#did you guys know I have autism
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me vs the deep and primal need to scream and thrash everywhere (i saw something dead poets society related)
#desire mona#did you guys know i have autism#i dont think anyone can tell#have i mentioned how much i love tumblr i have never felt quite so free to CONSTANTLY talk abt my hyperfixation#dead poets society
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anyways here’s my one piece live action tier list with consideration towards the anime
LISTEN OKAY My ranking of the ACTUAL straw hats is VERY different so here are my justifications;
Luffy - What can I say? He’s kinder and less curt but still has the same silly determination I love. His performance isn’t perfect. I don’t care. That’s my fuckign boy and I love him.
Ussop - This dude is WEIRD he is WACKY he is SAD he is SELF CONSCIOUS he got to smooch the girl he likes. I just wish they’d given him more screen time.
Sanji - I have mixed opinions on Mr Skylar himself but this was a fantastic interpretation of Sanji’s character. The dramatic gestures of devotion would not have translated well to LA. They made the right move making him flirty, but not head over heels. Casual misogyny was spot on. I like the London accent. He nailed the crying face.
Nami - I wanted to love herrrr I really really wanted toooooo but this just did not hit for me. Anime Nami has her serious moments but she is just as silly as the rest of them! She giggles and smiles! She’s a fucking bitch to people! The actress is great, I loved her as Marcille, so I’m hoping season two will give her more time to be a dickhead <3
Zoro - who is this. Did they go straight to post time skip characterisation? Why is he so cold? Why no silly? Why no tee hee? I liked the bickering with Sanji and that he got the one F bomb. Anyways the absolute best live action characters were Buggy and Mihawk I am convinced they just pulled them straight out of the screen and filled them with cunt juice
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page 1 out of *checks files* what is currently 15 but that may or may not change depending on how i’m gonna format the writing into the sketches
hopefully gonna get 2 and 3 out either today or tomorrow bc neither of those have a complete background room and that took me an unnecessarily long amount of time
#sth#sth fanart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedghog fanart#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow#sonadow#comic#my art#artists on tumblr#guys i have totally 100% made comics before and know exactly what i’m doing (lying)#also did you guys notice the little autism creature plush on the shelf i thought that was silly#i hate drawing backgrounds#especially bedrooms bc then you have to figure out what to put in space#and then you forget any sort of trinket you have ever#except rubik’s cubes i have exactly 1 million scattered im my room so i put one on shadow’s shelf teehee
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i am not autistic but i do believe in their beliefs
#^ guy who has a raadsr score of 16 but thought eye contact was a myth well into high school#something they dont tell you about autism is that if you happen to be raised by and around mostly autistic people#some wires will get crossed regardless of what is actually going on in your brain.#my family and friends r like 90% autistic people there was no getting away clean. i was raised thinking this was just how everyone is#like yeah your family dinner conversations dont consist of 4 people infodumping about completely seperate topics at each other for an hour?#this isnt me being in denial btw i know for certain i am not autistic. i just think its funny that i have like. secondhand autism#and also because i am not beating the autism allegations in the comments of that last post. its not me guys its my father i swear#he did this to me#personal
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me constantly switching media hyperfixations
#haha did you guys know i definitely have adhd#groove-tacular other#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurodivergent memes#adhd#adhd memes#autism#actually adhd#actually neurodivergent#hyperfixations#hyperfixation#monster high#monster high g1#monster high memes#monster high holt
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cliffjumper wip. still need to draw his bestie bee bcs i refuse to pit two queens against each other
rip my wife. killed bcs her smokey cat eyed slay was TOO loud 🤫 !!
#bulkier sharper bumblebee my Beloved#cliffjumper except emphasis on the cliff#i think he should have spiky climbing boots that can unsheath bigger spikes like that hot guy in spongebob#movie#LOL#so hes taller than bumblebee#but his thing is that he can clear cliffs with a single jump#and can also rocket jump too#a poor aerial decepticon flies by minding its business and all a sudden cliffjumper leaps str8 up into the air#and slices it in half with one kick#nobody says anything bcs they think bumblebee did that LMFAO#so bumblebee is just sipping hot coco when rubble after making some for him & rubble & rubble runs into the kitchen#bee: how was your day today my sweetiesparkling!!!😊😊!!#rubble: MOMMA URE A CRIMINALLLL🎶🎶 (criminulll)#bee: 😀🙂.... i beg your pardon -😃?#anyways i do not blame deathsaurus for craving that cookie so fking bad#and mirage for being in love with cliff after cliff was out for fking blood for his spark#in my eyes cliff is very much the soldier without the charisma bee has . theyre very foils but also best friends#he does not get sarcasm he does not have time for toning things down he loves shedding energon doesnt matter whose somebot will Die#& bee is like haaha cliff OF FUN of course haha🥰🥰😥🥰 <- is also covered in the energon of his enemies#basically cliff is like if bee didnt mask his autism all the time LMFAOO but they both envy each other secretly but still love eachother#if bee hears someone call cliff red bb he will lecture u until generstions end & if he hears u say it TO cliff u WILL die#if cliff hears u making fun off bee it doesnt matter if u were 8000ft away just casually mentioning ure not a fan of him.. cliff will Find u#deathsaurus: ive been dreaming abt k*lling u over & over & over again haha i know im so crazxyyy 🤪 lol😝!#cliff: thats fucking cringe + ure a loser + ure ugly + im Killing you + die#cliffjumper#tf#maccadam#transformers#transformers bumblebee
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God I love having audhd sometimes. My room is a museum of all my favorite things and it makes me SO GIDDY. Its a permanent display of dopamine and serotonin. I got the fnaf shelf, the MH shelf, the Luigi corner, the funko pop wall, the fox shelf, the--
#did you guys know im fascinated with tea sets ?#I have a small collection of miniature tea sets#and a few tea pots and a few tea cups#I made my own tea pot in ceramics!#Its a little wonky but I love it so much :D#I made it#with me own hands... /ref#autism#adhd
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Do you have an account on TV Tropes?
i've long since lost the login for it but yuh i was a tv tropes girlie and yes it ruined my vocabulary
#i need to make a new one i need to get autisticer again. i need to be that guy filling in tv tropes pages again#there's a severe lack of coverage on the twr on the literature page and its subpages and by god i Will commandeer them for myself#did you know the characters page only lists roz and brightbill? brightbill doesn't even have a description or tropes or anything! insane#they don't even have chitchat.....#nobody on tv tropes knows about chitchat because they cut her from the movie and nobody's updating the literature pages#they don't know about autism to adhd communication...........
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y'know it somehow only now occurs to me that i probably should/should've made a fallen london sideblog so im not bothering all yall with my latest hyperfixation.
sorry not sorry
#i might at some point#lord knows i am the least comprehensive or consistent tumblr blog of all time.#i don't know why you guys are still here#yin-thoughts#i don't usually make sideblogs exclusively for fandom interests#if i did i'd have 2 million and this blog would be empty#this is all just in the waiver you have to sign when you follow tumblr user @thegreatyin i guess#is it really tumblr if im not going through an autism 200000 moment and subjecting everyone to it against their will?
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i’ve been having a hard time realizing and grieving my naivety/lack of intuition, especially relating to autism and ocd. there’s smth so helpless in feeling like you can’t trust yourself. but i think i’m starting to reach a point of balance. ik i don’t have the best judgment, but maybe my intuition can be the kindness i judged as naivety
i just couldn’t accept the idea that kindness (as far as i understood it at least) could have led me into harm’s way, especially bc protecting myself feels so “cruel,” so maybe that’s not the narrative i have to accept. sometimes i feel like i’m slipping into old habits when i catch myself giving someone a second chance, or the benefit of the doubt, but it’s not the same now as it was before. kindness never led me into harm’s way, it was my lack of trust in myself. i don’t need to dial in my kindness, i just need to strengthen my trust. i need to practice informed kindness
#this sounds so obvious writing it out and i’m sure it’s smth most ppl innately understand#but i have a huge fear of becoming jaded and i thought self-improvement meant i would lose a part of myself#i only recently found out that other ppl have to choose to care. did everyone else know this. did you guys know that caring is a choice#learning this has explained. SO MUCH. abt the way ppl have treated and interacted w me#so i’ve had to force myself to care less abt things this yr and let me tell you it’s been a hellish learning curve lmao#i think for the best tho. i think being more discerning is helping me strengthen my self-trust#i don’t think anyone in my life can tell that anything’s changed either so that’s good. it means i haven’t lost anything#just gaining#danbles#autisms#ocd#edit: i don’t want to conflate caring w kindness btw that’s not what i meant#idk how to explain it actually writing this out made me tired. kindness comes from caring but caring can be cruel too#which is why i want to care less to be able to keep being kind#or smth like that. idk it’s 3am gn
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There's no better time to realize you're still claustrophobic than when you're being slid into the MRI machine :')
#hey did you guys know you aren't allowed to move at ALL (not even a little)#and it lasts 40 minutes?#and it's extremely loud?#and it can cause muscle spasms and shocks/pins and needles???#I'm proud to have lasted as long as i did but unfortunately I've been informed it's more of an all or nothing kind of deal ):#a very autism unfriendly procedure
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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck
#ingital#did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol#and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's#a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where#wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it#to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism#diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic#the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be#neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like#I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD#severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised#basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange#but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still#has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation#then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses#IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN#and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.
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it’s like actually so phenomenal to me that jack is somehow the best worst written character ever. like yes your honor he’s a plot convenience device mirror foil but it’s not his fault. my client was simply doomed by the narrative
#I don’t know how to continue this post#I’m tired and I think my excedrin is wearing off lol#spn#supernatural#jack kline#like yes officer he’s the best guy around but god his writing is so fucking bad I need to save him from it#I trust nobody with jack except for yockey and bobo and that other guy whose name is failing me#at least they tried. but did anyone else try? did anyone else care? nooopeeee!!!!!#spn meta#sort of#he’s literally doomed by the narrative in real life isn’t that so fucking sick#brought to you by my autism getting worse and also me having to call off my first day of my second job because god hates me
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i will single handedly keep the crimes of passion tag alive while book 3 is in the works with the help of my autism!
#did u guys know crimes of passion is my special interest#crimes of passion#playchoices#choices#choices cop#choices crimes of passion#crimes of passion 2#trystan x mc#choices game#trystan thorne#choices stories you play#i have so many fics in mind#one of them is halfway done#its gonna destroy you (i hope)#autism
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do u guys like her...
#twist rambles#having to write the id for this like. heres all the diseases.#sorry im like... ive been researching on and off all day and i truly do think i could fix her. pray fo rme that buyee shipping wouldnt be#too bad bc i want her soooo bad#bjd posting#and shes DIRT CHEAP. 1000 yen. like thats NUTS. they keep having to put the auction back up bc NO ONE will bid on this thang.#anyways. i am pretty confident now after all the research that... i could remove the face paint and resculpt her nose and then. paint it#again lmao. thankfully cordula (my resinsoul li/my VERY pink doll) has also had to have been full head painted so like... it shouldnt be to#bad? and w already having a body that SHOULD perfectly fit (given i can figure out the neck connector lol) i can just... paint her head to#match the body if i do go thru w it. i dont normally get like... this focused on what i assumed was an impulse purchase (havent bought her#yet) but i just... i keep thinking abt her like. i genuinely curse the autism object empathy bc every day ive been like checking the sales#page to see if it will truly be MY burden to bear.#anyways. i am making this post to get thoughts on her. do you guys see the cuteness hiding under the scaries.#if i DID get her it would be a massive liveblog adventure as i clean her up so. know that if you are invested in me deyuckifying beasts lol
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..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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