#didn't he go missing under mysterious circumstances?

[waitineedaname]

i need to write jin ling's absolutely nightmarish parent-teacher meetings. his teachers dread them. you end up with one of his uncles (who have joint custody? for some reason? are they divorced? no one wants to ask) which means either you have to deal with one of them attempting to bribe you and/or hinting that he could ruin your career if jin ling is mistreated, or you get the other one alternating between yelling at his nephew and yelling at you. worst case scenario, you get both of them in the same meeting, which turns into a competition to see who can be the bitchiest and most sarcastic. any questions of why jin ling is Like That are immediately answered by meeting his uncles, though it does raise several other questions

[kawaiigirly21]

Our Little Soda Pop: Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry this one is so short, I just had to get it down before I went to bed

(What I feel like Gwi-Ma would like in a human like form)

Since that night, Natasha was promptly told by the group that she was no longer in control of them and they officially claimed her as their mate. With no room for objections. “Hey, can you make me a snack sugar lips?” Baby asked. “I'm busy Baby. Make it yourself. Your legs aren't broken.” Natasha mumbled as she typed away on her laptop and phone. Setting up a promo show for the group. A moment of silence then passed before Baby spoke again.

“Hey Tasha… You ever had backshots?” Looking up from her laptop, Natasha gave the man the most disgusted look she could muster. “What?” About an hour later, as the others entered the penthouse, they were greeted by the sight of Baby eating a bag of chips while fucking into Natasha from behind while she was bent over the counter. “Oh fuck! Baby! Baby! Yes!!” Abby chuckled as he stepped forward to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“So um… What'd we miss?” Baby grunted as he tightened his one handed grip on Natasha's hips. “Just administering some well needed punishment.” Jinu leaned down staring into Natasha's eyes and smiled softly. “Tried to mouth off huh?” Romance stood next to Baby and dragged a hand up and down Natasha's back. Feeling her soft skin while her tits rubbed against the counter with how hard Baby was fucking into her. “Oh fuck she feels so good. Love this pussy.”

Mystery however, stood on the side. Observing the situation and slowly reaching to grasp one of her hands gently. “Fuck I'm cumming!!” Baby groaned. “M-me too! Fuck! Mm!! Cum in me!! Please!!” After the pair reached their highs, before Natasha could even catch her breath, she was summoned to a place she never thought she would see again.

“Funny… You gave yourself to 5 demon boys you never met, but couldn't stand to be in the same room with your lawfully wedded husband for more than 10 minutes.” A figure spoke as it emerged from the magenta fire it oh so loved to reside in. “Gwi-Ma… what do you want?” She grimaced watching him take on his physical form. “To see my wife of course.” He smirked. “You have no right to call me that! You lost it the moment you decided to terrorize the humans. You weren't satisfied with the souls of animals. You just had to go after the humans. Your father never acted this way.”

“MY FATHER IS DEAD!!! AND IF YOU LOVED HIM SO MUCH, WHY DIDN'T YOU MARRY HIM!?” Gwi-Ma snapped. “I WOULD HAVE! IF YOU DIDN'T BEG ME NOT TO!” Natasha snapped back. Gwi-Ma's father was her first love and she was his only concubine. They shared a deep love that no demon thought was possible. But once Gwi-Ma reached adulthood, he became obsessed with her. Begging her not to marry his father when his mother passed away. He pleaded with her to become his wife.

He was deeply in love, and knowing that he would not get off her case until she did, she accepted. And not long after their engagement, Gwi-Ma’s father died under mysterious circumstances. Devastated and heartbroken, Natasha spent most of their marriage mourning a love that would never be. With a husband she never loved.

“Natasha… I still love you. Why don't you love me? Please love me…” Gwi-Ma begged on his knees. His face pressed against Natasha's bare thighs and lips close to her pussy. One of his hands dragged up her thighs to her bottom. “Please love me… even if it's just for tonight… Please Natasha..” Looking down at the so-called king of demons who was reduced to just a begging man before her. A man who begged for nothing but her love.

Sighing and running a manicured hand through his dark locks, Natasha looked down at Gwi-Ma. “Just for tonight… husband.”

Chapter 6

[comicaurora]

So based on that last ask with King Arthur is he choosing to fall in love with Gwen even if she has a high chance of falling for Lancealot? If so, it's tragic. Doomed to love another that won't fully love you back.

Does Arthur even just tell Lancenalot to get the hell put of the kingdom some loops?

I think it's more like-

You become aware of your existence somewhere around the age of 3. You were born under mysterious circumstances you don't know the details of. The first time through, you were growing up in a castle. Lately you find you are growing up among peasantry.

Maybe you have brothers. Maybe you have a sister. Maybe you're an only child. Your family is distant either way. They speak welsh. They speak latin. They speak french. They speak english with american attempts at british accents.

The first few times through, there wasn't a sword. Now it's a consistent presence - a shimmering blade stuck in a plain anvil or a large boulder, haunting your hometown or a nearby forest glade. It looks different every time, feels different in your hands. It was made for you.

There are more trials every time. In the first stories the crown was yours from birth. Lately it's been further and further away, behind more tribulations and tournaments and beasts to slay. More guidance from the ageless old man you remember from the earliest days, the welsh days. He's different every time. Everything's different every time. And still nothing changes.

The crown is yours. It's inevitable. And when the crown passes into your hands, it carries the kingdom with it. It's yours now. And it's going to thrive! You hardly need to do anything. Heroes flock to you and pledge themselves as knights, then spend the decades tearing off on wild quests and adventures, getting into the kind of trouble that serendipitously always keeps the kingdom safe. The adventures feel familiar, but never quite play out the same way. Chalices, black knights, fairy women, questing beasts. You rarely see them for yourself. You're too important, after all. You're the kingdom's beating heart.

You have a queen. You don't spend much time with her. It's jarring how much she changes every time. You hate how much it surprises you the times she genuinely loves you; you never really get to enjoy it. The kingdom doesn't run itself, even if just having you around seems to make the forests grow thick and the rivers run clear. Mostly you spend time with her when you're rescuing her from abduction. You very rarely have children together. You miss them.

It didn't used to end in fire, but lately it never ends in anything but, and you never know when it's going to start. You're never home when it starts, but you spend so much time out tending the kingdom or questing anyway. But you always learn too late - treachery. Your knight, your vassal, your bastard child, your lady love. Camelot is burning. You watch your life's work precede you into the grave.

You die. You sleep under the mountain. You dream. It's quiet.

Somewhere in the world, a writer picks up a pen, and you become aware of existence somewhere around the age of 3.

[pinkdaiisies]

Dale Cooper x reader

Summary: A certain fbi agent knows just how to break you out of your shell... for some odd un-explainable reason.

Based off of this request

Notes: sorrrrryyyyy for the wait!!

Word Count: 1.5k

Lucy was currently thoroughly explaining to Sheriff Truman which line to pick up through the phone. Her desk faced the guest window, while yours faced the opposite wall behind her. You didn't mind not having to greet whoever walked in. It's the main reason why you loved your job. Being able to complete paperwork in solitude, while having the occasional gossip session with Lucy was the dream. Everyone who worked at the station knew you weren't the talkative type, hell, everyone in Twin Peaks knew that.

After Lucy hung up the phone, she swiveled her chair towards you. Every deputy awaited the arrival of some FBI agent that was due to show up any hour. The past day and a half, Twin Peaks had an eerie feel to it. The loss of Laura Palmer shaking everyone up, including you.

"Gee I wonder when the FBI agent is showing up!" Lucy said. "I've gotten five calls the last 2 hours asking for updates on the case." Lucy said while spinning in her chair. "Hows your paperwork going?"

"It's going." You said. A drunken man had hit a deer on one of the highways and he claimed that it was the station's fault for not having deer crossing signs. You were finishing up some of his court statement logs. "You'd think a man living in Twin Peaks his whole life would know that deer live in the woods." Lucy giggled at your words before getting distracted by Deputy Brennan at the coffee machine. She stood up from her seat and joined him, making you the only one behind the desk.

You were still turned away from the window when you heard the lobby door open. You prayed it was just another deputy coming back from being on duty. Unfortunately you heard someone trying to get your attention.

"Excuse me, miss?" You had no choice but to spin your chair around to the mystery person.

You could tell right away from the look of the man that this was the FBI agent. The fancy suit and the FBI pin near his collar gave it away. Another thing you took notice of right away was the man's sheer beauty. You weren't the type to make your feelings of attraction a topic of discussion, but you would definitely have to gossip with Lucy about this later.

"Hi sorry." You spoke back quietly.

"Lucy is it?" The man questioned while looking at Lucy's name placard on the desk.

"No, Lucy stepped out for a moment. I'm y/n l/n." You said while pointing to your name tag back on your own desk, which was barley visible due to the overflow of paper work.

"It's lovely to meet you y/n." Dale said with a smirk on his face. "Its sad we have to meet under these unfortunate circumstance. I'm Special Agent Dale Cooper." The smirk on his face nearly made you forget the case at hand. His flirtatious smile yet professional demeanor wasn't something you were used to, having lived in Twin Peaks your whole life. Although you've only known him for literal seconds, you were sure he was different from anyone you've ever met.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you too Agent Cooper." You said with a smile that was probably a little too big for the moment. "Our Sheriff is down the hall in the door on your right. We also have donuts and coffee in the break room so feel free to grab as much as you'd like! If we run out just call me and I can probably go out to the Double R diner to grab some more, it's really no problem. Twin Peaks is really happy to have you-"

"Y/n! Mr. FBI agent probably has to go, you don't want to hold him for too long." Lucy saved you from your rambling. You've never once rambled before in your life. You probably spoke more in those few sentences then you have all week!

"It's really no problem. Thank you y/n." Then Dale left your vision as he turned the corner to make his way to the Sheriff.

"I love you y/n but I don't think I've ever heard you speak so much at once!" Lucy exclaimed. It was true, you didn't know what had gotten into you. Sure, Dale Cooper was a good looking man, but you have never once let a man change your very own speaking tendencies!

"Ugh!" You groaned in response, knowing you had just embarrassed yourself. You swiveled your chair back to your desk and buried your face into your hands.

-

Dale Cooper had been in Twin Peaks for four days now. The only updates you got on the Laura Palmer case were the details that Deputy Brennan accidentally let slip to Lucy, and it didn't seem like they were getting far.

You were able to keep your blabbering to a minimum around Dale Copper for the most part. Although when Dale walked in every morning he would make a point to catch your attention to tell you good morning. So obviously you had no choice but to awkwardly spin your chair around as fast as lighting, occasionally knocking down some papers in the process, and say good morning along with some meaningless comment about the weather or the status of the coffee in the break room.

Despite your awkwardness, Dale Cooper always agreed with you, or thanked you, and walked to the Sheriff's room with a smile on his face. Always leaving Lucy giggling to herself. You spilled to her that you thought the agent was handsome on the second day of his arrival. Sometimes she would call him over to the reception desk just to ask him some meaningless question that involved you somehow. You were left speechless every time, but Dale always answered back in a serious and thoughtful way.

Starting the paper work for poor Laura's case was the most difficult paperwork you've ever filled out. Her murder hit a lot harder than all of the other cases that were brought to your desk. Which is why you needed to get your second cup of coffee of the day. You made your way to the break room and poured yourself a cup, while looking at the donut options.

Footsteps approached as you stirred your coffee and you soon realized that agent Cooper was walking towards you. Your heartbeat sped up tremendously.

"Hello y/n!" Dale said.

"Hi Agent Cooper! How are you?" Although you started speaking before he could answer, "I expect not too well because I heard you and the deputies stayed out late last night looking for evidence. I can only imagine how stressful that may be." You silently cursed yourself for rambling on once again, but Dale didn't seem to mind.

"I'm doing as well as I can. Although a cup of coffee will definitely make my day better!" Dale answered back. To help the agent, you reached for a cup but failed to realize Cooper was reaching at the same time. Both of your guys hands brushed and you pulled away anxiously, a blush staining your cheeks. You muttered a sorry, and Dale said that it was no problem.

"Well, how are you doing?" Dale asked back while beginning to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh me? I'm doing okay I guess, can't really complain, I'm not the one trying to solve a murder right now." You giggled awkwardly. Now is definitely not the time to be laughing?! You thought to yourself. "I'm sorry that was dumb. I totally respect your line of work, I'm just not used to talking to a lot of new people..." Your sentence got quieter as you spoke. "I've lived here my whole life so everyone knows everyone."

"Don't apologize," Dale started. "So I'm assuming you've eaten at the Double R Diner before then?" Dale asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Of course I have! Their food is really good and the owner is just the sweetest person you'll ever meet!" You said, finally a normal sentence coming out of you.

"Well maybe you'd like to accompany me to get coffee over there tomorrow around this time?" Out of all of the things you expected Agent Cooper to say, him asking you on a date was very low on the list.

"Yes- I mean, I'd love to! I didn't think that you would- well, I never expected you to..." You cut yourself short, realizing another century long ramble was near. "Yes Agent Cooper." You finished with a huge smile on your face.

"Great! I should probably get going, Harry was expecting me in his office." He smiled and left you standing there with excitement.

Dale walked into the room that the Sheriff was in.

"Your receptionist sure is quite talkative Harry." Dale said.

"Yes, Lucy does tend to be that way." Sheriff Truman said while organizing some evidence on the table.

"No, I meant y/n." Dale said with a skeptical look on his face.

"Are you sure you don't have them mixed up?" Harry questioned.

"Well I just asked y/n on a date tomorrow so I sure hope I don't!"

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Missed mer may the last few days, due to Socializing, so here's one for today.

Since the actual lake was a no go, the creepy blood lake would have to do. At least until Six finally scared off Rico or agreed to chaperone a trip.

Stan sat on the stone shore, grimacing at rough incline into the red water and contemplating if it was worth trying to Break it into sand, or to see if he could try using the Water rune to fix the color. Make it something less ominous than red.

Maybe pink.

The boys were floating face first a little ways out, groaning about the lack of fish and plants to examine, while Six was lounging with his body in the water and his head sitting on the shore next to Stan.

Bill was also there, floating on some kind of rubbery circle and holding a wine glass. It was full of water, but apparently 'fit the mood' or whatever the demon said.

Stan wrote the Water rune over the lake, trying to think clear thoughts. The rune glowed for a moment, then wobbled and collapsed. Stan huffed then kicked the water and grimaced at his red tinted legs.

"How do I stop this thing from looking so creepy!" Stan yelled out at Bill, "I feel like I'm gonna get cursed if I go out there!"

"Relax," Bill said back, tiny legs crossed and one arm behind him, 'I told you, didn't I? The curse faded centuries ago. You'll be fine. Try to pretend your bathing in baby blood to steal their youth or something."

"I don't think I can explain how much I don't want to do that."

"Besides, its not the water," Bill said, ignoring him, "it's those handy mood lighting rocks I stuck at the bottom. This thing was too dark, looked too mysterious and clashed with the piles of treasure. Messed up the atmosphere."

"So what," Stan said, leaning forward to look at the red rocks at the bottom, "you wanted blood stained gold and not creepy haunted gold?"

"Listen kid," Bill said, swirling his glass, "no one wants to party with depressing ghosts. But a lake of blood? That's where it's at."

"A cursed lake of blood."

"Ha! Yeah."

Bill didn't elaborate, making Stan scowl harder. Six huffed, then used its tail to smack at Bills floating circle and send him flying. The demon screeched as he was launched towards the waterfall, and the kids flipped over to watch him go.

"Yesh" Stan said, when Bill slammed into the water a good distance away, "that's gotta hurt. Anyway, rocks huh?"

He could see what Bill was talking about, the water clear enough to see the large jagged crystals lining the bottom like teeth. It added to the overall cursed look, making him want to swim in it even less.

"Is there a way to change the color?" Stan muttered, "wish I could take a closer look."

"Knock yourself out." Bill said next to him with a snap of his fingers. Stan whipped around, mouth open and ready to object whatever nonsense Bill was about to do with Stan's offhand comment, when a flash of light blinded him, and he wheezed. He couldn't breath, couldn't pump air into his lungs, couldn't do anything but flail.

Something smacked into him, and he splashed into the water. He inhaled, expecting to start drowning, then got confused when his chest stopped burning.

"Wha-" Stan started to say, then screamed as one of Sixs claws swiped at him. The dragon curled its talons around him, then pulled him up towards the surface.

Which wasn't very far, but seeing a dragons claw through red tinted water was terrifying under any circumstances. Stan sputtered as his head came up, then stared at his legs in confusion when they didn't kick properly.

The giant golden fish tail awnsered any further questions.

"Bill!" Stan shouted while Six started poking at the tail and cooing at it, "Bill! What is this!"

"You wanted a closer look!" Bill said, now on his shoulder and poking at his wet hair, "well now you can! For three hours my now literal Gold Fish!"

"Three hours!" Stan and the boys shouted. Stan jumped at the tiny hands poking at all of his extra additions, wiggling the tail from how weird it felt. Tate and Shifty had swam over, and their grinning faces oohed and aahed over the giant tail and Stan's arms when Six opened its claw so Stan wasn't gripped so tightly.

"This is so cool Uncle Stanley!" Shifty said, crawling up to tug on something sticking to Stan's head, "you should come swimming with us!"

"Oh- I don't know," Stan said awkwardly, grabbing Bill and chucking him into the water and trying to avoid eye contact, "I'm not-"

"Pleeeeeease!" Tate and Shifty crawled onto his lap to grab his shirt, then looked up at him with their hair hanging down their faces. It made it impossible to make out anything other than their pouty lips.

"Ugghhh." Stan leaned away, then sighed. He had no idea how a giant fish tail was going to affect his ability to swim, but the idea of breaking his nephews hearts wasn't as satisfying as doing it to other, not dubiously related children. He was stuck here for the three hours, might as well make a fool of himself before boredom hit and he did it anyway.

Plus Six was giving him a disapproving look and starting to curl its talons, and Stan wasn't about to let the giant lizard hold him and pet his fish tail the whole time.

"Fine."

The kids cheered, then tackled him so he flipped backwards over Sixs claw and back into the water. Stan sputtered, and their tiny hands grabbed his arms and pulled him deeper into the water and further from Sixs swiping claws as the dragon tried to grab him again. It poked his head down and squinted at them, the let loose a bunch of bubbles when Stan stuck his tongue out.

They had to keep dragging him for a while, until he figured out how to move his tail and swim fast enough to outrun the dragon swimming after them. The lake wasn't so deep it couldn't reach the bottom holding it's breath, so they had to swim from one end of the lake to the other, then really quickly mess with the rocks before Six caught up.

The Light rune worked in changing the color, so now all Stan had to do was figure out how to make it stick so it wasn't so ominous looking all the time. The first few attempts faded when he stopped giving it his warmth, but through trial and error he figured out how to shove his new light rune into the one already there, like telling it to change it up instead of trying to replace it entirely.

Then he had the boys pick which colors to make each rock, starting out with various shades of blue and green until Shifty burst out with orange and they started making the whole thing a giant rainbow mess.

Stan grinned at the boys, chest warm in a non magic way as they laughed at Bill pointing down at them from the surface angrily and gave out more and more suggestions.

"Ooh!" Tate said suddenly, when they were sitting near another patch of red with Six tiredly kicking after them, "can you do patterns Uncle Stanley? Try polka dots."

"Kid," Stan said, placing his webbed hand on his tiny scaled shoulder, "that's the best idea I've ever heard. Let's make this entire lake an eye sore for a completely new reason."

Stan grinned as he bent down and gave one of the red rocks glowing golden polka dots. Then the next one green and yellow stripes at Shiftys request. They managed to get a few more combinations, with zero thought into colors or what looked good next to each other, when Stan was blinded by a flash of light and suddenly drowning.

He flailed in the water, trying to kick up and not breath at the same time. Tiny hands grabbed his arms and a moment late he was coughing and hacking his lungs out, Six roaring at him from nearby. Stan coughed some more. Then squinted at the dragon as it furiously swam towards him.

"Sorry Uncle Stanley." One of the boys said, still holding his arms, "we weren't paying attention to the time."

"Not your fault kid," Stan rasped, reaching out to grab Sixs snout when it got closer, "I wasn't paying attention either, and it wasn't like any of us had a time piece down here."

Six grumbled, then picked Stan up and moved him so he was on top of the dragons head, between its horns. Tate and Shifty clambered up after, and they laid together as Six swam them back to shore.

Stan groaned when they got there, flopping over to stare at the multi colored haphazardly designed lake.

"Man," Stan said, body starting to ache from all the swimming and warmth he'd used up the last three hours, "it looks hideous."

And it did. There were still patches of red, then other random groups of blues and greens, multicolored groups, and a whole streak of patterned rocks going in a curve off to the side. None of it blended well together, some of the lights were brighter than others with no pattern he could see, and the waterfall in the distance was mostly red but somehow had a a line of teal going through it on the left that cut diagonally across it.

Six grumbled, then snorted as Bill reappear looking frazzled and outraged at the same time.

"Fix it!" He yelled hands hovering over Stan's face, "I had a whole mood set up here, and I'm not going to be one of those parents who frame their kids wall scribbles!"

"No can do, demon who is not my dad," Stan said with a groan, "I'm not moving from here until I can feel my legs, and I refuse to fix our master piece."

"Yeah, it looks great!" Tate said, flopping over to rest his head on Stan's shoulder, Shifty mirroring him on the other side, "way better than before."

"Hey, do you think we can move the rocks next time?" Shifty asked, "maybe we cam build an underwater castle."

"No." Bill seethed, glaring at them. Stan hummed, then nodded at the boys while Bill screeched. Six put an end to it with a flick of a talon, and they watched him soar into the distance.

It wasn't a lake under the sun, but at least it looked less cursed for horror reasons and more for how much it physically hurt to look at.

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2024 - Follower Recs

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2024

For our Rewind 2024, our dear followers were also able to submit Follower Recs of their favourite stories published in 2024 for you to enjoy! Thank you to everyone who shared their recs and make sure to give the authors some love!

~*~

Hey! Im submitting for the rewind 2024! Nominating because its the perfect mix of hilarious and heart-wrenching, theres sword lore AND blue haired Lan Wangji! Plus @hellinglaozu art! @mdzsrewind

🔒 Help!!! I’m a Broke College Student How Did I End Up With a (Hot) Amnesiac Sword Spirit For a Sugar Baby??!??

by spookykingdomstarlight

M, 43k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Ying is a normal first-year college student. He lives with his parents. He gets good grades. He has friends. Or a friend, at least. Everything is going well, at least until a stunning man in hanfu with white hair manifests right in front of his eyes on a field trip. Suddenly he’s stuck introducing a sword spirit to the modern world, dealing with a mystery involving metal shards appearing all over Jiangsu province, and grappling with the possibility that Siri from his old phone might be sentient. What’s a normal first-year college student supposed to do under these circumstances? He dives right in, of course. A collaboration with the amazing HellingLaozu!

~*~

This story is modern, sexy missing WWX times and proactive LWJ doing what he can to cope (robot). @petirrojo57

Starry Sky

by auberjing (@wrecklwj) & lamusadelils

E, 8k, Wangxian

Summary: In the absence of Wei Ying, Lan Zhan deals with his grief by trying to replicate him. It's not the same, but the replica brings him some comfort. And maybe more.

~*~

Just pick any Scrippio work, really, but modern actor WWX works! @petirrojo57

Falling for You

by Scrippio

T, 8k, Wangxian

Summary: In which Lan Zhan's new stunt double decides that they're BFFs...and Lan Zhan finds that he agrees. Or: Five movies Lan Zhan makes with Wei Ying and One he makes alone.

~*~

I'm sure many other people have recommended this story for the Rewind 2024 event but I'll throw my vote in too for this incredibly well-written, amazing take on how things could've gone if Lotus Pier didn't fall and Wei Ying realized he loved Lan Zhan earlier. It features genius Wei Ying, supportive Lan Qiren, learning-to-be-less-naive Lan Xichen, and lazy but talented Nie Huaisang. The world-building is gorgeous and the storytelling phenomenal. @doctorbunsenhoneydew

Dispersing Clouds

by dreamingofcake

E, 283k, Wangxian

Summary: While the Wen Clan is embroiled in subduing internal conflicts within Qishan, the Jiang Clan hosts the annual discussion conference. It has been one year since the disastrous archery competition where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji last met but Wei Wuxian remains as optimistic as ever. An unlikely friendship begins to blossom and without the looming spectres of conquest and war to strengthen his ties to the Jiang family, the trajectory of Wei Wuxian’s life changes.

~*~

A Qin Sue fic! I enjoyed this where she survives and lives in Lotus Pier. - Anon

now you’re tearing through the pages and the ink

by Stratisphyre

M, 70k, Jiang Cheng/Qin Su & Wangxian

Summary: “I can’t stay here. Please don’t make me!” The words dragged themselves out of Qin Su's chest, feral and half-bloodied by her grief and fear. “A-Cheng is leaving tomorrow,” Jiang Yanli said. “You could go with him.” Or, Qin Su in Lotus Pier.

~*~

This story is a fairly recent WIP. No first siege of bm, yilingwei sect, wei yuan, wwx takes in a bunch of street kids as disciples, some guidao cultivation world building, jzx and jyl live, wwx semi isolates in bm for 13yrs and founds a sect, sect politics - Anon

Our Beautiful Homes

by Randomness_is_my_order

M, WIP, 21k, Wangxian

Summary: I, Jin Guangyao, a senior disciple of the Lanling Jin Clan write to you regarding a matter of grave importance. Kindly pardon the abrupt correspondence but I hope the situation will warrant such measures and the offence incurred will be minimal.  Wei Wuxian’s day had really become so interesting, hadn’t it? The Lianfang-zun writing to him–this lowly practitioner of the heretic path? My, my, his life was always filled with surprises, wasn’t it?  Sometimes, it takes a hundred sacrifices and a dozen heroes to change fate. Other times, it takes a rock and a sentient corpse tripping on it mid-fight to avoid a lifetime of tragedies and send destiny into a tailspin. In which Wen Ning misses his attack, Jin Zixuan lives and Wei Wuxian builds a sect for all those who don’t have a home. It is only thirteen years later that the cultivation world bothers to acknowledge him and his people, and only when they’re desperate for a favour. Never let it be said that Wei Wuxian would allow himself to be used.

~*~

Really awesome fic for what if LWJ became sect leader after the Wen attack on Cloud Recesses. There are some really good wangxian moments and I really like how the fic showcases sect administration and how the sect works now with LWJ as the leader. - Anon

🔒 The Straightest Path

by meyari

T, 30k, Wangxian, Nielan, JYL/NMJ, Sangcheng

Summary: The moment of Xiongzhang’s death would live forever in Lan Zhan’s mind. He’d turned towards Lan Zhan, qiankun pouch holding the library in his hands. Then he’d gasped as arrows flew towards them both in a hail no one could survive.

~*~

I would like to rec this story. It is currently a WIP started this year and every update is amazing. There’s so many details and I love that Wangxian are dragons and that WWX gets all the love and support and he fights really well too. - Anon

With This Shadowed Blade

by Anonymous

M, 145k, WIP, Wangxixian, Nielan, Wangxian, Sangxian, Mingxian, Nielanxian, Wangsang, Xixian

Summary: Wei Ying needs to find his soulmates before the madness turns him into a horrific monster. There's just the slight problem of Madam Yu shipping him off to the stuffy Lans in a contract bonding. Oh, and she didn't tell them he's on the verge of losing it. So they just think that he's, well, there must be something wrong with him after all...

~*~

I would like to recommend this story, because it is so unique and vividly written, one of the best fics I have ever read. @aerouinde

🔒💙 Building it back, stone by stone and seal by seal

by KizuKatana (@kizukatana)

M, 134k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: It had been over 200 years since the war between cultivators left more than half the land ravaged and uninhabitable and the practice of cultivation punishable by death. Despite the risks of being caught as a practicing cultivator, Wei Wuxian took on the hunt of a dangerous yao that had destroyed a small village and killed all of the civilians. While searching for the demon, he encountered a mysterious cultivator dressed all in white. Wei Wuxian was excited to finally meet another cultivator, but instead of greeting him or making pretty much any conversation at all, the man attacked Wei Wuxian on sight. - - - - - - There is NO WAR in this fic. This takes place two centuries after the war happened, and it has a sort of post apocalyptic vibe. This is a story of rebuilding and finding safety. It's about found family and forming a new society away from the old one that persecuted them.

~*~

I want to recommend this story, because it was a very unique story with so much atmosphere, the settings were wonderful, and it was well paced. @aerouinde

grimoire

by WithLoweredVoices

M, 95k, Wangxian

Summary: ‘Alright, fine,’ huffs Wei Ying, blowing out his cheeks. He adjusts his grip on the smooth hilt of the sword, as cold as wet stone beneath his palm. ‘How do I give this back to you?’ ‘I must trade with you something of equal worth,’ says the strange man. ‘Uh. Okay.’ Wei Ying rubs his forehead with his free hand. ‘How about your name? Your real name.’ In case he needs to file a police report or stalk this beautiful, scary man on google or something. The man looks even more angry. He pulls his shoulders back and draws himself to his full height, which is rather impressive and forces Wei Ying to tip his chin up slightly. ‘My name is Lan Zhan,’ the man says. ~ (The one where it’s a dark academia AU - only it’s not.)

~*~

I want to recommend this story, because it was an immensely exciting story, one of the best Kaiju/Archon stories I have read. @aerouinde

Axiom –A Mo Dao Zu Shi Mecha AU

by Hinu (@imnotacleverman)

E, 331k, Wangxian

Summary: “I’ve always known it’s my destiny to be coupled with a cute girl and fall in love in the archon!” Wuxian winked at the nearest girl, who just so happened to be Mianmian, the prettiest girl in their class. Lan Wangji’s eye-roll was loud. “What?” Wuxian had noticed the boy’s reaction. “You never striked me as a romantic, Lan Wangji, but you know studies have shown that a notable percent of alters end up married, right?” “Oi!” Someone exclaimed. Everyone shot their eyes back on the screens, onto which text had appeared: Their coupling results. Everyone was too busy looking up their own name on the list to pay attention to the fact that the stickler-to-the-rules nephew of major general Lan Qiren had been coupled with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji had been coupled with Wei Wuxian! *** In a world threatened by monsters, giant robots known as archons are piloted by "alters", a neuropsychologically coupled pair, to protect humanity. As Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji begin their piloting career as unlikely alters, they have to contend not only with the fame and idolization that comes with being a pilot, but also the conflicts that rise from within as their psyches are connected within the archon.

~*~

I want to recommend this story, it was a very exciting, clever and well paced story. @aerouinde

Chronicles of Sect Leader Wei Wuxian

by Muggle_Diary (@kshithi-and-stories)

E, 114k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian is ten years old when he joins the Jiang sect. Fed up with his treatment at Yunmeng Jiang, Wei Wuxian leaves the Jiang sect. Wei Wuxian is ambitious and wants to open a sect based on merits alone. Years later he stands at the top of cultivation world.

~*~

I want to recommend this story, because it is one of the best ballet fics I have read, loved it. @aerouinde

Ugly Duckling

by Witch_Nova221 (@witchnova221)

T, 57k, Wangxian

Part of the MDZS Big Bang 2024

Summary: When talented but untrained ballet dancer, Wei Ying, is offered a scholarship by Lan Huan at the prestigious Gusu Ballet Academy he knows he will have to work hard to prove himself especially to his stern teacher, Lan Qiren. At a school that values tradition, Wei Ying struggles to find his place, constantly criticised and compared to his talented classmate, Lan Zhan. Whilst negotiating the trials of training under Lan Qiren, Wei Ying struggles to remember why he loves to dance until costumier, Nie Huaisang, gifts him a very special pair of shoes that open up a whole new world of ballet.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[glitter-stained]

She doesn't take so well to grief.

Neither does anyone, she thinks. Her mom smiles and plays with the alliance she wears around her neck and tells her time heals all wounds, doesn't erase the pain but makes it bearable, like an old ache in a twisted ankle that never healed quite right. It's been years, and despite her grandma's insistence, her mom refuses to try dating again. She sobs in her bedroom when she thinks Rena is asleep.

Liars, the lot of them.

Rena's dad dies when she's eight in a car accident driving home from work. Her mother hugs her tight and cries into her hair, and her grandmother holds her hand through the whole funeral, and Rena feels a little like she's having a bad dream; not a nightmare, just a very sad one where all the colours are faded. Absurdly, the first thing she thinks is that he'll never take her to the diner on Saturday nights after dance class again, and then she hates herself a little for being sad about this, rather than the fact he is dead. That remorse goes away with time. Grief, she thinks, is a lot of sadness for the joy we thought we'd have, and the memories of things we'll never get again. There's also anger, sometimes, not always. Her dad gets his neck snapped in a car accident because he was driving too fast and some asshole didn't put on his blinkers. That's not fair. It was dumb and cruel and totally preventable, if only one of the two had just been a little more responsible about driving their car. She's angry at her dad, and at the idiot who took him away from her. She stops going to dance class in retaliation.

Rena's grandmother dies when she's twelve, and she's surprised to find she isn't angry. It feels fair, in a sense; her grandma was eighty, and she smoked like a pirate with something to prove (or how she imagines that a pirate would smoke.) She doesn't know what to do with herself in the absence of anger, so she uses all her savings to buy some green wool and a knitting kit. She doesn't really take to it, it's not fun, but her grandma had been in the process of knitting her a scarf before her heart stopped in her sleep. She knits herself a green scarf. It's not too cool, nor too stylish, she doesn't wear it to school or to hang out with her friends. It stays hung on her door, and she hugs it tight when she's sad, when she misses her grandma and her dad, and cries into it because her mother is a liar and the grief doesn't get easier and she doesn't even like knitting anyway. Jason thinks the scarf is pretty, but Jason would think anything is pretty if he knew she'd done it, because he's sweet like that. He says she looks good in green; but again, Jason always seems to think she looks good. She starts wearing green eyeshadow anyway.

Her cute, nerdy, dorky highschool boyfriend dies in an explosion in Ethiopia at fifteen years old under mysterious circumstances. They'll never get to pass notes with little hearts in algebra class or share a milkshake with two straws while he gets whipped cream on the top of his nose or watch a disappointing romantic movie at the theatre while holding hands the whole time again. It takes her a year to find the place he's buried, far from the family plot of the people who adopted him, under a gloomy angel statue. She learns it's custom practice to put angels over children's grave. It looks like a guardian, warding the tomb, protecting him. But he needed a guardian angel when he was alive, not now that she'll never see him smile again, stand on his toes to kiss her on the lips, put her favourite song in the jukebox at the diner. That's not fair. They shouldn't have touched him, shouldn't have hurt him and taken him from her and she'll never know what happened and they dumped his body out like an old worn-down shoe under a heap of dirt. Jason is dead.

There's the anger.

[lightningant]

Love love your ronmort essay, couldn't agree more ! Do you have any head cannons about them you want to dissert about cause I'm all ears !!

Some quick ideas to texture the Borgin Tom AU:

-Tom initially looks down on him and is paternalistic and sees him a little like a pet (obviously) but he is so self-assured that he hasn't come to terms with the fact Ron is his special little princess.

-Tom avoids testing his loyalty for a long while, because it requires actually interrogating how important that loyalty is to him. He does constantly test his affection though. Always keep them on their toes.

-When the loyalty test does come he just takes it as a given Ron will be loyal not because he genuinely believes it but because the crashout would be legendary if he didn't and he refuses to entertain the possibility the next year of his life would be dedicated to malding over the kind of guy you'd pass at a grocery store. Luckily Ron is a true ride or die👍

-After learning Tom is a crime lord Ron is actually pretty proactive in organizing any potential conflicts so they don't come to blows. He is doing this out of moral opposition but it does have the knock-on effect of making Tom calm down.

-Tom teaches him parseltongue and Ron ends up semi-fluent. He loves to talk to Ron in parseltongue to fuck with people

-Tom loves it when Ron turns down potential paramours, it puts him in a good mood for the rest of the day. He enjoys hamming up how they don't stand a chance because their romantic rival is ~Lord Voldemort~. He wants to do a Betty and Veronica routine with someone so bad but he can't because if his rival actually stood a chance they would go missing under mysterious circumstances

-For a really long time Ron avoids telling Harry and Hermione that he is some bizarrely well-connected older shopkeeper's Kept Man. Because Harry would think it was weird because they stalked him as children and Hermione would think it was weird AND wrong because they stalked him as children. And Harry would suggest stalking again

-When they do meet, Tom immediately focuses on antagonizing Harry as much as possible. Surviving baby murder has attracted all the aggro Hermione would have absorbed from being the one who got away. Tom thinks it is SO absurdly funny, he loves that he's made an urban legend out of an infant because he didn't like being forced to change diapers. Like naturally only he could do this.

-The Death Eaters are all bothered by Ron. It was okay when Abraxas was the favourite because he's a rich pureblood patriarch of good breeding. Who the fuck is that. ??????

-Having a man in his house to dote on him after a long day has done never-before-seen things to Tom's mental health.

-Ron was really excited to introduce him to his family up until Tom decided to play up his bootstraps backstory and his mom fell over herself to welcome him and Percy fell over himself to look impressive to someone so notoriously well-connected and he earned Fred & George's respect effortlessly and they're all going "how did you pull THAT" while this is happening. He spends an entire month in some level of sulk until they finally have a screaming argument and Tom freezes him out for the longest time they've ever been apart before finally deciding to lure him back with gifts. When Ron doesn't like them he takes it extremely personally but the fact this made him so unbelievably angry does give Ron a clue on Tom's values and he (with help from friends) is the one to reconcile with warm and supportive communication and a shiny object.

[aziraphales-library]

I didn't know the fandom had librarians! This is amazing!

I read Factory Settings recently and I'd like to find more fanfics that deal in multiple realities, split realities or time travel / time loops etc. Do you know of any?

Hi! We actually have tags for these, so do check out the fics we've already recommended here: #multiverse, #alternate universe, #time travel, and #time loop. Here are more to add to the collections...

A Moment Suspended in Sea Spray by cassieoh (T)

Green filled his vision in the brief second before he instinctively tucked his head away in his coils. Crawly didn’t think there had ever been anything green and growing in Hell save perhaps a good mold behind Hastur’s knees. Cautiously, he inched the very tip of his nose out of his coils and flicked his tongue. Growing things. Soil. Apples. The oil left behind by human hands. Something strange and sharp smelling. Under it all, a smell he knew but couldn’t place. This wasn’t Hell.

Limitless by SmokingMirrorChaos, Yvesriba (T)

Crowley has never known a world with Aziraphale. Where he's from, his counterpart was the angel Anathema. 6000 years of friendship eventually lead to them traveling between worlds until they discover one where there has never been a Crowley. But, there is an Aziraphale. They met and fall in love and with Aziraphale, Crowley finds the happiness he's always sought. A tale told in Crowley's stories to Aziraphale and flashbacks.

creatures of circumstance by attheborder (M)

Anthony J. Crowley, Jr. is the prodigal son of CrowleyCorp, the UK’s most powerful, dangerous, and controversial technology company. A one-night stand with a mysterious man who calls himself Aziraphale tips his hopeless life upside-down into a dangerous obsession. And somewhere else entirely, a girl-shaped creature is presiding over the back room of a bookshop in Soho, where an angel and a demon lay unconscious on the floor…

Endless Night by AppleSeeds (T)

Spending Halloween in an old cottage with his housemates, university student Crowley finds himself trapped in a time loop that repeats every four hours, with only the spirit of Anathema's dead witchy ancestor to help guide him. Agnes believes the time loop has been triggered by Crowley's own thoughts, and that the only way to break it is to ensure that Aziraphale, who Crowley is completely infatuated with, actually enjoys himself. Despite how flustered he gets every time he even looks at Aziraphale, Crowley does everything he can to try to make that happen. But no matter what he tries, things keep going wrong.

World Enough And Time by Stephquiem (T)

For Aziraphale, there were always two Crowleys: the First Crowley, the one he met in the Garden, the one he's spent 6000 years meeting across human history. And there is the Second Crowley, the one who comes to him across time, again and again, propelled, it would seem, by some unknown tragedy. Both, his hereditary enemy. His dearest friend. For Crowley, there is a Before, and there is an After. Before, he spent 6000 years as Hell's agent on Earth, seeing Aziraphale occasionally, working together where they could get away with it. After... After, he's drawn back over and over, like he's attached by a tether that just won't let him go. Not that he wants it to let him go. The alternative...

Smoke and Mirrors by cyankelpie (T)

“If we want the truth from him, he needs to feel safe enough to speak truthfully,” said Gabriel. “Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘The traitor couldn’t possibly feel safe while he’s in Heaven for interrogation!’ And you’d be right.” His grin widened. “But—this is where it gets really good—he won’t even know that’s where he is.” (Aziraphale is imprisoned in Heaven, but breaks free thanks to Crowley’s help. On Earth, Crowley wakes up from his pandemic nap to find Aziraphale missing. Meanwhile, two angels watch an imaginary life unfold, with all the time in the world to wait for the answers they need.) And the sequel, dealing with the aftermath: Reality Check

- Mod D

[galaxyfoxes]

Know this that I am laughing as I write this. Platonic yandere besties Jinshi x reader. Reader is older than him she love to watch him suffer with his own feelings on maomao teasing him and totally not giving him fake advice half the time while the other time actually giving him good advice of the female perspective while sipping of her tea and eating the snacks. While also not realizing how much of a platonic yandere he is for her.

This is hilarious! Thank you for requesting this!

Tw: clingy behavior, mentions of guilt tripping, typical yandere behavior

A/n: I've only watched the anime btw

You and Jinshi have been friends for years, and he tells you practically everything that happens within the inner palace, especially the drama between the Consorts. However, something interesting was being brought up, a certain apothecary girl named maomao.

While you knew he charmed many people, he never got attached to any of them, so you were supportive of him finding someone. Especially if they make him flustered.

However, you also secretly hoped it'll get him off your back for a little while since he has the tendency to be very clingy towards you.

In the past, whenever you voiced your concern about him being too clingy. You were met with immediate guilt tripping or him conveniently 'forgetting' the conversation. And since he is much higher ranked than you, it's not like you can really say no to him.

While you can see some of his more light yandere tendencies, most of them are completely hidden from you as he greatly values how you see him. And you usually write the clingy behavior off as him being weird.

He feels extreme jealousy whenever you talk about other people too much. ESPECIALLY if you consider them a friend. You rarely tell him about these people as they are always fired or gone missing under 'mysterious' circumstances.

For a little while, he was too busy spending time with maomao to visit you. While you missed him, it was nice to have a break for once, even if it's short-lived.

After a particularly long time apart, Jinshi insisted you two have tea as he wanted to ask for advice on something. He wanted to know what he could do to win over maomao.

You were confused as women would kill to have a chance with him and that he wouldn't have to try. but you gave some basic advice on how common people flirt and Jinshi listened diligently. After you were you were done giving advice, Jinshi would go back to talking about other topics with you.

you hoestly expected that he'll leave you alone and focus on maomao. But to your surprise, he quickly goes back to his old behavior.

Eventually, he brings maomao to one of your meetups, and you could tell she wasn't an ordinary girl or all that interested in Jinshi. This gave you an idea to play with Jinshi a little.

You started to give him odd ideas on how to get maomao to like him when they obviously wouldn't. One idea was that Jinshi could give maomao a necklace that had a rather odd pendant, and that would get her to like him.

At first, you thought Jinshi wouldn't listen to you because your ideas sounded rather stupid. But to your surprise, Jinshi listened to every one of them though he did pout and whined to you when they obviously didn't work.

The thing is, you always mixed in good advice with the idiotic advice so Jinshi wouldn't fully dismiss your advice.

maomao may even confront you for the bad advice you have been giving Jinshi and get you to stop.

In all honesty, Jinshi is a rather tame platonic yandere that you can trick and fun with without any form of punishment.

[dracowars]

miracle | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x reader

word count: 1,5k

summary: where draco and y/n save christmas in hogwarts

a/n: a little christmas surprise for you <3 i haven't written for draco in a long time due to no inspiration and wanting to write for other characters, but i admit that i missed him so here we are with a short and sweet christmas story with our favourite boy, hope you enjoy!! ♡

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

The wind howls through the dark castle, gusts of snow whiz past the window, the snowflakes whirling around wildly. The frost climbs up the windows and the candles flicker in the late hour of the evening.

A snowstorm has been raging outside for several hours - something you really don't need right now. Yesterday was the last day of school at Hogwarts before the Christmas break, but this raging snowstorm is ruining all of your plans. The headmaster has forbidden anyone to leave the castle because it is far too dangerous to go out in this weather. But that also means that you are stuck in here. All of you.

Because no one can apparate out of here and the Hogwarts Express, no matter how magical it may be, cannot withstand this weather either.

Of course, Hogwarts offers the opportunity to stay in the castle over the holidays if you do not want to visit your relatives or simply have no one to visit. However, you know that many of your friends have been looking forward to their departure, preparing for weeks.

Even though Hermione is engrossed in one of her books right now, you see from the expression on her face how much it hurts her not to be able to see her parents, at least not in the foreseeable future. Harry and Ron are busy playing a game of Wizard's Chess, their board placed in the middle of the huge Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Harry would have spent Christmas with the Weasleys this year.

On one of the benches you watch Cho Chang and Hannah Abbott talk to each other, but they do so with sad faces. Over at the Slytherin table, the mood is also gloomy, their quiet murmuring washing over to you. But the worst thing is looking at the faces of the younger students - first to third years - and seeing the frustration and sadness in them.

After Dumbledore had you gather in the Great Hall earlier and informed you of these unfortunate circumstances, hardly anyone left the hall. Many were too shocked, too sad, too surprised or even too overwhelmed to leave.

Which leaves you with a lot of sad, even bored figures who seem to have completely lost the Christmas spirit.

But you weren't chosen as Head Girl at the beginning of the school year for nothing, and that's the reason why you suddenly find yourself at the Slytherin table, with none other than Draco Malfoy in your sights.

At first, he doesn't even notice you. He has his chin resting on his hand and looks up sullenly at the candles floating under the ceiling. Apparently, this situation doesn't even leave his dark heart cold.

"Can I talk to you for a second?", you ask, catching his attention. Draco's grey eyes wander to you, but he doesn't move. He doesn't have to, because his intense gaze already makes you shudder and your heart beat faster.

Yes, you admit it - you had a crush on him for a while. But that was only from fifth to sixth year, because suddenly everyone was swooning over him. Well, your heart apparently hasn't yet understood that this crush is long gone and no longer relevant.

Whoever decided that Draco should be Head Boy in your final year remains a mystery to you. (You know it was Dumbledore. After all, only he can fill that position, but still.)

The others at the table give you looks that you can't quite interpret. But you don't have time to do that anyway because Draco finally stands up from his seat at the table and gently places his hand on your arm. Then, he leads you away from the table to prevent the others from overhearing you.

"What's wrong?", he asks and if you didn't know better, you'd think he sounds almost worried. He doesn't ask what you want in that characteristic snarky tone of his, but what's wrong with you specifically. Suddenly you feel seen and suppress a blush before you sort out your thoughts and turn to the problem at hand.

"We have to do something. I can't bare to look at another sad face. The younger students in particular are desperate to go home", you explain to him, holding his gaze while he looks at you with peaked interest. "So I thought we might as well try to make the best of it?"

It's more so a question than a statement, but something inside of Draco's eyes lights up at your words.

"What do you have in mind?", he asks in a lowered voice and bends forward so that his face is now much closer to yours. His pale skin shines in the candlelight, his eyes standing out even more because of the black and green uniform.

To your surprise, Draco actually likes all your ideas, he is almost enthusiastic about them. While you tell him about them, he folds his arms in front of his chest and looks at you intently with a slight grin playing around his lips. Only when you ask him for his opinion does he seem to come back to reality and straighten up.

"I'm in", he winks at you with a genuine smile and immediately gets to work. Within a few minutes, the Great Hall is even more festive than before. With the help of the other Slytherins, Draco lets snow fall from the ceiling.

The Gryffindors, together with the Ravenclaws, are taking care of further Christmas decorations. They are lighting more fires in the fireplaces all around so that it is cozy and warm in the big hall. The Hufflepuffs, on the other hand, have been given a very important task - together with the house elves, they are carrying numerous baking utensils onto the huge tables.

After a while, some of the teachers have also heard about the celebrations going on in the Great Hall and are gradually joining in. Professor Flitwick is teaching some of the second years a Christmas carol while the choir is already getting into the mood.

With the help of Professor Snape, who looks as grim as ever and thus looks very similar to Ebenezer Scrooge, the Slytherins conjure up a huge ice surface in the entrance to the Great Hall. The students immediately go out onto the magical ice with ice skates that appear out of nowhere and do their laps. The snow piles up in some corners, leading to several snowball fights. Due to the snow being magical, no one gets cold or wet. Laughter echoes through the hall, and you are suddenly met with happy faces everywhere.

"Well done, Head Girl", Draco nudges you with his elbow as he suddenly appears next to you. You didn't even hear him approaching you, too busy watching the students doing pirouettes on the ice rink. The warmth emanating from him by your side makes you feel content.

"Couldn't have done it without the Head Boy", you smile at him, nudging him back playfully.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you just complimented me", Draco laughs and his eyes have that sparkle again. His laugh is something you see so rarely that you are rendered speechless for a few seconds.

"Don't get used to it, Malfoy", you reply once you have rediscovered your voice. Draco looks at you with that intense look again and you have the feeling that only the two of you exist in this very moment. That's why you are glad when you see something out of the corner of your eye, a distraction.

The house elves have been helping the students bake cookies on the huge tables. However, it has obviously gotten out of hand because a first year walks past you, completely covered in white. Not from snow, but from flour.

Startled, you run towards the tables and demand that the children stop, but it is far too loud for them to hear you. And you doubt they would even listen to your words if they did.

Draco, who is standing next to you again, is watching the events in front of you with a grin tucking at the corner of his lips. Whether it is because of the flour fight or the fact that no one is listening to you, you don't know. You look at him for help, but instead of helping you, he picks up one of the finished cookies and holds it in front of your nose.

The sweet, delicious smell fills your nose immediately and calms down your nerves. As soon as you take a bite, the chocolate, which is still a little warm, melts on your tongue.

However, you can't enjoy it much longer as a cloud of flour suddenly breaks over the both of you and completely covers you and Draco in white powder.

With your mouth open, you look at Draco in shock, who stares at you with a similar look. Then you both start laughing loudly at the exact same time. You are white from head to toe, the children around you giggling as well.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N", Draco speaks through your laughter, catching his breath while gently removing flour from the top of your head with his hand.

"Merry Christmas, Draco."

[bad-system]

alliances — let's talk KCD3

disclaimer: this post is a continuation of my previous KCD3 post on speculation of the events and lore that i'd like to see explored in the next installment(s) of the KCD story. and as per my last post; these are only speculations born of my own biased narrative and hopeful bastardizations of real events and what i personally would like to see explored in the next installment(s). this is not representative of ALL the real historical persons and events as there is either info missing on them, they were altered by WH for the sake of the game or i'm plain wrong. PS: i am not a historian. i just like history.

PART: 1 2 3 4 5

_____________________

alliances

in my previous post i laid down the barest of bones of the possible direction the story of KCD3 & 4 might move towards as well as established a very basic groundwork for the appearance of real life historical czech figures who played significant roles in the insurgence of pro-hussite views up to the point of the emergence of actual hussites around 1419.

in this post, however, i'd like to focus on the circumstances that might've driven henry and hans apart, the why's and when's, and how they ended up on opposite sides. i will support these with my own interpretations of certain KCD1 & 2 dialogues and events.

along with the smaller scale of things, i'd like to keep to the earlier timelines of generally 1405. — 1411., and focus mainly on henry's formative realizations and radicalization among the lower nobility, followers of jan hus and jan žižka.*

alliances — henry

the reason i want to focus on that particular rabble are some of the characters from KCD1 & 2; most prominently father godwin, olda of semine and miller kreyzl, who were all written as holders of pro-hussite views even at this stage of the game (story), and even foreshadowed participation in the hussite wars.

the same goes for radzig kobyla, but i didn't want to include him here like the rest because his pro-hussite and anti-sigismund sentiments will become much more prominent in the following years (1404. — 1410.), in the service of king wenceslaus iv himself along with jan žižka, jan sokol of lamberg and matěj vůdce. so while i do believe his views would greatly impact henry's own, KCD1&2 did not explicitly depict him engaging with henry in a way that actively promoted these beliefs (yet), so i did not have any interactions of the sort that i could list under here like the rest.

however, it is worth noting that radzig kobyla was already a high priority target since KCD1 in 1403. when sir markvart of aulitz names him as a conspirator against the crown during their parley at talmberg. so, we know that whatever he had been involved in before the events of KCD1, it’s clear that he had already been stirring the pot.

___

the first person we encounter with passionate sympathies towards jan hus' teachings is none other than godwin, as early as KCD1. it is during the quest "mysterious ways" that he talks to henry in a tavern about hus' teachings- loudly and full of conviction. you, as henry, can even choose to say this about the church before godwin starts talking about hus;

(henry expresses some pretty strong sentiments about the church that sound surprisingly close to early hussite views, despite henry’s supposed unfamiliarity with hus’ teachings.)

+ some of godwin's own words;

(he goes on for a while about corrupt clergy; he even directly quotes some of jan hus' words)

in KCD2, there's miller kreyzl.

towards the ending of his quests, before the black powder experiment, he talks to henry about going to university in prague and being fed dogmatic drivel and choosing to leave because of it. this is most likely where kreyzl encountered anti-church views with wycliffe's teachings gaining infamy. jan hus would go on to preach wycliffe's teachings as early as 1399. in prague university.

(kreyzl, KCD2)

not only that, but some of the things he says to henry sound very deliberate;

(also, žižka himself mentions kreyzl in passing in nebakov to henry; very possible that kreyzl would go on to become a supplier of black powder for žižka.)

and finally; olda semine.

(i'm sure this is a throw-away line that will not become relevant later. surely. definitely don't think about a certain ptaček saying this.)

not only a prominently anti-sigismund fighter, but also a very determined one. the conversation he has with henry in the raid on semine also sounded very... interesting to me.

and what's this? well, if i said "i connected the dots" and you didn't immediately reply with "you didn't connect shit" then i offer you a very tentative theory. olda here is talking about pro-sigismund traitors he considers enemies of king wenceslaus iv. and curiously, among them he names the kunstadts. sounds familar? you're probably thinking "wait, like jitka of kunstadt?"

well; yes and no.

i do believe he is refering to jitka's kunstadts but this wouldn't make much sense as the real boček II of kunštát was pro-wenceslaus and pro-hussite until death. but also, the KCD2 botschek seems to be a fictional character in a sense that he is a composite of two character by the same name; but neither of them anti-wenceslaus.

could it be a hint for future? could it have been a mistake (unlikely)? was it a deliberate rewrite of history? will this botschek be a different character? unsure, but definitely noting for future.

which brings me to the next section;

alliances - hans capon

it seems like my ideas for the possible reasons that caused hans to side with the pro-sigismund neighbouring sternbergs (šternberk) are evolving with each day. i learn more with every historical article and source i read so this is still a developing theory, but i'd like to present you with my speculations either way; hanush of leipa!

it is noted in hanush's codex entry that he later fell out of favour with wenceslaus iv because of his robbery and banditry exploits. that and that he later married markéta of šternberk (sternberg).**

could it have been possible that hans' uncle hanush, who fell out of favour with wenceslaus and married into sternbergs, had some sway in convincing hans of where to lay down his allegiances? politics for the sake of practicality rather than moral considerations?

if i had to write a plausible reason, this is what i'd do. just saying.

(however; markéta of šternberk's date of death is listed as 1365. which can mean two things- WH took the creative liberty of altering the timeline a bit or the wikipedia source is wrong.**more details on this in the next post.)

_____________________

*i will be addressing the contents of this paragraph in the next post as it would've been too long for this one. it will heavily feature henry's personal views and motivations arisen from interacting with the quickly spiralling world of bohemia across the next couple years as well as the people closest to him taking more definitive sides on what is quickly becoming henry's own war as well.

this will feature godwin, radzig, žižka, jan II of lichstenstein and if the post doesn't end up too long, i'll add my thoughts on jan sokol of lamberg and matěj vůdce.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Sometimes I think of how long Natsuyuu's been going and how much we STILL don't know about Natsume's parents, Reiko, and how they died and any other mystery that's been introduced.

The Natsume family members dying off for multiple generations to the point Natsume's dad changed his last name to keep bloodline going and now Natsume is the only one left does really imply yokai involvement (or some sort of genetic disease, and I think the former is more likely since it's obviously more relevant to the story).

(For those who don't know, I was informed of this in the past, but the reason Natsume has his mother's last name is because in Japan there's more of an emphasis on not letting the "family" die out since they can go back for a ton of generations, and in order to keep the bloodline going there's a practice of "adopting" a husband into the family sometimes.

So since Natsumom had no relatives, Dad probably changed his last name so the family name wouldn't die, especially since he clearly has plenty of relatives to carry on his bloodline/family name. This is also why the Fujiwaras don't officially adopt Natsume, it would be important for him to keep his name.)

Like was Natsume's Mom killed by a yokai she couldn't even see because they smelled Reiko on her or they were targeting bb Natsume? Did a yokai kill Natsume's dad too? Kind of horrifying!

('Dying shortly after I was born' usually implies childbirth complications, but I hope not, Natsume would find a way to blame himself if it was that).

Makes you scared for Natsume regardless. I mean not really because I don't think the manga would ever kill him, but in-universe the Natsumes clearly have a short life expectancy and I wonder if the Fujiwaras have noticed the pattern and get worried about it (Natsume's probably contemplated his high likelihood of dying young even without the family history, though :( ).

Anyway will any of these questions ever be answered? Who knows.

It's hilarious that it's been over a 100 chapters and here's the completely list of what we know about Reiko's circumstances and Natsume's family so far. (Note I'm not caught up with the manga, I just know what season 7 covered, and I'm still the process of reading the parts the anime covered too, so there might be manga info I'm missing)

Reiko is implied as also having lost her parents and was probably living with relatives too. They apparently did not like her and likely didn't treat her well.

Natsume's grandfather was also involved with yokai somehow, possibly with exorcists, and he was in the same area where Natsume lives at some point. It is possible he's the "guy from the next town over" who Reiko says "buys her manjuu and nags a lot" but that's not been confirmed.

Reiko died young and she was found dead under a tree. It was when Natsume's mother was very young, since she doesn't remember much about her. We don't know what killed her.

Natsume's grandfather was missing for whatever reason, no one ever saw him or knew who he was, and Reiko raised Natsume's mom alone. They never married, or at least people think they didn't. We don't know if he's still alive, but he might be.

Reiko met Nyanko sensei at some point, but we have no idea how, when, how close they were (definitely pretty close though, since Nyanko sensei spent enough time with her that he can take her form, and is clearly attached to her. But he also doesn't seem to know all that much about her, meaning she didn't confide in him.) and if she was involved in him getting sealed. Because we still have no idea how that happened.

All of Natsume's relatives on his Mom's side are gone. We don't know why.

Natsume's Mom probably couldn't see yokai.

Natsume's Mom was quiet and kind and loved flowers and gardening. She died shortly after he was born. We don't know what killed her.

Natsume's dad was also nice and he died when Natsume was very young thus Natsume can't remember much. Probably it was when Natsume was in the 3-6 range. We don't know what killed him.

I guess people on Natsume's dad's side of the family knew Reiko somehow despite her dying way before Natsume's mom married his dad since they talk like they knew her distantly or knew her reputation? That means Reiko and Natsume's Mom must have lived close to Natsume's dad at some point. Some of it could be Natsume's mom finding info on her mother and relaying it, like maybe she was told how she died.

And that all. Half of it is extremely vague or just implied or just a possibility too lmao. And what happened with Nyanko sensei getting sealed is another big mystery introduced in episode one we've gotten ZERO INFORMATION about since. Has Natsume even tried to ask how he got sealed. Are you not curious at all, Natsume. He probably figures it's a touchy subject I guess?

It's a good thing the manga is so good at those episodic adventures and developing Natsume and his relationships, otherwise this would drive me to tears.

[empressgeekt]

Transformers ONE/Frozen Crossover - Au summery - The Energon King Au

Okay, so this is a total impulse post. based of this post i found while browsing. Thank you so much @karioke13 for this idea. Now let's get on with the summery!

We start with a young Orion and Dion (D16), or as he preferred to be called, Dee, they were the Princes of Iacon, a small kingdom in the north of cybertron. Dee the eldest was born with the surprising ability to generate energon crystals on his own. A royal gift that hadn't been seen in so long it was thought to be myth. Energon crystals themselves form in the winter when the natural pools and rivers freeze over, but to make it out of nothing was something so powerful and rare, that even the king and queen, Megatronus and Solus were out of their league when it comes to understanding. Of course they didn't worry about it at first, Dee seemingly had good control over his abilities.

Until one night, where the brothers snuck out of their berths to play in the throne room. It was a simple night of fun, making Energon ball fights, building energon snow forts, and of course building an energonmech by the name of Bee. That innocent night however ended when Dee slipped and accidentally struck Orion with his abilities, causing part of the younger prince's helm to turn teal. In a panic to save their son, Megatronus and Solus rush both boys to the mountains, to meet with tribe of minicons, lead by Micronus, who cures Orion, but at the cost of the young mech's memories of magic. The elderly minicon warns Dee about how his abilities will only grow and that fear will be come his enemy if he doesn't learn to control them. Megatronus and Solus close the gates to the Iacon palace, and keep Orion away from his brother, until Dee learns to control it. Of course separating the brothers, does nothing for them in the long run.

Meanwhile, Little Elita and Jazz, two orphans of the energon harvesters in the mountains get separated from the rest of there group and lost in the woods. They see Dee's energon trail and follow it to the minicon tribe, where they are promptly adopted by a cat minicon named Ravage.

Back with the royal family. Orion's rendition of "Do You Want to Build an Energon Man?" happens, the boys grow up separate, Orion becoming book dependent and Dee becoming a glove addict, and the king and queen die under mysterious circumstances. Everything remains at a standstill, until Dee comes of age and his coronation rolls around. He's dreading a day out in public, while Orion is relishing it. Of course the young prince wakes up late, with drool all over his pillow, but he's out of the castle first chance he gets, and bumps into a princess from Eukaris, Airachnid. The two seem to hit it off, however, what Orion doesn't know is that Airachnid has a deal with Sentinel, the duke of rustytown ("It's RustleTin!"), for her to swoon one of Iacon's princes, in order to get better trading deals for both their kingdoms. Their plan actually seemed to be going perfectly, Airachnid getting Orion to agree to a proposal that very night.

Orion is so happy with how much of a fairytale the day had turned out to be, finding the love of his life and finally being allow outside of the palace walls. It's the first time in forever that he's actually had time with his brother and people, and when Dee doesn't share his excitement over his engagement it's crushing. He's had enough of his brother shutting him out and corners Dee, making the elder brother accidentally reveal his powers, and sentinel slips on the energon crystals, while the newly crowned king makes a run for it. Dee doesn't realize it, but he crystalizes the entire ford and it drastically alters Iacon's climate, the temperature dropping dramatically. Orion feels guilty and goes after his brother, leaving Airachnid in charge of Iacon.

Dee runs off to the northern mountains, which are always frozen, and in this isolation he finally finds some semblance of peace. He misses his brother, but experimenting with his powers really taking it to the next level is so much fun that he forgets his pain. However the first thing he makes is a energon man resembling the one he and orion made as sparklings. He creates a large energon palace for himself, rips of his coronation cape and crown, creating new ones from his powers. He doesn't see the energonmech walk off by itself.

Orion struggles through out his journey, the sudden winter makes crazy weather happen, and after falling into a river his own coronation cape freezes. By some miracle he stumbles on to the a trading post, "Maccadam's Wandering Trading Post and Sauna". Inside he buys better insulators for himself, and Meets Elita. Now grown up, she and Jazz work as independent Energon crystal harvesters, a business that is not all that successful. Orion asks her about the northern mountains, and she grumply explains to him about how they "seemed like magic" while arguing over the price of some rust-sticks for jazz and climbing equiment, not being a people person she gets thrown out, much to her foster brother's disappointment.

Jazz: Should've let me handle it, Eli

Elita: Oh shut up, you can go with out you're treats for a few days, besides I just found us a free place to sleep tonight.

Orion buys their supplies, and after listening to Jazz singing, makes a deal with Elita to take him to the northern mountains. They leave that night in Jazz and Elita's old hover sled. Jazz is driving, while Elita and Orion get into an argument about his recent engagement in the back.

Elita: I'm sorry you just met her?! You can't marry someone you just met!

Orion: You can if it's true love!

Elita: It doesn't sound like true love.

Orion: How would know? You some kind of love expert?

Jazz: Eli? Nah, our mother? oh yeah.

Elita: And she would agree with me.

The sled gets attack by rabid turbofoxs, and ends up in the bottom of a gorge...Orion offers to pay for it, and Jazz convinces Elita to follow him to make sure he doesn't die so they can get that new sled. The mountain is oddly beautiful in its frozen state, and while walking through a very pretty grove, they come across a very young voice, a little mech made of frozen energon crystals.

Bee: yea it really is really beautiful isn't it? but its so blue, maybe a little color? Like red, or pink? How about purple? Oh wait no...Purple Energon, blrg!

Orion kicks Bee's head off and he and Elita play hot potato with it for a moment, with Jazz screaming in the background. Eventually however, after introducing himself as Bee, Orion recongizes the energonmech as the one he and Dee made as sparklings. Orion introduces himself and accidentally tells Bee that Elita and Jazz are both named Jazz. To their horror Bee goes one to tell them how he dreams of heat and summer. Elita thinks they have to tell him since this is like a witnessing a deathwish, but Orion and Jazz stop her.

Tensions mean while rise in Iacon, since Airachnid has to give away goods to make sure she plays her role, but it gets on Sentinel's nerves, after all they are both here for a profit and you won't make that when you give everything away. However before things could escalate, a patrol comes back with a ripped piece of Orion's coronation cape, and a search party is sent out.

Orion, Elita, Jazz and Bee finally make it to Dee's energon palace. Elita and Jazz upset about not being able to go inside at first because, "energon is our lives!" Dee is surprised to see Orion, happy, but still wants to keep his distance especially after learning he brought Bee to life. Orion doesn't stop pushing when Dee tries to shove him away to protect him, and it gets worse after the elder brother learns about what he did to Iacon. Dee has an outburst and hits Orion in the spark. Elita and Jazz run in at that point and Dee summons a giant seeker made of energon crystals to shove them out, to which Orion flips off, triggering a chase that leads to Elita, Orion and Jazz falling off a cliff. (yess I made Darkwing Marshmallow and I have no regrets).

After the fall Orion begins to panic about how he has no plan since Dee threw him out. Elita calms him down, and Jazz sees some sparks between the two, only for any teasing to get snuffed out when Orion's platting started to shift in color, going from red and blue to a teal like color in patches. Elita and Jazz decide to take the prince to Micronus since they think he can help. Orion and Bee think the siblings are crazy for a minute since the minicons were all hiding when they arrived so it looked like they were talking to nothing. All of the Minicons get really excited when they see Orion, thinking he's with Elita (Jazz has a boy friend who lives down south). Que a "Fixer Upper", and while Jazz does think the wedding is a bit much, he's glad that his family sees the potential couple like he does. Thankfully, Orion faints mid wedding ceremony, to which Micronus finally makes and appearance, and explains that Dee froze his spark, and he needs an act of true love to save him. With the suggestion of a true love's kiss placed in their minds, Jazz and Elita rush the ill prince back to Iacon to get a kiss from his fiancé.

Dee's energon palace is attacked and to his surprise his curse protected him, however he is still captured and wakes up in a cell with is servos encased in shackles. Airachnid begs him to stop the winter, but Dee says he can't. And in his panic he freezes his cell and makes a storm began to blow outside.

Elita and Jazz get Orion back to the Iacon palace, and neither of them feel right about leaving him there. Orion tries to get Airachnid to kiss him, his platting nearly completely teal and frosting over, but she betrays him claiming that she was only going to marry him for the throne, and was always planning to take out Dee. Airachnid douses the fire and leave Orion to die, both her and sentinel manipulating the other leaders to kill Dee. Bee finds him and relight the fire, helping Orion figure out his love for Elita. At the same time Jazz talks some sense into Elita and both siblings start running back to Iacon upon seeing the blizzard brewing. Both lovers start running towards each other through the storm in a desperate attempt to save orion's life.

Dee however is running blindly in a panic, he's never wanted this. he's never wanted to doom his people. Airachnid comes out of the wind, and tells him his worst fear come true. His brother is dead, slain by his servo. Grief is different then panic and fear, so the young king collapses to the ground and the storm comes to a stand still. With the air now clear, Orion is faced with a choice save him and run to Elita or save his brother. He runs to Dee, stopping Airachnids stabbing limb as his body fully crystalized. Airachnid is thrown back by the impact and Dee looks up to see his brother in Energon crystal. He clings to the statue sobbing. Bee calls for Orion, and Jazz supports his sister as they stare on in grief. By some miracle Orion reverts to metal, his sacrifice for his brother out of love being enough to save him. It's through this that Dee learns how to thaw the rest of Iacon, also how to keep poor Bee from melting.

Peace is restored to Iacon, Airachnid and Sentinel's ploy was found out and they were both sent away with Iacon respectfully cutting contact with their kingdoms. Elita and Orion get together, and Dee's powers are now an open secret and the gates forever remain open.

---

Once more, questions are welcome on this au, and if anyone wants to write it out you are welcome as long as credit is given. thanks again to @karioke13 and everyone involved in that post's thread.

[saltybean03]

adding onto never seeing illumi fight (other than phantom rouge but that hardly counts because it was a puppet) i seriously wonder wtf kinda beast he is

mind you, i dont read the manga, so feel free to fill in on what i might be missing

the puppet thing makes me think he could probably do some weird shadow clone type shit where he can just have like 10 of him in one room to fight a really troublesome opponent, assuming he says fuck it to using other people that might not be able to dole out his kind of power (idk, when he pins ppl are they just drones or do they also become ridiculously strong out of nowhere in a fight?)

he is not scared of hisoka by any means, who we HAVE seen fight (and is obvi very strong), so hes def confident enough in his ability to kill him outright if he really wanted to

also him using a puppet to go after gon (WHO WAS BLIND) AND killua struck me as a precaution, possibly of gon because i think after that tantrum he had at the hunter exam where he broke his wrist, he knew right then that there was a chance he COULD fuck him up and he didn't want to take it (in the anime he acknowledged he had potential, so i mean)

its not necessarily indicative of him being afraid of gon or his brother, because precautions are just smart thinking, but i just thought it was interesting he decided to do that when, again, he could easily beat them half to death in person (unless he was just busy and couldn't walk away from what he was doing and thats why he used a puppet LMFAO)

edit: and yes, im well aware gon is hisoka's target and that's why he didnt kill him the first time, but like i said, he isnt afraid of hisoka, so theres nothing REALLY stopping him from offing gon fr

all this mystery surrounding illumi regarding his power level and what he actually looks like beating ass, and all we got was a fake out, im so upset 😭

the whole zoldyck arc just opened more questions rather than answered any for me bruh, other than what their mom looked like (because its funny 99% of the family takes after the mom, and then there's just killua who looks like his dad)

like why is illumi so weirdly infatuated with manipulating killua so he can be an obedient t1000..........? from putting that pin in his head to force him to not fight battles he doubted he could win, and spying on him during the hunter exam, to considering killing gon because he was a 'distraction'.......

weirdo energy

and lets not forget his disdain for alluka. doesnt consider her part of the family, even said hed kill her. wtf is that about????? i read she was born under 'mysterious circumstances' and kept isolated from the other siblings, and because of that she is pretty much the 'normal' sibling despite the glaring cheat code she apparently is

for obvious reasons, i cant help but wonder if its because she's a girl in a family of boys. be my guest and explain that dynamic to me, someone, plz

and then his whole thing with hisoka. like, how did that start?

when did this mf join the phantom troupe btw? and why?? for what?? i know damn well he aint looking for no more friends outside of hisoka, so whats that leading up to??

how can one make such a lore attractive character with truly so little lore? help???

[seat-safety-switch]

I don't know what it is, but for some reason, I really hate having the city inspector show up. Every time I get an improvement or repair to the house done, I always get nervous that they're going to find something wrong. This, of course, is ridiculous. I didn't do the work. Some other person, who I paid with my missing landlord's credit card, did some professional business-type things with the full expectation it would be inspected.

To make matters worse, something real creepy happened to me the other day. Soon, I would discover exactly why I had such anxiety around allowing a stranger to peer into the innermost guts of my home, and gaze upon the work performed by another.

I had to put in a new hot-water heater. This job could be done by myself, but it would involve getting slightly wet, and it was better to let my absentee landlord, who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, improve the equity he has in his house with a much-needed renovation. Besides, I was too busy out in the yard, using a chunk of tree trunk to dislodge the recalcitrant passenger-side motor mount of a 1968 Dart. That's a story for another time; you're here to hear about this Bob Vila-ass homeowner shit.

A technician showed up, riding a relatively primo-looking late-00s (I guessed 2006) Ford E-250 work van with a couple dings on the rear bumper that were evidence of an aggressive attitude towards parallel parking in the urban environment. I don't remember what she looked like. She dropped off a big hot water heater, hooked everything up, then carried the old one off slung over one shoulder. That's when things went weird.

For weeks after, my surveillance network (a bunch of deer cameras I stole from the woods) was constantly tripping with sightings of a mysterious new home invader. When I checked the photos in the morning, all I'd see in the shots were khakis, a city-coloured polo shirt, occasionally a pair of anti-slip, steel-toed low-rise sneakers. Never a clear picture of his face. He'd stick a "sorry we missed you" label to the door, and escape into the night.

When I called the city to complain that home inspections should not be done at 3 am, they told me that the inspector by that name had died long ago. I started to get really freaked out, which I guess is a common reaction, because the municipal help-line technician went on to explain.

"We're really short on staff, so we've been getting some of our inspections performed by the living dead. Keeps the pension payments down, too. Don't tell the union."