#did thom even know that??

[faneth]

blackwalls name was gordon???

[a-whiff-of-a-dream]

gonna be honest folks, the letter Blackwall sent to my dear Inqui in Veilguard makes me want to play Inquisition again

[housederiva]

Here's every version of the letter the Inquisitor gets from their LI plus Varric (which didn't make me cry at all)

If your Inky didn't romance anyone:

Inquisitor, Greetings from miserable, rainy Minrathous! (Don't tell Dorian I called it that.) The rotten weather here is making me nostalgic for Skyhold. The mountains were freezing, but at least the air didn't smell like wet garbage. We'll have to get in another game of Wicked Grace, soon. Harding picked up the trail again. I'd tell you not to worry, but I know how useless that is. Instead, I'll just say: I've got a great team on this. Neve could stare down the Maker, and wait until you meet Rook. He's/She's/They're a natural: Smart, resourceful, completely unpredictable. You'd like him/her/them, as long as you don't try to beat him/her/them at cards. Chuckles'll never know what hit him. I'll write again once we have something solid for you. Drinks at the Hanged Man are on me when this is over. Take care of yourself. Varric

Blackwall:

My love, You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side. Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations. Yours always, Thom

Cassandra:

My love, We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe. The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can. The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray. Yours, Cassandra

Cullen:

The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences chewed to read. I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible. I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you are all right. You are I've There's I wish I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life. The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my - I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this - Whatever you need of me, I am yours. Cullen

Dorian:

Amatus, I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear. I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you. I will find you soon. Yours, Dorian

Iron Bull

Hey, Kadan, Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!) I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian. Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to just be what I want to be. And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you. So come back safe. Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.

Josephine:

My Dearest Lord/Lady, I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all. The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together. There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here. When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes. Always yours, Josephine Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.

Sera:

(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.) Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.") - North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker. - Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know. - We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow. - So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls! - We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.) - Still thinking of you sideways. - Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.) - The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out. - Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me. - I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why. - Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.) - You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on. (The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.) New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)

Solas:

Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand. That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin... you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. I regret the pain I caused you. What I feel for you will never change. The note is unsigned, but the handwriting is Solas'.

[senseandaccountability]

the healer has the bloodiest hands

I wrote some thoughts after the finale of Veilguard. Solavellan heavy.

This is just me, parsing through some feelings. "My people had a saying long ago -'The healer has the bloodiest hands'. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better."  Solas to Thom Rainer in DAI.  ***

One can wonder, of course, what Mythal has to do with a Solavellan reunion and Solas’s choice to become the Veil’s protector, but hear me out. 

It is significant that it’s Mythal because she is the embodiment of his terrible past, the epitome of their brilliance and boldness and good intentions turned to terrible truths. The horrors they did, they did together. It is significant that it’s Mythal that sets him on this new course by removing the chains of his guilt and regret. Lavellan can’t do that, she didn’t forge them. Solas’s journey as the Dread Wolf begins and ends with Mythal. 

Mythal literally pulls Solas out of the Fade to use his wisdom, first to not lose herself to the other gods' vanity and brutality, then to gain advantage against them in an endless power struggle that breaks them both, I’d argue, though most significantly it breaks Solas. Retribution and revenge has no room for understanding, there is no wisdom in conquering. And Solas, for all his faults, isn’t brutal or cruel, doesn’t want power for his own gain. Instead he’s wise and creative, doomed to see the faults of his actions even as he carries them out, arguing in vain that the Evanuris too must see it - don’t cross these lines, don’t do it like this, don’t warp and twist your powers to forces of destruction. You must know this is madness! He objects to the creation of the bodies for the ancient elves, objects his own People’s physical creation. Did the earth not shake? It did, it was horrific and it was wrong and he knows this and it doesn’t matter. What he wants has never been part of the equation. 

Even when he breaks free from Mythal, when he burns her mark off his face, he never stops fighting for the world she once wanted. Because otherwise? Should he stop? Then all that he has done, all that he has given up, all that has been demanded of him both as Mythal’s lapdog and the Dread Wolf, leader of the rebel armies for centuries, cloaked in a persona of strategy and battle orders - all of that has been for nothing. He has made a ruin of himself, of the world, for nothing.  So he begins again, he picks up the pieces, he swears to make it right, to fix what he broke. That’s how he perceives healing, that’s what he thinks he is doing. But you cannot heal pain by hiding it. That’s why the Crossroads are falling apart with the manifestations of Solas’s greatest regrets, that’s why he needs Rook to escape his own prison, that’s why a Regret demon burns through Skyhold.

Solas traps the Evanuris as a final act of the ancient times, the creation of the Veil an embodiment of everything he and Mythal ever were - protection, benevolence, retribution, wisdom, pride. He ties it to the blood of the Firstborn out of spite and anger and it wrecks the world in ways he could not foresee. In ways he cannot fix because you cannot fix what has already happened.

You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. He holds himself like a broken thing in front of Mythal and you can see it as submissive or as a man finally letting his grief out. There, at long last, he stands beaten and bloodied and blighted and he cries for all that was lost, all that he did and all that was done to him, all the things he cannot, cannot undo. And then: a new way forward.

In willingly binding himself to the Veil he embodies the best of those old myths, the All-Mother and the Breaker of Chains, as he breaks the cycle of punishment and grief and protects the sun and the moon. This oath, as opposed to the oaths of the empire that made him, is not to someone but to everyone, to all the innocents of the world. Instead of being the one who makes the terrible sacrifices of other people - the things I have done - he becomes the protector of the world that his people broke once upon a time. Instead of being the Creator of a new world without the Veil - the god he vehemently does not want to be, that he arguably thinks nobody should be - he becomes a caretaker, a guardian. A healer with bloody hands. And yes, it takes Mythal to break Mythal’s hold over him. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. And this one goes deep.  But it’s Lavellan who brings him the light in this story. It’s Lavellan who breaks through the dark, transforms it into something hopeful. 

His prison construct in the Fade was terrible, an abyss of regret made to hold a god. An ancient punishment for ancient crimes but times change, people change, the People change for better and for worse and here Lavellan stands in all her mortal imperfection, offering him not a way to change the past - where all these ancient beings are stuck - but a way to mend the future. It will be a terrible place, he tells her, saying I am terrible because the Fade shifts around our beings. It won’t be terrible, Lavellan argues. Because I’m there with you, walking the dinan’shiral with you, all the way. He doesn't have to fix anything first, he doesn't have to change for her, he just needs to stop hurting the world, hurting himself. Because she loves him, despite all the terrible mistakes he has made. Because she knows all his names, from Dread Wolf to Vhenan, she knows the power of his mind and the fires of his love and she saw more than most of the man he is. The man he wants to be. For a little slice of time there in Skyhold he was that man, he was seen and he saw. He saw the world filtered through her and could forgive it, he saw her through his own ancient, tired eyes and he fell in love no matter how much he thought he did not deserve it. You don't have to deserve love, or mercy, it doesn't demand anything in return, holds you to no oath. It is a gift, freely given. That's what Lavellan offers him by holding out her hand there, at the edge of everything. That's where the light slips in.

She’s real, which means everyone is real and she changes everything, because she can.  Ar lasa mala revas. 

[amomentsescape]

Hey hey! You are so amazing and I love your work so much 💜💜💜

I need a bit of angst in my life so can I please request Thomas Hewitt x reader where they got into a heated argument and Thomas signs something he regrets. With tears in their eyes, reader storms out of the house and does not return for hours. How would he react? What would he be thinking when he sees the tears running down the cheeks of his partner? What would he think when they don’t come back after hours had passed?

What Should Have Been Said

Thomas Hewitt x Reader

Summary: After becoming worried about Reader's safety, Thomas says some things he doesn't mean.

Warnings: Angst, cussing

Word Count: 1,436

Part II

A/N: Thank you so much! Writing this was definitely pretty sad on my part. I hope you enjoy the angst!

It was just a big misunderstanding. But that's how these arguments normally started, right?

As someone who wasn't able to verbally communicate his thoughts and feelings well, things were inevitably going to become misconstrued at some point. But with the strong Texas heat burning through his skin like fire, everything seemed to be fueling his present frustrations.

He had told you earlier to stay inside while he tended to the outside chores. The sun was going to be unbearable that day, and with all the sharp tools lying around, he didn't want to risk you getting hurt.

So you listened to him for a while, letting him work alone. But after several hours of not seeing him, you became worried.

He hadn't even stopped in for a quick drink of water or an update to let you know he was okay.

You finally decided that sitting around and letting these worries stew wasn't benefitting anyone. So carefully, you got up, grabbed a glass of ice water, and slipped on some shoes, heading out into the blazing sun.

A quick trip around the house told you that he wasn't there which meant that he could only be in one other place: the shed.

You snuck in carefully and were immediately hit with the sound of metal banging against wood.

You were happy to see that he wasn't spending all of his time in the sun, but the shed almost felt worse than the outdoors did. There wasn't enough ventilation in here, making the temperature feel much hotter than you deemed safe.

You rounded the corner quickly, the glass of water in your hand already dripping from the condensation.

However, when you walked past the shelf, you didn't notice the meat hook poking out from the side.

It immediately caught your arm and cut through your skin with ease, causing you to drop the glass of water on instinct and hiss.

The shattering of glass cause Thomas to spin around quickly, a sharp butcher's knife being raised up on reflex in case he saw someone unwelcomed.

And in that moment, he would have much rather seen a lowly stranger in that shed than you hunched over with a small pool of blood beginning to form near your foot.

He immediately dropped the knife and rushed over, grabbing your arm gently but forcefully, looking at how bad the wound was.

"I'm okay, Thom-"

He quickly cut you off by picking you up, taking you straight back to the house.

The next few minutes were filled with an uncomfortable silence, him working hard at cleaning your wound and getting it wrapped up.

It wasn't like Thomas to act like this. His brows were furrowed and his touch was a bit rougher than normal.

In the past, a situation like this would have evoked a tender response from him, his whole being dedicating itself to doting on you and making sure you felt safe.

However, this time the air was filled with a feeling of uncomfortableness. His gaze hadn't even attempted to meet yours since he brought you inside from the shed.

The moment he finished patching you up, he was already heading for the door, not giving you a single ounce of acknowledgement.

This not only disappointed you, but it also ignited a slight irritation in your chest. You were just badly injured, and he didn't even seem to give a shit?

"Thomas," you said a bit more sternly than you intended.

He paused in the doorway, his head slightly tilting towards you in a way to show that he was listening.

You swallowed roughly. "You haven't said a single thing to me the past 30 minutes. What's wrong?"

He turned his head back to the floor, not giving you the reaction you were hoping for. The pain in your arm mixed with the uncomfortable feeling of sweat dripping down your body seemed to only fuel the anger that was beginning to build. Why was he ignoring you?

"Are you mad?" you tried.

The tone of your voice made it sound more accusatory than concerned, but you didn't really care in that moment. You were hurt both physically and emotionally at Thomas's nonchalance, and he deserved to know that.

He finally turned all the way to face you at this, the deep creases in his forehead revealing that something was definitely bothering him, and your questioning only seemed to provoke it more.

But with a quick response, Thomas signed, "I'm fine."

You almost scoffed at this.

"Well, that's good for you. But you haven't showed a single sign of caring towards me since I went to see you. What's going on?"

He just stood there breathing heavily.

That anger began to rise even more.

"Answer me."

He irritably began signing to you again, explaining that you shouldn't have gone outside when he explicitly told you not to.

You felt your face burn at how blunt he was being towards you. This wasn't like him; he never got this angry with you.

"I was worried," you started. You could already feel that familiar burn in your throat. "You were out there for hours, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"And I told you to stay inside," he signed.

He was deflecting, and this only seemed to piss you off more. You were there telling him how you were only wanting to look after him, and yet that seemed to make him angry at you? Why? What's so bad about looking out for your partner?

Your eyes were beginning to burn, and you could tell that this anger was beginning to evolve into anguish.

"I just wanted to take care of you!" you almost yelled.

And in an instant, Thomas was already signing back, "I don't need you."

And that's what did it.

The tears spilled over, and your were choking on your own sobs at this response.

One of the first things he ever said to you was that he needed you. Even before the love confession or the asking to be yours, he was telling you that all he would ever need in this life was you.

Seeing him say these words to you broke your heart more than any other rejection could have done.

With blurry eyes and a pained expression, you rushed out the back door, leaving Thomas standing there in confusion and utter shock.

By the time he gathered his bearings and ran after you, he was met with an empty yard, no sight of you within reach.

He crumbled to the ground at the revelation that you were gone. What had he done?

If only he could have expressed to you the truth behind his worries.

He told you to stay inside for your safety. He was angry not because of you, but because you got hurt. This was the most severe injury you had sustained while being with him, and that severity is what caused him to shut down so quickly.

Seeing all that blood and such a deep wound made him realize that anything could happen to you. He could lose you in an instant, and that revelation cause him to lock up.

He could never be angry at you, he was just terrified of losing you.

And he didn't mean what he said. God, he desperately needed you more than anything in his life. But he was willing to say just about anything to keep you safe in that moment. But his worried mind clouded over that fact that he was only pushing you away.

He couldn't get the image of your tear-stained face out of his mind. He had never seen you so broken before, and he certainly would have never wanted to be the reason you felt that way.

He continued to stay kneeled to that spot for minutes and then hours. He refused to move.

You were going to come back, you had to. He couldn't do this without you.

But once the sun began to set, and the moon shone it's light down on him, he felt nothing but despair.

What if something had happened to you? Should he have gone and searched for you despite not knowing which direction you went? Would you ever be able to find your way back to him if you changed your mind?

He fully collapsed to the ground at these worries. The dirt and dust below him turned to spots of mud as the moisture from his own tears collided with the soil.

He signed to whatever Gods had to be out there watching him, "please, come back."

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part vi

✧.* it seems you slowly but finally get your old self back, making lando insecure as your new found confidence catches the eyes of more than one driver.

✧.* boosting girlies confidence before we ruin it again, just a little filler. this is just a feel good part for girlie and some struggling for lando. This is a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 467,652 others

y/nusername live, laugh, love or something like that. ☀️

tagged: landonorris

view all 772 comments

julliettax I have to remind myself daily that I am in fact a straight married woman and that y/n is in fact a straight woman in a relationship and I'll never have a chance 🥵

simonsbat lando norris you lucky son of a bitch

patrishaaa y'all looking for a third?

norrizz 4th picture?!?! 😭

norry4 I know right?! Need someone to grab me like that (preferably lando but we've lost him) 😭

lan4lan well...they still together I see 🤮

milliewilde I hope lando can fight because my girl's been looking a little too good lately 😭

cecilemoulin you looking like a whole snack

hamilt44n GIRL DINNER GIRL DINNER

y/ncecile1 have you looked at yourself lately? 😍

charleeess16 crying at Pierre and Carlos creeping in her likes 😂

Hannahh we all know Pierre and Carlos are not liking this post because of lando..right? 💀

landonorris 😍😍

landoscar biggest simp on the grid

bott_ass if my girl looked like that..I would be the biggest simp too!

carlossainz55 🔥 🔥

carlandooo mans saw his ex getting her post red-bull glow up and remembered the good old days 😭

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y/nusername posted to their story

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mclaren

liked by landonorris, cecilemoulin and 199,762 others

mclaren front row locked in 🔒 P1 and P2 for the best team on the grid! 🧡

tagged: y/nusername, landonorris

view all 356 comments

mclarennorris oh we're so back!

charlos16 never ever did I think I'd see the day max verstappen gets out qualified let alone by his own teammate 😂

y/nluvv y/n had a shit ton of poles last season but red bull always fucked up her races..

landonorr now bring it back home pls

norrizz if y/n really loves lando, she'd let him have his first win tomorrow 😭

michael90 best team on the grid for sure!

hamilt44n getting y/n back on the team was definitely the right move! Lando doesn't have to carry the team on his back all by himself anymore.

maxfewtrell absolutely mental, those are my friends

fewtrelllando I saw your live stream, dude was about to cry happy tears 😂 sorry about your girlfriend not making it into q2 though 😔

maxmaxmax GIRLFRIEND?!

fewtrelllando yeah Cecile..still a rumor but they're together in my head lmfao..we out here being delulu on the main

thomasgoms absolute legends 🔥

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y/nusername

liked by pierregasly, milouberger and 462,751 others

y/nusername saturday nights 🌜

view all 713 commente

y/nbabeee celebrating that pole in style

norrizz just one chance that's all I'm asking 😭

mcnorrislando asking for attention much? 🤮

norry4 damn, girl can't even post normal pictures without getting shit on..I've got some advice, unfollow her..

jaden00 check your dms?

charles16 these desperate men in these comments are sending me 😂

landonorris damn girl, you come here often?

y/nusername leave me alone you freak, I've got a boyfriend.

lnfoour4 stfu lmfao y'all so dumb 😂

pierregasly 😍

bott_ass jesus christ no shame at all..

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y/nusername posted to their story

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife

Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @jjsprobablywrong @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10

[chefkids]

How is Carmy going to apologize to Sydney?

The poster is out and as I suspected they're giving us ✨nothing✨ But what we do know from this is that Syd is going to be face to face with Carmy as soon as that door opens. Quick recap of this post of how their day went and how it's going to go. The day started and ended with Sydney's dad telling her "I love you chef." Carmy thinking about Claire. And then Sydney appears, then she stares at the bear.

I think this is going to be a cold open. Literally. Cold. Carmy and Syd are either going to say literally nothing to each other, or Carmy will try to apologize.

We've seen Carmy apologize in quite a few ways. Carmy apologized for being shitty to Sydney about her dish. Syd lied and said it was good between them. And as we know from what happened later, it was in fact, not good at all. Carmy then apologized for his behavior on the phone. She wasn't sure if she wanted to accept his apology until he offered her a whole new restaurant exactly how she wanted it. Family Style. Two tops, booths.

Then, Carmy brought in the I'm sorry sign. Which should really just be called the shut the fuck up and let's not talk about things sign. He gave Syd a shitty text apology for ditching her at Kasama. Then gave her another weak apology with the I'm sorry sign later for not calling her.

He gave the world's most insincere forced apology to Claire for "accidentally" giving her a fake number. He tried to say I'm sorry to Claire when his head was all over the place and she just told him to Never ever apologize. (which jokes on her now because as we know Carmy is apparently avoiding calling her to apologize)

He apologized to Sydney with the sign when they were arguing about the menu and told her he doesn't want to be shitty. And her response was just Okay, so don't be.

Carmy apologized for not knowing about Sydney's mom being dead and she tried to get him to stop because she thought he was pitying her when really he just felt bad he didn't know something that big about her life. Then Carmy apologized for being absent and not giving Syd his full focus telling her I'm sorry, not Claire's fault, which didn't really change much until he really listened to her and reassured her that everything was going to be okay and that he was there for her. Also a Thom Browne jacket doesn't hurt.

He threw one last weak I'm sorry sign for freaking out at her during service right before he got locked up.

We know that in Carmy's family he has been taught to apologize by saying I love you even when it's toxic af. He was forced to say it to his brother and mom when he was mad at them.

The words I love you played a huge role in the finale. From the voicemail Claire left Carmy to his fight with Richie. I love you started off as an apology but it's also used as a slap in the face when Richie tells him "I fucking love you" after comparing him to Donna and Carmy tells him "You fucking need me."

Which is basically Syd & Carmy's entire dynamic if you think about it. He needs her. He could not have made it through that night or built that restaurant without her. She knows that. He knows that. We know he's re entering a toxic chef era and falling back into bad family habits and being compared to Donna. I love you is lingering in his mind in so many different ways. So if he slips up and says the fucking words and tells Sydney Don't quit. I'm sorry. I love you. because that's the only way he's felt like he's been forgiven in his family, and then Sydney throws back a No, you just need me or just ignores it all together and says Whatever, we're good. because she feels he is weaponizing those words; because she knows when she heard her dad say them to her that day they were truly sincere. And in true Marcus fashion he'll probably interrupt them and the cold open ends there.

Hearing Claire say I love you in that voicemail, him not saying it back but telling Sydney I love you to try and get her to stay.... If Claire finds out that he did that.... DRAMA. Either way Carmy has been undoubtedly scrambling trying to think of what the fuck he could possibly tell Syd to make things right after he told her you're not alone and then left her alone.

Sydney at this point does not have much of a choice regardless of how well he apologizes, because she can't just quit this time. Her dad is proud of her and she knows everyone else is relying on her to keep their jobs. And it's not the first time she would be accepting his apology even if things weren't actually good between them. He's going to have to actually work for this apology and make things up to her in the long run. Because if Carmy doesn't want to be shitty he has to simply show that he's not shitty, not just say it or give her a gift.

[dragonagecompanions]

DAI Companions reactions to repeatedly being mistaken for a young/teen Inquisitor's parent or older sibling.

Cassandra: At times it feels like she is, and yet it is never something the seeker begrudges. This young person has stepped into a role no one their age should have to fulfill, and with so many relying on them to save the world at least one person should be standing in the role of guardian and protector of their interests. She only wishes it could be her sole priority.

And if, in quiet moments, to have a sibling again is a balm then it a truth no one else need know.

Varric: He was a lousy brother, though is was not as if Bertrand was winning any awards either. But he never really understood the pressures his older brother was under until stepping into part of that role— and Varric never had the strain of ailing mother or the loss of Orzammar on his shoulders. No, he is not sibling material.

But no father could be prouder of a child than he is, watching their young leader stitch the world back together. Kid needs looking after, and Varric Tethras is honored in the burden.

Solas: If the Inquisitor is elven, no matter his plans for the future, the rift mage feels a sort of obligatory kinship to the da’len so far from clan or kin. Children have always been precious, especially to the Elvhen who did not conceive so easily as humans.

For any other inquisitor he does not correct those who make the mistake, and will turn it into a familiar joke later that the herald must be the most attractive of thei species to be mistaken for an elf. It hides how little he cares for the comparison.

Kin slaying is a terrible crime. Best not to build the relationship from the start.

Blackwall: In another life Thom Rainier had scorend the idea of children, and taken pains to ensure that his dalliances would not conceive a bastard he had no intention of claiming. Now his family name is hardly worth the claiming, and he is grateful his only sister took her husband’s name long ago and is free of his legacy.

But as a warden, true or otherwise, Blackwall is honored by such a comparison. If his presence has had any small benefit to the young person upon whom such a task is laid then he is honored by the comparison. And while he would be the first to argue that no one is better off in his care or keeping, Blackwall would be the first to lay down his life to protect theirs, and will do everything he can to make sure they are well.

Vivienne: For the sake of his grown children- and the wife who had done her duty in the bearing- Bastian could not have given her a child. Even if he could have protected it from the clawing hands of the Circle, whose laws had forbidden such a gift. To be a mother was not in her future, and in her youth Vivienne had taken steps to ensure such an accidental fate could never befall her.

But she could have been. In the quiet moments through out the years she had imagined how such a child might grow, might flourish under the love and guidance of two parents who so deeply wanted it. And while the Inquisitor is neither replacement nor surrogate for that dream, in this young person Madame de Fer can see a reflection of what might have been.

If she takes care to guard their appearance, coach their behavior and prepare them as best she can for the great game, it is easily couched in the truth that it benefits the Inquisition to do so. The truth of her affection is hidden away, no further burden on shoulders already heavy with titles and too few years.

But she can dream.

Sera: When she does think about her childhood, the few times it has to be examined, Sera would not have minded another small person to have run about with. It might have made the lessons and the lies less lonely, to know someone else was there to ride through it with.

But there wasn’t. And she didn’t. And she likes the Inquisitor, is happy to have them as both friend and Friend. But family is a sore spot in the tapestry of her life, and adding patches to warped thread does not fix the faulty loom.

Dorian: It is the worst nightmare of most high born alti, that one’s parents might conceive a second child to rival them for the familiar seat in the magisterium. Never a risk for Halward and Aquinea, whose duties to each other and the marriage bed ended w it the birth of a living and magically inclined son.

And yet Dorian would not have minded a younger Pavus knocking about when he had been a boy, someone to share the duties and adventures of Minrathious in those few years before duty locked away simpler pleasures. But when he is first mistaken for the Inquisitor’s father, first mistakenly assigned that guardianship and all it brings?

It staggers him, how deeply the role could fit. For all that their creation is anathema to them, Dorian Pavus would never scorn a child of his blood. Of any blood, in truth. If their herald is young enough and without guardianship, without a future once Corypheus is defeated…

It is a thought for later.

The Iron Bull: Where is the lie? Was he any less worthy of the imereki than those who had left them behind? The feelings that well up when the mistaken role is given do not surprise him, and Bull is perhaps the easiest of any besides Cassandra with taking on that burden. The Chargers are his family, and if they survive the Storm Coast the little Herald is gathered up into that fold without question.

And even with one eye he can see the second Dorian accepts and even relishes the idea. The Iron Bull didn’t come South looking for a family, but one may well be within his grasp regardless.

Cole: “Shared name, shared memories, tied together by all the things that matter. Even when we don’t agree there is still love and trust, striving for something greater than we are. Yes! We are a family. That makes sense.”

Mod Fereldone

[sebstanaddict]

Dressing Up

Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader Story

A/N : Seb's look in that Thom Browne suit earlier this week made me want to write something with that look in mind. So, based on one of your requests, here it is. Hope you guys enjoy it :)

Summary: Bucky and Y/n are both Avengers on an undercover mission to infiltrate a gala hosted by Countess Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. Bucky was not used to wearing a formal suit and so Y/n helps him get ready. But their closeness during the preparation lead to something more.

Pairings : Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader

Warning : none I think, let me know if you find any

Word count : 1.3k words

Read more Bucky one shots here

---

Dressing Up

Bucky stood in the suite of the five star hotel, adjusting the position of the waistband of his black trousers as he glanced nervously at the formal three-piece suit hanging nearby. He wasn’t used to this kind of thing—suits, ties, dressing up for high-society events. He was much more comfortable in tactical gear or his leather jackets, ready for action. But tonight, appearances mattered. They had a mission to infiltrate a gala hosted by Countess Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, and the evening called for sophistication, not combat gear.

Just then, Y/n stepped into the room, and his breath caught. She wore a sleek black dress that hugged her in all the right places, accentuating her curves and radiating an elegance that left him speechless. He’d always admired her confidence on the field, but seeing her like this—composed, graceful, and utterly captivating—did something to him he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Oh… wow,” he managed to say, his voice nearly a whisper. She smiled, clearly catching his reaction, a blush tinting her cheeks. 

"Thanks. You’re looking a bit unprepared, though," she teased, glancing at his half-dressed state, he was only wearing the black trousers and white undershirt. 

“Come on, let’s get you into this suit,” she added with a playful smirk, holding up the white dress shirt she’d picked out for him. “Arms up.”

Bucky chuckled, holding up his vibranium arm slightly. “Just might need a little extra help getting this in."

She nodded, feeling a flicker of nervousness as she stepped close to him. Sliding his flesh hand through the sleeve was effortless, but guiding the vibranium arm was another story. The shirt clung stubbornly to the plates and ridges of the arm, and it took a couple of tries for her to adjust the fabric and ease the sleeve up over the hard, cool vibranium.

“Almost got it…” she murmured, concentrating as she gave the sleeve one last gentle tug, and finally, it slipped into place.

Bucky let out a relieved sigh. “You’ve got the touch,” he said with a soft grin, glancing down at her. She caught his eyes for a second longer than she meant to, suddenly hyper-aware of the space—or lack thereof—between them.

Trying to steady herself, she focused on buttoning his shirt, her fingers brushing his chest as she moved down, fastening each button slowly. The warmth of his skin contrasted with the coolness of the vibranium, and she found herself acutely aware of the solid muscle beneath her hands.

She bit her lip, willing herself to focus, but each button she fastened only brought her closer to him, her fingers brushing against his collarbone, his chest. Her cheeks flushed, and she tried not to think about the warmth radiating from him or the way he looked at her with those intense blue eyes.

“You know,” she said, trying to maintain her composure, “this shirt is almost too good for you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Almost?”

Her heart skipped at his playful tone, and she shot him a coy smile. “Alright, more than good,” she admitted, her voice softening. “Perfect, actually.”

He smiled as he heard her. “Glad to know that.” 

After fastening the last button, she helped him tuck the shirt into the waistband of his trousers, their hands brushed as she worked and she felt a tingling sensation as they touched. She paused for a moment, looking up at him and noticed his cheeks were pink and she stepped back.

“Umm.. I think you can handle it yourself.” She murmured, feeling her cheeks warm.

He cleared his throat and started adjusting the shirt himself. “Yeah..”

Once he was done she turned and reached for the black cashmere vest sliding it over his shoulders and smoothing the fabric across his chest. Her fingers moved down his torso as she fastened each button, her pulse racing as she took in how effortlessly the suit framed his figure. The warmth of his body seeped through the fabric, making her hands tremble slightly. She swallowed, glancing up to find his gaze on her, his eyes darker than usual, and the intensity made her breath catch.

“Now for the tie,” she murmured, picking up the silk tie she’d chosen, a black one. She looped it around his neck, and as she leaned closer, their faces were just inches apart. She could feel his breath warm against her skin, the faint scent of mint teasing her senses. Her hands shook as she tightened the knot, and she forced herself to focus on the silk in her hands instead of the temptation to simply close the distance between them.

She managed to steady her breathing, but the moment her hands brushed his neck as she tightened the tie, he leaned in a fraction closer, a smirk pulling at his lips. “You’re pretty good at this,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly.

She caught herself staring at his mouth for a moment, her cheeks burning. “Guess I’m just a fan of a man in a suit,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Her gaze drifted over his face, down the sharp line of his jaw, and she could feel her resolve weakening with every second.

After a heartbeat, she stepped back slightly, needing the distance to regain some composure, but her eyes lingered on the dresser where a bottle of cologne sat. She picked it up without thinking, holding it out to him. “One last touch. Just… a little cologne,” she murmured, almost nervous.

Bucky smiled, taking the bottle, his eyes never leaving hers as he sprayed a bit onto his wrists and neck. The smoky cedarwood scent filled the air, mixing with the warmth of his skin, and it was almost intoxicating. She felt herself getting lost in it, the scent wrapping around her and drawing her closer to him. Her heart raced, her mind spinning with thoughts she usually kept buried.

“You, uh… smell good,” she managed, feeling her cheeks grow hotter. He smiled softly, his expression turning serious as he took a step closer, his gaze trailing over her from head to toe.

“So do you,” he murmured, his voice filled with something deep and unguarded. His gaze traveled over the curve of her waist, the way her dress hugged her body, and he swallowed. “You look… stunning, Y/n.”

Her heart skipped, and she felt a warmth flood through her at the way he said her name. She was used to his protectiveness, his strength, but this side of him—the vulnerable softness in his voice, the admiration in his eyes—felt different. It stirred something inside her, something she hadn’t allowed herself to feel before. And suddenly, the mission was the last thing on her mind.

He stepped closer, just a whisper between them now, his eyes searching hers. “You know,” he began, his voice soft, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I admire you.”

Her breath caught as his hand brushed against hers, and she felt a thrill she couldn’t ignore. His gaze dropped to her lips, and for a moment, she thought he might close the distance.

Instead, he pulled back slightly, his voice lower, almost hesitant. “Maybe after this… we could go out sometime?” He looked at her with a cautious, hopeful expression, and she felt a rush of warmth at his vulnerability, at the fact that he was letting her in.

A smile broke across her face, and she nodded, her voice soft but sure. “I’d like that.”

The electricity in the air felt almost tangible as they lingered, each savoring the moment, until finally, she tore her gaze away with a gentle laugh. “Come on, Soldier. We’ve got a mission to get to.”

He chuckled, looking a little more confident as he slipped into his jacket. “Right. But just know,” he added with a wink, “I’m already looking forward to our date.”

She laughed, the sound carrying a lightness that hadn’t been there before, and as they headed out the door, they both knew something had changed. Beyond the mission, beyond the gala—they had something to look forward to.

[cullenssweatyballsakk]

Bro I'm still sick of these tired ass redditors and they weak ass arguments against Cullen. They keep regurgitating these same tired talking points about how he's so racist and weird and it's just UGH.

I was literally talking to one on Reddit the other day, I got downvoted after I disproved their shitty argument.

Apparently, to them, having severe PTSD is not an excuse to be, y'know, TRAUMATIZED, and his distrust and hatred of mages was uncalled for and weird. Ok bro

They say that he killed 3 apprentices, which wasn't even confirmed and was only implied before it was later retconned and confirmed to be a rumor. They use this all the time to say he's a bad person and should be 'held accountable'.

One person even said he was racist towards elves, and everyone up voted them as if it was true, lmfao. No where in the series has he ever been shown to be racist towards elves, and atp they just talking out they ass.

And out of all, my least favorite 'talking point' with these people is when they say he's a pervert/rapist. This point is so tired, just not true, and downright WEIRD. they see that Cullen had a crush on Amell/Surana, and they fucking ran with it.

Somehow, having a crush on someone is now creepy. He was literally 19, and teenagers have wack hormones. (I would know, I am one.) He was respectful the entire time, albeit awkward. When you proposition him, he literally runs away.

They got the 'rapist' thing from some writer who gave their two cents about Cullen's character, and how THEY thought he MIGHT act, even though this person has nothing to do with his actual writing.

And to make it worse, these people have a weird obsession with making him 'pay' for his transgressions, as if he already isnt repentive enough, and tbh, he didn't do anything too wild. He was following orders, and from what we saw in DA2, never did anything outrageous.

Someone even said they thought the Inquisitor should have the option to have Cullen executed, which is total BULLSHIT.

Most of these talking points came from someone I was talking to on Reddit, and they were literally a Blackwall romancer. Blackwall. Thom Rainier. The nigga that actually ordered and partook in the murder of an entire family. Kids included.

Then proceeded to run away and hide from his crimes by pretending to be a Grey Warden. If the Inquisitor steps in, there's a chance he literally never gets what's coming to him, and can be let off the hook. 😐.

I swear, some of these people are actually 🧠 💀. These redditors are literally full of shit.

@bibliomoth

@kathartic-kat

@sweetjulieapples

(mentions because of the comments y'all sent earlier)

[shaywrites-ifs]

Demo // KOFI // 18+ Interactive Fiction

Last Update: June 9, 2024

You are the second child to Fabian Avis Mavar, the Left Hand to the Emperor. You were raised with privilege, with prestige, and with high expectations placed upon you. At least, that is how it should have been. Instead, you were born Marked- to have stars in your eyes and to be be blessed as a magical prodigy. If only the Mark didn't also leave you in constant frail health, a body that only survived because your father had the means and will to demand it.

For all you were loved- surely you had to be, for father to go to such efforts to save you, yes?- you were the one left out. You had strived to succeed, to stand in your own accomplishments. To play the court games, to claw and take what you deserved no matter how life kept fighting you.

For it did, at every turn.

You lost everything to the traitors, who killed your father, your elder brother, your beloved- they took your title, the crown, the empire. They took what you were.

After a particularly devastating attack, whatever they did, it changed you. And when your body finally healed enough to wake up, finally was good enough to move again- you realized it had been a thousand years. Still, you will survive- especially as you catch wind that you still have a chance at revenge.

High Fantasy Interactive Fiction Novel where you play as (what used to be) an elf with strong magical talents

Customize a semi-set MC, able to pick some personality traits, gender, appearance, and some favorites

Customization also effects MC's fraternal twin brother

Deal with the consequences of all that magical tampering, and maybe becoming a better person, maybe becoming a worse one

Romance some folks, possible additional romance options and polyamory relationships being considered

Maybe help your twin find romance, too

Story will primarily be choice based than stat based, and will be free to play when finished- any early releases or side content would not be

** in getting my shit wrecked and then sorted through 2023, there is a high chance these characters, and the romance options in general, are subject to change as I plan the game**

Camille of Louvel, the Vainglorious she/her, cis, human - she's talented enough of a swordsman to stand against your twin, who had once been considered the best swordsman in the Empire. Confident and professional to the point of being cold-hearted, she wears her armor like second skin. Unfortunately, she finds you more concerning than alluring.

Eiden, The Rejected he/they, trans, elf - devil may care and hedonistic, he is quite detached from the world. Unrushed, unworried, they flit through the world more as an observer than anything else, more dangerous than they seem. He's old, but you bring something new. Something that has him alert, again.

Dalmar Calix Thom Fausteus, The Shattered he/him, cis, human - once an esteemed gentleman, only child to a family of scholars, he grew up with many opportunities. However, his family was used and he himself betrayed by a friend, changed in more than one way. He's a focused individual, with workaholic tendencies and withdrawn. He's not looking for a friend, but a means to an end.

Vasil, The Forgotten they/them/it, entity- you know them. You knew them, at least. Not in any deep way. Not in any way that means anything. Except, you made a deal. And now, there are consequences.

Previous ROs, tentatively being cut

Leja Ushe, The Moonglade she/her, cis, elotian - unlike many of her kind, she has stayed to help. Attuned to the nature around her, and able to commune with the Spirits, she has more knowledge and answers than most could dream of. Charming, even a bit playful, she keeps her cards close to her chest, but has never let that stop her from showing kindness. She has become a safehaven for many, and perhaps, can be more for you.

Reimer 'Rei' Ara, The Steadfast he/him, cis, elotian - larger than life, considered sunshine in physical form, he meanders through the forests as a helpful, genial caretaker. A man of actions, he hides his worries behind smiles and continues to do what he can to support the forest and Leja. He is very excited to meet you, if not at least marginally confused over your problems, and eager to ease your burdens.

Vasil, The Forgotten they/them, entity- you know them. You knew them, at least. Not in any deep way. Not in any way that means anything. Except, you made a deal. And now, there are consequences.

*All of this is open to adjustment, changes, and fixes as this project is a work in progress

[totothewolff]

Season of Love (6/?)

+18 | Toto x reader fem!teamprincipal, romance, comedy, and some good drama.

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are.

< Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

Dances with Wolff Arc Chapter 6: Collision at Turn "Your Heart"

UK

Sam and Toto go to the Soft Serve Society in London the following day to have milkshakes. They share a sizeable Instagram-able shake, asking for two straws instead of one. 

The place is intimate and small, perfect for chatting. Its location in a trendy neighborhood gives Sam the ideal excuse to pull that Thom Browne boyish suit out of her suitcase.

As Sam is asking for two matcha cookies to complement their order, she notices Toto smiling like an idiot at his iPhone screen.

—Wow, that time you two spent apart did wonders for your relationship. I thought it was a "cease and desist" situation, as if there wouldn't be a turning point, but I haven't seen you like this in a long time.

—How? —Toto moves his gaze to Sam, a bit perplexed.

—Stupidly in love. So you two are genuinely back?

—Oh, that... well, we are trying this open relationship thing. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about it.

Sam gives him a judgy look, her eyebrows slightly frowning. —Let me guess. Susie suggested it; you said no, then she pressured you, and you followed along. There is no need to explain further; I get it.

Toto shrugs and barely nods his head.

—It's always what Susie wants, isn't it? You are so blind sometimes —she sounds now annoyed.

—I thought you, of all people, would get it. You see love differently than in the traditional way. Preferences aside, you are more free regarding feelings and partners.

—Yes, yet I'm not into playing with other people's feelings. 

—I'm not being played or playing with her feelings.

—To which one of the two hers are you referring?

A silence.

It's the first time Sam addresses the elephant in the room. 

—Listen, I don't want to overstep, and God knows I don't want to get in the middle; I love you both; yes, I said that, and stop smiling like that, but for fuck sake, you two need to communicate and talk! LIKE TALK! I know it's not my place, and I have tried to remain as neutral as possible, but I genuinely care about Y/N; there's more you need to know about each other because this thing is going to blow in your faces the worst way.

—What's on this? Is this really happening? You telling me how you are feeling? —Toto picks up the shake to smell it, making a funny face and trying to lighten the mood. He also avoids giving Sam an answer but pays attention to her every word.

—Oh, fuck off —Sam pushes him a bit roughly.

—Sugar sure is a drug! —Toto's holding a laugh.

-

—How did your day out with Toto go?

—How do you know we went out? Stalker!

In response, you give Sam an exaggerated insulted expression (hand over your chest and open wide mouth). —He texted me when you two were at the ice cream place! He even sent me these pictures! —you show her the conversation. —By the way, that outfit of yours is CUTE!

—Oh! It was you then —she says quickly and softly.

—Sorry? —you look at Sam as if another head grew from her neck.

—Oh, nothing. Toto didn't mention anything. He was just smiling like an idiot and giggling like a teenager, looking all in love at his phone screen.

—All what? Sam, what you said?! —you feel your heart in your throat.

—Did you follow my advice? —she cuts your shenanigans.

—I tried to follow it and address our "situation," but he rushed to get wine. He ran from the conversation, and I didn't feel like having it much, either. I knew how it was going to end.

—Well, keep pushing, trust me.

—Is there something I should worry about? —you suddenly stop and look straight at her.

—It's not my place to tell —Sam answers neutrally.

Then you two board your jet with directions home, your new home, Monaco. 

Now, thanks to Sam's words, an eerie sentiment fills your head. Is she trying to warn you something?

-

It's a quiet flight; well, if it wasn't for Samanta's snoring, not even an English Bulldog snores that loud. 

Which makes you laugh hard; you have forgotten how terrible Sam sleeps. 

It's been a while since you two slept nearby, which was the most common thing for all those years you lived at the Manor.

You have always been very much like sisters.

You take out your phone and start recording a video of Sam sound asleep with T-rex arms, open mouth, and loudly snoring, all weirdly placed on the comfy, big seat next to you.

-

Monaco

Why, every time you land in Monaco, your mind is in desperate need of a Toto detox?

-

As soon as you are in the car ride home, you hit the send button on the "Get a grip, loca🏎!" group chat.

After you share the video of Sam sleeping, a long list of replies and reactions appear in the group.

She threatens to murder you in your sleep.

-

Two nights after being back, when Charles enters the apartment wearing the world's most oversized outfit while trying to juggle four bottles of wine - one held under his chin - and a big fancy grocery bag while avoiding stepping on "Robbie" - your Roomba robot - you feel so at home; this couldn't be a more domestic scene for you two before you rush to help him.

Never mind, too late! Now, the kitchen floor looks like a crime scene. 

God, how much you missed him! Keeping your friendship while hiding it from the rest of the Scuderia has been difficult. 

Ferrari is a hermetic group that likes it that way; being extra friendly with the enemy could cost Charles' head, thanks to Binotto's paranoia.

—FUCK! FUCK AND FUCK! —he lets out, looking at the now red floor, followed by various French cursings coming out of that pouty mouth. 

—At least the other three survived —you hear Sam say, entering behind him and holding two more bottles and a cake.

—Several bottles of wine and lots of food. This is an intervention for me, isn't it? —you ask, looking at them suspiciously.

Both of them energetically nod.

—We need to talk about Bruno —Charles jokes; he obviously means Toto while grabbing the paper towel on the kitchen counter to try cleaning his mess, which is as useless as you expected.

—Damn —is all you let out.

At some point, Charles gives up and prefers leaving a fat tip and a Post-it for Rosita when she comes clean tomorrow morning.

-

—Hi, I have a quick question: How much do you weigh?

A text from Toto comes in the early hours of the day as you are about to hit the treadmill in your luxurious building's training center. You rushed down there, unable to sleep a second more.

After the intervention, you comprehend lots of things need to change.

—(Y/N's weight), why? —you reply. 

It's still dark outside.

Only you and three others are alone in the enormous gym section, which feels quiet and isolated, perfect for decompressing. 

Apparently, when Toto and you are apart, you are both early birds. It's always a snooze fest when you two are tangled in sheets. Probably, it's because he makes the world's most fabulous pillow or because he loves having you wrapped in his arms.

Judging by his text's unusual hours, he may be overthinking it too. Lately, you have felt driven to exercise earlier in the morning as well to avoid losing your sanity.

A couple of minutes later, a video of Toto adjusting the weight of his barbells to your weight before doing a couple of hip thrusts comes as a reply.

You watch the video a couple of times, okay, several times, before hitting the reply button. —I can help you do some repetitions if you want; I know a very effective routine! My trainer also advised me I needed more cardio —you tease him, feeling a tingle down there, hehe. 

Fuck! You are falling for it again, and you just swore to Sam and Charles that there would be no Toto during this break!

As Toto reads your text, a pleased smirk forms on his lips, and then he exhales and returns to exercise. 

He shouldn't be feeling this desperate for your attention. It has been only the first week without seeing you.

The way you have turned his life upside down is unimaginable.

-

—Your girl is in town! —Normani sends a selfie of herself in the group chat, throwing a pose on the Monaco pier, looking flawless and stylish in a two-piece Casablanca outfit (an orange thee with colorful stripes and shorty shorts and pulling the coolest glasses) while blowing a kiss. —Let's hang out tonight!😈😈

—OH, I KNOW JUST THE PLACE —Lando writes back.

—Italy.

Several "???" appear.

—I'm in Italy —Seb clarifies.

Now, it makes sense.

—Someone needs to help Seb with this, really —George says.

—Let's take him to one of those free classes at the Apple store, you know, with the senior citizens —Checo jokes. —I'm with Carola's parents and the kids in Guadalajara, so we are out of the fun this time.

—Tell Carola I love her —you request Checo.

—I will, thx.

—I don't wish for an apple, thank you —Seb replies.

—Dear God —Lewis texts.

—Jk! Jk! I'm not that inept, and I'm not yet a senior citizen, but soon, 2032 let's go! —Seb exits the conversation.

—Lando, send the location —Lewis texts. —That's great to know, Seb. I'm already saving for our turbo wheelchairs to challenge you in races at the retirement home.

—There, see you guys at 1 a.m.

—I want to live enough to witness that, Lewis —Mick enters the conversation.

—This club looks like a shithole! I don't wish for my organs to get stolen —Charles points out after looking for the place on Google Maps; it's only a run-down facade photo of the place in a not-that-neat street.

—Trust me, you are going to love it —Lando comments.

—Is it private? —Lewis asks. —Cause last time we went out in London, getting us out of there was a nightmare.

—That's precisely why I'm suggesting this place!

—Spain.

—I'm in Spain —Carlos texts, mocking Seb. —Have fun without me, guys, even though I don't think you can. Send pictures. I miss you, my friends.

—Te extraño, too🙇‍♀️ —you reply, Carlos, you have become fond of him.

—🥰🥰 —Carlos sends.

—I'm liking this sketchy, mysterious place already —Sam joins in.

—Sam, is Millie still in town? —you ask her, you met Millie for brunch two days ago.

—No, I already left 😭😭😭. Mick invited me to hike in Patagonia—a photo of them out in nature follows her text. 

—Okay, the ones who are going, please send a hands-up emoji; I'm booking the table —Lando texts.

-

You make your way through the winding streets of Monaco on Charles' bike at full speed; you are sure you flashed at least four people with that party mini dress you are wearing as you head to the mysterious nightclub. 

As soon as you park, you agree with Charles that it looks like a sketchy part of town, but the faint sound of pulsing music and the flickering lights emanating from a door down a narrow corridor between two buildings right in front of you quickly distract you and guides you in.

Soon, as you enter and go down the long stairs, you are immediately enveloped in a world of luxury "decadence." 

The atmosphere is electric, and the air is heavy with the scent of exotic perfumes. 

—It smells like good sex —is what Lando tells you as he greets you, looking at your two "trying to discover the scent" faces.

The walls are decorated with striking artwork, each more provocative and daring than the last.

For sure, this place is the stage for many wild escapades.

As almost everyone gets there, the group is drawn to the center of the club, near where the main stage, lit up with swirling lights and seductive, almost naked dancers. 

Your table in the VIP area "it has the best location in the place", again, according to Lando.

As you sit next to Nomani, who gave you the world's greatest greeting hug, you get mesmerized by the hypnotic rhythm of the music and the dancers' graceful motions. 

You get transfixed, unable to tear your eyes away from them. Gorgeous he/she/they are on the stage.

—Beer, gin, what are we drinking? —Normani asks you.

—Tequila —you answer too quickly for her and Sam's amusement.

—Tequila, it is! —she says loudly and makes a little dance, shaking the girls around. The more than happy waiter witnesses it before getting the bottle.

You pour everyone a shot to start the night. Lewis just arrived, and George is running late as usual.

—Can you smell it? —you ask everyone.

A couple of "What?" come along.

—The regret —you joke as you all take the shot.

The group then goes full party core, joining the pulsating dance floor and losing themselves in the music. 

Laughter and shouts fill the air as the exotic dancers approach you and the crowd to exchange some sensual moves.

Amidst the chaos and allure of the night, Toto arrives. Unexpectedly.

Charles and Sam instantly look at you, almost throwing you darts.

—I swear to God I didn't invite him!

George did.

-

As alcohol skyrockets Lando, he starts doing push-ups for you in the middle of the dance floor as a techno-dub mix of Olivia Newton John's and Dua Lipa's "Physical" starts playing while he looks straight at you.

—Is that supposed to impress me? —you raise an eyebrow, cross your arms, and lean on Lewis, who is also witnessing the action.

—Is it working?

—Never stop believing in your dreams —you laugh it off, and Toto playfully rolls his eyes at him, then winks at you.

"Oh, God, I'm weak! I'm not going to resist the temptation."

—The dancer with the jockstrap hasn't taken his eyes off you the entire night —Toto points out for Normani, gesturing to which one he refers.

Normani makes a "definitely wouldn't mind" expression. —Too bad I don't do one-night stands —she confesses.

—Like ever? —Lewis looks at her like she is from Mars.

—Hopeless romantic right here! —Normi answers. —I like to party, but I'm so old-fashioned. Thanks, Mom!

—What a classy lady, indeed! —George says.

—It's my Britishness britishing —she jokes. —I want a husband, a big house in the countryside, horses and babies, you know, the traditional.

—Like, literally, this is the worst place to discuss family! —Sam warns them with a "Don't kill the mood, guys" look.

—The worst! —you all burst out laughing.

—I'm not sure if she is messing with us or..? —Lando comes closer to saying to Charles.

—No, really! It's my biggest wish. I can't wait to be a mom! —Normani lets out. 

—But you are so young! —everyone looks so shocked at her. Quite the revelation!

—I KNOW, but I want four! So, I better hurry up.

—FOUR?!! —everyone kind of screams in response.

Normani looks at them with a big smile, happy with the chaos her confession is causing.

—I get you, girl. I do love one myself; I have wanted to be a mom for years now. I feel I'm close to adopting one, but I need to do something with my schedule first. It would be impossible with a baby!

Toto listens to your conversation, very quiet and still, looking as if something inside him broke.

-

—Hey, I want to talk to you privately. I have something important to tell you; it's been on my mind for a while —Toto approaches you to whisper in your ear.

—Oh, sure, yeah ���you agree to. "Okay, breathe, the moment it's coming."

When you reach a quiet spot to talk without all the people buzzing around, the loud background noises, and the almost butt-naked performers, you two remain there in an awkward silence for a minute.

Toto looks like he wants to say something but doesn't, so you break the ice first, feeling your hands shaking a bit.

—So what do you want to tell me that's so important?

He looks straight at you and takes two steps to close the distance between you. —Ahem, so... so what are you planning for... for the off-season? —he takes you off guard.

"Okay, this is not what I was expecting."

—I... I don't know... yet.

—Maybe we could spend it together. I know a private island that would be perfect —Toto offers you, totally improvising.

—Oh, I see...

—I mean... if you want to.

—No, no, of course, I want to!

—Perfect, then —he says, his voice deep. Toto then takes your hand, and you're surprised by the warmth from his touch.

"Coward" "Selfish" is all Toto thinks for himself. "But I don't want to lose her. I need her just a bit more. I don't know how to quit her."

—What do you say if we continue this conversation somewhere even more private? —Toto invites you, his intense dark eyes piercing right through you. 

Before you have time to respond, he takes your hand and leads you toward the exit at the back of the place and into his car.

Soon, you arrive at his luxurious penthouse, abandoning almost all of your party clothes in the process. 

You glance around the dimly lit living room, admiring its opulence. The walls are decorated with fine art, and the scent of wealth lingers in every corner.

Toto, already bare-chested, removes the rest of his clothes, revealing himself. You can't help but stare at his toned abs, defined muscles, and delicious dick. 

He smirks, noticing your admiration, and pushes you closer to the sofa. It creaks softly under your weight as he sits you down, eyes locked onto each other.

—You're stunning —Toto says while tracing his fingers down your body as you remove your last piece of clothing.

Your pulse quickens at his touch, and you move in, pressing your lips hard against his.

Toto's tongue sneaks its way between your parted lips as he pulls your naked body close to his. You moan softly.

Slowly, he leans back onto the plush pillows, taking you with him. Your bodies intertwine in a passionate embrace, enjoying the heat from his broad chest into you as you run your hands all over him, feeling every inch of Toto pressing against your core.

He grabs you by the hips, grinding you against him forcefully, causing an excited whimper to escape your lips. You can't help but crave his every single inch.

Sliding yourself lower, you feel him harden beneath you. —Fuck, you're so hard —you whisper into his ear as you stroke his length up and down. 

Toto flips you onto your back, not letting you control the show yet, spreading your legs wide. He effortlessly glides both of his hands beneath your ass, lifting you up like you weigh nothing.

His left-hand squeezes your ass cheek possessively while his right supports your lower back. Then Toto lowers his mouth to your inner thigh, his tongue trailing a path of wetness up to your core, where he tastes you. 

You gasp, your breath hitching whenever his tongue flicks your clit.

Plunging his tongue deep inside you, he tastes the sweetness of your essence. Moving back up to your clit, he sucks hard, provoking you to tremble under the pleasure.

Your fingers entangle his thick hair, tugging and pushing as waves of delight roll over your body. 

Toto stares at your swollen clit and massages it gently, building an almost unbearable tension in the pit of your stomach before he slides first one finger, then two inside of you, feeling you tighten around them as he moves them in deliberate circles.

—What the fuck, you feel incredible —he mumbles against your folds. He increases his pace, sucking harder, flicking faster until you are shuddering against him, gasping for breath, about to break apart.

Your vision gets blurry as an involuntary moan escapes your lips.

—I'm so fucking close —you cry out, inarticulate with pleasure. Toto looks up and climbs back up your body, kissing and nipping at your soft flesh as he goes up until his thighs are between yours.

—You want me to make you come, don't you? —he whispers seductively, nibbling on your earlobe.

You nod, biting your lip. You need Toto to fill you, to end this unbearable craving he had built inside you.

—Please, Toto —you beg, thrusting your hips upward. A desperate whimper tears from your throat when your sexes don't meet.

Toto chuckles softly, smirking at your desperation. —Then fuck me —he murmurs, placing you on top of him, inviting you to ride him right there, inviting you to guide him inside of you. —Fuck me hard.

The feeling of him filling you up, inch by inch, sends waves of ecstasy through your body. —Oh, god, yes —you moan, encouraging him deeper.

Your bodies move together in perfect harmony as you ride waves of pleasure. Toto grunts and groans with each bounce, whispering obscenities in your ear as you cowgirl him with an arched back, panting heavily. Wetness pools between you as your sweat-slicked bodies slap together rhythmically.

Toto grabs your hands and pins them behind your back, changing the angle of his thrusts. He hits a spot deep within you that sends shivers down your spine, producing a guttural moan from your lips. 

He smirks at the sound and repeats the action, watching your reaction with fascination.

—Fuuck —you cry out, every muscle tensing as your fingers curl into fists. 

Toto continues to plow into you, each thrust harder and deeper than the last, making your tits bounce without control, making you a mess. 

You look down at him to see your bodies moving in a slick rhythm, leaving trails of sweat and lust on your skin. He looks wild, eyes burning with desire and mouth parted in a low growl as the scent of sex permeates the air around you.

You whimper as he releases one of your wrists, allowing you to wrap your hand around your breast. Your fingers tease your sensitive nipple, sending a fresh wave of sensation flooding through you.

Toto watches you touch yourself, entranced by the movement of your hand on your breast as his thrusts become erratic.

—Fuck, you're so goddamn beautiful —he mutters roughly, his hips slamming into yours hard. The sound of your bodies colliding resonates throughout the room, mixing with your erratic breathing. 

—You like that? —Toto asks, smirking at your eager expression. You feel yourself getting closer to the edge, ready to burst at any moment.

Toto's dark eyes pierce into you, watching every twitch of your face and every moan of breath.

His thrusts become more deliberate, each one pressing into your womb.

—Fuckkk —Toto groans loudly, struggling to contain himself. His muscles tense as he gives it to you very fast; sweat drips down his face, onto his chest, and you.

—Toto! —you moan very loud as you come all over his dick.

—I need you —he confesses to you as he is about to come. You bounce hard and desperately on his cock, till you hear him grunting loud; a mess of panting Toto fills you up.

-

Ferrari's big anniversary is coming up next weekend, and they are set to throw the biggest party ever, a very fancy gala that will take place in Rome, or so Charles discloses to you.

—I'm actually excited for this one! —then he turns to show you the jewelry bracelet he likes before trying it on while cheerfully chit-chatting.

—This one is more your style, I like it better —you agree with his pick, as you two are out shopping.

While the sales lady adjusts it to his wrist measurements, Charles continues telling you: —This party has been in the making for so long, and all the rumors we have been hearing about it from the planners keep getting better; it honestly sounds so good!

You attentively listen to him while trying on a set of butterfly diamond earrings. Yes, you need them.

He continues: —I really wish I could take you like my plus one! But I'm taking my mom; I promised her way before meeting you.

—Oh, sweetie, no worries! But do tell me more about it. Sounds fabulous.

—Well, it will be very VIP, with only big clients, a couple of A-lister celebrities, and influential motorsports people. There's a lot of gossip about what or who will be the entertainment.

—I guess I'm not part of the big names of motorsports yet because I haven't been invited, haha. Mattia doesn't like me, isn't it?

—He is not your biggest fan, but almost no one has been invited; as far as I know, it's just the Scuderia and people Mattia considers his "paddock friends." —Charles gestures with his hands. —And some special guests with a history with the brand, like Niki. He is going! I know because Sam is his plus one; she told me yesterday.

—Maybe I should buy Ferrari to party with you at that fabulous event —you laugh it off as you sign the check for the earrings.

—And to party with Niki —Charles adds, joking.

—I heard he goes hard! —you joke back. Nowadays, if Niki stays up after 10 p.m., he considers it a wild night, in his words.

-

As you are about to finish your grilled salmon at that gorgeous "Gaia" restaurant in Monte Carlo, your phone buzzes on top of the white mantelpiece, grabbing your attention.

—Didn't you lose something?

—Not that I know.

—How weird, cause I have this plus one ticket with your name on it.

—Haha. You got me!

—Feeling like going to a fancy party in Rome?

—A getaway trip to Italy? SIGN ME UP! —you happily reply, already thinking about what you will wear.

-

Rome

As the sun descended over the iconic Roman Colosseum, flashing cameras lit the red carpet at the ancient structure's entrance. 

Sleek Ferraris pull up, each more luxurious than the previous, dropping the celebrities and high-profile guests off to make their grand entrances, dressed in the most glamorous outfits and adorned in shining jewels. 

Amidst all that circus, you two stay on the sidelines, watching the spectacle unfold before quietly skipping the paparazzi and splitting apart to enter the temporarily built ballroom.

—Surprise! —you extend your arms to Leclerc; he is now fresh off the red carpet, the one you avoid to keep it as discreet as possible.

A prominent smile forms on the lips of the Monagesque. —We could have shared the flight here, you know! Instead of you flying here all by yourself —Charles rolls his eyes at you and then hugs you. —I really believed you when you said you didn't get invited. You got me!

"But I didn't fly by myself!" You want to correct him on that, but you don't.

Inside, the atmosphere is as opulent as outside. Red lights illuminate the ancient structure, and lavish decorations adorn every table set. Cirque du Soleil performers move gracefully through the crowds, dazzling costumes twirling and shimmering as they entertain the guests with their mesmerizing acts.

You take in all the sights and sounds of the extravagant gala surrounding you, where motorsport legends mingle with billionaires, entertainers, engineers, celebrities, and beautiful models. 

Laughter, loud music, and chatter fill the air, along with the clinking of champagne glasses.

-

After having a blast dancing around, chatting, and goofing an hour later, you go to look for Sam, knowing she must be somewhere around. 

But the place is enormous, the crowd is big, and no luck so far; she is nowhere to be seen.

You get tired of searching for her and go to the bathroom. By this point, you have had many drinks, "Damn, that waiting line is long!"

As you try to find something to entertain you while you wait, you start scanning the place with your eyes, observing every gorgeous detail, when the silhouette of a beautiful blond woman steals your attention. Four girls in front of you in the line, there is Susie.

She is as beautiful as you expected her to be in person but more petite; she looks fit and fierce but kind. You can't help but stare at her before wondering what she is doing here. Then a "Duh! Idiot! She is a big name in motorsports!" hits you.

-

As you return to your table from grabbing chocolate-covered strawberries a bit later, you run into Sam.

She stares at you with the widest eyes ever, completely surprised. —What? —she lets out, standing still.

—Surprise! —you reach to hug her. —I have been looking for you all damn night! —she barely hugs you, and your big smile starts to fade away. —Is all good? —you ask, concern while looking straight at her.

—I'm so sorry, Y/N. I genuinely am —she mumbles. Samanta's features are full of dismay.

—Sam, you are worrying me.

She gestures to you to turn around.

"Oh, there is that feeling you remember so well." 

That awful fucking feeling of getting your heart shattered. Like a bullet going through the flesh, a sting of pure pain as if your heart was glass and was getting crushed by a hammer, pure and profound pain as you watch Susie wrapped around Toto's neck with no inch of space in between them, standing by the Mercedes guest table, sharing soft kisses and pets. 

Yet you are so skilled at hiding your feelings that it requires an expert - like Sam - to figure you out.

With a neutral face, you faintly say: —I need a moment.

—Y/N... I will go with you...

—I need a moment, I... I need to get fresh air. I will be right back —you start walking in the opposite direction to them, and Sam follows your every step.

—Y/N. I'm here for you...

—I'll be back, Sam. I need a moment, please —you make her stop following you around. So she contains herself and watches you walk away, worried about you. 

Sam knows your mental health hangs from a fragile thread.

-

—I want a Tequila and tonic with three tequila shots in it, please —Samanta brusquely drops herself on her seat at the Mercedes guest table and asks the waiter for a heavy drink.

—That would be two, please. You have learned from the master herself. Where is she, tho? I spotted Y/N and was going to greet her, but I got distracted by a sexy lady asking for a selfie. Now I don't know where she went to —Lewis asks while looking around, trying to spot you among the crowds.

The music is loud, so conversing is challenging if you aren't near enough.

—She's outside chatting with Vettel —Charles inserts himself in the conversation between a pissed-off Sam and a clueless Lewis, arriving a bit rushed at the table and placing himself between their two chairs.

—Hi mate! —Lewis pats his arm, and half hugs him while still sitting. Charles rubs his shoulder in response.

—Hey, Sam. I made the changes you suggested to my speech. Do you approve? —Leclerc hands her a folded piece of paper; "She is out there crying" is written in big caps.

Sam and Charles exchange warry looks.

—It's perfect. I will help you practice it.

—Great idea, let's g...

A loud "ow" sound from the crowd interrupts them. A tray hits the floor loudly, followed by glasses breaking. It's all coming from far on their left. 

They all turn their heads toward the noise, as does almost everyone in the entire place.

—I'm so so sorry! Oh my god! I'm an idiot! Please forgive me! —a very distraught and nervous Vettel apologizes frantically to you. 

He accidentally crashed into the waiter holding a tray of wine glasses as he crossed paths with you, the ones that landed all over you, fucking up your dress, before smashing on the floor. 

Which made poetic sense since you felt wounded, and now you looked like it.

You could sense Toto's eyes burning into you. You weren't supposed to be there.

Lewis gets on his feet. —Jesus, poor Y/N —and he notices how Toto looks utterly shaken by seeing you here and looking whiter than a ghost, and at that moment, he gets it. Fuck.

—Seb, Seb, SEB! —you raise your voice as Vettel keeps apologizing and talking nonstop. —It's okay, sweetie. No worries; I will go change! It's all okay.

—I'm sorry. Please forgive me; let me escort you out. It's the least I can do.

—Okay. Fine —you finally agree, looking a bit done with Seb.

You two start walking to the exit, which is all the other way around for your fucking luck. As you depart, you can hear the people whispering and staring at you. 

A frozen Toto watches you walk past them, and you can't help it; for the briefest moment, you make eye contact with him before Vettel blocks the view.

—Sebastian Vettel, you are a good man —Sam whispers.

—What? —Charles reaches even closer to her.

—Y/N is not coming back. Seb was her exit out. 

—Was that on purpose?!!

—Yes. That's why you saw them talking out there, for sure.

—Are they that close? Since when? I had no fucking clue.

—Since Y/N set foot on the paddock —Sam replies, knowing the whole story. —She's an expert at hiding in plain sight.

—Should we check on her? —Lewis turns to them, still on his feet, looking tense.

—Y/N will be fine; she always is —Sam says aloud for the entire table to hear. She can feel Toto's eyes on her but doesn't care to look back at him.

-

Vettel takes you inside a black-tinted Suburban. As the chauffeur speeds away from the Colosseum, he holds your hand and never lets it go.

Seb asks you to stay at his place so he can care for you and keep you company, and you agree.

You two cuddle in the back seat while you cry in his arms all the ride to his place. 

It's a long one.

You don't know if it's because your heart is shattering into a million pieces, or because you feel vulnerable right now, or just cause Seb is such a kind and precious being that you pour all out. 

You let him know everything, every single fucking detail about your fling with Torger and how you feel right now. You had never been so forthcoming with anyone about this, not even Sam.

—I'm so sorry about how the night turned out; I invited you as my plus-one with the idea of having the best time. I wish I had known all of this before! Finding it out this way, gosh, that's harsh —Seb tells you, with a mixture of mortification and sadness.

—You aren't the one who should apologize! Hey, at least we had a good time on the flight here. Thanks to you, now I want to build hundreds of hotels for the bees.

He smiles brightly before adding: —Right now, you need to rest and feel, let it all out of your system, and tomorrow start new! I'm here for you.

—Thanking for acting out that exit; you deserve an Oscar.

—I have been mistaken for Brad Pitt before, you know —he jokes to try to make you smile, but it's in vain. —You are a good actress, too.

-

You crash on his couch. Barely making it inside, collapsing as soon as you cross the entrance door, feeling drained.

You have experienced the "heart broke syndrome" before and know how it goes, so you needed to lie down ASAP.

-

After God knows how many minutes since you blacked out on the sofa, you hear a noise above you. You slightly and a bit unwillingly open your eyes to see Seb covering you with a remarkably soft blanket that feels so delicious. He drops a puffy pillow on the rug beside you and lays himself down there next to the couch.

You move to face him as he gets comfy there on the floor. —What are you doing?

—Oh, shit, did I wake you up? I'm staying here if you don't mind —he looks at you with apprehension in those stunning eyes.

—You are the sweetest —you tell him as you slowly drift off, exhausted.

As you fall asleep again, you understand now why Lewis dared risk it all for Seb and start wondering what happened to those two.

-

You wake up disoriented and feeling anxious. 

It's still dark. 

Seb is profoundly asleep and relaxed in the blueish-tinted living room, with the moonlight sneaking through the large windows. 

You stay there, unable to sleep but with zero energy to move. You observe his breathing, which weirdly helps you soothe yourself when suddenly, your phone screen lights up, stealing your gaze.

You try to reach for it since Seb placed your purse and phone on the coffee table at arm's distance before going to look for an oversized T-shirt that could work you as pajamas. 

It's a simple text from Toto. "Can I please talk to you?"

As you navigate your phone, you notice many missed calls from Sam, Charles, and Lewis.

Well, now it's clear communication and sincerity weren't your thing. You weren't one of those couples. 

Were you even a couple?

"Maybe it's best this way," is all you reply to him before turning your phone off.

Tears start coming down again as your phone screen dims and fades to black again.

-

The following day, Seb offers you to stay for as long as you wish, and you will take his word for it.

You don't feel like returning to the city you share with Toto; it's way too risky for you to be in Monaco. 

You need time to compose yourself. A lot is about to happen soon, and you need to be at your best. You can't fail. To be continued... < Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

[inquisimail]

dai love interests' letters to the inquisitor in veilguard, if anyone was curious to see them. transcriptions in alt text & under cut

Amatus,

I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear.

I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you.

I will find you soon.

Yours, Dorian

---

My love,

You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side.

Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations.

Yours always, Thom

---

My love,

We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe.

The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can.

The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray.

Yours, Cassandra

---

Hey, Kadan,

Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!)

I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian.

Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to be just what I want to be.

And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you.

So come back safe.

Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.

---

(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.)

Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.")

North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker.

Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know.

We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow.

So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls!

We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.)

Still thinking of you sideways.

Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.)

The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out.

Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me.

I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why.

Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.)

You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on.

(The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.)

New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)

---

The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences too chewed to read.

I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible.

I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you're all right. You are— I've— There's— I wish that I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life.

The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my—I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this—

Whatever you need of me, I am yours.

Cullen

---

My Dearest Lady, / My Dearest Lord,

I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all.

The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together.

There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here.

When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes.

Always yours, Josephine

Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

The Colors are wild. Gets me Thinking (Syd walks in)

Inspired by the lyrics You are Pretty Colors in the song Friday Morning by Khrunangbin and @chefkids and @sydcarmyfan meta on Sydney's orange and pink colors. It hits me that Carmy sees this about her.

This show discusses the inspiration and highlights the importance of self-expression via tattoos and clothing. For example, Carmy's love for denim, Richie's wearing a suit that boosts his self-esteem, and Sydney's chef jacket. Carmy expresses himself through drawing and cooking and as an artist, he has to take someone or something in to produce great art. We see through Carmy's gaze how much he sees Sydney in color. He really sees Sydney and her self-expression (AKA you're dressed like Syd as mentioned before).

Not only did he notice Sydney's Thom Browne shirt, but he also takes her in from head to toe and noticed her colorful scarf. Hence, adding color to her chef jacket.

As I mentioned about thoughtful lines in the second season. Carmys gift for Sydney showed just how thoughtful of an artist he is.

He needs to continue making art because of Sydney. Also, he will have to know he made her favorite meal so he can make an even better piece of art with her, I'm ready for vibrant collaboration in the seasons to come.

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Annette (the original Sparks pre-movie 2013 version)

I've been waiting for this to be released since my early days as a fan! I've not seen enough hype about it out there and I think that is because there's not been a lot of info about this to put things into context for newer fans. So let me remedy this!! (I know they've added some more info in the newsletter but I don't know if everyone gets that.)

At the end of the THOM era Sparks started teasing us about "the new album", which would be in a similar format to Bergman as it was also a full story in audio format. They were fully intent on touring it as a 3-people live theatrical performance with them + Rebecca Sjöwall performing the roles. (They would've liked to tour Bergman as a live performance as well, but logistically that wouldn't work so they were excited about this.) … And then we stopped hearing about it. Until the first news about the film came out!

I've seen people refer to this as a demo or even a mockup album (?), but let me set the record straight: what we have here is the FINISHED Sparks album for Annette! This is what would have been the new album in 2013, the original story for Annette, exactly how Sparks themselves created it (before the film collaboration with Leos Carax). For the film some things were changed, for example I think Carax said that a lot of the irony and humour wouldn't work in a film so that aspect of it was mostly taken out. AND NOW WE GET THE VERSION WITH THAT IN IT! I kid you not I had to be one the phone with a friend to yell about it for 2 hours straight, this is one of the most exciting things to happen!!! (Also, Annette being a literal singing pram? R&R remain the funniest guys alive - this is SO GOOD! I'm so hyped about the beautiful art by Galen Johnson, too! (Who also did the art for the THOM era, and was one of the directors for some music videos over the last few years.))

What we get with this release is Russell as Henry McHenry (and believe me, YOU WANT TO HEAR RUSSELL PERFORM AS AN EVIL GUY), Ron as the conductor as well as some other voices (RON ON VOCALS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!), and the wonderful vocal performances by Rebecca Sjöwall as Ann/Annette (she was the Hollywood starlet on Bergman and she also sang on Life With The Macbeths - a highly relevant song in reference to this release we're getting, I think, "each murder the ratings soar"). I am a huge fan of the Bergman album, but I'll be very honest and say that while I love their choice of accurate voices to tell the story - the most beautiful voices out there are Ron & Russell's and that's the only thing that might have made me love the sound of The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman more. And now we're getting that! This is them taking on the roles of the characters they wrote! I love it when they're acting, because honestly they are really really great at it!

[SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH] Russell Mael - looks like a cinnamon, can actually kill you - will be committing murders, Ron - looks like he could kill you, actual cinnamon roll - will once again not get the girl as the guy portrayed by his brother takes her away from him in more ways than one. (Fuck I still so wish I could've seen this on a stage.)

Also there will be songs we've not heard at all, there will be songs that might sound very different than what we've heard in the film, the story ends differently (and I personally really like that). …I don't know what I'm most excited about, I JUST CAN NOT WAIT. While I'll forever be curious what their stage performances would have looked like, I'll not have to remain curious about what the album and their original version of Annette would have been like. Because here it is!!! :)

I say this without slandering the film, but this version of Annette is the one that's going to hit me hardest. (I am calling my 2013 self to tell them the good news, holy hell!)

As a final note, here's something they've shared in the newsletter:

"Writing in the sleevenotes of this boxset release Ron and Russell Mael have said "...we feel that this earlier version of Annette should be listened to not as the preparatory or demo step toward a filmed version, but rather as a complete and alternative version in itself. We are very proud of it.”

[abyssal-ilk]

do you have any thoughts on viv x blackwall friendship dynamic?

- 🪄

I DO, ACTUALLY! thank you so much for the ask!!!

i think it is a very strained friendship, if one can even call it "friendship". they both perceive the other to be something they are staunchly against. vivienne views the wardens as being unnecessary/dated at best and predatory/dangerous at worst, and blackwall views vivienne to be a pampered noble lady who's willingness to get involved with the inquisiton and her subversion of his expectations of her makes her suspicious. vivienne sees blackwall as a puppy because of his eagerness to matter, and blackwall sees vivienne as a snake because of the cunning that allows for her survival.

(i've barely touched on this before but i do think the fact that vivienne is a woman plays into how blackwall goes about interacting with her. he would not be speaking to her in their banter with the same manner if vivienne were a man, and i think that's important to note.)

i think there is only a very small window where vivienne and blackwall could reasonably be considered friends, and it would have to be after haven falls but before blackwall is revealed to be thom rainier. in my mind it is a friendship of necessity; neither particularly likes the other, but they are fighting together alongside the inquisitor and share a common goal. it's hard to be constantly at someone's throat when you're spilling blood with them and then patching up their wounds afterwards. and they are both defenders! keeping the rest of their team safe is something both vivienne and blackwall care deeply about, and if nothing else, that protectiveness is something to bond over. even if blackwall struggles to see vivienne's care for what it is and vivienne thinks blackwall's viewpoint is vastly naive.

vivienne and blackwall aren't as different as they think, either! they're both free marcher commoners who have had to carve out a place for themselves in orlais as foreigners, but vivienne succeeded in finding a place for herself and blackwall lost that place when he took that bribe and allowed his men to kill a family of innocents. blackwall allowed his own selfishness to get the best of him at the cost of others– something vivienne has not done, and i think that conficts with the view blackwall has on nobility and soldiers, or authority in general. a soldier is just a man following orders to him– the ones commanding the soldiers are the ones to blame for any wrongdoing. but vivienne does not order soldiers. she is a "noble lady" to him, but takes matters into her own hands and puts herself at risk while blackwall once allowed his men to take the fall for himself. this defying of expectations rattles blackwall and he projects a lot of his own insecurities onto her.

vivienne doesn't know any of this, of course, until after blackwall is revealed to be thom rainier. and i do not think vivienne would be forgiving of that deception. she'll play somewhat nice so long as the inquisitor is willing to keep blackwall around, but blackwall being willing to allow his men to slaughter a family for his own gain and then spending years hiding from it? treating her as being suspicious and manipulative when he was the one lying all along? yeah. she's not just letting that go. especially if she happened to start actually liking him somewhere in all of that, and considering she eventually ended up caring for cole? it's not that big of a reach to think she did the same for blackwall.

it's especially juicy if vivienne personally knew the family that blackwall had his men kill, as vincent callier was an ally of celene and vivienne was celene's advisor. or even if rainier was someone vivienne previously took interest in when he was in the army because he was a free marcher like she was. there's a lot of potential in their dynamic!! they're soo fun to think about

i have like half an old fic written of blackwall helping patch up vivienne after a fight while they're seperated from the rest of the party that digs into their dynamic a bit,, mayhaps i will finish it if people are interested