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virgoilluminati · 5 months ago

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Match Made in England

Following the success of the women's world cup and the ongoing struggles of juggling both fame, football and their relationship, Jude and Y/N set up a tv series.

A/N: ok so i kinda had this idea for a little while but this is kinda like a little spoof spinoff of the World Class series and each "episode" is like a little update into their life, with snippets as if they are hosting a tv reality show. If you have any requests on what episodes you would like to have posted on here pls let me know :)

A tv show created by two lovers that happen to both play for the england football team 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

You sit next to your window in your two-bedroom apartment, a cup of coffee steaming up over the rainy exterior. The sound of raindrops tapping against the glass creates a soothing rhythm, blending with the soft hum of the city outside. Your mind drifts as you watch the rain cascade down, each droplet carrying with it a piece of your thoughts.

Lost in the tranquility of the moment, you reflect on the past week, the challenges at work, and the unexpected encounter with an old friend. The city lights blur in the distance, their reflection shimmering on the wet streets below.

You take a slow sip of your coffee, savoring the warmth that spreads through your body.The apartment, though small, feels like a sanctuary. Bookshelves line the walls, filled with stories waiting to be explored. A faint aroma of vanilla and cinnamon from a nearby candle mingles with the rich scent of coffee, creating a comforting atmosphere.

As the rain continues to fall, you feel a sense of calm wash over you. Despite the hustle and bustle of life, these quiet moments remind you of the simple joys that make each day worth living. With a contented sigh, you lean back, ready to embrace whatever the evening brings.It had been six months since winning the World Cup and your world had been an absolute spin. TV interview after TV interview, magazine photoshoots, ongoing pestering rumors about your relationship with Jude—everything had felt like a whirlwind, one which never stopped. And now, the BBC had asked to start a reality TV show about your and Jude's life.

At first, you were hesitant, preferring the shielded safety of your private life together. But then, as reminded by your new PA, Emily, people had never been more interested in the women's game, and this was a huge step forward, likening it to other docu-series like Beckham.You let out a deep sigh, watching the rain continue to blur the cityscape outside your window. The idea of opening up your life to the public felt both thrilling and terrifying.

You and Jude had always valued your privacy, cherishing the quiet moments away from the prying eyes of the media. But Emily's words echoed in your mind—this could be a pivotal moment for women's sports, an opportunity to inspire and connect with fans on a deeper level.

With your coffee cup now empty, you stand and stretch, feeling the weight of the decision pressing on your shoulders. You walk over to the kitchen, placing the cup in the sink, and then glance at the clock. Jude would be home soon. The thought brings a smile to your face, a reminder of the support and love that had carried you both through the chaos of the past months.As you prepare dinner, your mind races with possibilities.

The show could highlight the dedication and hard work that goes into being a professional athlete, the balance between your careers and personal lives, and the love story that had captivated so many. But it could also bring unwanted scrutiny and pressure.

The sound of the front door opening pulls you from your thoughts. Jude walks in, shaking off the rain from his jacket. His smile is warm and reassuring, and you feel a sense of calm wash over you."Hey," he says, coming over to give you a kiss. "How was your day?"You take a deep breath, ready to share the latest development.

"Busy, as usual. You?"

"Trent being his usual annoying self." You let out a laugh, your heart warmed from the unlikely England duo.

"You spoke to Em today?" Jude asks, his head rested on your shoulder as he pulls you in for a hug.

"Uh yeah, theres something we need to talk about."Jude raises an eyebrow, curious. "What's up?"

"The BBC wants to do a reality show about us. Emily thinks it's a great idea, a big step forward for the women's game. I'm just... not sure."Jude listens intently, then takes your hand.

"It's a big decision, no doubt. I'm hesitant too, honestly. But it could also be quite fun. Imagine sharing our journey, the highs and lows, with everyone. It could be something really special."

You chuckle. “Yeah, special like that time you tried to cook dinner and almost set the kitchen on fire?"Jude laughs.

"Hey, it was only a small fire. And I learned a valuable lesson: never leave pasta boiling while watching a football game.”

You grin. “Exactly. We can show people the real us, kitchen disasters and all. But seriously, we should set some boundaries. Like, no cameras before I’ve had my morning coffee.”

Jude nods. “Agreed. And no filming me when I’m singing in the shower. Nobody needs to hear that.”

You burst out laughing. “Deal. And if it ever gets too much, we can always take a break. No pressure.”

Jude grins, pulling you into a hug. “Alright then, let’s get this show on the road. We’ll need to find a good production team and start planning out the details. Think they’ll let us film in the Birmingham pub?”

You laugh. “I’m sure we can work something out. This is going to be hilarious. I can’t wait to see what crazy moments we capture.”

Jude’s expression turns thoughtful. “And we’ll need a team that can travel with us, especially since I’ll be in Madrid a lot for games. Filming in different locations could add a cool dynamic, don’t you think?”

You nod. “Absolutely! We can show different cultures, cities, and maybe even some behind-the-scenes at your matches. Plus, it gives us an excuse to travel together more.”

Jude’s eyes light up. “True, and maybe I can even get some of my teammates to make cameo appearances. Imagine the chaos!”You laugh again. “Oh god, what have I gotten myself into..."

Episodes:

Ep 1: Just two kids from England: the ups and downs of football.

Ep 2: New Beginnings: All Things Madrid

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year ago

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How come I managed to get an outline done for once for the sole purpose of getting me to finish a chapter but I just can't get myself to finish that chapter?

Chapter Outlined, Can't Write Chapter

It happens. Outlines go only so far... you still have to flesh out the scenes as you write them... figure out the dialogue and the blocking. It's sort of like you can plot your trip route on Google Maps, but you still have to actually drive from one point to the other.

So... when you have an outline but are still struggling to actually write:

Problem #1 - You Don't Have a Way In

Having a chapter outline usually just means you know what generally (and importantly) needs to happen in the scene, the general order those things need to happen in, and some things like the scene's purpose, your character's goal, etc. But this is sort of like having a set of instructions that say, "Go to building. Go inside." Okay, great... but how are you specifically getting inside? Are you going through the front door? The back door? Climbing through a window? Landing on the roof in a helicopter? Tunneling in through a basement wall? So, before you can actually start writing, you need to figure out the specific way you're getting your character into the scene. A good way to do this is to go to the first important thing that has to happen in the scene, then rewind from there. What is your character doing in the moments before that? What has to happen in order to put them into that place in that moment? Is there anything unique about the circumstances or location you can focus on? Try opening up some of the books on your shelves and look at the ways different chapters begin. It will start to give you ideas for how you can open your chapter.

Problem #2 - Not Inspired/Excited

Having your chapter outlined doesn’t mean is a good first step, but if you're not feeling motivated to actually write the chapter, it will harder to write it. Try doing some fun exercises to get yourself excited about the chapter. Do a mood board or playlist for the chapter. Save some character and setting inspiration photos on Pinterest. Do an interview with your character that takes place after the scene/chapter to get their take on what happened and what they feel about it.

Problem #3 - Something Isn’t Working

Stories are like a house of cards in that one misplaced “card” can bring the whole thing crashing down. Sometimes you lose interest because an earlier element or event didn’t quite work. You can feel in your gut that something’s not right, so your brain interprets that as losing motivation. It’s not really that you’ve lost interest in the story… it’s that you’ve lost interest in the dead end path it’s on. Go back to the previous chapter or two and look for something that’s not pulling its weight. It could be an unnecessary character dragging the story down, a subplot that is cluttering up the story or drawing attention away from the main plot, or a scene/scenes that don’t add to the story. It could even be a combination of these things. If you can find it and fix it, your motivation may return.

Problem #4 - You’re Distracted by Other Things

If you sit down to write and you’re busy scrolling through facebook, texting with friends, and singing to the radio, you’re probably not going to get much done. Try blocking out thirty minutes (or whatever amount of time you can afford) and dedicate it entirely to writing. Shut down social media and other tempting apps/sites. Turn off the TV. Put your phone on silent. Tell housemates not to bother you. Put on soft music without lyrics, and focus solely on writing. If you find your mind starting to wander toward other things, yank it back and focus on your story.

Problem #5 - You’re Lacking the Physical/Mental Energy to Write

Whether you’re sick, not getting enough sleep, super busy, depressed, or in a bad mood, not having physical or mental energy can make it hard to write. Do what you can to bring your energy up as much as possible, both physically and mentally, and you may have an easier time writing that chapter.

I hope something here will work for you!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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summerlinenss · 10 months ago

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out of curiosity, if Max doesn’t release its metrics, then what metrics are you actually using to make these statements about the show’s popularity? what does “it’s currently in the 99.7th percentile of the comedy genre, meaning it’s in higher demand than 99.7% of all comedy series in the u.s.” even mean? How are you measuring what’s “in demand” - by who? Where? It’s bold to claim that this show was wildly popular (despite the fact that I never hear about it outside of tumblr, tho that’s a personal anecdote) but cancelled just for being queer, so I would be really interested to know where you’re getting all these numbers from. Thanks!

hey anon! first of all i am so sorry for the delayed response. i started typing something up and then i got distracted with something else and totally forgot about this in my drafts.

sure, i have no problem citing sources. i probably should’ve linked some in my original post, that’s absolutely fair.

this ended up way longer than i planned so bear with me, but a quick overview of what i’ll be going over:

1) what are the stats/where did they come from?

2) how is the show so popular?

3) was it really cancelled for being queer?

(also just a disclaimer that this will contain spoilers for the show)

1) first, the numbers

you’re right that hbo doesn’t release metrics to the public. in fact, ceo casey bloys tried to justify the cancellation to the hollywood reporter by saying “the numbers weren’t there,” despite refusing to say what exactly those numbers were or where they came from.

however, there are websites dedicated to researching/analyzing the data of different media. one of those is parrot analytics, who focus on industry insights like audience demand, competitive analysis, and content valuations. they’re trusted as a reliable source by forbes, the new york times, reuters, the wall street journal, and more.

this is what we can learn from them about our flag means death from a basic google search (note that all of this data is relevant to the last 30 days as of january 26 2024):

audience demand for our flag means death is now 33.6x greater than the average tv series in the united states. as explained in the “about demand distribution” section, this means it’s one of only 0.2% of all u.s. shows to fall in the “exceptional” performance range compared to the “average” demand benchmark of 64.1%.

the change in demand for ofmd in the u.s. has increased by 7.5% compared to the average tv series.

ofmd now actually ranks at the 99.8th percentile in the comedy genre in the u.s. i’m not a math person, but in basic terms, this is like a scale of measuring and comparing performances to create an average score. essentially, ofmd is performing at the very top of all comedy series in the u.s.

ofmd has 100% home market travelability. as it says above, the market of origin is always 100%, so in fairness i included the graph of international markets for comparison. some of these aren't super high, however (as explained by parrot analytics themselves) one of the key issues with the international market is accessibility to content, which has been an ongoing struggle for international fans. many people (i guess fittingly) have resorted to pirating ofmd because they don’t have access to max or affiliate streaming services in their country.

there are more stats i could have and wanted to go more in-depth into but it would make this even longer than it already is, so i’ll just leave some links you can check out if you’re interested and move on:

• comparison of ofmd's success to shows like ted lasso, euphoria, and peacemaker

• ofmd's placement as #1 most in-demand breakout series in the u.s. for 8 weeks

• ofmd's impressive 94% critics score and 95% audience score on rotten tomatoes

• how ofmd evolved from sleeper hit to a flagship series at max

• a list of ofmd's past and present award nominations/wins

• praise and recognition from news/entertainment sites: the atlantic (2022); the new york times (2023); tv guide (2023); vulture (2023); forbes (2023); the los angeles times (2022); vanity fair (2023)

2) so why haven’t you (or others) really heard of the show outside of tumblr despite all this success? likely because max did a terrible job marketing it.

ofmd first aired on hbo max (pre-merger before it was “max”) in march 2022. the entire season aired over one month, every thursday at 12am pst. season 2 followed a similar release schedule in october 2023.

season 1’s marketing was almost non-existent, pretty much relying on taika waititi’s name being attached. there was one teaser and one full-length trailer, as well as a few clips on youtube of taika and rhys darby answering pirate-themed trivia, all painting the show as a “silly pirate workplace/buddy comedy.” but hbo max didn’t put any real effort in because they didn’t care. david zaslav and the other higher-ups had no faith in the show and expected it to fail.

most people weren’t aware it was actually a romance due to the poor marketing, and although there were many romantically charged scenes between them, many were still wary to believe it wasn’t queerbaiting until ed & stede confessed their feelings and kissed.

showrunner david jenkins has said in interviews that he had no idea how deeply queerbaiting had hurt audiences and impacted their ability to trust what’s on screen without feeling like they’re being ridiculed, despite the fact that he was calling it a love story the whole time. it wasn’t until people realized they weren’t being queerbaited and that it was a funny, sincere show with a compelling plot that word-of-mouth began to spread. by the time the season 1 finale aired, there was a decent-sized fandom that continued to grow as it received more praise.

it was a fight to even get the show renewed for season 2, and david jenkins and the cast have majorly credited that renewal to the unexpected and massive fan response to the show, which basically forced hbo’s hand.

max didn’t bother trying to properly promote the series until season 2, when they begrudgingly accepted that it was one of their most profitable and successful shows. ofmd had huge billboards in times square, downtown los angeles, and on the side of hbo headquarters. they started accurately marketing the show as not just a workplace comedy at sea, but a heartfelt romcom. max began selling long-demanded merch (which became best sellers) and spent money on an FYC campaign.

i will emphasize, whether they liked it or not, they knew ofmd was their new moneymaker (especially with the recent end of succession, which was obviously a cash cow for hbo).

photo credit: @/bookishtheo

3) now if it was that successful, was it really cancelled just for being queer?

i mean, i can’t say that definitively. no one can. there are several potential factors at play that we may never know, and there have been a lot of rumours and speculation (many of which i don’t feel comfortable discussing in case they aren’t true) since the cancellation.

but do i believe the fact that it’s a queer romcom was one of those factors, especially since max has a history of cancelling and scrapping its most diverse projects? absolutely.

first and foremost, i can’t stress enough that this isn’t just a show with a few characters thrown in for token representation. ofmd is built on a diverse, intersectional cast and narratives, including:

• lgbtq+ representation: 5 main couples are explicitly queer (including mlm, wlw, nblm, and nblw relationships). multiple characters are implied to be poly, and there’s a polycule forming in season 2 that was hinted to be developed more in season 3. beyond relationships, it’s confirmed that (similarly to the way wwdits depicts all vampires as being pansexual) all of the pirates are somewhere on the queer spectrum.

• bipoc representation: the majority of the main cast are people of colour. this includes david fane, joel fry, leslie jones, samson kayo, vico ortiz, anapela polataivao, madeleine sami, samba schutte, ruibo qian, and taika waititi, as well as many guest actors (like rachel house, simone kessell, and maaka pohatu) and extras.

• disability representation: multiple characters have physical disabilities, most notably amputated/prosthetic limbs and visual impairment. a lot (actually most) of the characters also deal with mental health issues, particularly coping with severe trauma and suicidal ideation/behaviour.

• the show has been praised for addressing difficult and serious themes like toxic masculinity, colonialism, and self-discovery, all while still managing to be a witty comedy and not come across as “preachy.”

• the diversity also extends off-screen, with a team of directors, writers, and additional crew comprised of numerous bipoc, women, queer people, and trans/non-binary people.

my point isn’t just the quantity of representation, but the quality. they take great care and respect into every marginalized group depicted on-screen. the actors would often be consulted about their characters’ costumes, hair, tattoos, and the kind of language they use. it’s not a world where discrimination magically doesn’t exist, they just have zero tolerance for it. if a character does something homophobic or racist, you can guarantee they’ll quickly (and often violently) be punished.

so okay, sure, it’s got great representation. what does that have to do max cancelling it?

because they’ve been interfering with production from the start.

i already mentioned the marketing issues so i won’t get into that. it was also revealed in interviews with david jenkins after season 2 that hbo cut their budget by 40%, which is why they had to do everything they could to save money. this included letting go of some of the original cast (and even still having episodes where some of them don’t appear at all) and moving the entire production to AoNZ. the budget cuts also meant two less episodes, so they had to rush to fit an entire season’s worth of plot into eight half-hour long episodes.

but one of the biggest frustrations is hbo’s (alleged) censorship of the show. samba schutte revealed that the entire plot of episode 2x06 was completely different in the original script. before it was rewritten as “calypso’s birthday,” the episode took place during lucius & pete’s wedding and focused on the crew getting sick of the sexual tension between ed & stede and trying to get them to hook up (this aligned with lucius & pete getting engaged and ed & stede deciding to take things slow in the previous episode).

vico ortiz and writer jes tom have also commented that many scenes between jim, oluwande, and archie establishing them as a polycule were cut, including one of the three of them emerging from a bedroom in their underwear. jes has mentioned other elements of season 2 that had to be cut out or rewritten, like the implication of other poly dynamics between the crew and more sexually explicit scenarios and jokes.

considering that ofmd is an extremely sex-positive show that isn’t afraid to be raunchy or taboo, it’s clear that either higher-ups at hbo forced them to cut these things out or they had no choice but to cut them out due to tight budget/time restraints.

in addition to this, a recent article citing an “anonymous insider” has alleged that hbo was uncomfortable with and was unsure how to market the “shock violence” in the show (the same network that aired game of thrones), which david jenkins outright called out as being bullshit. ofmd is rated TV-MA and the posters and trailers all show the audience that it contains violent content. there is literally nothing more graphic in ofmd than any other pirate show — it’s probably a lot tamer than most of them, actually.

violence on the show is most frequently used in a comedic context, in the sense that it’s not meant to be seen as scary or taken seriously. the few instances of serious graphic imagery on the show are meant to invoke a mood shift, like ed’s transformation into the kraken or ned low’s murder. it should also be noted that some of the most graphic deaths are reserved for bigots, like ed snapping the neck of a colonizer who was ridiculing stede’s love letter.

it’s also most often used in a sexual context — not sexual violence, but violence as a sexual metaphor. more specifically the act of stabbing as a metaphor for penetration, as seen with both ed & stede and anne & mary. bearing all this in mind, it seems like the real issue here isn’t executives struggling to market explicit violence to a mainstream audience, but rather explicit gay content.

as much as we joke and affectionately call it the “gay pirate show,” ofmd has always been nothing more than an opportunity for rainbow capitalism for hbo (e.g. the fact that they waited three months to announce season 2 just so they could do it on the first day of pride month). like other cancelled queer media, ofmd was a way for hbo executives to show how “inclusive” and “accepting” they are when it was convenient (aka profitable) for them, but they never actually respected the show or us as a community.

it’s impossible to be certain of what the exact reasoning for cancellation was, especially when they won’t give us a clear answer themselves. and maybe it had nothing to do with ofmd being a queer romcom at all. maybe that’s all a horrible coincidence. but for hbo/max to axe a critically acclaimed and beautifully inclusive show that’s successful by every metric, with an extremely devoted fanbase, especially after casey bloys just had the nerve to ask “gay twitter” to hype up the gilded age? it doesn’t exactly put them in the best light regardless.

in summary, i’ll leave you with this editorial, which details how the campaign to save ofmd isn’t just about one show, but a fight to save the future of all queer art.

#asks #anon #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #renew as a crew #fuck david zaslav #queer media

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klikandtuna · 4 months ago

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Keeping one arm firmly around Azekiel, Crowley reached out, touched the solid wall just beside the light, and gave it a little push…

Sky Clear Blue chapter 7, “You Have To Believe,” has been posted!

This illustration was FAR too ambitious a concept for the couple of hours available to me, but I like it 😄 Come get caught up and find out what’s going on!

(With extra thanks, as always, to @suzypfonne for the level of beta-reading that makes me excited to get critiqued, and to @sparklyshinymagpie for tireless dedication to the proper coding of social-media conversations, even if it takes some Frankensteining 💛💛

#good omens #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #digital art #fanart #good omens fanart #ao3 fanfic #good omens fandom #good omens fic #good omens au #good omens art #good omens fanfiction #ineffable idiots #accidental time travel

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officialjanetweiss · 27 days ago

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List 8 tv shows for your followers to get to know you.

Tagged by @nero-neptune

OOPS I was tagged in this like a year ago and am just getting around to posting it 😅 I’m the queen of starting these and then saving them to my drafts to finish later and then just abandoning them. ANYWAY

(I, too, am giving a lil blurb for each one bc I love to talk)

Desperate Housewives

I started watching it a couple weeks ago finished it in the spring and I love one (1) republican. I am now slowly thrifting all of the seasons on DVD

My mom watched it when it first aired and I never sat down and joined her but I remember catching glimpses. As an adult I knew I would love it before I even started and I was right! It has WOMEN. It’s outrageous. It’s hilarious. It’s addicting. The theme song is glorious!! Almost every episode title is a reference to a Sondheim song!!! It has (mostly) aged surprisingly well. And in general it just reminds me of a time before streaming when TV was…different. Idk how to put it into words but first of all, remember when shows had 20+ episodes per season? Never forget what they took from us.

Glee

IYKYK. Any “old” songs I know I know because of either Glee or Rockband. Jayma Mays was my awakening. It introduced me to Rocky Horror and many other musicals. It got me into media literacy/critique and was the first show that I anticipated every single week and the first show I gave up on before it ended. I could go on for ages but you just had to be there (my tumblr from 2012-2015).

Passions

I watched this with my mom as a little kid and am slowly rewatching now. Soap operas are a staple on her side of the family and Passions is the only one I ever got into, because I was like 4 and there was ✨magic✨. As an adult I’m not even really into fantasy but in this case it works for me bc it’s so balls to the wall insane. I definitely don’t think I could get into it today if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia. It ran for almost 10 years, which is not long considering some soaps are still kicking after 50 or 60. But at 2,231 episodes it’s a LOT if you’re not used to the slow pacing of the soap opera format. It’s so special to me though. I have cat and baby names picked out bc of characters on this show. AND THE THEME SONG!!

Soap

My all time fave. For 10 years I have run the only tumblr blog dedicated to Soap. It’s hilarious and touching and was ahead of its time. Susan Harris is a genius. Fleabag falling in love with a priest? Susan Harris did it first. That lady on Days of Our Lives being possessed? Susan Harris did it first. Who shot JR? Susan Harris did it first. The Golden Girls sitting at a table eating dessert and talking about sex? Susan Harris did that but she also did it BEFORE SHE DID IT. I’ve rewatched this show so many times and there are still scenes that make me laugh out loud. I would die for Jessica Tate. Bury me with the boxset.

That Girl

Just started watching this (in real time, not a year ago) and it’s just so fun!! Marlo Thomas is a cutie. Her wardrobe is unreal. I’ve laughed out loud quite a few times. She has great chemistry with the leading man whose actor’s name I shan’t bother to look up. I feel like I started watching it at the perfect time in my life too.

Ann Marie 🤝🏼 Cute little aspiring actresses who just moved out on their own to the big city and don’t have sex 🤝🏼 Me

Trial & Error

Came for Jayma, stayed for everything. Last year I watched Arrested Development for the first time and if you like that show I think you’ll like Trial & Error. Mockumentary style, wacky characters, great running gags. It was gone too soon and I’m still waiting for a season 2 DVD release.

Out of the Box

Here’s a throwback bc who am I if I don’t put a kids show on the list? I loved this show when I was little. It’s so underrated. I showed it to my current babysitting kids when I first started watching them and they love it too :,) Watching it as an adult makes me so emotional idk why. It warms my heart. If I were to ever become a preschool teacher I would make the babies sing the ending song at their graduation and make their parents cryyyy. If you have little guys in your life you should show it to them. It’s on Disney + (eewwww) but there might be episodes on youtube too.

Instead of blabbing about an 8th show here are some runner ups that I’ve enjoyed over the years, some of which I think are v underrated: Tuca & Bertie, Girlfriends, Mum (BBC, not to be confused with Mom, which I also enjoy), Fleabag, Go On, Jane the Virgin, Wonderfalls, Masters of Sex (might be due for a rewatch of that one), The Fosters (fuck them kids tho), Pushing Daisies, One Mississippi

I tag @lifesizehysteria @cakesexuality @sic-transit-gloria-mea and you can do it again @nero-neptune, I know you have more shows to talk about.

#dani said she writes too much and i said hold my beer

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everything-changes-once-again · 6 months ago

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Over the past several weeks, I wrote a dissertation boiling all of my research work over the past five years into a few succinct conclusions.

What I didn’t realize during those weeks was that in the background, my brain was processing another set of data. The data I’ve gathered in therapy about my mind and soul, lessons and discoveries about life and the future and the world and my role in trying to change it, over these same five years. It is a level of clarity and full honesty with myself that I've never experienced before, brought on in part by the total breakdown of mental walls that comes with writing 12 hours a day for several weeks.

And some of these realizations, I really liked. I have grown so much since starting grad school. Others, not so much. I’ve identified several patterns that I want to break and new ones that I want to take their place. And conveniently, I’m about to have at least a few weeks post-graduation where my only tasks are to find a job, and to exist. So, I’m going to use that time for a brain reset. I will try to actively rewire my brain by catching and halting these decade-old thought patterns and replacing them with new ones. Obviously, this is the point of therapy and what I've been trying to do the whole time. But I've never dedicated specific energy to it, never had time to, until now.

There are two key rules:

Eat food. Enough food, every day, for an entire year. No matter what the rest of my life brings. In the 10+ years I've bounced between recovery and relapse, I have never actually committed myself for a full year to giving food the attention that it deserves. In treatment in 2020, I didn't understand how long of a process it really is to change your brain. Now I have more respect for the reality that these things take time.

No quick dopamine hits and no numbing out. I've seen this described as a "dopamine detox." No social media scrolling, no mindless TV or podcasts or video games, no substances, no tools that I use specifically to block out my thoughts. I am going to retrain myself how to be bored and how to be alone with my mind and how to feel.

I’ve created an extensive list of other ways to generate dopamine without the quick hits and have summed them up into the themes of connection, novelty, community, and creating safety to be weird. This means reading fantasy books and letting myself acknowledge the way the make me feel. This means picking a coffee shop to become regular at, and then actually forcing myself to talk to the baristas and wave to familiar faces when I'm there. It means focusing on my values and figuring out what I really want to do with my life and how to best position myself in the world to make effective change.

It also means sitting with feelings that I've pushed down for a long time - that's the part I'm most afraid of, and I'm working to create structure in my life so I don't fall into a pit in my attempt to grow.

The duration of this project is unclear. The food part will last for a year, but the intense focus on rewiring my brain can only last as long as it takes to get a job. Then, we restructure the plan and we reassess. Because this is about flexibility. This is about recognizing that there is no “end” to growth. There may be another intense period like this someday, or there may just be a gradual shifting and re-touching as I fine-tune myself into the person I want to be.

This has been a long, long time coming. I have gathered so much information over the past five years. Now I am going to integrate it.

#still need a catchy tag for this project #for now we will stick with #summer2024 #long post #grad school

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disneybritton · 8 days ago

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HOUSE DIARY: OCTOBER 2024

Media room with a computer-generated rug.

Designing our guest room has been a puzzle. Last October, it was a dedicated space for occasional overnight visitors, like Teddy, but it’s usually 80% empty. So, this year, we turned it into a media room for year-round use with a sleeper sofa and four gallery walls. We love it!

#1/5 - Two Thieves, by Michael Cook on sofa gallery wall

#2/5 - Towering Books Wall. Nick Wooster installed World globe atop his shelves. We’ve installed artist plates atop our, from our collection.

#3/5 - TV Gallery Wall. The backdrop is the color drenched walls and ceiling, and soon a blue sofa bed (60%), a black/white carpet and pillow cases (30%), and the grey media console tables (10%).

#4/5 - Wall to Ceiling Gallery Wall.

#5/5. Sofa B&W Gallery Wall

#disbritthome #art collectors #art collection #disbrittcollection

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fandomsandfairytales · 1 month ago

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So tonight I watched my first ever Rings of Power episode.

Some brief background on my thoughts on/experiences with TROP: I haven't actually watched any of it, though I have read occasional articles on it and I've been in online spaces that are pro-TROP and anti-TROP. I'm kinda....neutral-TROP, leaning a little more negative, but I'm interested enough to read up on what's going on in the current season.

I've kept going back and forth on wanting to watch the show at all, mainly because I don't feel like dedicating the time to it. But tonight I was like "I kinda wanna watch something while eating dinner. Maybe TROP?" I didn't really want to watch the very first episode in season 1, because I'd been semi-keeping up with season 2 stuff, so I decided, why not watch the newest episode that literally came out today? So that's what I did. Here's my thoughts on 2x07—non-spoiler-y above the cut, and spoiler-y below.

Non-spoiler-y things:

My reactions were mainly lots and lots of tearing up and yelling at my TV screen. Not even in a "I dislike this" way, but a "I get easily emotional about media sometimes" way, lol.

Celebrimbor and Annatar's interactions were fantastically done. I kept yelling at Annatar XD it definitely gave me ideas for & validated stuff I was already thinking about for "but for the look in his eyes". Mwahahaha.

I enjoyed getting to see Elrond—he feels very young and it was cool to see him before the time of LOTR, when he is not yet seen as the wise lord of Rivendell.

General feelings about the episode: I liked it and was annoyed by it in turns. I think it was the best first episode I could've watched, because I already knew a fair amount of what was happening and it wasn't hard to pick up on.

Spoiler-y things (these are all over the place and really not in chronological order, lol):

Celebrimbor cutting off his thumb to get out of the chains!!! For a moment I really thought he was going to pull a Maedhros (really, a Fingon) and cut off his whole wrist. But then he only put his thumb under the metal cutter thingy and I also noticed it was his left hand

The soldiers and Mirdania had major "sure Grandpa, let's get you back to the nursing home" vibes when interacting with him

I really enjoyed watching Annatar and Celebrimbor's interactions. I'm sure some people read their relationship as Silvergifting, and I don't, but I still enjoyed it. Annatar's condescension to Celebrimbor! Annatar telling the people that Celebrimbor had gone insane when in actuality Celebrimbor didn't know anything was happening bc Annatar was hiding it from him! Annatar pulling the victim-blaming move of "you made me do this to you" and Celebrimbor going "no. nope. you're the Great Deceiver"! Celebrimbor breaking down over his city in flames and realizing he's been betrayed!!! So so good. I had fun yelling at Annatar (things like "SHUSH," "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT," "STOP IT" etc.)

Celebrimbor and Galadriel finding solace and understanding in each other getting manipulated by Sauron was sweet. Even though of course all of Galadriel's interactions with Halbrand in season 1 didn't happen in canon, I liked that it gave Galadriel and Celebrimbor something in common.

I hated/was genuinely upset at Annatar making those guys kill each other. Not on a basis of whether he could actually do that or not, but because there was a book I read with an evil villain who did mind control and that specific thing really reminded me of that.

The parallels to Helm's Deep, like with all the archers on the wall and the orcs breaching the wall and then the light coming over the hill, were kinda cheesy. I wanted to be more awe-inspired, but I just really....wasn't.

THE. KISS. I yelled at my TV for that. I was literally screaming "NO!!! THAT IS SO WRONG!!!!! THAT SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO UGH THAT IS SO WRONG"

And I was pretty sure it was for a specific reason, so Elrond could give Galadriel something to escape, and it was, but STILL. HE COULD HAVE JUST HUGGED HER AND SLIPPED HER THE PIN. SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, SHOW WRITERS

Celebrimbor said something along the lines of "I knew he would bring trouble" and I immediately started singing "I knew you were trouble when you walked in..." XD

And then when he said "I built this city," I sang, "We built this city on rock and roll"

It was cool getting to see the footage of Elrond fighting, because I remembered those clips from the trailer and being kinda excited over them

Durin's speech to the dwarves was pretty great. I enjoyed it

I also enjoyed his and Elrond's interactions!!! The way Durin called Elrond a flagpole made me laugh but also made me think of Celebrimbor's fate, being strung up on a pole like a banner

I liked the sort-of parallel to the Nirnaeth with the dwarves not coming (or not appearing to anyway) to help

All of The Silm name-drops and mentions!!!! I got excited over those. Melian as Elrond's ancestress (I squealed), Fëanor's hammer (loved that honestly), Morgoth, the Valar, Rúmil. Like, these names are being spoken on TV in the year of our Lord 2024 and yes this show is not canon-compliant but there's references to The Silm and I am eating them up

Galadriel looked younger than Elrond, which I thought could be a possibility because Morfydd Clark and Robert Aramayo appear roughly the same age, though it kinda irked me because she's his (future) mother-in-law. But somehow, when Galadriel was with Celebrimbor, even though he definitely looked older than her, she managed to convey a sense of wisdom and care that made sense as an aunt to his character.

I decided at the start of the episode that I'm not going to be upset about how old Celebrimbor looked compared to Elrond and Galadriel, because that ship has sailed, we are firmly in season 2, complaining about how anyone looks now is completely pointless. And also if I kind of...separate him from the younger cast, the comparison doesn't distract me. Charles Edwards is a good actor and he plays Celebrimbor well, so yeah.

Gil-Galad's voice was deeper than I expected. However, the good thing was that I didn't really have a picture in my head of him before TROP season 1 came out, so he kinda got established as "that's how he looked," and his voice was the only somewhat surprising thing about him to me.

I liked Gil-Galad and Elrond's armor.

I was rooting for Arondir.

Elrond: "You should not be here!" Me: "Yeah, why are you only showing up now? Lol"

Gil-Galad's following line about how a king should not stay back in a fight or whatever totally made me think of "A king is he who can hold his own" (Maedhros)

Adar's character still drives me crazy because who the heck is he??? this man (elf, orc, whatever) is not in canon unless he has a different name but UGH

The battles and CGI and stuff all felt....not fake exactly. But it felt very modern-day and somewhat cheap in the making, whereas the LOTR movies and even The Hobbit feel like there's so much more poured into it all. The design, the pacing/story beats, the depth. Even though there was a battle, and characters' lives were on the line, I didn't...feel a whole lot about that. (To be fair, I am jumping in after not seeing any of the rest of this show, and also I know Galadriel and Elrond are going to live. So there's that. But I've read reviews that have a similar perspective, so idk.)

I loved that Elrond got so upset about his horse being killed and fought harder bc of it. I thought there might actually be backstory about him and his horse that I'm not aware of, but even if it's just that he simply cares about animals and his horse was killed, I'm all for it.

The "put your backs into it, maggots!" or whatever the orc commander guys were yelling was VERY Lord of the Rings-movie esque. Also I kinda liked the parallel to the orcs expressing concerns to Saruman about the trees and stuff (with the orc guy questioning Adar about sacrificing orc lives to reach Sauron)

I don't remember who said this, but it was probably Adar: "Leave Sauron to me" made me remark "yeah, we've heard that before. From Saruman" (in The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies)

I didn't think about this until later, but the episode didn't have any advancements in the Harfoots or Numenoreans plotlines, and I'm perfectly fine with that

All in all: I'd say the episode was a 7/10. Maybe a 6.5/10 because of the kiss. As I mentioned at the start, I think it was the best first episode I could watch—yes, because I already had some context for most things, but also because there were pivotal points in this episode for plotlines that I liked. Annatar's corruption of Celebrimbor was realized, the war for Eregion fully under way, Elrond and Gil-Galad fought in the battle, Elrond and Durin talked, Celebrimbor and Galadriel talked. I got to see the characters and plotlines I was most interested in, and I genuinely enjoyed that. I might actually watch the next episode when it comes out, we'll see!

#Tolkien #TROP #The Rings of Power #live reaction #(sort of)#(pls nobody get mad I'm adding the Tolkien tag to this post it literally is just for my own tagging purposes)#TROP spoilers #The Rings of Power spoilers #The Rings of Power season 2 #The Rings of Power season 2 spoilers

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 1 year ago

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Wassily Kandinsky, ‘Untitled’ (1928) :: [Robert Scott Horton]

* * * *

Imogen Savage: Housed in a 19th-century listed mansion that stretches skyward into spires, the Grisebach auction house gives off the disquieting charm of a German fairytale castle. Outside runs Fasanenstrasse, a leafy street of galleries and skincare boutiques in one of Berlin’s chicest corners. On December 1 2022, Marcin Król, the Polish consul in Berlin, climbed the steps to the building for the evening sale beginning at 6pm. A number of impressive modern artworks were on offer, including a sought-after self-portrait in oil by Max Beckmann. But it was Lot No 31, “Untitled”, a little pink Wassily Kandinsky watercolour from 1928, that had Król’s attention that evening. Król was not at Grisebach as a buyer. Earlier that day he had sent the auction house a message demanding it stop the sale of the Kandinsky. In the hours since, representatives at Grisebach had reviewed the legal status of the artwork and its right to be sold by Inga Maren Otto, a German billionaire and philanthropist. Their decision was clear. They would proceed. At 4.40pm, Król took to Twitter, quoting the message he’d sent to Grisebach. “Withdraw[ing] the painting from the auction,” he wrote, “[was] the only correct and moral action in this situation . . . The provenance/history of the painting stated [in the catalogue] is clear . . . the painting has ownership markings indicating its origin from the National Museum in Warsaw. [It has been registered] from the Polish side in Interpol’s database of stolen works of art.” He finished the thread with an update: “The auction house has not yet stopped selling the work. As of 4.50pm.”

Król watched on a TV screen in the corner of an anteroom as the auction began. Lot No 31 eventually appeared on the screen. Flattened by the glowing pixels, the original aqueous colours took on neon tones. There was a faint scribble underneath in Kandinsky’s handwriting. After a flurry of bids, more than doubling the upper reserve price, the hammer came down. Afterwards, Król posted a photo to Twitter with a solemn summary of what he had witnessed. It read like both the beginning and the end of an art-crime story: “Grisebach sold Kandinsky’s watercolour [“Untitled”] for €310,000. The painting was stolen in 1984 from the National Museum in Warsaw.” Then the Berlin police showed up at the auction house, in response to a report of a stolen artwork being sold on the premises. Król’s message that day was, said Grisebach in a statement issued after the event, the first they’d learnt of the theft.

I heard about the auction of the Kandinsky watercolour some weeks later. I was intrigued by this little work on paper, the size of which is hard to gauge when viewed online. A cluster of geometric shapes and coloured washes not much bigger than a postcard, it’s not a famous piece and was never supposed to be. The personalised dedication at the bottom provides a clue as to its original, more intimate context. Through Król’s media offensive, I began to imagine the painting in its previous lives. A valued artwork can do this; move through history like a time traveller who has seen it all, changing hands, changing walls, changing in value, picking up a few marks and scuffs, but remaining, on the surface, itself. It’s easy to forget that many of the works of art we see today have somehow weathered revolutions, wars and genocide. During and after the second world war, art collections dispersed like breadcrumbs in the mouths of sparrows. Since that time, art dealers and auction houses have continued to sell these works, right up to the present day, with values soaring.

As I began to trace the Kandinsky’s journey, I discovered the story had deeper roots than even Król had imagined. The watercolour wasn’t stolen once but twice. Having survived the Nazi party’s confiscations of modern art in the 1930s, it languished in a depot in occupied Poland before travelling back and forth across the world via private and public sales as the lines between black market and art market blurred postwar. As the trail grew more convoluted, my questions multiplied. How was it possible, I wondered, that a piece of art that we know was once stolen from a major European museum could now be sold, perfectly legally, by an important German auction house? And who, in the chain of ownership spanning nearly a century, is the rightful owner of Lot No 31? In his Dessau studio in 1928, Wassily Kandinsky sat before a small sheet of thick paper. He drew in ink, a balance of precisely placed interlocking semicircles, triangles and floating circles, with a more irregular snakelike mark through the centre. Then he dragged his paintbrush across some watercolour pans, applying the colours to the interior of the shapes in blues, yellows and reds, and washing the surround in pink. The watery paint pooled in different areas, variegating the intensity of the colour where it settled. Then it dried, locking the painting into position. At the bottom, in pencil, the artist wrote: “Meinem lieben Otto Ralfs, herzlichsten Glückwunsch, Kandinsky I IV 28” [“To my dear Otto Ralfs, Happy Birthday, Kandinsky, 1 April 28”]. It was a gift, made for his friend and patron on the occasion of his 36th birthday. Kandinsky’s studio was in a row of identical semi-detached houses located in a pine forest at the edge of town, where artist-professors lived and worked. This was the vision of Walter Gropius, founder of the influential modernist art and design school the Bauhaus, who designed the Dessau “Masters’ Houses” in 1925 to fit his concept of gesamtkunstwerk, or total artwork. Kandinsky lived at No 6, next door to the Swiss-German artist Paul Klee. The day I visited earlier this summer, the sunny weather was heating the pines, filling the air with the same calm, sweet smell that Kandinsky, then in his late fifties, and the younger Klee would have breathed as they sat drinking tea together in the garden.

Inside, the thick, shiny paint was fresh from recent restoration work, distracting the senses from conjuring their presence. The artists’ studios, the largest rooms in their carefully designed houses, shared a wall. From the front, an enormous horizontal window frames the central focus of the house, the parallel studios in which they worked, taught and held salons: Kandinsky on the left, Klee on the right. Otto Ralfs and his wife Käte bought their first works by Klee when they visited the Bauhaus in Weimar in September 1923. After that, their lives changed completely. The couple didn’t have a lot of money. He worked as an insurance salesman and owned a shop in his hometown, Braunschweig, in northern Germany. She was a paediatric nurse. But they were among the first people to see the value in the art being produced at the Bauhaus. At one point, they had the largest collection of Klees, and the second-largest collection of Kandinskys after Solomon R Guggenheim.

[Financial Times]

#Wasilly Kandinsky #Guggenheim #about art

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muraski-yume · 9 months ago

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1/31 Mobile Suit Gundam and Lamarre's Introduction

I don't particularly watch a lot of anime but the first thing that struck me about Gundam was the art style. Having been originally released in 1979 there is this sort of ironic dichotomy between this futurist high tech plot and the more simplistic animation style similar to Astro Boy. I really enjoyed the style as it felt very nostalgic for me. With CGI and animation techniques getting ever more advanced, seeing media like this is rare anymore. It felt like I was watching a combination of Transformers, Pacific Rim Uprising, and Wall-E, all of which this anime predates. It also reminded me a lot of Ender's Game, with Amuro having to leap into action to protect everyone. I think in general this kind of narrative of an unlikely hero rising to the occasion resonates alot with people because they can imagine themselves as similarly heroic. I also liked the soldiers from the other side returning to drop supplies for the mother and her child. This kind of show of good will even in the midst of a battle made the story more multi-dimensional.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------As for Lamarre's work, I really liked the point he made about how despite anime's comparatively "low tech" nature the "dynamicisim of interactions that arise between viewers and animations makes for the novelty of anime". This is particularly evident by how prolific anime is. There are whole conventions dedicated to it, fan art, cosplay, whole communities of people devoted to a character or story line. The most well informed comparison I can make is with America TV shows. The content feels very superficial and is hard to engage with meaningfully. Whereas the art style and story telling techniques of anime draws viewers in and makes them deeply invested in the content.

#mobile suit gundam #anime

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zebee-nyx · 1 year ago

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CalmWriMo Day 27

[11/27/2023]

Update!

Half of my sleep felt more like half awake tv static than blank screen [as it should be] last night. So brain=hemorrhaging braincells this eve. ('>v<) Anywho, wasn't a busy day at work today and I managed to get some good progress on the things today. Which among the things is today's blurb! Which came out pretty well, if I do say so myself. And I do say so! (>v<) [y'see that? there it goes... my last braincell lol]

Progress:

2 Hour Writing Goal: ✅

Blurb: [see below]

Self Care:

Food: ✅

Hydration: ❌ [whoops, forgot the translucent life sustaining fluid exists (0^0) was a bit too zoned]

Sleep: ❌

Reading: ✅

Blurb: Housing / Architecture

Holdouts

Rarely scattered across the Undercity. They are usually single or two story brick buildings that were once homes or businesses before the Great Collapse. Now they exist as relics of the past buried under the unregulated construction of the Undercity. Usually found in back alleys as oddities and landmarks. Some of them still have windows, although whether or not they were shattered varies.

Undercity Prefab Apartments

There are two primary types of prefabricated apartments in the Undercity. The first takes it's metabolist inspiration to the greatest extreme with modular capsule rooms. Each capsule is a simple empty box roughly 8ft by 12ft in size. These are the most common, being brought in with aircranes and installed onto, well basically anywhere that it won't immediately collapse. While they all have the same basic set up, the use of space varies greatly between occupants. The second type is somewhat larger with two rooms, a mixed living area and a private bathroom. These are manufactured in several parts that can easily be transported either by a aircrane or truck to site before being assembled on location. The basic interiors are more diverse with optional bed inlets and built in vending machines among other things. They also have a few different layouts that honestly just shifts where the bathroom divides the other spaces. While water isn't necessarily a rarity, decent working plumbing often is. As such about half of these apartment bathrooms in service work more as storage closets than anything else. Due to the chaotic nature of the Undercity it isn't uncommon for walls to be cut open across several apartments to better serve the needs of small local businesses, bunkhouses, or anything else people decide to build. Also it isn't uncommon for completely random structures to be made between prefabricated buildings out of whatever scrap happens to be available. Random pipes and cables running along the walls or roofs of hallways leading towards more in-structure apartments is normal. Rooms along alleys or streets usually get their utilities directly through the wall.

Midcity Apartments

Like the Undercity most of the Midcity's apartments, at least above the first few stories, are prefabricated. However, in the Midcity they usually are larger and have a more comfortable living spaces and at least one distinct bedroom. Typically the basic utilities are better maintained allowing more access to operational bathrooms, kitchens, and stationary entertainment such as televisions. Apartments in the Midcity are often built atop old retrofitted buildings that are mostly street level shops, restaurants, or other businesses.

Uppercity Luxury Apartments

The luxury apartments of the Uppercity is about what one would expect. Spacious interiors high above the rest of the city with staff or security at the simple press of a button. Usually there is one wall that has a dedicated wide screen that can simulate a curated view of the city, nature environments, or even play video media within smaller windows. Unlike nearly anywhere else in the city apartments in the Uppercity have real wooden floors. It also isn't rare for there to be a potted plant or small garden in the apartment to truly express the tenant's wealth. Amenities such as a spa, pool, and gym are usually only a brief elevator ride away. While some are equipped with kitchens for those who prefer to cook for themselves or have a personal chef, most apartments are simply equipped with an advanced vending machine that can be programmed to prepare most meals. Beyond that the only limits is the tenant's desires and space available. The result is often limited to clean modern looking spaces, however the more eccentric individuals tend to have truly unique homes. Somewhat ironically the exteriors of the majority of these buildings contrast greatly with the interiors as they often appear as little more than massive minimally featured blocks. That is aside from prime street level viewing space of these skyscrapers which are of course covered with the colorful glowing lights of advertising and art.

[Technically there is also nomad buildings, but basically just glorified rvs made literal "mobile" homes. Which may end up time’s blurb if I don’t think of anything else... Also junkyards architecture which is, well, basically garbage slapped together into shacks. ('^.^) So, uh... Anyways and always, hope that you had a lovely day, peace (ZvZ)v]

#writeblr #writing #writing community #worldbuilding #cyberpunk #calmwrimo #digitally dead #nanowrimo

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mollymagician · 1 year ago

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I actually finished the second chapter of my weird little street artist!Dream AU

I am so proud of myself. Like, so proud, guys.

*************************

A week passed. Slowly the sunflowers faded from the New Inn’s bricks, distorted and worn away by rain and curious fingers.

Hob had spent a good amount of time scrolling through the various social media accounts run by enthusiasts dedicated to cataloging Dream’s work and any bits of personal information that they could gather about the artist in question, which was: nothing. Zero.

Well, aside from one blogger who claimed to have seen a shadowy figure lurking around one of the murals at two in the morning and described them as…tall.

Yes, tall, Hob thought. Legs for days. And the hair’s got to add at least two inches.

Matthew was right, he had been out of touch lately, but this sort of thing wasn’t normally in his wheelhouse anyway. He appreciated art and what it meant to the world but he had enough personal artistic ability to fill the tip of his pinky finger. Literally. He’d broken the ice with more than one tough group of students by illustrating his lecture on the fly with horribly drawn graphs and chaotic stick figures. Still, he could recognize talent when he saw it.

He had a few favorites saved on his phone. On the side of a building just off Richmond Green, an expanse of blue and white, shot through with swirling figures in every earthy shade—children, it took Hob a moment to realize. Children running against a vibrant blue sky. Tucked just out of sight of the bustling crowds at the Tower of London was a flowing mass of sunset hues shot through with streaking dark figures that could only be ravens.

On the side of the old derelict White Horse Tavern, where Hob had spent a good chunk of his youth faffing about with his mates, a white figure leaping against emerald green, rampaging, like it had escaped it’s hill in Uffington and didn’t plan on being caught again.

The talent was obvious…but that wasn’t all it was. Hob remembered reading a line somewhere—it’s not what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse IS. It’s what they all were, these weird works of art, weren’t they? Things distilled down to the essence. Yes, the artwork was arresting. Yes, the man who made it was just as striking. But Hob couldn’t explain the feeling that there was something there beyond what he was seeing, like a magic eye painting with a third hidden layer, and just as frustrating.

Or maybe month and a half into his sabbatical from what he jokingly referred to as his ‘side hustle’ was long enough for his brain to be going a little stir-crazy.

Then one morning, it happened again.

“Woah,” Matthew said. “That sure is…something.”

They stood staring at the new mural spanning the Inn’s northern wall. Radiating tongues of yellow and orange emerging from a peculiar dark background. The wall was smooth here, and the image had less of the feel of stained-glass and instead was a tumult of swirling line and color.

“I can’t tell if this means you shouldn’t take any more flirting advice from me, or my flirting advice is 100% on point.”

Hob slanted him a look. “I didn’t take any flirting advice from you, if it makes you feel better,” he said.

“That’s probably your best bet, actually.”

“Even if I had, I don’t think he’d threaten to burn down the place because I used the worlds worst pickup line on him.” Hob stepped up to the wall, reaching up to trace the shape of the image carefully without touching the easily-smeared strokes. “Look, here. The way the light curves here…the mantle. It’s a—a hearth, a fireplace. Like the one back in the old White Horse. See?”

“Oh,” Matthew said. “Huh.”

This strange offering was on a side of the building hidden mostly from public view, between the glorified storage crate they called Dar’s Gardening Shed and a stacked pile of unused planters. He didn’t think there’d be any gawkers this time, Hob himself had only happened upon it that morning by chance. Of course, Dream seemed to favor out-of-the-way locations, were there were swaths of empty wall and not many observers around to interfere. But this felt different. This felt…personal.

As Matthew lifted his phone to snap a shot, Hob said, “Hey. Uh. Maybe don’t post this one.”

“What?” he squawked. “It’s free advertising, dude. Why not?” At Matthews perplexed look, Hob could only shrug.

He didn’t have to wait long for it to click “Oooohhh. I see.”

“Matt.”

“Aww.” Matthew followed him back around the front of the building and through the main entrance. For all he looked broad and soft-edged, once he latched his brain on something, he was relentless. It was like being pecked to death by ducks. Pecked to death by something, anyway. “Oh come on, man, it’s adorable.”

“Matthew, zip it.” Hob ducked past the bar, hoping he could make a quick exit into the kitchen. This wasn’t a conversation they could have out here, not if he wanted his dignity intact. Any moment now—

“Not that I’m not a fan of anyone telling Matt to zip it, but why are we telling Matt to zip it this time in particular?”

Hob sighed. Too late, he was doomed.

Dar’s russet head poked through the kitchen doors, followed by the rest of her, busily tying on an apron. They’d just opened for the day and only a few regulars had so far trickled in, at least, which meant there would be minimal witnesses to what he was about to endure.

“Our resident mysterious artist left him a token of affection on the wall in the alley and he wants to keep it all to himself.”

“Ooh!” Dar said brightly. “Tall Dark and Spooky strikes again!?” Matthew handed her his phone where the photo of the yellow and gold flames swirled in miniature. She gave a little whistle. “Oh my!”

Hob dragged a hand over his face. “It’s not a token of affection.”

“Wanna bet?” Matthew pulled out his wallet and waggled it. “Bet you ten bucks. Pounds. Whatever. Shit. What country am I in?”

“—and he’s not our mysterious artist,” Hob continued, undeterred.

“He’s decorating your pub and he likes my tea,” Dar said decisively. “That means he’s ours. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Actually I’m pretty sure most of the time you do.”

Hob wondered if noon really was too early to start drinking.

“I’m sure he’d be fine with the attention,” Matthew said, “considering that he’s dropping this stuff all over town.”

“No one knows anything about this dude, Matt,” Hob argued. But. You do, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind. You know how he likes his tea, you know his hands look cold, you know his eyes are the bluest thing you’ve ever seen— Hob shook it off and plucked the phone from Dar’s hand, closing the screen and poking it back into the front pocket of Matthew’s shirt. “You didn’t see the look he gave me last time he was here. Maybe he doesn’t actually want any kind of attention at all.”

“Well,” Dar said, flipping a dishtowel over one shoulder. “I can guess at least one type of attention he wants.” She looked past Hob and jutted her chin towards the door. Slowly, trying to be nonchalant and failing, Hob turned to glance behind him.

…you know his eyes are the bluest thing you’ve ever seen and he keeps looking at you with them…

Dream edged in through the door of the pub, cautiously, and headed straight for his usual table. He moved, Hob thought, as though the space around him was packed with rickety shelves covered in teacups. Slow and precise. Or, as Matthew would say, like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. As soon as his eyes met Hob’s he glanced quickly away and busied himself with pulling the ever-present sketch book from his satchel.

“WELP I should be—“

“Oh look, I’m just gonna head—“

Hob watched in resigned amusement as Matthew and Dar both suddenly discovered they had somewhere else to be and nearly ran into each other trying to get there. He sighed, and set about making a cup of tea.

He didn’t know what possessed him, this time, to make a second. Or to sit down, easy as you please in the chair across from his stranger, as though they had a standing date. Maybe a little of his old confidence was coming back from wherever it had been banished to over this past exceptionally shitty year.

Dream, who had been very studiously ignoring him for the last five minutes, actually gave a startled jump when a mug appeared in front of him, followed by a whole other human. He watched Hob with an expression of guarded surprise as he settled into his seat, cleared his throat, and extended a hand across the table. “Robert Gadling. I, er, hope you don’t mind me being wildly presumptuous.” To his delight, Dream reached out, slowly as though he was expecting to be bitten, and met his hand. His grip was firm, but cold. Hob resisted the sudden fierce urge to take his hands and wrap them around the mug of tea he’d just set down.

“I don’t mind, Mr. Gadling. I. Was.” He looked down at the blank page open in front of him, seemingly at a loss for words.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you,” Hob said. “I just wanted to come over and thank you, I suppose.”

Dreams eyebrows crept up. “Thank me?”

“For the—“ Hob gestured over Dream’s shoulder. “Artwork. It’s remarkable, really.”

Dream opened his mouth to speak, closed it. Tried again. “You don’t mind,” he finally stated, not quite a question.

Hob huffed a laugh. “Do I—? No I don’t mind at all. It’s brilliant. I needed something to brighten up this bastard of a winter and you’ve done a spectacular job of it.” Dream glanced away with what appeared to be a blush coloring his worryingly pale face. “I just had one question, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No. Please.”

“Why us?”

Dreams head tipped questioningly to one side and Hob hastened on. “I wondered how you choose your…locations. There’s always some inspiration, isn’t there? Was just curious what it was about this old place that inspired you twice.”

Dream stared at him for a moment, a parade of emotions flickering across his face so quickly, it was impossible to parse them. His eyes dropped back to the table. “I came by chance. I was out looking for. Inspiration, as you said, I suppose.” He spoke like someone who hadn’t in so long that he’d lost the knack, Hob thought. A crying shame, with that voice. “I saw you, and your employees. Laughing together. Often. I was…interested in your experience.”

“Friends,” Hob said. Dreams eyes flicked up to meet his briefly and he smiled. “I inherited the place. Been in the family for generations. Doesn’t really feel like mine, you know? It belongs to the community at this point, I’m just here to keep the paperwork in order. Knew I’d be taking it over one day, but if I didn’t have friends helping me out here who knew what they were doing I’d have made a complete mess of it.” Hob realized he was prattling on, as he was wont to do, and took a gulp of tea in an effort to rein in his mouth. “I’m sorry. You said you were interested in our…experience?”

Hob watched Dream move his fingertips over the surface of the blank sketchbook page, producing a gentle rhythmic susurrus. “Yes…I…have had precious few of my own. I find inspiration in watching other’s appreciation for life and this place…there’s so much life to appreciate here.” Oh. He was blushing. It was fucking delightful. “I hope you don’t find that. Intrusive.”

“Of course not,” he said. “It’s literally what we’re here for.”

Dream said, “You were very kind, Mr. Gadling. The last time we spoke. It was…it’s own kind of inspiration.”

Ohhhh dear. Oh good grief. He was in trouble. Hob had no idea what his face was doing. He couldn’t even imagine. He coughed to clear the sudden tightness in his throat. “Call me Hob,” he said. “Everyone else does. No one uses my proper name unless I’m in trouble for something.”

“Hob.” Dream said. His mouth curved into the smallest of smiles. Something in Hob’s gut gave a little delighted jump and warmth bloomed, down beneath his breastbone. “My name—is—“ He paused and swallowed. Hob could see him battling forward through something, some wall, and had the irrational urge to cheer for him. “Dream” he finally managed. “You may call me Dream.”

The warmth in Hob’s belly grew, filling his chest. Knowing the name was nothing compared to being gifted the name. “Well, Dream, you’re welcome to come back anytime. Avail yourself of the blank wall space.” Hob grinned, hopeful. “And the experience.”

Dream was silent for a moment, then took a quiet breath. “The tea is also very good.”

It startled a laugh out of Hob. “That’s Dar’s doing, she blends it. Grows some of the herbs herself out there in the spring. She’s got a terrific hangover remedy if you ever need it.”

“I don’t often drink alcohol but I will keep that in mind.”

From the corner of his eye, Hob had noticed the steady motion of Dream’s fingers against the paper turning jerky and irregular. Now he’d abandoned it altogether in favor of twisting them together over and over. His shoulders were tensing, rounding a bit. Ah. It was time, Hob thought, to let him experience his inspiration from afar. But they’d made a start. He thought it was a good start.

Hob picked up his half-drunk mug and lifted it in a little salute. “Right then, I’ll…just leave you to the—the creative processes.”

Dream wrapped his hands around the mug in front of him, just as Hob had imagined, though without his own curved over top of them. “Until next time, then.” And there it was again, that faint smile.

Hob beat a retreat back to his flat. He was only halfway up the stairs when his phone began buzzing its way out of his pocket. Dar, as expected.

Okay we want the story. Spill!

Goddammit. I think I owe Matt a tenner

Told you

…………………..

Next time came later that week, when Dream appeared with his sketchbook and awkward smile and absurdly sexy voice, which Hob coaxed out of him for ten whole minutes before it was obvious he needed a break from human interaction. Hob gathered his small victories where he could.

The warm feeling in his gut, it stayed with him. It was gentle, soothing, some invisible softness blanketing all the rough-edged hurts he’d collected over the past year. It was…striking.

Which was why it was so profoundly obvious to him the moment it was gone.

The day started off wrong-footed in a dozen small and frustrating ways. It was one of those bloody wretched freezing winter days, devoid of snow or any kind of charm, with a biting wind that seemed hell-bent on causing as much trouble as possible. The Inn was busy with customers who mostly just seemed fed up with the outdoors and wanted to forget it existed for awhile.

Hob was helping out behind the bar, pulling orders for a surprisingly rowdy pre-dinner crowd and keeping an eye on one customer in particular—red sweater, surly expression, toeing Matthew’s cut-off line for acceptable drunkenness. He just caught Dream stepping in, huddled in a coat that didn’t look near heavy enough and looking even more like a frozen scarecrow than usual. Quickly he threw together Dream’s usual order, with the addition of a large muffin on a plate, and hurried over. “My friend, hello. I have a job for you today.”

Dream’s brows lifted slightly as Hob set it all down in front of him. “A job involving…muffins?”

Hob grinned. “We started bringing things in from that new bakery down the street, Gilbert’s, maybe help give them a boost. Matthew’s idea.” He nudged the muffin forward and grinned. “Taste test for me, give me a report later.”

Dream opened his mouth, but a crash and raised voices in the direction of the bar drowned out whatever it was he was about to say. Hob looked over his shoulder and swore. “Excuse me, I’ll be back.”

It was Anita, a friend of Dar’s, only two weeks on the job. She stood frozen in the middle of a circle of broken glass from a dropped tray and bystanders who were half out of their seats with the look of folks obviously ready to start throwing punches but unsure how to go about it. The man in the red sweater had one hand locked around her wrist and what could only be described as a leer on his face.

Coming up on them, Hob heard her furious “…I said shove off.”

Red Sweater slurred, “I see you talkin’ but ‘m not hearing anything worth listenin to, yet.”

“Oooh, bad idea mate,” she said. And then Hob’s hand was coming down on his forearm, fingers digging, and he released her with a pained shout.

“Out. Now.,” Hob said.

“Fuck you arsehole, what, you own the place?”

“Actually, yeah,” Matthew said, stepping up to Anita and gently pulling her out of range.

“He does.”

Hob leaned in close and growled, “It’s not that loud in here, I know you heard me.” He shifted his grip to grab a handful of red wool at the back of the man’s neck and pulled. “You can leave now, or I can walk into the back and just let the regulars decide how to sort you out.”

The man wrenched himself out of Hob’s grasp and honked a few more drunken obscenities around at no one in particular grabbing his coat and staggering off. Hob watched him go, resisting the urge to fling him bodily through the door. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dream, his head bent over his sketchbook, pencil moving intently.

It was pure dumb luck that he saw what followed, it happened so quickly.

The man was stalking unsteadily towards the exit, which took him directly past Dream’s table. As he neared it, Dream looked up and made the most peculiar gesture with his hand—Hob nearly missed it—as though he were lifting something from the table in front of him and flicking it away.

The banana peel hit the floor just as Red Sweater came parallel with Dream’s table. His shoe hit the peel, and in true slapstick fashion, his foot shot out from under him and he landed flat on his arse.

A wave of snickering passed through the crowd. Someone in the back hooted, “OH SMOOTH.”

Red Sweater scrambled to his feet, gave the room in general the finger, and slapped his way out the doors. The usual buzz of the Inn resumed as everyone went back to their conversations. As though an absolutely impossible thing had not just occurred right in front of them.

“What a dick,” Matthew said, appearing at Hob’s side with a broom. “Hey, you okay, boss?”

“What? I— yeah.” Hob shook his head. Nodded his head. Dragged his fingers through his hair. “Is Nita okay?”

“She’ll be okay, I think, she’s taking a break. You sure you are? Because you look like someone just slapped you with a fish. Hey! You know, there’s a word for that? It’s—“

“Hold that thought, Matt,” Hob said, reaching out to pat him absently on the shoulder. Feeling cold prickling across his skin, he made his way over to Dream’s table.

The table was empty. The tea sat untouched. The muffin was missing. Dream was gone.

Hob bent and picked up the banana peel, staring at the thing dangling limply in his hand. It was. A banana peel. Slightly squashed from being tread on. He didn’t know exactly what he’d expected, but that’s what he had. Feeling slow and stupid, he looked down at his feet and there on the floor—a steak of yellow, like chalk ground across the wood.

“What the hell?” he muttered.

Standing there by the door, he felt the cold rushing in, chilling him for the first time in what seemed like days.

Suddenly he was moving, ducking into the kitchen and through the back employee door. Turning the corner, he skirted around the odds and ends that littered the narrow space and pulled back to look at the wall where the orange flames had swirled.

They were…gone.

“What the bloody hell?”

The piece was still there, mostly, a little worse for wear. Hob could see the framing background details, but the flames themselves were gone. Instead there was nothing but empty space, clean bare wall, not even traces of clinging pigment left behind.

The wind blew sharply down the alley, and Hob shivered.

#dreamling #the sandman netflix #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream x hob #dreamling au #street artist!Dream #A Translation of the Dream

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