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aishnico · 9 months ago

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#𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙉𝙀 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙔: 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦

» summary: you heard that your ex-boyfriend got out of rehab

»word count: 2.9k

»warnings: angst with a happy end 🤗, NO DISRESPECTS towards demri or anyone else <3, grammar issues

»a/n: i'm officially declaring that from now on, i’m also writing for my favourite 🐐 <33

april, 2002

"layne is coming out of the hospital."

that was what jerry told you before you dropped the handset from your hands. your breath hitched sharply.

"hello, [name]? are you there?"

you didn't pay attention to him at the moment. you fell on your knees, put your hand on your heart. a wrenching pain and a sweet sensation of relief are wrapping around your heart. he was clean now, but could get on drugs again, you hoped he wouldn't. he could continue on his music career with joy and passion. can be happy with his beloved ones, enjoying life again... but without you. he didn't need you in his life. not anymore.

it was painful. witnessing the changes in his behaviors and his physical features. how hard you tried to send him to rehab. how many times have you tried? you don't remember. but you remember how finally you managed to send him.

it was before christmas. the first and probably the last one you spent with him. you were arguing again because of his addiction. the shameful thing was that the guys were there too. listening to you two without saying anything.

not only he was in pain, so were you. but he wasn't understanding how he affected you too. he finally snapped at you before leaving your shared apartment.

"if demri was still here, we would smoke on the couch continuously, cuddle, and make love to each other! she wouldn't instead cry and beg me like a little bitch..."

oh demri, sweet little demri... you were a fool honestly, for thinking he could love someone again after her. clearly, his heart died with her. and you couldn't revive it no matter how many times you tried.

"i wanted to ask you if you would like to see him. we plan to make a surprise to him at your old shared house."

you wanted to punch jerry in the face for asking you this. how could he ask you this? didn't he know how was your relationship with layne? was he trying to make you sad for nothing? or was he hoping you would make up with layne again?

after a couple of seconds, he apologized to you for disturbing you and hung up the phone. you got up from the floor and poured yourself a glass of water. you told yourself not to cry, that he meant nothing to you anymore like you didn't to him. but you couldn't stop your eyes from filling up.

work was waiting for you, so you grabbed your bag and left the house before petting your cat and calling her sadie. sadie... of course you felt bad for calling her by that name. if jerry wouldn't call me i wouldn't call her by his cat's name, you thought to yourself.

it was almost 5.30 PM. you were going home longer than usual. perhaps your mind was still lost, or just because you were tired.

usually, you wouldn't feel bad or tired after work. because your gloomy but lovely boyfriend would wait for you and thinking about him at and after work would delete all your negative feelings. you don't remember when was the last time you were coming home happily. it was sure before christmas, before you two split.

fuck you, jerry... you murmured to yourself. now i keep thinking about him even though i don't want to...

while you were talking inside your head, you bumped into someone tall unexpectedly. life is sure to have surprises. it was no one else but your mutual tall, drummer friend, sean.

"[name], glad to see you again! how have you been?" he asked with a cheerful tone.

you sighed and lifted your face to look up to him. "same, sean. i was fine until today, honestly."

"why? did something bad happen?!" he asked worriedly. you shook your head. you knew you had to face the guys one day, eventually that day has come. "wanna chat?" he asked you while showing an empty bench. you bit your lip then nodded.

you two remained silent for a couple of minutes. he eventually broke it. "it was a long time since i've seen you last time." he stated.

"like five months ago."

"isn't it long for you?" he asked.

"well, i have a steady and tiresome job so i don't have time to think about it all." you kinda lied and he knew it.

"the guys, jerry and mike, are missing you too. you're avoiding their calls too, don't you?"

you didn't answer. god... how you wished you pretended like you were busy while walking on the road (it's not like he can't recognize you because of your height anyway). however, as you told yourself, you had to confront.

"i... want to take everything out of my life that reminds me of him. i managed for these past months. but jerry called me this morning, and gave me the news that were enough to shake me all. i'm happy for him, i really am. there's nothing better than regaining your health back. also in the morning, i called my cat sadie on accident. sadie, his cat's name..."

this time, he didn't answer. you sat there in silence for minutes.

"[name], you have to face him."

"... why? to upset and make me cry again? like a little bitch i am?!" you buried your face between your hands. fuck, you were whimpering. although you were good friends with sean, you didn't want him to see you like this.

did you have just painful memories with him? of course not. you two weren't the most lovey-dovey couple full of physical touch, etc. but it was okay. starting a new love after his long-term girlfriend died was not easy for him, but trying his best for you was already enough for you.

you met for the first time when you were on a record shop and he was just sitting there. you couldn't recognize him at first, you thought he was the owner of the shop. so you asked him to play the lioness vinyl by songs: ohia. you were slow dancing to yourself and he was just watching you, amazed. you noticed his gaze on you and reached your hand to him to dance with you. he hesitated, but gave it a shot when you sincerely smiled at him.

"don't you care what people will think about you?” his voice was raspy. like either he couldn't wake up still or either he was on edge of death.

"no, why? i don't know them, they don't know me. i don't see an issue."

after your little dance, you asked him to play some classic rock records to check its conditions. when you had to leave, you somehow gained confidence to ask him out. he was stunned, but after thinking about a couple of seconds, he muttered an 'okay'.

it was unusual to him. going out to concerts, parks, record shops, and bars again with a new person. sometimes you two would just stay in the house, baking cookies before lying on the couch watching some film from the early 90's and watching the stars before sleeping.

he felt lucky, a new person was trying to drag him out of his miserable life. his friends and his mother, nancy, were happy and grateful to you. you made him happier and even a little bit healthier for a short time. you tried to send him to rehab countless times, he would be there for a few days or weeks. sometimes you considered yourself lucky when he managed to stay there an over a month.

your relationship with him, was a fairy tale. unless he would do drugs when you weren't around. he would become an aggressive, cold bitch who thought he was still around '95. it would turn from a fairy tale, to a psychological novel with an awful ending.

but even after your split, it didn't stop you from loving him. i really have no self-respect... you thought.

"that's not true. believe me or not, when guys and i would visit him he would always ask about you. about your well-being, about your work, about your life... he would worry about you, he regrets everything bad he has done to you."

you couldn't hold yourself and let a hysterical laugh. people who were passing by were looking at you strangely. you calmed yourself and looked at him.

"do you know, how many times i tried to send him there? how i was imagining a nice life with him but couldn't make it real unless he got treated? he wasn't listening to me except a couple of times. did this really have to happen for him go to there? did i deserve this, hm, sean?"

he let out a sigh. "of course not, [name]. but i highly believe his feelings changed. i highly believe he's a better person now. you don't have to forgive him, but it would be great if you listen to what he wants to say." he grabbed your small hand compared to his and gently caressed it. "trust me, that's what is fair."

you didn't say anything in return, just laid your head against his chest. you would be lying if you said you didn't miss sean's presence. not only his, but also jerry's, also mike's... also layne's...

"you're right. the time has come for us." you smiled and got up from the bench. "are you guys gathering at jerry's?"

he shook his head. "no, we thought it would be at layne's. so, your old place." he pressed his lips. "that sounds great, i bet he would be shocked seeing a surprise at his house."

he stood next to you. "yeah, i was just heading there. the guys are already there. we decorated a few things and nancy said she's gonna bake a few things. you can join her, you know?" he smiled.

"i was just gonna say that! i can't imagine seeing her reaction when she sees me." you laughed.

"you know what she calls you still?"

"hm? what is it?"

he lowered his head at the level of your ears. "my daughter-in-law-" he then chuckled because your ears got red.

"mike tells her not to call you like that but she just doesn't listen. she highly believes you'll be together again."

you slightly jumped and bumped his shoulder playfully. "i don't know what are you talking about.”

“i also can't imagine your reaction when you see mike." he smirked.

you stopped walking. "what happened to him? don't tell me he cut his gorgeous long, curly hair!"

"i actually meant starr."

"... wait what?! oh my god he's coming too?! that's amazing! can't wait to meet him for the first time. hey, you walk too fast, wait for me!" you then started running towards him.

"well, we're all like brothers, you know. even after all these things, they kept their special bond. it would be unfair not to tell him the news."

"yeah, glad jerry told me too."

the day has come. jerry knew you were still nervous. instead of telling you assuring things, he said he was going there only with you. minutes passed, you gave up on yourself and got in the car with him. jerry opened a cassette of one of bob dylan's albums to make you relax. it did help eventually.

after about twenty minutes later, he stopped at the parking place. he unbelted his belt then looked at you. "aren't you coming?"

"i'll come after you. now go." you smiled and he then got out of the car and started to walk in front of the hospital.

you saw a tall, blonde, gorgeous man with big blue eyes standing before the building. he seemed lost in his thoughts, swaying forward and back in his place. he was looking healthy and joyful compared to a few months ago. the warm wind was kinda messing with his short, wavy hair. he closed his eyes and opened wide again when another blonde man hugged him tightly like he never wanted to let him go again. your heart melted at the sight. best friends reunited again...

after couple of minutes later, jerry turned his back and looked at you. he gave you a smile as a sign. you took a deep breath and got out of the car, walking with steady steps towards them. layne's expression changed from cheerful to stunned. jerry coughed and started to walk to his car. "i'm waiting for you in the car, guys. don't stand too long, though. there are people who are still waiting for us."

you two stood there without saying anything. you looked at his healthy eyes, and face. oh how much they were shining more now... oh how was his smile making your heart melt more...

"[name], i..."

"it's been a long time. isn't it, layne?" your voice was weak, but at the same time joyful.

his eyes got filled. "yeah, yeah it's been a really long time. it's been a long time without you."

you gave him a broken smile. "layne, you look so happy right now. you look so lively. i'm- i'm glad to see you like this again." your eyes got filled too.

"everything thanks to you. i would never think i would retrieve these days again. i would never think i would see jer, see you. i also was sure you wouldn't want to see me again."

you sniffed. "yeah, that was what i've been telling myself since that day. but i guess i was just convincing myself like that."

"you hate me, don't you?" his voice was like a whisper.

"i hate you, layne," you started, "i hate you for making wonderful memories with me then throwing all of these to nowhere, i hate you for not keeping your endless promises, i hate you for telling me hurtful things, i hate you for comparing demri to me. i hate you for being with me even though you still think about her." your voice sounded harsher and harsher.

"that's not true," his voice now was broken. "not anymore. i don't want to live continuing thinking about her. i don't want to be stuck at memories with her instead cherishing what i have. i didn't understand this at first, never thought about it. i understood it when i lost you. i understood when i hadn't seen your face since then. you're too good and precious to me, [name]. i don't deserve you. but still, i love you."

sean was right. his thoughts indeed have changed. you wanted to open your mouth but he continued on his words.

"i'm sorry for hurting you in any way. i'm sorry for making you drown in my hole with me. you clearly didn't deserve all of this. it was so hard, so damn hard to quit... even making the decision was hard for me. i threw all of your help and lost to my demons. i'm so damn sorry for making you cry after me. i don't deserve your single teardrop." he couldn't hold himself longer and started to cry. his cry made you also cry. you opened your mouth but he didn't let you again.

"at first, i went to this rehab without any expectations but thank god something clicked inside me. i've realized everything i've done to you. my thoughts about life, about drugs, about demri changed but my love for you didn't. i've finally found a reason to stay alive, it has always been you. i... i love you so much, [name]. i'm not waiting for any acceptance but please believe my words."

before he could say anything more, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to you. you wrapped your arms around his neck and his head fell on your shoulder. breathing in your essence again.

"i missed you. i missed your presence, your smell, your soft touches..." you two stayed there for a couple of seconds and then he pulled off from you.

before he opened his mouth, you pressed your lips against his, putting your hands on his cheeks. he wasn't expecting this but then immediately welcomed the warmth of your mouth, kissing and sucking on your upper lip. his salty tears were dropping down to your lips but you didn't care. his lips got soft compared to a few months ago and him kissing you like this made you tingle more than ever.

you got interrupted when you two heard the loud sound of a horn twice. you pulled off and looked at who it was. of course it was jerry looking at you with a dull face.

"you two have enough time to make out from now on but we have to go now!" he shouted to you with a half-angry voice and you just smirked. he reached for your hand hesitantly. you gave him a gentle smile then intertwined your hands.

"i love you too, layne. i've never stopped from inside. but we're gonna talk about this later, okay?"

he kissed your forehead in response and you two sat next to each other in the car. returning your shared house, only to make wonderful and longing memories to remember in the remote future.

#layne staley #alice in chains #aic #layne staley x reader #aic x reader #grunge #grunge x reader #90s #90s rock #alice in chains angst #alice in chains fluff #jerry cantrell #sean kinney #mike starr #mike inez #aic fanfiction #demri parrott

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