#dementia care is an interesting thing honestly

[quotemenevervore]

It's fine, I asked that before I left for school, and have read it during English while making fun of us messing with Photoshop and making babies the most random colors on a participation assignment.

-Gremlin Anon

That actually sounds pretty fun lol

I’m not in school anymore, I dropped out of college (note to everyone, actually: don’t be afraid to drop out if college isn’t right for you!) but I am at work lol

Healthcare is an interesting field sometimes, I won’t lie. Especially dementia care, but it’s pretty laid back most of the time. It’s why I usually have time to work on fics or answer asks and such, it’s the hours that are the issue lol

[starbunii]

Hey there friend! I’m not sure if your requests are open, and I’m very very sorry if they’re not, but I was wondering if you could do headcanons for Kokichi, Nagito and Byakuya with a gn disabled s/o? I have really bad knees and sometimes have to use crutches or a wheelchair, and I was wondering how they’d be with that? Take your time, thank you so much and remember to take care of yourself <3

this one was rlly interesting to write!! i really like these types of asks, bc they allow me to think about how these characters would help their s/o, which is always heartwarming to think abt! i hope you don't mind me writing for nagito the most! he's a character that's very dear to me. i wanted to lean more into the fact that he's also disabled, bc i think that's really important to talk abt! either way, i hope you liked how this turned out!!

i know more abt chronic pain (guess what i have haha) than i do most disabilities, so i kind of touched on that a bit. i hope you dont mind too much

+ ° . ୨ ♡ ୧ . °

╰╮🩰🧁〣 ♡ 〢🥛

byakuya togami

spoils you to no end, in like...the most neutral way possible??? idk if that makes sense

like ensures your wheelchair is very comfortable and up to date, that you're supported when using your crutches

couches p much all around the house; that way you can sit whenever you need

a warm bath will help? his butler is already on it, bringing warm tea as well.. maybe some cookies

he'll mostly stay with you indoors, a bit afraid that something will happen and you won't be able to get help

let's just hope you like his incredibly vast library, that's where most of your dates will probably be

nagito komaeda

given that he's disabled himself, he understands a lot of the things you're going through

most days, it's hard for him to walk as well, due to his dementia

if you're ever feeling bad about your disability, he'll always comfort you! it's something he's kind of insecure about too

will 100% decorate his wheelchair to match his (idk i feel like he would have both a cane and a wheelchair, but that's just me)

you both kind of have to cling to each other when it comes to stairs, holding each other with one hand, and the railing with the other

he always has heated blankets lying around the house, so if you ever start to experience really bad pains, he's always got you covered

being a disabled couple just means you have to rely on each other a bit more. but he doesn't mind at all. it reminds him that he's not helpless or worthless; that someone loves him enough to allow him to help and to help in return <3

kokichi ouma

sometimes just wants to bridal carry you

is he strong enough to? no! does he want to? absolutely!

similar to nagito, he'll decorate your crutches and your wheelchair. he doesn't want you to think of them as dull little things. they're your assistants! they should be fun!

honestly, when Kokichi isn't with other people, he's kind of a couch potato, so you two probably won't go places together

however, if you go somewhere without him and something happens, he'll be there right away, no questions asked

he knows you can handle most things yourself, but doesn't mind helping out when you need him too (expect a bit of teasing though)

starbunii 2024 — all rights reserved. do not redistribute or translate to any other platforms -- thank you for reading !

[fishylikeakoi]

I think I fell in love with a vigilante - Jason Todd x Reader

First time trying in this format, let’s see if I’m still kicking lol.  

I (GN23) think I'm in love with one of the vigilantes in my city and this makes everything more complicated for the simple fact that he makes my job 10 times more difficult, being a nurse where I live is not an easy task. The vigilante (M23) in question isn’t someone accessible on a daily basis and is often seen as deadly by the criminals I end up looking after, I don't blame them, if I were one of them I would also die of fear just seeing the silhouette in the shadows. We met when he was almost unconscious and having a lot of difficulty getting from one ledge to another, landing disastrously on my balcony and casually covered in blood as if he had plunged into a river, I gathered all the strength in my body at the time and took courage to bring it inside my cramped apartment and, apparently, against the man's wishes.

After tending to his wounds properly and giving him some food, he disappeared through my balcony door and after that, we unconsciously created a routine by the way he returned daily and sometimes approached me on the street during my walk home, claiming that it was 'dangerous for me to walk alone through the city streets at such a late hour'.  - “The window is open, be careful with these shits.” He said, already entering through the window.

The hospital also benefited from this secret interaction, receiving large donations of equipment and money in the name of the security guard, now the criminals were “cataloged” by blood type and even some organs that were functioning for donations and I remember well having commented on this problem with him on one of our nights eating together. He is someone very kind despite his appearance and that is what caught my attention the most from the first day, from the way he makes sure my entire apartment is safe to putting his number as an emergency contact on my cell phone, fighting with me for not eating right and staying silent when I talk about his completely healthy habits like staying awake for more than 72 hours at a time.

He, with all the certainty in the world, must know who I am even though he didn't ask anything, after all he buys my forgiveness through things that interest me, homemade food and motorcycle rides until the wee hours of the morning even though he knows that I would forgive him easily, he insists on do this. I, on the other hand, don't question much about his life, even though the scars tell me it's painful and I probably won't like hearing the end of it. Every time I remember him my heart beats faster and my stomach stops working and my hands itch to touch his, to cover his helmet in kiss marks and then leave even more marks beneath it.

Honestly, I feel like a teenager confessing here, but my friend from work S (F19) insisted on writing and seeing what you think I should do, even though I knew the answers would be obvious at this point in the tournament. I don't know whether to update as I make some progress in our relationship (?) or pretend to have dementia if nothing works out, but one thing is certain; 

If he ever sees this, know that I won't try to deny it anymore, Red Hood.

[coatedhope]

When I was away on hiatus I had a job working in a care home. It was a care home for dementia patients and I felt like I really wanted a job that helped people so this is what I thought of.

I did the training and at first I really was happy, the old people were nice and there was lots of different characters. One man was always saying he is on the run from the police and he’s escaped jail, I just played along with it because I didn’t know what to do. There was a woman who cried when you asked if she was okay and I wanted to cry with her, but it was part of her illness so I tried to look past it, but she had a plush cat in her room and when I asked what it’s called she said pudums or tudums I can’t remember the exact word. There was also a woman who could not speak and she was bedridden and had to sit or lie all day. She didn’t speak but on the interests in her room she put singing, so when I had to feed her breakfast I was singing a traditional song to her that I thought she would know, and she joined in and she was mumbling it a bit but she knew more words of the song than I did. I really miss these people and I wish I could have stayed to help them more.

I left because as you can imagine seeing upsetting situations was also an occurring thing, but the thing that upset me the most is seeing the other workers laughing at the old people and in my opinion treating them so poorly. There was once a worker who was trying to stop an old woman who would always walk around shouting from getting up from her seat. She was standing in front of her and blocking her as the woman was shouting, and when the woman stood up she pushed her down to her seat and made her cry out in pain. There was other workers stood around too and they didn’t do anything.

I was contemplating telling this to the managers, but when I told my dad about it and told him I was going to report it he said there was no use because they struggle to find people to work in care homes, so they will accept even careless people, and he said care homes often have people being unfairly treated there..

It made me so sad, and I thought about it and honestly I would rather die than go to a care home when I’m older. There were really nice people there that did seem to care, but not everyone. It made me cry after I came back home almost every day so I thought it’s probably not a very good job for me to have, but believe me I feel guilty about leaving every now and then, because I think of the old people and think about how they can’t choose to leave like I did

[canmom]

brief comints on some comics

need to find energy to write some more Comics Comints but here are some very brief ones on some comics I read of late...

I read a bunch of Shintaro Kago stuff (The Princess of the Neverending Castle, Dementia 21). truly one of the best to ever do it, and I really need to do some kinda deep dive into what makes his stuff kick so much ass. but Kago's stuff has this absolutely ingenious playfulness to it - obvs it's got the 'fucked up body stuff' ero-guro aspect as a central pillar in which Shintaro Kago is uniquely inventive, but it's also constantly playing around with form in a way that like, you see the ideas getting developed from page to page from 'oh here's a fucked up thing' to the basis of an incredibly abstruse storyline that somehow feels fully coherent in its internal logic, even as the entire panel structure disintegrates into castle noodles.

he's also just both plain very funny and an absolute drawing monster. the two Neverending Castle books (Princess and Twelve Sisters - narratively disconnected but playing off the same ideas) are a special treat, gorgeous huge printings that really let you see all the crazy intricate little details, and the high concept is incredibly productive. Dementia 21 is bit more directly like... not so much commentary so much as using existing social tensions (in this case, caring for old people) as a jumping off point for darkly funny vignettes. also the interview at the back is great for Kago just completely no-selling most of the interviewer's attempts to pry.

started in on Oyasumi Punpun by Inio Asano. and guys. the expressions in this manga! honestly, the level of storytelling confidence is off the charts. I think I'm starting to get some idea of what it's doing and what the recurring interests are, but also damn, there is so much going on here. the manner of stylisation is really fascinating - it's like a great example of a sort of effect you can achieve if you understand realism forwards and backwards and then push it.

the eponymous punpun is heavily minimised in his own story - which is part of the premise, that he is so powerless and so completely failed by the adults who are too caught up in their own shit that he might as well be a cartoon bird. we have recurring invocations of the futility of human connection, it's doing a lot of stuff with religion-as-imaginary-friend and mixing sort of deliberately crude 2D graphical elements or really abstract compositions with the hyper detailed style. it's somehow like... moment to moment it looks super melodramatic but it's sort of processed through this dissociative haze which means the actual story ends up quite low-key.

I can see why people rate this one so highly, can't wait to get my hands on more.

I read some of the Sláine series - the Celtic barbarian character written by Pat Mills. in this case I had the Sláine the King arc, and some of the earlier comics, so I got a taste for the druid airships and stuff. Glenn Fabry's art is astonishing, it's as solid as an Otomo drawing but it doesn't feel sterile, it's got this incredibly expressive aspect, like it does so much to sell our sword-and-sorcery protagonist Sláine as a guy.

I'm someone who tends to read a lot more manga than Western comics in general, which is both a different approach to line and tone and also you tend to have the same artist drawing the whole series - in contrast, with 2000AD comic like this it's really striking seeing both how much value can be achieved with pure monotone, no greys, and also getting to see multiple artists tackle the same character in roughly the same idiom to highly varying results. there are approximately ten billion of these, but I haven't yet been able to track down the Horned God arc which is the one that was recced to me. hopefully soon.

comics are great

[system-of-a-feather]

The parent that turned my did into pdid is showing signs of dementia & is in denial. She failed her memory test at the doctors & it’s only getting worse. Its funny, I spent a lot of my childhood being ridiculed by her for symptoms of my DID & now she will likely have some of my formative experiences in her last days: not knowing where she is, confusing reality, etc etc. This is the kind of woman to laugh at panic attacks. my siblings are making themselves scarce before it gets worse.

It feels like poetic justice, but I see a train wreck waiting to happen. She’s POA for my other older relatives. My question to you is if you’d try to help this person if you were in my shoes. Part of me wants to do a family intervention. Part of me wants to watch her to crash & burn.

The irony is that if she had shown me that grace & empathy as a child, this wouldn’t even be a problem. But she set up this toxic dynamic in the family and so she feels the need to double down & pretend it’s not happening. And now it’s gonna bite her in the ass.

Would you stage an intervention now to head this off with senior planning or let the chips fall where they may?

Honestly? I don't really have a "I would do this" sort of response to this. Even putting aside how I don't really have the full picture, context, history, etc to navigate the nuance of the situation, I honestly just don't think this is really something where there is a clear answer and it's really one of those things that you have to kind of just come to the conclusion on what will sit right with you. Whatever path and direction you go, I honestly wouldn't blame you or judge you in anyways tbh.

Personally though, I generally default to neutral or slightly positive non-engagement. If there is a situation I'm torn on, have mixed feelings over, or find myself largely emotionally charge (especially if its simultaneously in opposing directions), I tend to default to respectfully doing the minimum necessary to keep issues from arising due to the lack of action (or sudden decrease in action) and typically continue whatever baseline I have been doing.

That tends to allow me to postpone any significant decision long enough for me to 1) sort out how I feel a little more clearly 2) see how things progress with me doing little to nothing different than what I'm currently doing and to see if that works for me and 3) removes a sense of time pressure and a sense of responsibility over others that is either not possible or not necessarily sustainable for me to take on

I understand the irony and schadenfreude of the situation, cause honestly, I do get how its kinda funny and there's a sense of karma at the whole situation. But in my experience, chasing that schadenfreude / sense of revenge often kind of kept me in a space of trauma and hurt and honestly kept me from exploring and experiencing opportunities in life that were better and/or possibly better spent elsewhere.

That isn't to say that you have to forgive, or that you have to care for her either. People tend to put revenge and forgiveness as a black and white binary, but honestly, you can not-forgive but also choose to not put yourself in a mental space centered on trauma and past hurt by also choosing to not seek revenge.

If you don't feel like she has earned / deserves care that she didn't give you, you aren't obliged to give it to her. It's not your responsibility and I wouldn't blame you if you took that approach. It's your right to go and live on your life apart from negative influences in your life and if she was and is currently a negative influence on your life, I don't think you are a bad person for just walking away from it.

But if that's the case, I'd also just check in with yourself and just make sure that - with the situation regarding the POA and all for other relatives - you are okay with the potential risks that might pose for any relatives you might like and make sure to weigh your care for those individuals against your lack of interest in helping address the situation.

If you do step in, make sure you know what and why you are choosing to step in and stage an intervention. Know what matters to you and what is at the core of your actions and just try to keep that in mind when you decide to step in as it can probably help in persisting when it might not feel like something you want to do.

At the end of the day, its one of those situations where you just kind of have to find where you draw the line and if you feel she deserves that act from you. Do what works best for you both now / in the present and with what you feel will genuinely make you feel the best in the long long run.

Either way, I've done and been on both sides of the coin with similar situations - particularly with my dad - and I honestly get both perspectives.

It's a non-answer, but I hope it helped you nonetheless.

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

my shameless hot takes! (please don’t hate me):

fiona was the best character on the show, and it was always intended to focus on her pov. that’s why the show took a dramatic nosedive in quality after she left.

lip wasn’t a horrible person for yelling at her a few times. he wasn’t always considerate or kind, but fi made mistakes and deserved to be called out. being a fiona stan doesn’t mean i ignore her flaws.

debbie was the worst character on the show season four onwards. she was annoying, selfish, and often unnecessarily cruel. she was also a subpar (if not straight up bad) mother. also we don’t talk enough about how she is literally a rapist???

fiona and jimmy-steve should have been endgame.

gallavich is cute and mickey is such a wonderful character but ian is the most annoyingest guy ever.

speaking of which, the gay jesus storyline was literally the worst thing to ever happen to shameless and literally makes me cringe every time i think about it.

mandy was a legitimately compelling and interesting character and deserved better. lip and mandy honestly should have been endgame.

on that note, tammy is the most annoying person on the planet oh my fucking god. lip should not have stayed with her, she was an annoying, controlling, stuck-up bitch. they should’ve had split custody of freddie and gone their separate ways.

fiona was the kids’ mom. and they never appreciated her for everything she did.

sheila was a hugely important and delightful part of the show and her loss was genuinely devastating. however, her relationship with jody was weird af.

carl’s growth and storyline was impeccable; one of the best in the show. however, it weirds me out to think of him as attractive because we watched him grow up!

liam deserved better! he was always treated as an afterthought in the later seasons, and the others never accepted or encouraged his attempts to connect with Black culture. also, fiona should’ve taken him with her when she left since she was his legal guardian.

kev and v were the best couple on the show! however, kev was in the right during the whole argument after the girls were born; v wasn’t the most attentive or caring mother at first.

none of the age difference / power dynamic couples were okay or hot or romantic or whatever. ian x ned and ian x kash was abuse and statutory rape. lip x that teacher in s3 was statutory rape. lip x helen was an abuse of power. debbie x tommy was weird on his part and also rape. the woman at the shrimp place sexually harassed carl. fiona x mike was an uncomfortable power dynamic. karen x frank wasn’t funny, it was predatory behavior that culminated in rape. none of this was funny or hot or okay.

lip was at his best in college, and should’ve gone back at a different school when he got sober. the bike shop was a weird turn.

fiona could have been a good businesswoman but failed because she tried to take risks without anyone else’s support. most of her business blunders were not her fault. and on that note, although she should’ve asked the kids first, it was her right to take a mortgage out on the house. it’s her house. she’s run it her entire life.

however. fiona baby why are you ok with capitalism stop it…

frank was abusive and neglectful. monica was emotionally manipulative and neglectful. grammy was abusive. it’s okay to feel bad for them as characters (i definitely felt bad for frank when he had dementia) but they are child abusers first and foremost.

frank probably would have been successful and happy if he’d never met monica.

seasons 1-3 was the golden era of shameless. as soon as it ventured into more of a comedy/weird ass political commentary show, it really veered away from what made it special: its gritty, honest, and vulnerable look into a family in poverty, bound together by love. that’s what made it so, so good.

[dead-loch]

end of life care….

today (yesterday now I’m posting) is the day my mind fully processed my grandpa’s death (we’re french so I called him papie) and I had myself a nice long sob. we had a visitation with his body one final time before cremation. I personally have not been able to find it in myself to be able to look at a loved one’s body after death— which began when I was young and saw my other grandfather in his casket with such heavy makeup on that he looked cartoonish and honestly traumatised the hell out of me, and which I still see to this day when I think of him, which is pretty distressing— but just being in the room with his body today is what broke it. I found this interesting only because I was also in a room with his body on the day he passed, so I’m not sure why it took this second time for me to fully, I guess, feel it

anyway, I’m sharing all of this to just kind of give context to how I’m feeling and where I’m at right now when I say how thankful we are that he received such amazing care at the home he’d been living in for the past 6 years. and I know it’s rare to hear this. papie had frontotemporal dementia, which affects your frontal lobe, and this lead to a complete lack of inhibition. if anyone has known someone with traumatic brain injuries, they may know what I mean when I say this. I’m not going to get into it further than that here but suffice to say that his behaviour made it so that he could not live without 24/7 monitoring, and it was unfortunately unsafe for others to live with him without like… specific training, which meant we had to find a home for him.

what this all boils down to is that we hadn’t intended to have either of my grandparents living in a long term care home, but we eventually had no other choice, and I’m really really thankful that we ended up with the place he spent his last years.

on the day he passed, papie had had a big breakfast (the nurses thought this was a good sign since they’d actually called us the night before to let us know he hadn’t been interested in eating much of his dinner and that was out of character), he had asked for coffee (which he hadn’t done in months), and then asked for his glasses so he could watch tv (which his interest had also recently been waning in, also out of character). so in all it was a really great morning. it was when he was preparing to shower a bit later in the morning that he suddenly went white in the face, and passed away very suddenly and very quickly. a nurse was with him, since they’d been getting ready to help him shower, and decided to go ahead with washing his body, giving him a shave and dressing him in clean clothing before lying him in bed… and then he called my mom.

if we’d ever had the slightest whiff of mistreatment in that home, some of those actions might have seemed suspicious but we never did, and if we had he wouldn’t have still been there, and papie was already outspoken for what he needed and wanted and who was pissing him off (residents often steal from one another, or forget who owns what, things like that, so lots of opportunities to get royally pissed lmao).

as it is I think (and we all felt) that what the nurse did was his final act of taking care of papie, making sure he, for lack of a better term, looked his best (the best possible, anyway) when we, his family, saw him for the last time.

[partangel]

Just falling into this blog out of nothing (tumblr recommended it for me) and saw your meat/nutrition thoughts. I was vegetarian for about a year and then vegan for two. I was like you, losing energy, and also fully aware of the fact that i dont know shit about nutrition and also didn't really have the interest of learning either. I was vegan of ethic reasons but also from the fact that I don't like to eat meat, its just a yucky feeling to chew on something that once was alive.

However, I ended up starting eating cheese. Then eggs. Then red meat because I figured I needed the iron.

Now I eat like "everyone else" again, just still less meat on average, but I feel so much better.

Just thoughts from someone that could see herself in your words ❤️

hey! thanks for sharing.

i think its important to prioritize your health above ideals especially when you cannot invest the time to get informed or dont really care for it (im just like you honestly)

i never tried to go vegan and i dont think i could manage to do so in the near future, but going back to meat is something that even though i understand the choice in others, i cannot really support in myself... but frankly this comes from someone whose self regard is reaaally subpar. i guess for now im just fine with having no energy all day and living on caffeine (childish, lets see what the future holds).

but im thinking of going to try and get some vitamin receipts 🤍! but honestly i fully support the detransition from vegan i think its really important to figure for yourself what works and what isnt for your own health, its not just about ideals its also about having a structure that helps you remain healthy following them.

i think the veg community doesnt have enough spreads of information about this because its a community that spends all their time defending themselves and trying to convince eat-meaters that its "easy" and "totally the same thing" and that does not affect you "that drastically" in terms of nutrition, which is a lie, but since its such a huge stereotype of vegetarianism and its so recurrent to be heard of i understand why so much effort goes into trying to debunk it. i just wish there was also an effort to promote nutritional education in bit-sized pieces and actual articles on nutrition to avoid certain risks. for example its true that people who do not eat fish have a bigger risk of developing dementia due to a certain compound mostly found in fish. its true that teeth fall easier. its just what it is. better than hiding those pieces of information, we ought to try to find ways to remedy them for people who wish to choose that diet.

but yeah honestly reducing on meat consumption is already a big thing by itself. if most people reduced, itd be far easier to control its effects. personally i just find the taste and the texture would gross me out after so many years without it!

[rosylamb]

OOTD?

Aw hi there ~ ! *·˚ 🤍

How are you? I hope you’re having a nice day, my friend! ♡

Thank you for the ask, and your interest in my outfits c:

It’s genuinely so sweet to see my little creative interests like fashion supported like this ♡

We’ll have to see though!

I’m studying, working, and doing a lot more these days, and my father needs lots of help.

For those not aware my father is in the final stages of Parkinson’s disease, and also has dementia; he isn’t able to walk, talk, feed or dress himself so I help him often. I’m also just spending more time with him in general.

(He started hospice a while ago — I don’t really know how much time we have left honestly. Even if sometimes he doesn’t recognize me though we watch movies, I read to him, and take my dogs to see him)

I do have some things I might put up, and even some cute older gems I found so don’t worry! Lots of neat stuff to share if I ever find the time or energy ♡

Sending lots of love, soft hugs, and happy thoughts your way! It was just wonderful to hear from you, and I pray you take care and stay safe out there ~ ! XO

🎀 ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ 🤍

[cookinguptales]

i can't wait to hear your thoughts on yellowjackets 🐝

I'm on episode 5 rn! I've been kind of sporadically livetweeting it lmao, but a fair amount of that is just thirsting after Melanie Lynskey.

some very early thoughts are:

melanie he's a fuckboi and I hope you fuck him and then kill him praying mantis style

yes, yes, I get it, you spent 19 months praying/preying and they think you're saying "praying" but you're actually saying -- yes, I get it

"oooh wahhh it's so scary when you kill rabbits and eat them" no it's fine it's hot

I'm pretty sure christina ricci's character was born to be in hannibal instead, but she's making the best of where she ended up

my god these terrifying women are so distractingly attractive, especially shauna and taissa, rip me

it's crazy how shauna manages to be heterosexual in a way that feels almost as queer as taissa's actual relationships with women. like it feels like every affair she has is just a way to feel something towards someone entirely different. (triangulation...?) like is she NOT obsessed with her friend and that's why she's fucking her boyfriend? because it really feels like she's obsessed with her friend and that's why she's fucking her boyfriend. and this new fuckboi, too, is he not just a way to deal with her angst over her terrible marriage?

I digress

I do feel like women never get roles this meaty and interesting and toxic and I'm so here for it honestly, I want to see them spiral

I do not care about a single man in this show, though, I'm sorry all men in this show

I do like how it's difficult to tell whether supernatural things are happening or not. like how much of this is just the cruelty of (wo)man vs. something uncanny that predates them (see: the mark that was there when they landed) vs. chemical & situational madness (yeah, I can guess what those pills are for) vs. something supernatural vs. Cult Stuff...

I'm just saying that how vague it is entices me

horned god horned god horned god I'm so interested in where this weird shit is going

speaking of weird shit what the actual fuck is going on with taissa's entire fucking family. again, it's hard to tease out how much of what they see is dementia vs. trauma vs. something genuinely supernatural.

I can't help but wonder what those guys from the plane that went down in chile (the one with the rugby team in the 70s) think about this show that is clearly semi-based on their real-life trauma. like it must be so fucking weird for them. I'm sure some are still alive. I can't even imagine.

anyway yeah don't spoil me bro but those are some of my (admittedly kind of drugged up) thoughts. I'm sick and on very strong medication. lmao

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Which DCLA character would you say is neurodivergent?

I've always been unsure if I could say a lot about it, as I am what I know, neurotypical. However, I have a lot of research and knowledge about the topic, as I've for quite a long time wondered if perhaps I am neurodivergent (it would explain a lot of things). I also know a lot of neurodivergent people irl and online, and I've related to a lot of things. However, with that in mind, I have had thought about several dcla characters possibly being neurodivergent.

First one is Jade. The way Jade always gets treated like she's dumb. Like she doesn't get it. Like she can't take care of herself at all and everyone else needs to tell her what to do. Just because her brain works differently than most, just because she takes longer to understand, just because she has a hard time reading social cues... she's not stupid! Her interests are also treated as stupid, "oh she doesn't know anything but fashion and makeup" I just??? Remember when Jade had her nail art business? SHE WAS THRIVING. Stupid Matias is like "you gotta find a good job" and Jade is treated as "lazy" for not having a job (as if he didn't even try to search for one during an entire season). But hey dude, have you heard that, perhaps not everyone can work a full-time job, cause it gets too overwhelming for them? Of course, this does not necessarily mean they're neurodivergent, but in Jade's case... she works a lot better with her part-time job as a nail artist and she's GOOD at it and she makes people HAPPY - not to mention when she starts working as an opera singer. The real stupid and lazy one here is Matias and he should get tf away from his sister. Idk if this was a good explanation to why I like the neurodivergent hc on her, as I just kind of went on a rant.

Ofc we have Ludmila too. Astronomy hyperfixation. Can and will infodump about stars and space every day all the time and that's so slay of her honestly <3

Can not go without mentioning Luna, obviously. I fully support the hc of her having ADHD. Not only with her hyperactivity and extreme fixation on roller skating, to the point where she somehow falls asleep with them despite having her room on the top floor, but also the way she out of nowhere switches subjects and is shown at times to have signs of hypersensitivity (I don't have concrete examples right now, but I thought about it when watching the show)

Both Andres and Jazmin are presented more neurodivergent-coded, and sadly it's another case of them being treated like they're dumb. I don't really like that the shows are doing stuff like this, tbh the dcla shows do have a problem with ableism. Not only with neurodivergence, but also with characters having dementia, schizophrenia, etc. Even if it's just coded or canon, they're played for laughs.

A Bia character I wondered might be nd is Zeta, Pietro's cousin. He's presented as being addicted to video games and being on his phone. But it may be more than that. The way he doesn't like to to talk to the others, the way he feels very uncomfortable when his devices are taken away and just how no one seems to truly get him. They try to get him to act like them instead of, perhaps, trying to see more of his perspective. Honestly, the way the show presented it, and the way he even got a psychologist, I thought they were actually gonna do some kind of nd storyline with "oh, he acts like this for a reason, he acts differently than everyone else cause of this". But then it was just an "oh he's addicted to video games and we need to stop his addiction" storyline instead?

There's also some characters that are more of "they don't necessarily have to be nd, but I did notice some signs".

Like how Nina is infodumping a lot of whatever she has read or heard. A lot of statistics, a lot of "it needs to be logical". Also I like the idea of her and Luna being nd besties.

Ámbar I remember once starting to explain how she has a system to make everything work in her life. She needs to roller skate, cause if she doesn't, she might not be as focused in school, which means she might not be able to get top scores. Everything in her life needs to have a structure and if it doesn't, she can't function. This is a little harder to pinpoint and doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I thought of it.

There's also Camila. With her it's legit just vibes, not any real explanation to why.

So there you have it. I don't know if I explained well, or if I perhaps can't say as much about it, but as I have thought about it I figured I could share my thoughts.

[maniacal-butterfly]

I guess I’ll answer the matcha question first. Sheogorath strikes me as more of a tea drinker than a coffee drinker (mad tea parties and all) but matcha is a particularly intense tea. It’s the whole leaf, rather than just an extract. I feel like Sheogorath would appreciate that matcha is a “particularly tea sort of tea.” It helps that matcha powder also looks a little bit like greenmote. Honestly, I have thoughts about Sheogorath’s fondness for tea in general.

Hi Anon, hope you are well? Sorry, answering was delayed way more than I intended. But now that I’m neither sick nor at work I should be able to focus on answering this properly; it probably won’t be as long an answer as last time though. I hope I haven’t missed or accidentally deleted one – I wish tumblr could give an option to select multiple asks to answer in one go as having to create a mosaic of messages isn’t exactly the most practical of tasks. Anyway.

Tea wise… You know those blooming teas that are served from glass teapots? That’d probably also be a staple of the Isles. Each side having its favoured flower (and potential effect; like one is invigorating while the other is calming etc). Plus it makes an excellent centrepiece to any tea party table. I guess those parties would have very different vibes depending on if you are in Mania or Dementia.

You’re probably right in saying that the other Daedric Princes have little knowledge of the mantling process (if only because they have little interest in it) though I’m guessing they all know mantling itself is a thing. I’ll fully admit my knowledge on the matter is more than limited – shouldn’t all who have read Vivec’s 30+ books know all about CHIM and that reality isn’t exactly stable? Do you have to actually dwell on it for it to cause an issue? I digress. Sheogorath had at least one test run (maybe) for the mantling, and that’s good old Haskill. Though I wonder what went wrong there. Maybe when that attempt was made, Haskill was already from the Isles and already too much part of them (as in, he had an assigned “role”) or he was too devoted to Sheo to actually become him. Given we were talking about Spirits etc interacting with each other. Peryite and Jyggy have a distinctively different idea of what order is, but given Peryite also has to organise the “lower planes” of oblivion, I imagine they’d have to talk before Jiggy just carves a new space for himself. Especially since his version of order is so much more rigid than whatever natural order could be. I wish we had the 13 missing stories of the “Sixteen Accords of Madness” to see more interactions between Sheo and the others. The tales from “Myths of Sheogorath” are thoroughly interesting, as he is… I hesitate to say “helpful” as I don’t see the woman turned into instruments or the servants eaten in a stew being particularly happy with the outcome… But the initial intent wasn’t negative. He’s a bit like a monkey paw; be careful about what you say/show him or the meaning of it might be interpreted wrongly. (I also tend to imagine that, like fae, if Daedras ask for your name, you better not give it to them. After all, they don’t give their true name either.) Somewhat feel the only game in the series that really shows how dangerous he can be is Legends (the card game one). He is the antagonist and loses (kickstarting the oblivion SI quest in the process) but there is a lesson learnt from it by Talym Rend (the acceptance of loss and grief for one). But it is also a Monkey Paw situation: [SPOILER of legends if you don’t want that skip] Talym asks for his memories of his involvement in his son’s death to be erased, and that’s exactly what happened: but he was led to believe his son was insane instead and that it was why he was seeking in the first place. So, sure, Sheo fucks him over… somewhat… but he also only does what was asked. [END OF SPOILER] Speaking of the tree. I hadn’t had a proper look at it before: Aside from mushrooms it is rather bare in game; but I’d imagine it to bloom and bear fruits (any and all at the same time but I wouldn’t advise eating them) depending on Sheo’s moods. It’s somehow even covered in snow sometimes. And the Gnarls echo the state of the tree, head heavy with flowers as they tend to it. The feral Gnarls will be more or less aggressive depending on sheo’s disposition. About Sheo being “Prince of Metamorphosis”… hopefully nobody will get offended… well, as far as I’m concerned, I headcanon that he’s the Prince people call for their transitioning to go well, and he has a soft spot for queer people. Okay I’ll stop there I think. This whole thread made me wish I could draw better coz some of your ideas would be fun to illustrate. Have a good day!!

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

1. Let's not forget that he actually funded drugs coming into the country aimed at minorities and is responsible for things like crack being 10x longer sentencing than coke bc Crack was used by black people and coke was used by yuppies.

2. My children there was a market crash in 1987 that created the Wall St kill switch bc it dropped so much so fast they built a program so it can only drop by so much then the whole system locks to prevent panic trading.

3. He made Nixon look like an environmentalist.

4. Ok, so you know how much we all bitched about the government ignoring Covid bc people were dying? OK, but like Covid has a 2% mortality rate and AIDS had 100%. And even Trump did start a program pretty immediately to just pour all the goddamn money into a vaccine (yeah, I'm not say it worked well, but fuck even the goddamn Nazi tried something and was willing to SAY THE FUCKING WORD!)

5. Honestly it was so bad before in terms of actual care I'm not sure it got worse, except it was harder to afford and you were penalized more for it.

6. RONALD REAGAN INTERVATIONAL AIRPORT IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE FUCKING NAME IN THE HISTORY OF LABOR RELATIONS. He was a fucking strike breaker, using the power of the government to force people to go to work (Biden did strike break the railroads for national interest BUT HIS ADMINISTRATION PARTNERED WITH THE UNIONS TO MEDIATE A NEW CONTRACT FOR RAIL WORKERS THAT THE UNIONS EVEN PRAISED.) Reagan forced people to work against their will while threatening Communism as the big bad, an irony Satan himself could have thought of.

Honestly the other details I'm not as up on but let's not forget high points like the Star Wars program a billions of dollars defense program THAT NEVER WORKED EVEN ONCE AND HE WOULD NOT LET DIE or Laffer Economics that said as if it was an economic law (which has to be proven by data and math) that if you raise taxes, people will cheat on their taxes so revenues will actually go down. Bro that ain't econ, that's Thomas Hobbes in philosophy across the hall. His own VP referred to it as voodoo economics bc it has just as much relation to a scientific finding as voodoo. At least 2 years of his presidency he was deep into dementia and his wife was making choice with her astrologer (instead of stepping down and giving the boring but competent and qualified VP the reins -- not a fan of HW but he was rational.)

Literally the only good Reagan ever managed was working with Tip O'Neill as Speaker in an effort to actually govern.

Also the Nixon tapes have calls from Reagan being blatantly fucking racist.

And he was a terrible actor.

And his wife tried to provoke an international incident with a nuclear power bc Gorbachev's wfe wore red to a function and red was "her" color -- lady it's a fucking primary color there's only 3 of them ffs!

Just... I can't overstate the bad decisions at every turn.

And Reagan was incredibly dangerous bc he was charming. He was appealing if you didn't know he was a fucking monster. Trump is boorish. W was a fucking moron. But Reagan could sell people on shit.

the funny thing is that i don't think younger people - and i mean those under the age of 40 - really have a grasp on how many of today's issues can be tied back to a disastrous reagan policy:

war on drugs: reagan's aggressive escalation of the war on drugs was a catastrophic policy, primarily targeting minority communities and fueling mass incarceration. the crusade against drugs was more about controlling the Black, Latino and Native communities than addressing the actual problems of drug abuse, leading to a legacy of broken families and systemic racism within the criminal justice system.

deregulation and economic policies: reaganomics was an absolute disaster for the working class. reagan's policies of aggressive tax cuts for the rich, deregulation, and slashing social programs were nothing less than class warfare, deepening income inequality and entrenching corporate greed. these types of policies were a clear message that reagan's america was only for the wealthy elite and a loud "fuck you" to working americans.

environmental policies: despite his reputation being whitewashed thanks to the recovery of the ozone layer, reagan's environmental record was an unmitigated disaster. his administration gutted critical environmental protections and institutions like the EPA, turning a blind eye to pollution and corporate exploitation of natural resources. this blatant disregard for the planet was a clear sign of prioritizing short-term corporate profits over the future of the environment.

AIDS crisis: reagan's gross neglect of the aids crisis was nothing short of criminal and this doesn't even begin to touch on his wife's involvement. his administration's indifference to the plight of the lgbtq+ community during this devastating epidemic revealed a deep-seated bigotry and a complete failure of moral leadership.

mental health: reagan's dismantling of mental health institutions under the guise of 'reform' led directly to a surge in homelessness and a lack of support for those with mental health issues. his policies were cruel and inhumane and showed a personality-defining callous disregard for the most vulnerable in society.

labor and unions: reagan's attack on labor unions, exemplified by his handling of the patco strike, was a blatant assault on workers' rights. his actions emboldened corporations to suppress union activities, leading to a significant erosion of workers' power and rights in the workplace. he was colloquially known as "Ronnie the Union Buster Reagan"

foreign policy and military interventions: reagan's foreign policy, particularly in latin america, was imperialist and ruthless. his administration's support for dictatorships and right-wing death squads under the guise of fighting "communism" showed a complete disregard for human rights and self-determination of other nations.

public health: yes, reagan's agricultural policies actually facilitated the rise of high fructose corn syrup, once again prioritizing corporate profits over public health. this shift in the food industry has had lasting negative impacts on health, contributing to the obesity epidemic and other health issues.

privatization: reagan's push for privatization was a systematic dismantling of public services, transferring wealth and power to private corporations and further eroding the public's access to essential services.

education policies: his approach to education was more of an attack on public education than anything else, gutting funding and promoting policies that undermined equal access to quality education. this was, again, part of a broader agenda to maintain a status quo where the privileged remain in power.

this is just what i could come up with in a relatively short time and i did not even live under this man's presidency. the level at which ronald reagan has broken the united states truly can't be overstated.

[prozach27]

Personal rants; delete later

A common belief I was told growing up is that we choose this life before we live it. We write out our story, collaborate with others on theirs, and weave a novel worth reading. As unlikely as this may be, it’s one I hold dear because it reminds me to recognize that when something bad has happened, it may have been worth it for the good it will bring later in the story. So often something will feel like the end of the world and when you look back, you can see how that pain was necessary for experiences you couldn’t live without.

I had to leave my PhD program for two years, and I always saw this as a crystal clear case of me choosing the wrong program. There was one that I was SO interested in accepting an offer from, and I had devoted my whole LIFE to my career, so it was a devastating blow to attend this PhD and watch my progress fall apart due to faulty advising and a toxic environment.

However.

Because the environment was so COMICALLY bad, it led me to leave the program for two years. There was just about no circumstances that could do that to me, but this program did. In those two years, I got mental health help, I became a therapist, I got promoted to a mental health crisis responder, and I gained valuable life experience and stress management techniques. I was able to work with planned parenthood to pass city ordinances that would limit the disruption of far-right extremists on planned parenthood operations. I helped propel my city into taking a stand against the convicted SA offender in our queer nonprofit that was poised to take advantage of children. Most importantly, I was able to be the hospice provider my grandma needed during her last six months. My mom couldn’t have done that job alone. There is no doubt in my mind about that. But because I left the program, I was able to be in Spokane to be there for her.

I’ve spent years looking at that two-year period and thinking it was a failing on my part. I messed up and couldn’t cope with the stress of this toxic program and it ruined my life. Things were dark. But from that broken rock bottom, I was able to be there for moments in my life that I would give up my career for. I was the one who realized my grandma had dementia. I was the one who got to spend every day for six months with her, holding her hand and making her feel relaxed and taking care of her, and none of that would have happened if I wasn’t there. That was worth giving up my career in academia. I’m resilient. I’ll find something else. I can’t believe that never hit me until now.

I’m going to be fine. I’m happy. Having invested that much of my identity in my career was already incredibly toxic. This not only broke that cycle, it let me be there for the person I love and make their last moments perfect. I was able to protect my community from extremists and offenders. Looking back… if I knew then what I know now, and could see the path I took compared to the path of academic success and achievement… I would choose this path. I would choose it every time. Fully processing the decision, there’s zero doubt in my mind. I made the necessary choice.

And honestly? No matter what comes next, I’ll be fine.

[cattatonically]

Dead Serious Case #2: Mrs. Delores Abernathy - Vawn Cassidy (Crawshanks Guide to the Recently Departed, book 2)

Synopsis

In the business of unfinished business…

It’s been over six months since a freak accident left pathologist Tristan Everett able to see ghosts, something he has yet to confess to his boyfriend. Instead, he now has a new calling, one he’s not entirely happy about… help the dead resolve their unfinished business so they can pass into the light, sounds simple right?

Wrong…

When the spirit of a sweet old lady suffering from Alzheimers follows him home he has no idea how to help her. When he finds out she’s been murdered by arsenic poisoning, a curiously outdated murder weapon, he once again finds himself tangled up in a murder investigation.

For Inspector Danny Hayes of New Scotland Yard, life couldn’t be better. After moving to London and meeting Tristan he’s ready to move their relationship to the next level, but something weird is going on with Tristan, he’s acting very strangely and with a killer on the loose he’s not taking any chances. He’s determined to discover whatever it is Tristan’s hiding from him.

Surrounded by a bunch of potentially murderous old ladies and aided by his sidekick, deceased drag queen and spirit guide in training, Dusty, Tristan must unravel the mystery of Mrs Delores Abernathy’s unfinished business and find the courage to share his deepest secret with the man he loves.

From author Wendy Saunders writing as Vawn Cassidy, comes the second book in this funny and touching paranormal MM romance/dark comedy suspense series.

My Thoughts

Tristan’s had six months to get accustomed to life as a medium – sort of. And he’s also had six months of getting to know the new people in his life, Dusty, Chan (Dusty’s life-long best friend), and Danny. But it’s also six months he hasn’t been able to tell Danny about his ability, and that will have to change sooner rather than later. But first, he has to help Mrs. Delores Abernathy with her unfinished business.

I never expected a murder mystery to involve a long-term care home for patients with varying dementia diagnoses, a community centre filled with retired ladies, and more cryptic ghosts than ever, but here we are. This murder mystery is absolutely nothing like I expected, but that’s what made it so much fun. It was a wild experience from beginning to end, and I honestly don’t know what to make of most of it.

There is something deeper at play here – there’s a long game being threaded along plot-wise, and I’m extremely intrigued. I’m also mildly terrified. There are precious few things that give me more anxiety than the unknown, and that’s definitely what’s going on behind the scenes – the complete unknown.

But Tristan’s not flying blind alone. Tristan’s built himself quite a community of ghosts who are helping him along his journey. And while some ghosts are a fair bit more cryptic than others – Evangeline comes to mind here – others truly do just want to help make things as peaceful as possible. And these ghosts will likely need to step up in a big way, if the ominous warnings Tristan’s received are anything to go by.

The second book of this series was far more plot-advancing than character-building, and I’m okay with that. I’m already desperately emotionally attached to these characters, and I have a feeling moving forward, we’re going to have a solid mix of both. Especially with Tristan and Danny becoming far more serious in their relationship. It’s going to continue to be an interesting adventure, and I’m here for it.