#bruce: do you take tips in adoption papers--its easier than writing a check

[bonchobrick]

DCxDP Fic where the Batfam gets an item/ability which allows them for just that day, to temporarily be able to what someone best accomplishment(s) were in their lives. Little do they know Danny has just settled into their city (and that they were about to get the shock of their lives)

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At first the Batfam decides to have fun with it--theres not much titles can do to help them with cases unless theyre particularly lucky. So they take a walk together in disguises to observe the passerbyers, curious of what civillains of gotham have done in their lives.

One gruff guy who grumbles shoving Bruce's shoulder as he walks by has the title 'KITTY SAVIOR' adorned above him and the batfam are greeted by the knowledge he had saved a cat from getting hit by a car

A kid in his pteens whose been shoving pamphlets into peoples hands has 'ADVERTISEMENT SUPERSTAR' above his head as he apparently managed to save his family's resturant with his intense marketing prowess (remind Bruce to try hiring him in the future.)

And lastly they faux browse a store trying to scope out someone else interesting and are greeted by the title... 'OPENER OF PICKLE JAR' and they decide to head home as Jason nearly crying trying to muffle his laughter.

At the manor they all cant help but agree, walking has made them hungry, and theres no harm ordering a pizza or two. It's been a long, mildly interesting day, though they weren't expecting much from thing ability.

Imagine their surprise when they open the door to see a black haired blue eyed child, pizza boxes in one hand, the other hand out awaiting a drop of money–completely missing the fact the title 'DEFEATED THE MAD KING WHO HAS TORMENTED THE AFTERLIFE FOR EONS' was placed innocently above his head

"Your total is 23.11!" The fucking 'Ghost King' kid (APPARENTLY) cheerily states????

"Uh," Bruce says blankly staring at this kid's title as his mouth blurts out, "Could you give us a second?"

[arbiterlexultionis]

I made/reblogged a post a while ago about Danny having a ridiculous amount of tittles. This has got my one(1) brain cell cooking up more ideas for it and I am loving it.

Damian, seeing ‘Mortal that can not die’ and ‘Immortal which is dead’ floating above Danny’s head and thinking he finally found someone his family won’t give him the Disappointment and Disapproval look for him not playing gently with: Can stab?🥺

Dick, seeing ‘peasant the slays dragons’ ‘Unstoppable Force’ ‘Immovable Object’ ‘He who overcame the infinite’ and ‘Bringer of Vengance’ floating above Danny’s head while he hands Bruce a pizza:No! No Stab!

They go to Constantine and Zatanna for help, and upon learning that Danny has the tittles ‘Savior of the Heavens’(4 pantheons tried to gang up on Christianity for “stealing their humans” so Danny had to step in to get them to chill the fuck out) ‘Enemy of the Heavens’(A child was sacrificed to a demon, and after literally going through hell to save the kids soul and bring it to the pearly gates he was told that he had to give the child’s soul back to the demon that stole it because the child’s soul had been “tainted”. Danny said No and they still haven’t gotten over it.) ‘Deceiver of Loki’ ‘Crusher of Thor’ ‘Rejecter of Aphrodite’ ‘Master of Merlin’ and several other religious/mystical tittles and both nearly have an aneurism: Every motherfucker I’ve ever been told to never fuck with have been the same motherfucker all along. Bullocks.

DCxDP Fic where the Batfam gets an item/ability which allows them for just that day, to temporarily be able to what someone best accomplishment(s) were in their lives. Little do they know Danny has just settled into their city (and that they were about to get the shock of their lives)

---

At first the Batfam decides to have fun with it--theres not much titles can do to help them with cases unless theyre particularly lucky. So they take a walk together in disguises to observe the passerbyers, curious of what civillains of gotham have done in their lives.

One gruff guy who grumbles shoving Bruce's shoulder as he walks by has the title 'KITTY SAVIOR' adorned above him and the batfam are greeted by the knowledge he had saved a cat from getting hit by a car

A kid in his pteens whose been shoving pamphlets into peoples hands has 'ADVERTISEMENT SUPERSTAR' above his head as he apparently managed to save his family's resturant with his intense marketing prowess (remind Bruce to try hiring him in the future.)

And lastly they faux browse a store trying to scope out someone else interesting and are greeted by the title... 'OPENER OF PICKLE JAR' and they decide to head home as Jason nearly crying trying to muffle his laughter.

At the manor they all cant help but agree, walking has made them hungry, and theres no harm ordering a pizza or two. It's been a long, mildly interesting day, though they weren't expecting much from thing ability.

Imagine their surprise when they open the door to see a black haired blue eyed child, pizza boxes in one hand, the other hand out awaiting a drop of money–completely missing the fact the title 'DEFEATED THE MAD KING WHO HAS TORMENTED THE AFTERLIFE FOR EONS' was placed innocently above his head

"Your total is 23.11!" The fucking 'Ghost King' kid (APPARENTLY) cheerily states????

"Uh," Bruce says blankly staring at this kid's title as his mouth blurts out, "Could you give us a second?"