#demons aren't exactly patient

[bookslutskye]

i finished rereading the raven cycle (again) and this time i charted the days that each chapter happens on based on dates and times given and it's so interesting to see it because the first three books all take about a month, with a month or two between, but only 3 days pass between the end of bllb and trk and trk takes place over the course of a week

[fairsweetlonging]

time travel au where liu qingge and shen qingqiu (yuan) end up accidentally traveling a decade back in time before luo binghe was amitted to qing jing peak and before shen qingqiu had his qi deviation, but after their generation has risen to peak lords.

which means, shen yuan realizes quickly, as they're accosted by said peak lords, that he will have to face shen jiu.

as they're being cleared for demonic energy and the likes, mu qingfang of course instantly detects the poison without a cure eating away at shen yuan's meridians. liu qingge pulls a copy of the treatment plan out of his sleeve (shen yuan blushes a bit, did liu qingge always keep that on hand?), and just like in the current timeline, they agree to keep it under wraps.

shen jiu tries various times to get a moment alone with shen yuan, but he never quite manages because liu qingge is there, who is also... nice?? to him?? for some reason?? shen jiu gets a bit flustered at the solemn politeness and skitters off.

it comes out pretty quickly that shen yuan has "memory loss", and thus can't remember anything that's currently taking place in this time. shen yuan expects scorn, hatred and disdain from shen jiu, expects to be grabbed and interrogated, to arouse suspicion.

but shen jiu looks....... sad???

being transported here threw shen yuan's qi off-balance (even liu qingge had to sit down, which means it's bad), and his cultivation is already so unstable, so when the peak lords are all squabbling and arguing and threatening and raising their voice, he can feel his body shut down. he sees yue qingyuan start to move towards him, which, knowing the future yue qingyuan, he really isn't up for right now—but before the sect leader can get to him someone else is at his back, transferring him qi, holding him up gently by his shoulders, then coaxing him up, leading him outside

shen yuan's been fed qi by every peak lord at least once. he doesn't recognize this one. that means it can only be one person.

he looks up. it's shen jiu.

and it's bizarre, getting fussed over by the scum villain, having gentle hands run along his back, his hair, that clear, soothing voice calming him down. and somehow shen jiu knows exactly what to do?? somehow it works perfectly on him?? it's almost as if shen jiu has known him his whole—

oh.

bodies, like homes, hold memories, even if the original occupants are no longer there. it's the milestone marks on the doorpost that chart a child's growth, blurry photographs faded by time, scuffed floors from well-walked paths, and tiny holes in the walls where pictures once hung.

shen jiu takes him to the bamboo house, pours him tea, and asks, calmly, what he remembers from their childhood.

it's not his childhood, so shen yuan doesn't actually remember anything, but the body he's in does. the memories it holds are emotional rather than visual; he remembers being alone, scared, and hungry. he remembers anger, pain. a dark room. loud voices. he remembers his heart skipping a beat when heavy boots stomp his way. the sound of a whip.

he doesn't have to lie. the memories aren't his own, and they're from long ago, which means shen jiu has them too. and, he supposes, this is his only chance to find out what really happened.

but shen jiu doesn't say anything about it. he just nods and stares, intensely. then he asks shen yuan if he remembers yue qingyuan. shen yuan says no, he doesn't. the conversation takes a very strange turn after that. shen yuan can't help but feel a little queasy when shen jiu asks him if yue qingyuan has taken advantage of his memory loss.

"has he come into your home? has he brought you gifts, sweets? does he invite you for tea? did you accept?"

he has. shen yuan doesn't know why that would be a problem, the sect leader has been nothing but kind and helpful and patient. and generous, too.

when he says yes shen jiu looks furious.

liu qingge (his one) comes to pick him up, and his time with shen jiu is cut short. somewhere he's glad, cuddling into liu qingge's back as he holds him while they fly. he feels a little bad for yue qingyuan, knowing he's probably caused a big fight, but it doesn't sit right with him. he wishes he knew what happened.

.

liu qingge, meanwhile, is having the time of his life fighting himself. it's good practice!

[atlasscrumpit]

Doctor Hannibal x Patient Reader

"So, why exactly are you taking me into a criminal psychiatric ward to visit one of your patients?" Will asked as he walked beside Hannibal.

"Well, you've been a criminal profiler for quite some time now. Y/N is a...unique case, I thought it might be good for you to expand that knowledge of criminals you have." Hannibal explained as they stopped in front of a door with your name labelled on the front.

A guard walked over and unlocked the cell door before stepping inside with Will and Hannibal.

As soon as you laid eyes on the doctor your face lit up.

"Doctor!" You shouted happily as you ran up to him and danced on your feet like an excited puppy.

"Is that you asking for a hug, my dear?" He asked opening his arms as you leapt forward and gave him a big hug.

He wrapped his arms around your smaller frame and held you tightly.

"There's someone I would like you to meet." He said, pulling away as you looked at Will, a slight scowl forming on your face.

"I'm Will, you must be Y/N." He said holding out his hand as you narrowed your eyes at him.

"I need you to play nice, my dear. Will here is a very good friend of mine and he works with me." Hannibal explained as you reluctantly shook Will's hand.

"Nice to meet you." You grumbled.

"Where would you like to have our session today, my dear? Outside in the gardens again?" Hannibal asked, your face changing immediately as you looked at him.

"Yes, please!" You shouted enthusiastically making Hannibal chuckle softly.

"Alright, put your coat on, my dear." He said grabbing your cardigan and helping you put it on before you followed the three men out of your cell.

The guard was following closely behind you, ready to subdue you if it came to it.

You made it outside and breathed in the fresh air, after all the only time you were allowed outside was when Doctor Lecter was here.

You skipped around the gardens as Will observed you.

"So, you're telling me this is the girl that killed four people and two guards?" Will asked in disbelief as he watched you dance around like a child.

"That is her, yes. Which is why she is a unique case. What do you read from her, Mr. Graham?" Hannibal asked as they followed after you.

"Innocence... But, an underlying terror of everything around her. She was cold to me but, I could see how afraid she was." He replied before they took a seat and watched you run around the garden like an excited dog.

"Her mind works in odd ways, something we see as innocent her mind will tell her it's evil and needs to be erased from this world. Paranoia, delusions and a split personality...amongst a lot of other things." Hannibal explained before you ran over and sat down between them both.

"Have you been behaving since I last saw you?" Hannibal asked as you chewed the inside of your lip.

"Kind of." You muttered as he chuckled softly.

"Kind of means no, my dear." He retorted as you sighed.

"Some of the guards are just mean to me." You grumbled as he sighed.

"Have any of them been...inappropriate with you again?" He asked as you smiled and shook your head.

"Nope! Not after you dealt with the last guy." You replied as Will looked between you and Hannibal.

"What do you mean dealt with?" Will asked, narrowing his eyes at Hannibal.

"Oh, relax my dear friend. I simply got that man fired for what he was doing." Hannibal explained.

Will didn't really believe him.

While Hannibal spoke with you, Will followed a guard back inside to take a look at your profile.

He examined it, he couldn't believe the innocent looking girl he just met had committed so many atrocities.

Once you came back inside Will caught up with Hannibal.

"I suppose you were right to want me here, she's a unique case, that's for sure. So, I'm guessing it was her other personality that committed the crimes?" Will asked, still glancing over your file.

"We aren't sure, she never says. She also denies that she even has anything wrong with her, she claims that it's all to do with demons and such." Hannibal explained as Will nodded.

"Why do you treat her like she's a kid that's done nothing wrong?" Will asked.

"Because she is a child who has done nothing wrong...at least to her. She understands she needs to be punished but she doesn't understand the extent of what she's done."

"She killed people! Children, even!"

"Contain yourself, Will."

They stood in your cell looking at you sitting on the ground and humming to yourself.

"I must go now, my dear. Our session is over." Hannibal said as you looked up and pouted.

"Do you have to go?" You muttered like an upset child.

This happened everytime.

"Yes, my dear. But, I'll be back next week. Would you like me to bring Mr. Graham again?" He asked as you looked at Will.

"I guess..." You grumbled making the doctor chuckle.

"Then we will both see you next week, my dear. Behave for me." He said as he knelt down and ran a hand through your hair.

"I'll behave." You muttered sadly making him smile, he leant forward and kissed your forehead.

"That's a good girl, I'll see you next week." He said as you smiled sadly and nodded.

"Bye, Doctor... Bye, Will."

[thelunastusco]

Oh my fucking GOD.

The ISSTD information about CDDs is NOT about system accountability. It is NOT about "well you have to make sure that a demon system member knows they're in a human body and anything they do will also hurt them too". The ISSTD isn't supporting the personhood of system members.

"This translates to--"

Stop.

Y'all are literally jumping through hoops to convince yourself and others that the ISSTD sees systems as different people sharing one body if-that-is-how-someone-identifies when that is flat out not the case. Will some providers be good about it? Sure! There are definitely providers who accept systems as different people if that's what they say they are, but that is ABSOLUTELY NOT what the ISSTD suggests.

The DID patient is a single person who experiences himself or herself as having separate alternate identities

It can be helpful to use the terms that patients use to refer to their identities unless the use of these terms ... would reinforce a belief that the alternate identities are separate people or persons rather than a single human being with subjectively divided self-aspects

the patient is not a collection of separate people sharing the same body

patient should be seen as a whole adult person

You can't "translate" these quotes away as being "actually they mean--" because no, no they don't mean anything else. They mean exactly what they say: that plural folks coming in are not separate people even if they say they are, but one person with fractured aspects of their singular psyche.

Yes, you can agree to call them "people" or "individuals" if that's what the patient (singular) calls them, but they are ONLY alternate identities of ONE SINGULAR person, not their own people, and if calling them "people" makes the patient see them as separate people different from the One True Singular Person you're talking to, you are NOT to call them "people". The idea that a system is actually different people in one body is a false belief.

You are not a collective. You are, in their eyes, One Person. Period.

Yes, parts of the ISSTD sound really close to what the plural community would call system accountability-- the idea that "clinicians must hold the patient accountable for the behavior of any or all of the constituent identities", for example. But that is not system accountability. That is "you are one whole adult person, not separate people, and so accountability must be maintained as if you were one whole adult person regardless of what you believe or circumstances".

Yes, parts of the ISSTD sound close to accepting system members as separate people-- specifically the passage of "countertherapeutic for the therapist to treat any alternate identity as if it were more “real” or more important than any other". But again, that isn't because they see individual system members as their own, separate, whole people sharing a body. It's because "all alternate identities represent adaptive attempts to cope or to master problems that the patient has faced". Meaning, they are pieces of the One True Singular Person that have formed to cope or deal with problems, but are still that One True Singular Person nonetheless. So, sure, they're all "real" because they're all actually that One Person.

And for some systems, that might be how it is! For some plural folks who aren't systems, that might be how it is! But under no circumstance should the plural community allow themselves to be fooled into thinking that the ISSTD actually allows for the plural community to ever see themselves, in any way, as separate people sharing one body. It doesn't, and too many providers do not and will not see their plural patients in that way. Even if they mirror your language and play along. They can and will stop doing so, if they think that your system ACTUALLY considers themselves separate, unique individuals instead of "self-aspects" of One Person.

You can "translate" the passages into anything you want, but that doesn't change what is actually meant. Glossing over the fact that it flat out denies personhood because some other lines sound almost like community rhetoric changes nothing. We can't believe systems are literally talking themselves (and others) into thinking that the ISSTD sees systems as fully realized individuals when it says in plain language it doesn't.

We knew reading comprehension was dead, but c'mon.

What horrifies us is the potential that younger or less savvy systems will see that shit, accept it, and then walk into a therapist's office thinking "oh the ISSTD says to accept us as different people if that's what we say we are so it'll be okay". When that sort of thing USED to get plural folks put into mental hospitals against their will. When that sort of thing STILL winds up with systems being discriminated against, and in some cases denied treatment like trans health care.

Most singlets in the psych field DO NOT see you, a system, as different people sharing the same body-- even if they use your language. You HAVE to be careful and screen potential therapists. You HAVE to interview people to make sure that they will respect your system, and treat you/you all as you want to be treated. The ISSTD is NOT your friend, and providers who follow it will by and large NOT be the people you want to see, unless you're the sort of plural/plural system who sees themselves as "subjectively divided self-aspects" of One Singular Person.

The plural community has been fighting this bigotry for DECADES.

It has NOT stopped.

[coraniaid]

I read this post the other day and now I can't help but try to plot out a S3 AU in which Gwendolyn Post is just a little more patient (and maybe, as a result, she's not yet managed to get herself expelled from the Watcher's Council, so she doesn't have to worry about being exposed as a fraud the minute Rupert Giles thinks to make a single phone call).

A world where Gwen realizes that having unlimited access to a emotionally unstable teenage Slayer with no friends or family in town -- a Slayer who will do almost anything for the smallest scraps of positive attention from an even vaguely maternal authority figure -- might, on balance, be more beneficial to her personal quest for power and magical treasure than immediately burning all her bridges to steal a metal glove that can't ever be taken off and continually casts a spell that summons lightning directly down on to the person wearing it.  

Put yourself in Mrs Gwendolyn Post's shoes. 

Isn't it much smarter to keep playing the part of the stern but genuine Watcher, a part you did after all train for for years of your life -- and maybe quietly help yourself to a few of the more valuable magical items your Slayer happens to bring you on the side -- than to risk it all for one single prize, however rare?  If, with just a little molding and prodding and some barbed compliments now and then, you can get that teenage girl to go out and kill demons and steal all their stuff and bring it all back to you, no questions asked, where's the harm?  All you have to do is keep making sure she remembers that she's fundamentally unlovable and unwanted and that nobody else but you will ever accept her and the best she can ever hope for is your occasional fleeting and conditional praise, as long as she does what she's told and keeps it all a secret.  Half of that is taken verbatim from the Council's own script for enlisting new Slayers anyway. It'll be easy.

Maybe you tell her how impressed you are that she's training throughout the winter, rather than letting herself get distracted by things like holidays or parties or presents. Tell her some half-true story about the focus and determination of long-dead Slayers before her.  (You can go to all the parties you want, of course.  These rules don’t apply to you.)  Maybe you show up at her motel room briefly later, just to make sure she didn't take up that irritating other girl's unexpected offer to go to her house for dinner.  Maybe you reward her dedication to the cause with some little unimportant bauble; something cheap and meaningless you notice she keeps wearing for weeks afterwards, even if she pretended not to be impressed with your gift at the time.  Maybe you stick the crappy little (obviously shoplifted) presents that she nervously watches you unwrap later in a drawer somewhere and never think about them again.

Maybe you give her a little bit of advance warning about the Cruciamentum. Not early enough she can tell anyone else, of course, but early enough that she's ready for it. Not because you care (and you really don’t; she's an easily manipulated idiot and you don't respect her in the slightest), but because you want her to realize that the rest of the Council can't be trusted. That Mr Giles can't be trusted.  That there's only one person in all the world who she can trust.  

And if one night she shows up at your door uninvited to tell you that she killed an innocent man by mistake (you really don't care about this either), and she doesn't have anyone else to turn to (you try not to make it too obvious how pleased you are about that), then ... well, what an opportunity for you.  Obviously you're not going to let anyone else on the Council know about this: maybe they'd take her back to England, wasting all your hard work. Maybe they'd send a new Watcher to interrogate her.  But the Sunnydale police department aren't exactly competent.  You can make it all go away, you tell her.  And you do. 

But you let her know, subtly -- just not too subtly -- how disappointed you are by her carelessness.  How she'll have to work a lot harder from now on to get back into your good graces.  How you've really risked a lot for her tonight (you haven't) and how much she owes you now.  How you'll expect her to do better from now on (or at least to do more, more often, without ever asking inconvenient questions).

The disgrace was almost getting caught, you'll tell her later. That's what you found so deplorable. The mistake was needing to be bailed out.  There’s no excuse for sloppiness.  Killing some idiot who got in the way while the Slayer was doing her job though … well, Faith’s right to think that he wasn’t important.  He didn’t matter.  Oh, and the Sunnydale natural history museum is hosting an exhibit of a few rare magical objects next week that it would probably be best to keep in safe hands.  (Which is to say, of course, your hands.)  You don’t think Buffy or Giles need to know about it, do you, Faith? It would be best to be discreet about securing the necessary items, but if some idiot happens to get in the way, well...

There's no real risk of Faith being tricked into outing herself, the way she was tricked into revealing she was working for the Mayor in canon, because it's not a secret that Gwendolyn Post is Faith's Watcher.�� Faith is supposed to listen to her Watcher, isn’t she?  And if her Watcher tells Faith to kill some demon and bring her the valuable books he was trying to sell, why shouldn't Faith do it?  Killing demons is her job, isn't it?  She’s good at killing things.  Good at stealing things, too, it turns out. Sometimes you don't even have to pretend to be impressed.

If Faith seems increasingly sad and withdrawn all the time, why do you care? It doesn't make her any less useful. And if Faith doesn't talk to anyone much anymore, and keeps some of her missions secret from her fellow Slayer and all of that other Slayer's little friends and hangers-on, what's so strange about that?  They're not Faith's friends, after all. None of them are.  Faith doesn't have friends.  Never needed them.  She's got somebody though.  She's got Mrs Post.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

DC

What Does it Mean When Your Son Comes Home with Plans for a Death Ray? Asking for a Friend by PrinceJakeFireCake

Basically the title.

Excerpt: “What does it mean when a young man comes home with plans to create a death ray so he can frame Luthor for plagiarism?” Bruce asked anyway, because maybe one of them knew.

There was a long silence. Bruce waited patiently.

“What?” Clark and Diana asked, at the exact same time.

“You know what? Never mind,” Bruce sighed, wearily. “He’s probably just at that age."

Clone Wars

: (Is to) :: (As) by TamerLorika

Cody's General was a perfect example for the men. He ate regularly. He was punctual with his medical appointments. Kenobi socialized with his officers, hosted curated office hours for the rank-and-file, walked the field hospitals during engagements, and made time every Centaxday to review escalated grievance reports.

He was there for his men—but always at the exactly appropriate arm’s length away and half step ahead.

.

Cody notices that Kenobi's regard for himself is always clinical and utilitarian. As he ponders a way to break the stalemate, he begins to learn more about the lightsaber that is so often in his hands, and how it relates to the subject of Kenobi's own soul.

The Exception by Threebea O (ThreeBea)

Cody gets a new Jedi assigned to the 212th Attack Battalion after he is forced to execute his last one. He has enough experience to know how this new Jedi will behave.

But the Sith Slayer proves himself to be the exception to all of Cody's expectations.

Cody leads his unit, fights a multi-front war, and tries to figure out JM-031.

All for the Game

No straighter path than to struggle by otatop

Neil is sick and it's fine until it's not.

There's a lot of soup.

if you saw my darkest parts by KweenDay

When you meet your soulmate, you share your dreams. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

Jeremy knows he's met him—his soulmate—when he starts sharing his dreams. But those aren't just any dreams. They're all dark and violent, nightmares that make Jeremy suffocate. And Riko Moriyama is in all of them. Jeremy narrows it down to one person—Kevin Day. Except, Kevin already knows his soulmates (plural?), and Jeremy isn't one of them. So why is the universe fucking with him? And why is Jean Moreau looking at him like that?

//Soulmate AU in which you share your soulmate's dreams after you meet them in person.

soleil / sans soleil by electric_typewriter

Jean is slowly learning how to live as a Trojan with the support of his teammates friends. There are better days, and worse. A bad day leads to a conversation with Coach Rhemann. Some uncomfortable questions have to be asked.

SVSSS

Luo Binghe's Guide to Winning a Bride by Meriglass

Five years have passed since the events of the Immortal Alliance Conference, and Luo Binghe is nowhere to be seen. Shen Qingqiu is beginning to fear the worst. That his dearly beloved, golden halo protagonist really did die in the Endless Abyss. Otherwise, why wouldn't he have come to enact his revenge by now?

Meanwhile, Luo Binghe is alive and well. He's just sulking in the Demon Realm.

In which Shen Qingqiu is kidnapped and placed as the official bride prize for a demon battle tournament, and it's up to Luo Binghe to enter undercover in order to save him.

[anxious-witch]

Dead boy detectives characters as their big three in Astrology-Charles

Text in the pictures and more explanation under the cut

So, this, unlike Edwin's, aren't canon, just my hcs, although Charles is imo implied to be a Taurus in a scene where Edwin says Taurus and Aries are highly incompatible. Because I refuse to believe this boy is Aries and even less so that Crystal is a Taurus so.

Taurus-Sun

~ Strong will & aesthetic sense, very tactile

~ Loyal & great at taking care of what they love

~ Patient & present, drinks in life with no rush

Sagittarius-Rising

~ Wide-eyed truth seeker, lives life as a quest

- Spontaneous, adventurous, philosophical soul

~ Inclusive & generous, magnet for opportunity

Cancer-Moon

~ Soulful & deep, needs emotional security

~ Sympathetic, extra sensitive & very protective

~ Sentimental, strong ties to the past & family

Text from moonomes.com

So, he'd be a perfect balance of earth, fire and water in his big three. Taurus Sun, aka he is grounded enough to have a stable base people he cares about can lean on. Fiercely loyal, once you have his affection, he'd anything for you(cough like fight a demon or go to Hell cough). As a Venus sign, he cares about his apperance, but still keeps it comfortable. Hence why he looks so effortless cool throughout the series. Also Tauruses often love to indulde in little pleasures, such as food, so it's no wonder Charles complains about missing spaghetti. He is a creature of comforts.

His down to earth attitude balances well with Edwin's Capricorn qualities. Both are grounded, but when Edwin focused solely on the goal, Charles is there ti be present in the moment and notice what happens around them and react accordingly. Like with the Night Nurse, where Edwin froze, because he had no idea how to face this kind of threat. Charles was present and his protective instincts kicked in immediately. 

Then we have Sagittarius Rising. I knew he had to be some sort of fire sign, because that boy has so much inner fire to keep him going. And Sagittarius is exactly that. Rising signs are all about how one is perceived, and Sagittariuses are positive and friendly, with boundless energy. One could say that Charles' statement of being "aces with people" fits perfectly here. They are always here for the new adventure and experiences, especially when they are surrounded by people they love to be around.

Last but not least is Cancer Moon. Cancers are known for having many emotions, even having a reputation for crying often, although that's not necessarily true. Having it as his Moon, that represets emotions, especially hidden ones, does mean Charles has lots of feelings. He is sensitive to feelings of others, and in normal circumstances, should be of his own. However, he, similarly to Edwin, isn't a fully realized Cancer Moon at the beginning of the series. He bottles up his feelings, hiding behind his more "desirable" Rising. But eventually, the dam breaks, and he cries and/or lashes out.

Also, interestingly, Cancer Moons are known to be very possessive, which we see when Edwin is spending time with Monty or the Cat King. 

With his full potential realized(which I think, he has more work to do than Edwin does as things stand rn) he'll be a wonderful friend, attentive partner and somehow who freely expresses his emotions, both good and bad.

[drconstellation]

i'm sorry i'm a bit slow when it comes to reading comprehension...i thought crowley saves the goats because he doesn't want to kill them, not because they're associated with demons? or did i get that wrong? 🙈

Angelic Sheep and Demonic (Scape)Goats

[Just for reference, the question above was prompted by another meta: Goats, Crows and The Flood]

Thank you for the question. This gives me a chance to write up a sheep and goat meta at length - but I hope you're not going to regret asking it, because its not a simple answer. While I am always saying "it never is in the GOmens AU" I have to admit this one took off with a life of its own (the metas do that sometimes) and has ended up much longer than I thought it would and went to places I didn't expect it to go, but sometimes that is the joy of writing these.

Crowley doesn't want to kill them because he thinks they are innocent and blameless, just like the children of Job - and by extension, we are meant to see he thinks he was unfairly blamed and condemned to be a demon as well. That's it at its most simple level, but by understanding why there is an association between demons and goats will give you a much deeper insight into Crowley's story and why he would act this way. S2 of GOmens is like an onion, you need to peel that thin dry skin off and then slice through several more juicy layers to get the full depth of flavor into the complex meal that has been created for us. Its worth the tears that the chopping of the onion releases in the end. Are you brave enough to find out?

Take the conversation above, between Sitis and Bildad/Crawley. Sitis is a parallel-character to Aziraphale here, wearing the angel's signature teal green, and she questions the demon about the children being threatened with destruction. Then let us put these two parallel scenes side-by side: Sitis vs Bildad and Aziraphale vs Heaven

AZIRAPHALE: Oh. So just his worldly goods. MURIEL: Exactly. Oh, nothing important, no. Just his farm, his camels, his goat, his oxen, his children, his geese… AZIRAPHALE: His WHAT?! MURIEL: His geese. You know, big cross ducks.[flaps arms] AZIRAPHALE: His children?

So we have Sitis looking in horror at a demon at the potential death of her children, and then we have Aziraphale looking in horror at Heaven acting demon-like, not caring if children are destroyed in pursuit of victory over Satan. "Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always," admonishes the shoulder-demon Gabriel (he is so often a shoulder demon - I have words to say about this! - in another meta) In other words, be a good sheep, Aziraphale, and have faith in the Almighty. Don't worry about the goats, or kids. They aren't important.

If you listen carefully during the Job minisode, A Companion to Owls, you'll notice Gabriel prefers to emphasize the number of sheep that will be returned to Job in the end. The Christian church is very big on the sheep imagery! Sheep are considered to be modest, humble, obedient (because they follow one another - you need to be a good follower!) and patient. They follow their shepherd's voice and goes where he directs. (Uh huh...) Followers are described as being part of a flock.

Goats, on the other hand (ah, yes, we'll talk about that in a moment) are considered to be a bit on the nose. Literally. A rutting billy goat is described as having a 'fetid' smell, they can be promiscuous, capricious, devious (wily?) and contrary. Their strong-mindedness, singleness of purpose and leadership qualities (!*) make them the opposite of sheep. While going your own independent way is frowned upon by Heaven, this leading quality of the goat is sometimes used to lead the sheep.

"There are three things that are stately in their stride, four that move with stately bearing: a lion, mighty among beasts, who retreats before nothing; a strutting rooster, a he-goat, and a king with his army around him." Proverbs 30: 29-31

Did you get a good whiff of that sinister archangel, Shax?

(oh boy, some of the stuff I found researching this for more detail...such as "going your own way creates disunity...this leads others astray..." wtf! Looking at this in context with the show makes it kind of, well, some things make more sense to me now? I guess that's a big reflection on the kind of culture I personally grew up in, because I know there are cultures where unity and togetherness is looked upon as happiness and harmony.)

In the tv show, we know the scene blocking - where the characters stand - has great importance. Standing on the right-hand shoulder of another character makes them a shoulder-angel (the dexter side), standing on the left a shoulder-demon (the sinister side.) By watching who stands where usually tells us what moral stance they are taking in that scene.

If we take the example from the Job minisode below, we can see quite an interesting dynamic from the scene blocking. On the left, we have Sitis and Job, who is crouching down. They are an Aziraphale-Crowley parallel-pair, and they are even colour-coded with their colours! Sitis, in Aziraphale's teal on the angelic right of yellow tunic-wearing Job, who's modelling Crowley's suffering for sin but without understanding why. Job has crouched down to highlight Crowley's entrance. On the right the glowing angels are arrayed - Michael on the angelic right shoulder, Gabriel in the middle (more often than not he stands on the demonic left) but this time Aziraphale is taking the far left demonic position, and we know why - he's about to lie like a demon! But even on a grander scale, Sitis, Job and Crowley all stand on the angelic RHS of the visiting angels, making the archangels and Aziraphale all collectively LHS demons in this scene. And Gabriel thought they'd won the bet...*snort*

You should all take a moment to appreciate this piece of Art. Go on. Do it.

Sheep and goats had this right- and left-handedness meted out to them long ago in the bible. The sheep belong to the morally righteous right-hand side, of course, the side of angels, and the goats to the demonic left.

But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Matthew 25:31-33

This passage and the following lines from Matthew describes how Jesus will judge the righteous from the sinners, and those who have been deemed good will be saved, but those who are deemed unworthy will be treated like goats: "Then he will say also to those on the left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the the devil and his angels" Matthew 25:41

So we've established the link between goats being demons, and the left-hand side, so they have an affinity with Crowley. We can do a bit of humorous visual and word play between kids and children.

Children.

ah.

oh. OH. Hang on a minute...

Lets just take a step back to the beginning of the minisode, where Crawley delivers his short monologue to the assembled goats.

CRAWLEY: You should know why you're about to die. God has abandoned you. The God who claims to love you, who demands your praise, has given you up to be destroyed.

They're rather small goats, aren't they. The kind of size that makes you wonder if they are goat children or grown goats... you know, it doesn't matter - they are little, cute and innocent. You are meant to associate them with kids, now, and in the past. (Like, in the way, way back past. Like not just the Flood, but the Before the Beginning past.) What matters is Crawley's speech to them, because it sounds very much like him repeating his own experience about his Fall from Heaven. We already know from S1 there is a conflict around Crowley's Fall involving wanting to ask God questions. We get to explore this further several times in S2.

Then later, after emerging from Job's cellar, they witness God talking to Job.

AZIRAPHALE: I don't suppose he's getting any answers. CRAWLEY: No. But just to be able to ask the question.

We don't hear all the lines God speaks to Job, but we hear enough to them to understand that they come from the Book of Job 38 and 39. The context behind these two verses is...interesting. I was going to delve into them a little more but I think that will get us off track on this meta, so perhaps I should come back and revisit it separately, but we can note that several ops have pointed out that the lines we do hear God speak clearly to Job can be connected to Crowley. There are no coincidental accidents in S2.

But just look at Job in that last image - the light of God shining brightly down through a hole in the clouds, darkness all around...

Hmm. Remind you of anything. Like maybe... another Voice from above?

Who we've seen has shown a particular dislike for a certain demon, even though most certainly remembers what his name is.

METATRON: Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions, too.

Well, doesn't that sound just like a demon goat.

That withering look the Metatron gave Crowley in S2E6, the comment about asking "damn fool questions," - just about the only conclusion you can come to is that the Metatron had something to do with Crowley's Fall. What and how exactly is still unclear, but there are some clues in Gabriel's story, as Gabriel is acting as both a parallel and foil to Crowley in S2. At this point we should also talk about the scapegoat ritual that was widely practiced around the near Middle East regions for quite some time.

The scapegoat ritual involved two young goats being chosen for sacrifice, but one of them had the sins of the community spoken over them then set free to wander into the desert wilderness to die, while the other was sacrificed as a Burnt offering to God. This was a symbolic way of removing sins from the community.

It is also applied to the Passion of Jesus. When the gathered crowds are offered the choice between letting Jesus or Barabbas go free, they choose Barabbas. I've written at length how I see this applied to S2 in this meta here: The Passion of Jimbriel: Resurrection and while Gabriel and Crowley share the role of Jesus fairly equally throughout the Passion story line, there is one point it can be split and Gabriel becomes the Barabbas and the goat that was released into the wilderness and Crowley becomes Jesus on the cross - but he turns into the sacrificial lamb! Perhaps that needs to be changed to the burnt offering...

I know there are quite a few meta ops that are aware of the scapegoat ritual, and more often than not I see Aziraphale being suggested as the current scapegoat. But the way I see the ritual being used in GO is not so much in the present story but in the past, and Crowley was the unwilling scapegoat for the rebelling angels that fell.

OK, I think I've run out spoons on this meta, but seeing how its managed to be at least twice the size I initially envisioned it to be, and its since generated two more meta ideas in the writing of it on top of the ones I'm already trying to do, that isn't too bad.

I'll wrap it up by saying no matter who the scapegoat is, Aziraphale needs to let his inner lion out so he can be The GOAT in S3. I'm sure the original nanny-goat will applaud that.

*talking about that topic...I should have a meta out soon centered around Crowley and Gabriel that will cover this. I will probably come back and edit a link in to it.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hi! Can I request a reader who is like bayonetta, with the summoning of demons to fight and using guns and all that for Buddha, hades and shiva? If ur not comfortable with it, that’s ok!

Flirty and elegant S/O use guns and can summon demons

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Buddha, Hades ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

× This is inspired in Bayonetta

Bayonetta is a little too sexual for my liking but that girl is amaizing as hell, really she is just ✨✨✨

Buddha

Is a surprise for everyone that you two become a couple because everyone can tell that you two are complety opposites, or at least that is what people think because you two are more similar that what people think, even so Buddha couldn't care less for what other say

Your elegancy and extravagant personality is one of the first things that atracted him to you, he has no problem with saying it to you and that lead him to tease you and flirt with you a lot, dating or not he is always flirting and complimenting you, and since you are pretty flirty too it becomes a go and back of flirting that don't seem to stop, even when you are fighting the flirtation doesn't stop

Also he loves all your outfits, from your witch/wizard suit to all your others more casual ones, he loves every single of them, and even when he may doesn't have the best sense of fashion he can help you choose or buy more if you want

One of the reasons why people could find it surprising is because you are a witch/wizard, but is mainly because people easily gets carried away for the stereotypes, but Buddha is really interested in your powers and your fighting style. Speaking of, he finds hilarious that even for being a powerful witch/wizard you still decide to fight mainly with guns

Buddha is enamored with your fighting style, not only you master any kind of gun but you never lose your elegancy, is almost like if you are dancing and playing with your opponent. Also he finds pretty funny that you fight against angels, he always jokes about it and since he doesn't give any importance to gods neither he isn't going to stop you or anything

Buddha is really curious about all the demons you can summon and he wants to see every single one, although he won't force you to summon them just for him, he will patiently wait to see it while you fight because he loves seeing you fight, he swears that seeing you fight is one of his favorites things to do in the entire world, besides you can't just summon demons but also transform in different creatures and even then he can't help but admire your beauty in another form

Buddha isn't really worried when you fight, he fully believes in you and knows that you are more than capable to handle the fights yourself, he prefers to just be there to enjoy the view, although if you ever have problems in the fight he won't even hesitant and imediatly goes to your side to help you. Also, some times after you finish fighting he tells you criticism or advice in a joking manner

Despite everything, he knows that you are a really good person, caring for the people that are important to you (even willing to do anything to help the people you love), and also he knows you aren't exactly unfair or cruel just fighting the ones who directly have problems with you, and he is in love with that side of you too, he may tease you for it but it makes his heart melt knowing that part of you

Buddha will never get tired of appreciate all your beauty, fight or not, he is just too in love with all you and he has no problem with expressing it (he actually does it all the time), is really strange to see him without a smile whenever he is with you

Hades

Hades isn't someone who judge or get carry away for appearances or stereotypes, so when he falls in love is because he know you really well, and he is in love with all of you. He loves your elegant behavior, even when he himself is pretty elegant he can't help but be amazed by every move of you

Also he has no problem with your flirty behavior, any time you start flirting with him or even get touchy he just laugh at it or answer with more innocent comments or even compliments, but don't misunderstand him, he is fascinated with that side of you, he finds amazing every part of your personality, although from time to time, when the two of you are alone, more in private he reciprocate the flirtation

He loves your fashion sense too, he likes to see every single outfit and hair style, and he actually pay a lot of attention to it (is just that he likes fashion too and tend to always dress pretty elegant), and he will love to help you choose new outfits and even use matching ones if you want to

Also, he is really curious about you being a witch/wizard but he doesn't want to pry, so aside from casual questions (specially at the start of your relationship) he doesn't ask much if you don't talk about it yourself, although he make sure that you have an special place to practice all you want (either in the palace or in the underworld, or even in both)

Now about the fighting is probably that he doesn't see you fighting for a long time after you two have met since he doesn't tend to get into much troubles and, despite for being in the underworld, the palace is pretty pacific, so is probably that he end up seeing you fight for the first time when some angels come searching for you, he was ready to fight them but you were faster and before he can even speak you were already fighting them

Hades tried to help you, he really wanted but you were totally fine handling the situation without troubles and even keeping all your elegancy (even when you are summoning demons you do it with a lot of style and elegancy) seeing you fight is pretty hypnotizing and is that way every time you fight Hades wants to help you but he can't so after a while he decide to step back and watch (but being ready in case you need him)

It's just his nature to worry about you, and even when he had saw you completely fine in the battle, even if you come out completely unscathed he still worries for you. Although that doesn't mean he doesn't like seeing you fight, because he does and a lot, he always says that you look so beautiful while fighting

He becomes pretty interested in your fighting style, if you let him he will like to know about all the guns you use and have used as well about the demons you can summon, there is a chance for him to already know about the demons you can summon a some others that you don't know yet, and he gladly share that knowledge with you

Even when he loves your elegant but wild personality he still loves how caring you can be with the people that are important to you, he thinks that is a interesting contrast and even when you don't show much that side of you he loves it nonetheless

[another-lost-mc]

Jes!!! Hello lovely! Thinking about Seraphiel again as always. I know you have posted that he is Dom leaning in the bedroom. But could you tell us more about the dynamic he would have with his partner? Do you think he would wait until he’s dating someone to sleep with them? What is his sex life like?

Before I ramble about Seraphiel, I think I should probably expand a bit more on some of my general ideas when it comes to the angels that are definitely not as innocent as they pretend to be and how their whole relationship/intimacy vibe meshes out.

Some angels are in platonic or romantic relationships without sexual elements.

Some angels engage in casual sex when the rare mood strikes (or if they "accidentally" ingest a particular herb or mineral that has some aphrodisiac-like effects, angels are always so willing to help each other out in a time of need).

Others happily live in long-term relationships, with or without a sexual component, although these are less common overall as formal bonds are rare and not exactly encouraged.

Angels might not have the same structured dom/sub dynamics that humans or demons engage in but aspects of those roles are common enough. There are angels that are natural-born leaders, or they take great pride in their ability to protect what's theirs - their friends, their home, their partners. Other angels are eager to follow, eager to please, because that is their calling and they want to be of service. Most angels waver between these two mindsets as they grow and climb the ranks, but they'll find out what suits them best eventually. Ranks aren't always an indicator of what to expect, though.

Most angels are adaptable and not easily rebuffed, especially when it comes to caring for humans. It's instinctual for them to be patient and provide guidance and wisdom - in more complex relationships, not much changes. They will figure out what you want and what you need and find a way to satisfy you while being mindful not to be greedy with what you might offer in return.

And many angels, aside from rare moments of unrelenting temptation, are usually good at moderating their emotions and urges. Most of the time. The ones that aren't...well, they have a way of getting themselves sent down to where the demons live, for one reason or another.

THAT BEING SAID. Seraphiel has had casual encounters but relationships aren't something he actively seeks out without some sort of strong emotional connection first. He might be tempted, though. Very tempted. But growing that bond with him first is worth the effort, because seeing what he's like once you do reveals a side few others will ever have a chance to see.

Seraphiel holds a position of considerable power and responsibility. He's careful and attentive because his strength could hurt you if he's not. He doesn't take you to bed expecting submission, although his tolerance for bratty behaviour only lasts so long before he sharpens his tone and his grip tightens, just a little bit, when he holds you. Most of the time, it's not a power struggle for him. He does what feels good, and if he senses you want him to take the lead, he'll gladly do so.

He'll have moments of lustful thoughts and urges that would make Asmodeus proud. He can resist temptation and even make a game of it if it seems to please you, drawing out the anticipation, teasing each other with what will eventually happen once the game ends. He is confident but gentle, authoritative yet sweet. He's more possessive than jealous and he will gladly leave marks where others can see, if you ask him to.

[cherrycola27]

*dramatic clearing of throat*

AHHHHHHHHH

Best idea ever!

Gonna need some Jake and the angsty as ever story of Hades and Persephone🫠

Oh, Cass, how could I say no to you? I am going to combine your ask with a similar one from @callsign-viper for some angsty smut. Enjoy

smut below the cut

Say No To This:

You'd been avoiding him all night, well, his physical presence, at least. You could feel his shadows creeping about, wrapping around you and warming you like the flames of hell from which they came.

His mortal side, Jake, was a patient man, but his godly side, Hades, well—was ungodly.

And you wanted to see just how unholy he could be.

You really aren't sure what led you to this. Scratch that. You knew exactly what had led you to this exact situation.

Jake had been pursuing you for months. Trying everything he could to get you alone, sending his shadows in the middle of the night to try and convince you to give him a taste, but each time, you shot him down. And now, you were on a date, and he was forced to watch you you look downright sinful as you licked the salt off the rim of your pomegranate margarita.

If it had been anyone else, Jake probably would have been able to control himself—wait it out.

But it wasn't anyone else. It was Zeus—fucking Bradley Bradshaw. He was the one currently sitting across from you in crisp white button-down with the sleeves rolled up. His hand sitting a little too high on your thigh to be considered decent, as you threw your head back laughing.

Jake knew you were doing this to get back at him. It wasn't evident at first, but the moment you looked across the bar and locked eyes with him as you licked the rim of your drink, he knew.

And you knew exactly what you were doing to him. You wanted to push him; to bring out his inner demon. And what better way to do that than to brazenly flirt with the one person you knew would send him over the edge?

Out of the corner of your your eye, you saw one of his shadows come and tip Bradley's drink over on himself. Bradley excused himself to the restroom.

As soon as he disappeared into the crowd, you felt the warmth creep across you.

"Stop it." You hissed out. The shadow wrapped around your throat before blowing across your ear. "C'mon, Seph, quit wasting your time with him. You know you want to give in. How can you say no to this?" He asked you as a shadowy hand slipped under your skirt and wisped over your cloth covered core.

"Hades!" You squeak out as you lurched forward.

Just then, you felt a warn hand on the small of your back. You looked up, and Jake was looming over you. He threw a handful of bills onto the bar before grabbing you by the forearm.

"We are leaving. Now. " He stated hotly before practically dragging you out.

.............

Hours later, Jake had you cuffed to his bed with a blind fold over your eyes as he pulled your sixth? No— seventh orgasm from you. At this point, you'd lost count at how many times he'd used his lips and tongue and cock to draw out every last ounce of pleasure he could from you.

You gasped for breath as he emerged from between your legs. You couldn't see him, but you knew that his face was absolutely glistening with your release.

He leaned back on his haunches to admire the sight before him. Your entire body was flushed the same color as that pretty pomegranate drink you had earlier today.

"Think you have one more in there for me, Seph?" He asked you sweetly.

"Mhmm," you nodded. He kissed you sweetly before sliding into you and gently rocking his hips into you.

Jake removed the blindfold and untied your wrists before kissing the red marks on them.

"You're all mine, Persephone. Don't you forget it." He mumbled against you lips.

"All yous." You cried as your thighs trembled. Jake fucked both of you through your highs before pulling out and resting his forehead against yours.

He scooped you up and carefully placed you in the shower. He took his time washing every inch of you.

He helped you out and dried you with a fluffy towel before dressing you in one of his shirts and helping you into clean sheets.

You snuggled close to him, knowing there was no place you'd rather be.

[perfectiondarl1n]

headcanon of Julius with a FtM trans Bf thats a witch?

oh yay, Julius HC ask right away!! 🖤 Julius is my favorite 🖤 alright,

Julius with a trans boyfriend who is a witch:

Julius didn't bat an eye when you told him that you are trans.

"I like men and youre a man, simple as that."

a warm feeling spreads through your heart and you smile at his response. You know all the horrible deeds your demon boyfriend commits, and at times, even feel badly that you chose to be with someone capable of such awful. Things like this, his unwavering acceptance of you, act as the reminders why you love Julius so much.

When you tell Julius you're a witch, thats when there is a big reaction. his ears perk up. Julius looks at you in fascination, sets down his thread and needle to give you full attention.

You're taken by surprise to see him abandoning his work, he never does that.

"tell me, y/n, tell me everything now!!" Julius demands, smiling almost like an eager child with sparking curiosity in his light blue eyes.

Butterflies fill your stomach. You can't help but blush. Julius chosing to abandon his work in order to give you his undivided attention is the highest compliment.

The way Julius is looking at you has you flustered. Now you aren't quite sure where to begin, and fumble for words.

Julius stands up and takes your hand, leading you to the couch. As you walk, you can't help but once again notice how much your boyfriend towers over you, and everyone else. You love it, it makes you feel safe. Julius is dangerous but not towards you - he'll be dangerous to anyone who tries to bring you harm.

Even though you can protect yourself very well as a witch, Julius is still going to be over the top protective of you. It's part of the package deal that's dating Julius. You think it's sweet.

Julius sits on the couch, and you go to sit down next to him, only to find yourself being picked up and gently dropped into his lap. His muscular arms wrap around you,

"Y/N, I said tell me everything - you know I'm not a patient man~" the last part is playful, not threatening.

You nod and begin to tell Julius about your roots as a witch and all about the times when you were still learning to perform magic.

Julius is listening intently the entire time but he does often interrupt, blurting out a question or a compliment.

You answer all the questions and blush at the compliments, thanking him.

The two of you are up nearly all night talking. It warms your soul to see Julius so invested and interested about such an important part of yourself.

"I'm so glad you told me, my darling. I feel closer than ever to you now." He tells you

"You do? Why?"

"Yes, because now I know that neither of us are exactly human, are we?" He winks and kisses your cheek. "How about tomorrow, you show me some of your magic?"

You blush a bit and you nod, but ask him "why not today?"

"Because today, maybe I want to keep you preoccupied with something else, my beautiful witch~"

Your blush darkens as your lips meet each others. Julius was right, you think as the two of you are kissing, it really does feel like the two of you are now closer than ever before.

Hope this was okay!! 🖤 feel free to send more requests (especially more about Julius 👀)! 🖤🖤

[kame-writes]

Cannibals Curse Part 2

- A friend in Feed

Rosie didn't often venture outside of her territory, Cannibal Town was her territory, and that's where her people were. But she did have friends outside of her community, and there were always deals to be made, and trades to negotiate.

However, today any plans went out the window, as soon as she saw the sight just outside the outskirts of her town.

A sinner, viciously ripping into another, and seemingly completely lost in the animalistic need to feed. It was a situation she'd seen many times before, and like others before him, she wasn't about to let him suffer alone, and find out about his curse the hard way.

The bloody massacre obscured a lot of things, but the scent of the freshly fallen, a lingering freshness of ozone clinging to someone's damned soul, was unmistakable. Poor guy couldn't have been down here more than a day, usually it took longer for the urge to overwhelm a poor cannibal sinner.

Rosie approached carefully, stepping as close as she could before the Demonic Deer started to growl in a low warning. “Easy there darling. I wouldn't dare interrupt your meal.” she laughed, leaning forward on her umbrella, standing her ground, but showing she wasn't backing down from his threat.

She watched his eyes, with their curiously shaped pupils, narrow suspiciously, before he returned to ripping apart the remains in front of him. There was no use trying to talk or explain anything to him in this state, she could be patient. In the meantime, she looked over his peculiar form.

His limbs were long and seemed to have extra joints, even his neck. Two tuffs of either hair, or fluffy ears stood proud form his hair, framing the two large antlers that protruded from his skull. A deer, she assumed. Interesting choice for someone who was clearly not meek prey, but death had a sense of irony for these things.

His eyes were interesting, they reminded her of dials on her gramophone or radio. And if she listened carefully, she could just about make out the sound of static that seemed to be mixed in with the animalistic grunts and growls.

Alastor wasn't in his right mind, but he was unnerved by the way he was being observed, his mind too far gone to think logically, or be able to stop and assess the situation. His base instincts were in control, and they couldn't understand what she was doing. Was she a scavenger? Come to steal any scraps he might leave behind? She didn't seem to mean him any harm, nothing about her posture or demeanor indicated an intent to harm him.

He sat up enough to observe the strange woman. Her jet black eyes, soulless and empty, and yet, still managing to convey her expressions somehow. Her teeth were sharp as needles, sharp as his. She'd surely be able to hunt for her own food? Despite how protective he felt over his kill, he lifted the dead man's arm and bit off a hand, his sharp teeth crunching through bone with ease, and threw it towards the strange woman.

Rosie blinked in surprise at the gesture. Well, that was something she hadn't been expecting. Freshly fallen cannibals were usually feral, selfish and fiercely territorial over their kills. A slight noise from the sinner tugged her lips up into a genuine smile.

“Well, aren't you just a perfect gentleman?” She leant down to pick up the offered appendage, and decided instead to take a seat on the curb. She wasn't exactly hungry, but she appreciated the offer, and didn't want to wound his pride, so she nibbled on a finger as she continued to watch the curious creature feed.

He barely looked at her other after that, digging into his meal until there was barely anything left of his poor victim. Rosie just watched and waited patiently, until he was mostly just picking at the scraps of bone and flesh.

“I don't think you're gonna get much more off the poor sod.” Rosie pointed out, head tilted slightly to the side. Hopefully the worst of the curse would have worked its way through his system now that he'd satiated the urge.

Alastor looked up at her voice, dark radio dial eyes changing to blood red with magenta pupils in a blink, clarity starting to sink into the scarlet depths.

There was a sickening popping sound, clicking bones and an alarmed animal noise, then suddenly a much more human shaped sinner was staring at her with wide eyes, quickly glancing between her and the carcass in front of him. He almost tripped over himself as he scrambled to his feet and backed up.

“Feel better after your feast?” Rosie asked, her voice just flirting between teasing and sincere, standing up and dusting off her dress, the lightly snacked on hand remaining on the floor.

“It wasn't enough.” His voice was a quiet, erie whisper, cracking on what sounded suspiciously like static. It didn't sound like he had meant to speak out loud at all, his mouth a wavering frown. He looked almost innocent, if not for the blood and viscera clinging to him. His half hearted attempt to wipe some of the gore from his face was futile, but he was obviously ashamed and confused to have a witness to his actions.

“Oh, honey. I'm afraid it never is.” Rosie sympathised with an understanding sigh. There hadn't been anything he could do to control himself, no one ever could their first time, and even afterwards it took considerable effort and power. He looked lost, and not just physically. Not everyone was able to, or cared to, remember much when they arrived in Hell. “Do you have a name?”

He hesitated, grabbing the almost forgotten knife, and glancing behind him, debating running away. He couldn't trust this woman, he didn't know where he was, or what had, possibly quite literally, possessed him just now. He wasn't going to reveal who he was and give up even the slightest advantage of surprise or mystery.

“Not much of a Talker, are ya?” Rosie realised that he wasn't willing to tell her, whether he knew the answer himself was another question altogether. There would be time for that later. “Tell you what. Why don't you follow ol’ Rosie to a place you can get cleaned up? I'll do my best to explain what's happening on the way.”

“If this is some kind of trick…” There was a bite to his voice, his eyes had a dangerous gleam that was far too aware to be any lingering effects from his animalistic urges.

“No tricks. Believe me, you're not the first sinner to get the curse, and I doubt you'll be the last.” Rosie assured him, turning to gesture towards the entrance to Cannibal Town with her umbrella. “But I can assure you, Cannibal Town is possibly the safest place in all of Hell for you to be until you get it under control.”

“Sinner? Hell?” Alastor sounded curious, but not accusatory, turning to take in his surroundings fully, now his mind was finally clear. Things were indeed wrong, there was no denying it. The sky was wrong, the streets were wrong, the smell was wrong, everything felt off and unfamiliar.

He looked upwards and didn't see a single cloud or star in the darkest red night sky. There was a brightly glowing sigil above him, and it made him feel uneasy to look at it.

“Geez, ya must have literally just got here if ya hadn't worked that out yet.” Her voice was soft, a concerned tone that Alastor had only heard from possibly two other people in his whole life. “It must be quite a shock.”

Alastor stared ahead, not hearing anything as it sank in. He was dead, and this place was his punishment. The sharp pain in his head persisted, but try as he might, he couldn't remember where he was before he woke up in the middle of the street. He wouldn't see anyone he knew again, not unless they ended up dragged down with him in damnation.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. What was it his mother had told him to do in worrying situations, or when he was upset or scared? ‘Smile on the outside baby, hopefully someday the inside might match it.’ He could do that.

When he opened his eyes, his smile was wide and eyes bright. “Well then, my dear. It seems I have little choice but to go along with you for the time being. That is, if you're amicable to fill me in on what is going on, and how all of this works?”

Rosie was a little taken aback at how easily the sinner slipped into an unaffected persona, as if this was natural for him, even covered in the evidence of what he'd done. But she chuckled and didn't pull him up on it. If that's what he needed to do to cope, then far be it for her to stop him. “Well then, if you'd like to follow me, I'll set you up with some clean clothes, and we can talk over some tea. How that sound to you?”

“For a price, I presume?” Alastor asked with a knowing look. Isn't that what his attacker had said? Everything had a price in life, why would the afterlife be any different?

“My, you catch on quick, don't cha?” Rosie was impressed with how quickly he picked up the rules. If he already understood the politics, or how dangerous owing favours were around here, on day one, then he was going to do just fine. “Don't you worry, this one's for free. Call me a softie, but I like people to get settled before there's any expectations. Think of it as a little welcome present from me.

“Hmmmm.” Alastor didn't trust it to be this easy, there was a catch, he was sure if it. But for now he really didn't have any other options available to him. He'd have to play nice and just keep on his toes in case she took a nasty turn against him.

Prev - Next

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Team RWBY as also "bad protagonists" because they apparently don't affect the main plot or at least aren't constantly driving the main storyline forth at a nonstop pace. Yeah that also baffles me because "team RWBY don't affect the main plot" How? They are the main plot!

I think it's partly motivated by a mentality that they "don't do enough" or "don't do it correctly".

The kinds of things that Team RWBY tends to do are more about the value of small and partial victories, the resilience and healing needed to keep going in the face of relentless evil or failures by forming strong bonds with each other, and the willingness to lean on others and trust others to continue the fight when you've fallen down.

A running theme of most views like the original point was making seems to operate on the notion that the only valuable thing a protagonist should do is big, grandiose absolute victories that fix everything perfectly and put them as the big saviors whom all should respect and defer to.

In other words, a lot like how a lot of people seemed to think Adam and Ironwood would be.

But the series actively skewered and dissects this mentality, with those two being highlighted more and more overtime as being intensely self-righteous at best and downright monstrous because all they really care about is their own grandiose fantasies at the expense of others.

Hell, Ozpin, even if his own goals were better-intended, suffered from this issue for millennia, since his belief that he was the only one who could oppose Salem and fixation on the bigger picture meant that he constantly overlooked how his "perfect world order" was cracking and falling apart at the seams because of the numerous small failings and societal issues he considered to be less important than defeating Salem (whom was smart enough to recognize his bad habits and exploited it ruthlessly), and arguably to the point of overlooking the possibility that his entire quest set to him by his God was likely never intended to succeed in the first place, because his goal was fundamentally impossible.

RWBY is a story about the small victories, how they can inspire others to try their best, even if only a little bit, and how the little things can build and improve to truly enacting change, in ways that grandiose gestures and fixation on bigger glories can overlook, or outright actively harm. How much the small things we do to help others can snowball into bigger and more profound impacts because we as people remember to actually care about others, instead of seeing them as a stepping stone for "the main characters".

And more than anything, that justice and a better world is a living and breathing organism that needs to be cultivated and nurtured with care and compassion, acknowledging and addressing the warts and all of society and that the fight never ends no matter how much people might want a guaranteed "happily ever after". Not forced at gunpoint or by "purging the problems until they go away" by those who think everything should be solved by the egomaniacs with the biggest god complexes.

That's exactly it. This isn't a story where we find a giant superweapon or where we have a series of battles where some win and some lose. Salem is immortal, infinitely patient, and the game is rigged against them. The only way to win is to change the fundamental narrative of Remnant itself. It's a story about broadening your understanding, learning to get back up, accepting yourself. Which often leads to cool battles, yes, because the demons of human nature here occasionally have the form of literal demons you can shoot in the face.

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 9

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen Chapter 9 Wordcount: 2992 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael Summary: Turns out demons aren't very good at writing ethics papers, but Jake looks damn good in spandex. You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

First Chapter || Prev Chapter || Next Chapter > (Next Tuesday!)

Chapter 9 - Dear Jakey, Sweater Paws

“Jakeyyy~!” Aya crowed as she practically danced in circles around him. “You brought me lunch? This is the sweetest thing a human has ever done for me!”

Jake laughed. Bunny had literally left him holding the bag - of chicken strips. Her phone rang as they got back to the dorm, and she took her lunch and disappeared to who knows where. Probably some kind of workout session, knowing her. Yoga, maybe. Anyway, now he got to deal with the entire force of Aya’s personality all by himself. He should be scandalized or horrified or even just being sarcastic but he was honestly just happy. Aya was a fun friend, and her energy was contagious.

“I may have carried it, but Bunny paid for it.” Jake said, not about to take credit for generosity that wasn’t his. 

“Aw, she’s the sweetest. She always thinks I need to eat more so that I, how did she put it, bulk up properly? Something about sick gains. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m just destined to be tiny. Doesn’t matter what or who I eat, this is the size I am.”

“Well, you’re adorable and even if I could change you, I wouldn’t.” Jake said, handing the girl a sweet tea.

“Oh, you charmer! You’re just lucky you’re the gayest thing since Elton John.”

Jake considered. “Wait. Gayer than Lil Nas X?”

“…Who?” Aya blinked, and then shrugged, and Jake realized that he had some educating to do.

“You seriously don’t know who… oh, honey.” Jake reached for his phone only to realize that he didn’t have it because Gabriel was trying to fix it.

“Jake, where’s your phone?”

“Broken.” He muttered. “It wouldn’t turn on this morning. Gabriel’s looking at it, but I have felt completely naked without it today. I’ll text you some pics of Lil Nas X once I get it back.”

“Yes, please. He sounds intriguing. Well anyway, you won’t need your phone to do classwork, but I need you for it. Please, for the love of all that’s unholy help me with this ethics paper I’m dying.”

Jake laughed and let himself be led to the lounge - the best place to both eat their lunch and work on homework. 

It took most of the afternoon to get through writing their ethics papers, Aya was exactly as clueless about Celestial Realm ethics as Jake would expect a demon to be, so it was more like a tutoring session that he also wrote a paper during. Which was fine, honestly, Aya was great company. And they got the work done, so he really had nothing to complain about. Except possibly not having his phone.

As Jake was taking his study materials back to his room, Gabriel called out to him.

“Hey, Jake. I’ve got your device.”

“Oh, cool!” He said, glad that he would soon be able to message his family again. And text Aya those pictures. Seriously. How did she not know modern rappers? “Let me just set these things down. C’mon in.”

Gabriel followed him into the room, waiting patiently while Jake set his armload of notebooks and study materials on his desk before turning back to the angel.

“So, what was wrong with it?”

“I have no idea.” Gabriel said, a vague irritation in his tone that Jake knew wasn’t at him, but at the vagaries of broken technology. “I tried everything I could to diagnose the issue, but you may as well have handed me an expensive brick this morning for all the good it did me. Luckily, I could swap the storage media into a new device, so you’re back up and running relatively quickly.”

“Huh. Uh, well thanks for getting me a new one, then? And if you ever do figure out what I did to break that one, let me know? That way I don’t give you a second expensive brick.”

Gabriel grinned at that, and Jake was happy to see it.

“Gabriel.” Michael called from his office, and the angel stepped inside.

“You called, Michael?”

“Yes. Sometime last night I lost my connection to Jacob’s C.C.C. I think something may have happened to the oversight application.”

Gabriel winced. He was hoping that Michael wouldn’t notice the change, because it would mean that the angel wasn’t as obsessively cyber-stalking their new exchange student as much as Gabriel just knew he would be.

“Ah, well, actually…” He sighed. “The C.C.C. that Jake was using broke, and so—“

“It broke? Did he throw it against a wall or something?”

Gabriel cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses, and continued what he was saying. “Something in the internals fried overnight while it was charging. I haven’t had a chance to pinpoint the exact problem, but I moved his data into a new device. Unfortunately, I forgot about the oversight application as I had too much on my mind today. I can get it back from him for some ‘preventative maintenance’ if you would like me to get the application added back, but I can’t guarantee he won’t notice at that point.”

Michael muttered something under his breath that Gabriel didn’t catch, but shook his head. “No, it’s fine. The oversight of the exchange students is Raphael’s responsibility now, I suppose I should have transferred the oversight application to him regardless. Do check in with him, he may want you to add it back.”

“I’ll check with him this evening, then. Is there anything else?”

“No, that was all. Thank you, Gabriel.”

Free time wasn’t something that Jake got a lot of, and so on nights like tonight when he had all of his homework done and had nothing else going because everyone else was busy with their own things. So there he lay, like a starfish on his way-too-big bed, thinking about the mischief he, Nia, and the girls could be getting up to if only he weren’t in this hell masquerading as heaven called the Celestial Realm.

Nia > Jake: Jaaaaaake Jake > Nia: Hey girl, what’s up? Nia > Jake: I need help

Jake stared at his phone. How was he supposed to help his bestie from all the way up here in the Celestial Realm? He supposed he could call her mother and exert some influence that way.

Jake > Nia: Are you hurt? Should I call someone? Nia > Jake: No. I… I kissed Satan tonight.

Oh. OH. That kind of help. He was here for this. So much better than any other conversation he could be having at this point.

Jake > Nia: Tell me everything.

For the next hour, Jake and Nia talked back and forth. She’d found herself falling in love with the very demon she’d sent her first Devildom-selfie of. But he’d known that she had feelings for Mammon as well. Add that to the amount of time she’d been spending working out with Beelzebub (mirroring his own time with Bunny, he’d not hesitated to tell her in his amusement) and it was a very complicated time for his naïve bestie.

After hearing her out, he gave her the best advice he possibly could in the situation. He didn’t know really anything about Demon relationships, but he knew that Nia was an incredibly open-minded but self-sacrificing girl, and needed to be encouraged to do things that were good for her and not just for everyone else. Also, she was going to be there an entire year, but only a year. So she should live it up and not be afraid to make mistakes.

Jake > Nia: Girl, you’re far too caring for your own good. You’re in literal hell. If you feel like kissing boys, kiss boys! Jake > Nia: But if you feel more than just kissing, if you actually think you might like one of them, you have to talk to them about it. I bet there’s a lot more to it for them to be with a human.

Nia didn’t respond after that, but given how late it was, he wasn’t really surprised. She’d probably fallen asleep. Which was a thing he should probably also think about doing, because he had a run planned with Bunny and Aya bright and early in the morning.

Jake woke, hopped out of bed and into his workout clothes. Which were the jeans and t-shirt he’d been wearing when he got teleported here. He still hadn’t figured out if there was a way for him to go shopping - he didn’t have any spending money. Well, he had the $10 that lived in the coin pocket of his jeans for emergencies, but he had the distinct impression that human world money was going to be useless here.

A soft knock at his door told him the demon girls had arrived, and he swung the door open, waving as he bent down to tie his shoes.

“Glad to have you joining us this morning, Aya!” Jake said quietly but energetically.

“Jake.” Aya said, and the deadpan tone of her voice made him stop and look up at her. “You are not seriously working out in jeans.”

“Yep.” he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s that or uniform khakis, and…”

“Ew.” Aya said with a shiver. “I have spare workout clothes. They’ll fit you.” She grabbed his hand and practically dragged him behind her up the stairs to her room. She didn’t seem to care that his shoes were still untied. Maybe it was for the best, if he was changing.

Aya let him go once they were in her room, pulled out one of the drawers of her dresser and threw a pair of black/white/vibrant blue color blocked leggings and a practically paper thin long-sleeved top in a coordinating black at him. 

“Change.”

Jake blinked. “Here?”

“Duh, idiot. I’m not into you, you’re not into me, get on with it we’re wasting day— shit, I was going to say we’re wasting daylight but I could just dump all the daylight out and still have too much.”

“I miss the moon.” Bunny said sadly from the doorway.

Jake pulled his top and jeans off in record time, and shimmied into the spandex-heavy leggings that fit him like a surprisingly comfortable glove, at a nice capri-length. Then he pulled the top over his head. It did not fit him near as well, seeming more 3/4 sleeved and crop-top length.

“Uh… I’m not sure if…” He said, awkwardly, trailing off less because he didn’t know what to say and more because he got to watch Aya shift into and then promptly right back out of her demon form.

“Be sure. Those look better on you than they ever did on me. They’re yours now. I never want to see them unless they’re on your body or the floor.”

“Wait, why the floor? And are you okay?”

“She lied about not being into you. She thinks you’re sexy, but she respects that you’re gay. Don’t worry about it.” Bunny said with a chuckle. “Can we run now?”

One good run later, Jake and his demon girls were heading back to their rooms to change for breakfast. It was a day off of classes, so Jake had agreed to not only the morning run but also spotting weights for Bunny after breakfast. He wasn’t going to change out of his workout clothes, but he wanted to grab his hoodie to keep his midriff covered for breakfast. And, because the cool indoor temperatures were going to chill him down pretty fast, so he needed something more than an almost-present workout top.

He said ‘his hoodie’ but of course it was one of Bunny’s that she’d loaned him early on when she learned he didn’t have one. So, he was practically drowning in the oversized thing, conveniently hiding most of his workout clothes from his dormmates’ prying eyes. Which, if Aya’s reaction when he’d first put them on was anything to go by, was probably a good thing.

Just as he was picking his phone back up with his sweater-paws, it chimed in his hand. Nia was awake, and messaging him. He pushed his sleeves up so he could type back to her, leaning on the wall while he waited for Aya to come back downstairs so they could walk to breakfast together.

Nia > Jake: Thanks, Jake. You’re the best, you know that? Jake > Nia: Of course I know that! I’m happy to help, just keep talking to me okay? Nia > Jake: Duh! Oh, hey, I’m gonna ask Diavolo if I can get some of my books from home, is there anything you want from home while I’m asking? Jake > Nia: Girl Scout Cookies? Nia > Jake: I will do my very best to acquire cookies. Jake > Nia: Thanks!!!!

As Aya started down the stairs in front of him, Jake went to put his phone in his pocket. Of course, he fumbled it, sending the brand new device skittering across the floor.

“That’s why we have cases.” Aya said, bending down to pick his phone up from where it slid to a stop by her feet, unashamedly reading the messages from Nia that were up on the screen. Jake was suddenly glad that a majority of their conversation about kissing demons had scrolled off the top with their talk about home.

“Oh! I always wanted to know this, and you can tell me!” She said, as she handed him his phone back. “Are girl scout cookies made with girl scouts, the way chocolate chip cookies are made with chocolate chips?”

Jake looked up at her, suddenly wondering if she meant literally. The shit-eating grin on her face told him she definitely didn’t mean it.

“No, and they aren’t even baked by girl scouts anymore. They’re just small batch shelf-stable cookies that support little girls doing outdoorsy shenanigans.”

Aya stuck her tongue out at him for not playing along, and they shared a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Bunny asked, as they met up just outside the dining room.

“Jake’s friend is going to have cookies sent for him!” Aya said, and Jake mirrored her previous action and stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m trying to. Who knows what Nia can pull, you know?”

For not the first time, Jake wished that he could leave a meal early. He’d finished eating five minutes ago, but he wasn’t allowed to leave for another five. It felt like an eternity and a waste of his precious, mortal life. He dropped his super-long sleeves over his hands, returning to his comfort-place of sweater-paws, and put his head down on the table where his plate used to be, before Bunny swiped it to steal his leftover syrup. After the day she’d eaten an entire bottle of syrup on her pancakes they started limiting how much she could have, and Jake hated that, so he always took too much so she could have his extra.

He chuckled behind his sleeves, remembering the first time he’d offered his extra syrup to Bunny, the way Gabriel’s face had tensed up. The IT angel thought the idea of sharing the leftover syrup on his plate was the grossest thing he’d ever seen. Jake was just glad he didn’t let his squicks about food keep him from being willing to fix Jake’s tech when it failed him.

When he looked over to see if Gabriel was being grossed out as usual, instead his eyes caught on Raphael’s. The discipline angel was looking curiously at his sweater-paws, so Jake flopped them out at the angel and made a face. “Nyaa.” He winked, causing Raphael to look away awkwardly. Well. Maybe he wasn’t a fan of sweater paws. Why did I wink at him?! Well, that was obvious. Because that was his usual. Being a bratty kitty with his sweater paws at Nia’s sisters, and then winking at Nia when she teased him about it. It was reflex. Just reflex.

When lunch finally adjourned, Jake helped clear the dishes to the kitchen - he was on dishes duty with Azrael today.

“Hey, Az. Erm, Azrael, sorry.” He said, greeting the angel who was transferring any leftover food into containers to store in the refrigerator.

“Jake.” She smiled at him, not acknowledging his slip into habitual nicknaming. “I saw you take too much syrup for Yboun’dih again this morning.”

“What can I say?” he shrugged. “Gotta look out for the little guy.”

“I don’t know whether to take that as that I should keep my guard up around you, or that you somehow consider that demoness the underdog in the situation. She certainly isn’t little.” Azrael was laughing softly, so Jake wasn’t worried that she was actually concerned, and flailed his sweater-paws in her direction. “Okay, and also where did you get a sweater that is that large on you? Oh wait. It’s in return for your syrup tithe, isn’t it.”

Jake chuckled and shook his head. “Bunny just realized I was cold one day and didn’t have a sweatshirt, so loaned me one of hers. If I tuck my knees up to my chest I can basically hide all of me inside of it without stretching it, it’s great!”

“Okay, Sweater Kitten. Come dry dishes so we can both get on with our day.”

Jake set his sweatshirt aside and worked side-by-side with Azrael on the dishes in companionable silence. He really felt like he’d made friends with the angel of death. Though, just thinking of her as the angel of death made him wonder if he’d somehow dreamed the whole thing. He should ask her about what it meant to be the angel of death at some point. Like, she’d said she didn’t like talking to mortals because of it, but he knew nothing about what she actually did, and he cared enough about her to want to find out. Next time, though. He wanted to give the conversation the time and attention it deserved, and Bunny was waiting for him in the common room.

[tobiasdrake]

Deeper we go into the Autumn Hills.

What have we got here? Hmm....

The teachings say, "Ha! Mine now, fucko! Should have guarded it better if you didn't want it swiped."

But the teachings also say, "If you don't know what it is, you can always just try hitting it really hard. That always works for me."

So, I believe the proper course of action is....

Praise the goddess.

...oh....

Was I... Was I supposed to....

...

<.< >.> The goddess made me do it.

So you don't know for sure that I shouldn't have smashed it, then. Good enough for me. If it can't be proven that I've done anything wrong then by definition I have done nothing wrong. That's. Like. Justice or something.

HI. UM.

I. Was trying. To take a shortcut. >.> A very ill-advised shortcut, it would seem. Literally just had to be a little more patient. <.< But patience is haaaaaaaard.

Please tell nobody about this. You have no idea how embarrassing this is. I would hate to have a return trip through this room, after the trivially easy platforming puzzle has already been solved, published publicly as my first death.

...so, are you a nice demon?

HEY, now that is uncalled for. I....

*glances around the room*

...I... resent the accuracy of that remark.

...because we're besties?

Gonna be honest, I felt so much aggressive nothing when the other ninjas in my clan died that I'm realizing now that I might not have had any friends at all. Ever, as a matter of fact.

So.

If you want.

<.< Maybe... you could be my friend?

Got it. So, my takeaway from this is that any time I want to hang out with my new bestie I just have to kill myself. That's easy. Do you know how easy it is to die? Super easy.

You and I are gonna get along great. Like two rays in a moonbeam.

That doesn't sound so tough. In fact, I'm pretty sure the Lunar Scriptures mentioned Luana kicking the shit out of something like that in these very woods. So I think I have a fair understanding for what to expect.

So, yes, it is exactly the same kind of thing. Cool. I believe my teachings have thoroughly prepared me for this.

Oh, wow. You are an ugly son of a bitch, aren't you? Don't look so tough, though. Well, why don't we get to--

OH GODDESS, THE TEACHINGS DIDN'T PREPARE ME FOR SHIT

I will thwack away your kneecaps you overgrown twig. I know your weak spot now. It's the shins.

*huff huff huff* There. Fuck. I thought for a moment I was going to get to hang out with my besti-- Wow, there are no stakes of any kind for me anymore. That's strangely liberating.