#it would be a healing experience i think
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time travel au where liu qingge and shen qingqiu (yuan) end up accidentally traveling a decade back in time before luo binghe was amitted to qing jing peak and before shen qingqiu had his qi deviation, but after their generation has risen to peak lords.
which means, shen yuan realizes quickly, as they're accosted by said peak lords, that he will have to face shen jiu.
as they're being cleared for demonic energy and the likes, mu qingfang of course instantly detects the poison without a cure eating away at shen yuan's meridians. liu qingge pulls a copy of the treatment plan out of his sleeve (shen yuan blushes a bit, did liu qingge always keep that on hand?), and just like in the current timeline, they agree to keep it under wraps.
shen jiu tries various times to get a moment alone with shen yuan, but he never quite manages because liu qingge is there, who is also... nice?? to him?? for some reason?? shen jiu gets a bit flustered at the solemn politeness and skitters off.
it comes out pretty quickly that shen yuan has "memory loss", and thus can't remember anything that's currently taking place in this time. shen yuan expects scorn, hatred and disdain from shen jiu, expects to be grabbed and interrogated, to arouse suspicion.
but shen jiu looks....... sad???
being transported here threw shen yuan's qi off-balance (even liu qingge had to sit down, which means it's bad), and his cultivation is already so unstable, so when the peak lords are all squabbling and arguing and threatening and raising their voice, he can feel his body shut down. he sees yue qingyuan start to move towards him, which, knowing the future yue qingyuan, he really isn't up for right now—but before the sect leader can get to him someone else is at his back, transferring him qi, holding him up gently by his shoulders, then coaxing him up, leading him outside
shen yuan's been fed qi by every peak lord at least once. he doesn't recognize this one. that means it can only be one person.
he looks up. it's shen jiu.
and it's bizarre, getting fussed over by the scum villain, having gentle hands run along his back, his hair, that clear, soothing voice calming him down. and somehow shen jiu knows exactly what to do?? somehow it works perfectly on him?? it's almost as if shen jiu has known him his whole—
oh.
bodies, like homes, hold memories, even if the original occupants are no longer there. it's the milestone marks on the doorpost that chart a child's growth, blurry photographs faded by time, scuffed floors from well-walked paths, and tiny holes in the walls where pictures once hung.
shen jiu takes him to the bamboo house, pours him tea, and asks, calmly, what he remembers from their childhood.
it's not his childhood, so shen yuan doesn't actually remember anything, but the body he's in does. the memories it holds are emotional rather than visual; he remembers being alone, scared, and hungry. he remembers anger, pain. a dark room. loud voices. he remembers his heart skipping a beat when heavy boots stomp his way. the sound of a whip.
he doesn't have to lie. the memories aren't his own, and they're from long ago, which means shen jiu has them too. and, he supposes, this is his only chance to find out what really happened.
but shen jiu doesn't say anything about it. he just nods and stares, intensely. then he asks shen yuan if he remembers yue qingyuan. shen yuan says no, he doesn't. the conversation takes a very strange turn after that. shen yuan can't help but feel a little queasy when shen jiu asks him if yue qingyuan has taken advantage of his memory loss.
"has he come into your home? has he brought you gifts, sweets? does he invite you for tea? did you accept?"
he has. shen yuan doesn't know why that would be a problem, the sect leader has been nothing but kind and helpful and patient. and generous, too.
when he says yes shen jiu looks furious.
liu qingge (his one) comes to pick him up, and his time with shen jiu is cut short. somewhere he's glad, cuddling into liu qingge's back as he holds him while they fly. he feels a little bad for yue qingyuan, knowing he's probably caused a big fight, but it doesn't sit right with him. he wishes he knew what happened.
.
liu qingge, meanwhile, is having the time of his life fighting himself. it's good practice!
#shen bros but its future and past but actually its shen jiu and shen yuan#shen jiu is angry that yue qingyuan keeps trying to get in knowing that sqq can't remember why they fell out btw#i love a protective shen jiu<3#hes still a hissy bitch to everyone else dont worry. i just think he should experience some self love#it would be a healing experience i think#to have him take care of a vulnerable version of himself#something something healing his inner kid#yue qingyuan tries to spoil the new xiao jiu too (he cant help it)#but shen jiu goes mama bear on him (growling biting mauling)#also shen yuan's closeness with liu qingge obvs starts a rumor that they're dating#so theres that too#svsss au#time travel au#svsss time travel au#shen yuan#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#yue qingyuan#shen bros#scum villain#scum villian’s self saving system
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS (2020) // JULIE E OS FANTASMAS (2011) 1.01 - Wake Up // 1.01 - Enfrentando Fantasmas -> Julie meets the Band.
#julie and the phantoms#julie e os fantasmas#jatp#mine#mine:gif#storytime: when i was in middle school i found myself to be obsessed with julie e os fantasmas (jeof)#and by watching it i have learned some words in portoguese which - later in my life - i have always wanted to learn better#besides that - in middle school i used to wear julie's iconic side ponytail !! i was THE biggest jeof fan like EVER#i used to watch it with my little sister and i would pretend i had some ghosts friends as well - popping out of my stereo (lol)#so... flash forward to 2020. i can't recall HOW i found out about jatp... it's just that i have heard of it and i was like hold on...#does this have to do anything with jeof? so i was super intrigued and watched the pilot and YES!! a brand new up-to-date remake#of my favorite tv show as a kid LIKE WOW. and idk i thought it was somehow underground as the og one ... saw NO ONE talking about it online#until up recently when i got back on tumblr (actually 2 years ago) and i saw there was this LIVELY community of people appreaciating this#show AS MUCH as i was appreciating the og as a youngster.#goes without saying that it was so surprising to me and it healed parts of me that i didn't think needed to be healed. wow. just wow.#i have never posted content for these two bad boys#mostly bcs i was salty that jatp was canceled (ugh) until now!! i hope you enjoyyyyy#ALSO i remember as a kid i was watching jeof on tv right? but i had missed some episodes so i remember LMAO going online and there was this#website (like a random person's own website) that was hosting all of the episodes. my very first experience with streaming series online
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i am so fucking glad cap can just be gay now. like it isnt a question, there isnt a moment of hesitation, it isn't covered up. he just is. and the he that he is is gay. like in previous seasons, that "lets not be too hasty" might have still happened, but the ghosts would make a face. and cap would clear his throat and deflect and bloviate like "by which I mean, of course, that I'm very interested. ahem. in the upcoming weather, and- well, eaughghg" but now he just gets to. find a man attractive. and say it. and no one bats an eye. I'm just so proud of him. and so glad he has that.
like, I can imagine the look on his face when button house holds a pride meetup and everyone is sitting around talking about their experiences and just. casually being queer and existing together. and he can just sit in one of the plastic chairs and listen and close his eyes and pretend for a moment that he is part of that community. yknow what i mean.
#i just want him to be able to sit and listen to queer experiences and see queer people#being openly and casually intimate and it being normal#like that would heal him so right#i know it#bbc ghosts#anyway im so glad they gave him that moment.#i know its a dick joke i know but i think its emotional.#ghost5#ghosts s5#ghosts spoilers#the captain
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Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.
I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.
I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.
Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.
Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"
But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.
Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.
Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?
Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?
"What happened...to us?"
#I just think the tragedy of falling out of love for the person who represents who they Used to be is so...so painful#Kacchan isn't even here yet and it's already so complicated.#also. Izch healing together after all this would also be really nice#if u like them ending up together thats also perfectly fine too. im just a bkdk and tgck truther myself. thats kinda my whole thing#but izch forming a deep bond from their experiences and saving eachother#and maybe later on trying to date too...oh boy#and them being able to just...be more casual again. talk abt their lives and dreams together too just so they know they have each other#oh itd be so healing and beautiful#im so glad izuku talked to ochako on that cliff man oh man...#izuocha the underrated tragic love that they could've been if ppl werent so close minded abt them#only the real izch fans understand just how much these two actually mean to each other. god bless yall I swear even if I dont ship ship it#thank u to that person who wrote abt them being characters than run in parallel#that narrative structure for them is permanently in my brain. I love these two so much its no joke#my Extra hot take is that izch wouldve been treated better by the fandom if it was gay.#but we'd still agree on bkdk as the endgame after all that happened. maybe. idk this is a hypothetical.#if you switch ock and kats genders...this wouldve been a very different story and fandom. insane food for thought with this one.#ok thats my yap for the night oh god i have so many feelings about them...#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#izuocha#actually confidently putting this tag now. sorry for the angst you guys...and maybe being seen as a traitor#im a strong girl I could take on potential haters hahaha...#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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@openphrase123 your fanfic(s but i mainly made art of the mira and siffrin one because i cant remember words for the life of me for i do not speak french) IS???? ? SO GOOD. SO GOOD IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH finally something to look forward to in the week fr
Mild spoilers for it ig!! But nothing too explicitly groundbreaking i dont think it'll kill your mom to look at these without having read the ff first
Don't mind the shit quality i??? I drew all these so fast theyre kinda shit and i have yet to fully acclamate isat to my artstyle so it's mid
Teehee me when i make shitty rushed fanart to show my appreciation that i cannot put into words for my faovorite games and also authors
peep the rant in the tags
#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#god ive been obsessing over isat lately#its terrible how ive been feeding into it#ffs of it be having me giggling running around because siffrin is healing#not in this particular one though#at least not at the part thats written rn#i do love seeing them suffer in equal parts#siffrin my scrimblo i will microwave you#a mosquito is in my room as im typing this girl gtfo#slight spoilers for this fanfic i suppose#okay so THE FANFIC BROO that part where sif lets mira pick his name?! makes me think that sponsors always pick the names#hence why sif never got a new name and spica feels outdated#also i love LOVE seeing mirabelle get better and better at yk... remembering#needing sif to reintroduce themselves every time is such a creative way to do like a pseudo timeloop#everything was so neat#upset that i cant do them justice in drawinng though i have very little experience drawing black hairstyles#or like being around black people with such hairstyles which is a shame!! i would wanna get a better look at the texture and the variation#BACK TO THE FF i literally read this to my older brother out loud (thank god i managed to pester him to play Isat)#and my throat got so raw from speaking that i had to stop but then itd get to another cool detail and i HAD to tell him#so my throat pain? your fault not mine nuh uh not the lack of self control#case in point thanks a bunch for writing!! i wanna get as good at that as you at some point
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do you have any thoughts on zelda not staying as a dragon? me personally I like it and am very cool with it mostly because I think zelda should get to be happy forever (and because I'm smart enough to know she changed back because of recall and not some ambiguous power of love lmao) but a lot of people seem to dislike that it made the draconification inconsequential?
i think there's like. some valid concerns surrounding inconsequentiality/"curing" the physical problems characters have as a way of giving them a "happy ending" but I think those concerns don't necessarily apply to totk in the way people seem to be applying them, especially irt zelda's draconification and link's arm.
most of the time when the criticism of this "magic cure" trope is applied to media, it's because the trope is used as a cure-all to erase a character's suffering or trauma and make them "normal" again, and often ignores the character development or themes of the story in favor of giving the character a happy ending. I don't think that applies to totk, though, because the "curing" link and zelda experience is both within the realm of possibility given the worldbuilding present in the game (recall could easily have done it, as you mentioned) AND thematically consistent with the rest of the game. One of if not the most important central themes of totk is the idea of failure and second chances. we see a hyrule that has been given a second chance after link's initial failure with the calamity brought it to the brink of destruction. we see characters who were deeply unhappy and entrenched in the shame of their precalamity mistakes like purah and zelda become active, beloved members of their communities. we see the people of lurelin village take back and rebuild their destroyed home. we watch this kingdom and its people make an unprecedented comeback after a century of struggle and ruin.
Similarly, totk's gameplay is LINK's second chance, his comeback from the initial mistake of losing zelda, of specifically being unable to reach her with his injured hand when they fell. The consequences of that--the master sword's corruption, the loss of his arm, and zelda's draconification, are all supposed to SEEM irreversible, because that's how LINK initially sees them. he believes that he doomed both himself and zelda all because of that SINGLE moment in which he wasn't enough, a viewpoint which is obviously left over from the pressure he experienced to perform to an impossible standard of perfection pre-calamity. The story of totk is about deconstructing that belief and proving it wrong. the mistake he made caused harm, but it's never too late to repair things. he can fix the regional phenomena ganondorf causes and rebuild those communities. he can revitalize the master sword. he can GET ZELDA BACK, with his own arm, uninjured and able to reach her this time. no matter how impossible those things may initially seem, no matter the perceived finality of his mistakes and their consequences, there is always hope. there is always a second chance. no one person's single mistake can doom an entire kingdom for eternity. the fate of hyrule was NEVER resting on link's shoulders alone. he was never their final hope. there was always going to be an after. the whole POINT of the draconification and the loss of link's arm is that they AREN'T final. they ARE inconsequential, because they were born of one mistake and ONE MISTAKE IS NOT THE END ALL.
#like. think about the message the game sends if zelda stays a dragon. we are saying that link CAN'T come back from this mistake.#that one single split-second moment in which he made the wrong move because he had no way of knowing what to do#means that the one person who understands and supports him above all else. the one person who shares his experience and his trauma#the woman he LOVES. is gone forever with no hope of return ever and it's 100% his fault.#that's not true to the themes of botw OR totk. these games are about growth and healing and second chances.#this game was link learning that he gets a second chance. that no move he makes is the final be-all-end-all fuckup.#it removes the pressure and that's the POINT. for a character like link whose life has been DEFINED by pressure#who was taught from a horrifically young age that any wrong move on his part would KILL EVERYONE HE KNEW AND LOVED#this is such an important lesson to learn. removing that pressure/showing him that it was never actually real in the first place#is a crucial step towards healing for him.#asks#zelda analysis#totk spoilers#like i like the idea of lasting consequences dont get me wrong. <draconic features zelda enjoyer#but like. making link keep the fucking rauru arm rubs me the wrong way. the whole point is that he caught her with his own hand in the end#ugh. anyway. you get the idea
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just watched the barbie movie everyone was discoursing about last year and I can't help but feel like a lot of the problems in its execution could have been avoided if the kid character's arc had been about learning to embrace girly stuff as an act of rebellion against the adultification of teen girls while barbie went full butch transmasc
#deerchatter#i know why they didn't do that obvs the writers haven't a fucking clue what a feminism is and the bosses prefer it that way#but it's fun to think about what a good version of the premise could have looked like. there were interesting pieces on the board#the kid character could have been interesting if her arc had been about rejecting barbie bc of increasing awareness of the association#between femininity and weakness. but in wanting to gain respect she started acting and dressing like a young woman because she's at that age#where girls begin to be rewarded for being a more subdued and quote-unquote natural kind of feminine.#she could have become friends with barbie as a symbolic way to heal her inner child#meanwhile barbie takes the you-can-be-anything message to its logical extreme and decides what she wants to be is the one thing mattel will#never let her be: gender non-conforming#these 2 character arcs and where they intersect could have told the same story much better i think#emphasis on personal choice/growing up/social rebellion/embracing what will really make you happy#while also covering multiple ways to handle gendered expectations. pick out the parts you like or throw the whole gender out. both r good!#anyway i have to admit this movie was disappointing. i knew it wasn't gonna be woke but i thought it would still be a bit more fun ....#was hoping for a guilty pleasure kind of experience but even setting aside that hard thematic fumble it's underwhelming :(
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I generally don't make posts like this, cause I don't wanna start an argument or disagreement, but I do find the "Is Hyde really a person?" discourse, a bit odd...I know it's a comic, and maybe I'll be proved horribly incorrect but...
Does he have emotions, with personality traits and preferences? Yes.
Does he insist he's a person? Yes.
Then he is, in fact, a person.
#and if you disagree...lets not discuss it because I'm not good with fandom discussions XD#idk...i feel like if something say's they're a person than they're a person XD but that's just my code i guess#and i'm not trusting Franky because she's made this mistake already with her corpse son. and still can't read people well enough to know th#major violation of privacy she's currently doing to both Jekyll and Hyde#maybe i'll be proven wrong but i don't think so#cause i recall an OLD hyde drawling from Sage about how much she loved a certain scene from the musical because it was like Hyde was-#fighting for his own person hood. and thus i feel like that's where the theme is going#if the plot was just “well actually he was never really a person.” i would have the same outta body experience i did after watching-#multiverse of madness#like that just feels incompatible with the rest of the comic#BUT i'll respect whatever writing choice she makes :)#(but i will make a fix-it-fanfic to heal my heart if that's the case XD)#the glass scientists#glass scientists
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Where’s that post I made about Mike being the companion that broke under the horrors bc I’m still right. When I think abt the THINGS some companions have had to endure and have still seemingly been fine, and then I think of mike losing himself and his values to a festering psychological wound that left him open to radicalisation, it’s like he is the evidence that actually everything isn’t fine.
Which is why it’s so important that he should be next seen in meditation, in the seeking of peace, in quietness and healing because not only is he a character that needs it he’s also a character that knows he needs it and seeks it out for himself, because he doesn’t recognise who he is anymore and he wants, not to redeem himself in the eyes of others (he won’t even go near UNIT, not even when he needs their help, he goes through Sarah Jane instead!), but to become a better person, to stop being a threat, and to heal for his own soul’s sake.
And so he goes from someone who was willing to see the entirety of human history erased, to someone who will risk his life for one person and the fact that that ultimately saves his life always imo comes across as a bit easy if you watch planet of the spiders without this context in mind. But when you do think about where Mike has been, psychologically, from the green death through to planet of the spiders, it doesn’t seem easy at all but actually a significant if understated character moment.
#mike yates#waxing lyrical about my blorbos in the middle of the night#but for real mikes healing arc is SO much to me#I think one of the crucial things about the green death is firstly that the doctor asks him to go back#like I genuinely think Mike would not have been as traumatised by his experiences as he was if he hadn’t IMMEDIATELY been forced back into#the traumatic situation#and the second thing is that Jo leaves at the end#mike is straight up NOT having a good time#like he goes through an extremely traumatic event and then has to immediately reexpose himself to it without any chance to process what happ#ened to him#and then he loses one of his best friends almost immediately afterwards#ESPECIALLY since jo would be the person MOST likely to understand what he is going through#and they both know that#the first day they met Jo was manipulated into attacking her friends by a power beyond her own will#which is exactly what has just happened to Mike#and Mike witnessed All of that so he knows. he KNOWS that jo would understand#but he can’t talk to her about it because she’s getting married and leaving
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in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)
#babes i will do what i know best which is to write. study. pray. breathe.#lol you'd think after having a mental breakdown two days ago i'd be more settled in what to do#but it turns out there are many ways your heart can break!#and part of it is. yes. i know i'm stupid and have a horribly soft heart that is so so susceptible to being won over#and i AM aware that i easily love people (in a general sense) it is not hard for me to see beauty in someone and love them#because i catch a glimpse of or recognize goodness truth beauty kindness loveliness gentleness in them and it moves me deeply#i am very easily moved deeply i know this!! and i wish it weren't so sometimes#but anywayssssss insert all the things you know the routine i should've been wiser i should've been more careful#i wanted to know about him i wanted him to find me delightful and insightful and courageous and interesting#i wanted to make him laugh somehow or at least smile i wanted to see that joy of his up close#i saw a deep startling warming light in him and i wanted to draw closer#etc etc etc anywayyyyyy anyway#petrarch: Love found me all disarmed and saw the way / was clear to reach my heart down through the eyes#which have become the halls and doors of tears. / it seems to me it did him little honor / to wound me with his arrow in my state#/and to you armed not show his bow at all" etc etc you know the drill#insert ALL the things. standard stuff. i would have loved you i would have treated you tenderly i would have simply rejoiced to be near you#all of that ish and more. anyways back to real life lol i'd love to experience a love that doesn't feel like death someday#healing girl era summer '24
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I mean yes, definitely, but I also just really like projecting lmfao
#Those characters I like?#Yeah they’re me now sorry#I based their characterization on parts of my own personality#And how I reacted to being in similar situations or how I think I would react if I was in the same situation as them#Is it a character study of my personal representation of these characters#Or am I actually secretly character studying myself#Is this therapy?#This counts as therapy right#I’m not allowed to got to therapy lol#So I will instead project on my sillies and secretly vent about my own experiences through the voices I give the sillies#That’s healthy right I’m like 99% sure that’s a healthy coping mechanism#Who needs therapy (me) when you can hyperfixate on a character who has gone through far worse but similar things to you#And then let them heal and be cared for#Except you’re actively projecting on them so it’s basically you who’s healing#See. See what I did there#I’m so smart#Im gonna therapy myself one way or another#Wether I’m allowed to go to therapy or not PARENTS#Yeah. Take that. Teenage rebellion moment#I’m therapy-ing myself#🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
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I've been thinking about compiling a list of flags that I have experienced in therapy and the broader mental health field, and my list of that would be...
Red Flags:
Prioritizes the cessation of behaviours over the mental wellbeing of the person
Doesn't listen to patient feedback or relies solely on their expertise and how a patient "should" respond
Talks about other patients in a derogatory manner - even if the patient is not named nor identifying information about them is revealed
(Specific to minors) Will listen to the legal guardians over the minor, even about subject manner said minor can speak about. The professional placates to the wishes of the parent, even if placation is detrimental to the minor.
Leaves patient uneducated about treatment plan or diagnoses, or waves away explanation to the patient.
Abandons treatment without ensuring patient will be adequately taken care of
These are red flags I have observed or experienced as a patient. Broadly speaking, many indications that an expert is a bad fit is lack of communication and/or lack of listening or compassion toward the patient.
Green flags:
Fully listens to patient, validates concerns, emotions, or fears
Educates patient about any diagnoses when applicable, answers questions honestly and compassionately
Relates to patient in a professional way, doesn't force patient to divulge if they are not able or willing to at the time
Prioritizes harm reduction in tandem with addressing the underlying cause of problematic behaviour
Makes a personalized plan for the patient and regards highly what the patient assesses their needs and/or goals are
Again, I must stress that this advice is not coming from a professional. However, I have had over a decades' worth of experience with a variety of mental health professionals, each with their own red and green flags. Some of these red flags have been detrimental to my mental health and have set me back in terms of healing, which is why I stress the importance of patient advocacy and for patients to trust their institution about new mental health providers.
#mental health#mental health support#mental health advocacy#sorry for the weird tone in my posts i've just been reflecting on this#like i had a therapist quit on me. like... completely quit. it didn't help that they sided with an abuser of mine *every time*#i hadn't felt that low in my healing in... maybe ever. if i hadn't have had a small support network that would have pushed me over the edge#i think that experience has inspired me to want to be a medical professional#again i am nothing if not spiteful and vindictive about wanting to make some difference
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you think sam ever wonders if dean would have tricked him into saying yes to lucifer again if it meant saving his life.
#like. disclaimer: Dean would Not do that. not even if he was desperate#up to you if you think it’s because that’s where he draws the line about disrespecting Sam’s autonomy#or because he’s just so fucking furiously jealous that Lucifer has already gotten so much of Sam to himself that dean won’t give him more#either way he Wouldn’t. but. sam doesn’t know that does he.#the facts sam has are 1) dean okayed an angel entering his body and 2) dean lied to him about an angel being in his body#and 3) dean probably would have kept lying about it after ‘Ezekiel’ left. never told Sam what was in him.#so what’s the difference between one angel and another really? especially since Lucifer could have made that offer with much more experience#of course he can patch Sam up. he’s done it before. he’s torn him up and put him back together so many times. child’s play really.#I think the only comfort Sam would have about this is that Lucifer would not be able to help himself from giving away the game#he wants Sam’s attention sooo badly. he’d want Sam to know that he’s healing him from the inside#well then. what’s worse. his brother lying to his face about the devil possessing him. or Lucifer being the one to tell him everything.#can Sam kick Lucifer out? yes I think so. does Sam think so? very different question. after all. he couldn’t push Lucifer out last time#that he let him (hallucifer) in <3#spn#sam winchester#lucifer spn#Dean winchester
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I think rye really likes chocolate, but like... mostly very very dark chocolate. boring bitter barely sweetened adult person chocolate, to the point where most of the others find it borderline inedible. it's a regular occurrence for someone to raid the lighthouse kitchen for snacks and light up like 'ooooh wait we've got chocolate???' and someone else has to go 'yeah but it's only rook chocolate tho sorry :/'. 'oh okay :')'
#strong grassy green tea and really dark chocolate. these are the things rye would subsist on if left to his own devices#thankfully he won't be lucanis and bellara are here fhdsjkah Not On Their Fucking Watch#before lucanis i think food was an 'ugh well I GUESS I have to eat to keep my body on this side of the grave' situation for rye#at least after renn died and the kindly hand helping him sort through his likes and dislikes disappeared#but the experience of family meals and just hanging out in the kitchen and helping out here and there#and someone taking the time to figure out what he actually likes? baby we might be healing this weird little guy's relationship to food#one 'hey taste this real quick do you think it needs more salt or nah I can't decide' at a time. the chocolate & tea stay tho obviously#the more I play the more I get the sense that rye has been just. unbearably lonely for a very long time. and I um.#I want him to be happy. long comfortable evenings-into-nights around the table in the lighthouse dining hall#with everyone eating and laughing and talking together in the warm candlelight be upon you my cherished and beloved son#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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As a fandom we read aftg and collectively thought "andrew has piercings" like 90% of fanart i see he has at the very minimum 3/4 earrings
And i just love that for us
#like fr i just cant see him w at least 4 earrings#the rest is up to the artists and im never disappointed#i do have very specific ideas abt his ear piercings that come from personnal experience#i dont think they deserve their own posts but yeah#but basically w/ exy and helmets ear piercings dont seem that feasible to me besides lobes#a basic ear piercing takes around a year to heal and that's w/o helmets just normal lifzme#an helix is longer bc of their location they are more exposed#if he has ear piercings i would bet on : daith rook maybe a tragus an anti helix#source : i have 11 ear piercings 4 lobes 2 helix a daith a rook a tragus an anti tragus and a conch#also i used to do a martial art that required a helmet#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the king's men#the raven king#andrew minyard
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