#disaster lineage trauma

[thinking-in-broken-scenes]

@emiliosandozsequence

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Anakin. For all of it.

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Thinking about padawan Cal being on Coruscant during Fives’ arc and somehow running into him and getting an echo off of something Fives had on him. Then helping him, whether by getting him in contact with Quinlan somehow (I think the council would be more likely to believe him over a child, even if they could feel Cal wasn’t lying)

Or in a disaster lineage Cal AU going “I’m gonna call my dads, no offense (full offense) to Anakin, but I think he likes the Chancellor too much to think rationally about this.” and then calling Cody and Obi-Wan, and Palpatine’s plot is uncovered and everything is OKAY and Fives is OKAY and nothing bad ever happens again.

[drachenengel]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jim Curtis (@jimcurtis1)

[jedi-starbird]

A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:

Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."

Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)

"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."

"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."

Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'

"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"

"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."

He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."

"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"

As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.

"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."

"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."

"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."

I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.

Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.

I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.

Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me? Feemor: Yes. Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters. Bly: ...like as a concept...? Obi-wan: No, spiritually.

Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)

Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated! Wolffe: Debatable. Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka! Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!

Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ? Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history. Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.

[thinking-in-broken-scenes]

@emiliosandozsequence

perdon por la falta Sabine...

[classygreydove]

3 Wangxian + Mulan AU ideas

I wrote a comment about this somewhere but couldn't find it again. But basically, I love wangxian. I love mulan. I love mulan au. I'm not really into a/b/o? so here's some mulan au ideas that don't use that specific trope:

Idea #1: transmasc!wwx escapes his miserable life endlessly disappointing Madam Yu and feeling uncomfortable in his own skin by running away to join the military. He meets LWJ, who comes from a very respected Lan lineage of court officials, scholars and generals. LWJ hasn't married yet, despite pressures from family and politics, bc bro is gay and isn't interested in loveless marriage (see: madam lan trauma). He's putting it off by focusing on his career, which is defending the current dynasty from the Wen (a very rich clan from north China trying to overthrow the southern-based dynasty, with the help of a strong nomadic tribe whose leader is zhao zhuliu and whose tribe raises the *best* horses and therefore is very much a Threat.) Wwx, using his radical ideas about fireworks/gunpowder (or some other genius weaponry innovation), ends up turning the tide of the war and defeats the Wen. Lwj is absolutely smitten and wishing he could take those bows so bad, but knowing it is impossible. Somehow, whether injury or madam yu, wwx gets forcibly outed, but is given a general position regardless/offered a place in the Emperor's court instead of execution. Wwx accepts, and continues to dress and act as masc as he pleases, and still being addressed by masc titles (admittedly, part of the reason he can do this is bc misogyny, but still!) and Lwj courts wwx - regardless of others opinions about wwx's unsuitability as a "wife" - and is the most gender-affirming husband to wwx ever, and wwx and lwj live happily ever after.

Idea #2: they're both women. Wwx cross-dresses (maybe has a little fun with gender/gender expression, maybe nb? or just mostly prefers being a woman) to go into the army instead of jc so that jc doesn't die on some battlefield somewhere. Meets lwj, who is also cross-dressing, and whose mother chose to raise her as a son from birth to give her daughter a better future free from the chains she had experienced. She is a very respected general (again from lineage of generals). She recognizes wwx doing a rather poor job of hiding her identity but doesn't say anything, even before wwx earns her respect (and she earns wwx's). Similar plot stuff as idea #1 occurs, wwx is revealed to be a woman. Through either betrothal due to the emperor doing some shipping, or through lwj beginning the courting process herself, wwx and lwj begin courting. As the steps are completed, however, lwj is more and more panicked trying to figure out how to tell wwx she is a woman (luckily, we know wwx is bisexual). Lwj knows she's a woman, but she doesn't know how to *be* a woman, having lived all her life as a man, so she's insecure about that as well. And Will wwx even want her once she discovers lwj isn't a man? Fic ends when wwx and lwj finally have that talk and get married and live happily ever after.

Idea #3: wwx is the well-renowned general tasked with leading his forces against the Wen. Lwj is the transmasc! (or even just cross-dressing woman, bc I confess I love a good het romance that breaks gender roles, as a disaster bisexual) who was childhood friends? betrothed at a young age? to wwx. Lwj is not willing to leave wwx to face the enemy alone, so lwj joins the army and is stationed under wwx. Wwx, who hasn't seen or interacted with lwj in years, finds himself falling in love with this soldier who fights with such dedication and devotion by his side...and Stuff Happens from there.

[righteousnerd]

Oh my god.... the disaster lineage was just a story of generational trauma this whole time...

[charmwasjess]

Your opinions on Rael Aveross? Yee-haw, or no howdy?

Oh, YEE-HAW. Giddy up, Rael Averross!

I admit, it took me a sec to warm up to Rael. If you include Dooku's Sith-era when he was self-medicating with apprentices, the man trained so many students already, characters ripe to be fleshed out, and now instead they invent a new one?? And it's this cowboy-ass talking motherfucker?? (The audiobook voice didn't do me any favors.)

But THEN. Rael. Under that crack cowboy exterior, this is such a fascinating character. He is clearly Dooku's firstborn son - a duelist, Council problem child, card-carrying disaster lineage asshole with all the requisite drama and trauma - but he also has some wonderful warmth to the character. He treats Qui-Gon like a baby brother. He checks in on Dooku's emotional health repeatedly and isn't afraid to speak the truth in love to him. (Hell, he confronts him about his feelings for Sifo-Dyas?) He talks about Master and Padawan dynamics in terms of love and family. He's physically affectionate. He smokes, he curses, he drinks. He fucks. He also says, of Yoda, and I'm quoting directly from Gray's Master and Apprentice novel here: "up the hell, he should shut." There was no going back for me with the character at that point.

I think I like Rael most of all for how he shows us what a Jedi can look like. And for how tremendously his inclusion fleshes out Dooku, in turn, especially early in his life.

[thinking-in-broken-scenes]

@emiliosandozsequence

the second i saw the temple mural in rebels i knew i had to do this

[Image ID: A mural-style drawing of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka styled after the mural of the Mortis gods seen in Rebels. Ahsoka is on the right in her white robe and carrying her scepter, a morai perched on her shoulder. Obi wan is in the middle in his Jedi robes, one hand raised. The Jedi Order symbol is behind his head. Anakin stands on the right, with one half of his face obscured by his Darth Vader mask. His hand is clenched into a fist.]

Version without noise (along with me ranting about couple details I'm way too proud of) under the cut:

The beams of light are emanating from the Jedi Order symbol for Obi-Wan, but for Anakin and Ahsoka they are centred on Obi-Wan's heart

The beams emanating from Obi-Wan all reach the edge of the canvas, but for Anakin and Ahsoka some are incomplete

The colours circling their hands are indicative of their lightsaber colours

The light circling Anakin's hand is tinged blue in Obi-Wan's direction

The light circling Ahsoka's hand is primarily white, but tinged in green, and tinged blue in Anakin's direction

[viinas]

First 6 of my tarot series for my fire and silver characters. If you want to know a bit about them i'll throw some explanations below!

(from the Rider Waite tarot guide) I THE MAGICIAN - Helena Zairi Skill, diplomacy, address, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, self-confidence, will, the Querent himself (if male). Reversed: Physician, Magus, mental illness, disgrace, disquiet Helena’s character journey is largely about coming into her own as a spell caster. She goes from using magic as a nomad solely as a method for survival to finding peace in the connection her power gives her to the elements. Then, after the dust settles and the war ends, she realizes that she is, to her soul, a healer. Naturally, her journey comes with many setbacks as well as debilitating losses in a war created by the generation before her that she is now forced to shoulder and clean up. Her lineage and their connections to greater things throws her onto the center of a battlefield that she, as a peaceful spirit, must learn to navigate.

II THE HIGH PRIESTESS - Kithara Alva Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, the woman who interests the Querent (if male); the Querent (if female), silence, tenacity, wisdom, science Reversed: Passion, moral or physical ardor, conceit, surface knowledge She’s the psychic! Of course she’s the one with all the secrets, mystery, and future yet unrevealed. Really, though, Kithara’s journey centers around uncertainty. Like Hel, she is a young girl forced onto a battlefield despite her own gentle heart. She has experiences the others in the story can’t even comprehend, having died and come back fully corporeal, heart beating anew. With that resurrection came the price of her own humanity slowly eating away at her from within. Kithara must hold onto who she is and where she comes from, finding her own reasons to fight that aren’t dependent on her lineage. She has a quiet, tenacious fire brewing inside of her that has propelled her into making reckless self-serving choices that she isn’t certain are hers or the entity inside of hers. Her passion is a double edged sword of altruistic love and aimless hatred all at once.

XII THE HANGED MAN - Ilum Griam Wisdom, trials, circumspection, discernment, sacrifice, intuition, divination, prophecy Reversed: Selfishness, the crowd, body politic Ilum’s biggest struggle is not allowing his trauma to define him. As a little kid, he was thrust into a world he knew nothing about, wielding a power he couldn’t understand. He carries his regrets like a penance for what he’s done, as if he doesn’t deserve peace. Of everyone in the group, he is the most knowledgeable as he has an insatiable need to be armed with all available information to make up for the time he spent in ignorance. He forces himself through trials of his own making, be that emotional or physical, as retribution. This toes the line between being selfless and selfish, where he’ll gladly sacrifice himself without considering the collateral damage that will cause to those who love him. Ilum prides himself on being a leader and sharing his knowledge where it’s needed just as much as he is loath to allow himself the fruits of his own labors. The card illustration shows him being hung by ghost hands, both a nod to his necromancy and his regrets.

XIII DEATH - Charity Winters End, mortality, destruction, corruption Reversed: Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrification, somnambulism Charity is a child of corruption, her biggest fear being to succumb to the very same darkness that took her father. As such, she is very careful with how she navigates her necromancy and deals with dark spirits. So while she focuses on keeping her mind and soul guarded, her physical safety is easily compromised. Charity’s fire and silver storyline involves her having been incorrectly used as a sacrifice in a blood ritual, thus, she’s at the top of the enemy’s hitlist since she’s the only thing keeping them from achieving their goals. She is forced to confront her own death and mortality in an especially morbid way, having such a connection with the after world and personal experience with what once-innocuous spirits can become. She throws herself head first into danger without considering what all it means for her physically, so long as she can keep her loved ones safe and her mind intact.

XVIII THE MOON - Ellard Charaux Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, error Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error He’s a werewolf! He gets the moon! Ellard’s arc is about decision and honesty both with himself and with others. We start the story with him getting close to Helena because he is tasked with killing her, despite himself, but as he gets to know her and realizes that he’s living in in a pack that’s basically a cult, he has to decide whether it’s more important to stay with the poison he knows at the expense of himself or live a life on the run where he won’t have the community and certainty the pack grants him. Ellard fights with his inner demons a lot and has trouble defining his own moral code. His life was essentially stolen from him since his infancy and his defection comes with the new challenge of figuring out who he is outside of his pain and trauma.

XIX THE SUN - Aero Strynx Marital happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment Reversed: The same in a lesser sense Aero is the antithesis to the wolf packs. He stands for everything that is getting in their way. I gave Aero The Sun instead of The Magician because as a great sorcerer, I feel he represents a sort of overarching power and light that everybody else can draw strength from. He is Helena’s mentor. Ilum’s confidant. Avril’s savior. Kithara’s last ties to her family. He represents something so different to everyone in his life yet with equal importance all around. He is stability. With that, of course, comes his own turmoil and history that he is desperate not to repeat. He is a widower who watched everyone he loved die in his name. He knows great love just as intimately as devastating loss. His wisdom, experiences, and resilience marries everyone around him to their own strengths.

[cross-d-a]

Fandom: Star Wars, Prequel Trilogy, Jedi Apprentice Series, The Wrath of Darth Maul, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars Legends: Tales of the Jedi

Chapter: 29/?

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Xanatos, Qui-Gon JInn & Feemor, Feemor & Bruck Chun, Xanatos & Qui-Gon Jinn

Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Xanatos, Qui-Gon Jinn, Feemor, Bruck Chun, Bant Eerin, Tahl, Quinlan Vos, Ahsoka Tano, Orykan Tamarik, Cay Qel-Droma

Additional Tags:  Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Liberal Use of the Force, It Gets Worse Before it Gets Better, Found Family, Secret Identity, Yoda’s Disaster Lineage, Redemption, Psychological Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Slavery, Minor Character Death, Graphic Death, Graphic Injury, Body Horror, Force Ghosts, Minor OCs, BAMF Obi-Wan Kenobi, Everyone Needs a Hug, Everyone Gets a Hug, Xanatos is a little shit but we love him, Protective Feemor, Bruck Chun gets some character development :)

Summary:

“Young Bant Eerin is having…difficulties.”

Feemor frowns. “Master, we have no way of knowing what she is truly seeing. It could be past, present or future— and we do not even know if the future she sees will come to pass.”

Even so, Bant’s visions are troubling, full of shadow and violence. At the centre of it all is one person. Sometimes man. Sometimes boy. Sometimes something else entirely. But it is always Kenobi, there is no denying that. His essence is the same, no matter how it twists and warps and crumbles.

“If we could only find him—” Qui-Gon interrupts himself, gaze far-off. “In another life, maybe, he could have been my- my padawan, but now…”

Feemor worries for his former Master. And for this strange youngling he’s never even met, and likely never will.

-

In which Obi-Wan acts in the only way he knows how after a lifetime of regret and self-sacrifice.

But the thing with that is this: Obi-Wan has thought himself to be alone for far, far too long. And he is not the only player on the field.

[nimata-beroya]

Some Thoughts

I'm rewatching Rebels yet again, and it made me remember all the talk about Anakin's "questionable" training of Ahsoka in Tales of the Jedi (couple with some comments I've seen recently about the Ahsoka show about how it's never address all the wrong things he did, and criticizing that she called him a good master).. and yet, nobody says the same about Kanan, because if you don't remember, Kanan trained Ezra in a similar manner. Just look at this example in Season 1, episode 12.

And that wasn't the only time they trained that way. There was another moment in an earlier episode when they were doing something like that, standing on the Ghost while flying. A bit reckless if you ask me. In fact, Ezra fell and would've died if it wasn't for Kanan that force pulled him back into the ship.

So, it's not like Anakin was the only one to come up with such a training. Even Jaro Tapal did it with Cal Kestis (to a much, much lesser degree, of course). Was Anakin with the most intense training? Sure, absolutely!! But the circumstances required of him to be that intense. The Ghost crew could pick their battles, and usually of a small scale, going against a dozen or 2 of Stormtroopers with awful aim. Anakin and Ahsoka didn't have that luxury. He had to make sure she could handle the heat of hundreds, thousands droids shooting at her in battle (or as it turned out, dozens clones 💔😭)

And Anakin was a good master to Ahsoka. Was he perfect? Not by a long shot. But neither was Obi Wan to Anakin, nor Qui-Gon Jinn to Obi, and on and on (theirs is the disaster lineage after all). Saying that Anakin was a good master to Ahsoka doesn't mean neither that Ahsoka nor us are forgetting all the horrible things, all the atrocities he committed. It means we're seeing Anakin as a complex person, capable to do good and bad things. People in general can be more than just one thing, they can be contradictory in their actions and motivations.

And I think some people are missing the point of what happened in the World Between Worlds. That moment wasn't about Anakin and his actions, it was about AHSOKA, about what she needed to hear to let go of her fear, to work through her trauma. Sure, said trauma is related to his actions but more important was what Ahsoka was going to do, her decision, her actions, her future.

Well, that's all I wanted to say. And since it's out of my chest, I'll return to my rewatch 😆

[thinking-in-broken-scenes]

@emiliosandozsequence

self-destruct

[terapsina]

Sooooooo... is someone gonna mention how Ahsoka somehow - despite never having met Qui-Gon - seems to have given Sabine Obi-Wan's 'My Master abandoned me in the middle of my training' trauma?

I mean I get how she gave Sabine those 'My Master never actually chose me, and doesn't actually care about me' issues, those ones are family tradition and only Ahsoka herself escaped those (the one sort of trauma Ahsoka actually managed to miraculously avoid, really).

But that specific taste of abandonment trauma? That's straight out of Qui-Gon's guidebook.

Anyway, 'Exhibit Z' of why the Disaster Lineage should have always had mandatory therapy.

[tennessoui]

The Force, intending to let Ahsoka work out her trauma and realize that war was always going to happen and Obi-Wan and Anakin were always going to be weird about each other and that she can stop neither of those (or many other!) things, instead watching as Ahsoka rapidly turns into It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia red string meme: ...I have made a huge mistake.

the force: guys don't worry guys it's ok guys, the force gives its hardest battles to its bravest little soldiers

the disaster lineage, lying broken and insane and soulless on the floor: please....find another....bravest little guy.....

[anakinskywalkerog]

EP. 5 RECAP

I had to rewatch this episode it was that important

spoilers under the cut that you’ve probably already seen somewhere lol

1. CHOPPER THE WORLD’S BEST BABYSITTER

2. ANAKIN’s SMILE. HAYDEN’s MOVE. I STILL CAN’T FORM WORDS.

3. I LOVE BABYSOKA. I think Ariana Greenblatt was the perfect choice for this role. I feel like this is actually the best anyone’s done with casting an animated role in live action, she looks like and embodies Ahsoka so well!!! THIS FUCKING SHOT (the cinematography and lighting in this episode is STUNNING, I am so so so glad they put so much work into this because this is the kind of Star Wars we deserve!! the cinematography in this matches the Eye of Aldhani episode of Andor)

4. as previously mentioned on my page, Hayden in Jedi armor 🤯☠️

5. Ashoka and Anakin, running through the battle:

AHSOKA: “What about my training?!”

ANAKIN: “This is your training!”

I see what you’re doing there, Filoni. I love how psychologically Filoni sees Star Wars in general, he’s always focused on trauma and healing, esp in Rebels.

6. I do kind of wish there could have been more emotional closure (within the dialogue esp) between Anakin and Ahsoka…but I’m wondering if we didn’t get closure because Hayden is going to come back in another episode (I hope so 🤭)

7. I didn’t realize Ahsoka didn’t have ears lol

8. So many purrgil!!’ they’re so beautiful!!! (why do I think the plural of purrgil is purrgil? what led me to believe this? is this canon lol)

ALSO I think the purrgil serve as a really significant metaphor of environmentalism. the imperial forces want to travel to another galaxy? they steal materials to build a giant disruptive machine to get them there. the rebel forces just have to connect with their environment (the purrgil) and rely on animals (nature) who are BUILT to travel to other galaxies (ie why are climate scientists trying to build machines instead of a tree!!! that sucks up carbon and purifies our air?)

I will stop rambling now 😂

but honorable mention to Force sensitive Jacen AND an actual Kanan mention? fuck me up

ALSO not them mentioning the disaster lineage with all of that legacy talk 😂 does anyone feel like they’re paying attention to us? (I’m joking, they’re definitely paying attention to us)

NOW I WILL STOP