#did ANY OF THAT make sense haha
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i'm going to do three final rounds of the women sitcom character polls! all characters included are the top 22 highest rated characters from my previous 9 polls. these new polls will give characters more votes so i can confidently make a ranking list for my gif series ! please vote for you favorite!!
#there were a couple ties in the last 9 polls i did so this will be helpful to break those ties#did ANY OF THAT make sense haha#womeninsitcoms#polls#poll#tv polls#character poll#dee reynolds#it's always sunny in philadelphia#britta perry#community#janet the good place#the good place#janine teagues#abbott elementary#rosa diaz#brooklyn 99#april ludgate#parks and recreation#dorothy zbornak#the golden girls#alexis rose#schitt's creek#fran fine#the nanny#rachel green#friends
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sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.
and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.
he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.
just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)
#lychee's brain trash#mako lok#mako tlok#sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize#how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point#nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all#he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it#which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles#he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha#as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory#anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol#i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel#this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH#i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun#trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;;#and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years#and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words
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I recently read an article in which Quentin Tarantino stated that fewer movie stars exist as a result of "Marvel movies in Hollywood." I think Jennifer Aniston made a similar argument before saying that there are no longer any movie stars. I'm not sure what that means. I can think of a lot of movie stars right now, such as Zendaya, Timothee Chalamet, and Zoey Deutch etc. what do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and Quentin's comments.
QuillBot's
Months ago, when you sent me this ask, anon, I wrote out a really long reply and as soon as I hit post, my laptop crashed and ate the answer, and I was so annoyed at myself for not saving my reply, that I couldn't bring myself to try and re-write an answer. I'm really sorry for that, especially because I think this is such an interesting ask (or well, two asks, because I think the death of the movie star and the impact Marvel's had on the broader concept of a movie star, are kinda two different things).
I've been thinking about it a bit again recently though, particularly as the Oscar race gears up, and Jacob Elordi and Charles Melton''s respective stars are rising in an industry currently desperate to find the new young Hollywood male 'talent', and I've been thinking about it again because honestly?
I agree with Jennifer Aniston, I think the movie star is dead.
We are a long, long way from Golden Age Hollywood where actors like Cary Grant and Marilyn Monroe could captivate a public imagination in a way that translated to big box office effect, after all. Hell, we're even out of New Hollywood, an era dominated by names like Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, and Jane Fonda, and the Blockbuster era with Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone and Harrison Ford.
My original reply went into a lot of the different reasoning as to why this is (like with many things, I don't think there's any one reason for it), in particular how the advent of streaming has changed our relationship with films and TV shows, how the saturation of the market has diluted the staying power of celebrities, how social media and the perceived accessibility of celebrities removes personal mystique which in turn removes intrigue and increases a sense of entitlement, and the fact that so many people having stopped going to the cinema means that the experiential element of seeing a film in a setting larger than life has been diminished.
I think call out culture plays a role too, with any actor on the rise being torn down by tweets they made eight, nine or ten years ago impacting how their star rises, I think the dismantling of the studio system (which is a good thing!) also harmed actors in the long run as studios stopped investing the same resources into making and training stars (they used to be able to sing, dance and act! Now some can barely even act!), and I think, of course, the rise of prestige TV changed the industry substantially (after all, movie stars were movie stars - they traditionally did not, and would not, do TV, which created a clear class structure in terms of screen-based storytelling).
And yeah, I think the language shift from film and TV to content has done irrepairable damage to the artistry of filmmaking and the consideration of a movie star as an actor at the top of their field instead of an actor with the most Insta followers or YouTube subscribers (after all, if everything's content, isn't it the same thing? [no lol]).
Which I guess is kind of where Quentin Tarantino's argument comes in, right? What he's saying is that Marvel's made it so that the IP - the content itself - is the star, not the actor, and I'd say he's probably right with that.
Think of it this way - back in the New Hollywood/Blockbuster era, Harrison Ford was the movie star - he was leading new franchises left-right-and-centre between Star Wars and Indiana Jones, sci fi epics like Blade Runner, leading action thrillers like Patriot Games, The Fugitive and Clear and Present Danger and getting nominated for Oscars for Witness.
He was a movie star in every sense of the word because you could hinge a film - one with a new concept, not just remakes or sequels - on him and be virtually guaranteed a success. He was what sold the tickets, the director just hopefully had to make something good enough people would leave the cinema glad they saw.
Tarantino's argument is the Marvel model - - hell, even the new Star Wars properties, turned the franchise into the star, for better or worse, which means original films can't compete because nobody knows the IP. Back when Harrison Ford was at the top of his game, his name was what helped original films including smaller, standalone works like Witness find an audience, but the studios have changed that. Capitalism has changed that.
Properties with existing audiences and deep pockets for merch were prioritised, only now those franchises are faltering and you've got a generation trained that 'cinematic events' are reserved for blockbusters in established universes, instead of taking a risk on a new film because you know you love an actor who's in it.
Do I think we could go back?
Maybe, but probably not.
I think the place we are now in the history of cinema / TV / 'content' means you can't make a movie star anymore because I think the industry is simply so different that no actor can break through in the same way that even Leonardo DiCaprio could 30 years ago. That industry doesn't exist anymore, actors aren't guaranteed draws (Bones and All proved that for Timothee Chalamet, and Wonka I think could go a similar way), or they have to heavily rely on other industries to become household names which I think dilutes them as a pure 'movie star' (Zendaya's a great example of this - I like her a lot, but how many movies has she even been in? They built her career up in peripheral industries long before they tried to sell her as a movie star, and frankly, I'd question her even as a leading actress yet given she's typically only either been in ensemble casts or clear supporting).
It's a whole new world, and yeah, I think the movie star is dead.
#i hope this makes sense haha#it's an interesting topic#and a shame really#i also think there's a difference between being famous online and a movie star#like zoey deutch i really like and i know film twitter likes her#but she's b-list at best and i doubt she has any broader name recognition unfortunately#whereas timmy and zendaya defs do#but even their star power isn't working#dune did well because of tarantino's argument#the ip is the star#challengers will be the real test for zendaya#and wonka will be timmy's biggest one#because bones and all tanked but is a) genre and b) indie#don't look up french dispatch and little women were all ensemble#so yeah#wonka will defs be interesting to see#film asks#welcome to my ama
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oppulent.
pairing: diluc x gn! reader
fandom: genshin impact
trope(s): marriage of convenience, implied enemies to lovers
warnings: crack. mentions of thick fingers (sobs), reader has a teasing personality, workplace romance.
a/n: whoever thought it'd be a good idea to give me a functioning brain and a keyboard *sighs wistfully*. this is peak delusion, please try to enjoy, and bear with me.
Diluc scrutinized the ring in his hand, his brow furrowing in subtle frustration. He glanced up at you with an impassive expression, motioning for you to extend your hand.
"Let's try this again," he grumbled, his tone clipped and businesslike.
You obliged, holding out your hand as he selected a new ring. Diluc's fingers were precise as he attempted to slide it onto your ring finger, but as it happens, it caught midway.
He frowned, his impatience growing more apparent. "Your fingers are thicker than I anticipated." he remarked with a measured tone.
Suppressing an eye-roll, you extended your hand once more, wondering how someone so meticulous in business could falter with something as seemingly straightforward as ring size. Diluc selected another ring, and this time, it glided on with ease.
"There," he stated matter-of-factly, "the right size."
You couldn't help but mutter something under your breath.
Diluc shot you a glance, his crimson eyes meeting yours with an unreadable expression. "Excuse me?"
You met his gaze head-on, your irritation bubbling to the surface. "I said, I didn't realize precision had a learning curve, sir."
A flicker of annoyance crossed Diluc's features, but he remained composed. "I don't have time for inefficiencies. This is merely a formality for our arrangement."
You couldn't resist a sarcastic smile. "Of course, Mr. Ragnvindr. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you with the size of my fingers." He merely grunted in response, returning to his usual grumpy self as if the exchange hadn't ruffled his feathers.
The tension lingered in the air as you exchanged those subtle barbs with Diluc. The jeweler discreetly observed the dynamic between you two, unsure whether to be amused or uncomfortable. Once the rings were finalized, you gathered your composure, preparing to leave the shop.
As you turned to exit, Diluc's voice cut through the air, begrudgingly breaking the formality. "You can drop the formalities. Just call me Diluc."
A mischievous grin tugged at your lips. "Oh? so we're on a first-name basis now?"
His response was a tightened expression, a silent plea for cooperation. "It's more convenient for our... arrangement."
Your satisfaction was palpable. "Alright, Diluc. If you say so."
#♔ — works !#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#diluc#genshin diluc#diluc x reader#genshin fluff#genshin crack#;-; i just wanna talk about grumpy CEO diluc yall#im so down bad for this man i sweae#ughghghghghghg why am i thinking these thoughts this is so unhealthy ANYWAYS HAHA#i hope this makes sense to u guys#but if it doesnt then just remember that it doesnt make sense to me either#i just think that diluc is sovdkbfrgwenosi its so funny#bye#if there are any mistakes or typos you will ignore them bc i will come back and fix this. bc i did not proofread.#bc i am an impatient piece of shit#hahasdkofgtnftpdrsoawkfsd#FIUEzdbnogwI DILUC MY LOVE
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I just found out Fyodor's cello piece from the 3rd season is called "Bird of death" and I find that interesting for a few reasons.
First of all, is it connected to Nikolai? They work together and -shipping aside - if they're actually friends, it would make sense for Fyodor to write a piece either for him or simply inspired by him. Not only are birds associated with Nikolai, but death as well since he was supposed to die by being cut in half. He also kills people, so if we combine all those things, they kind of make him a symbolic bird of death.
Secondly, it would make the cello scene have a slightly different atmosphere as Fyodor would be playing a piece he associates with his friend who's going to die after commiting a series of murders while a different murder is taking place. Also the situation would be even weirder for Katsura because it would mean he was kidnapped by a guy who didn't just play cello for him, but play a piece he associates with his friend. Of course Katsura would have no way of knowing, but still.
Thirdly, does that make Fyodor a bird of death? Because if it's not connected with Nikolai whatsoever, then it's most likely connected with Fyodor himself. It would make sense because he kills people as well, but would also accidentally make both Fyodor and Nikolai be associated with both birds and death (#matchingimagery).
Lastly, how much does studio Bones know?? I checked the dates of manga volume releases and Sunday tragedy chapters did come out back in 2017, so the team working on the anime would have enough time to integrate this title as an easter egg if they wanted to do that (as the 3rd season began in April 2019), but then again it seems like a random idea to allude to a character from a future arc that they weren't animating at the time. Either a member of the team was/is a fan of bsd or they're getting extra info on future events. Bones also seems to be making surprising decisions when adapting the material (such as putting Fyodor in Untold Origins), so I think it's possible they know something we don't.
But it's also possible that Bird of Death has a different meaning that I'm not aware of or it's all just a coincidence haha
#my brain is completely fried today so idk if I'm making any sense haha#bsd#bsd spoilers#bsd original#bsd nikolai#bsd analysis#bsd fyodor#did I come here today just to share this? yeah I did#but I'm genuinely curious because it's seems like a waaay too big of a coincidence#I had no idea bird of death was made for bsd I thought it was a classical piece that bsd just borrowed#also I didn't want to put that in the post itself but the fyolai potential??#it would be even more hysterical if my theory was correct because the scene of fedya playing cello for katsura is what inspired a scene#in my fic in which fedya plays a piece written because of kolya#like it's never stated explicitly because I love being as ambiguous as possible but I hint at that#so you know it would be funny if my fic had an added unintentional connection with the anime#but it's even more possible that it's just my brain being done for today and that it's all just a coincidence
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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Following on from your previous post regarding what you said about you disliking non-human Splinter origin stories, which Splinter would you say is your favorite?
i mean, i wouldn't say i disliked them as so much as i just... didn't care for them as MUCH per say. like 2003 splinter, i hold very high in regards because i think he's a good, well written character without bringing attention to the pretty hilarious backstory that he was a pet rat that learned ninjitsu BEFORE mutating like... that's just straight up hilarious and crazy but it works yknow
and i'll be so honest, rise splinter took me a while to get used to. i liked 2012 splinter for his flaws (i love me a good Daddy Issues underlying plot) but again like i said, rise + 12 do such a good job at fleshing their characters out into something so much more than just the turtles sensei. 2012 took off with that concept and rise ran with it and i appreciate that.
and i really love mutant mayhem splinter! again, don't super vibe with the rat first route buuuut they take it in a pretty fresh direction with his fear of humans so it gives him booster points from me. and its always so refreshing when a splinter acts like a father first rather than just a teacher, which we seem to be getting more of since 2012 and rise :)
i don't really have a favourite just because i think his character all round is interesting. i don't have much to say about bayverse splinter just because i genuinely can't remember much about him. 2007 splinter didn't really do much either really in his movie, and idw splinter can go to fresh hell! lmao
idw splinter would be my only least favourite haha
#yeah it really is just a solid rotatoin of rise 12 and 03 depending on what i want out of that character haha#like are any of them perfect fathers? UH NO but that is what makes them so interesting#each of them are better at other things the other sucks at and thats fine! nobody is perfeeeectttt!!#2012 had such a cool backstory i just wish they did more with him for the PRESENT day the story was being told yknow#rise splinter could have been given more but then again the whole rise roster deserved more so. what are ya gonna do huh#thanks for the ask anon hope some of this makes sense im running a crazy fever and just. talking pure shit at this rate HAH#ask#anon#tmnt meta
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Last man standing (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#It's lonely at the top :(#Poor dearest is worse for wear ah </3#This scene made me cry ;;#Like it was sad when he wrote down his missing canonmates but going back in and writing everyone else's names ;;;;#Even his shaky alliances! Even the people he hasn't seen for a while!! Wehhh <3 <3 <3#You soft heart ;; I see you Admiral ♥#Also had a lot of fun writing in VUK ZIX again hehe ♪#The translations from VUK ZIX to English aren't exact - for starters they're upside down haha#So if you started from the top down it would actually read KINLEZ NATPAK but I figured that wouldn't be as readable#You read from the bottom up! I also still headcanon it being written/read from left to right#So he started with Zelnick then Fwiffo then Tanaka and so on#Although I did change it up for the second one - Teisel then Xelloss then Xigbar then Asch and Van#The more I think of it the more I'm surprised there's no H :0#Even just as a demarcation of a pause before during or after a syllable#The ''sh'' sound makes complete sense tho hehe <3#Any incorrect shaping of letters/poor handwriting on my part can totally be chalked up to ZEX not being used to human hands!#Totallyyy lol#I really like the way specific syllables are shaped - like how Teisel and Zelnick almost share the same shaped between ''SEL'' and ''ZEL''#How Z is a more connected extension of S just agh it's so pretty <3 <3 Eco_Mono really did such a lovely job with it ♪#And then certain ''incorrectly'' spelled syllables still turned out so pretty! Like the ''ANA'' in Talana - look how swoopy and continuous!#The ''BAR'' in Xigbar looks really cool - honestly reminds me of the fanweapons I made ages ago for I? think? Xigbar's apprentice??#It's been too long I don't remember now lol but it's cool to me in particular because of that!! :D#Fwiffo looks so funny haha - Tanaka has a cool star-like kind of letter in his name?? Man it's just so neat <3#As for ZEX - I mean he made it this far :( Not one to give up easily that's for certain ♥ Tenacious#I want him to be happy :'0
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No Wonder
by Joanna Newsom
Take it with me, love, to a place it can be, love. Little bird, little stone, shine, in light of the undone, dig with your hands, dear gather our friends, dear and I will cover with dust, dear Silence and trust, dear. Stay through the winter, wait for the splinter, and the green in the springtime, Queen-and-her-King-time.
Sweetness all summer and fall hit like a drummer and split in the autumn pit with no bottom.
And after the fall, out in the country in the long drought with ya, honey. And I call, daughter and son, ours to adore, whatever may come. After our chores end, and our money and our scores are settled and done, darling, I will stay till the last, plates are all filled, treats are all passed.
Ain’t it a thrill, ain’t it a gas Foot* at the hill, and don’t it go fast? At the foot of the hill, we empty our glasses.
And I’ll follow you over, will you follow me under? Crawl through the shadows, call out the wonder. Oh, how I love you, time will tell – I’ll never tire of you, I’m just tired of myself, dear.
And as our days, waft in a realm our path is away, soft as a dream. We laugh and we race soft and ennui capture a stray pod on the breeze hammer a stake, mark in our seed manage to rake, water, and weed. Hundred to one, our garden will grow. But wonder or none, I wanna be known, wanna be sung, wanna be shown, want for no one but you and your warm opening arms. Watching the rolling storm clouds sail by
our window, dock in the valley; paled*, pocked, and dimpled crocodile belly. We wait all night and count the thunder, there is no lightning. It is no wonder.
But just before dawn, water comes streaming in the dark, every bead burns like a star, blinking to sleep, burns like a spark, burrowing deep, under the lawn, quiet and green rain has begun, honey, come see under the sun, rising like steam. Wonder or none, I wanna be seen, wanna be–eventually, eventually.
Grow through the winter, and summer, surely and slowly. Little star shine of wonder at home with you only.
#joanna newsom#no wonder#a joanna lullaby#god it's so beautiful#she really went and did it again made a new masterpiece album#my lyrics here are mostly similar to what i've seen others hear too but there are some different places still#i marked 'paled' here because i can hear and see both 'paled' and 'paved' and they both make sense within context of the line#but i went with 'paled' because it creates and l alliteration and joanna loves a little phonetic play#anyway#i hope you enjoy this#i have 2 left any request which should i do first marie at the mill or the air again? or maybe no one needs these from me anymore?#jnew 5 lyrics#love joanna#jnew#'foot at the hill' can also be 'ford at the hill' depending on which wordplay she went for haha
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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Sigh
what could have been
I should probably put the unlisted video link here so I don't keep torturing myself and reminding myself what could have been from having the video in my watch later
RIP budget - hopefully one day we'll get the canon continuation again://
youtube
#Whyyyyyyyyyy#I just find it funny Halfbrick folk complain about time spent on things and use that as an excuse#Then they casually ignore the work put into this continuation and say they had soooooo more work for the new jj2 series....#Stop kidding yourself seriously 😔#The old series when level 2 started was far superior in humor and goofiness while mixing in casual buildup and gave a look at the character#How I fell in love with Craig and Barry's friendship 💔💔 of them looking after each other and being there (atleast for Craig)#The new series goes too fast and there's no buildup or barely any goofiness in the episodes (referring to all)#Left us on a cliffhanger with Minotaur and then just kept as is like fuck you haha#Like???? What?? What happened? How did Minotaur capture them? How did they escape??#ALSO MIKHAILL??? WE WERE SO CLOSE TO GETTING MORE ON HIM?? (And Minotaur too BUT MIK???)#times like this makes me wish I could do their voices and animate. Best we can do is comic ig but even then 🫠🫠#I hope one day they'll publish the old JJ shorts cause I ain't buying this cheap#too fast paced bs series with the most ridiculous plot#Makes no sense fr
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accidently gave them a huge height difference last time I drew them, but after rotating them in my head, I've decided to commit to the bit
I also think their potential personalities would be interesting to bounce off each other :)
#amnesia the bunker#I /did/ decide to modify how DeRais looked. trying to get him more on-model and make sense to the setting haha#I could not find any bodies that looked conspicuously like med personnel so Josinski's designed whole cloth on the other hand :P#me: you will have nuance. you will have rich internal lives.#characters who barely show up in the story: 🧍#Dr. Josinski#Father DeRais#shakespeareomnibus#amnesia
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Something something, the VERY obvious nature of knowing exactly what insecurity a fictive is going to adopt, and sure enough its EXACTLY the thing you thought it would be. And it expresses in the same way
#why are they like this. im they#its like “oh i bet Hilda has an issue with fitting in and connecting to animals more than people. not like that's something#the system as a whole has experienced consistently in this life and has related to her off the bat for that shi“#“haha i bet Lucifer has depression and he hates himself too! hes so me” no. im me#he.#and I hate MYself. you dont GET jt. just kidding you definitely do. it sucks dont it#i bet other luci fictives feel this way too (cuts to them having the BEST time)#system babbles#vent#lucifer morningstar#i self loathe so much god damn LMAO. and im laughing and pointing finger guns rn but im in agony. like straight up#and i know its rebellious to love yourself its all we got and its the answer to everything love love love love love.#i CAN'T STOP. i just don't feel like i deaerve anything good and that whatever bad thing happens to me im like#“yeah that makes sense. i had that comin. I definitely walked onto the timeline that that happened so i cant even get mad or upset or feel-#like i deserve any justice or relief or comfort. yeah i definitely deserve to suffer even if it literally wasnt my fault or something i did“
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Now, you're probably asking yourself " kairi, he was literally carved like a thanksgiving turkey, how can his scars be sentimental? " & boi I am so glad you asked.
See, the way I interpret it is while Malik never really wanted to be a tomb keeper, it was the only thing he could relate to his father with. Sure we can all say he was a shitty dude & whatnot, but he was still a father & Malik's only blood relative ( aside from Isis - but I digress. ) Malik never intended for his father to die, he was young & the idea of carrying on the family duty was a lot to put on a child's shoulders.
To put it frankly, the scars are a reminder of his father - they are the last living memory of him. He wears his earrings, yes, but his father was the one who carved into his back. Painful, yes, but his whole revenge centered around getting justice for his father, to see Atem suffer. Although he was gravely misled ( frick you shadhi. )
#(( did i ramble? ofc i did#(( malik is such a layered character i just??#(( love him sm#(( did any of this make sense?? probs not HAHA#𓂀 ↠ SWEET LADY MINE ;; I’LL BE YOUR FORGET ME NOT. && OOC.
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*sigh* you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I just posted a fic in another fandom (i don't mind sharing which one tbh) that wasn't Batman yesterday, and it's only gotten TWO KUDOS and twelve hits. I really liked writing it so I'm just really bummed rn, ig… I've posted almost 20 fics in the Batman fandom so I think I've just been really spoiled (in a sense) and my view/idea of how many hits/kudos to expect in a certain time frame is skewed.
(okay, fine: I looked at other fics with this pairing, and they all have very low hits and kudos, so it's not just me i guess 😔. plus what i'm writing for came out 12 years ago and there have been tonssss of updated installments of it, so… maybe it's just not as active as it used to be, understandably. it's still kinda disheartening though, bc I had a bunch of ideas for a series but now idk if i'll even be encouraged enough to write them lol. Now I'm super duper extra grateful for all the love via kudos and comments I get from this fandom 💕)
no, I totally get it! It's tough to put this stuff out there sometimes. You put all this work into it and are so proud of it and...there's no feedback or reaction. And it's not like you're getting people saying they don't like it, you just get...nothing. And that's almost worse?
I totally get the feeling though. I've been doing this probably decades now (for different fandoms) and even now I was looking at some of my fics and I can't help but be like 'why did this ONLY get x kudos/comments? Why not more? Why not as much as x-fic that I just saw/I don't think is as good?' (it also doesn't help that I've been ✨hella depressed✨ lately so even the smallest thing signals to my brain like - this is why you're the worst at everything)
What do they say? Comparison is the killer of creativity. Not comparing to other writers or situations is super hard. But just remember that you are writing for yourself! Writing makes YOU happy, and what others think or don't doesn't matter. And if creative writing is making you more sad than happy, maybe it's time to take a step back or something.
But I also get the tiny joys of the batfandom. There's some screen names I see comment on my stuff EVERY TIME and it's the only way I know them but they're like staples to me now and that just makes me happy. So focus on those tiny victories and joys!
#asks#anon#does any of this make sense? or did i just ramble like an absolute loser#im sorry this sucks haha
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love laughing when i say all my g-parents are dead bc people are always like aww im so sorry but we rarely saw them bc my parents didnt really talk to their parents so that was a whole thing
but also my entire memory of them is just being nervous around them bc old people scared me when i was little also im wholly convinced my memories from early childhood w them are actually just made up as nightmares i had about my gparents and their houses
also 1 died before i was even coinsciously thinking and another died around the time i was starting to develop brain blasts so cant really miss someone u dont know HAHA
#also they all lived in TX so their houses were filled with bigass flying cockroaches#i dont think i comprehended anything i just typed as i was typing it so sorry if it didnt make any sense at all#also i did not realize you spell it as Wholly in that context what a weird looking word#im just saying my nightmares stopped being so prevelant after they all died HAHA coincidence? idk man
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