also you are in such a vulnerable position right know, both physically and mentally.First of aşş your boobs are haning , you don't want antone to see that and second of all am is just gonna admit i failed being a basic human. No, no one wants that. I don't want that. I was already weak all my life. But as a girl you can't help it. This world didn't designed for you, and nobody informed how you should function. So you just try, try and try like fish stuck in a shore. So either you can die or sea can show mercy and some waves to save you. But do you want to be saved like that ? There is Turkish song by Teoman, it goes like this "Aşk kırıntısıyla doymaktansa tek başıma aç kalırım bu hayatta". It means; I would rather stay hungry all alone than survive with love crumbs. Even tough this lyric is fully about romantic love it fis for so many things.

To conclude this song reminds me girlhood and how much you misplaced you feel even though how much you try to fit. Maybe everything is so on the nose and it didn't need explanation. But i don't care because as like Sait Faik "Yazmasam deli olacaktım". This all i got to say about this song, for now. Have a nice day. At least better than that girl stuck in tiny bathroom.

[fitspressolabel]

Fitspresso Weight Loss Supplement - Does It Work?

What Is FitSpresso?

Have you ever stared in the mirror for extensive lengths of time after your shower and then turned away frowning? Have you ever fitspresso weight loss supplement felt that that gut of yours is insurmountable? Well you are not alone. This article will help you turn that frown upside down and trim down that waist line.

A great way to lose weight is to prepare your meals the night before. When you prepare your meals the night before, you won't have to rush to get to work or wherever you're going and you'll always guarantee yourself to have something healthy to eat when you're hungry.

A simple way to stay on task when it comes to weight loss is to have someone promise to do these things with you. Having a friend that is also eating healthier and exercising along with you can motivate you to keep going, even if its under the obligation of your promise. Also, this way, not everyone around you is eating the fatty foods you can barely resist.

To help you lose weight, add walking into your day. Do you have children you pick up from school? Simply park a few blocks away instead of picking them up at the front door of the school. Do you commute to work by car? Park as far away as possible from your work and walk the rest of the way. Do you catch the bus to work? Pick a bus stop that is a block or two farther away from your home. Invest a little time and a few dollars for good walking shoes and walk those pounds away by adding additional walking time into your day.

How Does It Work?

A great way to help you lose weight is to invest in a heart rate monitor. Getting your heart rate in the right zone is an important way of fitspresso canada getting the most out of the cardio that you do. By using a heart rate monitor, you'll know exactly how you're doing.

Make sure you are exercising, when you are striving toward your weight loss goals. You don't want to exercise just to exercise either, you want to make every workout count. Remember, it is the quality of the workout that counts and not the quantity. You can walk all day and although it may help in reducing your weight, running will help you lose weight even faster.

When losing weight do not focus too much on the actual fact that you must lose weight. Just keep your focus on the fact that you are eating right because it is a much more healthy lifestyle. This will have you losing weight at a more rapid pace.

Are you getting ENOUGH calories? One of the biggest weight loss "killers" is caloric intake. Do not skip a meal. Your first meal of the day should be the biggest and healthiest. It is the meal that will jump start your metabolism and set the tone for the day.

Is It Safe To Use?

A great weight loss tip is to avoid fitspresso customer reviews drinking sodas or other sugary drinks. These can add hundreds of calories to your diet on a daily basis that you do not need. Instead, switch to water. You'll be saving yourself hundreds of calories per day, and you will begin to drop the pounds like crazy.

One of the best and most effective ways to keep yourself motivated is to regularly document your progress, even if it is slower than you'd like. Once or twice per month, jot down the results of your body measurements, BMI, or bench press and compare them against your end goal. This holds you accountable and provides the motivation needed to reach your goal.

Keeping a journal or a diary is a great way to keep track of your diet. Some of the benefits of writing things down include: knowing what you like to eat, knowing which foods are not working for you, and looking back periodically to see how far you've traveled on this weight-loss journey.

When you're on fitspresso side effects a diet, you don't have to stand in front of a mirror and convince yourself of your self-worth, but you do have to learn to love yourself and who you are becoming. The fact here is that you have to love yourself and actually want to get fit and healthy. If you can't do that, your diet is going to fail.

Is It A Proven Weight Loss Supplement?

To boost the rate at which you lose weight, just add flax to your diet. Sprinkling flax on your oatmeal or chicken noodle soup not only adds a light, nutty taste to your meal, it also adds more fiber to your diet. The added fiber helps fill you up quicker and it has only 35 calories per tablespoon. Flax also provides omega-3 fatty acids which promotes cardiac health.

If you're pregnant, make sure you're not fitspresso customer reviews bbb on any kind of weight loss diet. You don't want to lose weight during this critical time. If you're dieting and trying to lose weight you're not only depriving yourself of nutrients, but you're depriving the baby of nutrients. Don't forget that you're eating for two (or three!) when you're pregnant.

Eat smaller portions of food. Instead of eating 3 hugely portioned meals each day, divide your intake into 5 smaller portioned meals. In between these meals, provide yourself with healthy snacks. This will keep your blood sugar levels properly regulated and lead to you not overeating, which will result in more fat intake.

If you have cravings when you're doing a certain activity, like watching TV, then you need to do something different. It may just be the time of day you're doing that activity that causes the craving, most likely because you've always had an unhealthy snack at that time while doing whatever you're doing.

Conclusion:

Your mirror does not have to be your enemy. With the tips and advice offered in this article, it can soon be your friend, as you stare into it smiling thinking, "Wow I look amazing today, I am so glad I read that article." Now that you've finished reading this, get off the computer and go work on shedding those pounds.

[imnatasha]

Is It Possible to See Keto Diet Weight Loss After 1 Month

Hey there! So, you're curious about this thing called the keto diet, right? Well, let me break it down for you in simple terms.

The keto diet is a special way of eating that helps people lose weight. It's all about eating foods that are low in carbs and high in fat. And guess what? Lots of people have seen some pretty amazing weight loss results in just one month!

But hold on a sec! Remember, everyone is different, so your experience may not be exactly the same. Keep that in mind, okay?

Now, let's talk about why the keto diet works so well for weight loss. First, it makes your body burn fat instead of carbs. When you eat fewer carbs, your body goes into a state called ketosis. In ketosis, your body uses fat for energy instead of carbs. Cool, right?

Second, the keto diet can help you feel full and satisfied because of all the high-fat foods you get to eat. It's like a yummy feast!

Third, the keto diet can actually make your body better at using a hormone called insulin. Insulin helps your body use sugar for energy, but when you have too much of it, you can gain weight. The keto diet helps improve how your body uses insulin, which can help you lose weight.

Now, before you jump into the keto world, it's important to chat with your doctor. The keto diet isn't right for everyone, so it's best to make sure it's safe for you.

Here are a few tips to help you get started on the keto diet for weight loss:

1. Set realistic goals. Don't expect to shed a ton of weight in just one month. Aim for 1-2 pounds per week instead.

2. Keep track of your progress. Write down your weight, what you eat, and your exercise. It helps you stay focused.

3. Patience is key. Remember, the keto diet takes time to show results. Don't get discouraged if you don't see instant changes.

4. Make sure you're getting enough nutrients. The keto diet can sometimes leave you lacking in certain vitamins and minerals, so be mindful of that.

By following these tips, you increase your chances of seeing some amazing weight loss results on the keto diet after just one month!

Oh, and let me give you some extra info about the keto diet:

- The keto diet means eating foods that are high in fat, moderate in protein, and low in carbs.

- The goal is to get your body into a state called ketosis.

- Ketosis is when your body burns fat instead of carbs for energy.

- When you're in ketosis, your body produces something called ketones, which can fuel your brain and other organs.

- Before starting the keto diet, it's important to talk to your doctor, as there can be some side effects like tiredness, queasiness, and constipation.

- If you experience any side effects, don't hesitate to have a chat with your doctor.

Now, let's talk about what foods you can enjoy on the keto diet:

- Meat

- Fish

- Eggs

- Non-starchy veggies

- Healthy fats like olive oil, avocado oil, and nuts

- Some dairy products like cheese and cream

And here are the foods you should avoid:

- Grains

- Sugar

- Starchy veggies like potatoes, corn, and carrots

- Legumes

- Fruits

- Some dairy products like milk and yogurt

If you're thinking about trying the keto diet, be sure to do your research and talk to your doctor. It can be a healthy and effective way to lose weight, but it's important to make sure it's the right choice for you.

Take care, and good luck on

Click here to start Your weight journey

[keefwho]

January 02 - 2023

9:17 AM

I want to avoid everything lewd today unless I have to get ravenously horny. I haven’t been treating it like a special occasion like I’ve been wanting to. It’s just too easy to check e621 and such when I’m bored AF doing nothing. Today I won’t though, it’s a wholesome day. Unless I get real down bad. 

9:40 AM

I forge that as long as I am diligent about getting “out there” and doing the things I enjoy, I’ll inevitably make connections with people. Whether it’s with my current friends or new ones. Isolating myself grants me no progress. 

4:10 PM

The biggest problem with my art is that I used to jump into any idea I wanted to do without worrying too much about failing. These days I have a mindset that considers if something is within my skill level, mostly because it seems wise to consider that for commissions and thats most of what I draw. I want to open myself back up to doing obscure ideas that might be out of my skill range. I used to take pride in approaching any drawing with confidence knowing there MUST be a way to do it if only I can figure out how. 

12:13 AM

I’ve noticed I KEEP forgetting important things, having a crisis about it, and then remembering a core concept that prevents that exact kind of crisis. The problem is I don’t see a way I can internalize and constantly remind myself of every concept. Simply writing them down and reading them doesn’t quite work. I usually have to become re-enlightened to it when it is needed. Maybe I’m doing this right and the more it happens, the more they will solidify. 

This isn’t crisis related but I’ve slowly forgotten to let my actions speak instead of my words. This is something I’ve noticed is very common in others as well. Notably when artists frequently say something like “I’m going to draw X” and never do. I’ve fallen victim to this kind of thing as well but not to a great extent. I’ve found it much more rewarding to not say a word about my ideas and actually draw them instead in order to make them known. That way the impeding satisfaction of getting feedback motivates the drawing rather than getting that sweet recognition without even doing anything simply because you said you would. Announcing it also gives the expectation that you will do it which can hamper the actual process. 

Right now projecting myself as an individual is a big priority. I want to let my creativity shine through and my ideas be heard. I want to stand on my own so I don’t fall as easily when I can’t rely on others. I’ve also noticed feeling like a complete person helps in my relationships. It turns from -trying to blend in- to -being myself and blending in naturally because I find people with similar interests-. Or maybe I’m overthinking and overcomplicating what could be boiled down to “low self confidence.” My confidence was low for awhile though so I didn’t feel like I was worth much. Then I try to be worth something instead of realizing I already am. 

Today went extremely well, I was VERY productive and I felt good. I finished commissions on time for once, ate good meals, did yoga and exercise, worked on personal projects, hung out with friends, relaxed, and jerked off GIGA hard. I know tomorrow probably won’t be as good as today simply because of how well today went but I’ll try not to let myself think that means I’m having a bad day or am on the downhill. Every day I’m just doing the best I can. If I try my hardest, thats all that should matter to me. I should remember to be realistic and not push myself too hard, as if I was trying not to push a friend too hard. 

[carriesthewind]

Hello tumblr! I am here to discuss some drama today! (Oh dear god I can't believe that this is what got me to finally join tumblr.)

As you may know, AO3 recently suspended a writer’s account, and the writer isn’t happy about it. They have made several public posts about it, including a very long post responding to the letter they received from AO3 in response to their appeal to lift the suspension. Now, I’m not particularly familiar with this writer. I’ve heard their name enough to recognize it, I know I have heard some rumors about them – some good, some bad. But I have never read their writing or their tumblr before, and I didn’t have any preconceived opinions about them.

But since this drama has entered my orbit from multiple sources, I decided to do a close read of their post responding to AO3. I do this fairly regularly, as a mental exercise to practice making myself a more careful consumer of media in general, social media in particular. But close-reading this particular post made me angry enough that felt the need to write up my analysis and share it.

A few disclaimers and notes before we begin:

First, I am just going to refer to the person under discussion as the “writer” – I include this person’s user name in a screenshot, so am not hiding their identity, but I’m not doing this to target them. This is an analysis of two of their posts, not of their life or online activity outside of the post.

Second, I am going to be giving the writer every benefit of the doubt I can, and am starting my reading by assuming they are acting in good faith.

Third, I am going to take the text under discussion under its own terms as much as possible, without referring to outside content. I am going to be analyzing two posts by the writer; the long post they made in response to AO3’s reply, and a shorter post that they made that long post in reply to. The exceptions to this will be the TOS of AO3, since they are central to the dispute, and a few other posts by the writer on the same subject. I will be using those other posts only when I need them to understand the writer’s argument in the main post we are looking at.  

Let’s begin.

There’s two things that jump out at me from this paragraph right away. First, if we look at AO3’s TOS, there is a clear path for filing an appeal, and there is no right to a response from being pinged on Tumblr or responding to messages through other venues. There is also no deadline for the team to respond to an appeal. In fact, the TOS repeatedly note that they cannot guarantee a speedy response. Given the size of the archive, five days seems far from unreasonable.

However, this waiting period would absolutely be frustrating, and it is entirely understandable that the writer would be frustrated and angry. Speaking personally, I know that I have angrily tried to contact a company via non-official means when I felt they had wronged me and were refusing to respond to my official messages. The writer isn’t doing anything wrong here by reaching out this way and being upset at the delay – but AO3 isn’t doing anything wrong by not replying to these messages, either.

Second, this sentence, “My legally copyrighted property under the terms of Fair Use is still in kidnapped status, which is not actually legal”? This sentence is nonsense. It is so nonsense that whenever I look away my brain rewrites it. It is so nonsense I am not going to even try to break down the very many ways it is wrong, because that would double the length of this monster of a post. I will instead just state: by agreeing to AO3's TOS, the writer has agreed to allow their account to be suspended under the TOS, and the writer’s work still belongs to the writer and can be removed (more on that later) and reposted (or not removed and reposted) anywhere else.

The important things about this sentence for our close reading are as follows: 1) the writer is using a bunch of legal jargon in a way that is irrelevant and inaccurate (the alternative, which is worse, is they are lying and they know it); 2) as a corollary, the writer is talking confidently and forcefully about the situation in ways that do not accurately describe the situation (either out of ignorance, confusion, or a deliberate desire to mislead); and 3) the writer is using charged and exaggerating language to describe the situation.

Number 1 will be important shortly; for now, just keep it in mind.

Number 2 doesn’t necessarily imply bad faith; as noted, they could be talking out of ignorance or misspeaking, or some combination of both, due to the emotionally charged situation. Even though they haven’t lost their content (because they haven’t), people’s writing is very important to them; it is understandable that someone who has lost some control over the distribution of their writing would feel upset! (Please note that this is true regardless of whether the suspension was appropriate, justified, or correct - punishments hurt, by definition!) Rather, it is important because it makes clear that even if the writer has best of intentions, the way they are writing about this situation is not entirely accurate. It is entirely possible that this is the only thing about their situation that they will be wrong about - especially since legal rights and issues are extremely complicated and most people struggle to fully understand them. However, it is still an early indication to keep our eye on, moving forward. (It is also worth noting that this kind of legal misrepresentation is extremely commonly used by people who are NOT acting in good faith. This alone is not enough to assume bad faith - again, legal issues are complicated - but it is something to keep an eye on when reading posts like this.)

Number 3 is referring mostly to the use of “kidnapped” to describe the status of their works. This is not remotely accurate, for reasons which I will dive into more later. It is, however, highly emotionally charged language that indicates a couple of possibilities, any or all of which may be present. First, it could indicate, like the last point, a writer who is (again, understandably!) upset and is expressing how the situation FEELS to them, even if that feeling doesn’t match reality. Secondly, it could be the writer trying to using metaphorical language to get the reader to understand how serious the situation feels to them. Third, it could indicate a desire (conscious or unconscious) to appeal to the reader’s emotions over their logic, so they will be more likely to go along with the writer’s characterization of the situation.

The overall impression from where we are starting is this: we have a writer who is (again, understandably) extremely upset at a suspension that may or may not be justified and appropriate - so far we have no evidence either way. We have likewise no evidence that either party is acting inappropriately. However, we do have indications that the writer appears to either not correctly understand, or is (accidentally or on purpose), mischaracterizing at least some elements of the situation.

So, let’s move on to the long post.

We start with the knowledge that we do not have AO3’s whole response; there are sections that are left out that may or may not be relevant. This isn’t necessarily bad or wrong - there may be lots of good reasons not to include the full text. However, it is worth keeping in mind when we are assessing the situation.

More important is the description of AO3’s letter as, “full of fun jargon.” We will review the provided text ourselves, but AO3 generally does an admirable job trying to use as little jargon and legalese as reasonable possible, and I would include the provided text of the response in that assessment. Still, given that is a formal response to a TOS violation appeal, it does use a lot of formal language and some legal language.

However, this is an interesting complaint for the writer to make, given Number 1 above (I promised we would come back to that!). It’s a sharp contrast for the writer to use lot of legal jargon to complain about AO3 and then turn around and promptly complain about AO3 using jargon. Again, this isn’t necessarily a sign of bad faith. It is entirely possible that the writer, as described above, is confused and upset and using language they think they understand (but don’t) to express their feelings, and since they don’t understand legal language, they see the AO3 response as including a lot of jargon. However, using charged legalistic language themselves while characterizing their opponent as using “jargon” is another flag to keep an eye on. Again, in the best case scenario, this is someone who is clearly quite (reasonably!) emotional and whose characterization of at least some aspects of the situation is questionable.

This response by the writer is….confusing?

The writer seems to be arguing that punishing them for failing to comply with the TOS makes them unable to comply with the TOS right away so therefore…people shouldn’t ever be suspended for commercial content violations? I don’t think this is what the writer is arguing, because it’s not reasonable (and in some of their posts, they make it clear that they don’t believe that), but I can’t make any other sense of this paragraph.

According to their TOS, if AO3 finds a sufficiently serious violation, it can hide or delete violating content. But based on the previous “kidnapped” comments, the writer would presumable be upset (is upset?) if the works were altered or removed from public view by AO3 unless they specifically asked them to. So I’m not sure what the writer would want AO3 to do in response to a commercial content-based TOS violation.

This first quoted paragraph is being positioned by the writer as indicating some problem with AO3’s process, either in general or in this specific case, but so far, there is no actual evidence of that.

I also want to note here – this paragraph seems to be confirming that the TOS violations were valid, and the writer is just disputing their seriousness, not their existence. But to be fair, I checked some of their other posts on the topic to confirm this reading. Although they dispute the interpretations of some of the reported violations as incorrect, they do admit that at least one of the reported violations was accurate.

We are not provided this mitigating information, but the writer will include some arguments later that would seem to be the mitigating evidence, and I will address it then. I will note here - it is very common for an aggrieved party to say that a system that punished them ignored evidence they presented. While sometimes this is true, often the system reviews the evidence they present, and decides not to rule in their favor anyway. Here, for example, we see that AO3’s response notes that the suspension will not be lifted unless the writer furnishes mitigating information “that would have changed our initial determination.” So AO3 might have ignored the mitigating information, or they might have reviewed it and determined it would not have changed their decision (e.g.: they already knew about it, it wasn’t determined credible, it wasn’t determined relevant, etc.). Also note that we, seeing the mitigating information, could think that AO3 was incorrect if they reviewed the proffered mitigating info and did not rescind the suspension, but that is not the same as AO3 ignoring it. We, as readers of the post, don’t know which of these options occurred - and neither does the writer. While it is understandable that the poster is not giving AO3 the same kind of good faith that we are trying to give them (aggrieved parties don’t have to assign good faith to people they believe have wronged them!), it once again colors our understanding of how the writer is characterizing AO3’s response.

This starts with an interesting claim! That is, that AO3 acknowledged in the letter that the writer has “a history of immediately complying.” This isn’t in the excerpt of the letter that we have. Because this claim is immediately below the above excerpt from AO3's letter, it appears that the writer is misconstruing the statement, “While we appreciate your willingness to remove the violating content immediately, you must first serve your suspension to its completion before you are able to edit your works.” This sentence isn’t claiming the writer has a history of complying, it is clearly responding to the writer’s stated willingness *in this case* to edit their content to comply. If the writer is deliberately misconstruing the letter this way, that’s deeply troubling, because it shows they are both trying to make AO3 look bad (see the rest of the paragraph) and twisting their own bad behavior (note that they here acknowledge past instances of breaking the TOS) in a way that makes them look good, actually (“assist[ing] the Archive in keeping things to their TOS standard”). This is really, really, bad behavior if it is deliberate. It would be a deliberate lie to preempt their audience’s recognition of their misdeeds and frame themself as a victim of a malicious actor.

HOWEVER. That is not the only interpretation of this claim. The writer is not necessarily deliberately misconstruing the letter - again, they are reasonably upset at the situation, they’ve stated they have found the letter to be full of jargon (and thus potentially may be struggling to parse some of it), and it is possible they are responding quickly without carefully reading the letter. Alternatively, they have stated that they are only posting certain sections of the letter - it is entirely possible that AO3 acknowledges “a history of immediately complying” somewhere else in the letter. Now, even in that case, the writer is clearly attempting to reframe evidence of their past violations as evidence of their victimhood (promptly removing TOS violating content is the bare minimum of what should be expected by an AO3 user). Again, that may be a genuine (and natural!) emotional reaction, but we continue to see the thread that the writer’s characterization of (now multiple) aspects of the situation are both inaccurate and biased to see themselves as victimized.

Which leads us to the poster’s response to the next excerpt.

Here the writer acknowledges again that they have at least one previous TOS violation. They include an except from AO3’s letter that clearly shows that they were explicitly told that failing to remove commercial promotion material from their account might result in a temporary suspension. Noticeably, although they have and will continue to frame themselves as the victim of an unfair process: 1) they do not dispute they were previously in violation of the policy, and were let off with just a warning. 2) They do not dispute that since that warning, they continued to have commercial promotion material on their account. 3) They do not dispute the content of the warning. 4) They do not dispute that they received or understood this warning.

Instead, the poster disputes that the warning…wasn’t official enough? They do not indicate how or what AO3 should have done to make it “official” - likely because it is extremely clear that this was a previous warning, and spelling out an alternative would make the absurdity of this complaint clear. It is at this point that we can no longer proceed assuming that the poster is writing solely in good faith. While we cannot assume they are deliberately trying to mislead their audience or that they do not have legitimate complaints, they are at least deeply in denial and stuck in a victimization perspective and that must inform our reading of their post.

Their second complaint with this section is just as ridiculous and telling as their first. AO3’s abuse policy is NOT a 3 strikes policy, as it is explicitly designed for flexibility, so that an account may be let off with multiple warnings, or may be suspended at the first violation, depending on the assessed severity of the violation. Nothing in the quoted section of the letter contradicts this flexibility. In fact, it directly supports the existence of this flexibility, by writing that further TOS violations “might,” not “will,” trigger a suspension. The writer is just wrong, and we can see they are wrong by simply reading the text they are replying to. This can only be read as either a deliberate mischaracterization of both the letter and the TOS, or as someone so far in denial that their characterization of the situation cannot be relied upon and no information they give can be fully trusted without external supporting evidence.

(As a note on my own biases in writing this analysis: this is where I personally ran out of patience with the writer, although I have tried to maintain a more even tone in this analysis.)

The writer may still have legitimate critiques of AO3’s actions and response (for example, they can still argue that such a flexible system is bad in general, or that there were mitigating circumstances that should have caused the suspension to be lifted/not imposed in their particular case), but they are not, in this section at least, making such a legitimate argument.

Their critique of the non time-limited nature of AO3’s response to TOS violations also indicates a fundamental misunderstanding (whether genuine or deliberate) of the *problem* of a TOS violation, especially of a commercial promotion TOS violation. AO3 is an *archive* - it explicitly exists to preserve fan works and provide access to them. It doesn’t matter, from AO3’s perspective, when a commercial promotion is first posted - it matters that it is currently accessible. A commercial promotion violation does not occur solely when a user posts it - it is an ongoing violation that continues to occur for as long as the promotion remains accessible. Furthermore, the structure of AO3 is such that it relies on individual users to maintain their works in compliance with the TOS. We can imagine an archive that works differently. This hypothetical archive could have works reviewed by archive staff before being accepted into entry in the archive, would not allow works to be modified except with the approval of staff, and would allow works to be modified by staff without the users’ knowledge or consent. However, 1) this is not the TOS the writer agreed to when they posted their works on AO3 and 2) given this writer’s expressed desire for control over their own work in this very post, this would not be an archive the writer would want to use.

People can still have legitimate disagreements about whether and how the date that a violation was originally posted on should affect sanctions for that violation, and disagreements over whether the sanctions were appropriately applied in any particular case. It isn't a problem for the author to assert that they think AO3's policy should be different. It is a problem for them to mischaracterize what the policy is and mislead their audience about why a policy exists.

Once again, AO3 is describing a policy that is entirely reasonable. However, in this section the writer finally moves on to the potentially legitimate claim that the policy is being enforced in a draconian way. They advance two arguments to support this claim.

This is actually one of their better responses, because their arguments, while very hostile, are potentially legitimate complaints that support their claim of draconian enforcement in their case! (Please note I am not asserting their complaints are accurate, however - more on that in a moment.)

The first claim is that an official AO3 staff member previously checked every one of their existing fics to try to ensure that they did not violate AO3’s TOS. The writer relied on this assurance going forward, so should not be sanctioned with a suspension. This is a part of the post that, in the interests of good faith, I will discuss with the added context of another post by this writer, since the claim isn't fully or clearly expressed in the above post, and it is their best argument in favor of their mistreatment. I am also going to assume that this was the mitigation that they referred to submitting to AO3 and claim was ignored.

If the poster is characterizing this previous interaction correctly, they have legitimate reasons to be upset, and I would agree with them that this is the sort of mitigating evidence I would expect would cause a suspension to be lifted if I was the person making decisions.

…here’s the problem, though. While I would agree with them that this would be a draconian application of AO3’s polices…it wouldn’t be a violation of AO3’s stated policies in any way. If the AO3 abuse staff member made assurances that to the writer that all their posted content was clear of TOS violations, that would be counter to AO3's TOS, which makes it clear that it does not do pre-emptive reviews. It would be legitimately frustrating for this writer to find out that the promise it relied on was incorrect and be punished after relying on it. However, it is impossible for me not to see that from AO3’s perspective, if this staff member really did give this assurance, it means that the writer was given an assurance of preferential treatment over other users. There is a good argument that to continue to give them preferential treatment (that is, to rescind the suspension based on the preferential treatment) would only compound the harm. It’s a legitimately tough situation for both parties to be in. I ultimately continue to see no misconduct on the part of AO3, except potentially in allowing an official staff member to give misleading preferential treatment (I say potentially because we have no further information about what actions AO3 took to correct this harm/punish the staff member), and also understand why the writer is reasonably furious at the archive.

…or rather, that would be the problem, if we could continue to read this post solely in good faith. Unfortunately, by the time we reach this explanation, as stated above, we know that the writer is either deliberately lying in this post, or deeply in denial leading to them mischaracterization the situation. Because of what we have already seen, we cannot take their description of the alleged staff member or their actions as accurate without at least some external supporting evidence.

We are given no such evidence, either in this post or in any of the others I have reviewed. Rather, the provided evidence contradicts it, albeit subtly. Remember that we noted how the poster did not dispute the content of the August 2019 warning AO3 sent them? That warning clearly stated that failing to remove all commercial promotion from their account might result in a suspension. That warning, from AO3 (not a single independent staff member), along with the clear TOS statement that it does not do preemptive reviews, puts the responsibility for removing the violating content squarely on the writer. If that warning wasn’t “official” enough for them to take it seriously…why were they willing to rely on the word of a single person who was breaking AO3 official policy by purporting to prescreen content?

While I lost my patience at the previous paragraph, as noted above, this response is why I actually decided to write and post this analysis. Casually reading this post, the writer’s description of events here sound deeply sympathetic and would lead a casual reader to see them a victim and AO3 as a villain. It is natural (and a good instinct!) to trust people when they tell you they are being mistreated. Unfortunately, sometimes people who feel that they have been mistreated are just seeing the consequences of their own actions catch up to them.

The second potential legitimate complaint is the implied assertion that their violation was not really serious, and should not really be considered a TOS violation (“figurative, imaginative caffeine.”) Unfortunately, the writer has already admitted repeatedly, both in this post and outside of it, that they were in violation of the TOS. Thus, instead of this being a legitimate complaint, it is another indication that the poster is inappropriately mischaracterizing themself to their audience as a maligned victim and AO3 as a villain.

Oh hey, AO3’s letter is reiterating everything I just explained about prescreening! I wonder how the poster will respond.

I’m trying not to be too snarky here, but that is a really damming failure to respond.

So instead of talking about the substantive issue at hand, let’s address this wild change of subject, I guess.

This is again an instance of the writer portraying themselves as a victim, either because they are deliberately trying to maliciously mislead their audience or because they truly believe it. Just to be clear - they are claiming that they are being targeted because someone noticed and reported admitted TOS violations on their “two…most well-know fics in two major fandoms.” If they are claiming they are being targeted by someone acting in bad faith, and therefore the (again, admittedly legitimate!) violation reports are a form of targeted harassment, wouldn’t they have a much better claim if the violations were reported on fics with very low hit counts (so that someone would be less likely to randomly find them)?

And a side note - if these TOS violations were on the poster’s “most well-known fics” in “major fandoms,” that goes directly to the relevance of their ‘the violations were posted a long time ago’ mitigation claim. A well-known fic is more likely to be currently receiving continuing views (remember, the harm the violations are causing is based on people seeing them), and an author who is continuing to get hits/kudos/comments on that work would presumably be aware of its continued popularity, and thus should be aware of the need, after receiving a warning, to make sure to personally review it for violations.

Again, we’ve already addressed this issue repeatedly. So I will just note here that the writer is claiming that it is “actually fucking ridiculous” not to grandfather in active TOS violations. Imagine making this argument in any other context. Imagine an author has a book that they wrote 14 years ago but is still selling. Imagine someone notices this year, for the first time, that the author has extensively plagiarized copyrighted material. They alert the victim, who brings a suit, and the publisher stops publishing the author’s book and refuses to publish any of their other book as well. Does the writer think it is “actually fucking ridiculous” for the publisher to cease publishing the author, simply because the author was able to avoid detection for so long?

(Since I’m not doing much analysis here, let’s talk instead about what the purpose of this portion of the poster’s response might be. I’m putting this as an aside, because this isn’t strictly part of the close reading, and it is absolutely not it the spirit of good faith I am still trying to use. We’re going to look at the effect of this section in context. Let’s start by analyzing the use of the term “you” in this post. When the post began, the writer used “you” to refer to themself (“no matter how willing you are to fix it…etc.”). In the same section, the writer switches to using “you” to refer to AO3 (“if you have fans…”). In the third section, they start by using “you” to refer to AO3 (“You guys are the ones…”) and then switches in the next sentence to directly address the readers (“if any of you following me”). This switch isn’t a casual fluid switch like it was previously - instead, it is positioned in a sentence directly warning the readers that AO3 might come after them next. In the following section, they don’t use the second person, but they do imply (nonsensically) that someone is targeting them with these TOS violation reports. We then catch up with the above section - “they can and will go after you.” Note that the post starts directly addressing the reader at the same time that it builds up an escalating threat. This creates a sense of fear and camaraderie with the writer, positioning reader and writer as “us” against a malicious “them” who is not just targeting the writer, but the readers as well. This makes the reader more sympathetic to the writer, and more likely to believe their claims; after all, “you” know you’re not breaking AO3's TOS, and if “you” did, it would be an accident. How ridiculous for AO3 come after someone like “you” - someone who has broken the TOS multiple times in the past in the same way and has explicitly…been…warned…hmmm…how much like “you” is the poster, actually?)

Anyway,

I’m going to reiterate what I said after the writer’s response to the previous warning letter: what should AO3 have written to make this a warning that the writer would accept as legitimate? This is a bit longer and more detailed, but substantially the same as what was reportedly written in the previous letter. In that context, the poster said it didn’t look like an official warning, it wasn’t clear or serious enough. In this context, substantially the same content in substantially the same tone is recontextualized as too serious, a threat that secretly means AO3 already plans on banning them permanently. To borrow a phrase…"this is actually fucking ridiculous."

Again, if we are reading the post in the best possible light, this is someone who is so emotionally distraught that they have descended into paranoia and are unable to correctly characterize the situation. Alternatively, this reads like someone who deliberately characterizing AO3’s responses to best achieve their own ends. They want this suspension to appear unjustified and unjustifiable, which means they can’t have received clear previous warnings for the same TOS violations they are suspended for - so there was only one warning that wasn’t clear or official enough to give them any real notice. Now, they want to appear as a victim who is being targeted by a system that has it out for them, no matter what they do - so substantially the same warning is a threat that indicates an intent to ban them regardless of what they do next.

And we are back to the beginning: not understanding the first thing about the law and using (at this point I feel safe in saying) deliberately charged language to describe the situation.

(And mischaracterizing the text that is LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM – AO3 isn’t saying it will take a week to respond! It is giving you a week to comply once your suspension is lifted! What do you want it to do, impose further sections if you don’t comply within 12 hours?!?! I mean, if that’s what you’re asking for...)

AO3 is not taking control of the writer’s works. It has control how it chooses to display and store works that the writer has granted it permission to display and store. This is all very clearly laid out in the TOS.

We’ve already addressed that the writer does NOT know that AO3 did not investigate their alleged mitigation evidence. The writer is once again positioning a failure to agree with their position that the suspension should be lifted as a failure by AO3 to read or consider their evidence.

I’m not going to address most of the specifics they list, because I would basically just be repeating myself over and over again with more details and this analysis is already long enough. These specifics might be important, except that the poster has already admitted that they did violate the TOS. Even assuming they are characterizing their email, AO3’s full response, and the “Not Actually Violations” correctly, it doesn’t matter for the purpose of whether they violated the TOS (again) and received a legitimate suspension.

The only specific I will address is their blatant lie at the end: the TOS specifically bans all commercial promotion, NOT just self-promotion. The writer is explicitly, obviously lying - not just misunderstanding, not just mischaracterizing, flat out lying.

We have something in common, finally - I’m really offended too.

So I looked at some other posts for more context about this comment on deleting a work, just to make sure I wasn’t mischaracterizing: the writer apparently, fed up with AO3, wants to delete their works prior to the end of their suspension. Their “inability” to do so appears to be a major basis for their “kidnapping” claims above. This, once again, might be a legitimate complaint - AO3’s TOS does confirm that a suspended user retains the rights to remove their work (subject to certain data storage exceptions to meet AO3’s obligations).

Unfortunately, the poster’s next sentence makes it clear this compliant is not legitimate. The TOS are explicit that the way a suspended user can delete their works is through contacting AO3 administrators. If the poster had requested such delegations and been refused, AO3 would have violated their own TOS. Instead, the user states they just asked AO3 to lift the suspension. There is zero evidence that they asked AO3 to delete their works, and instead are mischaracterizing AO3’s refusal to lift their suspension as a refusal to delete their works, both in this post and elsewhere. I feel like a broken record at this point, but once again, they are mischaracterizing a very clear situation to make themselves look like a victim and AO3 a villain.

An appropriate gif of a petulant, spoiled child to match this closing paragraph. I don’t think I need to say anything else.

[heliads]

Hii I was wondering if you could write a Peter Hayse x Fem!Reader where the transfers are paired with a Dauntless-Born as a training exercise, and everyone wonders why the two get paired together and actually get along. bc she's like super sweet and not at all like Peter. But it turns out she's just as brutal and intense as he is, which is super scary but Peter is super into it - especially bc he doesn't have to fight against her, instead with her.

Ofc you don't have to write this! And you're stuff is amazing 🥰🥰

may not have seen top gun but i can still contribute to the miles teller obsession

masterlist

The initiates have been messing things up again, which might be why today is the way that it is. They’ve all been too loud, too easily distracted. Even Peter Hayes, the one person here who’s trying his hardest to end up on top, is at fault for this as well. 

He can’t even help it, initiation just gets boring sometimes. He never thought he’d find himself saying such a thing, especially since their entrance into Dauntless started with them jumping off of a building, but it’s true. They’ve stuck with the same sort of training schedule for a couple of weeks now, and it’s making Peter lose his mind. 

He’s not the only one losing it, either. All of the transfer initiates are rough at the seams by now, snapping at each other even more than Dauntless training demands. They’re acting out and causing problems, which is probably why Eric Coulter takes it into his head one day that if the trainees want a change, they’ll get one. 

By now, Peter should have learned that Eric’s ideas are rarely fun for anyone who isn’t a training leader, but he still starts to perk up when the man mentions that they’ll be doing something different today. Peter’s good mood starts to flatten, however, when a door opens at the far side of the training complex and the Dauntless-born initiates walk in. This isn’t going to be a joyous afternoon, now, will it?

Eric’s devious grin deepens as if he can sense the desolation currently settling in around the room. Then again, Peter can see it in every other face as well. There’s one former Erudite a few paces away who looks like he’s choking back tears just from brainstorming all the ways that today could go wrong. 

The training leader for the Dauntless-born reaches them, and Eric starts to address the room at large once more. 

“Alright, then. We wanted to switch a few things up, keep you on your toes. Dauntless isn’t meant to be easy, nor routine, so you’d better learn to adapt quickly or you’ll end up somewhere you won’t enjoy half as much as here.”

That place is with the factionless, obviously. Threatening to kick the initiates out of Dauntless is one of Eric’s favorite gimmicks, and he never tires of tossing out the option just to see everyone’s stress level rise. Not Peter, though. He’s not going to let himself do anything but succeed here, no matter what it takes. 

Eric allows himself a brief glance around the room, obviously treasuring the wave of nerves that’s just surfaced, then continues. 

“We’ll be arranging fights between the transfers and the Dauntless-born, all based on your ranks. It’ll work like normal fights do, so get ready to head in the ring the second you hear your name called. Lauren and I will be watching the rounds, so if you want to do anything except drop behind in the rankings, I’d suggest you do your best to win.”

With that bright and cheery statement, Eric and the leader of the Dauntless-born, Lauren, start to announce the first round of fights. Peter considers the Dauntless-born warily, trying to pick out which opponents will be harder to crack than others. 

They all look rough and hardened, but then again, appearances can be deceiving. Just because they were able to dye their hair at an earlier age than Peter doesn’t mean that he can’t kick their collective asses right here, right now. 

Like a dream, Peter hears his name shouted from across the training hall, and just like that, his scheming time is over.

“Peter Hayes and… Y/N L/N!”

He scans the crowd hastily to figure out which one is Y/N, and spots her emerging from a pack of her friends. At first glance, she appears much like the others, but Peter starts to notice a confidence in the set of her shoulders, a sharp glare in her eyes much like his own. He can tell one truth even before they get into their initial fighting stances: this one is going to be hard.

Peter has no more moments left to ponder, however; they’ve jumped up into a fighting ring and it’s time to start. Surprisingly, both Eric and Lauren have stuck around to see how this match ends. If what Eric said is true, Y/N is likely at the same ranking as Peter, which means that they’re both near the top, if not at first place.

Yes, this is going to be difficult, but then again, what the hell here isn’t? Peter decides to let his nerves drive him on and he attacks first, which is usually a mistake, but he wants to see how Y/N will react. She responds as most of the higher level fighters do, by immediately sidestepping and aiming a new blow towards him, but she’ll be wrong if she thinks Peter will be fooled by one opening move.

He’s expecting this, of course, which is why his initial attack was a feint. He’s able to duck under her arm and counterattack by slamming his fist towards the side of her head, hoping to at least mess with her sense of balance if not strike her outright.

Peter has to admit it, Y/N’s good. Really good, actually. He gets it now why Eric and Lauren are still standing around, and why this fight is attracting a crowd of other initiates. Peter doesn’t think he’s faced a foe like this in his entire time at Dauntless, which is why even though he gets the feeling he isn’t going to win this one, he’s still having a good time.

That’s what Peter enjoys, anyway, a challenge. He doubts most of the other trainees here would agree with that, they probably all think he only transferred to Dauntless so he could kick babies or push people out of moving train cars. All in moderation, of course, but he’s mainly here so he can test his limits and the limits of those around him.

All this time, Peter has been hoping to find the final line drawn in the sand, the point at which he’ll fight his hardest and someone will finally push back hard enough to shock him. He wants an ending, terrible and cruel, he wants to find somebody who will go head to head with him and make him seriously doubt who will win. Peter didn’t expect to find this person in Y/N, but he’s not about to find a problem with it now.

In the end, they tie, which no one expects, least of all the training instructors still watching them. Peter and Y/N manage to put each other in simultaneous holds in which neither person can escape, and they struggle on the ground for a while before Lauren gives in and calls a stalemate. Peter can tell Eric wasn’t too pleased about that, the man would have gladly seen them keep fighting for hours until one of them finally gave in, but other fights need this ring too and so they’re allowed to leave.

Peter relaxes his grip at last, standing up slowly amid a chorus of pain from his knees and joints. He holds a hand out to Y/N, secretly using the time as an excuse to stare at her a little longer. Yeah, she’s cute. He’s not above noticing that, especially when she’s as cool as she is.

Y/N regards his outstretched hand with a raised eyebrow. “If you think I’m going to give you a chance to judo flip me again, you’re wrong.”

Peter grins, even as she stands up without laying another finger on him. “If I was going to flip you again, I wouldn’t need to fake you out with an offer for support. I’d just do it.”

Y/N scoffs, although Peter swears he can see the corners of her lips flicking up into a smile. “Yeah, right. I think you need all the help you can get. Otherwise, you would have actually won that fight.”

With that, she tosses him one last casual glance, a simple once over, and then she’s gone, jumping casually off of the raised platform and melding back into her group of Dauntless-born friends. Peter watches her go a second longer, then decides to risk his life a little more and follows her.

A brief thought flashes through his head that she may not actually want to see him, but just as Peter considers turning around, Y/N looks back at him and smiles, actually smiles this time.

“What,” she says, “haven’t had enough of me kicking your ass?”

Peter snickers before he can stop himself. “Yeah, there was a lot of ass kicking in the tie we had. We were dead even, remember?”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “That’s just because Lauren felt pity for you. She knows what it’s like for me to constantly beat people up, and she wanted to save your ego. Eric too, obviously, because us Dauntless-born are way better than his group.”

Peter arches a brow. “Way better? Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Not ridiculous,” she proclaims, “just honest. You’re the former Candor, aren’t you? You know I’m telling the truth.”

Peter is about to object to this when a better comeback occurs to him. “How’d you know I was a former Candor? I haven’t seen a Dauntless-born since we got here on that train.”

Y/N nods. “Yeah, and I saw you on that train. Don’t read too much into it.”

Peter smirks. “Well, I’m glad that you remembered me so well. I’ve clearly made an excellent impression on you.”

Y/N gives him an irritated look, but she can’t hold it for long, too busy trying unsuccessfully to hide another smile. They end up talking for a while after that, so much so that Peter’s allies over in the transfers confront him about it later that night. They all seem stunned that Peter, known the world over for being as cruel as he is strong, would spend time with Y/N, who only seems brutal in the ring.

After casually observing her at dinner, Peter realizes that it’s true. She laughs and jokes with her friends, tossing out smiles like she were Amity instead of Dauntless. It’s only when she starts a fight that something in her personality switches, and suddenly she’s just as tough as Peter himself.

When he tries to voice that to his friends, though, all Peter manages to say is that she’s a good fighter. They don’t seem convinced, so he supposes it’s a good thing that the Dauntless-born are there again in their training room the next day. This time, Peter doesn’t have to fight her in the first round, so he gets to sit back and watch her take on another one of the transfers.

Peter takes up a place near her ring, his friends beside him. He jerks his chin up at Y/N just as she gets into her opening stance.

“See, watch her and you’ll know what I mean. Trust me, she’s pretty intense.”

His friends are doubtful in the beginning, but once Y/N takes out the second highest ranked transfer within the span of about thirty seconds, they’re convinced fairly quickly. There’s a look in her eyes when she stands up, a brutal sort of stare that only matches the blood on her knuckles. The guy at her feet is so unconscious Peter feels the need to check and see if he’s still breathing, but he can’t seem to spare a second glance towards anyone who isn’t Y/N.

Y/N heads out of the fighting ring, as it’s pretty obvious that she’s won by a long shot. Peter watches her weave through the crowds of trainees towards the door, but she turns her head to look him in the eyes before disappearing out into the hall. It’s a quiet invitation, but all that Peter needs to convince himself to follow her once more.

The corridors of the Dauntless complex are cool and quiet as compared to the restless heat of the training room. It’s a balm against Peter’s skin, slowing him down even as his footsteps pick up. He finds Y/N within a few moments of walking, just around the corner, leaning casually against a wall as if she has been waiting her whole life for him to show up. He wishes it could be true, of course, that she could feel something half as strong as the pulse-racing stranger currently taking up residence in his chest.

“So,” she asks, casual as ever, “what did you think? Did I make my fellow Dauntless-born proud?”

Peter tries to match her attitude, as cool as he can manage. “I’d say so. I think you could have done it a little faster, though. I mean, you were in that ring for almost a minute. That’s way too long.”

Y/N chuckles. “I’ll try to do better next time.”

Peter’s lips twitch up in spite of himself. He casually walks closer, praying that he isn’t misreading this, praying that she wants this even half as much as he does.

“I don’t know,” he says, “I think your next fight is against me, and I doubt it’ll be that easy.”

“So do I,” she whispers, but whatever she was going to say next is lost to the silence of the halls because Peter can hold back no longer and he’s kissing her. 

She startles for a second, then kisses him back just as hard. That’s how it is to be with her, he supposes, quiet and cruel, calm and as fiery as an inferno. He’s never met someone as mad as him, and he adores it. It’s a good thing, then, that they have all the time in the world to explore that feeling. Peter certainly intends on testing the limits once more.

divergent tag list: @rogueanschel, @with-inked-solace, @gods-fools-heroes