#ED DARLING GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!
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What he says: It's everything about that! It's EVERYTHING about fishing.
What he means: I want simplicity. I want sweet nothings. I want you to love me for who I am, for who I want to be. I have been trying to shed my skin, trying to shed who everyone wants me to be. I want to be Ed, not Blackbeard. Just Ed.
And it's scaring me. Seeing you around all of this fame is scaring me. Seeing you not be stoked about my simplicities is scaring me.
Because, deep down, I feel like people only liked me for Blackbeard. People only respected that name, not my real one. And now? I'm folding stuff. And that's okay.
But you weren't okay. I shaved my beard and you ran. I caught a fish and you complimented me only to "make me feel good."
I'm so scared you only like me a certain way. I'm so scared I'm not enough.
I'm so scared you'll leave me because I can't be who you want.
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Edward Teach#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Revenge Rambles#LOOKING INTO LINES MY BELOVED#LOOKING INTO DEEPER UNDERLYING MEANINGS MY BELOVED#like ed darling goodness gracious#ED DARLING GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!#SPEAK YOUR MIND MY LOVE#YOUR METAPHORS ARE WONDERFUL BUT HSDJKSDHLKS#//SPEAK YOUR MIND//
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04/22-25/2025 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Con O'Neill; Vico Ortiz; Samba Schutte; Ruibo Qian; Gypsy Taylor; Guz Khan; Cohen Holloway; Dominic Burgess; Rachel House; Damien Gerard; Tiny Crew Big Raffle Reminders; Fan Weeks: Frenchie Week; Love Notes;
= David Jenkins =
David is absolutely adoring the OFMD themed little library that Gregandree71.bsky.social put together! Check it out on their bluesky!
Source: David Jenkins Bsky
= Rhys Darby =
I don't know what else to say other than Rhys has been feeding us well with all these shots of his tour! Darby Kebabs? Goodness gracious.
Source: Rhys' IG

Source: Rhys's Instagram Stories
New Substack up for the Paid subscribers!
Source: Rhys's Paid Substack
= Taika Waititi =
Taika was spotted in Sydney for one of his new movies!
Source: The Source IG post has been removed, so Im removing credit as I don't want to get the person in trouble. If you'd like it re-added let me know!
Taika also directed a new Sephora Commercial and hey look, Ra Vincent was Production Designer!
instagram
Source: Instagram
= Con O'Neill =
Con sending us some love <3

Source: Con's IG
= Vico Ortiz =
Vico's moving to substack! If you were following Vico's Patreon, they'll be moving everything over by May 1.
Source: Vico's New Substack
Today in Gay Podcast is still going strong!
April 24
April 23
April 22
Source: Today In Gay Free Substack
= Samba Schutte =
Our BTS Saint Samba has been out and about for Earth Day and Sending love to his local shops!


Source: Samba's IG
Oh and great news! Preorders are back up for more bandanas!
instagram
Source: Samba's IG
= Ruibo Qian =
Ruibo dropping the cat content is all I need in this world!
Source: Ruibo's IG
= Guz Khan =
Guz is back! The final season of Man Like Mobeen is premiering on BBC Iplayer on May 1!
instagram
Source: Guz' IG
= Gypsy Taylor =
Gypsy got to see Rhys Live!!!

She also sent a shout out to our dear Michelle aka longmayheroam.bsky.social!
Source: Gypsy's IG
= Cohen Holloway =
Pop Pop, Cohen Holloway is going to be speaking on Palaver at the Little Andromeda at the beginning of May! In AoNZ and wanna get tickets? Visit www.littleandromeda.co.nz. (PS: Deacon from WWDITS, Jonny Brugh will also be on there!)

Source: Palaver's IG
= Dominic Burgess =
Happy 9 year Anniversary to Dominic and his husband Mathew Yanagiya!





Source: Dominic's IG
= Rachel House =
Our beloved Mary Reed, Rachel House was out on vacation! And is that a Stu Rutherford (we're seeing all sorts of WWDITS cast out lately!) I spot amongst the cherry blossoms 👀?



Source: Rachel's IG
= Damien Gerard =
Damien, aka Father Teach is feeling the love from the OFMD fans! Thank you to whomever it was that made his night! PS: Damien's Birthday is coming up on May 10!
Source: Damien's Bsky
= Tiny Crew Big Raffle Reminder =
Reminder! Our friends over at @tinycrewbigraffle are still raffling off some amazing prizes to raise funds for wonderful charities chosen by the cast! The grand prize is this adorable baby monkey prop donated by Megan Vertelle! Other prizes include an OFMD Pop Up Zine by our darling Ollie aka @lumiilys! If that wasn't enough to incentivize you, you can also win a reproduction of Ed's necklace by Harlan's Emporium!! Check out the site for more information!




Source: TinyCrewBigRaffle Site / OFMD Pop Up Zine Info / Harlan's Emporium Info
== Fan Weeks ==
May 18 to 24th is Frenchie Week! For more info and prompts visit frenchieweek.bsky.social!
Source: Frenchie Week Bsky
== Love Notes ==
Hey lovelies. Phew, managed two catch ups in one night, now I just need to get caught up on the last of March and early April! It's gonna happen!
As I was getting ready to post this, "This Women's Work" started playing, and hand to goodness it came up randomly on spotify (after I'd chosen the Love Notes art already). I thought it was a good sign to send out a gentle reminder that we all still have a little life in us yet. Things are tough right now. Every day we're fighting, every day we're pushing back, and it's exhausting. Please take a break. Please handle today and no matter what happens, even if you stay on that break, come back to this world tomorrow. You have so much life left in you, and you have so much love and kindness to give to this world, and this world to give to you. You deserve soft times, and love, and we're gonna have to fight for them for a while, but I hope you know you deserve them, and they will happen one day. We just have to hold onto hope. If I was going to be stuck in the Gravy Basket with anyone, I'm glad it's all of you. Love you Crew.
instagram
Source: The Latest Kate's IG
#ofmd daily recap#daily ofmd recap#rhys darby#david jenkins#taika waititi#con o'neill#vico ortiz#samba schutte#guz khan#rachel house#stu rutherford#adopt our crew#save ofmd#ofmd#our flag means death#dominic burgess#cohen holloway
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hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them
oooh bet u thought i forgot about u anon. i didn’t. i’ve been here. scheming and plotting. and i am soooo full of love to give. hold onto your hats
i’m putting the gushing under a cut because this post is getting too long haha whoopsie
@tisziny my darling beloved and dearly cherished friend. one of the first people to reach out to me and i am eternally grateful for their wonderful heart and friendship. my sweetest cheese! 🧀 an incredibly skilled writer and artist who i sincerely admire <3 not enough words to describe my love for them tbh
@skysofrey kaitlin my beautiful and cherished friend and wife. we were cut of the same cloth and then separated at birth but we defied to odds and joined forces anyway! so insightful and kind and sweet and hilarious and overall wonderful (and also sooooo pretty have u guys seen my wife she’s sooooo pretty wtf) 🖤💜❤️
@blackbeardskneebrace miles blackbeardskneebrace the absolute marvel that you are <3 so incredibly nice and extraordinarily talented! every time they post art it adds 100000 years to my lifespan and puts tears in my eyes. genuinely astounding
@blakbonnet despite the angst and antagonising me for Ed’s beard, i will always love Meow with my whole chest. and she can do it all!!! she writes, makes art, makes gifs! she’s even funny and smart and hot and NICE! save some for the rest of us babe come on <3
@gentlebeard ohhhh my sweet wonderful Ella (now with a new and improved url!) so incredibly kind and friendly! always willing for a hot makeout session in the bathroom and will gladly kill someone to defend your honour (i’ve seen her do it). makes edits that make you laugh and then WHABAM!! another that makes you feel like your lungs are being pulled out. love you ella <3
@snake-snack-stede we all know that olivia is the funniest mfer on this whole idiot website. it’s literally not even a contest. but did you guys know she’s also extraordinarily talented? she makes art and animates and makes edits that are gorgeous to look at. also i’m in love with her. she’s the sweetest candy apple at the fair and i’m a snot-nosed kid with an appetite.
@flightoftheconnie sex on legs. i become hot and flustered and feint when i think of her. makes me blush and giggle and kick my feet and she’s funny and smart and hot enough to be in a gallery but she’s here with us instead. give her kisses or die by my sword
@bizarrelittlemew we may not talk often but goodness gracious do i adore you 🥹 my god you’re hilarious and you make some of the most gorgeous gifs ive ever put my gay little eyes on. and yet another blessing to the world of ofmd fanfic <3
@saltpepperbeard JODI!!!!!! if jodi has a billion fans i’m one of them. if she has 100 fans i’m one of them. if Jodi has 0 fans then i’m dead. literally so sweet and kind and enthusiastic and an absolute treasure. and my GOODNESS can she write!! her work feels like a warm hug (just like her!)
@sherlockig literally too hot to be on the hellsite with us but we are so blessed to have her. an absolute TREASURE to this fandom and to anyone who knows her. the amount of lockscreens i’ve got that are just alexz screengrabs is absolutely insane. thank you for all your work i love you forever
@dickfuckk josh — a living breathing legend. any time you need a file? a link? an image? josh has got your back. one of the funniest people i’ve ever interacted with. also makes edits devastating enough to kill a man <3
@xoxoemynn Em my wonderful Cherub From Heaven!!! pure charm and grace, and one of the most enthusiastic and delightful people i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. such an accomplished and skilled writer as well!
@vampirebutterflies my #1 date to the observatory and my partner in crime <33 so effortlessly funny and kind and has the best taste in music ever. every single song they’ve sent me has been an absolute banger and has been put in the frequent rotation (huge shoutout to Vacations)
@bunnyandthejets my dear and darling friend Bunny who is so incredibly kind and sweet. has been so vocally supportive and enthusiastic since we met and i’m so grateful to have her friendship and support. she’s also made me cackle like an insane person on enough occasions to be criminal.
@wearfinethingsalltoowell don’t let the angst fool you, Joy is actually wonderful and a ray of sunshine <3 i’m convinced she just enjoys causing us pain for fun. she’s creative and wonderful and the World’s Number One Olu Enjoyer (and therefore objectively correct)
@sassygwaine is one of those unabashedly kind souls who simply oozes love into everything they do and create. so genuine and resilient and smart!!! writes like an absolute dream too
@chocolatepot a complete sweetheart who was one of my first friends in this fandom, and who has been consistently friendly and supportive ever since. unwaveringly kind and nice. also her writing. oh my god. 😭 a huge inspiration to silly little me
@jellybeanium124 nina is so effortlessly hilarious. she’s had me giggling and twirling my hair on numerous occasions. she’s also full to the brim with good and correct takes. (also a Button’s truther and the world needs more of those.)
@awkward-fallen-angel heather is just soooo lovely!! another one of the people that’s been here since the very early days and i’m always so grateful for her insight and enthusiasm and the sheer joy she puts into everything.
@stedebonnets i mean this so sincerely and with my whole heart: Ara is one of the nicest and most loving people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. an absolute angel who drops in to consistently check on her friends and spread love and joy. we need more Ara’s in the world. also has one of the most beautiful ofmd tattoos i’ve ever seen <3
if you haven’t been included in this list, please know that i love you so so so dearly and that i genuinely am just a little bit stupid (on account of the short term memory issues lol). if you’re feeling left out, send me a message and i’ll say something sooo niceys about you 🥹 i love you all. thank you for being here. <3
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Gingerbread men | G.W.
A Christmas Special
a/n: I've written this as a continuation of Weasley support system but you don't really need to have read it, it can be treated as a standalone piece. Pure fluff!
Summary: Christmas is coming, your eldest son has invited his crush over and all of you enjoy the Christmas Eve together.
word count: 1385
Taglist general: @izzyyy-1 George: @hufflepuff5972 Weasley twins: @pandaxnienke
“Just no teasing today, okay?” you said to your husband, standing in front of your open wardrobe and talking to him through the open bathroom door. “What?” he mumbled, his mouth filled with toothpaste foam. “I asked you not to tease our son in front of Dylan today, love,” you said softly, pulling a jumper you had picked out off a rack. George spat into the sink, “What do you mean ‘tease’?” he asked, puzzled, turning the tap on.
You put on your jumper and grabbed a hair elastic, then walked over to your master bathroom. You stood next to him in front of the great mirror and began to tie your hair up. “I mean that Dylan’s coming here as his friend and I want no interfering with Luke’s love life,” you looked into his eyes in the reflection, as he patted his face with a towel, to make sure the message’s coming through, “you know how it is with crushes at that age…” “Yeah, I know, I had one…” He walked over behind you to place his hands on your hips and plant a kiss to the back of your now exposed neck, “smart, pretty, always drove me wild” he smiled at you cheekily through the mirror.
You tsk-ed and turned around to face him, trying to fight a grin off of your face. “I’m serious, love. The tiniest embarrassments seem like the end of the world. He has enough on his plate, so no jokes, no suggestions, no funny looks – nothing that would put him on the spot,” you finished, putting up a finger in front of his face.
George studied your eyes for a second, “you have very little faith in me, darling,” he placed a gentle peck on the tip of your finger, “but alright. I promise.”
——————⁛⁙⁘◊⁘⁙⁛——————
“Wow,” Dylan marvelled, after stepping into the main room and looking around the space, “This is brilliant, Mrs Weasley…”
They finally arrived after George and Luke set out together to pick him up and you’ve been waiting at home, occupying yourself with preparations.
You did take your Christmas decorating seriously. It wasn’t anything too over-the-top but the whole space was decorated with gentle garlands and some small decorations, illuminated by soft fairy lights. The main piece – Christmas tree, standing proudly by the window on the other side of the room.
You smiled widely, walking up to the boy.
“First of all, you can call me Y/N, I think you know me well enough. Secondly, it’s a group effort.” You said, meaning, of course, your whole family but giving very smug-looking George a look. “Welcome back, it’s been so long! But we’re so happy to have you,” you spread your arms wide to hug the boy.
“Shall I put the kettle on?” you asked excitedly and your son rolled his eyes in the back of the room.
——————⁛⁙⁘◊⁘⁙⁛——————
“Oohh my goodness, why does it already smell so good…” groaned Ruby, leaning over the gingerbread dough as Vivian gave it a good poke.
You pulled the cookie cutters out of a drawer as Luke, Dylan and the twins took the stools by the kitchen island and then you poured them all out in front of the teens. You made yourself busy with rolling the dough as they each picked out their favourite shapes.
“George..?” you called out, not knowing where your husband was. You had talked to him ten minutes earlier and he knew you were about to start with the cookies, yet still, he hasn’t come to the kitchen.
No answer.
After a few more seconds of silence, you called out a bit louder, “George, darling..?”, getting ready to drop everything to look around the house for him.
“Coming, coming..!”, you heard from a corridor, then George appeared with a smile on his face and the sleeves of his festive jumper pulled up. You watched with your eyes a bit narrowed as he washed his hands.
“Where were you?” you asked curiously.
He pulled the rolling pin out of your hand and pushed you lightly with his hips to move you aside, “Talking to Jake,” he answered nonchalantly, resuming the work you had started.
When you were done, and the cookies were sitting in the oven, he got around to placing all the gift boxes under the tree for the next morning. And instead of using the levitation or the locomotion charm he dramatically carried them by hand. Grunting and huffing, he glanced in your direction to make sure you saw him place an exceptionally huge package you haven’t seen before.
——————⁛⁙⁘◊⁘⁙⁛——————
Later that day, after dinner, the whole house gathered around to decorate the cookies you had made earlier.
“Jacob..!” Vivian groaned as he grabbed a cookie off the tray and took a bite. “What? Stop being so tight and take a bite too…” he replied with his mouth full and on cue, Ruby appeared over his shoulder and swiped the rest off the cookie, which quickly disappeared inside her mouth as she high-fived her sister. “Daad!” Jake pleaded.
George looked between the three and sighed, trying not to laugh.
“See, dad knows I’m right, gobhead” Vivian teased before you came back with the rest of stuff needed for decorating. “All of you.” You said sternly setting things down on the island and sitting down.
The decorating passed alternately on playful banter in the warm atmosphere and in comfortable silence as everyone was working away, focusing on their tiny masterpieces.
Luke and Dylan spent especially long decorating a gingerbread man each, made to resemble the other, to exchange them later.
——————⁛⁙⁘◊⁘⁙⁛——————
“Ahh..” you relaxed, sitting down on the sofa next to George with a mug of hot chocolate in hand.
He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought his other hand with his own mug close to yours. “Merry Christmas, my love,” he said with a relaxed smile on his face and you clinked delicately, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” you replied, then you melted into his side. The both of you were sipping your hot drinks contently, half-listening to the kids hanging out a bit further away.
“I really like Christmas,” George started in a low voice, only for you to hear. You hummed in agreement. “It all goes by so fast but in moments like these you can just sit back and look at all this,” he nodded his head, referring to your family. You turned your head, still resting on his shoulder, to look up at him. “I mean, we made most of these, remember?” he joked, pointing his head at the teens in front of you. You chuckled, “Eh, more or less…” you teased and he laughed at you. “I’ll let this one slide because you have a hot drink in hand.” “How gracious indeed. I knew I married right,” you brought your hand up to the side of his face and kissed his cheek.
You admired your little family for a moment. They were all growing up so fast. Jacob was your little baby just a moment ago, now he was bound to hit puberty any moment. Your beautiful girls, both apples of George’s eyes, growing to be strong, fierce women. They were almost the age you were when you first started dating George. Lucas and Dylan were almost adults now and you tried not to think about him moving out anytime soon. But you couldn’t help the warmth spreading in your heart when you glanced at their hands, fingers intertwined.
“But really,” you said after a moment, “when we were still dating, you were fresh out of Hogwarts and we were starting to get serious…” Your voice was soft and quiet as you went back to that time in your mind, getting a bit nostalgic. “I knew you’d be the one, and we started talking about future a bit more… I imagined the kind of life I wanted with you…” You looked back up at him to see him already looking at you with pure adoration in his eyes. “And it turned out exactly how I imagined it. Everything I dreamed of.”
George leaned down to softly press his lips onto yours and just like every other time, you felt as if you fell in love all over again.
“Yeah, I’d say we played it out alright.”
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Always (or Dani, the collector of souls falls in love and Miles keeps passing out during the entire story)
If you were, hypothetically, of course, to visit a place in England called Bly Manor, you would most likely meet an odd group of people. You would see two children, one an absolute angel, the other a teenage, snarky brat of a boy, who are probably being supervised by a stern, yet extremely capable looking woman. You would probably be shown around the house by the sweetest housekeeper in the world, probably be offered lemon cakes by a tall man who looks at the aforementioned housekeeper with all the stars in his eyes. And maybe, just maybe in the middle of it all, you might glance outside and see a woman standing by herself in the garden. At first you would think she’s just moving casually, maybe dancing on her own; and then you would see that her movement has a pattern. It almost seems as though.... no, it couldn’t be.
“Is that woman,” you would ask, hesitantly, not wishing to offend these people and some potential strange ritual of theirs, “talking to herself?”
The housekeeper (Hannah, you think she’s called) glances outside and chuckles. “Oh, that,” she says. “That’s just Jamie. Jaime’s the gardener. She’s just talking to her girlfriend.”
You would resist the urge to rub at your eyes. “Her.... her girlfriend?”
“Well, technically Dani hasn’t asked her yet,” the cook cuts in, smiling. “But it’s on the way, I assure you.”
You would look from the strange, solitary woman, to their frank, open faces, and then back to the solitary woman again, and you would think.
You would think Why, these people are absolutely fucking bonkers.
*****
(They’re really not)
*****
The first time Jamie saw the woman, it was from across the grounds, which is why it took her crossing halfway the distance to realize that she was breakdancing.
Then again, she had also got other things on her mind. Peter Fucking Quint had to go and fall off the parapet while attempting to rob the Wingraves of their old jewelry the night before last, and between helping Hannah communicate with the police, ensuring Owen received an adequate number of head pats every hour to calm him down, and offering Rebecca a listening ear for both murderous rants and angry tears, she had her hands completely full. And that wasn’t even including the kids, although they seemed to be doing fairly alright. Thankfully they had not seen the body. However, that didn’t deter Miles, who was currently going through a bit of a Hannibal phase, from popping up at random intervals to ask her what broken bones looked like, or if the blood had frozen overnight.
All in all, pretty exhausting.
Which is why the sight of the children standing in front of a breakdancing woman didn’t register at first. She was pulling out the weeds, sun high in the sky, sweat tracing an uncomfortable path down her back when something made her look up. One double take, and she was scrambling in their direction.
She reached them, panting, raised her head after her breath was a little more even and looked right at the woman, who was currently doing the robot. “Um,” she started, unsure of where to go from there. “Are — are you quite alright?”
The woman stopped abruptly, her mouth falling open. “You can see me?”
Okay, this woman was clearly mental. “Yes?”
The woman looked even more astounded. “You really can?” she turned to Flora next. “You too?”
Flora blinked. “Yes, we can.”
“But that’s impossible! You shouldn’t be able to see me. In fact—”
“Jaime, darling,” Miles cut in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of a rapidly delivered monologue. “Could you escort this.... clearly insane lady outside?”
Jaime thwack-ed the side of his head gently. “Wanna try that again? Nicely?”
He looked sheepish. Not really a bad kid, that one, she thought. Just annoying.
“But you really shouldn’t be able to see me. By all calculations, it’s completely—”
“Well, why not?” Miles asked, now having warmed to the idea of possibly talking to someone who was crazy.
The woman brightened up. “Well, because,” she said, “this, I guess.”
And then she snapped her fingers, disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the lake, where she waved at them excitedly.
Flora is the only one who waved back. Jamie was too busy supporting the weight of a now-collapsed Miles.
*****
Jamie thought it was patently unfair that the reaper of souls was just so damn cute.
(They weren’t supposed to be cute! They were supposed to look gaunt and hollow, and angry and sad, not like sunshine wrapped up in a very human looking package. They weren’t supposed to be walking around with bright, blue, gorgeous eyes, and faces that seemed to have been sculpted by some divine power up there, and a voice that was sweet and soothing enough to put Jamie right to sleep.)
“It’s amazing how all of you can see me,” the reaper of souls, or Dani, as she had introduced herself, said, looking wide-eyed at all of them. Rebecca and a recently awakened Miles were the only ones who looked actively concerned, standing in the corner. Owen and Hannah were, as ever, polite and pleasant, if a little curious. Flora was already settled in next to Dani, asking her questions a mile a minute. And Jamie was—
(Very fucking annoyed at how pretty Dani was)
—completely alright.
“And you’re here to get Peter?” Owen asked her, with a sideways look in Rebecca’s direction.
“Oh yes,” Dani replied. “And boy, was that man a pain. Really whiny. Went all Boohoo I can’t be dead, I’m supposed to do so many things, I’m so cool and awesome and. Ugh. Annoying is what he was. I mean, the list says Peter Quint — died while trying to steal from Bly Manor; what am I supposed to do?”
They all nodded, a little dazed.
“And then I saw the kids and I was bored and I thought they couldn’t see me anyways so,” she continued, and then looked down, suddenly a little shy. “I really am sorry about the.... you know, breakdancing. I honestly thought nobody could see me.”
“It’s okay, it was cute,” Jamie found herself saying before she had time to process, and then wanted to stab herself with the fork lying on the table. If that didn’t work, bang her head on the surface until she bled to death. Or—
“Thank you,” Dani said, equally as quiet.
Jamie closed her eyes, willed her body to fall dead right then and there.
(It didn't work, unfortunately)
“Would you like to stay for supper?” he heard Owen ask their guest.
“Supper?” Dani asked. “Wait, is it already that late?”
Jamie looked up a moment later, when she heard everybody scream and then she opened her eyes to see a stranger standing right near the stove.
“Viola!” Dani said, alarmed. “I thought I sent a message I was gonna be late.”
The woman looked very haughty, very angry and (this is something she hated to admit, again, but) very fucking hot. Seriously. What was with these underworld people and ridiculously angelic skin? Her gaze moved past all of them, came to rest on Dani.
“I got your message alright,” she announced, blithely. “Just couldn’t figure out why you were still here.”
Dani chuckled, nervously. “So, funny story, but as it turns out — these people can — uh, see us?”
Viola tilted her head, regarded her. “Are you sure?”
“Hello,” Hannah said, ever the gracious host. “Welcome to Bly Manor.”
Viola looked flabbergasted now, doing a double take to look at all of them more carefully.
“They can see us?”
Dani nodded, gingerly.
“Seriously?”
Another nod.
“But that can’t be—”
“—Viola, I know, but—”
“—it simply cannot be allowed—”
“—absolutely not I know what you’re thinki—”
“—We have to end them!”
There was another whoosh right next to Jamie’s ear, and she took her time, turning around, only to see another pissed-off, hot woman, standing in the kitchen, her arms crossed.
“I didn’t even say kill!” Viola protested.
“You implied it!”
Their standoff was interrupted by a violent, abrupt thud. It seemed Miles had fainted again.
*****
Jamie walked into the greenhouse, paused and smiled.
“You cannot surprise me,” she said, aloud.
There was movement behind her, and then Dani walked into view.
“How do you always know I’m here?”
Jamie stayed quiet. There wasn’t a good, less-embarrassing way to say The air dances when you’re around, or I can feel your presence in the back of my neck, in the way my heart starts skipping steps on whatever treadmill it is currently running on.
“Let me keep my secrets,” she answered.
Dani stayed beside her, as she started on the rose plants, a safe distance away, safe enough for Jamie to not feel like she would combust. “I got you something.”
“You’ve already given me so many things,” Jamie told her, hand rubbing at the back of her neck. It was true. Every time Dani had dropped in the past month, she’d brought little trinkets from her travels all over the world.
(Travels was an excellent way of describing the action of harvesting the grumpy souls of the dead)
One time there had been crepes from Paris, courtesy the tourist guide who passed of a heart attack in a café. Another time it was one of Cerberus’ treats, because Jamie was eternally curious as to what hell dogs actually ate. The bone had been framed and now lay on one of her shelves back at home. One day, she had gotten macarons that Owen had scarfed down before Dani could get around to telling him they were filled with the eternal cries of the dead.
(He’d spent the entire day walking around convinced he was going to die. The doctor said it was indigestion)
She opened the neatly wrapped box and picked up the pomegranate. Turned it around in her hand, examined it.
“Aren’t these supposed to tie me down to the Underworld forever?” she asked, only half-serious.
“Gosh, no,” Dani said, nervously chuckling. “These are not that kind.”
Jamie waited.
“Um, so these,” Dani went on, “these seeds are kind of multi-purpose things? So basically you can eat them, but these seeds, when planted, they can grow any plant in the world. Doesn’t matter what soil they’re on. I mean, I heard you mention that flower you’ve always wanted to grow, but England doesn’t have the climate suited to it and — well. This would work.”
If Jamie could speak, this is what she would have said: I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t know why you’re here, why you give me so much of your precious time, time that you could be walking around the whole world in. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around me, how to breathe, how to look, and I’m an utter godforsaken mess, but I’m eternally grateful you barged into our lives a while ago. I don’t know what I was doing before you came. I hope you never leave.
She would have said I know you collect souls, but there’s at least one heart lying in that bag of yours, and there’s a good chance it’s mine.
As it is, all she did was grab onto Dani’s hand, and squeeze.
*****
“You have got to stop doing that!” Owen gasped, hand on his heart.
Dani shrugged from on where she was now perched on top of the table, sitting directly in front of an open-mouthed Miles. “Hannah always knows when I’m here.”
“That’s because I really do have eyes everywhere,” Hannah turned around, smiled brightly at Dani. “Spaghetti?”
“I’ve been asking you for the past five minutes!” Jamie said, indignantly.
“Well, now we know who’s her favorite,” Dani shoots an infuriatingly smug grin in her direction, and pats the top of her head and—
Jamie would feel annoyed if her heart wasn’t racing and there wasn’t a blush fighting to make its way up her cheeks. This love thing was annoying.
(Not that it was love, of course. Certainly not)
“As charming as that sounds, Hannah darling,” Dani continued, “I actually came for a purpose.”
“Is it to set murderers on us again?”
“No, Miles,” Dani replied, patiently. “Plus, Viola and Perdita wouldn’t really have.... killed you. Maimed you, at best.”
Rebecca shuddered delicately on the other side of the table.
“Remember when you said you’d had a bit of a dinosaur phase when you were a kid?” Dani directed this towards Jamie.
“... yes?”
“Well,” Dani snapped her fingers, and to their extreme horror, a parrot sized creature appeared next to her, “meet Battery!”
“—completely house trained,” she heard Dani explaining to Hannah, while she extended a hand towards (what was he called? Right) Battery. He opened his mouth, stepped closer, licked the entire length of her finger with a long, slimy tongue, and then immediately nipped at her nail.
(Jamie may or may not be helplessly charmed)
Before she could say anything, however, Miles fell from his chair onto the kitchen floor.
Rebecca sighed, got up from her chair. “You guys know there’s going to be permanent brain damage if he keeps doing that.”
*****
About three things went wrong the day Jamie decided she was finally going to tell Dani she was in love with her.
The first thing was that she needed to get drunk, and decided to trust Owen and Hannah to deliver. The second was that Battery wasn’t adequately educated in the intricacies of human weirdness and tended to panic at the first sign of strange behavior. Third, lakes weren’t the most romantic places to confess your love, but apparently nobody had told Jamie this.
So when she found herself flailing for breath after having somehow made her way to the middle of the lake in a makeshift lifeboat and then having upturned it in the process, she only had herself to blame.
“What,” Dani started, looking absolutely furious, hair all over the place as she held Jamie up, “the fuck were you doing in the middle of the lake?”
“Hey!” Jamie sang, because the alcohol was making her feel very sing-song-y, “You shouldn’t be here yet! It’s not time!”
“Battery panicked and summoned me,” Dani explained. “Are — are you drunk?”
“No, she’s not!” Hannah called out from where she and Owen had just reached the lake. “We gave her loads of strong bitter soda and convinced her it was watered down whiskey.”
(Now that she was thinking about it, the whiskey had seemed pretty fizzy for her liking)
“Oh,” she Jamie, now sobered up. “But I was drowning.”
“Yeah, in about five feet of water.”
Well, that was anticlimactic.
*****
At midnight, she sat by the lake, covered in a warm, fuzzy blanket Dani had draped all over her. Dani sat beside her, Battery on her lap, smiling at her from time to time.
“You’re such an idiot,” she said, out of nowhere, and Jamie didn’t have the heart to disagree. “What am I even going to do with you?”
“You could,” Jamie started, ponderously, like she hadn’t spent three months of her life thinking this over, like her heart wasn’t an over-excited ping-pong in her chest right now, “you could always take me out on a date, you know?”
“Really?” Dani murmured. “Well, that’s a novel idea.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Depends. Would you be okay dating someone who is almost constantly grumpy from carrying around beleaguered souls all day?”
Jamie pretended to think. “I think so, yes.”
“Someone who regularly hangs out with a murder-friendly woman?”
“.... maybe?”
“How about someone who may have to keep going away for lengths of time?”
Jamie turned to her. “Would that someone come back to me, though?”
Dani’s eyes were shiny and hopeful, and she felt her breath get stuck in her throat like a lovesick little fool. “Always,” Dani whispered.
“Well, then,” Jamie whispered back to her, and then leaned in for the most picture-perfect happy ending of all time.
#the haunting of bly manor#thobm#thobm fanfic#this is a completely crazy au i have no idea where i got the idea from but yeah#basically me not being able to accept that rebecca and hannah and dani died so yeah#some more family feels#but also grim reapers???????#as always#no editing we die like dani clayton#happy reading y'all#dani x jamie#fanfiction
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Against All Odds
Requested Who: Tom Holland Song: Perfect by Ed Sheeran
Part One ||| Part Two ||| Part Three
A/N: I am SO sorry that part three took a fucking year....I had it in my drafts for the longest fucking time because I have that perfectionist mentality and have to re-write it a million to one times. But, it’s been long enough and this is probably the most popular one I have going on my page.
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love Not knowing what it was, I will not give you up this time. But, darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own. And in your eyes you’re holding mine.
We are still kids, but we’re so in love. Fighting against all odds. I know we’ll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand. Be my girl, I’ll be your man.
Two seconds.
It had taken Tom only two seconds to decide.
Two seconds to drop the dirty pan back into the sink after Harry had read a tabloid article stating that [Y/N] and [B/F/N] had broken up.
In less than a few minutes, Tom was out the door, running the five miles to [Y/N]’s house. Had Tom not been so concerned with how [Y/N] was feeling, it would have complimented his record timing in reaching her house. But, that was the least of his concern.
He stood in the piss pouring rain at [Y/N]’s door step. Knocking twice, Tom struggled to figure out what he would say to her. Instead of having the girl he loved with every inch of his being meeting him at the door, it was her mother instead.
“Goodness gracious,” [Y/N]’s mother exclaimed, “Thomas Holland, what in the world are you doing?! You’re going to catch a cold, honey.” She shook her head at the young man sopping wet from the night’s weather.
Pressing his lips together, he ran a hand through his damp hair. Not really caring if he caught a cold or not. “Um, I, uh, is, is [Y/N] home?”
Sighing, [Y/N]’s mother leaned against the door frame. She had always been a fan of Tom even if he had broken her daughter’s heart. She knew Tom had meant well and she couldn’t hold it against him. She had been a young actress once and she understood the demands the life asked.
“She’s in the backyard, cooped up in that old tree-house...I’ve tried coaxing her out but...”
Stepping backwards off the porch, he motioned towards the side of the house. “May I?”
Crossing her arms, she shrugged. “If it were anyone else, I would say no. But, if anyone is going to make her feel better, it’ll be you.” Nodding, she moved away from the door frame and unhooked her husband’s rain jacket and tossed it to Tom. “Put this on, you’ll catch your death out here.”
Tom smiled, “Thank you, Mrs. [L/N].”
Just before he was about to book it around the house, she called out. “Tom!”
Whipping his head around, “Yes?”
Giving him a sweet but stern look, she spoke softly. “Don’t hurt her again, you hear me, young man?”
Grinning softly, he looked down at the wet grass and then back up at [Y/N]’s mother. Saluting, “Yes m’am.” After she chuckled and nodded him to go on, he ran off towards the backyard. Hopping the fence, he slowly approached the tree-house. The very old tree-house that he swore was there before they were even born. The boards were rotting and the steps looks looked like it was seconds from falling apart. Gripping the rain jacket in his hand, he threw it up over his shoulder and started to climb the rickety steps.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and hoisted himself up.
[Y/N]’s head snapped up, squinting her eyes, she sniffled. “Tom?” Wiping away tears, her brows knitted together, “What are you doing here?”
After his eyes adjusted to the darkened room, he frowned at what he saw. [Y/N] was soaking wet, her knees pulled to her chest and her back against the wall. Her hair was dripping and her pearly white night dress was sticking to her body. To some, she might have looked a mess but to Tom, she was always beautiful.
Crouching down in front of her, his heart broke at the sound of her voice. “Wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m not.” She whispered.
Biting his lip, he pulled the rain coat from his shoulder and wrapped it around her. “I know, love.” Not even thinking twice, he puled her into his arms. Scooting around her, he leaned against the wall and pulled her into him. Stroking her damp hair, he murmured again, “I know.”
Gripping his arm, she started to cry again. “Is there something wrong with me?”
“What? God, no. [Y/N].” Tom breathed. Using his free hand, he lifted her chin to force her to look at him in the eyes. “Look at me, [Y/N]. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”
Whimpering, “Then why does everyone leave me?”
He thought for a minute before he answered. Letting her chin go, he frowned. “Because we’re idiots.” Pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, he sighed. “I never should have broken up with you, [Y/N]. I just wanted you to find someone who’d make you their top priority, it just never occurred to me that they could have the potential to possibly hurt you too. I hate myself for letting you go, love. I really, truly do. I’ve never known that kind of pain before. I didn’t even know it existed until I watched you with that idiot. But, I had to put my own happiness aside because you looked so happy with him. I couldn’t just destroy it by telling you I still loved you.”
[Y/N] whimpered, “But I still loved you then, Tom. You could have just spared me this heartache by manning up to your feelings.” Pulling away from him, she stared at him with watery eyes, “Just when I was finally getting over you, he goes and breaks up with me.”
Cupping her face, Tom frowned. “I promise no one will ever hurt you again.”
Placing her hands over his, she frowned too. “How can you be so sure?”
He gave a gentle smile, “Because I swear to you that if you let me make up for my mistakes,” Tom’s thumb rubbed away her tears, “you will never cry hurt tears again.” Leaning closer to where their lips almost touched, Tom sighed. “I love you, [Y/N]. I always will. Nothing will ever change that. We were kids when we fell in love, hell, we’re still kids. But, we will do this right. I won’t ever let you go again. And if years from now, you decide that you’ve had enough of me, I’ll let you go because at least I can say that I’ve done my part in making you happy.”
Part One ||| Part Two ||| Part Three
#tom holland#tom holland gif#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland x fem!reader#tom holland fic#spiderman#homecoming#marvel#creds to the owner#peter parker
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