#dick is so clueless and autistic

[notdeezy]

Wally: Really smells like upsexy in here

Dick: ?? What's upsexy?

Wally: *WHEEZE* I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WORKED WHAT-

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not letting an autistic kid join my group?

Okaayy this requires a LOT of backstory so bear with me on this.

I am 16F and the kid in question is 16M. I shall call him Tyler. I've known Tyler for like 3 years, never really been friends with him but he has been in my classes many times. Tyler is very blatantly autistic, which means it's very easy for people to pick on him. Other kids will be dicks to him and rile him up because they think it's funny. I am also nd but am quite good at masking so I don't get picked on but I am still a loner. Y'know the stereotypical quiet kid. Last detail to note about Tyler, he never does any of the classwork. Every time I have been in class with him he has just watched youtube on his laptop and will not do the work unless a teacher forces him to. This is important to note for my first major encounter with Tyler when I was 13.

There was a group project and everyone had to pick a partner to do a presentation, standard school stuff you get the gist. Me and Tyler ended up being the last ones left so we got paired together. The problem was that he did not pull his own weight. I had to sit with him and slowly walk him through the stuff we had to do for the project. Then I told him I would do X part of the project and he would do Y part of the project. He agreed and I went to work on it. The next day I asked if he had done anything, he hadn't. I sympathized with this because I also have executive dysfunction and very much struggle with completing things so I told him it was fine, he just had to work on it today and to send it to me once he was done. So I got home and waited for him to send me his part of the project but of course, it never came. So I ended up having to do literally EVERYTHING myself at the last minute. I went to the computer room to finish it at break time and lo and behold who do I see but Tyler in the computer room watching youtube. I gave him a firm telling off because I was hella pissed that while I was stressing out trying to do a group project by myself he was doing fuck all. He obviously felt bad but I was still rather pissed. So on the day of the presentation I did something admittedly very petty in that I forced him to do his part in the presentation despite him never seeing the presentation before. So he obviously struggled a lot. But that was that and I was quite certain I didn't want to work with him again. Flash forwards a bit, he tries to sit with me. I don't want to be an ass so I let him. The thing is that he was completely clueless about all the work so I ended up having to be like a surrogate teacher, walking him through everything. Again. The thing is, I couldn't get my own work done if I was stuck being Tyler's tutor. I was like "Fuck this. I'm not his teacher! I'm not even getting paid for this!!" So I started actively avoiding sitting with him so I could actually get shit done and he seemed to get the hint.

Now, to the present. He happens to be in the same class as me and asked if he could be in my group and I ignored him. I felt bad about it but I did not want to be handholding this kid. He seems to be actively trying to get my attention and trying to interact with me but I am just not interested. Especially since he seems to think that doing things like flicking water at me or slamming doors in my face is a good way to get my attention. I've tried to make it very clear I don't like this behaviour but he keeps doing it. In the most recent incident he randomly poked my back when I was crouching down to pick something up. I really hate being touched so I snapped at him but I feel guilty about it now. I feel like I could've handled it better because he clearly doesn't pick up emotional cues very well. And clearly he's just lonely, which I get but I feel he burnt this bridge a while ago and is just blasting the remains with a flamethrower.

So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[andiebomb]

Totally different than my regular posts but fuck u

(TW/ suicidal tendencies, chronic illness, vent)

No one understands type1 diabetes unless you actually have it, I was in the hospital (one time of many) for intentionally putting myself into DKA so that I could lose weight and then die (I’d look so hot in my casket) so the hospital called the crisis guy like how they normally would for an attempt,

but because it was a matter of me just giving up on having to CONSTANTLY monitor and be hyper vigilant of my body (WHICH REGULAR PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO DO) they were kinda clueless on how to effectively help me.

Normally when someone “gives up” it’s on their basic needs like eating, self care and shit like that but for me it was just stopping putting needles in myself, doing math to be able to eat and stabbing the tips of my fingers 20 times a day

I was exhausted, my life is basically being a 24 hour nurse for myself.

Plus I’m fat so having diabetes just means everyone blames my illness on myself, which isn’t how type 1 diabetes works! I didn’t do anything, I never drank soda, I rarely ate sugar but that’s how the general public thinks how people get diabetes! When actually my pancreas is just a little BITCH WHO CANT FIGHT BACK AT MY AMMUNE SYSTEM!

This crisis guy came into my hospital room and started giving a lecture on TYPE 2 DIABETES! I AM TYPE 1 THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT! And even his lecture on type 2 was bullshit!

His man looks me in my eyes and says “if you wanna be happy lose weight by eating healthy and exercising. Your never going to be normal so stop acting like you are.”

…I am also autistic so I’ve struggled with feeling like a foreign creature, unhuman my whole life.

This man just reinforced every. Single. Reason. Why I wanted to kill myself.

And honestly after he said that I started sobbing. He left the room without guilt and said I was free to discharge.

Hearing that I fully started to laugh my ass off at the absurdity of the situation, this man WHOS JOB IS TO STOP ME FROM KILLING MYSELF just signed my death certificate.

I didn’t end up killing myself purely because… FUCK THAT GUY IM GONNA BE FAT AND HATE MYSELF AND BE THE MOST NORMAL PERSON EVER! HE CAN GO EAT A DICK!

Anywayyyyy hideduo is so cute!

[colorfulyetsinful]

This is a hc timeline list for a fanfic I’m writing (it’s not even about Bruce, I just like writing lore).

No capes au, meaning no power or hero or villains. It’s hard to explain, maybe I’ll go into it more once I publish the fic.

(I’m not sure if this makes sense but I hope it makes sense)

Going one for the Kent’s bc I got plans for Clarky boy >:}

Anyways enjoy!!

Warning ⚠️

-young Bruce Wayne

-and underage drug use (it’s only mentioned)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce is basically Damian mixed with dick’s public persona

- basically he’s stand offish and a smart ass with a charming smile

Autistic coded (where Damian gets it from

Chosen not to have friends, but when Clark and Diana became his partners for a group project, he couldn’t get ride of them

Bruce and Oliver had a rivalry going on

hey didn’t realize it at first until they shared a class in 8th grade, and after that they couldn’t stand each other

Him and Harley some how became besties (kinda like how Damian and Colin are)

He scolds her for being interested in a delinquent (joker)

She comes back at him for having a on-off relationship with Talía

Him, Harley, Harvey, Edward, Pamela, and Selina used to sneak out of school to go smoke pot

(Usually on Wednesdays and Fridays every other week)

He definitely went through a rebellious stage

Cheated on his current gf (idk you pick) with Talía

Him and Talía were that toxic couple that shouldn’t be together but are

Kinda like Maddie and Nate but Bruce would never put his hands on her (he wouldn’t and he couldn’t that bitch would beat his ass)

Him and Selina are childhood friends in the sense that they met like 4 time from the age of 8-13 and fully became friends in Highschool

Talía and Bruce are childhood sweethearts

He was a band kid,,,he definitely played the trombone

Also was in a garage band bc of Eddie

He played the drums

Thought he was going to get ride of Harley after graduation

Nah they both were in the same criminal psychology major

Didn’t know how to drive until he was well into uni (he was driven around by a butler his whole life what do you expect)

Him, Clark, and Diana are drinking buddies

Him and Harley stopped being friends after she dropped out of school and ran away with her bf

Selina, Pamela, and Harley had a reunion in jail

Bruce dropped his friendship Harvey bc they both got drunk and had a fight at a club

Finally broke it off with Talía

Well she broke it off with him…he tells ppl his version tho

Lives up to his name as “Gotham’s playboy” for the rest of college

Him and Oliver (Queen) hooked up at a college graduation party

Woke up to matching rings and a marriage certificate

They were both mortified

He took Dick in around the age of 26 (dick was around 6)

Adopted him a year later

A bit clueless, so Alfred basically raised him

He really learned what patience was with Dick

Found and adopted Jason when Dick was about to turn 7 (Jason was still 5 turning 6)

Thought he was doing good bc now Dick had a friend :D

It didn’t work

Dick was ok about Jason, just was annoyed with Bruce

He lost his parents, anger is one stage of grief

“Now you know how it feels to raise a child, Mister. Bruce”

Yes Alfred is so smugges

But Jason is Bruce’s baby

Jason was such a good boy he couldn’t see how any one could be mean or say anything bad about him

He became such a family man

Him and Selina start having a physical relationship after Jason was adopted

They aren’t really dating bc they didn’t want to “be committed to anything”

Lowkey dating

He help Clark and Lois get together

He was also the best man for their wedding

Also a groomsman for Oliver

Adopted Tim and Cass a few weeks later (the judge looked at him crazy) when dick was 10, Jason 8, cass 9, and Tim 7

Told Alfred there will be no more kids after them

Haha

He helped Kate with the legal team to adopted Harper and Cullen

Since Lucius Fox and him were working long hours, he suggested that the kids have a sleepover

He regretted it later on bc too much kids in the house

But he was happy that his kiddies were talking to other kids that wasn’t themselves or their cousins

(It still didn’t help their social skills)

He also helped Harley turn a new leaf and got her back on her feet after she finally ended things with her ex

She slowly became the family therapist

Her and Bruce also fixed their friendship and now Bruce regrets Bri going her back in his life

(This is a lie, he actually missed Harley)

Was the one that got her and Pamela the apartment together

Also help both of them finish their degree and even get their doctorate

AND helped them adopt a child together

It was a long process due to their criminal record but nothing money can’t fix

Colin was that child

He’s a little shit but the girls love him

Talia and him had a special night together

(He’s not tied down so it’s not cheating 🙄)

It was back before he even had Dick so he wasn’t with Selina

But that night brought a 9 year old Damian to his foot step when Dick was 13

(Is the math mathing??)

“No more kids, huh” 🤨

“Alfred, I didn’t even know this one existed”

He thought Dick was a hard time???

Damian truly humbled him

Selina loved him but Damian was always guarded with her

He grew to accept her as Bruce’s gf

“We’re not dating Damian”

“Then why tf is she here if your not committed”

Stephanie just added herself to the family after her and Tim started dating

Bruce couldn’t get rid of her after they broke up bc she started dating his daughter

He secretly loves her but honestly she just makes herself at home

Colin is that same way but he’s been here longer then Stephanie so🤷‍♂️

Colin and Damian are besties on accident

- They met at dojo class and was the only one not scared to take Damian 1v1

He got his ass beat, but gave damian a bloody nose so, even!!

Damian is autistic coded

Bruce adopted Duke after Damian

It was the same judge every time

The judge didn’t even hold a trial bc he just wants Bruce out of the court room

“This is the last one Alfred I SWEAR”

“You said that TGE LAST TIME”

It wasn’t but it was t by adopt

He proposed to Selina on Hanukkah/Christmas party when Damian was 12

(Hanukkah/Christmas bc Bruce and Tim are Jewish and raised dick and Jason as Jewish, but Damian, Duke, Cass, and Selina aren’t Jewish)

“I’m not dating her” “we’re not doing any commitment” my ass

It’s been 10 years BRUCE

ANYWWYS she said yes

The kids + other were the wedding party

Damian was the ring barrier

Harley was the maid of honor

Clark was the best man

Other ppl from the league was invited bc Bruce did have other friends in school, but he mostly hanged out with his little group

Selina adopted the kids as her stepchildren

(She loves her little kittens)

They honeymoon in Thailand (Selina is haft Thai)

Another year into their marriage and Selina is pregnant:D

“…”

“…at least this isn’t some kid I found on the street or was from an old fling”

“So you acknowledge that there’s a problem”

They were expecting twins

Bruce is happy to have kids with Selina but some times he wishes he would have stop at Jason

(This is another lie, this man is whipped for his family)

Honestly Bruce is happy how big his family have grown since it was just him and Alfred for so long Alfred is happy that Bruce had grown into such a family man and is happy how he far he’s gone since his rebellious younger years

[enbysiriusblack]

do u think robert pattinson’s batman is closer to regulus? or do u think he’s still closer to remus?

also which dc character would u say is james? (i know next to nothing ab dc and am curious)

okay so. the thing about battinson (robert pattinson's batman) is that he's a young batman, very new to the vigilante life, doesn't have a robin yet, doesn't have the 'brucie wayne' persona. (the brucie wayne persona is batman acting like a clueless, rich brat that just parties a lot and is very Normal and un-emo and couldn't possibly be batman. I'm not going to say it's like a metaphor for autistic ppl masking. but it is)

battinson is the very new version of batman that dc keep putting out (no puns, no silly jokes, no robin, just darkness and loneliness and alfred). because of that, i would say he is quite a lot like regulus rather than remus. tbh the newer version of batman (alone, serious, dark, gloomy) is much more regulus than the original (emo and dark, but silly, playful, a few friends and allies), who is more remus.

remus is every version of batman at his core, in terms of his beliefs and his arc. but regulus is like battinson in terms of the surface level angsty, emo, rich lonely guy who's struggling how to be a hero.

second question: james is, to me, either superman/clark kent or nightwing/dick grayson. both are very optimistic, hopeful, leaders who are huge inspirations for younger heros. like i said in that earlier post; superman thinks of himself as a human, he loves humanity and loves being part of humanity and that's why he's a hero. whilst dick grayson originally came a hero to avenge his parent's death and stayed a hero to help other kids and people. dick is angstier than clark, as well as more flamboyant, confident, and cocky. personally, I'd say dick grayson is hogwarts years james, and clark kent is from like 17/18+ james.

[x-neurodivergent-reader]

Learning From You (Loki x Autistic!Reader) - Part 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Anon’s request: “What ab the first time loki meets an autistic person, and at first he says some kind of offensive stuff but hes not overtly ableist (he's just confused) but he wants to learn more and eventually they get close?”

Summary: When he first met you, Loki assumed that you were merely a shy, but polite person. But as he spends more time around you and notices your differences, not only do you challenge those preconceptions, but you show him that even a mortal can teach him something new.

A/N: Hi! I’m sorry this took so long - I kept getting stuck and having some mental health issues... I also intended for this to be a oneshot, but it was getting a little long for my liking (even after I cut out one part of it, RIP), and I’m also still struggling with another bit, but wanted to get something out - so I decided to split it into a three-parter. I hope you’ll enjoy it!

The reader here is gender-neutral.

Content warnings: Loki being a bit clueless (not an outright dick, mind you), insecure reader... kind of rusty writing?

Tag list: @agent-barnes40

In all honesty, Loki was rather surprised at the lack of security at the tower when the rest of the Avengers were sent on a mission. Specifically, the lack of security around him.

While he felt that he had been in the tower for long enough to prove that he had no ulterior motives, the team was still quite wary of him, to the point that he still had to wear a tracker on his ankle – one from Asgard, after he broke the one the humans had put on him with ease while going to a coffee shop for the first time – and continued to be subjected to their contempt from time to time. It was admittedly rather isolating. Even though he was used to it by now, and could easily feign indifference, that didn’t make him entirely immune to being weighed down by the constant glares and distrust.

Perhaps that was why it felt so freeing to have more of the tower to himself, he thought, before he had decided to take the rare chance of reading one of his books in the lounge, instead of hiding in the secluded corner of the library that he usually visited. It may also have been the reason why, when he heard footsteps approaching the archway between the room and the hallway, his first instinct was to send an icy glare at whoever was about to disturb his peace.

His gaze softened, however, when he noticed that it was you, carrying a black laptop under your arm. You had first joined the team fairly recently, so it came as no surprise that you likely weren’t allowed to go on missions yet. You came to a sudden halt as soon as you saw him sitting on the couch with his book.

“Ah – is it OK if I do my work in here?” You asked, your finger lightly tapping the side of your laptop.

Upon your first meeting, Loki hadn’t thought much of you. Between the way you avoided eye contact, and how you seemed uncomfortable with the idea of shaking anyone’s hands, he initially assumed that you were just shy. It didn’t take him long to find that he was seemingly mistaken, however, as you seemed to be warm up to your teammates reasonably quickly. You even made small, kind gestures towards him when your paths happened to cross, such as smiling at him while passing him in the corridor, or asking if he wanted anything when you were about to go shopping.

Aside from Thor, no other Avenger offered him those same courtesies that you did. You were also rather polite towards him, so your company often felt less intrusive to him than that of anyone else in the tower  – even if, in this case, he would have to deal with the sound of your fingers tapping against your keyboard.

“By all means.” Loki responded, the smallest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips when you thanked him and strode to the dining table.

Loki continued to read his book, the soft clacking noises your laptop made as you typed fading into the background like white noise, thankfully feeling a lot easier to avoid focusing on than he had expected. As time passed, having more space to do whatever he pleased, as well as the company of someone who didn’t hate or distrust him, made him feel more content than he had in quite a while. If he was able to have moments like this more often, he could definitely get used to it…

…or so he thought until around half an hour later, when he saw you moving out of the corner of his eye.

Confused, Loki looked up at you, and noticed that you were evidently rocking in your seat, while tapping your fingers against your cheeks as you were lost in thought over what to write next. It looked so natural for you, that you didn’t seem to notice that you were doing it.

Wondering why you were, Loki called your name. You glanced up at him – or, rather, in his general direction – but you didn’t stop rocking or tapping your cheeks.

“What exactly you are doing?” He inquired, his bewilderment making his question sound somewhat less benign than he had intended, much to his dismay.

Your eyes widened as you realised what Loki was asking about, and you immediately stopped what you were doing. He noticed the way your body visibly slouched the moment you stopped rocking, as though this was far from the first time someone had reacted to you in this way, and he started to regret asking at all.

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled, and Loki’s frustration with himself worsened at just how sad you sounded. “…is it distracting you?”

“No – no, it’s quite all right.” He spoke carefully, hoping to make it clear that he merely found your actions unusual, rather than off-putting. “I was just wondering. You do not have to tell me if you would rather not.”

“It’s okay”, you shook your head, “I’m used to it… Basically, I’m autistic, and it’s called stimming – it’s one of the only ways for me to deal with sensory problems and stress, or to process information, or just… get rid of some extra energy. If I try to stop doing it, all of that builds up, and it gets really stressful and painful to deal with.”

Loki was admittedly surprised by your answer. He had heard of autism once or twice since living on Earth, but hadn’t rushed to learn anything more of it, as he didn’t expect to have any use for such knowledge. As a result, he was regretfully rather uninformed about the subject...

...but now, he was very curious.

“May I ask a couple of questions?” He inquired, hoping it wouldn’t bother you too much to allow him to learn from you, or at least give him some resources where he could find out more for himself. “I would like to understand better, if that is all right.”

You briefly froze, your eyes widening again. Apparently, you hadn’t expected him to want to learn more – judging from your reactions so far, Loki wondered if the response you were used to getting was less than positive. Considering how he had seen humans act towards differences before, it unfortunately wouldn’t surprise him.

“Um… OK?” You sounded unsure, but thankfully not uncomfortable, as you got up and closed your laptop, walking over to sit on the couch with him. “I might not be the best at answering them, but I can try.”

“Thank you.” Loki copied your gesture, placing his bookmark in his book and keeping it flat on his lap, giving you his full attention. “Are there any other… actions like this that you do? Do they help you in different ways?”

“Yeah…” Your hand reached up to your cheek again, your fingers gently tapping against it as you thought about your answer. “…sometimes I flap my hands when I’m excited, since it feels like the best way for me to release that energy. Rocking and tapping my cheek – like I’m doing now – are kind of… I don’t really need to feel anything to do them? I guess they help me to concentrate on my thoughts, or something like that. I also have a few vocal stims, and as long as I’m not stressed out or anxious, I also like pressure stims. I have a weighted blanket for that, since I can’t stand people touching or hugging me.”

“Is this touch aversion related to your autism, as well? I noticed it when you were first introduced to us.” Loki pointed out.

“Yeah, it is. So’s the fact that I don’t make eye contact – there’s something about it that feels too… intimate, I guess? It’s too much to handle.” As you spoke, you seemed like you were starting to feel self-conscious again, as though you realised just how different your perception of social skills was. “That… doesn’t make me seem rude, does it?”

Admittedly, this wasn’t the easiest question for Loki to answer. On the one hand, he was raised with the belief that eye contact was important for his regal image, and it also appeared to be expected among humans – or those in America, at the very least. On the other hand…

“At the time, I merely assumed that you were shy about meeting so many new people. It was obvious, but quite understandable.”

You chuckled a little at his answer, sheepishly looking away as your body started to rock slightly. “There were a lot more people there than I expected, so you weren’t entirely wrong. It was pretty overwhelming, to be honest, but I managed to recover.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over you both, as Loki thought about what to do next. The idea of apologising to someone – especially a mortal – that he wasn’t familiar with often made Loki feel rather disconcerted. It felt like a blow to his pride, to essentially confess that he isn’t perfect to someone he was used to being perceived as a higher being by.

However, in this particular case, he felt that it was the only thing he could do, lest he risk losing one of the only respectful relations he has on the team. Purely for convenience, of course.

“Well… I’m unclear as to whether you consider your autism to be a private matter, but if it is, I can assure you that it was not my intention to intrude. I also meant no disrespect when I asked you about your stimming. I’m… sorry if I upset you in any way.”

Hearing his apology, the corners of your lips twitched up. Although it didn’t quite reach your eyes, it was the smallest hint of the pleasant smile you always offered him in passing – the one that made him feel just the tiniest bit more welcome in the tower.

“Don’t worry about it,” you assured him, standing up again, most likely to get back to doing your work, “but are you sure it’s not distracting you at all? I can move to the library or something, if it is.”

“Not at all. Please, continue your work in here – and stim to your heart’s content.” Loki sent you a friendly smirk, and your own smile widened – to the point that it looked much more genuine – and a small, easily-ignored part of him felt accomplished.

Thanking him, you walked back to the dining table, opening your laptop again, while he picked up where he had left off in his book. In all honesty, he had never expected a conversation with a human to be so insightful – it wasn’t every day that he learnt something new like this, especially since he had read so many of the stories and information that Earth had to offer. You were even more fascinating to him than your kindness had led him to believe.

From what he gathered, there would be quite a lot to learn – but to help him understand you better, he decided, it would be worth it.

[whetstonefires]

Thank you for your comment about personality disorder stigma on that empathy vs. mirroring post. As a Probably Allistic who's dx'd Cluster B, it's always something else coming across any of the multiple #actuallyautistic posts out there that can be summarized as: "STOP painting autistic people as remorseless narcissist-psychopaths - maybe it's harder for us to express, but we DO feel our fellow human beings, and we ARE capable of love, unlike those abusive, *truly* empathy-lacking freaks!!" -

- which makes me feel very.... shut the fuck up maybe? Only *I* get to call me a loveless psychopath?? Are you aware that there exist autistic people with personality disorders and/or by-your-definition Evil Psychopath Lack of Empathy, and you've wound up and punted them under the bus as well??? Anyways it's rare for people to speak up on behalf of PD havers, and I really appreciate that you did.

Aw, thank you for the message! This is good to hear. I was pretty nervous about that post add, honestly. Disagreeing with an angry person is always scary! (For me lol.)

And once I'd edited my addition down to the essential points, having learned over time that exhaustive covering of every possible point of ambiguity etc just annoys people and doesn't really aid communication, I felt like I'd probably become so imprecise as to be rudely reductive.

But it seemed important to say! So I'm glad. To hear you found it constructive. 😄✌

Heh yeah I thought about the people in the overlap zone too but I didn't think bringing that up would do anything but sow confusion--like, I wanted to keep it clear that this was a disagreement over categorization systems and being a dick about other people's brains, and not come across as trying to like, subtext, 'hey op i disagree with your experience of autism so much i'm going to hint i think you are in fact a psychopath.' Which I do not. And also it would be none of my business anyway.

But yeah, it's like--it pisses me off. Too. The language around empathy is both inadequate and seriously in flux so it's not that I care whether people use 'the right words'--I'm suspicious of demands to use the 'right' words in order to be allowed to speak--but that sentiment rubs me the wrong way. Especially in the context of autism!

Like, I often say insensitive or clueless things because I can't model other people's mental states well enough or fast enough to figure out how it's going to sound outside my head, or pick up hints I'm 'supposed' to, or because I get so wrapped up in what I'm talking about that I forget to even try, which plays out functionally as self-absorption. Decades of practice and I'm still deeply sub-par at this.

And I've gotten so much shit for it! Both as power plays and because it's caused some real harm and hurt feelings, and those categories don't sort neatly into boxes, either. Sometimes it's both. This is just, a lot of misery associated with my deficits.

(Mostly for me but like, I'm not going to pretend my obnoxiousness is without consequences.)

But you can also see people with perfectly normal base empathy stats be just as bad, when it's someone they don't want to care about, or they're tired, or they're dealing with someone sufficiently different from themselves that their assumptions trip them up. That shit's not magic.

A bunch of times I've seen people with really high empathy stats be, like...everyone knows about the kind of asshole with high empathic perception but low reactivity who uses it for evil. That's a cliche. But you know what's not any less scary and way more volatile? Someone who's got high marks in both kinds and is furiously angry with you for making them feel bad.

Because having a knee-jerk empathetic reaction to someone's hurt when you don't feel sympathetic toward them is really annoying, and can tend to feel like manipulation even when it isn't.

It's very easy for a high-empathy person with power over others to slip into abusing those people in retribution for the pain their pain causes.

I have absolutely been punished for triggering someone's empathy reactions in a way they don't like, just by existing! It sucks! Sometimes these are people with like, strong natural empathy who haven't learned good skills for processing it etc, but sometimes it's the socially adept people who are really sweet and kind and supportive and thoughtful in like 90% of life so therefore you must deserve it, when that doesn't extend to you.

But sometimes they've just burned themselves out on the rest of the world and you're inconvenient or too much or some other disqualifying thing, so you just. Are their exception. The one they get to kick.

An empathetic person who has wronged you can go absolutely feral about making it your fault. Because otherwise they're stuck feeling twice as bad, once reactively and once in guilt.

Theoretically, ideally, this is a control mechanism that keeps people from wronging one another in the first place, that's why we link empathy and morality as much as we do, but it...doesn't necessarily work that way. Sometimes it just works out to a motive for dehumanization.

Because that's the lower-effort route to less mental pain.

...and if you're in the habit of just trusting your natural impulses to ensure you behave decently, you can develop a whole entire toxic coping mechanism down that route before you even notice you're doing anything wrong. Instinct is not a sufficient substitute for self-reflection and principle even when you're naturally blessed with good ones!

So like. My point being. That someone's empathic capacity on any scale is just a tool they have to use, that usually makes it easier and/or more likely for them to achieve pro-social conduct on a regular basis the more they've got to work with, although it does have the capacity to backfire.

It's statistically predictive, to an extent. But it doesn't actually guarantee jack shit about whether a person can or will exercise compassion.

You know?

So I feel like autism and that cluster of personality disorders are in very similar boats with excessive emphasis on...social toolsets as definitional to personhood, rather than factors affecting social cohesion etc. So when I see that kind of side-punching. Feels bad.

[abbacchiosbelt]

Fire Emblem | Mobile Masterlist ⚔️

Fire Emblem [General Tag]

fe.txt [General Tag and Musings]

Fire Emblem: Three Houses & fe3h.txt

Fire Emblem: Fates & fef.txt

Fire Emblem: Awakening & fea.txt

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Black Eagles

Edelgard Helping Out Her Depressed S/O

Edelgard w/Fat F!/SO

“I’ll consider kissing you if you beat me.” [Edelgard, Fic]

Fluffy Relationship Headcanons w/Edelgard

Anal Headcanons [Giving & Receiving]

Tag Prompt Generator [Dorothea]

“You’re…really close right now.” [Ferdinand, Fic]

“You’re so cute when you’re struggling.” [Hubert, Fic]

Reactions to Edelgard & F!Byleth Announcing Their Marriage

Blue Lions

Dimitri Helping Out His Depressed S/O

How Dimitri, Felix, and Sylvain Hold Their Liquor

Anal Headcanons [Giving & Receiving]

Dimitri w/Fat F!/SO

Fluffy Relationship Headcanons w/Dimitri

"You're really red right now." [Sylvain, Fic]

"[pins __ to floor]” / “[pins __ to wall]" [Sylvain, Fic]

Dimitri Dick Headcanons

Poly DimiDue Drabble

Kinktober Day 7 - Humiliation/Spanking | Waves - Sylvain Jose Gautier x Reader - [Not SFW, Fic]

Golden Deer

Claude Helping Out His Depressed S/O

Claude w/Fat F!/SO

“…Do we always end up on top of each other?” [Lorenz, Fic]

Poly ClaudeHilda Headcanons with a Clueless S/O

Anal Headcanons [Giving & Receiving]

Fluffy Relationship Headcanons w/Claude

Monastery

Seteth Confessions

Fire Emblem: Fates

Nohr

Keaton SFW & NSFW Headcanons

Camilla Helping Her Autistic S/O Calm Down

Glass Arrows  - Leo x Corrin - [Angst, Fic, Past TakuKamu]

On Letting Go - Leo x Corrin - [Sequel to Glass Arrows, Angst, Pregnancy, Past TakuKamu]

Underneath - Leo x Takumi x Corrin - [Not SFW, Fic]

Intricacies - Leo x Takumi x Corrin - [Fluff, Angst, Fic, Multi Chapter]

Hoshido

Underneath - Leo x Takumi x Corrin - [Not SFW, Fic]

Intricacies - Leo x Takumi x Corrin - [Fluff, Angst, Fic, Multi Chapter]

Take Me - Kamui x Kaze - [Not SFW, Fic]

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Kinktober Day 3 - Dom & Sub | Cherche x F!Reader [Not SFW, Fic]

Kinktober Day 6 - Period Sex/Edging | Tharja x F!Reader [Not SFW, Fic]

Confessions

Fire Emblem Confession

[ourimpavidheroine]

You've given us your favorite records, so how about your favorite movies?

Okay, sure! Under a cut though, because it’s long.

In no particular order!

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Oh my god, one of the funniest movies ever made. Every single thing about this movie makes me laugh out loud - in fact, I laughed so loud in the theater when I saw it the first time I’m surprised they didn’t kick my ass out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched and re-watched it. My late wife and I used to quote this film back and forth to each other all the time. 

“Arms, Clary!”

“That was unexpected.”

“I’ve got my happy face on today!”

There’s a lovely little romance going on and a quote that I live by:

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Thank you, Baz Luhrmann. 

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

Screwball comedy romance with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn. Still funny, over 80 years later. Mistaken identities, a harrassed archeologist and a clueless rich girl, so on and so forth. If you watch it, you will see shades of Wu and Sayuri in Susan, for sure. (And some Zu in David.) The comedic timing of this movie is sheer and utter perfection. Not a single beat wasted. Brilliant, the entire thing.

Moonstruck (1987)

God, what isn’t there to love about this movie? CHER. A woman coming up on middle age who has settled into widowhood without a whimper decides to marry a man she’s fond of for no other reason than she thinks she should meets the fiance’s younger brother and her entire life goes, as her Italian Catholic mother says in the middle of church, “...down the toilet.” This movie was handled with so much love and care, it deserved its Oscars. If you’ve never seen it, you should.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

I saw this movie the one and only time I visited the States after I moved to Finland. I had left my wife here in Finland but had my 20 month old autistic twins along and my mother was being beyond horrible to me and I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. There was one afternoon where my favorite uncle came to me, gave me his car, and told me he was going to watch the kids and for me to go out and have a breather. I decided to see a movie - I can’t remember which one - but the paper had gotten the time wrong and it had already started by the time I got there. I asked the woman selling tickets what she recommended that was coming up and she very fervently told me to go and see this one.

Still one of the best movies I have ever seen. The acting is so subtle, so beautiful, and the scenery! The ending broke me, just shattered me into a million pieces. Years later, when my wife died, I knew exactly that feeling of desperately wanting to go back in time and somehow do it all right and all I can say is, both Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi get all of my love forever for doing it the way they did.

I bought it when it finally came out on DVD with English subtitles and I made my late wife watch it with me and she sobbed at the end and told me I was cruel for making her watch it. (Guess what, babe? You were crueler for making me live it.)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Normally I am not all that keen on books being made into movies. I fucking loved Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith and wasn’t sure about it being taken out of its Victorian England setting into 1930′s Korea but oh my god I have never been happier to have been proved wrong in my life. THIS FILM. Listen, it is one of those rare times when a book and an adaptation can stand next to each other, equally as good, equally as strong, despite the differences. There is so much to unpack about women’s experiences with sex and how that compares to how men dictate those experiences to them and the movie never drops the ball with this. Frankly, I had seen Oldboy and Snowpiercer (among others) and I really did not think Park Chan-wook had it in him and shame on me for that.

Warning: this movie is HOT.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

This is a damn good movie. Charlize Theron elevates anything she is in, and as Furiosa - dirty, grim, disabled, clinging on to tattered hope with desperation - she just takes this film to another level. Plenty of other good performances - including Tom Hardy, who’s never afraid to drop himself into a role - and some frankly astonishing editing work by Margaret Sixel as well as a male director who understands, deeply, how to film women without subjecting them to the male gaze. This is not a schlock film, despite the franchise it belongs in. It’s good.

I saw this film the night before my wife died; the last time I spoke to her on the phone I told her that I’d take her with me to see it again, I knew she’d like it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to separate this film from that loss, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Still wish you could have seen it, babe. You would have loved it.

The Great Race (1965)

Is this a great movie? Not critically speaking, although Jack Lemmon is brilliant, as he almost always is. Rather, it was a movie my father and I loved together, and I have so many good memories of watching it with him whenever it would play on TV (these were the years before VHS even, never mind Netflix) and eating popcorn and laughing together.

We loved the huge pie fight scene so much that on my 16th birthday my father bought 3 dozen store bought pies, defrosted them and/or baked them (with the help of our neighbor, who was in on the secret) and he woke me up that morning, told me to get dressed and come outside, and he got me with a pie to the face right as I walked out the door and the two of us chased each other, throwing and dodging pies, making an unholy mess, slipping and sliding all over our deck and driveway, stumbling and laughing hysterically.

It is one of the best memories in my life. How many other girls can say their fathers gave them a pie fight for their sweet sixteen? This movie makes me laugh and, more importantly, remember my father with so much love.

The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

I did love all three of these films. Were they perfect? No. (I am still salty about Faramir’s entire movie arc and the fact that Merry was just Pippin 2.0 instead of the distinct character he was in the books.) But they were made with so much love and heart by people who loved and cared deeply for the source material. And they were astonishing in scope as well. Just glorious to see in the theater.

I first read those books when my father lent me his copies when I was eight and they were a vital part of my growing up; to see Peter Jackson and his entire cast and crew love them as much as I did was genuinely special for me.

The other two films are just as good with some astonishing moments (Billy Boy’s last minute song in The Return of the King still gives me goosebumps) but this was the first one, and just remembering holding my wife’s hand as we both gasped together over the scope of it was a memory I will keep with me always.

When my wife and I went to see this one here in Finland I was pregnant with my twins and I was like, oh my god, please die already Boromir because were twins on my bladder and I knew if I didn’t get to a toilet soon it was going to be all over. (It was a long movie without a pee break for a pregnant person, let me just say.) I was never happier for a tragic end to a movie in my life, LOL.

The Matrix (1999)

Dude. Dude. Just the concept of this movie. The Wachowski sisters have never limited themselves and that’s what makes them so different and so exciting. One of the greats of Sci Fi and, as far as I am concerned, one of the greats bar none. Yeah sure, I know it isn’t a critical darling but lord, I am not a film critic, just someone who loves movies. And I love this one. 

(And excuse you, Elon and the rest of you alt-right men’s groups, you dicks, for appropriating the whole blue/red pill thing: it’s a concept from two trans sisters, so fuck right off with that.)

My best friend, who saw it with me the first time (I took my late wife to see it later in the year when she arrived in the States) laughed at the whole little kid with spoon scene. That’s like listening to you, she said. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth or whether I’ll understand it in the moment but it will eventually make sense to me. Which pretty well sums me up, I think. And this movie as well.

The Piano (1993)

There is a moment, in this gorgeous, deeply beautiful, aching film, where Harvey Keitel fingers a small hole in Holly Hunter’s stocking and it is the most erotic heterosexual thing I have ever seen. Trust a woman director to understand why women would love this. There’s Harvey Keitel’s character: older, soft around the middle, barely literate, covered with traditional facial tattoos. He’s nobody’s idea of hot. But he understands what this woman in particular needs, understands what she is telling him without words, and that’s what he gives her and it is erotic beyond measure. It’s not about what he looks like; it’s about how he understands her.

Holly Hunter does this movie without speaking a single word or getting any subtitles and short of a few brief translations by Anna Paquin playing her young daughter still manages to express herself. It’s brilliant acting. (And look, I know - today we’d look for an actress who was mute to play the role, and rightfully so. It still doesn’t take away from Hunter’s performance.)

Ada drowned in the original script but Jane Campion changed it at the last minute when filming and it was the right choice. The absolute right choice. Ada deserves her freedom and her chance to pursue her own happiness.

[ti-bae-rius]

I’m currently planning my nanowrimo project this year and it involves an ace-aro girl who gives anonymous advice to her peers about sex, relationships, body image, etc.

Issue:

I don’t have a fucking clue what 16-17 year olds worry about nowadays (and I was pretty clueless when I was 16 - 5 years ago now).

I never really worried about that stuff because I’m autistic and oblivious to most shite SO

If you recently graduated from school or you’re in your final years...what stresses you out? What would you want to ask or admit anonymously? It can be anything, from “I like my best friend’s boyfriend” to “I highkey think I’m gay” or anything else you fancy. So far people overwhelmingly the most stressful thing for people has been their virginity (which I wouldn’t have expected but then I’m ace so why would I?) or lack thereof.

Obviously I won’t use any of these, I’ll just collate common themes and trends.

Send me an Anon - I won’t post any of them. Mark them with a 📔 book emoji or smth if you like, or just put (book) to be super sure. But I’m not posting any, just getting themes.

Thanks in advance!

(Also before anyone gets on my dick, I’m from the U.K. The book is set in the U.K. 16 is the age of consent in the U.K. All is well and legal in my writing. Cheers.)

[loreweaver-universe]

I’ve had a couple of people express confusion about the fact that I hate this kid so much more than the genuinely gross asshole creep Kawazu, so let’s go on a tangent and talk about someone I hate talking about in any way, shape, or form: Christine Weston Chandler.

And boy howdy should you stop reading here if you don’t like hearing about this creep, because--not joking--my autistic ass has nightmares about her.

CWC is the autistic author of the infamously awful webcomic Sonichu, wherein a Sonic/Pikachu OC has adventures in a utopian town populated by other Sonic character/Pokemon fusions.  It’s poorly drawn, even more poorly written, and would have been consigned to the heap of innocently terrible internet fancomics except for two things.

First, Sonichu caught the attention of 4chan.

Second, Sonichu held the attention of 4chan, because Christine is the walking fusion of the worst social stereotypes of autistic people and basement-dwelling neckbeards.

We’re talking about someone who once walked through a crowded mall trailing a paper heart on a string, “fishing” for a true love.  Completely seriously.  Someone who has been banned from several places for creeping on people and given restraining orders multiple times if I recall correctly.  Someone who would sign off the end of Sonichu chapters with a completely serious “Remember, stay straight, kids!”  That’s just a small sampling of her antics--which she completely unironically thought were normal behavior, mind you--and that’s not even getting into her squabbles with 4chan.

4chan mocked CWC, as 4chan is wont to do.  CWC responded directly, attempting to refute their mocking jabs as if you could argue with trolls in any kind of successful manner.  When they ramped up their mockery in return, she ramped up alongside them, eventually culminating in trolling wars with such highlights as tracing her dick to prove it wasn’t weirdly shaped and devoting an entire section of Sonichu to a trial of her biggest and most vocal trolls that ended with their torture and violent deaths.

God, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  I spent a couple nights voraciously reading up everything I could on her back when I stumbled across this walking nightmare in college, and have regretted it ever since.  If this account sounds vague, it’s because I’ve blotted out and aggressively avoided anything to do with CWC in the last five years or so because of what she does to me psychologically.  Talking about her tends to give me panic attacks, actually, but since Paranoia Agent episodes seem to be the Loreweaver Talks About Mental Illness Power Hour, let’s lay this out.

I am autistic.  I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at age 21 prior to it being merged with the general autism diagnosis, and that retroactively explained SO much about the way I acted as a child and growing up--the stuff that was in retrospect sensory issues or my having the social skills of a dry clam, for example.  (One of the primary defining traits of autistic folk, as far as I have experienced, is that we simply don’t come packaged with the mental software that absorbs, processes, and replicates subtle, situational, or nonverbal social cues and language that neurotypical people have installed right out of the gate.)  As a child, my only diagnoses were ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder; the doctors at the time didn’t even think to think that somebody as evidently “functional” as me, with a high tested IQ, could be described as autistic.  Medical understanding of autism has come a long way since then, but growing up, all I knew was that other kids thought I was weird, and that I got interesting reactions out of them by playing it up and taunting them about it.

That all changed when I was a little older than Yuichi.

Heading out of middle school, I was upset that people didn’t like me--what wasn’t to like?  I was so much smarter and more fun than any of them--and lamenting the cruelty of the world when I got to thinking.

It’s a long story and this post is already getting long, but the short version is that I figured out the whole “If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole” principle, and then dedicated my teenage years to mentally beating myself up if I stepped out of line from how I thought a neurotypical person would act.  I didn’t know the words “pass for neurotypical” at the time, of course, but I wrapped myself tighter and tighter around those vague and nebulous rules until I started to crack under the pressure.  I developed chronic depression and an untreated anxiety disorder, and that little voice in the back of your head?  The one that lists out every embarrassing thing you’ve done when it’s three in the morning and you’re begging your body for sleep?   That was on full blast, all the time.

I am who I am today because I forced myself to learn how to understand and appreciate other people, but I did it in such a damaging way that it was essentially chronic self-harm...and when I see other people who don’t understand the lessons I whipped myself with all those years, who act not just in socially clueless ways but in actively creepy ways or condescending narcissistic ways, that voice in the back of my head starts shouting again about how terrible I am and how many mistakes I’ve made.

Every time I come across CWC in a discussion on the internet, this happens.   Every time.  I’m having kind of a rough time typing all of this out, actually.  CWC is the worst timeline version of myself.  She’s emotionally stunted, narcissistic, arrogant in spite of her incompetence, and most importantly, at least when I last looked into her seriously, was completely incurious and unwilling to consider self-improvement.  She is my worst self-loathing made flesh, and my emotional reaction to coming across people that embody the worst aspects of myself, the ones I’ve done my best to purge over the years?  It’s high-strung, turbulent anger.

In the same way that I see a lot of who I could have become in CWC, I see a lot of who I was in Yuichi--the smugness, the arrogance, the self-importance, the condescension, the narcissism.  Unlike Kawazu, who has underdog elements and actually is shown working and struggling for his goals to some extent--and whose job is literally to ask questions and investigate things--Yuichi is just...an ass. THAT is why I react so much more violently to him than to Kawazu.   Kawazu is regular, mundane awfulness; Yuichi is a dark mirror of myself.

Man, that sounds pretentious, doesn’t it.

Anyways. I’m gonna go take a quick break after typing all of this up.  Whoof.   That’s why I dislike the kid so much, emotional reactions, self-loathing, yadda yadda.  See you in a couple minutes for the rest of the session.

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Not A Feel / Questions

- I frequently say phrases but i dont hear them in my vioce, i hear them as how i heard someoen i know say it. Like its my voice aloud but not in my head is that a form of echolalia?

Honestly, I have no idea.

- Before, I only used to stim with my legs in relatively subtle ways, but after I started looking into autism and started finding out about other people's stims, I started feeling the urge to stim more often/in other ways. (Ex: I read about how people on the spectrum enjoyed rocking and hand flapping so I decided to see what it felt like. Now I notice myself wanting to do it more often) im undiagnosed and idk it just makes me feel like im subconsiously trying to make myself seem "more autistic" :(

That’s normal. Most people become more aware of their symptoms when they realize they have a condition.

- Is it possible for someone with autism to be ok with making eye contact? I know one of the first/most famous signs is a kid not making eye contact but I'm pretty sure I didn't have a problem with it when I was younger, so I'm doubting whether I actually am autistic

Yes it’s possible. You don’t need to have every symptom to meet the diagnostic criteria.

- Sorry this is a question and I know you guys are more of a trait blog but I’m so clueless and don’t know who else to ask. I’m wondering if it’s worth pursuing a diagnosis? I want to, work is becoming harder to cope with when I’m overwhelmed and I’ve had to walk away to cry a lot recently but I also saw an ask a while ago from another person in the UK who got diagnosed but offered no support at all. Does that mean I’ll just be abandoned if I’m diagnosed? I feel really alone rn.

I’m not in the UK so I can’t say what it’s like over there, but if you want to pursue a diagnosis I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

- Everytime someone shows up late I get really overwhelmed, is that an autistic thing?

Sounds like anxiety, but could be related to autism because it breaks routine or something.

- does this sound like echolalia? whenever i hear people laughing, i start laughing too. i won't even be listening into their conversation, but if i hear laughter, you better believe ya boi is gonna join in without thinking. i won't even mentally feel it if that makes sense? like i won't be finding anything funny yet i'll be laughing as if i do. -misterstims

Yeah sounds like it. Simply put, echolalia is the pointless repetition of sounds and phrases.

- Hey, I used to do silly voices all the time and it made me really happy -- I still do it sometimes, but definitely not as much as when I was younger -- and I was wondering if that could have been a form of stimming?

Yeah it could be.

- i cant always tell if ppl are joking or not and my friends make me feel really guilty bc of it (they dont know that im highly suspected to be on the spectrum, and they make autistic jokes all the time i hate it). thing is, i can't stop being friends with them cos we go to the same school (and its pretty small, i literally cannot avoid them).

Your friends sound shitty. Tell them that you can’t help it and that them making you feel bad for it is uncalled for. It takes $0 for them to clarify if they’re joking without being dicks about it.

- Any advice on breaking/changing routines? I want to be able to draw during the day but I’m stuck doing it at night. I get panicky when I’m out the house late with friends or something because it ‘feels wrong’ and I want to change that so I can draw during the day and stay out later. Also holidays are bad for the first day or two, especially sleeping because everything is ‘too different’. I feel stupid cos no one else seems to have this problem and it should be easy to do but it’s not.

I don’t have any rigid routines myself, do any of our followers have advice?

[rametarin]

Kind of annoyed. Saw a comic on twitter.

Okay, so.. A guy wrote a comic on twitter talking about how feminsts should stop using the term ‘neckbeard.’ In order to do so, they appealed to their stated beliefs that you shouldn’t “punch down.”

He argued neckbeard as a term has origins in people belittling men, near specifically, for being ungroomed, smelly, socially awkward to pathetic.

He argued it was classist, and that the term discriminated against the mentally disabled/autistic. That it was a stealth criticism of those with autism. That it was so often characterized as making fun of someone for being overweight. That it penalized those with executive dysfunction for ther poor grooming habits.

All these things are vaguely true, but they’re true in a way that misses the BIGGER reasons why the term neckbeard exists as an insult and an archetype at all.

It started in the early 00s. Some progressive, woke-ish but utterly socially clueless nerds started feeling confident in their nerdery on the internet. Youtube Atheism got popular. Lots of poor nerds started buying vintage kinds of hats, ala Trilbies, porkpies, fedoras and sporting them. You know, to be vintage cool and hip. They started trying to grow facial hair, but uhm... to mixed results.

So, ‘those people’ became associated with youtube atheism. Militant anti-religion. Which, like Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s reputation, kind of hit the ground and shattered when that got old. Then they just became associated with angry post-gradeschool frustration at having been forced to go to sunday school.

But, that wasn’t enough. They needed more reason to see Neckbeards as awful people. And what happens to men who become minorly irritating? Women try to find correlations and links to other groups and varieties/archetypes of men that are similar and don’t like, squish them, either artificially or because there’s overlap, and suddenly both groups of men become indistinct and the other group defines the worst qualities for the other. They become the same.

There was a subset of these socially clueless fedora wearing hipster types that would privately blog frustrations with women. Some just upset that no matter how nice, how positive, how reasonable, girls just never went for them or were receptive to their advances. They complained about women wasting their time with “cute boys” that were huge fucking assholes. Now, like all shades-of-grey things in the world, there’s truth to this. Somewhat.

However, the Neckbeards became defined by the most convenient and extreme examples of this entitled, whiny, pathetic and sometimes brazenly misogynistic pattern of men on the internet. So, Neckbeard also became synonymous with the kind of guy that’d rush up with “SALUTATIONS, M’LADY. I AM A CHIVALROUS AND FRIENDLY MALE, NOT LIKE THE COMMON RUBBISH.” and then wonder why bitches weren’t falling over to suck his dick, like he “thought they should.”

And through this avenue, the once synonymously atheist community was replaced in the mental consensus with neckbeards also associated with conservatism, due to the (apparent) widespread misogyny. Of the worst examples of some losers who may be adjacent to losers wearing fedoras, trilbies and porkpies. Because men are judged by the company their company keeps. Always.

Now that the mental connection was made between childish, smelly, obese, entitled, oblivious, spoiled-rotten-by-their-parents and ungroomed neckbearded manbaby was made, they then stuck the worst parts they didn’t like together and painted the Neckbeard archetype with them. First they associated Neckbeard with “Return of Kings” type misogynists, whom believe “a woman’s place is the kitchen” and other TradCon literal patriarchal bullshit, and “MRAs.” You know. Because if you believe in Men’s Rights, clearly you are a mincing, patriarchal and misogynistic loser.

And so the modern idea of the Neckbeard was born. An utterly oblivious, almost ubiquitously caucasian fat guy with bad hair, bad genes, so socially maladjusted so as to be confused for autistic without the “no ablism” protection, woman-hating, poorly groomed, bad hygiene, irresponsible dork. Who probably owns a sword and unironically practices swordsmanship.

Didja think Ronaldo was just synonymous with Comic Book Guy? Just another wacky, zany nerd. Well, no. Like everyhing else about Steven Universe, Ronaldo is an indirect dig at a greater subject, “politely” buried under soft pastel colors.

Back when Internet/Youtube Atheism was getting cozy with the resurgence of Internet Feminism, now primarily motivated at its core by Intersectionality, Class Struggle Theory and Privilege Theory, they regrouped and formed “Atheism +.” Unfortunately, the honeymoon was soon over. Since a largely white and male group did not like being told, “If you are white and male, shut up. You do not get to speak over minorities by challenging or objecting to their lived experiences.”

In essence, Atheism +(plus) tried to consolidate the Youtbe Atheist community into their ranks and get them into lockstep with their philosophy, mobilizing them into their brand of activism.

The Neckbeards walked out, largely.

Ronaldo is the Intersectional Feminist’s logical conclusion of a typical privileged neckbearded white dude “trying to co-opt their movements” (haha. Atheism +) and dictate to everybody else what to do (IE, not do everything the intersectional feminists tell them.) Feigning being “woke” in order to “hang out with them” and be in their ranks. Pretending to be like them, but ultimately being completely dissimilar and without merit. 

Unlike other cartoon and pop-culture depictions of The Neckbeard, however, Sugar begrudgingly admits something: Ronaldo was right about virtually everything he theorized about, despite deliberately being told nothing by the world around him (which wanted to keep him and everyone like him out of the loop, for both safety and convenience) and coming to his own conclusons, and integral to many stories. Even if he didn’t understand how he was helping.

So. I guess in summation, I’m annoyed that the guy on twitter made the comic and only appealed to these people using their own social justice logic. They’re still in their own little bubble. They still miss the greater hypocrisy and reason why using the term neckbeard is so hypocritical. The real reasons violate their beliefs that you can’t “punch down” by insulting men, or white people. How neckbeard is just a chimera made of exaggerated stereotypes of every kind of man that they hate and maximized in order to paint the even slightly disagreeable actions or appearance of a man and unfairly associate them with all the extremes of being a neckbeard.

They just made it socially taboo to say that word. Now its just become another kabuki performance when someone “doesn’t get the memo” and needs a groomable “teachable moment” about how the term is “classist, sexist, ablist and” etc.

They’re STILL going to create a term that when applied to someone they don’t like or is saying something they don’t want to hear, makes it THAT PERSON’s fault they don’t like them or don’t want to hear them. But it’ll probably strictly define it as an alistic person that just happens to be a dork. “A jerk but not because he has mental health issues,” in a word.

[nocturnical]

I’m elaborating on my former Mr. Bean post because I hate putting a long, somewhat personally revealing response into a reblog. Also, I’ve been told it’s bad etiquette (which may or may not be true, honestly I know dick-all about etiquette on Tumblr or elsewhere I’m horrible with it) and it just feels weird... Anyway...

Actually, Bean is an alien. You know, that intro at the beginning of every episode with the beam of light and choral music?

Although, I’m intrigued at the difference between the two possible scenarios. If he’s an autistic human you’re a monster for laughing at him, but laughing at a clueless alien is okay. I'm not so sure of that.

Also, I think the humor lies in the fact that the things Bean does are oddly funny but also very uncomfortable. I get uncomfortable watching Bean hide Steak Tartare in a dinner roll, candleholder, etc... because I know he doesn’t know any better and I also know it’s “bad” behavior. The episode where he’s in a line waiting to shake hands with the queen (or some other royalty, it’s been awhile) but has his hands down his pants is somewhat excruciating.

But my wacky levels of discomfort come from being a socially awkward loser that is likely to commit some less obvious faux pas and feel entirely as alien as he is supposed to be.

Anyway, I’m no standard but if ‘normal’ people have some level of that creeping embarrassment when watching attached to the fact that it’s funny to watch a guy fucking with his fly while the queen is standing three people away. It definitely adds to the punchline, especially when Bean is defiant or doesn’t seem to learn a damn thing from his awkward encounters.

The series can actually be very smart. Watch where it pokes at the nonsense in our society. You may be laughing at Bean but you’re also laughing the pretension and bullshit we dole out and/or encounter day to day.

My real butthurt for Bean comes from the fact that Atkinson got more notoriety for playing Mr. Bean, which dragged on to include a couple of subpar movies that are all most of the folks in the US have been exposed to (unless they are PBS viewers). Then you mention Blackadder to someone and they don’t know what you’re talking about. Blackadder is Rowan Atkinson at his best. The Blackadder series are really well written and have great supporting roles played by Tony Robinson, Miranda Richardson, and Hugh Laurie. Blackadder the Third and Blackadder Goes Forth are my personal favorites.

...And I’ll shut up about long ago British television series now. 

[omegangrins]

“Levi Dillon Burzlaff to Kat Hiltz - August 23, 2007

somebody's being a i lost the game whore....uh uhm.......hey everybody who reads this lost the game. oh and school sucks hard dick hope its better for you. peace. love you forever. lets see ty or evan say that. oh and everytime i hear the song smile like you mean it by the killers i want to come to wherever you're at and make out with you. just throwing it out there.

Kat Hiltz to Levi Dillon Burzlaff - August 24, 2007 · 9:29pm

yanno, I would have been pissed at you for making me lose the game but the rest of your wall post was quite nice. I miss you lol I'm coming home this weekend (today) so I shall possibly see you!! smile like you mean it

Levi Dillon Burzlaff to Kat Hiltz - August 24, 2007

bitchin!!!!!!!!!!! oh and the new spanish is HHHOOOTTTT!!! not as hot as you though. super fudge blizzard w/ extra fudge

Kat Hiltz to Levi Dillon Burzlaff - August 24, 2007 ·7:31pm

I'm as hot as a super fudge blizzard with extra fudge?? Is that good???!”

(I can’t believe how autistically clueless I am. All of this went over my head at the time. This is what I get for parroting things without knowing their meanings.)

[datingadviceonreddit]

Context:Met her about 6 months ago, she's a friend of a friend. We starting talking on Messenger from time to time, but we were both in a relationship so it was casual, completely platonic. A month ago, we were texting and I mentioned I was going to leave my GF. She said ''oh shit, I'm thinking about leaving my boyfriend too. I'm coming over to your place with a bottle of wine after work, ok?'' We had never hung out 1 on 1 before.Now I know how it looks. But this girl has many platonic guy friends. For her, drinking alone with a guy is not at all a pretext for hooking up it seems. My best friend is friends with her, and for the first 6 months he was also very confused about her signals, and unsure if he should make a move or not. He never did in the end.So I agreed, but because of what my best friend had told me, I didn't expect anything more than just talking and drinking a few glasses of wine with this girl. Besides I still hadn't left my girlfriend.Right when she arrived, she joked that me and her leaving our partners, it was like the beginning of a romantic comedy. I thought it kinda sounded like she was referring to us getting together, but I ignored the comment. We basically talked about pretty deep stuff, smoked and drank until 5 am, and at that point I told her I had to go to bed and she left.From that moment on, she started texting me everyday. Just random stuff about her day, memes, etc. Every week she suggested we go get drinks, hang out at my place or hers after work, and smoke / drink. She always initiated, I never did. She never drank much however, and I was always the one getting smashed. Since I found her very attractive, I always left when I started to feel like I was losing control, because I didn't want to make a move and cheat on my girlfriend, or embarrass myself either.Well I left my girlfriend a few weeks later, but she never left her boyfriend. She would always complain about him though. Here's a breakdown of the confusing signals I got in the last month:​-she would tell me every time a guy hit on her (grocery store, at work, etc.). She would emphasize how cute they were; how had she not been in a relationship, she would have went for it-she got on Tinder because she was bored (I told her I thought that was wrong). She sent me a screenshot of a guy's profile, and told me she would probably fuck him if he lived in our town-she complained many times about her guy friends always making a move at some point. she couldn't understand why they couldn't just stay platonic friends-she told me her boyfriend had asked if something was going on between the two of us, and it was weird since he had never been jealous before-she started to send me sexual memes. they were all about the fact men are inadequate in bed (girls are better, they know what to do, etc.).-she told me when she was really high one time how she likes to lead men on, make them suffer. also how she was sick of men in general-she joked about how men in their 30s can't keep an erection. when I answered ''hmm, I mean....'', she said '' oh oh, you don't have a counter argument''. I felt like she was poking fun/ flirting and setting me up so that I'd say something about my erections (I did, I made a joke that suggested they were fine, and she laughed, but then made fun of me for saying my dick was good)This week she suggested we go get drinks, but I told her I couldn't that night, but next week we could. She immediately segwayed into the fact her boyfriend called her the night before, before arriving to her appartement (they live 2 hours apart and usually only see each other on the weekends) because he didn't want to surprise her with her lover, and how she thought that was weird. I asked her why she thought he was feeling jealous suddenly. She told me he must be feeling how she has distanced herself from him during the last weeks.We talked about her relationship for a while, how it was going nowhere, then she asked me out of the blue ''so what are you doing tonight, you're going on a date???''. I told her I wasn't, just seeing my best friend, and that I was pretty bored with the dating apps, and the girls on there didn't motivate me. She said most people were boring, and that she needed someone as weird as her to be with her. Also how she couldn't read social cues correctly, and how often she said inappropriate things, that when she was younger, they wanted her to take a test to see if she had asperger. I told her I was told many times by my friends that I was autistic, because of my tendency to break down things when it's not necessary. She said she liked how I do that.After this conversation, I feel like a have to make a move. It seems like she's stuck in a relationship and is waiting for a clear move to break things off. But I could be wrong. She could also be a trainwreck and simply seeking the validation / attention of men, and she'll reject me like she rejected others before when they tried to overstep the boundary from friendship to direct courtship. Or maybe she's clueless about how some romantic expectations are created when certain things are said / done.I know I'm probably rambling, but I'd like like to know how this looks to an outside observer. via /r/dating_advice