#depressed thoughts

[agathasdoll]

soft witch.

summary: agatha takes care of you after a long day.

pairing: agatha x reader

word count: 1.3k

tw: just straight fluff, it's honestly disgusting how much fluff there is.

when you've had a long day and you're so physically and mentally exhausted you can't even do basic tasks like bathing yourself, she'll do it for you. carefully lathering your entire body in purple lotus soap so you smell just like her(s). she slowly splashes warm water against your body to rinse all the duds off.

she looks at you with the most loving eyes, like you don't get it. she'd trade anything to be able to do this for centuries with you. she squirts some fruity smelling shampoo onto her hands and rubs them together before she interlocks her fingers with your locks. scratching your scalp just the right way, you shut your tiresome eyes and hum lowly. agatha warmly smiles to herself, knowing that she's giving you exactly what you need.

after working the shampoo all throughout your hair she attentively washes it out, making sure not to get any water in your face. she then gets some fancy conditioner into your hair, sometimes you swear your wife knows more about your hair than you do, because whenever she works her magic it always comes out looking better than you could ever get it to. she grabs a hairbrush, gently brushing the conditioner in, from your roots all the way down to your ends, making sure there's not a single tangle in sight.

before washing it out, she looks at you so contently. placing tender kisses all over your face. your cheeks rising as you smile feeling her love all over your skin with one last longing kiss on your forehead, she whispers "let's wash this out" the fond grin plastered across her face makes you feel warm inside. you nod your head as she slightly shifts so she was better access to your hair. throughouly rinsing out the conditioner, and doing her best to get as much of the water out of your hair, she twists it and places it into a lazy bun. "let's get you out and warm, bunny" she coos. holding onto your sides she lifts you up and out of the tub.

she wraps you in a fuzzy towel, drying your body off. guiding you to your shared bedroom. she grabs another towel for your damp hair and 'accidentally' wraps it around your face "ags!" you half whine half giggle out. "oh! my mistake" she blurts out sarcastically with a playful grin on her face as she wraps the towel in the correct place this time and tucks it into itself so it remains secure. she leaves a gentle peck on your nose before swiftly grabbing the lotion off the vanity. she sits on the footboard bench pulling you closer to her. she looks up to you with a questioning face, as though she's asking for permission. you drop your towel, causing heat to rise in your cheeks as now your bare body is fully displayed in front of agatha.

as if she can read your thoughts, she utters softly, "don't be shy, sweetheart" and kisses up your stomach. you caress the stop of her head and make her look up at you. her alluring blue eyes looking into yours, "you look beautiful" she says with so much love in her tone. all you can do is look at her cordially and give her an appreciative smile. moments like these are the ones you both lived for, the intimacy that stayed within the four walls of your home made you want to never step outside again and stay in this trance of yours forever.

agatha squeezes some lotion onto her hands and rubs it in so it's not completely cold when it makes contact with your skin. she works her way up, from your legs to your chest. gently massaging the substance into every nook and cranny of your flesh. once she's done she begins to dress you into a matching set of cute satin purple pj's that she picked out. she helps you step into your underwear, then your shorts, standing up she guides each of your arms into the holes of the top and then she buttons it up, looking down at her you notice the little crinkle in between her brows, making you giggle as you can tell she's really concentrated on not missing any buttons.

"what's so funny, bunny?" she questions as she gets down to the last button. "nothing, you're just adorable", she looks at you with a perked brow and hums in response not entirely buying your answer. you snake your arms around her shoulders and hers find your waist. you slightly stand on your tippie toes to kiss the older woman's forehead, as she slightly taller than you. you place your forehead on hers and you both just stand there for a moment with your eyes closed enjoying this sense of serenity. "should we do your face then hair?" she whispers. "yes" you whisper back. neither of you wanting to let go of one another, you both stand there in silence relishing each other's presence. "okay" she whispers once more before breaking her forehead away from yours. you gaze into each other's eyes. you place a kiss on your wife's nose slightly throwing her off before a blush creeps in across her face making you smile. you release yourself from her grip and take her hand in yours guiding her to the vanity table.

you take a seat on the soft ottoman, patting the clear space on the surface in front of you for your wife to sit down on. she gladly accepts your invitation and takes a seat. she pours a bit of moisturiser onto her finger and swipes it across your cheeks, forehead, nose and chin before gently rubbing it all in. she grabs some lip ice and applies it across your lips and steals a quick kiss from you. "hey!" you jokingly yell in protest. "whaaaat??" she responds obliviously, "i needed some too" she shrugs. you playful cross your arms and huff. "fine, here" she jokingly rolls her eyes and smears more across your lips, "happy now?" you smile with all your teeth indicating that you are. "god, you're so silly" she mumbles as picks up the hairbrush and gets up to stand behind you.

she undoes the towel on your head with her free hand, letting it fall to the ground. she brushes you hair, making you hum in contentment. with a few more strokes she places the brush down and grabs a nourishing hair serum to apply. she places a few drops onto your scalp and uses her hands to work it through all of your hair. the feeling of her velvety hands on your scalp slowly had you feeling dazed. "what would you like me to do with your hair, sweet thing?" your wife cheerfully asks. you hum in thought, "whatever you please, ags" with that she decides to do two dutch braids. agatha takes your hair very seriously, it's one of her favourite things about you. she can always just get so lost in it, so she always makes sure to give it the best care.

she whips out a rat tail comb, making sure to part your hair evenly all the way down your head, sending goosebumps all over your skin. she plaits the first half and secures it with an elastic and repeats the same process on the other side of your head. "there you go, doll" she says, lifting your head so you can properly see yourself in the mirror. "what do you think?" she asks as she places a kiss on the top of your head so her question is kind of mumbled. "it looks good, thank you, honey." you look up at her, "i can't wait to have wavy hair tomorrow!" she hums in satisfaction with your response. "dinner?" she questions.

[brokenobstacless]

I wonder if anyone will ever choose me.

[sad-tired-andlonely]

Why do I care so much for people who wouldn’t even cared if I died? I’m over here grieving and they’re living their best life acting like I don’t even exist.

[fvckinsociety]

I want to end my fucking life again, ooopsieee.

[sarnai4]

Growing Older

So...here is a sad Dagur thought I had (since my brain decided I needed one of those). I want to preface this by saying that I know aging can occur in very healthy ways where people are sound of mind. That said, Dagur has never been sound of mind. That's why it worries me what might happen when he gets older. The thought of his brain deteriorating further concerns me.

He could forget what has happened in his life and mistakenly believe he's still with the Hunters or a villain. It could be interesting if some of him remembers that he's still good, creating a conflict of his past memory fighting to exist in present day and his true self trying to stay good. I could see him being even more haunted by his years in prison and getting to the point where he's almost hallucinating. The people around him begin resembling guards and/or other inmates. It would be sad too with his family. Dagur could begin to forget the faces of Mala and their kids/grandkids. I keep imagining all of these types of moments with there being a part of him that remembers. That part is devastated that he's forgetting and hurting those he loves. I might write a little fic about this.

[blindedbythedarkness]

I turn 25 tomorrow. I wonder how many more birthdays until life feels survivable again. Will I even make it until that time? Or will Covid kill me first? Will /I/ kill me first if this pain and harm doesn't stop? If I do live, will I be too old to have a family by the time they're safe to exist?

My third pandemic birthday. I've lost all of my early 20s. They're not lost from wearing a mask, avoiding crowds or being safe. They're lost from being forced to grow up too damn fast. From being forced to choose between my health and my social life. From being excluded and ostracised from society and the communities where I thought I'd finally found a home. From having my basic humans rights- my rights to participate in society, to life, to safety, to healthcare- systematically stripped from me piece by piece whilst being told its not happening at all.

I'm slowly making peace with getting older. As much as I grieve the years I've lost, I'm equally grateful I've survived another one. It's a privilege to get older and I'm more grateful of that than ever. But the pain I'm enduring every single day from the hidden pandemic and gaslighting from everyone I ever trusted makes it hard to appreciate.

[onlyposersdieyouidiot]

[jjust-a-mess]

i spend my life telling everyone not to give up while sometimes i don't even know how to continue.

[annaphoenix1994]

Sending thoughts for those alone for Thanksgiving. Whether it's without a loved one or a partner to introduce to your relatives, Or having no way to celebrate, I'm thinking about you as I am in that category. I love being in a fandom, but I hate the harsh reality of being lonely and having nobody special to celebrate with. My sister and I were asked a couple of times why where still single, and I couldn't help but feel the reminder that I'll probably go the rest of my life without that special person.

I hate being lonely, and I hate that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

We all deserve love, yet I want everyone else to find it before me.

I love seeing girls find that special man who takes away their insecurities, yet I always envy them for having something I've always wanted.

Okay. I'm done ranting.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[brokenobstacless]

[nobodysprobablysimplethoughts]

it's ironic, comical even, how people can look at me and see a whole human being who seems whole to them. how can i be perceived like this from the outside when inside of me i feel this emptiness creeping up that cannot be filled with creating or watching or reading or eating or being?

[theend-game]

It gets harder every day to carry on.

I don’t know how I’ve survived this long,

I also don’t understand why I have.

I spend each day daydreaming of death,

Wishing there was a way to end this pain.

[suicidexboyx]

Day 2 🧸

[goldrose-star]

To whoever is reading this: I'm sorry if I ever tried to reach out or communicate with you and ended up being totally cringe or unable to connect with you, even tho I wish I were able to. I'm having a hard time making friends or connecting with people. I know that people are busy and have their own life to navigate through and don't always have the time or energy to respond.

I wish I were able to reach out to people when I see something that reminds me of them or their OCs or that I think they might like, but I fear that they'll ignore me or are too busy and forget about me.

I just needed to get this off my chest because I'm feeling down at the moment. Feel free to ignore.

[traumxprxncess]

They will find someone better than you. They will replace you.

[blindedbythedarkness]

Josh, how has it already been 5 years since you took your own life?

Josh, how has it only been 5 years since killed yourself?

I'm not the same person I was then, but the grief has never really changed.

That was the single most traumatic day of my life.

The day you turned you head into a smoothie, throwing yourself off of the university balcony.

And I waited eight hours in the family room for your comatosed body to finally pass on.

But I know we lost the real you the second you hit the floor seven stories below you.

I will never not wonder about all the things that could have been.

I will never not miss you, my friend, Josh.