What he says: It's everything about that! It's EVERYTHING about fishing.
What he means: I want simplicity. I want sweet nothings. I want you to love me for who I am, for who I want to be. I have been trying to shed my skin, trying to shed who everyone wants me to be. I want to be Ed, not Blackbeard. Just Ed.
And it's scaring me. Seeing you around all of this fame is scaring me. Seeing you not be stoked about my simplicities is scaring me.
Because, deep down, I feel like people only liked me for Blackbeard. People only respected that name, not my real one. And now? I'm folding stuff. And that's okay.
But you weren't okay. I shaved my beard and you ran. I caught a fish and you complimented me only to "make me feel good."
I'm so scared you only like me a certain way. I'm so scared I'm not enough.
I'm so scared you'll leave me because I can't be who you want.
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I really think Gorgug breaking up with Zelda is part of why Gorgug is so quick to act on his anger and emotions this season. Now when I say this I'm not saying it to blame Zelda or say they should get back together. Gorgug is going through it and putting him in a relationship to "fix" that where all of the burden of his emotional regulation falls on his SO's shoulders is toxic and not what he needs.
But it does mean that I desperately need someone to actually talk about what happened between Gorgug and Zelda/a proper moment of someone sitting Gorgug down and making sure he's good. As funny as constantly aggrevated Gorgug is and as likely as it is that he maybe just finally snapped, I think there's a chance more is going on.
He's fully not rolled on almost any relationship tracks this season and we barely see him interacting with anyone at all. Could this just be Gorgug focusing in on studies and forgetting friendships/relationships? Sure. Could he also be isolating leading to more anger and pent up feelings that have gone unchecked leading to him not wanting to interact with other people because he gets angry so quickly? Yes.
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dimension 20 is so dangerous because sometimes you'll watch a season and it's like "what if birds were fairies who wanted to FUCK?" and sometimes its like "what if in 70 years you are exactly the same as you are now, and when you look back at the world you felt was leaving you behind you realize, too late, how many times people tried to reach out and take you along?" and there's literally no way of telling which is going to be which until about episode 5
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The thing with Jon is that he is actually really funny! His delightfully dry and sarcastic sense of humor is pleasantly visible from the beginning, and it's gradual decline as pressure builds up is pointed. He never loses his humor though, and in so many cases the crisis enhances it.
It makes me consider his childhood. Jon's rejected, ignored and hushed pretty often but it scarcely stops his witty comments; is this the environment he grew up it? Its not uncommon for elderly people to have dry humor also, and the mask of academia goes hand in hand with sarcasm.
What's really fascinating about Jon's humor however, is how it changes during the apocalypse. When he no longer has to mantain a professional image or his integrity in any way his humor takes much more of a forefront. Of course, he's still under a tremendous amount of pressure so it would be ridiculous for him to be funny all of the time, but when the social stakes are lowered he's much more open.
We see it in many moments when he's with Martin, and even with Basira, Melanie, and Georgie. His jokes are a lot more honest, and he allows them to be simply funny instead of lacing them with intellectualism. For the first time him being professional, polite, and socially acceptable will do absolutely nothing to help him and he's able to let go.
Even in through the various moments of struggle in their journey Jon's able to be more relaxed, which in turn seems to create better outcomes; I'd say that this is because it's not his fault for once, but since he very clearly believes that it is, this reaction is likely as a result of the fact that it absolutely and categorically could not get any worse .
This, I think, is a reason Jon and Martin were able to get so far (and remain so engaging). Even in the darkest depths, the worst of the worst, their survival instincts and coping mechanisms compliment eachother greatly. Jon provides information, knowledge, and the light relief of a very good joke. Martin provides care, concern, and emotional critical thinking.
Their love for eachother was the glue that held together a very well suited team, and together their skills and even their flaws carried them forward.
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Me, after watching Yasmine Nolastname aggressively perform heterosexuality for the 3rd season in a row, except now her act is slipping and she's desperately flailing around trying to figure out how the Standard Straight Girl™️ would act around the boy she's dating:
🎶AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD YOU WAKE UP NEXT TO HIIIIIIIIIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIIIIIIIIIIGHT
WITH YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HAAAAAAANDS, YOU'RE NOTHING MOOOOORE THAN HIS WIFE
AND THEN YOU THINK ABOUT Moon, ALL OF THOSE YEARS AGO
YOU'RE STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH "I TOLD YOU SO"
You know, I hate to say it...BUT I TOLD YOU SOOOOOOO 🎶
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