#didn’t have a pattern or anything
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Get sick + Lose your mind = Perry the Platypus
#honestly making this was like a fever dream#except when I came to it existed#didn’t have a pattern or anything#just Perry#also peak make some noise in the background#perry the platypus#doctor doofenshmirtz#phineas and ferb#knitting#knitblr#knitters of tumblr#not a drawing#but#my art
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uuuuh yeah, i’m a little sick of romance being treated as the only type of love that matters, so yeah, get headcanoned as aro/ace
#Sorry this is largely a reaction to the whole ‘u can’t hc viktor as aro/ace bc disabled people’#Cus it’s treating the actual problem like a monolith#There’s FOR SURE a pattern of disabled characters getting hc’ed as aro/ace#And one should def look deeper into where that hc comes from and if it may or may not be rooted in ableism#THAT BEING SAID if arcane didn’t teach you anything else it should’ve taught you that all types of love are important#And can fuck u up#Love between sisters#Love between a child and their parent#Love between lovers#love between situationships#love between whatever the fuck vik and jayce got going#All of them are equally constructive and destructive#So when i say ‘jayce and vik have smthn going on besides romance’#I fuckin mean it#Is it friendship? Is it romance? It doesn’t fuckin matter#It was so strong it transcended TIME AND SPACE#It fucks WAY harder than regular romance#So yeah fuck you#My boys can in fact be aro/ace AND have a bond that exploded into stars#Without it being labled as ableism without any nuance whatsoever#Arcane#jayvik
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Quiet i am OVERANALYZING over here
#a date with death#if my past interests have been anything to go off of I am awesome at making a mountain out of a moundhill.#I think I might have like 28 hours on this game so far.#oops (a lot of it has probably been afk but i genuinely have been playing the game way too much)#haven’t done this since I did a speech pattern analysis on Emmet#genuinely I’ve missed quite a bit on my last few runs because I simply didn’t choose some options#there is a lot of lore you could miss about him#mun rambles#maybe i am going insane. just a little bit#i can’t wait for the dlc to come out and i learn a lot more about him :)#I’ll probably buy the dlc that’s currently out and write some more notes on what makes a reaper a reaper
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Which other characters do you feel have been most misrepresented or poorly localised apart from Rock/Romeo?
most of the characters would be localized differently if DS/cute had been localized by xseed hmmm
(a lot of bachelorette heart events exclusive to the boy version are probably worse, given that the boy version can get downright incomprehensible more often than the girl version, but i’m not going through the hell of restarting the english version of DS for yet another time given that it’s Save File Corruption Speedrunner)
i need to preface this by saying i’m only trying to call this an Interesting and Unfortunate Change but….
one big example that comes to mind is Ain / Kai and his “too touchy-feely?” first heart event….. is not about that in japanese and since it’s not quite equivalent it gets a real sense of unintentional Bad in english
in the japanese version of the event, Ain brings up the fact that he just calls you your name, without the honorific -san. omitting that definitely makes him come off as overfamiliar (whole ass trope about new couples getting flustered over being called their first name with no honorific for the first time), but Ain is Not From Here and overall speaks in the casual, friendly way he’s used to.
he asks you if you’re uncomfortable with him using your name like that
obviously the correct choice is to say you don’t mind at all and everything is fine. BUT if you tell him it’s too much…. he apologizes and tries saying your name with -san… but he realizes he just can’t do it, because “after all, aya is just aya (or whatever your name is). which is kinda weird, but it would require all his normal dialogue lines to be rewritten, so i guess we need to return to the status quo…whatever…
obviously this presents a conundrum in the english version, since honorific speech isn’t used in english the same way it is in japanese. so the event has to be about something slightly different…
the solution natume came up with was to have it be about him patting you on the back
you can probably already see the problem with this but let’s look at it anyway
i mean that’s kinda… odd, but hey, on the bright side, there’s no need for them to return to the status quo so surely he’ll stop if you ask him to..?
yea okay man haha…i don’t think i will…….
#queue tea pie#what’s the point of asking ‘hey are you uncomfortable with how much i touch you’ if you’re going to ignore my answer…#this event creeped me out when i was younger#as a side note rock (AWL) doesn’t use honorifics or even your name most of the time but romeo (DS) uses them properly#(good boy)#bokumono#harvest moon#harvest moon ds cute#hmds cute#hmds#ain#kai (ds)#localization stuff#having seen all the forget valley boys heart events in japanese…hmmmm……..#gared (griffin’s) heart events are great… romeo’s are my favorite overall because of the Arc#i’m liking steiner more in JP (an annoying babygirl)#ash’s last heart event was great and i like his dialogue more in JP but i really didn’t like his blue heart event…#there’s certain Unfortunate Probably Unintentional Vibes that would probably be changed in a remake#i honestly play a lot more of the JP version than the english version so it’s hard for me to comment on anything i haven’t seen in english#but a lot of the time in general Tone and Feeling is ignored and thus the characters sound unnatural in EN#like compare the way Xseed handled everyone’s unique speech patterns and dialogue with the way natume did in awl…
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Being haunted by jegulus and moonwater 😔😔
#bold of you to assume that the two people closest to sirius#the two people he loved the most#and who loved him the most#closest relationships outside of his family#would have ANYTHING to do with his abusive family#this includes his brother btw#bc yea regulus was kind of a victim in the family too#but he also played the game#he went with what his family said#unlike sirius#this means he wasn’t a sad cat hated and judged by everyone#he maybe didn’t believe in the nazi’s beliefs but he still worked for them lmao#ffs#and REMUS DKSKDKDLDD#Remus would fucking despise all of Sirius’s family#and the moment regulus made any comment diminishing sirius in any way its get out of my house for remus#the only way jegulus or moonwater would ever make any sense is if sirius didn’t exist in James’s or remus’s life#you know who regulus would date tho#fucking Barty#or fucking snape#why??#bc regulus went his whole life repeating abusive patterns#this is the type of person that would get in a relationship with someone as abusive and with the same beliefs his parents had#and like I’m not saying oh regulus can’t be happy put that boy in an abusive relationship#I’m saying what makes sense for his character#unless he fucking changes completely#lol#anyway
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i don’t have any butch friends irl and so i wish that i didn’t have such beef with the only other butch at work but. she’s the kind of person who never says anything “cancellable” even as a joke and it drives me fucking nuts
#i wish we didn’t have beef but. bro they’re such a killjoy in such a literal way like. bro.#literally. she gets pissed when the rest of us joke around or like. sing along to the music when it’s good#AND they’re stupid.#when i told them abt how one of our (lesbian) managers has a pattern of sexually harassing past employees i ended the story with#‘g-d forbid women do anything’#they literally gasped and were like ‘how could you say that’ like. be real. you seriously think i’m not joking. jesus
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I have consistently seen more thinkpieces about “it’s okay to just not like Cory and America” than I’ve seen thinkpieces moralizing dislike.
#bb25#but fine I’ll moralize my dislike#meme is physically in the house and still thinks she and felicia are next#jag puts on his lil blaccent whenever he’s in the same room as someone darker than a paper bag#cory didn’t actually do anything he’s just a cocky nerd god forbid I hate a cocky nerd!#altho him saying cirie was yelling at meme is… incheresting#i personally think america being anti cirie to the point of tanking her own game was weird#and the pattern of who she’s willing to give grace to despite repeated betrayals (matt jag blue) vs not (meme) is weird#she’s not against steamroll alliances bc she started in family style and is back in family style#matt is matt#we’re already the minority can’t we be haters in peace#also certain pfps have gone full mask off on twitter sorry for like. connecting dots.
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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life is falling through my fingers more that usually
#i’ve been in a pretty much constant state of panic since january#and it’s gotten worse recently bc of 1. thesis writing (or lack thereof)#2. administrative problems at uni that i caused due to the constant state of anxiety and depression#like whyyyy do things like going to the uni office send me spiraling like nothing else#and i’ve been feeling weird and disconnected for a while now and nothing seems to interest me anymore#like i’m light headed in the worst way and i think if one thing goes badly i’ll genuinely fall down crying#and i can’t seem to do anything productive bc of the anxiety either#ok i checked usos. the administrative problem got more or less solved#oh thank god#i love depression loveee it love causing problems for myself that i later have to bother other people about bc i can’t solve them by myself#esp when you have to admit to them that mental illness is what caused them bc even when they’re sympathetic and nice about it i still feel#like such a pathetic idiot my god#also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure#from silly things to more serious ones#like how i didn’t attend my elementary school graduation nor the hs one#the first one bc of travelling and the second bc of covid#so i just closed my laptop and then went to pick up my diploma after matura results and that was it i never saw any of my teachers or#thanked them etc#and how all my friendships that died out were this kind of sudden drop like nothing happened but we just stopped talking one day and that#was it and idk where we stand#and how i seem to leave loose threads everywhere i go and i can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence or if i do that on purpose but#unconciously so as to not have to deal with things ending bc that scares me#i’ve never felt grounded in any moment and it’s so strange#also yeah yeah weird behaviour meant to save me from abandonment whatever#📓#niedziela wieczór i humor popsuty co mogę powiedzieć
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Im sorry I meant the future designs! But all your art is so good too!
OKAY COOL COOL sorry i have a dumb monkey brain. BUT IF that’s the case then my answer still is I drew one Jamil and one Najma 😩 otherwise i didn’t make any for the other characters cuz……..
actually i don’t have a reason, i just didn’t lol i probably shouldn’t try scrambling to come up with a reason when one doesn’t exist.
BUT WILL I EVER MAKE MoRe??? Hard to say. tbh i had my motivation to do so dashed after too many backhanded “compliments” and the disproportionate feedback after I tried to play around with it more
so let’s say it’s just murky right now
#cozy ask#but thank u tho 🥺 hopefully#its not even a favoritism thing i just didn’t 💀#But I am noticing patterns I’m not particularly a fan of.#I know all this is completely detached from the work itself and more so falls into biases folk have towards some charas#but its like!!!! idk!!! for that reason i partially dont think i earned anything.#its hard to tell if its the concept being liked or just the face involved.#so i tested it and turns out#😔✌️#So suffice to say I’m not sure if it’s worth putting in the effort.
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it’s for real this time i’m gonna sort things out and i am going to end this (talking about work)
#and you could say hey ezra. what were you doing all day. why didn’t you do anything during the normal hours. ezra.#you weren’t even having fun. why do you do this to yourself. why are you like this as the gay people say.#maybe you should practice healthy sleeping patterns and stop feeling weirdly bad about sleep.#hey ezra why aren’t you listening to me. i’m saying the logical rational thing here why are you doing this it’s just not sensible#and to which i say#actually can’t think of a very good counter argument#but i’m doing one (1) thing tomorrow at 3pm that will last like 2-3 hours so that’s like all of tomorrow (today) gone#so if i don’t get this done now it’ll be too late#ezra’s real life rambles#i will fucking slaughter ecology just you wait#that sounds not very good without context internet people don’t worry about this :)#just doin my silly things#(thing is idk when i’ll even be able to hand this god forsaken hell forsaken booklet in but i still feel#i must do it in time for the due date it’s very important#re on the other hand can just go die i really do not care)
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It was rainy and I had a cup of tea to go alongside with it, so my productivity got a major boost today. So more work on personal projects!
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#milla vodello#wip#my art obviously#I wanted a good reference for the top half/arms so I tried my best to take a picture of myself#but *shockingly* I don’t causally own a lab coat so I used a robe. hopefully it doesn’t impact anything#but yeah! Fabrics moving! I’m going to hate placing the patterns later!#btw did you know Sasha’s lab coats have like shoulder pads??? Because I didn’t until today
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perhaps final destination 2 was just really bad. jj criminal minds you just did not give what needed to be gave…
#also i think putting clear in it was a bad choice#if you’re gonna have a new cast every installment then have a new cast every installment#like i get why they kept her because someone needed to connect the events back to the first movie#but like i think the movie suffered from having to reexplain too much#and they changed the rules which was ridiculous#and jj criminal minds was getting too many visions#it’s not about VISIONS it’s about the PATTERNS. alex wouldn’t have fucking visions#except the one.#also one of the main characters was a cop so that sucked ass.#and the thing with the baby was stupid as shit and didn’t make sense#how does new life stop death when the whole point is that nothing stops death#like if anything shouldn’t new life bring about more death if the new life comes from someone who was meant to die or whatever#see the rules don’t make sense and it pisses me off. if you’re going to have rules commit to them like seriously#the third one followed the rules. she noticed the Patterns and whatever#beth.txt#i still don’t think i’m wrapping my head around the Point of these movies exactly unless there isn’t one#but 3 was WAY better than 2. equal to 1 to me#not better tho because i don’t particularly love either of them exceedingly#sorry i pissed everybody off when i didn’t like the second one. blame the movie for being bad then idk
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ignore this i just wanna ramble in the tags for a sec i’ll probably delete it in a bit 🤪
#did an escape room with the fam on my sister’s birthday two days ago and my brother made me feel stupid the entire time#wouldn’t listen to me wouldn’t share or let me help and then act like i wasn’t helping (??? let me then)#and because he’s Loud my whole family was following his lead and ignoring me#but in the end i was the reason we won bc i was the only one who immediately understood the word riddles AND the one who wrote down#all the numbers he said we wouldn’t need. i was the only one who could connect the past information with the current problem#the only one who listened fully to the cd and decided to write down the locations without it being relevant yet#the only one who thought the tiny details might be relevant and the only one who automatically fixed his mistakes bc i noticed a pattern#and in the end still got no credit for anything (except from my mom) even tho if they had listened to me from the beginning they would’ve#been less stressed and finished sooner#then at the restaurant he didn’t listen to me again and we ordered too much even tho i told him we wouldn’t need it#THEN after dinner my grandma started texting me all frustrated telling me i need to keep my aunt updated on what’s happening thru the day#so she doesn’t feel left out. bc she’s having a rough time lately. bc it’s my job to make everyone feel better#FIRST of all this woman ignored me for years when her ex husband decided i wasn’t worth it#and now suddenly it’s my job to keep u informed on my every move so u don’t feel left out?? text me urself. ask what i’m doing.#ask HOW i’m doing??? do u even care beyond a ‘what colour is your sturdiness today namaste’#every time my aunt complains about the tiniest thing and starts crying about it it my grandma blames everyone else#no one even knows or cares if i’m having a rough time#she came to ‘help’ when my mom was sick and i did everything for her instead. and then she threw a fit when i wouldn’t eat her salad#when i was too exhausted from staying up all night with my mother to go on a run with her the next day#my mom finally got mad at her for implying i’m lazy all the time and told her i’m ‘neurodiverse’ and do things my own way and she didn’t#even know what that meant so my mom was like ‘on the spectrum ‘ and my aunt just got mad that she had never told her#would it have made a difference at all? would u have expected different from me?#meanwhile i’ve done so much for my cousin… including taking care of luca the entire time she stayed with us. i had him all the time#i didn’t mind. i love that kid more than anything. but everyone expects everything from me like it’s just a given#i talked her through every problem every breakdown walked on eggshells to keep her happy and then what does she do when she leaves?#ignores me. doesn’t come back when she said she would. complains that i don’t include her in things#bc sometimes i have quiet conversations with my sister so i don’t bother everyone#and then gg wants to know why i won’t come see her? why i won’t drop everything to fly there? my aunt wants to know why i don’t call?#because despite loving me u have made me feel inadequate my whole life. some of u more than others#and i’m tired. and it’s time for me to Be me For me without justifying it to everyone else.
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using my knowledge of suit construction to become insufferable
#found a great brocade last month and i’m trying to find a reasonable jacket pattern#picked one up today. possibly didn’t read the back as thoroughly as i should have but *even so*#its only interfacing is fusible and inside the collar.#no canvas. no lining.#i understand that sometimes jackets are made unlined for ease of tailoring#sure#but no canvas??#one piece of fusible interfacing?#you’re going to compromise the structure!!#it’s not even half-canvas! why don’t i just cut the brocade into a sack and wear that!#(the pattern was $2 on sale so i’ve not lost anything. just comically frustrated)
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💭
#third time I’ve gone out for a walk#it was ok. i still haven’t figured out a rhythm for walking yet#i tried fast walking but i noticed that after a little while I ended up slowing down unconsciously so i gotta figure that out#it was going ok I was feeling good until I noticed this guy wouldn’t stop staring at me but I mostly ignored it and even slightly rolled my-#eyes at him at one point lol so i didn’t give in to fear and was able to manage but then also this two guys in a motorcycle passed by me and#screamed like yelped?? i guess to scare me bc they laughed when I turned in their direction on reflect#and i was able to brushed it off at first thinking they must be kids and maybe they were doing a joke or something but then in another lap-#they did it again I don’t know why :/ good thing i didn’t get scared or anything but it did kinda weirded me out#i don’t know why guys do that kinda stuff and just can’t leave you alone#again if this was me a little while ago i would have been terrified and would have run home and feel paranoid for the rest of the day but im#good now I’m trying to leave those patterns of behavior behind#i guess i just gotta figure out how to deal with unwanted attention and to not let it affect me#it was still a beautiful day tho. i guess#trying to be positive#i guess im gonna chronicle this from time to time#online diary
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