#delivery people

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

[mistercrowbar]

I highly recommend playing Death Stranding if you got a system to play it on

it’s set in this post apocalyptic world where everyone turns into a nuclear explosion ghost after death and the rain makes you and everything else old and for 30-40 years no one’s been able to do anything to combat it except bunker down underground and incinerate the dead. People are isolated because, wouldn’t you be if your neighbour dying meant your city turned into a crater?

but in spite of this all there’s hope that we can connect people again. The NPCs are relentlessly optimistic that we can manage the explosion ghosts if we work together. So much of it is just, building up small contributions and having them pile up and before you know it, you got something big going on. You’re the big damn hero (a guy with insane core strength who doesn’t die) tackling the (literally) heavy stuff but the NPCs are all eager to contribute whatever they can. Here’s some custom boots. A protoype engine. A non-lethal ranged weapon. A place to stay. A bridge to cross a river. A parcel of materials to build with. A generator just as your truck battery is dying. A good luck charm. A remote operated surgical table. A sign that says Keep On Keeping On.

I think it’s important to remember that the small stuff matters. It helped me a lot during the pandemic. The world is heavy and not everyone can lift 100kg, but we can all do something even if it’s just some words to remind people we’re in it together.

Also, Trump canonically died in a ghost explosion and was utterly annihilated down to the atoms.

[xtrablak674]

Morning Photoshoot #sortof

I was just feeling cute having put on a pair of my Banana Republic Outlet skinny jeans, and one of my camouflage print decorated tees that I probably bought at the now defunct Pieces Boutique right here in the Republic of Brooklyn. I was listening to a podcast talking about this new drug that helps with weight-loss and the doctor being interviewed that most people who loose weight gain it back after a year, which said to me that I need to maintain my weight past 2024 to really maintain my current size. She said something about how the body wants to snap back to the previous weight. I was just like, okay its on!

Having thrown on these jeans and the tee to greet the delivery driver from Gorillas, who I noted was a young woman probably of Middle Eastern descent or Latina, I made a silent prayer that she would last longer than the other young women and queer folks that I had seen working for the convenience app. The app is more of convenience to me its my go-to for grocery delivery since I no longer leave my apartment. But I realized that I think the recidivism is high for these positions, there is only one driver I still recognize from when I started using the services after Fridge No More went out of business, and I think I can intuit correctly that for whatever the length of employment for the male drivers the time for women and queers is significantly shorter.

There was Miss Fancy Nails, a clearly trans driver who had these nearly two inch long nails, I always try to encourage the queer and women drivers as much as I can in our very short interactions. I want them to know that I see them, and that this is temporary that great things await them. I am not sure if this message is ever received but I try my best to acknowledge their humanity, apologizing in poor weather and making sure I tip more if I have more items than usual.

For someone who didn't really want to be a parent, I feel very responsible about all young people, its why its hard for me not to be in contact with all of my nieces, niblings and nephews, I think I have had enough time on this plane to offer insight to them that their parents can't especially to to those that are neuroatypical or queer. I am the outsider family member who over-stands what it is like to be the fundamentally different one. Until then I offer what ever encouragement I can to these young strangers, hoping it makes their young lives a bit better if not their day a bit brighter.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

[asleep-kat]

Mentor & his successor

[justplaggin]

piled-up evidence (3/∞)

latest occurence

enquiry

*drumroll*

*keyboard smash*

[bonchobrick]

DCxDP Fic where the Batfam gets an item/ability which allows them for just that day, to temporarily be able to what someone best accomplishment(s) were in their lives. Little do they know Danny has just settled into their city (and that they were about to get the shock of their lives)

---

At first the Batfam decides to have fun with it--theres not much titles can do to help them with cases unless theyre particularly lucky. So they take a walk together in disguises to observe the passerbyers, curious of what civillains of gotham have done in their lives.

One gruff guy who grumbles shoving Bruce's shoulder as he walks by has the title 'KITTY SAVIOR' adorned above him and the batfam are greeted by the knowledge he had saved a cat from getting hit by a car

A kid in his pteens whose been shoving pamphlets into peoples hands has 'ADVERTISEMENT SUPERSTAR' above his head as he apparently managed to save his family's resturant with his intense marketing prowess (remind Bruce to try hiring him in the future.)

And lastly they faux browse a store trying to scope out someone else interesting and are greeted by the title... 'OPENER OF PICKLE JAR' and they decide to head home as Jason nearly crying trying to muffle his laughter.

At the manor they all cant help but agree, walking has made them hungry, and theres no harm ordering a pizza or two. It's been a long, mildly interesting day, though they weren't expecting much from thing ability.

Imagine their surprise when they open the door to see a black haired blue eyed child, pizza boxes in one hand, the other hand out awaiting a drop of money–completely missing the fact the title 'DEFEATED THE MAD KING WHO HAS TORMENTED THE AFTERLIFE FOR EONS' was placed innocently above his head

"Your total is 23.11!" The fucking 'Ghost King' kid (APPARENTLY) cheerily states????

"Uh," Bruce says blankly staring at this kid's title as his mouth blurts out, "Could you give us a second?"

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[crimeronan]

if you are nice to people they will typically be nice to you. if you are mean to people they will not like you very much and also will sometimes be mean to you. this will make you sad and mad. if people are nice to you then you will feel happy and glad. when you are nice to people you will find fewer reasons to be very sad and very mad. follow for more wise life tips.

[katelfiredemon]

List of some movies that I enjoy and the books they’re based on which often have different vibes than the movie but both are equally good in different ways

Howl’s Moving Castle: The book is titled the same but has very different vibes (movie is more whimsical fantasy while book feels more like realistic fantasy if that makes sense) and also has two companion books in which Howl and Sophie make appearances! Book by Dianna Wynne Jones

Kiki’s Delivery Service: The book is titled the same but again very different vibes (Movie Kiki deals with depression and losing your passion and Book Kiki is cute little witch dealing with people’s problems in cute little witch ways) Book by Eiko Kadono

Stardust: Book titled the same but different vibes (movie is intense and life threatening adventures, book is more fun travel adventures and much slower paced) Book by Neil Gaiman

The Secret of Moonacre: The book is titled The Little White Horse (similar to Stardust the book is a lot slower paced and less life threatening adventures but just as fun and interesting as well as a lot of characters have more depth to them than in the movie) Book by Elizabeth Goudge

The Last Unicorn: Book has same name (from what I remember the book is almost word for word exactly like the movie) Book by Peter S Beagle

Ella Enchanted: Book has the same name (ok this one is a little more controversial. In my opinion the book has a lot more depth and is a lot more interesting in the world building and characters, and the movie is a horrible adaptation. But if you look at the movie as a completely separate thing it is still enjoyable and has fun songs and is a classic from my childhood) Book by Gail Carson Levine

Mary and the Witch’s Flower: The book is titled The Little Broomstick (I have yet to read it but I have just checked it out so I will make sure to update this once I’ve read it! I expect the book will probably have better world building as the movie was fun but didn’t have time to go into depth and the mechanics of the witch’s world) Book by Mary Stewart

Earwig and the Witch: Book titled the same (I also have yet to read this book but have just checked it out and will update later. I think it’ll probably be similar to what I expect with the Little Broomstick where it will probably show a more developed world) Book by Dianna Wynne Jones

Ronja the Robber’s Daughter: Technically not a movie but a tv series. Book has the same name (I also haven’t read it but have just checked it out and will update but I think the show was very well done story wise though the animation wasn’t my favorite and I expect that it probably followed the book fairly closely) Book by Astrid Lindgren

Avalon High: Book has same name and similar plot but characters are switched around (this is actually one where I like the movie a lot better. I feel like the book is extremely predictable and does exactly what you expect to happen while the movie switches it up in a fun way that I feel like also makes sense and isn’t just doing it for the shock factor) Book by Meg Cabot

Tales From Earthsea: One book from the Earthsea Cycle has the same name (I’ve only read the first two books and so technically haven’t gotten to the book that the movie has been adapted from but it’s on my list and I will update once I eventually get to it. So essentially I’ve read the prequels that lead up to the events in the movie and I’ve heard the movie is vaguely different but has similar themes and plot points to the book) Books by Ursula K Le Guin

That’s all I can think of for now but if you have any suggestions to add let me know and I’ll see if I’ve watched the movie and read the books and if so I’ll make an addition to this post!

[unpretty]

Sorry for being an egg-no-ra-moose, but what's the deal with cookies and the Matt/Lowtax post??

before he got outed lowtax ran multiple impromptu fundraisers claiming he was losing too much money running an internet forum that costs $10 to join and $5 to change your avatar and $10 to change someone else's avatar, because of the many medical bills incurred by his fucked-up spine (did getting punched by uwe boll destroy his spine? unclear)

it would later come out that he was actually spending all the donations and patreon money renting a mansion and leasing a GTR and buying $80 boxes of cookies. also he staged the pictures of himself in the hospital i guess.

the goldbelly cookies were the least of his crimes but there's something emblematically pathetic about spending that much money on fucking cookies of all things while pretending to be on the brink of homelessness due to medical debt

[lukazade]

A delivery person comes to Tim's house one day with an age restricted object (like alcohol or something). On this day, Damian also happens to be visiting.

--

(Tim opens the door)

Delivery Person: Oh, hey kiddo, is one of your parents in?

Tim: Haha, no (he reaches for the package) do I need to sign for it?

Delivery Person: Oh- woah! (they hold the package away from him) Sorry, no can do, this needs to be collected by an adult. Are your parents in, or should I come back tomorrow?

(A cold gust of wind blows as Tim tries not to be mad about the all-too-common situation)

Tim, sighing: Right. I get it. Hold on.

(Tim goes to the kitchen to get his ID from his bag, but in his irritation, seems to be having trouble finding it in there)

Delivery person (out of sight): Oh! Hey, sorry for the trouble. And you're that kid's... parent?

Damian: Tim? No, I'm his brother.

Tim: 🤨???????

Delivery Person: Oh, cool, that's fine too, could you sign for this?

Damian: Sure?

Delivery Person: Awesome, thank you. Hope you and your little brother have a nice day!

(The delivery person leaves)

Tim (stepping back into the entryway, only to see Damian holding his package, looking extremely confused): ... did you just accept my package?

Damian: Uh? Yes?

Tim: And he didn't ID you..

Damian: I'm not sure what just happened - I was just coming to see why you were taking so long at the door.

Tim, (snatching it out of his hands, his pride wounded): You don't even live here, don't sign for my packages.

Damian (who is just here to innocently hang out with his big brother): ???? 😶??

Tim, grumbling under his breath as he takes the package into the lounge: And who's he calling your younger brother? I'm 24. I'm literally 24. You're barely 20! I don't look that young, screw that guy. I can't believe this. The nerve..

[backjustforberena]

What poor an instrument May do a noble deed! he brings me liberty. Eve Best as CLEOPATRA in ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ (2014)

[presidentkamala]

was talking abt this with @kowai-kabuki-tanuki the other day but like WHERE are the action items??? Trying to volunteer - like actually volunteer constructively (be it reading to kids or hopping on calls with government officials or showing up to a school board meeting as part of a group or even picking up some litter at the park) is like trying to find a needle in the haystack of endless fundraising and "awareness" campaigns.

I know I'm not the first to notice this but like wow every website i go to the "get involved" tab or page is just different ways to donate or to sign up for email lists that purportedly will tell me about events "in my area" - and those events are almost always fundraising events or like 2 hr rallies or what have you.

Like you don't understand I'm trying to find people who will make school lunches with me to give to kids who have lunch debt. I'm trying to find the thing where we all get to chat together about the best strategies we can deploy to ensure the county doesn't make evictions easier etc.

I'm tired of the campaigning!!!!! Like let's DO something I don't want to uselessly mill around in front of the supreme court feeling angry!! And when i go to the local abortion org and sign up for escort training i uhhh ACTUALLY WANT THEM TO SCHEDULE IT!!!!!!!

Look fundraising is important and awareness is important and they are both necessary arms of any real nonprofit org and I'm not getting down on them - but I also NEED to be able to join an action-based volunteer group that won't require me to give up my job for a year and is also not like. affiliated with a church or smthn.