#disclaimer that all of this is opinions!!

[writetheidea]

In the Quiet of Us

Hello, I had another idea for a fan fiction. This one was more of a spur-of-the-moment idea, but I hope you still find it enjoyable. As always, I have anonymous ask available for those who would like to express their opinion anonymously.

Pairing:  Lando Norris x named!female character

Plot: Lando Norris learns to navigate his girlfriend's hesitation with physical affection, patiently helping her open up and show love in her own quiet, touch-starved way.

Tag: fluff.

Word count: 1697

Disclaimers: english is not my first language - I feel like you could tell from my writing style - so I apologize if some of the sentences structures are off, or if I use outdated or inappropriate-for-the-context words, I used a synonym dictionary to try and stop myself from repeating the same words, I still did do that though.

The girlfriend has a name as I wasn’t able to write this without a name, I apologize, I made it a shorter name so it can be skimmed over. There is no physical description of them.

Lando Norris had always been an affectionate person, and anyone close to him would tell you the same. Whether it was a warm hug after a tough day or a playful nudge to break the silence, Lando found comfort in touch. Friends and family alike knew he’d be the first to throw an arm around your shoulders, squeeze your hand for reassurance, or wrap you in a bear hug when you needed it most. For Lando, physical closeness wasn’t just a part of life—it was his language, one he was fluent in and spoke without hesitation.

But when it came to Evie, Lando soon realized that physical affection wasn’t something she was used to. She wasn’t cold or distant—quite the opposite, actually—but there was a quietness to her, a shyness that kept her hands tucked in her lap rather than reaching out. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be close to him; he could see the way her eyes softened when he touched her, how her breath would hitch when he leaned in a little too close. But there was always a hesitation, a space she kept between them.

Their first date had been sweet and simple, a quiet dinner followed by a walk in the park. At one point, he’d offered her his arm, hoping she’d take it. But instead, she’d simply smiled and slipped her hands into her pockets. At the end of the night, as they said goodbye, he leaned in for a kiss. She blushed a deep pink, her hands clutching her purse as though it was the only thing keeping her steady. Her hesitation caught him off guard. He’d pulled back, a soft smile on his face to cover the moment’s awkwardness, but she didn’t move away. It was as though she wanted to be closer but didn’t know how to reach for him.

As the weeks passed, Lando began to notice the small ways Evie responded to his touch. She wouldn’t reach for his hand, but she’d linger if he held it. She wouldn’t initiate a hug, but once he pulled her into his arms, she’d hold on tight, pressing her face into his chest like she was grounding herself in his warmth. If he brushed her cheek with his thumb or let his fingers graze hers, her cheeks would flush, her lips parting in a soft, unsure smile. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be close—it was just that she wasn’t sure how to be.

It stung a little at first. Lando had always been so open with his affection, so ready to give, but he quickly realized that Evie just wasn’t used to it. And as he got to know her, he could see how deeply she cared for him in all the ways that didn’t involve touch. She’d make him laugh until his stomach hurt, stay up late just to talk about their days, remember every small detail he shared with her. He saw kindness in her every action, even in her hesitance. And whenever he held her, no matter how shy she seemed, she never pulled away.

She wasn’t rejecting him; she just wasn’t sure how to express her feelings through touch. But that didn’t stop him from being patient, from offering her the space she needed while still trying to show her how much he cared in his own way.

Then, as the months passed, Lando started noticing something else. A pattern, little signs that showed she was trying to be close in her own quiet ways. She’d poke his shoulder after a joke or hold her hand up for a high-five with a shy smile, only to linger a second too long. These gestures became more frequent—small touches, like a light brush of her fingers over his, the faintest hint of a hand on his arm. It dawned on him, in the sweetest way, that this was Evie’s version of physical affection. A high-five, a gentle nudge, an extra glance over her shoulder as he watched her laugh with his family. Each small touch felt like her way of reaching out, even if it didn’t look like much to anyone else.

And Lando loved it. Every high-five, every poke on his shoulder felt like a step forward, like she was learning how to show what she felt in her own way. He noticed that these gestures would come at the sweetest moments—after they’d had a laugh, or when she was watching him with that soft, shy smile of hers, or during the quiet times when they were just being near each other. He realized that Evie wasn’t distant at all. She was just... a little touch-starved, perhaps too used to holding back.

So he decided he’d help make up for all the love she hadn’t had, all the closeness she never felt she could ask for. He started pulling her close more often, wrapping her in warm hugs, brushing kisses over her temple whenever he could. She’d always hesitate at first, that little spark of nervousness in her eyes, but then she’d melt into his arms as if they were the safest place in the world. And every time, he’d whisper soft words of affirmation, making sure she knew how much he loved her, how happy he was just to hold her.

---

One afternoon, while they were sitting together in silence, Lando reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Evie’s ear. She looked at him, her eyes soft and a little uncertain, and he couldn’t help but smile. He liked the way she looked at him, like she was always just on the verge of saying something but couldn’t quite find the words.

“You’re so cute when you blush,” he teased gently, his fingers brushing over her cheek.

Evie turned pink, her gaze dropping to her hands. “I... I’m not good at this, Lando,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “Being close... I’m just not sure how to... I don’t want to mess it up.”

Lando’s heart ached at the sadness in her voice. He reached out, cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks. “Evie, you don’t have to know how,” he said softly, his voice filled with love. “You don’t have to do anything. Just let me love you. Let me hold you.”

She met his gaze, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, and slowly, she leaned into his touch, allowing him to pull her close. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, as if he were the only steady thing in her world.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice so soft, he almost couldn’t hear it. “For being patient with me.”

“You’re worth every second,” Lando murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He meant it with all of his heart.

---

As time passed, Evie began to open up in small, quiet ways. She started to initiate small gestures, things she’d never done before. She would reach for his hand when they watched a movie, her fingers gently curling around his. She would rest her head on his shoulder, her breath soft against his neck. Each small touch was a quiet declaration of her love, her way of showing him that she was learning how to trust in the closeness they shared.

One morning, as Lando was making breakfast, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. He froze for a moment, caught off guard by the warmth of her embrace. But then he relaxed, covering her hands with his and smiling as his heart swelled. They stood there for a while, wrapped in each other, and for the first time, Lando felt like they had finally found a rhythm together—one that didn’t need words, one that was just about being there for each other.

Each day brought something new—a gentle touch, a small kiss, a hesitant hug. She would press a kiss to his cheek, rest her head on his chest as they lay together, ask him to hold her on days when she felt vulnerable. Every gesture made his heart swell, and he made sure she knew how much he cherished each one. With every forehead kiss, every squeeze of her hand, he let her know that her love was a gift, never a burden.

---

In the quiet moments that followed, Lando never stopped showing Evie how much he loved her. With every soft kiss on her forehead, every gentle squeeze of her hand, he let her know that her love was a gift, one he treasured deeply. And in return, Evie began to understand that love didn’t need to be loud or perfect—it just needed to be there, in every little gesture, in every quiet moment they shared.

One quiet evening, after a long day, they found themselves on the couch, wrapped up in each other and a warm blanket. The TV played softly in the background, but neither of them paid much attention. Evie was nestled against Lando’s side, her fingers tracing slow patterns over his hand, her head resting against his shoulder. He felt her breath even out, and he looked down to find her gaze soft and peaceful, a contented look he was coming to cherish. It was a peaceful silence, one that spoke volumes.

After a while, Evie lifted her head and looked up at him, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. “Do you think I’ll ever be as good at this as you are?” she asked, her voice filled with uncertainty.

Lando gave her hand a gentle squeeze, smiling at her with a warmth that held no expectation, only love. “You’re already everything I need, Evie,” he said simply, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Just as you are.”

She leaned back against him, her fingers curling around his as she closed her eyes, content. And for the first time, they didn’t need words to feel how much they meant to each other. They had found their own way, and it was perfect.

In that silence, wrapped in each other’s arms, they both knew that love could be quiet, soft, and yet, more than enough.

[written-in-flowers]

Die With a Smile: Chan x Male!Reader

Pairing: Chan x Male!Reader

Word Count: 7k

Genre: Smut, fluff | AU: idolverse, ninth member au

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Summary: An unpleasant encounter becomes a show of affection and a near confession from Chan. Have two finally become one? / 'I'd wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile. If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you' "Die With a Smile" by Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga

Disclaimer: These works are completely fictitious and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect or label the members of Stray Kids in any way. The events within never took place. Thank you.

Tags: polyamory, polycule, homophobia, mentions of homophobia, chan being the protective leader he is, peek at angry chan, anal fingering, anal sex, rimming, 69-position, shower foreplay, shower stuff, dom/sub undertones, pet names (baby, good boy), creampie, multiple sex rounds, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, cum eating, spanking.

Tags: @james-is-here @onementally-unstabel-kid @omg-lexiloveyou @drinkingrumandcocacola @disverseinterests @oreoqueen @succubus-hansol @belladonna6-6-6-6-6 @channiesbum

Here's What You Missed on Newbie!

****

A day with Chan. You couldn’t believe your luck. You loved hanging out with all the members, but the leader carried a special place in your heart. The both of you talked about everything and anything. You found yourself telling him things you never dared to tell anyone else; he did the same in return. In an industry where you had to wear masks, it felt nice having someone to be fully honest with. You could be who you truly are with him, and never worried about what happened afterwards. You always made up excuses to be around him: pretending you’d asked someone else to hang but they’d been busy; that you wanted to show him a melody you’d worked on or look over lyrics for his opinion; that you simply wished for his company over anyone in the world. 

Yet, the most frustrating thing lately has been his hesitation. While everyone else jumped on you the moment they could, Chan kept a tight hold on himself. No matter how many times you made it clear you wanted him, he promised ‘later, YNie’. You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of him late at night, when you tossed and turned in bed and sleep evaded you. You pictured his strong, hard body on top of yours, hips spreading your thighs as he kissed you. Even though you had hot, kinky sex with the other members, you wanted Chan to be special. You knew he’d make it passionate and gentle. You knew you’d spend ages exploring his body, kissing the most sensitive spots and caressing his lean muscles. He’d do the same to you, holding you so close your bodies stayed melted together. 

You wished he’d at least kiss you. 

“-So, I told him we could work on it tomorrow,” he told you as he finished his last set. “Changbin always shows me stuff late at night when neither of us can sleep. He says he gets inspired at night.”

“I know how he feels,” you said, taking his place on the bench. “I started working on this ballad the other night that I’ve been meaning to show you.”

“A ballad?” he asked, spotting you by holding the bar with two fingers. 

“Yeah, I guess I was in a sentimental mood last night and it inspired me.” You wouldn’t say that you’d been looking at pictures of you both on a walk around the city. “I can show it to you later. I really want to see what you think.”

He helped you with the bar a few times. You’d gotten better at working out since you became Changbin’s gym buddy. Stays liked the muscles you’d developed, and, yes, you hoped Chan might notice you. When you ended your set, you thought of going to work on your legs when Chan got up close to you. No product in his hair, his natural curls were pushed back from his face with a cap so they stuck out the back. Without makeup, you got to see the bare beauty up close. You admired the shape of his full lips, the size of his nose and how his eyes sparkled like they carried galaxies in them. You saw his unblemished skin, and sharp jawline. How could one person carry all the beauty in the world in them? 

“Hey,” he said, almost low enough that it stayed between both of you, “I was wondering if, um, you know…” he pursed his lips and looked away shyly, “If you wanted to, maybe, if you wanted and it’s totally okay if you don’t…”

“Hyung?” Was it happening? 

“If you wanted to go out with me tonight, maybe?” he asked with a grimace, afraid of what you might say. “Not as friends?”

“Like, a real date?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “If you don’t want to, it’s cool. We can stay friends. I just thought…you know, we’ve been hanging out a lot since you joined our group and I really like being around you, so I thought you might want to go on a real date with me? Like I said-”

“-Yes,” you cut him off, unable to stop your hammering heart. “I’d really like that.”

“You would?” he said, surprised and hopeful. 

“Yeah,” you laughed, nodding. “I thought I was going to have to ask you, since I’ve sort of been waiting for you.”

He laughed embarrassed, “Oh, wow. I guess all the flirting and teasing should’ve been a giveaway, huh?”

“It was a bit of one, but,” you added quickly, “We don’t have to do that. I don’t expect it when we are alone together. I like being with you outside of, you know, sex stuff.”

“But, you do want to, right?”

“Channie-hyung,” you said, “Look at you. Of course, I do.”

“Good to know,” he smirked, bringing you even closer. “Changbin told me you guys did it here the other day.”

“It’s not my fault he can’t keep his hands to himself,” you defended with a smile. You too thought about Changbin’s strong hands on your hips as he bent you over the bench press last week. “It’d been quick, but so good.”

“As hot as that sounds you really shouldn’t do that here,” he cautioned. “Someone could have seen you guys.”

“That’s the point of public sex, hyung.”

“I mean, someone could film it and out you two. While I do like thinking of you getting slammed by Changbin,” he said, fixing the strap of your tank top, “Just be more careful where you do it, okay?”

“Of course, hyung.” 

He gave your chin a small pinch before pulling away. “I’ll go get my stuff from the locker room and we can go.” 

“Sure,” you said, watching him leave for the locker room doors. 

The moment the door closed, you jumped for joy. Faint squeals made it past your gritted teeth and butterflies soared in your stomach. A real date with Chan? It couldn’t be really happening. You didn’t care if nothing happened afterwards; just going out on an actual date with him got you one step closer to his heart. You picked up your stuff with shaky hands. You tried controlling the bubbling nerves, but visions of your date kept coming at you. Yet, this light was snuffed out when a voice came from behind you. 

“So, the company hasn’t gotten rid of you yet, Park?” 

Kim Beomgyu stood between the machines with two men on either side. You recognized them as Hyungshik and Daniel. Beomgyu looked just as large and intimidating as the last time you’d seen him. Standing a few inches taller than you, he’d spent ages developing his buff body. Fans of theirs called him the muscle pig, since he worked out and ate so much. Every butterfly in your stomach died seeing him so close. Your palms became sweaty, and you suddenly want to run. Remembering your last encounter, you didn’t want to go through it a second time. 

“No,” you said, trying to keep up a face of courage. “You see that I’m here, right?” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave on your own,” he said, coming closer to you. “I thought the ass kicking I gave you made it clear: Nobody wants you here.” He gave you a light shove, and your heart dropped into your stomach. 

“I don’t know if you noticed, hyung,” you said, putting spite into your voice, “But they put me in one of the most popular kpop groups in the world. When was the last time Zero won anything? Oh, that’s right. You haven’t because your music is shit and your dancing is awful.”

The three of them laughed, “That’s the best you can do? So what if you’re a Stray Kid? I can still beat your ass,” he shoved you again. “This is a No-Fairy Zone. You better go before I enforce it.”

“They seem to have an open door policy on assholes, though.”

Chan appeared from behind you, immediately getting between you and Beomgyu. You saw the tongue-in-cheek sign of anger Chan exhibited sometimes. His body became tense, and he stared right at Beomgyu. 

‘Oh, you poor dumb bastard…’ 

“You’re actually defending this fairy, Bahng?” Beomgyu asked in disbelief. “What? Are you his boyfriend or something?”

“He’s one of my members. I take care of my members, unlike you.” He stepped up to him, “I suggest you and your lapdogs go to the other side of the gym and pretend you never saw us.”

“Or what? You’ll sprinkle your fairy dust on me?”

“No, your nose will start bleeding.”

“What?”

“Because that’s where my fist is going to land if you keep insulting YN. You made your point: you’re a self-hating gay man who can’t confront his sexuality. We get it. You're attracted to YN and you can't help it so you get angry. Denial is natural in the beginning stages.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Beomgyu said, though not as confident as before. 

“I saw how you kept looking at YN when we were at MAMA,” he said. “You were practically undressing him with your eyes. Is that why you beat him up the first time? Did you get so upset over it that you took it out on him?” He got in Beomgyu’s face, “Did he get you so hard you almost hated him for it?”  

“You’re a liar. I ain’t no fucking f-”

“-Sure, keep telling yourself that. You might believe it one day. YN-yah, let’s go. Now.”

You snatched up your phone and quickly followed Chan out of the gym. Neither of you spoke on your way to the parking lot. Chan’s anger seemed to vibrate through him and kept you away. He even ticked his head to one side like he did when he disapproved or was angry about something. You saw his knuckles whiten around the handle of his duffle bag. Every Stray Kid member knew not to talk to him when he was upset. Once in the car, you kept quiet as Chan made to start the car. But, then he didn’t. 

“Don’t tell the members what happened,” he said, voice still steely. “Changbin-ah would go after him if he knew, and Minho-yah would be right behind him. I don’t want a bad light put on us.”

“You said you would hit him…”

“If I had to, but I would’ve preferred not to do that. Beomgyu’s a bitch and he would’ve cried to the company if I’d hit him.” He looked over at you, “Don’t tell them, okay? Promise me you won’t.”

“I won’t.”

“Not even Hyunjin or Felix. Nobody.”

“Nobody,” you nodded. 

He started the car and began driving. You didn't utter a word to him the entire ride. His anger kept an invisible barrier between the two of you. You knew his anger remained directed at Beomgyu, but the air felt too tense to speak. 

He brought you to his dorm instead of yours. You guessed Changbin and Jisung weren't home when you walked in to find a quiet apartment. Chan walked over to their open floor kitchen, grabbing a beer and popping it open. You stared at him for a moment, unable to focus on anything but him. 

You couldn’t recall someone defending you before. The Zero members sort of kept away whenever Beomgyu started going at you. Friends of yours didn’t know how to react when it happened, and your parents would rather let it happen than risk a scandal. You thought you might cry, remembering how he’d immediately shielded you from Beomgyu and threatened to hurt him if he kept going. 

“Nobody’s ever done that for me,” you said quietly. “Not once.”

“I’ll do it as many times as I need to,” he said, taking another gulp of his drink. “I care about you, YNie.”

“You do?” You came up to him, your body aching to be closer. Beomgyu’s taunting eyes and hurtful words stuck themselves in your head. You saw his lean arms and wanted to be in them. Only there did you feel truly safe. “Really?” 

“Of course,” he said, surprised by your question. 

You stopped inches away from him. “Is that why you were so touchy with me at MAMA this year?’ you asked, thinking about your first major performance with Stray Kids. “You knew he was watching me?” 

You hadn’t thought much of it at the time. But, now that you did, Chan had been a bit more flirty and affectionate than normal. Your skin still prickled remembering his hands on the exposed parts of your outfit, the flirty comments he made in your ear and how cute he acted towards you. A part of you thought he’d done it to distract you from your old group, but now you realize it was to keep Beomgyu away…or make him jealous. Even Changbin said he was pushing the boundaries. Chan gave a small smirk at your question. 

“At first, I thought he wanted to get you alone so he could bully you,” he admitted, “But then he kept checking you out. We were in the waiting area with everyone else, and I noticed he was looking in your direction a lot. I’ve seen enough leering to know when someone wants to fuck,” he chuckled. “Then, his aggression towards you suddenly made sense to me. He’s gay too, and just doesn’t want to admit it to himself. Having someone around who he knew was gay I guess sort of sparked this self-loathing. He took it out on you because you make him feel stuff he thinks he isn’t allowed to feel.” He put down his drink and cupped your cheek. “But, it works out for me.”

“How?”

“Less competition.” 

For months, you’d pictured Chan passionately kissing you, whether during sex or not. His lips, warm and soft, felt better than any pair you’d kissed before. Your heart blossomed and every ounce of yearning came out in your kiss. He kept you in place by the cheek and the back of your neck, and your hand naturally fell on his chest. You wanted him to know how you felt without words. Words meant nothing, but kisses meant everything. You moved closer for him to deepen the kiss, wet tongues touching one another as he groaned softly in your mouth. Even when you broke apart, you both shared soft, brief kisses before diving back in for another deep, passionate one. 

“Perfect,” he breathed when you broke apart, “Better than I imagined.” 

“So much better,” you agreed, kissing him again. 

Lips finding yours again, his hands slid your shirt up over your head. You returned the favor, slipping underneath the muscle shirt and peeling it off his toned body. Since joining, you’d seen Chan shirtless a fair share of times but not this close. You saw every definition, unable to stop yourself from tracing them up to his chest before removing his shirt completely. His hands went around your waist to your back, not moving down but instead up to the backs of your shoulders. This forced you closer to him, your body pressing up against his like it was made to be. He was intoxicating. This sudden freedom to touch him left you eager to feel every part your hands could reach. For once in your life, you became one with another person. This did not have the shallow, lustful hunger you experienced so often. Something deeper hid behind the veil and slowly made its way up your stomach. Reaching up into his soft, dark curls, you gave them a light tug to keep him steady as you tilted your head to one side. 

He guided you through the apartment to their bathroom, excitement building up in your gut. Once inside, he pressed you to the counter and continued kissing you. Every vein in your body pumped blood straight to your center, where Chan’s thigh brushed into you. The gentle touch impacted you, but not as it usually did. Only made you want more of him. One hand kept you balanced, while the other roamed your body. Besides your nipples, his thumb rolled around the dip of your hips close to the v-line; the fingers tenderly caressed your stomach and the sternum of your chest to your neck again. Hand wrapped around your throat, he didn’t squeeze. He simply held you like that as his other hand worked on removing the rest of your clothes. Chan groaned when you started doing the same back. You hadn’t seen his dick since that first night, and you wanted to see it again. 

Chan only broke away from you to turn on the shower, and your eyes raked over his nude body. They focused on the semi-hard cock between his thighs. The others had been right: you’re both roughly the same size. You couldn’t wait to have it in you. The water deemed good enough, Chan and you giggled as he brought you back into his arms underneath the shower head. Things became more slippery when the body wash came out. The sliding of his skin and hands on you sent more blood to your core. You grew more excited when he pressed your back to his chest, and worked his way past your hips. 

“Chan-”

“-We have to make sure you’re clean everywhere, baby.” 

A faint whine escaped you when both his hands reached your hardening length. He didn’t touch it right away. Chan focused on the areas around it. He crouched to lay gentle kisses on your ass cheeks while he rubbed the citrus lather on your thighs and legs. You shivered, and weakened when his ass grabbed both buttocks tenderly. 

“When was the last time anyone touched this, hm?” he asked, kissing up your back and sucking the fleshier part of your neck. 

“Changbin.”

“And now I get to. Oh, oops,” he said coyly when his hand slipped between your cheeks briefly. “Sorry, YNie,” three fingers rubbed against your ass hole and you leaned forward as it weakened you, “I didn’t mean to. The soap is so slippery,” he rolled his fingers in circles, “And your ass is so round and full. It just happened.” 

His hand went further down to where your ass and balls met. You spread your legs out of habit to give him more access. “I only want to be thorough with you,” he said as he kissed along your shoulders, sucking and nibbling them occasionally. 

“You’re so good to me, hyung,” you whimpered as he rolled your balls in his hand. “You always take such good care of me.”

“Of course I do,” he replied, letting go of them to bring you back in his arms. Your cock sticking straight out, it became sensitive to his touch. “You mean so much to me.” He paused at your shoulder, lips pressed to the crook of your neck. You sensed the words in the silence, “Is it crazy to say I felt that way before we even met?”

“What?” The butterflies in your stomach suddenly went wild. 

“I followed you on Instagram and Tiktok before you joined, and, um, I kind of…”

“Yeah?”

“I planned on telling you this later,” he said, forehead on your shoulder and hands nowhere near your dick, “You know, when we’re not naked and hard in the shower but, um, you know, I really like you…Like a lot more than band members or friends…”

“Me too.” 

Nothing else was said. A soapy hand started gliding up and down your shaft slowly, giving gentle squeezes to the tip between his fingers. “My sweet boy,” he continued, kissing your neck, “You’re my sweet boy. Aren’t you?”  

“Yes, I am,” you grinned, giggling softly when he kept kissing close to your ear. 

“You’ll be good for your leader?”

“Yes, Leader-nim.”

“That’s my boy.” 

He turned your head to deeply kiss you. You moaned into his lips as he pumped only your tip, squeezing and rolling around it until you squirmed in his arms. Grabbing his other hand, you put it to your throat again and he knew what you wanted. He kept you in place by your neck as he played with the head of your dick. 

“I’m not going to do anything particularly kinky, but if I do something you don’t like,” he said, “Just say ‘cherry’ and I’ll stop, okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded as best you could. 

“What’s our safe word?”

“Cherry.”

“Good boy.” 

Then, it was your turn to wash him. Turning around in his arms, you instantly felt his dick poke yours. He gave a low hum when they brushed lightly over, and he brought you closer. You felt down the broad shoulders and vascular arms, tracing the natural veins that sometimes came out, before reaching his waistline. Chan’s breathing grew heavier when you passed over his stomach and chest again. His eyes stayed on your lips, eager to kiss them before he brought you to him by the back of your neck. You grew hard simply touching him. The both of you stood there under the water, fondling and exploring one another as you should. It felt natural. No rush to the bed. No hurry to get anywhere. You felt content simply touching and kissing. Even as your arousal grew, you did not want to end it so quickly. 

“I should've done this sooner,” he said between kisses as you towel dried one another. “I've clearly been missing out on your cure-all ass.”

“My cure-all ass?” you laughed in disbelief. “Which of them said this?” 

“Changbin,” he chuckled, kissing you. “He swears your ass makes his problems go away.”

Both of you laughed, “Hyunjin says my dick is ‘life-changing’. I don't know where it comes from. It's…alright.”

“I don't know,” he reached down between you and grabbed your erection, “I'm looking at it now and seeing a whole new perspective on life.”

You held back your laughter until it spilled over. “Maybe you should try it for yourself sometime,” you said, stroking him back, “I’m always down to help my leader better himself.”

“Another time,” he replied, dropping the towel and leading you out of the bathroom. “I’ve been looking at this all day,” he squeezed your ass until you squeaked and giggled, “And I can’t wait anymore.” 

“I can’t either.” 

He gave you several kisses on the way to his bedroom. On his bed, you barely took in anything else around you. Chan suddenly became your entire world, and you didn’t want to leave just yet. He laid on top of you, gently spreading your thighs as he kissed you again. Fresh from your shower, you took in the pine-scented body wash and the smoothness of his skin. His muscles were in a more relaxed state, becoming softer against your fingers.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he said as he peppered kisses across your jawline. “So, so beautiful.”

“You too,” you breathed, wrapping yourself around him to keep him close. “Just when I think I've gotten used to it, you come around the corner and blow me away again.” The confession poured from you, eyes closing to savor his lips moving further down your body. “You make me feel safe…I don’t worry about things because I know you’re there to take care of me. I feel better after I’ve been around you…I’ve wanted this since we first met. I’ve wanted you, Channie. Please…” you breathed the last word, your hands sliding into his dark curls as he reached your hardon, “Don’t make me wait anymore. Please…”

“I won’t, baby,” he promised, kissing down your length to your balls. “We’re both going to get,” he moved to your inner thighs and lifted them by the knees, “Exactly what we want.” He reached up to one knee, massaging the backs of them, and said, “You’ve become such a special person to me. I’ll always take care of you…” He kissed back down to your center, “In any way I can.”

You twitched when his mouth encompassed the tip. Still holding onto your knees, he sunk his mouth inch by inch onto your dick. You looked down to see his shoulder and back muscles flexing in this position, the veins in his arms more noticeable in the slight strain to be propped upwards. It resembled every fantasy you’ve ever had about him. Your entire body electrified each time he reached the base and softly hummed around you. His full lips sucked you lightly, and you felt his tongue sliding against the veins of your dick. When you saw his hips grinding into the bed, the request slipped from your lips.

“Let me suck you too.” 

Chan didn’t question it. He laid back on the bed and let you position yourself on top of him. Every urge inside you screamed to fuck his mouth, but you refused to ruin the moment with hastiness. Grabbing onto one another, you both continued. A bit thicker than some of the others, you took a moment to adjust to his size. The combination of finally having him filling your mouth and you filling his created muffled whimpering. Neither of you took the other one out completely. You didn’t want the sensation to end. Chan only elevated it when his hands grasped your ass cheeks. You squirmed on top of you when you felt him begin tenderly squeezing them, thumbs grazing the hole. When you felt him begin guiding you on his face, you carefully started sliding in and out of his mouth on your own. You let him do the same, staying completely still for his dick to penetrate your mouth. Still not rough or quick, he sucked harder when you withdrew and only licked the tip when you hung it over him and sunk back inside. You groaned at the dick stuffing your face. The taste of him dragged across your tongue, turning into a salty drool that you slurped and licked up whenever he pulled out.

Two fingers rolled around your ass hole again, and Chan let out a muffled chuckle when you trembled. “Sit on my face, baby,” he said between breaths, “Let me tongue fuck you.”

With a bit of maneuvering, you planted your bottom right on his face as requested. You didn’t regret it at all. Chan kept them open, he swiped his tongue over and around you as it tickled your insides. You continued stroking the wet cock in front of you, occasionally bending down to lick up the beads of precum. He was incredibly hard. Hard enough that it stood on its own when you let go and only used your mouth. Chan didn’t stop you from grinding into his face; he actually encouraged it once his tongue snaked inside. When you managed to stay still, he wriggled and whirled his tongue between your clenched walls and shoved as deep as he could. Not enough to make you cum right away, but it was enough to stroke him faster and harder.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned when he removed his tongue to give teasing licks, “Fuck, baby, like that. Jerk me off like that.”

Chan’s hips bucked upwards and his muscles tensed as you squeezed and jerked him. Even if your arm burned, you kept the pace just for him. His dick pulsated and throbbed in your hand, and you knew he was close by the curling toes and the grip of your ass. Then, you stopped which made him grunt inside you.

“Please, don’t cum yet,” you said in your smallest, sweetest voice. “I want cum with you.”

“I can hold it,” he assured you, “Don’t you worry about that. Keep sucking my dick,” he ordered, “I want to fuck your pretty throat just like you’ve wanted.”

Holding the back of your neck with one hand, Chan kept you in place and started thrusting his hips upwards. You never felt such satisfaction before. You kept your mouth wide open so he heard the gagging sounds and felt your drool dripping down his length. Streams of curses mixed with your name as he let go of his restraint. He said everything you’d always pictured him saying.

“Such a good boy…taking your leader’s cock so well and letting him use you like this…Fuck, YN…”

“I only want to make you happy, Leader-nim,” you breathed when he pulled out, taking hold of him to tap him on your face and lips. “You do so much for us and you're so good to me. I want to make you feel good.” 

“Oh?”

You yelped and giggled when he rolled you over, this time being on top. Settling himself over you facing forward, Chan dug into your mouth at a new angle. You held onto his thighs, nails softly digging into the firm muscles as he started rocking back and forth. He never took his eyes off you, almost as if entranced by the sight of your lips firmly sucking his cock. Chan barely let you breathe. He’d withdraw, smear more precum and spit over your lips as you panted, then plunged right back in. You whined when he finally pulled away from you.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he bent to lightly kiss you, “You’re getting something better. Just stay still for me, alright?”

He grinned when you nodded, pecking your cheek and reaching over to the headboard behind him. Hidden behind pillows was a bottle of lubricant, which he popped open and spread a generous amount on his length. Chan stroked himself over you, admiring your naked body and hard cock for a moment before pressing to your entrance. You held your legs up by the knees to expose yourself, giving your body over to him completely.

“I’ll start off slow,” he said in a shaky breath as he rolled himself around you, “And you tell me when you want me to go faster. Okay?”

“Okay.”

The both of you laughed and shared another kiss, regardless of where your mouths had been. He took advantage of the moment and pushed the tip gently into you. Chest rising and falling in heavy breaths, your grip tightened under your knees as a second inch went inside. You finally felt the full girth of him, a slight burning coming with each thrust, but it felt good. Your cock throbbed between your legs, precum leaking onto your stomach and you reached down to touch yourself. Chan didn’t stop you. He was too focused on what was going on between you. You whined between pursed lips, eyes pleading with him to finally fill you, and stroked yourself slowly. When he finally reached the base, you saw the restraint in him threatening to break. Being full of him, his tip easily pushed to your g-spot and you thought you might cum right then. A flood of pleasure burst open once your body understood what was happening.

“Keep touching yourself for me,” he said in your ear, rocking languidly into you. He hardly pulled out, only going an inch or two, “I love watching you do it.”

“Then I’ll-I’ll do it for you whenever you want,” you promised, head tilting back when he went particularly deep.

Chan kept the same gradual speed while you attempted to keep in time with it. When he knelt up, eyes still focused on your body, you couldn’t help admiring him back. A faint pink tinge going from cheeks to neck, messy curls hanging over his face, and swollen lips parted in his moans, you wanted to capture the moment forever. The image alone had you jerking a bit faster, squeezing your head until strings of precum came out.

"Go faster,” you finally whimpered after a time. “Please, Leader-nim.”

“Like this?” He started at a medium, shallow pace.

“Mm, faster. Fucking pound my ass, please. Please, I want it-Oh god!”

Pulling you closer by your knees, legs to his shoulders, Chan finally gave you what you both wanted. His bed lightly tapping the wall behind him, both your moans and groans mixed together in the still air. When he leaned back, held up by his arms, Chan entered in a new angle that drove you insane. You kept jerking off in front of him, knowing you were close to orgasming, and he knew it too.

“You can cum, baby,” he assured you, pushing his hips into yours, “I want to see you cum for me.”

“I want you to cum too,” you whined, your body slowly becoming more sensitive and quaking. “Please, Leader-nim, cum with me. Cum inside me, on me, however you want.”

“Then make me cum.”

You sat up and settled onto his lap. Chan sat with his legs outstretched, holding you by the hips as he cradled you. Sitting on it, you saw stars with him fully inside you. The both of you locked together, you pumped your fist over your cock while working Chan in time with it. Chan stared down to the scene below, just holding and watching as his own orgasm slowly approached. He’d been wanting to cum for a while, but withheld it to let you enjoy him. Now, he got to witness your climax up close.

“Go on,” he encouraged you, pinching your nipple for extra pleasure, “Make me cum. You want it so bad, then do it.”

“Oh god, Chan,” you moaned in a shaky breath, “Chan, Channie-hyung, fuck, oh my god.”

With a final push, both orgasms finally burst through. Hard and fast, they hit each of you like a freight train. Neither of you cared how loud or desperate you became. Your cum spilled over your fingers and squirted onto Chan’s stomach while his shot into the deepest part of you. Yet, even as you came down, it didn’t feel like enough. You’d wanted this for so long, and you needed more. Chan did not even have to ask. As his body started relaxing, he pulled you off him and onto your front. You didn’t object as he sandwiched his cock between your ass cheeks, enjoying the overstimulation that kept him from softening.

“You’re going to cum again for me,” he said, hand around your throat and lips pressed to your ear, “And again and again until I’m satisfied. I don’t care how long we’re here or how long it takes you.” He started with the same slow speed, “I’m loving this way too much to stop now.” 

“Yes,” you breathed, face half-buried in his sheets, “I don’t want to stop either.”

“That’s my boy,” he smirked, kissing the edge of your ear before sliding his tip over your hole. “Just relax for me,” he kissed the back of your shoulder, “And let me enjoy touching you.”

He lifted one leg up and reached around to stroke your sensitive cock. You shifted from the slight sparks his fist created, hands clawing around the sheets as you stayed still underneath him. He whispered more tender, filthy things in your ear while he steadily worked you to a full erection again. You still couldn’t believe this was happening. His hard body pressed on top of yours felt unreal. His arm snaked between the crevasse of hip and thigh, gingerly fondling you was only a dream. You whined and moaned each time he touched a particularly sensitive spot, pushing for friction and just to hear him hum in your ear. 

“This can’t really be real” you giggled, twitching when his thumb rolled around your tip. “I’m gonna wake up from a nap or something with a huge hard on and realize this isn't real.”

“I hope it’s real,” he replied, giving it a few gentle strokes as it grew in his hand. “Because I think I’d die if I woke up right now.” 

“Then let's not wake up,” you turned your head enough to kiss him briefly, earning more on your cheek and jawline. “Don’t let me wake up.”

“I won’t even let you sleep,” he said, a smirk in his voice as he pushed himself back inside you. “We’re not stopping until we’re completely empty,” he gave a slightly deeper push, “And I think we’re far from that right now.” 

When he slipped back inside, he did so at a sideways angle, keeping you pinned by a hand to your back as he charged. You saw stars once again, moaning into the sheets and gripping them tightly. Shaking and trembling, the friction of the sheets on your cock and Chan’s tip pushing directly onto your g-spot brought on bursts of sensitivity. You suddenly felt every point of pleasure you could. His weight kept you from meeting his hips, and this restraint aroused you more. 

“God, you’re taking my dick so well,” he groaned in a low voice, withdrawing and pushing back in several times. “It’s like this ass was made for me.”

“And that your dick was made for me.”

He chuckled through his teeth, hand going to your hair and grabbing a fistful of it. Chan stayed in that position a few minutes before pulling out completely. With a muttered ‘ride me’, you pushed him onto his back near the pillows and straddled him. You didn’t waste time. 

“That’s it,” he groaned, arms behind his head as he let you take control. “Throw it back just like that.”

Holding him down by his arms, you grinded and bounced on the dick swelling inside you. He felt too good. How could one person feel so good? You gripped his muscled arms, clenched your ass tightly. Your thighs started to burn by the time the both of you began shivering again. Soon, you milked a second orgasm out of him. He came in hard, shaking, panting breaths. He feverishly pushed up to you, causing your eyes to roll back each time. 

“Breed me, Leader-nim,” you groaned, clawing at his arms and mouth hanging open. “Fucking breed me, please. I want to be full of you…so fucking full…”

Chan made his last few thrusts deep, shooting as far as he could and becoming more sensitive as you kept going. The obscene sounds of his wet cock plunging into your full bottom brought you to orgasm all on its own. Your entire body tightened, nearly suffocating and blinding you in a shattering climax. When you finally came down, neither of you really stopped. Your body became too used to your position, so you only grinded on him as you bent down for a deep kiss. Chan remained inside even when he rolled you onto your sides. Wrapped around each other, you enjoyed the feeling of him simply planted there by the hilt. His lips went anywhere they could reach while your hands explored his body once more, memorizing trails and lines on him. 

“Let’s stay here tonight,” he said, kissing you softly. “I don’t want to be anywhere else but here right now.”

“Me either,” you agreed, eyes closed to take in his lips on your neck. “It feels right.”

“What does?”

“Being here with you,” you ran a hand up his neck to his hair, guiding him back to your lips. “It just feels right.”

“Oh yeah?” He gave a few pushes that produced a whine from you, “This does?”

“Yes,” you whispered. 

You whimpered when he withdrew and rolled you onto your front once more. Easily, he dragged you down the bed to the edge where he crouched down. Relaxing on to bed, you only hummed as he licked up the mess he’d left. He didn’t object when you idly played with yourself at the same time, enjoying the overstimulation coursing from both ends. When bits of drool fell onto your shaft, you used it as lube to slicken your hand. 

“This feels right too?” he asked between licks, sticking two fingers through your exposed hole. 

“Yes,” you breathed, wriggling and pushing into his hand until he held you down by your ass cheeks. You moaned when he slapped each cheek a few times, grabbing them hard and burying his fingers in your ass once more. “Maybe it was a bad thing for me to send those group chat videos.”

“Why, baby?”

“Because now you know every…every weakness…” 

“Or maybe we just like the same things,” he suggested, flicking his tongue over your balls and sucking them while you jerk yourself off. “Maybe you’re not the only pervert in this group, hm? Maybe I’m just as bad as you?” He smacked your ass just to hear you moan again, “Ever thought of that?” He slapped it one more time. “Huh?” 

“God, I hope that’s true,” you laughed. The slight stinging added to the fire kindling inside you again. “I feel so embarrassed when I think about how much I want to be fucked every day.”

“I do too,” he said, kissing your ass one more time before standing. He squeezed your cheeks together to sandwich his dick between them. The light grazes matched your strokes, and you wriggled at the sensation. “It’s all I think about,” he admitted, groaning when his tip nearly slipped into your ass, “Especially with you around. I have to stand in our dressing room, watching you get undressed and can’t stop thinking about fucking you into the nearest wall.” 

“Channie…”

“Or see you in the booth and think about bending you over a stool and recording your moans…”

“Please,” you moaned, “Do it. Do it all. Whenever you want. Please,” you moved his hands and held your cheeks apart, “Pretty please?”

You got your answer in another swift motion. Too worn out to stop him, you knelt there as Chan pulled you onto him. The idea of being Chan’s personal sex toy sounded too good to be true. You wanted so much more from him than that, but you’d be lying if you said that wouldn’t be a perk. Your third orgasm wasn’t as hard as the first two, though you found yourself pushing back to meet Chan’s hard, fast thrusts. He shot his third load over your ass, painting your cheeks with thin, clear streams and droplets of cum as he finished. 

Your bodies nearly jelly, the two of you laid on his bed in complete bliss. The most you both could do is light kisses and whispered words of love. You never felt more comfortable with a lover before. Albeit, your last partner was years ago and you’ve done nothing with anyone since, but it still felt real. Juhwan might’ve been your first love, yet you felt Chan becoming the real one. You couldn’t imagine anyone else in his place; not even the other members. Not really. You knew what they meant now as you admired Chan, listening to him talk about how he ended up getting his special neck pillow. 

Only a gentle knock on the door alerted you to the outside world. Changbin’s voice came through the door as he said, “You guys hungry? Han’s ordering chicken.”

“What do you think?” Chan asked you, holding you from behind under his covers as a movie played on his television. You'd both cleaned off as much as you could in your worn out state and cuddled together in his bed. 

“Chicken sounds good.”

“Sure!” he called back to Changbin. 

Changbin remained strangely quiet, then he opened the door a crack. Poking his head in, he took in the scene of you both, then said, “If you guys aren’t too tired later, Han and I-”

“-No!” Chan laughed, grabbing a balled up paper to toss at him. 

This made Changbin laugh and close the door. Nuzzling your neck, Chan suggested you both clean up properly before dinner. Yet, you had no desire to move. 

“We need to, baby,” he chuckled, face buried in your hair. “As nice as it is, we can’t stay like this.”

“Says who?” you challenged playfully, pulling both his arms around you so he stayed close. 

“Says me,” he replied. “Come on,” he groaned as he detangled himself from you. “Shower time.”

“We took a shower,” you pouted, reaching for his hand. Lord, he was gorgeous like this. “Stay.”

“You need another,” he insisted, bending to kiss you. 

“Hmph, fine,” you said, still pouting and getting off the bed. “But we’re coming right back,” you put your arms around his middle, “For more cuddles.”

“I wouldn’t want to do anything else…” he then quickly added, “Except maybe another round or two before we pass out completely.”

The both of you laughed as he led you out of the bedroom. If the world ended right then, you’d leave it happy. 

****

A/N: yaaaaay it finally happened!! Now that these two idiots are slowly coming together (wink), let's see how things develop! Thanks for reading <3 reblog and like please <3

[lavellane]

ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below

2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same

that being said . obviously i didnt like the game

which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.

but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.

for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me

regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok

and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.

lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.

but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.

i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.

and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.

there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.

so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest

leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.

[phampires]

i said a while ago i wanted to read dan and phil's astrology charts, so here is Dan's!

warning it is Long

disclaimer: ive studied astrology for 10 years and this is just what i read and interpret his chart as. astrology is fun and this is not to be taken seriously....this is all my interpretation and opinion!

Dan's big three: Gemini sun, Gemini moon, Cancer rising.

this truly is an individual quick to love and hate. he is reluctantly ruled by emotions, but also with swift wit, making him seem impulsive with his words. he needs connection above all else.

his emotions are erratic and quick, he may be moody or move on either too quickly, or never. he is hard to pin down emotionally, because his emotions rule him, than the other way around. he is quick witted, funny, anxious, and intellectual. has a hard time verbalizing emotions, especially having his sun, moon, and mercury in the 12th house, which internalizes everything. he needs an outlet for those emotions because it's all zooming around in his head CONSTANTLY, his mind never quiets. may like to write his feelings, rather than speak them

he uses humor to cover his emotions up, and it might be hard to get closer to him unless he lets down that barrier.

cancer rising is like a big uncovered nerve....very sensitive. they go through life sensitively and are in tune with others around them, which can exhaust them. they are always trying to make sure everyone is happy and sometimes neglect that for themselves. they also are known for having a baby face! they are warm and protective of others, and loyalty means everything to them.

his Venus and Mars in Leo....... Loves attention. He fucking craves it. he is also quick and impulsive with emotions but feels a deep sense of pride. he gets embarrassed easily and nothing makes him angrier than feeling embarrassed or like his character/pride is being attacked. he is fiercely loyal and is definitely the jealous type. will stand up for his loved ones. his love language may be words of affirmation/compliments!

the Gemini mixed with the Leo...he loves to talk. he is very loud lol. an energetic warrior ;) but only behind closed doors, because he wants to control the image he portrays to others intensely. he's all about image, he's very calculated when it comes to that. he wants people to only see what he wants them to see, he loves to put on a show. a big entertainer.

his second house is with his mars, Venus, and Jupiter. the second is the house of material possessions, ruled by Taurus (Venus). he loves fashion, money, and it's a core need for him to be able to buy whatever he wants. he has an innate eye for design. he is particular about this, and can seem controlling over these things. Jupiter expands so he has luck in this area, of beauty, money, and material possessions, and security through these things is a big thing for him.

this cheeky fucker....Has Uranus and Neptune in the 7th house. wherever Uranus is, it's unconventional and rebellious. where Neptune is, it's naive and idealistic. the 7th house is relationships.... Pointing to the fact that he has an ambiguous relationship with someone who people speculate about because it confuses them 👀 he hates to be tied down and can be rebellious against traditional relationships. mix this with the idealistic, hopelessly romantic Neptune, and you have a big confusing feeling inside you where the two wolves are always fighting. he wants a soulmate and believes deeply in love, but hates that part of him and thinks it's corny and useless.

his 7th is also in Capricorn, which is hilarious because it is typical for this placement to seek older partners (lol), and to seek someone with Capricorn qualities, who seems established, controlled, and mature. this also indicates luck in business partnerships. he sees relationships as hard work, dedication, and responsibility.

he has Pluto in the 5th house, and pluto is the death and rebirth of that area. the 5th house is hobbies, games, romance/dating, sports, creativity, etc. he has crashed and burned in this area multiple times, and these are areas of intense passion for him...he obsesses over romance, he comes across intense. he longs for that connection. his creativity is hard for him to control, creative blocks may be intense, but he has so many ideas all the time and will stop at nothing to bring them to fruition. also indicates someone who has many talents in many areas, and has a hard time choosing just one.

overarching themes of his chart: he craves romance and connection, he can be a bit naive in that area, but he hates tradition and commitment and struggles a lot with those two parts of himself. he is attracted to powerful, strong, and caring types. he is jealous and protective and craves loyalty, as he himself is loyal. he is loud and creative and fun, and he controls his image well. he holds a lot of himself inside and his inner mind is always moving and growing. he is witty and uses humor to connect but also to shield. he is intense and serious, but hides that behind an entertaining exterior.

[astrobymarwa]

riize as lovers

(based on moon venus mars and juno placements. since their birth times are unknown, this won't be too detailed)

disclaimer: pls continues boycotting, it's the only chance we have

shotaro

moon: scorpio

venus: capricorn

mars: libra

juno: aquarius

ideal type

he likes unique people. he likes people who are innovative and not scared to express themselves. people he can talk to about anything and everything. he also likes people who have clear goals and know how to reach them.

as a boyfriend

he'd love to be on equal footing with his partner, he wouldn't be controlling or into controlling people. he loves to share things with his lover and discuss everything with them. he's a sensual lover that loves to give and receive. he's a protective, sweet and caring lover

eunseok

moon: capricorn

venus: aries

mars: sagittarius

juno: aries

ideal type

he likes bold people. people who are strong willed and are willing to do whatever they want. he likes people who are ambitious to the point of being childish at times. he likes people who are simple and are living in the moment. he also likes people who are spontaneous and playful

as a boyfriend

he's a caring and dependable lover. he's protective and wouldn't hesitate to help you out with things. he'd express himself in more practical than emotional ways. he's a flirty and a playful lover, but he'd also want to be taken seriously. he'd love to teach his partner things, and learn things from them too.

sungchan

moon: cancer

venus: leo

mars: capricorn

juno: cancer

ideal type

he likes people who are tender and sweet. people who are caring, nurturing and empathetic. someone that embodies usually feminine traits. someone who's a homebody and isn't loud.

as a boyfriend

he's a sweet and caring boyfriend. he'd care a lot about the sentimental aspects of the relationship. he'd tend to their needs and would take care of the person he loves. he'd love to give gifts and show off his partner. he's loyal and would give everything he has to his lover. he's domestically dominant and would love to do things for his partner

wonbin

moon: libra

venus: pisces

mars: taurus

juno: leo

ideal type

he likes passionate and loud people. he likes people who are confident and determined, people who aren't scared to voice their opinions. he likes people who attract a lot of attention and are looked up to by people. he likes people who look strong but are very sweet once you get to know them.

as a boyfriend

he's a gentle and sweet lover. he'd give space for his lover to express their feelings and desires fully. he's thoughtful and considerate, always trying to solve things and make things right. he's a chill and kind lover. he's romantic and cares about sentimental things too. he's empathetic and cares a lot.

seunghan

moon: sagittarius

venus: libra

mars: pisces

juno: scorpio

(his moon is on the sagittarius/capricorn cusp but i think he's a sag moon so that's what i used for the reading)

ideal type

he likes sensual and mysterious people. he loves someone that is private and would love to try to figure them out. he likes people who are alluring and don't shy away from harder and darker things

as a boyfriend

he's a flirty and playful boyfriend. he values intimacy and would want to share everything with his partner. he would want an all comsuming love where they'd just get lost in each other. he loves a push and pull and courting his partner. he'd like to make an effort and see his partner make effort for him. he's a sweet and gentle boyfriend who tends a lot to his lover

sohee

moon: libra

venus: sagittarius

mars: pisces

juno: sagittarius

ideal type

he likes people who are bold and driven. he likes people that are knowledgeable and he can learn a lot from. he's likes people who are brave and adventurous. someone who would challenge him a bit.

as a boyfriend

he's a spontaneous and impatient lover. he loves to learn things with and from his lover. he would love to explore things and travel with his partner. he's restless and would want to do many things and activities with his partner

anton

moon: aries

venus: taurus

mars: gemini

juno: capricorn

ideal type

he likes confident and accomplished people. someone who he can lean on and seek advice from. someone who has set goals and knows how to achieve them. someone artistic and intellectual. someone smart and practical.

as a boyfriend

he's supportive and dependable, and expects the same in return. he's a simple person, his feelings are simple, he's not the type to hide things or try to make you second guess anything. he'd love to talkabout anything and everything. he'd love to do arts or discuss art with his partner.

[shouts-into-the-void]

Just read screenshots of the Aaron extra chapter and I have so many thoughts, so here they are:

It's always so funny to me to be reminded of the fact that the animosity between Aaron and Neil is mostly one-sided. Like, Neil finds Aaron frustrating, but all the antagonistic stuff he does to him is ultimately in service of helping him in some way and while he's angry when Aaron provokes him, he otherwise regards him with disinterest and even expresses the desire to see what he's like when he's relaxed and enjoying himself during the party with the Vixens. Meanwhile Aaron just really hates that man.

I really appreciated Nora using this chapter to clear up some of the gripes a lot of the fandom has had with Aaron's character in the past and confirm that Aaron's comments to Nicky have to do with his cousin making graphic and unwanted sexual advances on their teammates, and his accusations towards Neil were from a place of concern for his brother. I also liked that it was pointed out that of course he would have at least some internalized homophobia due to being raised by religious zealots in a conservative area, but is unlearning it due to Nicky.

On a similar note, I'm glad that we were provided the context that Nicky's inappropriate behavior is a defense mechanism to weed out people who might hurt him rather than legitimate advances, because I think the fandom tends to forget that he is also a character with extreme trauma written outside of the "perfect victim" stereotype. His actions aren't okay, but the entire point is that they are the result of what he's had to endure just like every other member of the team

The implication that Andrew specifically signed with the Foxes so Aaron could go to college

Aaron and Andrew have the same nervous habit of picking at loose thread

It causes me physical pain to see Andrew clearly trying to open up to Aaron about his self-harm, but because his way of communicating is less straightforward (he doesn't lie, but he because he stuggles to confront and be open with his emotions, he presents the truth in flowery, vague language) and because the two dont really know or understand each other, Aaron can't fully grasp the implications of what he's saying

On the subject of things that cause me physical pain: baby Aaron telling his mom that he wanted to be a neurosurgeon like the people on TV and her laughing and saying he'd never make anything of himself. Fuck Tilda Minyard, all my homies hate Tilda.

Andrew is so uncomfortable, someone Get Him Out of There.

Going off that and his nervous habits (that Aaron mentions he did often enough to be noticable as a habit premedication), I am highkey wondering if the reason Sober Andrew doesn't talk to anyone outside Neil is because he's just. Socially Awkward.

We get a little bit of insight into Andrew's "misogyny" (I personally think distrusting certain people as a result of extreme personal trauma is a little bit different than just being sexist, in the same way women distrusting men because they're used to being harassed and belittled isn't misandry, but that's up to your personal opinion) and that his distain for Katelyn comes from the fact that he thinks she's stringing Aaron along and will turn out to be awful like his previous girlfriends (there's also a notable implication that Aaron has the same self-destructive tendencies as Andrew, and may be why he went out of his way to get him into college and on the straight-and-narrow) also see that this extends to Bee as well despite their close relationship, with him being so afraid that she'd reject him for being gay that he can't even look at her while talking about Neil, probably made worse by the fact that she's a maternal figure for him, which is where this trauma response originates.

Aaron is the only person on the team who's aware that Andrew hasn't slept with Neil, and the only one to grasp the significance of the fact that they've gotten close to that point already despite Andrew's trauma, outside of Renee

It was overall really interesting to see inside Aaron's head (I actually wouldn't mind a book from his perspective, he has a similar way of thinking to Neil but much more grounded) and to see Andrew through the lense of someone who just views him as Just A Guy

[tubbytarchia]

I swear to god 99% of people watching WL forgot who won SL. Put some respect on his name

[nastasya--filippovna]

Crush Culture; Conan Gray x Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing 2011)

For me these two will always be ace icons. Thank you Shakespeare for writing Ace characters that can and do fall in love.

There's this general misunderstanding that just 'cause you're Ace ergo you're also Aro. Aro and Ace are two separate identities. Some people on the spectrum identify a both Aro and ace hence they're Aroace (simple really!)

And I think that's the same misunderstanding these two have internalized. They've been told that just because you don't like someone "like that" also means that you are not capable of loving.... that love is just "not for you".

So here's to all the Ace people who have those who will find their love, their soulmate, and whoever matches their freak. I love you all!

Lovely moots: @a-singing-lunatic @shadesofecclescakes @suburbia-and-brentwood-market @glitterypin @angie-words

@davidtennantgenderenvy @dreamsfrozenincandyland @turtleneck-crowley @dtmsrpfcringe @princeloww

@consanguinitatum @mystic-mae @cranberry-sniffer

It would mean so much to my pathetic low self-esteem ass if you checked out my edit!! Lots of love 😘

[egophiliac]

so we know you love diasomnia endlessly, but who is your favorite character from each of the other dorms

this is SO hard to answer, because so many of the characters are, like, those pet adoption ads that say "MUST STAY TOGETHER, CANNOT BE SEPARATED". it's all about the relationship dynamics! and I think everybody in the main cast is pretty neat, honestly; there isn't anyone who doesn't have something I really like about them. but if I haaaaad to choose...

Hearts - Trey, partly because I do like me a good Mom Friend™ character, and partly because he pretends like he's all sane and normal, right up until he does something to prove he's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. you're not immune, sir.

Savana - BUFF 👏 TSUNDERE 👏 WEREWOLF 👏

Octa - this one took a lot of soul-searching, because I do feel like the Octatrio is at their very best when it's all three of them, especially when they're in full Ed Edd n Eddy mode. but in the end, Jade ekes out a win, because sometimes you get this Jade:

and then when he gets back from his nice mushroom-foraging hike, you get this Jade:

Scara - Kalim, my sweet little moron. such a good heart, so few braincells.

Pome - 90% of the time when Rook shows up, you know it's going to a be fun time watching a silly little man dance around and break into song for no reason and wax poetic about the beauty of, like, a chair. always a delight!

except every once in a while, he'll bust out something that is absolutely insane even by Twst standards:

this isn't a complaint, it's just. why is he like this. I want to study him under a microscope, except I'm afraid of what I might find.

Igni - MUST STAY TOGETHER! CANNOT BE SEPARATED! ...but I would probably go with Ortho, just because right now I'm pretty invested in his Learning Emotions story arc and looking forward to seeing it progress. he's a good boy who will post your cringe fanfic publicly if you annoy him

...and at this point I'm calling technicality because the ask says "other dorms", and I genuinely do not think I could choose between the Dia boys at this point. let's see how episode 7 goes first!

[asha-mage]

The Seattle Polycule's got nothing on the assholes from Night City.

Consider enlarging for readability- I did my best for the amount of effort this was going to get.

(File under: things I made while procrastinating the final mission in Cyberpunk 2077).

[machineheraldbabe]

my arcane hot takes/predictions

i believe all of these things but! it's all in good fun. there isn't a character i genuinely dislike; every one serves their purpose, their motivations are fully realized, and every dilemma they endure/represent is morally complex and super fascinating!!

i love reading/talking about this show :)

If we had to nominate a single character as the show's villain in s1 (rather than the enforcers as a unit, or silco's shimmer operation, etc.), it would be marcus. if he hadn't taken silco's blood money, none of this would have happened.

jayce is "worse" than viktor in season 1 morally; "worse" comes with a lot of weight, ofc. i think season 1 follows jayce's story especially closely, from starry-eyed genius, to political initiate, to chess-master-in-training. the narrative indulges and displays his darkest traits and contrasts his narrative of moral emptiness with viktor's story of lonesome self-sacrifice. this is why i think it's VERY interesting that jayce allows viktor to break the news about his deal with silco for an independent undercity.

BUT! viktor will completely flip this dynamic next season, and viktor fans like myself will find ourselves in jayce's shoes! i can't wait for this!

relatedly, i am eager for a complete villain arc for viktor. it's mostly agreed upon that his story is incredibly sympathetic, but i'm hoping that the writers push him a few steps too far. i don't want to be comfortable - i want to watch a true degradation of morals to complicate what it means to redeem or condemn someone with such a tragic past. it'll blend very nicely with our initial impressions of vi's s2 story.

jinx is the main character of arcane and i love that for her.

vi's alleged enforcer arc makes Perfect sense, especially when contrasted with her dialogue with vander in act 1: "i grew up thinking that i am less than them." she can't be less than them if she's one of them.

mel hates viktor and was worried that jayce prioritized his relationship with viktor too highly. this comes from the scene where jayce confides in her that viktor is dying and her first remark is: "i didn't know you were so close." not long after, she silently belittles viktor when convincing jayce that the hextech weapons are a necessity by looking down upon him and refusing to consult him. i also want to be So Clear that i adore her character and that this is NOT a criticism; both scenes are phenomenal and are integral into their tripartite dynamic.

caitlyn was way out of pocket for her aggression in ep 9 and it definitely revealed her character's darkest tendencies that i think we'll see more of in s2.

viktor will be the sleeper-agent for s2. i know i'm projecting here but think about it - even visually, he has his own shade of purple amidst shimmer's fuchsia and hextech's blue. much like how powder's stealing was the initial conflict in s1, i think viktor has the same catalyst potential.

the worst things s2 could do are a) killing off a champion too early (save the deaths for ep8/9!) and b) giving viktor a love interest.

[frankiebirds]

s05e09 - 100

s02e15 - revelations

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I really love how you draw Karkat and Calliope. You've already talked about how the other relationships within the POABPCL, so I was wondering if you could talk about Callikar in more depth as well.

Heehee okay so the short reasoning is that first of all, Karkat is also highly reminiscent of Caliborn, so there's Calliope's natural attraction there. But also Calliope desperately wants to experience a flushed romance, and Karkat is a crazy person who can't keep his quadrants straight. Which, for Calliope, would actually be a plus instead of a minus????

But yeah, for the Caliborn similarities, apart from the grey text and (mostly) capital letters and general cantankerousness and candy red blood and random textual callbacks to shit Karkat says:

CG: OK I DON'T SEE HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BECOMING FRIENDS IF YOU RECOIL FROM MY OLIVE BRANCH LIKE I'M WIGGLING A GNARLED TREE MONSTER'S DICK IN YOUR DIRECTION. [...] uu: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE BECOMING FRIENDS. IF YOU RECOIL FROM MY OLIVE BRANCH. uu: LIKE I'M FLAILING A WITHERED MUMMY'S SEVERED LIMB IN YOUR DIRECTION.

CG: THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DUMB CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD. CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANIMOSITY IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE. [...] uu: AND THE FACT THAT I MIGHT NOT CLuE YOu INTO YOuR FATE ALL THE TIME. uu: DuE TO MY AGGRAVATED APATHY OVER THE MATTER. uu: IS AN IMMuTABLE FACT. I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD. uu: IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT GIVING A SHIT IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.

Did you know they both weirdly have a thing for right angles?

DAVE: i dont want to see your lines making any right angles do you understand KARKAT: IN MY MIND'S EYE I AM PICTURING A BEAUTIFUL LATTICE OF LINES AND COMPARTMENTS, INTERLOCKING WITH SUBLIME PRECISION AT NINETY DEGREE ANGLES. KARKAT: I IMAGINE THIS MODULAR RETICULATION AS AN ELEGANT VESSEL, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE GRAND SYNTHESIS OF OUR SHARED SHIPPING DREAMS.

So yeah, you know, they've got some similarities! Enough to fuel some initial cherubic romantic interest, I feel.

But obviously, cherubic romance is primarily - if not exclusively - pitch. Calliope expresses this in a way that makes it very much sound like it's a setup that her happy ending does, in fact, involve her finding a matesprit.

UU: thoUgh i trUly wish i were capable of those feelings. UU: perhaps the fact that i am not is why the topic fascinates me so. UU: and why i have been prone do indUlge in sUch... UU: fancifUl visUalizations. UU: of yoUr people's lovely bright red relationships. UU: they mUst be nice. u_u

Personally, I think that cherubs "can't experience redrom" the way humans "can't experience blackrom". In that, y'know. ;)

But let's move from Calliope's side from a moment and talk about Karkat. Hey, do y'all remember how he had a crush on a different Space player? (The fact that Karkat actually totally had a crush on Jade, and continued to think incredibly fondly of her for years after the fact, to the point of using one of her passwords as the password to his dream hive, gets lost in the melange of ~yaoi~ is honestly one of the reasons I'm not a fan of DaveKat).

CCG: I'M GOING TO VOMIT. CCG: I'M MAKING A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSELF THREE HOURS FROM NOW, FOR BEING ENOUGH OF A SAP TO START DEVELOPING RED FEELINGS FOR A DUMB ANNOYING HUMAN, IF I'M READING BETWEEN THE LINES CORRECTLY. FCG: I JUST SLAPPED MYSELF! I REMEMBERED MY LAME NOTE TO MYSELF FROM THREE HOURS AGO, AND THEN SLAPPED MYSELF SPECIFICALLY TO MOCK YOU. FCG: IT STINGS TOO, YOU'LL FEEL IT IN A WHILE. AND THEN THE GHOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY.

Hussie's commentary on this is also fucking hilarious, by the way:

First, by defending Jade like this, Future Karkat is virtually making the case to his own past self to give her a chance, and to try to acknowledge that his aggression toward her is masking romantic attraction. If that wasn't nuts enough, the altercation doubles as an actual confession of this to Jade, which she now has to bear in mind as she goes forward befriending this guy. Like most other shouting matches Karkat has with himself, it's a complete free-for-all of self-owns and eyebrow-raising psychological revelations. And yet, in the totality of this clusterfuck, it's probably about as sufficient as anything else he could have done to get her to start giving the friendship a chance. How do you sidle out of something like this? You don't. This miserable basket case needs all the help he can get.

But this is another example of Karkat's horrible problem with mixing his quadrants and sending out all sorts of mixed signals, which he lambastes himself for later RE: Terezi.

FCG: IS IT?? TELL ME, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU TREATED HER IN A WAY THAT COULD BE OBJECTIVELY CONSTRUED AS A FORM OF BLACK SOLICITATION? CCG: THAT'S JUST CCG: NO, THAT'S HOW WE'VE ALWAYS ROLLED TOGETHER. IT'S LIKE CCG: SPIRITED PLATONIC CONTENTION. CCG: TOTALLY NORMAL TERRITORY IN A HEALTHY MATESPRITSHIP. FCG: YEAH, A *HEALTHY* ONE, NOT ONE INVOLVING A DEMENTED LOUDMOUTH WHO CAN'T KEEP HIS SHIT UNDER CONTROL. FCG: LET ME ASK YOU, HOW MUCH OF THAT ANIMOSITY IS INNOCENT "PLATONIC RAGE"? FCG: COULD IT BE THAT SUBCONSCIOUSLY YOU WANT TO PUSH THINGS WITH HER ONTO CALIGINOUS TURF, MAYBE SEE HOW THINGS WORK OUT THERE? FCG: SEE IF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR GRUB, AND CULL IT TOO?? FCG: THAT WAY YOU HAVE HER ALL TO YOURSELF!

And even his "confession" to jade has shades of this, as he basically forced her to auspicetize between himself and... himself. Just a really messy guy who can't keep his quadrants straight. I've already talked before about how this would be completely fine for Eridan, who is literally too bad at social shit to notice and is just happy for the attention, but... doesn't that seem like it would work for Calliope, whose fundamental attraction model is based in pitch?

And to really get into this, we should also talk about Karkat's taste in movies. The three posters he has hanging up in his room are for Serendipity, Hitch, and 50 First Dates. Between the three of them, it becomes really clear that Karkat is really into the idea of soul mates - of finding a romantic partner that just kind of perfectly clicks with you and all your idiosyncracies, with whom the romance is natural, and brings out the best in both partners.

Serendipity most obviously, as the entire movie is practically a treatise on destiny and fate (and also, if you're only going to watch one, watch this one - it gets namedropped twice in the comic and I genuinely think HS draws like 30% of its DNA from it). Hitch's A-plot couple is widely considered the worse one, but the B-plot couple turn out to be perfect for each other - all the guy's lame, embarrassing aspects just happen to be what she finds adorable, and he just needed a courage boost and chance to be noticed by her. And 50 First Dates features a guy in Hawaii who loves taking visiting tourists on whirlwind romances, but is terrified of commitment, meeting a girl who can't make new memories - functionally rendering every date their first from her perspective - and it's really sweet. It doesn't even make you want to punch Adam Sandler at all. Like, not even a little bit.

In any case, what this says to me is that, while he still needs to undergo character development to be ready for it, the romance Karkat should eventually end up with is one where he doesn't have to compromise who he is, warts and all.

A lot of Karkat's more common fandom pairings tend to downplay, or even outright forget about, how genuinely uncomfortable it is to experience Karkat's nutso vascillation. Even if the edge is taken off via moirallegiance, Karkat is still the sort of messy guy who tells his flushed crush to "set the table on [his] bulge for their candle light hate date." Jade clearly isn't a fan of being treated rudely, while Terezi eventually gets driven off by the mixed signals he puts off... but what if there was a species who primarily experiences pitch attraction, who would find Karkat's frequent dips into black-coded flirtation hot?

And also... Karkat is obviously Calliope's favorite character troll...I mean, she's got his symbol as her cufflinks. And also:

CG: I THINK THIS SUBJECT IS BEYOND A LOT OF PEOPLE'S GRASP BUT I KNOW A LOT ABOUT IT, NOBODY EVER REALLY WANTS TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT THOUGH. AG: Whoa really? Oh no shit, REALLY???????? CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

And:

UU: actUally, i have written hUndreds of pages examining the striking differences between hUman and troll romance, as well as reprodUctive habits, as the comparison makes for a marveloUs case stUdy in xenobiocUltUral differences. UU: as long as i am sharing specUlation with yoU, perhaps yoU woUld like to read my essays? UU: i coUld even paste each page right here in sUccession, and allow yoU to read them back to back to back to back to back to back! ^u^ TT: Oh hell no. UU: ah. UU: yes, yoU're right of coUrse. i'm probably getting carried away as UsUal. UU: forgive my enthUsiasm, it's jUst that i so rarely have anyone to talk to who shares my passion for these matters.

They could both be SO ANNOYING about quadrants and romance together. It would be beautiful.

[symeraid-s]

I had to take some measures before looking up Ultraman: Rising and I think I accidentally created a wasteland.

[bethanyactually]

sometimes I boggle at things the fandom Youths™ don't seem to know these days, especially in an era where virtually anything you want to look up is a mere internet search away and then I realized: it's because bored tweens don't have to resort to reading old issues of Ladies' Home Journal or Glamour in waiting rooms anymore

[lu-sn]

Rank the VegasPete kisses 😈

suz i stg this ask is gonna get me super mega cancelled. when you find my mangled body in a decrepit alleyway tell my family i loved them

-

6. i love you, pete.

listen, no okay, LISTEN, put down your pitchforks, this is an s-tier kiss okay, i know!!!!! I KNOW BUT EVERY VEGASPETE KISS IS INSANE!!!! SOMETHING HAS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM

i did and still do think it's a lil cray cray of vegas to say he's in love with pete like ten days after dicking him down, but the blood-streaked mouths and vegas's devastated face as he pushes pete away afterwards sure do make up for it

5. you must suffer until i'm satisfied

the thing that gets me about this one is the total lack of artifice on vegas's part. despite every touch of his before this having been part of a long, cruel, twisted performance, this one is so gentle. so unassuming. a gift, more than anything else.

the conversation after is critical to their relationship, and i'm not sure pete would have wanted to open himself up like that without this kiss as proof of vegas's... sincerity? vegas isn't playing a game anymore — and pete can finally stop playing too.

4. psycho

head in hands!!! i can't believe this isn't in the top 3 someone send me to jail rn

i don't need to talk about this yall Know. third eye opened brain chemistry rewired brainrot permanently acquired "you like me like this" "i know exactly what i want" the way their hands paw at each other the way vegas smiles the way pete's KNEES GO WEAK I'M FOREVER SCREAMING

3. you're the most important person in my life

ugly sobbing in the gutter they trust each other they cherish each other they're going to work so hard to stay together they're coming together as EQUALS in the LIGHT AFTER THE STORM I'M—

it's the way they cradle each other's faces in their hands, okay. it's the unbearable tenderness, and it's the promises they're making to each other!!! that shit just gets me real bad 😭

2. (we only kiss people we like)

their entire sex scene is characterized by an unexpected, intense tenderness, and this last kiss is really the nail in the coffin for me. the way pete is leaning up into this, chasing vegas's mouth — the way vegas is so unbelievably soft as he presses himself into pete — the space they've carved out together in the darkness for this moment of startling intimacy — something has changed here, in both of them. and it's going to be their undoing.

1. i need you, pete.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME I WILL DIE ON MY LITTLE HILL THIS IS THE BEST KISS IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. SCREENSHOTS DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE. vegas is TREMBLING into this kiss he is TERRIFIED he's made an awful awful mistake and he's about to lose the best thing he's ever had he is CLINGING TO PETE trying to press all of his monstrous love into pete's skin i'm so sorry i didn't mean it i need you i will worship you look at how gentle i can be with you? look at how desperately i want to cherish you please please pete don't leave me MY GOD I AM CHEWING ON THE WALLS IT HURTS SO GOOD

and pete is so vulnerable to this kind of touch. he's shaking too, he's gasping and sobbing and almost can't believe what he's about to do in return. pete intends for this to be their last kiss — and vegas has no idea.