#did i mention i have adhd
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Ok bear with me, because I'm about to go off on a tangent. Due to my current hyperfixation on all things houseplants, I have recently spent what my partner referred to as a "concerning" amount of money and time tending to/learning about/procuring plants and their related accessories.
Now I'm not saying he's totally wrong in feeling like I might be going off the deep end in my pursuit of dopamine but in my defense, I offer this: YEAH BUT THEY ARE FUN. AND CUTE. AND SHUT UP ITS MY MONEY LEAVE MY PLANT BABIES OUT OF THIS
But seriously, i promised I'd stop buying so much stuff from Amazon, and I did. But then I realized that you can buy all kinds of different plant cuttings and starter plants on Etsy, and I ended up buying a select variety that I really want but don't want to pay $100+ for a plant in a 6 inch pot. Some of these prices for trendy plants are insane! Anyway I'm kind of obsessing over Philodendrons so I got 3 oh-so-trendy starters that were about $20 each:
Philodendron Ring of Fire
Philodendron White Wizard
Philodendron Gloriosum (dark form)
And I also got cuttings of the following for $3.95 each:
N'Joy Pothos
Marble Queen Pothos
Manjula Pothos
I don't know if anybody that follows me is into plants, but I'm really happy about this and again, yeah, I know it's still spending money, but the way I look at it is, I'm SAVING money by getting smaller plants plus I get the enjoyment of watching them grow bigger in a controlled environment! So, you know, I'm not saying it's the most responsible thing to do but listen...have you seen what's happening in the world lately? Shit is depressing and I need to touch leaves sometimes
#no but seriously i know ive spent some#but since i had to move them all indoors after they had all been on our porch all summer i had to buy grow lights#and ive repotted a bunch so i had to buy a lot of potting mix#and i also had to try to keep them out of reach of the cat so he wont eat them#that all costs money#and yeah i know its a voluntary hobby#but once you get started you cant just quit and let everything die#houseplants#plants#philodendron#did i mention i have adhd#hyperfixation#if he thinks im going overboard now just wait til i start buying cactus cuttings
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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I wish they had an emoji to show my excitement about some things rather than just having to do a keyboard smash to show genuine excitement
#hyperfixations#special interests#autism#adhd#neurodivergent#probably autistic#I do have ADD though#did I mention I’m getting tested for autism this month?#I’m getting off topic here
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I'd absolutely love to see a hearing disabilities herb guide!
I'm deaf in one ear, so now I'm curious if there are any cats in the rewrite like me? I imagine they might avoid Gatherings because HEARING IN CROWDS UGH.
I need to pick a bunch actually! At some point, I plan to just toss more sight, smell, and hearing disabilities onto the various cats. It should be SUPER common, actually.
Especially in RiverClan.
Like... when I get around to these, RiverClan is going to keep coming up as having a notably higher proportion of deafness and scentlessness. Rivers are filthy. Their ears and snouts are going to be dunked full of gunk ALL the time, they develop a ton of infections. I'm guesstimating that around 15% of RiverClan should have some degree of hearing and/or scent loss, especially as they get older.
Also; Clan cats should be protecting their noses like tools. The same way that you might get scolded for misusing gym equipment, mentors should be chiding their apprentices for doing things like;
Sticking their noses in mud or snow
Eating food that is too hot (damage to the Jacobson's organ)
Sniffing ripe puffballs or other spore-forming mushrooms
Hanging out in dusty dens or unclean, musty spaces (this one wouldn't actually do anything bad, just makes a good superstition.)
But anyway! That's SCENT loss, which should be a waaaaaay bigger disability for Clan cats, but in humans we just don't really take as seriously. In WC, blindness should not have the same weight and scentloss should be a lot heavier.
For hearing loss in one ear, so far, there's just Strikestone, who canonically can't hear out of one of his ears. I will be casually throwing this onto more cats.
#I am not physically hard of hearing as in; I have had my hearing checked and it is fine#But I have auditory processing disorder as a result of my adhd/autism#So BIIIIIG mood I fucking hate trying to listen in crowds!!#For a long time I thought I was hard of hearing in one ear (on the same side I also have vision loss)#Because as a kid I DID take a test that came up positive#But then when I retook it as an adult there was no loss. Never known why.#Also @ other comment on the other post; I also have very minor tinnitus#I'll make sure to mention it as a possible quirk of hearing loss as well#bone babble#disability#better bones au
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oh my GOD i finlaly got to the place in neil's stream where the character he invented is banging the character he invented and she (player character) picks up astarion to do some Adult Fantasy Game things and neil just blurts out "oooh, mommy?" ,MSDFOIWYHEGTHSDHSG
#NEIL IS SUCH A BAD BOY#ALSO HE MENTIONED BOTH HIM AND TOM HAVING ADHD I CALLED IT SO HARD#POOR THEO SOLOMON HAVING TO SEE THIS SHIT KSKDFJSHDGHG#neil newbon#bg3#bg3 spoilers#tbd?#neil: this is getting a little wierd even for me / also neil: MOMMY? oh wait she's/im kind of hot .... omg look at astarions abs...#starting to think he wants to make a neil sandwich with each of them on either side#he did call astarion 'my boyfriend' last stream rip#its ok king i see u its how everybody with bi/pan panic feels in this game
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One thing I hate about my ADHD is the fact that I forget shit A LOT. I need so many reminders and yet I still forget.
You know how hard it is to forget stuff so often?? It sucks! I forget stuff midsentence!
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writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️
tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end
Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.
An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.
When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.
"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."
Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?
"W-what thing, Rick?"
"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."
"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"
"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.
"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"
"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."
He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.
"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."
"I'm busy."
Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.
Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.
"Rick!" Morty frowned.
"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to have lunch with the family."
"And I said no, so screw off."
"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."
Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.
"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.
Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.
"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.
"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"
"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.
Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.
Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.
"What was that about?"
Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.
"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."
"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.
"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"
"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."
Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."
"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"
"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."
"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"
Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.
"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered
"Guess it does."
---
Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.
If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.
Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.
However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.
Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.
He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.
He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.
"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.
"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.
"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.
"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.
Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"
"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."
"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"
"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."
"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."
"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."
"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.
While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.
He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.
"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.
"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."
His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.
"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."
Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.
Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?
"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"
"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."
Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.
"'S no point in anything."
Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.
"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.
"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."
Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.
"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.
"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?
"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."
The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.
"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.
"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.
Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.
"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.
"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."
He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.
While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.
"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.
"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."
"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.
"What did you take?"
"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."
He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.
Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.
Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.
"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."
Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.
He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."
He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.
He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.
"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.
"No."
Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.
"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."
She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."
"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"
"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
The garage was deathly quiet for a second.
"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"
He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.
"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.
"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.
"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.
"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."
"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.
All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.
Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.
Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.
Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.
"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.
"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.
They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.
Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.
He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.
"I did warn you."
"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."
"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.
She sighed softly.
"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"
"Jeans an-and a lab coat."
"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.
Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.
"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."
"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."
Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.
Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.
Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.
"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.
He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.
He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.
As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.
"R-rick?"
"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.
Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.
"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'
"Don't count on it."
Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."
"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.
"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."
"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."
Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"
"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."
"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.
"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."
"Fuck."
---
thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that
#i feel like all the few rnm fics ive written are set in the garage im sorry 😭#thats where rick mostly is when hes not out in other dimensions tho ig#also even tho my fics r all rick centric i cant not have my boy morty in them#i just love him too much#also obligatory birdrick mention in the start bcs theyve been on my mind#also in regards to is anyone in this house not disordered let my drop my smith sanchez family disorder hcs >:)#okayyy#so starting off strong with beth: an alcoholic like her father probably anxiety stemming from her abandonment issues and possibly depressio#next up my boy morty: anxiety also and most likely ptsd from all the shit hes experienced ik a lot of ppl hc him as autistic but i dont#possibly adhd dyslexia or dyscalculia tho or all of the above idk#oookay next up jerry: i really spend incredibly little time thinking about jerry so idk im open to hearing hcs abt him tho#wait back to beth: maybe also ocd or smth like that#okay now summer: my girl has a lot of substance abuse issues as we see and fomo but idk if anything else maybe social anxiety or smth#aaand its rick time: alcohol and drug abuse definitely ptsd for sure depression and autism possibly adhd or bpd or both#in this fic he has an ed also so that#paranoia too#and thats it i think#also going back to the topic ofautism tho#i just cannot see it with morty at all like he shows no symptoms?? i dont see them at least idk i could be wrong#i honestly see it more with beth or summer maybe#but idk#also i almost never put the accents when i write in spanish lol but i did so#vey professional of me ik#gotta let rick say cabron properly#alex says shit#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#summer smith#rick and morty fanfiction
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This is how I’m going 2 b showing my animation WIPS from now on
#tetris draws skrunklies#lmk#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#shadowpeach#it is but u just can’t tell yet#but I swearsies that it is#I did this all 2night#me when my ADHD meds wear off#I keep mentioning the fact that I have ADHD bcz irs so incredibly funny 2 me#cuz it makes sm sense and how did we not know b4#I’m bringing that shit up so often bcz I got a least a decade 2 make up 4#I did not mean 2 off on that tangent#uhm#fun fact abt me ig??? man IDEK what I’m doing💀
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Bitches get hyperfixated on a video game with a dying fan base and post about it several times a day on Tumblr bc they don't know what else to do. They gotta talk about those silly goofy fucked up people somewhere (it's me, I'm bitches)
#this is about the borderlands btw#did i mention that i spent 50 dollars on pandoras box#it was on sale and i had just gotten paid so naturally#im so silly#can you tell i have adhd#borderlands#moths saying things again
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Re-do of tumblrina and da blorbos but 3 years later
Ah yes my blorbos, weird girl number one, weird girl number two and whatever the fuck that blond bitch from one piece has going on
#op#gakuen babysitters#i suppose theres a tmnt mention but dont think abt it too much i still have casey on the brain#almost 4 years of casey brainrot and idk if she'll ever leave#black leg sanji#maria inomata#i love weird women and pathetic men <3#now pathetic weird girls are everything to me so you can tell im insane over casey and inomata#inomata's autistic swag and complete lack of understanding for current day social norms is so dear to me#and then we have casey and her adhd swag that has completelh bewitched me since i watched rottmnt#now you may ask what the hell did i see in sanji? i saw a pretty boy who loves cooking and was sold#then i found out he has So Many Issues and i fell in love#one piece#tmnt#my art
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every day I think about Riz Gukgak being aroace and every day I get sad I am not more confident in my writing because I have ideas!!!!! so many ideas about Riz being aroace and coming to terms with that and actually figuring out that there are labels for what he is and I binge read like 8 or 9 fics about that and Im just like man,,, 5+1 thing where Riz tries to come out and then he finally does and it’s full of him being frustrated with himself and the others and struggling but also refusing to actually stop and think about himself because feelings are too much and he’s busy with Kristen’s campaign okay
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#riz gukgak is aroace#TO ME#and many others#im also aroace#is this projecting? not really but also yes a little bit#Riz is sex and romance repulsed#AND THATS OKAY!#Adaine is also ace but she would be down to get her kisses in#Riz gets >:( whenever it’s mentioned#does NOT know why#Kristen and Adaine both figured it out and bc of adhd and autism did not realise they should tell him#i also have an idea of everyone else just looking at Riz and realising that oh we should like talk to him probably#not sure tho but RIZ GUKGAK!!!!#POINTS. AROACE#dimension 20
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I haven't seen this take a WHOLE lot, but I have seen it enough to get. Frustrated. About it.
So for anyone who doesn't get it: no, symptoms of mental illness are not, in every case, majorly or solely the result of Dealing With Capitalism. Sometimes, they can be! Sometimes the symptoms are situational, and those situations are heavily related to how much capitalism sucks! But many times they are not. I am sorry, but mental illness and trauma and neurodivergence are still going to exist even if capitalism completely goes away. We still have a responsibility to treat the people affected by and experiencing these things with compassion and understanding. We still have to. You know. Acknowledge that their life experience is going to be a lot different than many other's is.
#I promise that when my ocd onset happened at 10 years old I was not thinking about capitalism#germs are still going to exist post-capitalism. the concept of a good person vs a bad person is still going to exist post-capitalism#which means. if those are your OCD Themes™. then. you're still going to have OCD post-capitalism.#and this is true for. you know. EVERY INSTANCE OF THIS.#you take things that are rooted in trauma like did or ptsd. I hate to tell you this but mistreatment and the trauma that results from it#are still going to exist in a post-capitalist world. bad people who do bad things WILL ALWAYS EXIST. so those illnesses are likewise still#going to exist. plenty of anxiety-based symptoms are related to fears that. have nothing to do with capitalism or financial security.#they are DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS. THAT IS THE POINT.#if someone has anxiety that isn't completely situational. or if someone has paranoia. that disproportionate fear does not have to#have capitalism to exist. meaning. you know. those will ALSO still exist.#adhd and autism have nothing to fucking do with capitalism lmao.#the existence of. for example. schizophrenia and psychosis HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CAPITALISM????????#like. we can talk about how much easier it would be for people to get care/accommodations under a non-capitalist system. we can talk about#how divorcing personal worth from the concept of 'productivity' would help the people who experience the things I've mentioned.#I'm not disputing that. but I've seen...a not-insignificant number of people downplay or outright DENY the existence of these#illnesses/experiences outside of 'languishing under the pressure of capitalism/tying your worth to productivity/worrying about financial#security' and that is simply not how it works my friends!#tw: suicidal ideation#like. sorry. I did not seriously consider killing myself at age 10 to escape The Disorder™ for you to tell me that all my issues with this#illness would go away forever if capitalism stopped existing LOL!! LMAO EVEN!!!!!#In the Vents#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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have you made any more frog bread?
??? did i even post that on here? i remember i posted it on twt like. three~four years ago so i'm baffled as to how you remembered that anon but no i have not. i DID make pretzels this weekend however and those turned out good hehe
#the frog bread turned out. mediocre. it was dense and i threw it out after i actually cut into the body of it and realized it wasn't#fully cooked like i thought it was.......#tbf that was also my first solo bread experience so. how it goes. i have learned since#actually i might know the general identity of who this anon is i did mention my frog bread in a discord server when i made it but also#how did you remember that? hdgkldfhgl?#update nvm probably who the hell sent this?????#i'm not creeped out really just baffled/ did you go through my twt media and find that? did you just. Remember? are you someone i know#who dredged up this memory adhd-style?#asks#anon
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i got that kind of mentally ill swag where everyone in my life knows that i need to be medicated except my therapist ✌️💕🌎
#literally reconnected with a friend from high school and she was talking about her struggle to get adhd meds#and i was like 'oh yeah glad to not have to deal with that anymore'#and her reaction was literally just: 'you're not medicated?? 😨'#like girl.......#but then i go into therapy and cry for an hour straight about how i can't imagine continuing live with my current level of anxiety#and my therapist is like 'what about the same meditation technique i've suggested five times now ✨ i bet that would fix you'#and also my therapist being like#'of course when we get this overwhelmed we want to turn to things that dissociate us from the feeling. like addictions.'#me a bitch who they know has both addiction issues and a whole disorder characterized by dissociation: 😶#that's right boys it's MY turn to vent overly personal stuff on tumblr dot com#read my vent post boy#i'm just. frustrated and tired. and very very tired also.#and did i mention tired#figs sillies#vent post
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Ah, let me check this one thing on my phone real quick—
*opens tiktok*
*closes tiktok*
*opens reddit*
*closes reddit*
*starts playing tetris*
*remembers I wanted to check when the next episode of the series I’m watching airs*
*closes google*
*opens tiktok*
#my posts#ADHD#quiet on set#someone fucking help#the only reason j remermed was because I looked up and my tracking sheet was open#also have any of y’all watch Quiet on Set yet?#that shit is so depressing#idk why I (a victim of CSA) choose to watch it#like… I’m already down#did I have to make myself MORE depressed???#idk#did I mention I’m at work?
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