#disorganized thoughts?

[bright-haired-teacher]

hello my friends~

where i live there was minimal damage. i cannot say the same for the people living on the coastal areas. three schools are not opening today with the rest of us because of damage. i have no idea how many of my students will be here today or what they've gone through.

3 school days off and it feels like a lifetime. if you look at the damage from helene and you look in the tampa bay area - particularly the barrier islands - that's what people around me are dealing with. all i got was some small tree branches and a minor fence repair. some people lost their whole lives.

it's the difference between the storm surge areas vs. not. like yeah some trees came down in the non-surge areas, and there was some flooding in the usual non-surge areas, but the storm surge was the big one. that's what did the most. i love living in florida but you couldn't pay me enough money to live on the coast like that.

anyway. i am personally (physically) fine. my house is fine. my dog is fine. mentally, i am all over the place. and i suspect my mental state is going to heavily depend on how my students are coping.

[frownyalfred]

Dick is probably the nicest civilian ever when he’s in Bludhaven and all the little old ladies who bring him baked goods and his coworkers at the station have no idea he spends the night beating criminals half to death with his escrima sticks, has the kind of insane family & family loyalty you can’t buy, and would have the entire Justice League at his side with just one phone call.

[oversnow]

Telling you that I need affection and reassurance feels like a death sentence

[its-simply-just-krys]

i fear relationships and yet i want to be loved.

[fictoweirdoesten]

"You wish you had a skinnier partner, huh Caleb?"

"You prefer women with bigger breasts, right Caleb?"

"Men like ass don't they? I feel bad that you're dating me, Caleb, I've got nothing back there."

"I'm sorry I'm such a shut-in Caleb. I must be really boring to you."

"Sorry for being so unstable. You can break up with me if you want."

"I bet you-"

*Tackles and kisses all over your pretty face*

"Please don't talk about my favorite person like that, 'pip. I think they're absolutely stunning just the way they are, and I'll never let them go, no matter what."

Caleb wouldn't let you self-sabotage. He'd always reassure you that he'll never leave you, that he loves you, and that he'll always be there for you until you start to calm again 🖤

And no, it's not a burden for him, never is, never will be.

I wish men were real

[rachymarie]

normalize rambling

normalize the messy thinkers + talkers

for one thing let's get our collective attention spans back

for another, let's be more inclusive of + compassionate towards folks whose disabilities cause "rambling" and disorganized speech/thought

[death-by-sc0tland]

i need to talk about the self-help audio cause it has me bouncing off the fucking walls like. what i always found the most fascinating about dhawan!master was his state of mind after missy and how that affected his identity but the show didn’t very explicitly explore that and it was mostly left up for interpretation, but this audio finally gave us more on how he perceives his identity!!! and oh my god that doctor falls self-betrayal really fucked him up bad!!! he was so fucking upset about it and didn’t really know which side of him to even agree with!!! it completely scrambled up his mind to the point he didn’t even know if he wants to call himself the master!!! i’m going insane

[loboazul16]

This is how these two went right?

[daylighteclipsed]

Cloud and Tifa’s dialogue exchanges in Rebirth are banger after banger imo. But one of my absolute favorites is when they’re casually discussing food in the Bodybuilders in a Bind side quest.

I think it’s because it’s an unexpected but delightfully natural conversation? And it goes on for a while? This is a quest about working out, so you’d expect them to talk about workout routines or something. Instead, they end up talking about their food preferences after Tifa muses aloud what she should eat when they’re done. (She’s so real for thinking about food mid-workout btw.) She mentions steak, and Cloud makes a connection to Seventh Heaven’s menu. (This is news to us, as the audience; we never saw the menu in Remake.)

From the get-go, the dialogue communicates a lot without having to outright tell us everything. Tifa is the kind of person who thinks aloud without realizing it. She often plans meals/post-workout meals. She enjoys steak, and she put it on the Seventh Heaven menu, half of which — “the better half” — is (well, was) host to a number of meals she enjoys that Cloud also enjoys, as he laments not eating there more often. Tifa’s proud of her menu and cooking. And Cloud cares about the bar enough to remember the menu. While we’ve seen him express desire to rebuild Seventh Heaven before, this is the first time I really feel like he doesn’t want to rebuild it just to make Tifa happy. He cared about the place too. He misses it too.

The conversation continues with Tifa asking if Cloud’s a picky eater. Cloud replies that in the military, you eat what you’re fed. “SOLDIERs can’t be choosers.” Tifa mentions that she used to be a really picky eater. Cloud finds this surprising, and she emphasizes that she USED to be picky. “Can’t be choosers in the Slums, either.” Cloud, still curious, asks how Tifa feels about crab. She says that she’s not a fan, and he says that he’s not either.

Circumstances have made food more about survival. Cloud and Tifa are not in a position to choose, but they both still have preferences. I think this is interesting because this side quest comes right after Cloud’s side quest rendezvous with Aerith, where he sounds indifferent to what he eats. He expresses a little curiosity about how the clams/oysters/etc. from the shells they’re collecting might taste. Then Aerith says they could ask a local but she doesn’t think Cloud cares that much, and he just agrees. “I don’t. Food’s food.” And the conversation ends.

Cloud and Tifa talk about food almost this entire side quest lol. Clearly, food is not just food. Both characters have preferences, and they want to know each other’s preferences. There’s a sense of mutual interest and engagement, and a mutual ease of conversation flowing between them. (I think it’s fitting and a little humorous that Cloud brings up crab when they’re in a place like Costa del Sol. Crab is probably on every menu in town lmao He’s probably sick of seeing it.) Anyway, the most obvious takeaway from all this is that Cloud and Tifa have the same taste in food. But we’re not done yet.

From here, Tifa asks Cloud what the meals SOLDIERs eat taste like. Cloud replies that they’re healthy but not tasty, making a small disgusted “eugh” sound that earns a laugh from Tifa. Obviously, Cloud was never really in SOLDIER, but it’s safe to assume the average grunt also eats what they’re fed, and it doesn’t taste good. Cloud then begins to reminisce about their childhood. In hindsight, he realizes, they had it pretty good growing up. Tifa agrees. With fresh fruits and veggies, “and great chefs eager to use ‘em,” it’s hard to complain.

This isn’t the first time Cloud brings up their childhood in this side quest — he does very briefly at the start when he playfully asks Tifa what little Tifa would think of her adult self’s eagerness to kick some ass. But what’s so interesting is (if you play the game chronologically) I think this side quest is the first time Cloud brings up fond childhood memories without any prompting? He chooses to reflect on the past and steer his conversation with Tifa that way, to how they ate in Nibelheim, and it’s comfortable. It’s easy. A far cry from Tifa’s memory tests at the start of the game.

The past has been so tricky for Cloud and Tifa to navigate. It’s nice to see them reminisce about something so mundane and relatable like home-cooked meals. There’s some sadness in knowing neither of them can have that from their parents again… But there’s also the hope of rebuilding Seventh Heaven down the road. They — and their friends/found family — can always start a garden and enjoy homemade meals together someday, right? (Later in Gongaga, Barret mentions maybe starting a garden with Marlene. I think a shared/family garden when things settle down would be really sweet, but I digress.)

I think the dialogue in this side quest demonstrates the chemistry between Cloud and Tifa and quietly highlights their growing connection/reconnection. It flows so naturally (credit to the VAs for that as well). It really feels like two people hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, like they’re just going for a jog or grabbing a bite to eat or something instead of battling monsters. It paints a picture of what their casual/candid/low stakes dynamic is like, and it tells us more about them as individuals. It’s delightful. I love it.

[flowersforvax]

I'm still thinking about the proposed next step for the gods and-

It's actually so interesting that Bell's Hells - voice of the people lmao - have come up with a solution that has the possibility to be better for the gods than mortals.

It always struck me as kind of tragic that the gods were forced to change from these shapeless beings of endless possibility into static icons of their domain, possibly incapable of further change.

For them it's a chance to be something different! It's a chance to be back on Exandria! It's a chance to be closer to their children! It's a load off their backs! A nice break!

But you know who gets the short end of the stick?? Their worshippers. The people who depend on their god to answer their prayer? Ooof, who knows how that would work.

Even if we assume they can copy the Traveler model - that still leaves like. a 15 to 20 year gap from birth to adulthood when they wouldn't be able to act as gods! And that's ignoring what the vast majority of people actually want out of their god! Because most of them aren't clerics, or expect a real answer to their prayer - but they do want the comfort of praying to their God. And not a secretary.

[frownyalfred]

Can we please have a fic where bruce doesn't kill joker as batman but kills him as bruce wayne and going completely mute after?

He just walks up straight to the Joker in the middle of one of his meetings (this hinges on him not recognizing Bruce Wayne as Batman right away which I’m rolling with even though I know it’s not always canon) and just. shoots him in the head. that’s it.

goes home, sits down in his bedroom in blood splattered clothes (still in Jason’s funeral clothing?) and goes silent. even alfred can’t coax a word out of him. and the Joker isn’t exactly a priority victim so it’s never traced back to him, but even if it was it wouldn’t matter. Bruce is gone.

[oversnow]

I'm so replaceable

[cigarettedolly13]

I feel like the reason Mello was labeled as “emotional” at Wammy’s isn’t necessarily because he was overly emotional, like some have suggested, but rather because he was emotional in the way most “normal” children are (ex. Crying when they get hurt, yelling when angry, laughing when happy, etc) and ofc I imagine a certain level of emotional detachment is not only expected, but pushed at Wammy’s, especially for someone like Mello who’s supposed to be one of L’s top choices for succeeding him.

[mmikmmik]

When Mirabelle chews Siffrin out in Act 5, she actually does correctly touch on a huge issue in their relationship that's prominent from at least Act 3 and arguably present before the loops.

From the ISAT script project (emphasis mine):

Mirabelle: Is something wrong, Siffrin? Did something happen? Did you have a nightmare or something? Siffrin: No, of course not. Mirabelle: Then what happened, Siffrin! Because clearly something did happen!!! Otherwise, i-if nothing happened, I'll have to accept the fact that I was wrong about you!!! Siffrin: (Huh…?) Wrong about me…? Mirabelle: . . . Mirabelle: You always tease me, Siffrin. And it's fine. Everybody does. I guess I have the kind of personality where it's easy to want to tease me. But I know people don't mean it. It's how-- It's how some people make friends. And I thought it was the same for you. I thought, "It's okay, they don't mean it, it's how they are. They tease me, but they're never mean. And Siffrin never really hurts me." "Would never really hurt me." Mirabelle: . . . Mirabelle: But now you have, Siffrin! Thinking I should be alone… Telling me I should be alone… Who do you think you are, to say this to me? Acting like-- Like you know better than me!!! Always soooo mysterious, Siffrin, always talking as if you're better than me! As if you know me!!! But you don't, Siffrin!!! You're just as lost and useless as I am!!! So stop!!! Talking!!! As if you know me!!!!!!

I think it's easy to miss because so much of what Mirabelle says is off base. Because Siffrin insists "no, I really did just decide to suddenly undermine your self-confidence and trust in me out of nowhere for no reason, on the day before we're supposed to fight the King together", Mirabelle goes off that premise and rants that they must never have really cared about her or their mission. Obviously untrue. I think even Mirabelle's dialogue here is hinting that she knows on some level that this is one of her deep insecurities coming to the surface and it makes more sense if something did actually happen that Siffrin is refusing to explain.

But it is true that Siffrin acts superior sometimes. At the start of Act 3, Mirabelle sees him freaking out after his first meeting with Euphrasie and tries to comfort him. She sees through multiple attempts to laugh it off or deflect her (i.e., lie to her); she coaxes them to talk to her, she begs them to talk to her, and finally gently but seriously tells them that the group needs to trust each other and share their worries. And Siffrin's take-away from that last tactic is... "[I] know why she's asking [me] this. Poor Mirabelle can't just say it, so [I]'ll have to do it for her..." and asks Mirabelle what she needs help with, to Mirabelle's visible and uncharacteristic frustration. What condescension! Siffrin was being way nicer about it when he was in a better mental space, but he was basically doing the same thing Mirabelle correctly accuses him of doing in Act 5.

To be fair to Siffrin, they seem genuinely confused in Act 3 when Mira is trying to convince them to share with her, so I think it's more about them being repressed and inexperienced with friendship than an ego thing. But I do think ego is part of it, if only in an "I like myself better when I'm making Mirabelle happy" kind of way. Whatever's going on internally, the bottom line is that Siffrin is not treating Mirabelle respectfully as his adult peer and friend.

Of course Act 5 Mira doesn't remember that Act 3 conversation, so given how she described the behavior, I'm guessing Siffrin has done this sort of thing occasionally before the events of the game. And I think you can see some similar behavior in earlier acts. Siffrin worries a lot about saying things that might have upset or embarrassed Mirabelle, and a lot of their non-plot-related dialogue variations I can think of are trying to be more encouraging towards her. That's more of a grey area, though - I'm not sure I disagree with him doing stuff like faking enthusiasm for the sleepover idea or calling her plant cute. It's kind of a red flag in the context of everything else, but I can't really blame him for it. Even if these issues were fully present before the loops, I think Siffrin and Mirabelle could have worked past them without having to have a really awful fight like that, if Siffrin wasn't falling apart so badly. I really, really like their resolution to be "feelings buddies" as a conclusion to this character arc - yeah! opening up! mutual trust and reassurance! willingness to be vulnerable with each other! Good for them!

[wormboyfriendcentralstation]

I have a jumble of assorted thoughts about how Melkor is canonically, at his strongest, more powerful than all of the Valar combined, yet "alone of the Valar, Morgoth knew fear." He consistently runs away from fights that he could, in all likelihood, win- the biggest example is the fact that he would've avoided fighting Fingolfin altogether if he wasn't more afraid of appearing afraid in front of his forces?

Something something where in the mind of Iluvatar did he come from to know fear, something something despite being outmatched by Melkor on multiple occasions, apparently the other Valar do not actually know fear, etc

[drcaglestein-blog]

When breaking generational curses, don’t expect support from those who passed it on.