#delusion addict

[bethpencilart]

Do you think Stephanie is as aware of Orel’s atrocities as we, the audience, are?

Putty: Gee kid, I'm sorry to hear you went through all that.

Stephanie: eh, at least I'm stable. I could've actually been homeless and got addicted to crack or something.

Orel: I was addicted to crack once.

Stephanie: WHAT?!

Putty: This isn't surprising, to be honest.

[thespacebetweenworlds]

mood: rereading my old fanfic just to feel something

[elysiuminfra]

maybe i am strange and unusual for this but lately after uncovering truly terrible memories about what i went through as a child my go-to coping mechanism has been, "well, i can fictionalize this somehow. i can make up a little story about something like this." anything that i struggle to talk about to other people i make up a guy who went through something similar and cope by proxy. and it does work sometimes? by making a character to put into a plot or situation that went through something i went through, i can work to untangle feelings i otherwise have a hard time addressing. due to countless layers of repression. my brain knee-jerk tries to run away from Bad Feelings, shove them down until i forget they're even there, but by playing with stories and concepts that revolve around it i can kind of work through those feelings. and by making a sympathetic character that struggles and triumphs and is loved by others, i can learn to accept and love myself through that. but this has been a life-long coping mechanism - for as long as i can remember i've been a chronic maladaptive daydreamer. making up stories to comfort myself.

[thedandelionresistance]

Repeat after me: something being unhealthy or otherwise causing the person doing it distress does not make it morally wrong.

(This is part of healthism.)

[ikamigami]

Was not expecting Moon and Monty to immediately get smashed-off-their-ass drunk together and Puppet is the sober one but oh well, Moon's gonna have a fun time with that hangover

Yeah, he'll have a fun time with that.. I hope though that he won't be too angry.. cause idk how Sun will take it :/ (that's why it's important to drink responsibly so you won't make others around you worry too much or be uncomfortable around you)

Though I'm not surprised that Moon got drunk so quickly lol he kinda seems like someone who gets drunk easily

But for Monty.. I didn't expect them to get drunk so quickly.. but I knew that they got drunk sometimes with Foxy..

And I think that it was kind of expected that Puppet wouldn't get drunk lol

Also.. I'd like to address something here if you don't mind it, dear anon..

Cause let me be clear.. this was a funny episode where friends are hanging out together, drinking alcohol and getting drunk.. and it was obviously made to be fun episode..

While on the other hand Sun's drinking was never presented in a funny way.. in most instances when Sun's drinking habits were brought up someone was worried - New Moon, Puppet, Foxy - so it was setting a completely different tone compared to whenever Monty and Foxy or now Monty and Moon got drunk..

And let me tell you something.. people were upset about me saying that Sun might have an alcohol problem.. mostly because of their personal experiences with alcoholism.. and while that's valid.. at the same time people don't have to get drunk - because this was most common argument against Sun having drinking problem because he wasn't drunk - to become addicted to alcohol because that's not how addiction works :)

If you drink daily to relax - ease anxiety or whatever - and you also lie about your drinking habits - how many drinks you have per day etc. - and you act reckless - you're breaking law or you're making bad decisions - it's a huge red flag and it means that even if you're not getting drunk from drinking alcohol, it's still affecting you - your decision making - which is one of the easiest ways to become an alcoholic..

And this is exactly what was with Sun.. and now he stopped drinking - from drinking every single day to not drinking at all - and he's in worse mental state.. like again it's understandable considering what happened with New Moon and that NM tried to kill Earth and Puppet tried to force Sun to agree on killing NM.. but at the same time they brought up a few times already that Sun is thinking about finding himself new drinks - and what's worth noting is that drinking alcohol worsen symptoms of psychotic disorders (and other mental disorders as well) but the same goes for when someone experience withdrawal..

And again we can clearly see that Sun is in worse mental state than he was before - even before his first (major) psychotic episode - he's more depressed, he's paranoid (recent example - his uneasiness around cutouts in Moon's lab and in case you didn't know it is caused by paranoia), he's most probably experiencing hallucinations and he's having suicidal thoughts and most probably he's having delusional thoughts - also Sun's hands are shaking a lot but because he has anxiety it can't be used as hard proof that Sun is experiencing a physical symptoms of withdrawal, same is with him being more tired and him lacking motivation or that he doesn't enjoy doing the usual activity or he's performance is worse than usual cause it's most definitely caused by his depression.. but than again all of these symptoms could get worse because of alcohol withdrawal..

I wouldn't be surprised if Sun started drinking in secret (secret drinking is a thing btw) just to cope with his symptoms but mostly with hallucinations, delusions and suicidal thoughts.. but it may not happen.. but if it did happen it'd make his mental state even worse..

Also I'm treating this very seriously.. just because I'm not including people's experiences regarding this topic it doesn't mean that I'm treating it as a joke.. because I'm not.. I'm talking about Sun and I compare his experiences with experiences of those people who match.. comparing Sun's experiences to everyone else's would be pointless and just straight up stupid..

Sorry if this come across as rude but I was accused of not treating mental disorders seriously and with respect just because people don't like that I relate to Sun - when surprise surprise they do exactly the same thing with their favourites - so you can imagine how much frustrating it is to me (especially if you know about my mental issues and what I went through in this fandom)

But again I'm sorry for ranting under your ask, dear anon cause most definitely it wasn't something you were expecting to see in the answer..

[mishalnasir]

How many days before I feel sane again? How many days before my dopamine starts to kick in just in the right amount? Where I am not psychotic, neither I'm depressed -but I am just me.

[imsodunwiththis]

It’s all “mental health matters” but it’s never “mental illness matters”

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ intrusive thoughts, suicide, self harm, violence, psych wards mention

It’s “mental health matters”

Until it comes to the male loneliness epidemic

Until it comes to schizo-spec disorders

Until it comes to personality disorders

Until it comes to visual (sight), auditory (sound), tactile (touch), gustatory (taste), or olfactory (smell) hallucinations

Until it comes to bad hygiene (not changing your socks, underwear, brushing your teeth, not showering, etc.)

Until it comes to having panic/anxiety attacks

Until it comes to “inappropriate” tics (swearing, hitting, etc.)

Until it comes to stimming (rocking back and forth, making animal noises, etc.)

Until it comes to delusions

Until it comes to paranoia

Until it comes to physical symptoms caused from mental illnesses

Until it comes to not being able to get out of bed for days

Until it comes to intrusive thoughts (murder, rape, sexual assault, hurting friends and loved ones, etc.)

Until it comes to suicide

Until it comes to self harm (cutting, burning, over exercise, not eating, eating too much, isolating, etc.)

Until it comes to psych wards

If you struggle from any mental health issues ir illnesses or addiction I’m doing a project and if you want to help raise awareness about mental illnesses and the affects of it message me and we can talk THIS IS OPEN TO ANYONE

I only have the semester (sometime in January) to do this project

[harleyification]

Guys when I say that Im cooking, I mean that Im cooking meth

[michaelcupo]

Loneliness of Ego

When the mind settles, the need to reach for something lessens. In the process the loneliness of ego disappears and it’s simply because an “I” story of ego isn’t being created… The loneliness of ego seems to get wider as one ages, but it doesn’t really, what happens is there are just less distractions so “I” takes more of a hold. The natural process of life seems to be to stay busy trying to…

[sick-ideals-and-dirtied-veins]

I've opened my eyes once again, and in doing so, I find myself thinking my sickness has returned without notice, and I've become ill again without reason.

In the end, I know, it was only the pills numbing it all; a blanket of fog, covering my heart like a shield against the piercing cold that runs through my veins.

I was never better, coping, or healed. It was all an illusion.

[ilys00ga]

I have a confession to make.

[boyczar]

made a little guy of my little guy

[seeinginthedark]

More things coming to me now , in this psychosis of mine :

I want to go back to the astral realm like fuckn ASAP. But the only way I can get there is through sleep paralysis. So I’ve stopped using because I remember the other times I’ve had sleep paralysis was when I going through withdrawals from the substance I used to have a lot of.

I need to go to the astral realm to confirm what is going up there . Yesterday someone told me that the matrix extends “ up /into” the astral realm, not just here.

How could this happen. It fits into my theory that A.I technology/the Artificial Consciousness has infiltrated our afterlife processes , putting us in these never- ending reincarnation loops. I can’t confirm this until I go to the astral realm and see it for myself .

So I’m grumpy and tired as fuck because I’m not using . I know I can’t just Willy nilly enter that realm on a whim, I need to go through the initiation first. The spirits and beings up there put you through some rough times to see how you handle it. A personal sacrifice has to be made, or surviving a trauma also can be an initiation.

Well once again , my lover, my husband, my other half has been put on the chopping block. I told these entities to leave him alone . He’s been through enough. We’ve been interfered with , again. He’s been removed from my life . That was the sacrifice. It’s sad . I miss him . We can’t see each other or he will get arrested. We had 18 beautiful, drug free months together. No fights, no arguments, no infiltration, no violence . Then a sudden personality swap , things whispered in his ears , paranoid thoughts and him lashing out at me. I didn’t even call the cops this time. It was my pesky useless mental health nurse that did. The entities know how much I love this man. They know what it means to me to lose him. That’s why they fuck with his mind, to get to me. To cause me trauma. Force me to survive it. Initiate me . Invite me into their world. Increase my abilities. Continue this on -going mission that I keep trying to complete, life time after life time. My soul is getting so tired of this. And I miss my Inner Earth home and my Inner Earth family and my Inner Earth friends there. It’s been very isolated for me here, on the surface of Mother Earth. It’s so fucked up how people treat each other here. So I have to push on with the mission.

It’s ok. I’m an alchemist so I know how to transmute my pain into something useful and positive. Pain has become my power. It is the gateway. But I hate seeing my husband suffer for it each time . Now he’s addicted again, missing us, not able to see us . Stuck in an addiction loop.

You know that addicts are truly beautiful souls deep down. They are important for this battle we are in. This battle for humanity and for our souls. They get stuck in addiction as it’s part of their plan, the bad entities. Who feed off the addiction and pain that goes along with it. I see addicts as heroes who forgot they were hero’s . Lost track of the mission.

I’m seriously sick of being messed with . I’m done with being trapped in this matrix simulation . I’m coming for the ones that created it and the ones that monitor us . I’m going to destroy them. I’ve known since I was a child we were being watched. I’m not paranoid about it, just aware. We won’t be enslaved anymore . Or tricked and deceived and used like batteries. Putting families through hell. Exploiting us.

Enough is enough .

[zenosanalytic]

This is Supremely Grim

Plz watch it u_u u_u

[jbfly46]

Our military, especially high ranking members, most of whom suffer from paranoid delusions, are suffering from these delusions because their brains are overwhelmed with adrenaline, similar to a meth addict, and with similar symptoms to meth addiction and psychosis, such as seeing shadow people that appear real. The sleep deprivation during military training contributes significantly to this, and it lasts as long as they are in the military, and gets worse the longer they are in the military, as not ever being able to catch up on sleep means their brains are never able to heal.

[traumafactory28]

The slow, eye widening realization that you are about to relapse. The tears threaten to flow down your face, begging you to close your eyes so as not to traumatize yourself with the sight of your own making. Your hand reaches for your addiction as you no longer have control of yourself. You beg your brain to stop and how it will hurt so many people around. But it won't listen. That organ buzzes with toxic electricity that no amount of shock therapy can fix, begging for some kind of refuge from its own pain. It won't stop screaming, and you need it to shut up. You know how to stop it temporarily, but never for long. You tear away from yourself in hopes of making that hole in your chest a great plain rather than a gorged valley of blood. You're willing to do anything but distraught with your options. You feel cornered and trapped as you start. Just one would be fine. An escape from this drowning hole. That's all I need. Please let it be all I need. But now you're dissociating and can feel the pain. You aren't supposed to feel pain, so you lean in deeper into yourself until you forget how many you did and find yourself on the bathroom floor. Eyes stained with the memory of what you have done as you stare shell-shocked of your own making. You can't think. You finally feel your mind go blank from screams. Your mind is silent and frozen in terror, but it's just that. Silent. You hate the feeling of being afraid, but you were willing to do anything to make it stop. I smile as I watch myself slowly paint the floor. Roses with each drop and its roots embedded in me. A garden of which I pruned of its flowers, for this soil has no more nutrients to sustain the life it desperately wanted. I laugh as my garden grows all over my floor, edging on mania as I weep in relief of the delusion and distance I have given myself from my former reality. I fall into my garden and finally close my eyes. A happy ending no one would see coming. Happy endings belong only to the suicidal because in the end, we are all going to die. How dare anyone take this away from me.