#dead poets society fanfiction

[ash5monster01]

A Dead Poet’s Holiday

Warnings: fluff, alive Neil, minor mentions of past trauma, comfort, lots of teasing, mentions of drinking

Summary: Every year the boys make sure to get together for Christmas. After ten years they discover some things can’t always stay the same.

word count: 4.2k

Masterlist

1969

Charlie has never sprinted faster in his life, an older woman cursing him when he bumps her a little too hard on his way along the platform. He couldn’t afford to be late, if he was he’d never hear the end of it. So with his unbuttoned coat flying behind him and the briefcase along with presents spilling from his arms he makes it in the Subway doors just in time. Shutting closed and allowing himself to finally breathe as he rides uptown. 

The same went for Meeks and Pitts who had just made their train from Connecticut to the Big Apple. Already craving the comfort of Neil and Todd’s Upper West Side Apartment. It didn’t matter that they all had to squish on air mattresses in the already too small living room and share one bathroom. Anything was better than this train. Especially for Pitts whose neck already hurt from trying to catch some sleep against Meeks' much lower shoulder. 

For Knox it was a bit easier, opting to drive himself this year, and even if it was a five hour trek he figured there was no timeline when he was in charge of his travel. As usual all the boys were making the journey to get together for the Holidays. It was important for them to see each other around Christmas, remind themselves how lucky they were to have each other. They all had survived a soul crushing experience together and they were lucky to be out in the world and living it as best they can. 

Which was why even Cameron was included, him taking the first flight out to New York City and so grateful he had kept all his friends. Charlie wasn’t entirely fond of this but it didn’t matter. Whatever Neil wanted he got and Charlie would never dare try and say no. So he put on a happy face even though he often wanted to slap one off of Cameron’s. It was Christmas after all, a time to be with the people you love and celebrate with each other. Cameron may be a fink but he also understood them, came from the same roots they did, and for that it was enough to be included.

“Sorry I’m late, why does it smell like that-.” Charlie stops in his tracks. He had just barely made it through the doorway. He eyes Todd at his desk in the corner of the living room, typing feverishly away on who knows what. That’s when an apron wearing Neil stumbles out of the kitchen with a sheepish look on his face and a cloud of smoke pillowing behind him.

“So I have good news and bad news.” He grins as if this sight shouldn’t be concerning. What concerned Charlie more was that Todd was too distracted to even notice the chaos behind him. Had the apartment burned down he’d be partly to blame. 

“What’s that?” Charlie asks, dumping his items down on the second hand couch he not so long ago helped them haul up all these flights of stairs. He didn’t often like babying Neil but sometimes it just came out of him. To think he somehow became the responsible one. 

“Good news is our fire extinguisher works, bad news is that I burned the turkey. Anyone feeling pizza?” And Charlie can only shake his head as Todd rolls his eyes at the boy. Charlie is already walking towards the phone to place the order. 

“I can grab it when I pick up Meeks and Pitts from the train station.” Todd offers and Charlie nods as the line connects with the young girl unfortunate enough to work the weekend before Christmas. He could only imagine the hoards of people last minute Christmas shopping and stopping in for a quick slice. Getting frustrated when they realized everyone else had the same idea. 

“Thanks Charlie.” Neil is quick to say when he hangs up the phone and Charlie just laughs before pulling him into a hug.

“That apron makes you look really domestic by the way.” And it’s meant to be teasing but Neil only grins because he liked his little life. Domestic and all. He spent his days running between auditions and performing in small plays all before coming home to curl up with Todd on the couch. It was all he ever dreamed of and he was so thankful to have it. One of these days he’d finally land that big role and he and Todd wouldn’t have to pull together scraps for this apartment way too nice for them. 

“The briefcase makes you look professional.” He counters back and Charlie only nods because he had to agree. The honest truth was there wasn’t much in it except for some quick paperwork and snacks. He still wasn’t quite sure what everyone else on Wall Street had in theirs. 

“I’ll be back, be good.” Todd calls and both boys wave as they settle on the couch and watch the blonde boy rush out the apartment. 

“So tell me about work?” And that’s how the old best friends get into deep conversation over their life and endeavors. Sharing the good and the bad and the details about the pretty brunette girl Charlie met in a bar last week. It’s as if nothing had ever changed but also everything had. At least they still had each other. 

“Hey, anybody home!” The familiar shout of Knox comes muffled through the door, followed by his hand slapping against the wood. Neil hops up quickly to let them in and both Knox and Cameron laugh at the sight of the apron tied around his waist. 

“Sorry we’re late for dinner Mom.” Cameron grins and Neil glares as he helps take some of the presents out of Knox’s hands. They all filter in, looking just as scrambled and worn from travel as Charlie did a half hour ago. 

“Gentleman, Merry Christmas.” Charlie says from his place on the couch as they all get settled in. Cameron is quick to tug the striped scarf off his neck and eye the apartment that was decorated to the best of Neil and Todd’s abilities. A tree too small for the space tucked away in a corner and covered in homemade paper ornaments. Hung over the windowsills was string popcorn, desperate to make the space more lively even though it was probably made from some meant to be Neil and Todd’s dinner one night. 

“Seems you’ve made yourself at home Nuwanda.” Knox grins at him, moving to shake his hand once all the items are free from his arms. Neil neatly stacking the presents everyone brought under the tree. By the time everyone got here the stack of presents would be taller than the tree itself but it didn’t matter. At least they were together. 

“Considering I’m here getting roped into things all the time it makes sense.” Charlie says, having spent more time in this apartment than his own since living in New York. Really it was just a short subway ride away. 

“Where’s Todd hiding?” Cameron asks as he takes both him and Knox’s coats to hang by the door. Neil chuckles as he finally unties the apron from around his waist, already over the harassment that had been coming from his friends. 

“I had an accident with dinner so he’s picking up a replacement. Oh and Meeks and Pitts.” Neil tells them and they nod knowingly like this wasn’t surprising at all. After all they were all prep school kids, no one taught them how to cook. It was a miracle any of them had survived without the school or their mothers cooking for them. 

“So Charlie, how’s the big job?” Knox asks, settling onto the couch beside him. Sometimes he regretted staying back in Vermont, especially when he saw his friend’s lives here. Yet he’d never change what he ended up with. 

“Me? What about you Mr. Big Time, head of his own firm. Congratulations” Knox’s cheeks tint red in the colored lights of the small tree beside him. About a month ago he had been promoted, more than likely courtesy of his father but from all his hard work too. It was also about work life balance, the only thing keeping him sane was the poetry class he taught after hours at the public school and his lovely wife. 

“Thanks yeah, it’s a lot but it’s nice. I make good money and now I’m just looking forward to settling down.” Everyone chuckles at the ever romantic boy in front of them. It was no surprise to any of them that Knox was just ready to build a real home with his wife Chris who was stupid enough to marry him. How he ever convinced her in the first place was beyond all of them. 

“What about Cameron, working towards being Mayor. Very noble” Knox directs the attention from him as he lightly applauds the red headed boy. Yet his hair wasn’t as dark anymore, already fading with age. The curse of politics. 

“Kiss ass” Charlie pretends to cough into his sleeve and Cameron glares at the boy he couldn’t believe he was still stuck with. Dorming with him all those years had to be torture enough. 

“I’ll have you know Nuwanda, that the citizens love me.” He states with a hand on his chest, no interest in his teasing or dissecting of his life and job. So what he was a rule follower, why would he need to cause trouble when he had Charlie for that. 

“Oh I’m sure.” Charlie agrees with that tone of his, always making Cameron question if it was genuine or not. More than likely not. 

“Still cool you’re doing it Cameron, maybe one day there will be Governor and even President in your future.” Neil encourages, intervening before Cameron started to take Charlie’s teasing too seriously. Some things would never change. 

“Oh please let me die by then.” Charlie mutters as he looks up to the ceiling, hands clasped together like a prayer and that earns him a glare from both Neil and Cameron. 

“Thanks Neil, it’s pretty cool. They gave me an office in the town hall and everything.” Charlie really wants to laugh, tease him considering he had his own office on the 27th floor with a view, but he knew to let Cameron have his moment. After all, he did grow from constantly harassing the kid.                                                                                     

“Look at all of us, another prized graduating class of Welton’s elite.” Knox grins and that makes all of them laugh, basking in the absurdity of it all. Especially since back then they would’ve done everything to fight it. Now they were all contributing members of the working class and somehow managing it too. 

“Hey, what's so funny?” A somehow even taller Pitts asks, a frizzy haired Meeks behind him holding a stack of four large pizzas. After the familiar click of the door Todd joins them and they are officially all together for the Holidays. 

“Hey, how was the train?” Neil excitedly asks as he stands to join them and free up their arms. Forever a good host. Yet the roll of both boys' eyes shows the train was as it always is. Boring and uncomfortable. 

“It got us here, how’s Broadway?” Meeks asks as Todd takes the pizzas from him. Neil grins like the cat that caught the canary. See it didn’t matter if he hadn’t made it big yet, he was doing what he loved and that was something so truly special. Maybe he had been cut off, hadn’t heard from his family in years, but at least he got his greatest wish. Plus he still had his friends.

“Magical.” Is Neil’s only response and Meeks somehow understands before helping organize the presents he and Pitts had brought. 

“We better eat before the food gets cold, help yourselves.” Todd grins as he gestures to the table with the stack of pizzas and now the added paper plates and plastic silverware. The boys don’t need to be told twice, having traveled all day and desperate for some sustenance. 

Their chatter is quickly replaced by the pop of champagne, Charlie grinning as he holds the bottle up like a trophy. The sight is followed by cheers from each of the boys as they get settled and Charlie pours a healthy amount into plastic cups for them each. Christmas as how it should be. Good pizza, lukewarm champagne, glowy Christmas lights, and all of them together. It didn’t matter that the streets of New York were bitterly cold and most of them lived hundreds of miles apart. They’d always have each other, understand one another, and live life the Dead Poets way. 

“Okay, updates people. Let’s hear em!” Charlie says after a while of small talk and making all the food disappear. They’re dispersed around the living room, no one with a proper seat, but it’s the most comfortable any of them have ever been. 

“Um well me and Meeks landed our first job.” Pitts offers, the two of them having been trying to navigate their engineering degrees in the city of their alma mater. They didn’t want to return to Vermont and New York just seemed too big so they stayed put. 

“Hey that’s great you guys.” Cameron grins and that brings a smile to both the boys faces. It was hard starting from the bottom of the ladder but pretty soon they’d get somewhere. Just like Charlie. Somehow the most rambunctious of them all ended up the most successful in a life he didn’t want. It was weird how the world worked. 

“I meet with a publisher after the holidays.” Todd nearly whispers and shocked faces fill the room before each of the boys clap and cheer. 

“Now that’s what I’m talking about Todd, we knew you could do it” Charlie says, reaching over and patting his back and a heavy blush covers his cheeks from embarrassment. 

“I’m not published yet.” He reminds them but it doesn’t matter because his friends are excited. Besides who wouldn’t publish Todd Anderson. 

“Believe it or not but I met a girl.” Cameron offers to bring the attention off of Todd. He wasn’t nearly as shy anymore but he still struggled with so much attention on him at once. After all they had been through Cameron was happy to pull their focus away. Even if it was embarrassing for him.

“Have you talked to her yet?” Pitts asked and Cameron’s glare made everyone laugh, Cameron being the biggest victim to how sheltered they were growing up. He just gaped at women like a fish until he was twenty five and even after that it was only proper conversation he was able to make with no eye contact. 

“Yes, her name is Lisa. She’s a secretary and we met at the local bar. Didn’t give me much of a choice, just sat down and said I was buying. Who was I to say no?” And the boys all chuckle at this admission, of course Cameron would fall for a girl who bossed him around. That might be the only thing to make sense in the world. 

“No shit.” Knox grins and Cameron realizes the teasing has passed when all his friends look genuinely happy for him. 

“I have an audition for a lead part next week. I probably won’t get it but if I do you’ll all receive opening night tickets.” Neil tells the group with a smile he can’t suppress covering his entire face. Yes he was broke, scraping by to live this life, yet right now with his home full of love he couldn’t be any happier. Hope was something he wasn’t yet used to. 

“We’ll all be here.” Meeks confirms as if it was no doubt Neil would get the role. The confidence in his ability makes Neil feel on top of the world, or it could be the two glasses of champagne. He wasn’t complaining either way. 

“I’m going to be a Dad.” Knox drops his bomb, a soft smile on his lips, and the admission stuns everyone silent. They all eye one of their eldest friends, trying to imagine him as a father, raising a child that could go through all the same things they did. 

“Not a chance.” Todd is the first to say and the boy laughs, shaking his head at his blonde friend before taking another long sip of his champagne. 

“We found out a week ago, I was freaked out obviously but we’ve been married a year and I have a good job. It’s the right time and she’s really excited.” The look on his face is one of contentment, happy with the cards he had been dealt. Yeah he did end up working in law like his father but he also filled all the other empty spaces with the things that would make him happy. That’s what was important. Balance. 

“Knox, that's amazing! Congratulations!” Neil cheers, hopping up to pull him in a hug and Knox accepts it. He held all the same fears for his future child as the other boys did but at least they could support each other. He knew his child would have six really great Uncles. 

When Neil lets him go the other boys follow suit, muttering congratulations and embracing him with love and support. Life was changing and they were getting older, even the world was progressing, growing and accepting everyday. Yet what needed to stay the same did, which is why Charlie is quick to pour another round of drinks before holding his cup in the air with that same confident smile he’d worn his entire life.

“To the Dead Poets and the future class.” Charlie says, shooting a wink at Knox. The boys all repeat the words, hitting the plastic cups together before putting back more of the champagne. 

With Charlie’s encouragement and enforcement, it’s not long until each of the poets are feeling the alcohol. Cheeks warm in the same apartment and eyeing the soft snow that’s beginning to flutter to the ground. The Bing Crosby vinyl Neil put on an hour ago spinning with no sound as the Holiday surrounds them. It was so much more magical than any winter spent at Welton. It was the kind of night meant to be enjoyed, embraced. 

“Let’s go ice skating.” Todd breaks the silence, head turning to him quickly. Todd spots each of their confused faces before rolling his eyes. “Come on, it’s a gorgeous night and I bet the tree looks amazing right now. What do we have to lose?”

“I’m in.” Charlie tips his glass in his direction and Todd grins as each of the boys consider. After all, the alcohol would keep them warm, and a little field trip never hurt anybody. No sneaking out is required these days. 

“Let’s do it, I’ve never seen the Rockefeller tree anyway.” Cameron is the next to agree and that shocks everyone on an entirely different level. Yet his agreement is what gives the rest of them the push, all of them collecting their coats, and excited to take on this next adventure.

All with refreshed drinks they hit the town, snow falling around them, and slush soaking the bottoms of their pant legs. They walk arm in arm, chattering about nothing as they make their way to the nearest Subway. This is Christmas, carefree and full of love. It doesn’t matter that Charlie keeps trying to steal Cameron’s hat and that people give them weird looks when Meeks jumps onto Pitts' back for a piggy back ride. Right now it felt like they were seventeen again, carefree and happy. That’s what was important, nothing else. 

“Now that's a Goddamn tree.” Knox is the first to say when exit the subway station and starts to blend in with the large crowd. Tourists and locals all enjoy the weekend before Christmas with one of the most beautiful sights in the world. 

“Wow.” Cameron mutters and Pitts and Meeks nod in agreement behind him. The tree is as bright as the sun, a rainbow of Christmas cheer and beauty. It’s the distraction they all need as Charlie slips to pay the attendant for all of them to skate. 

“You didn't have to do that.” Neil scolds and he shrugs, happy to provide for all his friends. Lucky they got to do this all together.

“I don't mind, come pick out your skates guys.” And the boys shuffle over, yelling sizes as they all receive a pair. None of them have ever actually skated before. Skiing was big at Welton but that was an entirely different world. 

That’s how they all end up like Bambi, trying their best not to fall as they glide out into the crowds of people skating underneath the giant tree. It’s Christmas bottled up in a moment, even when Pitts wipes out and brings Todd down with him. Knox laughs so hard he has to stop or he’ll fall himself. It’s then Charlie decides to bump Cameron who does everything not to fall. Legs spinning like Roadrunner beneath him. It’s Meeks who grabs his back and steadies him, allowing him to glare at Charlie who’s being punched in the arm by Neil for shoving Cameron in the first place. 

“I’d say this is much better than the old Indian Cave.” Neil says once they all find their footing and start lapping the rink like everyone else. It’s the most fun he’d ever had during Christmas, not a chance they could top next year. 

“Just as crowded though.” Meeks jokes and the boys all laugh, having stuffed themselves in that cave and hit their heads enough times for it to be true. There was no doubt New York City was full of people, especially during Christmas. A night like this was worth facing the crowds if they all got to be together. 

“At least we’re together, it's going to get harder and harder every year.” Todd points out and they all collectively nod, knowing life will keep going and more things will start to happen. A weekend near the Holiday’s will be harder and harder to accomplish, even with all the distance between them. 

“Yeah especially now that Knox is going to have a kid.” Pitts points out and all eyes catch Knox again, still processing this milestone and what it’ll mean for them. When that kid was born they’d no longer be the current generation, everything could change. Even the dynamics of the group. 

“I’m going to do my best.” Knox says but they know now to maybe not expect him next year, or maybe they’d return to Vermont for the Holidays. It’s not that it wasn’t exciting, in fact it was some of the best news any of them heard. What was scary is knowing this kid could go through the things they had endured and have to bear the weight of soul crushing guilt. Have the world expect something of them when they're only just a child. It made them want to protect but that was a good thing. It meant this kid was already loved more than ever and would have a support system that defied all odds. 

“We’re not worried about that Knoxious, we always make things work.” Charlie encourages, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulder and he smiles as they each top directly in front of the tree. Looking up for what felt like miles as the dazzling Christmas lights twinkled in their eyes. 

“Yeah, we’re the Dead Poets Society after all, we live deliberately.” Todd reminds them and they all smile, memorizing this feeling of all being together just as they once were knowing change was just around the corner. Visits will become less and less but the love would always be there, no matter what milestone each of them faced. 

It’s the Christmas that changes everything, a new decade upon them. Within the next year Knox would have a little girl, eyes identical to his and bright blonde hair just like Chris’. Todd’s book will get published, hitting shelves by the summer and sky rocketing his career. Cameron gets engaged, a shock to even himself, but happier than he’s ever been. Meeks and Pitts business will take off, designing some of the largest and most intricate structures Connecticut has ever seen. Charlie will fall hopelessly and desperately in love, leaving the bachelor lifestyle behind, and eloping with the girl of his dreams. Then there was Neil, who nailed his audition just as each of the Poet’s thought. He makes it big on Broadway, and just as promised, each of them are there to see. It’s like deja vu sitting in the crowd, just as they once had a decade ago. When the curtains close they start the standing ovation, cheering loud enough to burst their lungs, knowing this time when they meet Neil outside the night will go the way it should have ten years ago. A celebration of love and togetherness like it was always meant to be. 

Finally having contributed their verse. 

a/n: I had wrote this as a Secret Santa gift for the lovely @happiness-runs but I figured you all would enjoy too. Merry Christmas ❤️

[kylacxie]

kind of new to the dps fandom, looking for dps fans so just reblog and ill follow you. also if any of my girlies have anderperry fics their working on i’d love to check it out!

[good--merits-accumulated]

If we for a moment forgo canon events and disagreements then I do wholeheartedly hope and believe that Todd and Neil get married during the '70s. It's a sunny afternoon on the perfect day in mid-spring and the light is at its thickest and most golden and Charlie got registered as an officiant just for this day and not everybody's present - Meeks can't make it from Switzerland on short notice, but they get a photo of him and prop it up on the coffee table at the perfect angle to see. Neil keeps wondering if he's going to get the pre-wedding jitters and does end up pacing around the living room early in the morning, but it's less cold feet and more impatience. (Turns out it's kind of hard to get cold feet when your almost-husband is sitting drowsily on the couch to keep you company and he keeps almost nodding off and you keep remembering all the ways in which you love him.) Ginny barges in at noon with hairspray and a sewing kit and insists on making bouquets with shitty grocery store flowers for both of them and Todd's suit ends up with a hastily added elbow patch and Neil's tie doesn't match his pocket square, because one's from Cameron and the other's from Knox. (Something borrowed, something blue...) It's perfect. In the end they go out on the balcony and Charlie's wearing this really tacky priest outfit, just really shitty fabric so that he's probably sweating bullets, and the collar's come untucked, and at the last moment Chris shrieks, "You forgot your bouquets!" and throws one with such good aim it hits Todd in the face. But they get through the vows and both of them only cry a little, because Cameron cries enough for all of them combined, and then that's it - over - and married. And as Charlie beams and says they can kiss there's a well-timed shower of rice from the balcony above, and congratulations, from some upstairs neighbours and well-wishers. Pitts catches the kiss on his expensive video camera and he also catches the cheering, which is so loud that, four blocks away, a lone man packing up his street food van pauses in closing boxes and thinks that there must be a party going on. He's right. And at the end of the night when the last loved one leaves and shuts the door gently behind them to not disturb the newlyweds lying together on the couch, silent with happiness, it's still perfect. At that moment it doesn't matter that there is no piece of paper, or no registry office, or that if Todd has an accident Neil might not be able to visit him in the hospital room. There will be tears for those things, but they come later. For now they're married. The beautiful thing never changes.

[dreaming-in-daylight]

𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕪, 𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕡𝕠𝕖𝕥: 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕨𝕠

what if neil perry wrote suicide letters?

tw: suicide

Dear Father, 

I remember the days you used to pick me up and hold me in your arms. I remember the times you used to buy ice cream from the truck on hot summer days. I remember when you held my hand comfortingly on the first day of school. Or when you held me as I cried.

I will ask you one question, even though I know I will never receive an answer. What happened to you?  When did you become a man who had no son, but a slave? A slave who must bring you joy by being buried under piles of papers expectations until he loses his will to live. A slave who had his dreams burned after he had finally touched it. What brings you joy in that? 

You shouldn’t be surprised by me dying. I wasn’t alive either way. Just a body without a soul. I am sure it will be you who finds me by your desk, unbreathing, heart unbeating. I am a human, father. I have dreams. I am not a toy for you to play with. I have a soul and a heart. 

Sincerely,  A dead poet

tag list: @booklovrrs @thiamblogger @apollo-sunsaid @neil-perrys-reincarnation @1mlostnow

@poetsinnyc @hyacinthi-mortem @endeavour12345

[hunterofartemis151]

My dumb ass keeps writing Neil Anderson instead of Neil Perry and I don't know what to do about it. It's a problem. I've had to go back and edit because of how MUCH I've done it. Anyways. Also progress on the fic is slow cause classes and finals and hahaha failing courses so it's very much on the back burner, but I will work on it more soon.

[inahallucination]

anderperry but the first time todd kisses neil, neil straight up passes out

[applebyraven]

pucker up, puck (ch. 1)

Todd's eyelids fluttered open, and for a moment, the world shrank down to just him and Neil, holding each other's gaze.

In the past, Todd would have taken this as a signal to withdraw, to retreat into the protective shell Neil had often teased him about. But not now. Not after Neil's soft, lingering kisses had kindled something new within him—a craving to feel those lips on his own, to bridge the gap between longing and reality. In this moment, Todd was just as determined as Neil, both of them bound by a shared desire that felt incomplete, waiting to be fulfilled.

"Tell me if I get it wrong," Todd murmured, his voice barely audible as he leaned closer.

or:

In which Todd needs to learn how to kiss, and his kind-hearted roommate Neil is more than happy to lend a hand—and lips.

[rrcenic]

on graduation night, todd sees neil in a dream. it’s not the first time, but it is the only instance where neil isn’t simply part of a plot. he just…stands there. and todd knows. he knows this is as close as he will ever get to saying goodbye.

and yet, neil does not speak. it’s strange, the usually bubbly boy doesn’t say a word. and todd screams, and pleads, “i love you, i love you, say anything, please”

and when todd has yelled himself hoarse, he sits. and neil sits. and todd stares, and whispers.

“i’m sorry”

and finally, neil raises his head.

“why?”

todd laughs, rough and wet.

“i’m sorry that i wasn’t enough to keep you here.”

and he knows. he knows it’s just a dream. but oh god, when neil cups his cheek, he can feel it. he can feel the warmth and the rough fingertips and the indent of the small mole on neil’s inner arm.

“todd. todd, my love. this was never your fault”

and todd is angry. angry at himself, because he believes this dream-ghost-hallucination neil. he trusts him. because how could he not?

“i am proud of you. i am proud of everything about you. i am proud of who you are becoming.

i love you, todd anderson. do you know that?”

todd wakes with a start, and for a minute, he is confused. where is neil? why isn’t he there, in the bed beside him?

and it hits him. and he cries. as he has cried every night, and will cry every night. sobs shake his body, doubled over in bed.

15 years later, in the dedication of todd anderson’s first published book of poetry, there is a dedication.

to neil- i have never doubted your love. not once. i miss you every day

[your-local-dead-poet]

been hyperfixating on my dps fanfic lately, here are my favourite quotes so far (out of context):

“If you don’t take it seriously, Nolan might just actually shoot you in the courtyard.” -Knox

“I like the floor.” -Charlie

“I nearly shit my pants when Mr. Wagner started yelling at us in gym.” -Todd

“See you around, sandwich man.” -Me

“So no 98-pound weakling?” -Neil

“Perhaps the thigh thing runs in the family?” -Charlie

“Guessing he doesn’t win any father-of-the-year awards? -Me

“Okay, I do believe it’s well within my capabilities to sneak into the kitchens.” -Charlie

(This is based on my dps DR, so it’s low-key a self-insert)

[meekspeaks]

september prompts: anderperry, 6.

(sorry i just love how you write anderperry😔)

@soobiesworld HEHEHEHEEHHE I LOVE YOU MY FAV !!!!!!!

prompt list !!

anderperry - bonfire !!

"And if I said I was freezing, would that sway any of you?" Pitts questions over the neck of his third sweater, and this is met with a chorus of groans and chides from the other poets who are huddled in the cave, the loudest being Charlie, who is currently trying to fuel the bonfire with some sticks, which are slightly damp.

Knox passes around the bag of marshmallows, "Charlie will fix the fire up... I hope."

"You know I will!" Charlie shouts from where he is beautifully perched over the fire, ass up and facing the world.

Todd shudders, "I wish he'd hurry up."

Neil giggles beside him, and then pulls him in towards his chest, mockingly shivering and chattering his teeth.

Cameron sits smugly on top of his blanket - which he'd refused to share, saying that they should've thought about that before hurrying out to the cave on a chilled autumn night. "This is why I said to--"

"Bring a blanket, wah wah wah, yeah, we get it, Cameron." Charlie whines, flicking a stick at Cameron's leg.

"You any warmer?" Neil whispers against his ear, voice low and gentle, just between the two of them.

Todd feels his face heat up. "A bit."

He kisses him on the cheek. Okay, definitely warmer.

Meeks stands up with great purpose and fishes out a piece of paper from his pocket. "I have a romantic poem here, everyone, listen up!"

"Pretty sure Valentines isn't for a while, Meeks."

"Can it, Perry, can't you see I'm about to give a show? Ahem... I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair..."

As Meeks goes on, Todd shrinks further into Neil, wrapping his arms around his waist and realising that the words of the poem reflect how Todd feels when he's not around Neil. He craves him, almost like it's an addiction - he isn't sated by anything else but the love that Neil gives him, the life that Neil breathes into him. It's Neil and Neil alone, everything is drowned out by his radiance.

As if he's reading his mind, Neil whispers to him again. "That's how I feel about you."

Todd huffs a laugh. "You poet."

"Hey, I didn't write it!"

Meeks bows to the applause he gets from the poets, and Charlie lets out his own whoop when the fire roars to life, everyone else following.

Todd groans. "Ugh, finally."

"How very dare you, Anderson!" Charlie gasps above the laughter of the others.

"At least it's finally warming up in here." Pitts affirms.

"You warm now?" Neil asks.

"Yeah."

Neil then does the unthinkable, and begins to let Todd go.

"No-- No, no, I--"

Neil blinks, and then grins down at him. "What? You like being in my arms?"

Todd's mouth snaps shut, and then his face flames. "Shut up."

"You like me holding you, hmmmm?"

Todd tries to squirm out of Neil's hold, "Get off me!"

"You loooove me?"

"Shut up!"

"Knox, Neil and Todd are being gay! Stop them!"

"Charlie..."

[pingunaa]

are there any dps fics out there where it is neils funeral?

the poets giving a speech and todd getting mad at mr perry

[ash5monster01]

Would you be okay writing a submissive Charlie smut? You can make him a bit bratty though, that would make sense lol. Thanks so much if you do. ❤️

a/n: I technically had this half written in my notes already so please enjoy the absurd horny thoughts that have been hiding in my drafts for months. at least I finally finished it <3

Not So Cocky Now

Pairing: older!Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: 18+, MA, smut, oral (male receiving), heavy teasing, mature descriptions, language, praise, edging, no plot, established relationship

Summary: Charlie Dalton always had a big ego but you learn pretty quickly how easily he can fold in the bedroom.

word count: 2.3k

Masterlist

“You’re intoxicating” Charlie mutters against your lips, knee nudging between your own as he presses you firmly against the back of his door. When he had taken you to dinner tonight the last thing he expected was bringing you back here, but now that he had you he had no plans on letting you leave.

“I’d like to argue that it’s you, who’s intoxicating” he pants, kissing you feverishly back. You smiled against his lips, kissing him back just as hungry. Charlie was growing addicted to your voice, your lips, your touch. He pulls you in close, keeping you both firmly pressed against the door because suddenly he had all the time in the world for you.

You relaxed into the kiss, completely giving yourself to him as he basked in the feeling of his body against yours. He could have you any way he wanted, even against this door. He can feel his heart beat racing as he kisses you. Every time he did it took over his mind and his body began to crave you more and more. You were addictive like a drug that he just couldn’t get enough of. Now that he had a taste he was never going to stop.

You lift up your hands to run your fingers through his hair, tugging softly just as your tongue begins to explore his mouth. You whimper softly when his calloused hand drags down your side, hooking under your knee, and lifting to lock your one leg around his waist. When he’s settled against you, you can’t help the soft moan that escapes into his own mouth. He can’t stop himself from rolling his hips against you and the notion dragged a moan out of him that matched your own.

You clench around nothing as he continues to roll his hips into your own and his mouth begins to trail down your neck. He’s practically out of breath, heart racing furiously as he anticipates what could happen next. “I’ll never get enough of you,” he mutters softly against your neck, hands gripping tightly at your waist.

“Better indulge yourself then” you say with a grin and he smiles before leaving a teasing kiss just below your jawline. He wanted to cover your neck in hickey’s, mark your skin, make you his own. When he starts to suck a particular spot on your neck you find yourself reaching forward and slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt. When you get it pushed off his shoulders Charlie’s hand suddenly lands on your breast, kneading softly over the fabric. The feeling brings you to meet your hips against his own.

With his shirt now gone you begin to lift your own, smiling as Charlie watches you with a deep gulp, revealing all that bare skin. When your hands finally unclasp your bra, you’re pretty sure Charlie’s reached euphoria watching it slide slowly down your arms. He was much like a starving man as he eyed your now bare chest. He let out a shuddering breath before trailing his hands across the soft skin there, caressing you gently. Slowly he leans down, kissing the top of your breast and you can’t help the gasp that falls from your lips.

Charlie doesn’t need anymore confirmation as he begins to suck your breast softly into his mouth, tongue tracing the outline of your nipple as he provided attention to both. He couldn’t stop himself from leaving a trail of bruises across your chest, marking his territory as he claimed it as his own. As your head tipped back against the wall you felt the boys fingers tuck into the waist line of your skirt, slowly nudging the fabric down your legs. He was desperate to taste you, slowly moving to his knees in front of you.

He looked up at you with his intense dark eyes just to watch your own expression and how breathless he had made you. He had only just barely tasted you and now he was determined for more. Yet your hands on his shoulders stop him from going any lower, the smile on your face devious. It actually makes him nervous, anticipating your neck move when he was already so wrecked for you. Straining against his pants and begging to be released.

“Me first,” is all you say, lifting him to stand up straight and guiding him towards the bed. It’s the first time he’s never been in control and yet he lets you move him anyway. A small grunt leaving his lips as you shove him down onto the bed and start with the buckle on his pants. His eyebrows raise as you eye the visible tent in his pants.

“This exactly how you want me boss?” he asks, a sarcastic tone laced with his voice and you smirk, hand cupping his length over the fabric and watching how he shudders just from the slight sensation.

“Yeah, laid out and nice and pretty for me” he blushes at the words, not expecting them or your sudden dominant attitude. It makes him twitch against your palm and your smirk somehow widens. Slowly you lean down to kiss him as you unbutton and unzip his pants, only breaking away to guide them down his legs. You waste no time by removing his boxers with them, eyes shamelessly staring at his hardened length. Standing proud and tall, grazing across his abdomen all angry and red. It almost had to be painful how badly he wanted you.

Charlie can’t help but stare at you, his eyes darkened with desire as he watches through half-lidded eyes. His breathing is already becoming shallow, and his heart is beginning to race. A few spots of red spread across his pale skin as he waits for your touch, watching with anticipation. He can’t remember the last time he’s ever been as desperate as he is now. What was even worse was how easily he had caved to you, no longer in control and needy for your touch.

Slowly you drop to your knees, hands landing on his bare thighs, caressing them slowly and mouth watering at the sight of him. His hips involuntarily buck and it makes you smirk, realizing he was puddy in your hands. He needed you and you planned to hold out, tease him as long as you could get away with before the poor boy burst. His body is already straining with need for your touch. Even though he so desperately wanted to take control, he couldn’t seem to find himself moving. He couldn’t help but let out a moan, his head lolling back onto the mattress as he bucked his hips up once again.

“So pretty” you muse, admiring the sight of him begging to be touched. Beads of pre-cum roll down his tip and you hold back despite how your mouth waters.

Your words make his breath hitch in his throat, and more of his skin begin to flush. Noticing the way you were admiring him already made his mind fuzzy. He can’t help but whine and buck his hips again slightly, desperate for any form of touch from you. He never thought he’d end up like this, squirming and needy for once. Every other experience he had before it was the other way around. Had the once great and mighty Charlie Dalton become a submissive in bed?

“I could stare at you for hours” you tell him, sighing softly as you trace your finger up the length of him. He trembles at your touch, needing more, begging for more. Your touch was like liquid fire across his skin, and it sent another shudder through his body.

“Please….” He whines, his chest heaving. He was wrecked, a mess, and nearly fighting off tears that were burning at the back of his eyes.

“Please what?” you urge, encouraging him to use his words and loving the control you suddenly had over him. He lets out a frustrated whine as you encourage him to use his words, his mind feeling hazy at the sound of your voice commanding him. He tried to put together the words in his head, but all that could come out in the moment was another desperate plea.

“Please, more…” he pants, eyes darting between where she kneels between his legs and the ceiling above him. He feels helpless, like he’s drowning and you’re the only one who can save him.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that baby, need to know exactly what you want” you’re evil, he’s quite sure of it. Especially when you grin, slowly wrapping your hand around the base of his length, enjoying how blown out his eyes are from how needy he is.

“Anything, please. Whatever you want, I just need you” but it’s the wrong answer, it cause your hand to release him and strangled whine that leaves his throat surprises you both.

“I’m going to need specifics” your eyebrows are raised, face way to calm for the panic rushing through him from how badly he needed you. At this rate a single touch would send him over the edge in seconds.

“You. I just want you. I want you to touch me, to give me anything, please…” he begs, voice whiny and high pitched. He should be embarrassed but his desire for you outweighed that feeling more. Realizing you’d turned him into a puddle for barely nothing you try to make things a bit easier on him.

“Charlie, my hands or my mouth?” he hand is wrapped back around him, slowly guiding it up and offering some pressure to his impending release.

“I-I don’t know” he stutters and you sigh, releasing him again. It almost made you feel bad but it also turned you on too.

“Decide or you get neither” your voice is serious and his cock twitching in front of you shows he wouldn’t be able to handle not having any relief. You either did something or he suffered. He lets out a helpless noise, eyes glued to your face before speaking.

“I want your mouth, please. I need it” You grin before wrapping your hand around the base of his length again. Charlie tips his head back into the bed as you wrap your lips around his tip. He smiles softly as your tongue slowly glides across, finally providing him some relief. He whines desperately as you lower yourself, taking more and more of him in. Finally finding solace in the soft warmness of your mouth.

“Oh God” He groans, his entire body relaxing the moment he got what he wanted. He moans softly as you bob your lips around him. His hips bucking slightly, but quickly making sure not to overwhelm you as he shivers against the mattress. His breath was coming out in huffs, and he still wasn’t sure he could making it out of this alive.

You continue to bob your head up and down his length. Hollowing your cheeks out and providing the relief he so desperately needed. You moan against him when his fingers tangle your hair, the sensation making him shudder beneath you. You love how whiny he is as he tries not to grind into your mouth. You’re giving him exactly what he wants, hitting the back off your throat as your warm tongue traces the vein up his length.

“You look so beautiful like this, baby” He moans, his words becoming praise instead of sentences at this point. He couldn’t help himself, he was so overwhelmed by the feeling of your mouth and he could stop that or the occasional curse.

“You’re even prettier, all worked up for me” you say after removing your mouth, proudly flaunting the drool and tears that stream down your face from the pleasure. Charlie groans, suddenly getting harder at the sight and you just smiles before taking him back into your mouth.

You have no plans of stopping, sucking him for all he’s worth and taking all of him that you can. He finds himself close to finish when your lips meet the base of him, his length entirely in your mouth. His hips stutter when he feels himself nearing his release, but his moans are quickly turning into gasps of air as his mind turns to mush. He can feel himself falling further and further into a sea of pleasure as he nears his edge, his moans becoming more and more frequent.

“I-I’m so close…” you only move faster, bobbing quickly and sucking him as hard as you can as you urge him to release. It hits him all at once, the finish whiting out his vision as he cums without warning. He coats the back of your throat but your movements never cease. Bowling him through his finish. His breathing is shaky as he looks up at you with half-lidded eyes while your movements begin to slow. He needs a moment to catch his breath, air leaving his lungs as if he ran a marathon.

“Such a good boy” you praise as you release him, arm wiping the drool and tears from your face. Yet the smile you wear shows you didn’t mind it one bit. In fact you had enjoyed every second and you were still wearing your skirt and panties.

“Is it my turn now?” he asks, breath still heavy and you laugh as you crawl up his form. Smirking at the way he winces when his length brushes against you.

“I’m all yours” is the last thing you say before he finally returns to the Charlie he was before. Rolling and pinning you to the bed in order to return the favor. Which he does happily as he finally removes the clothes from your form.

“Now this is what I’m talking about”

[clowningcrows]

there may actually be an anderperry one shot coming up soon yall....

[theluminoussunflower]

anyway i might. be writing a second chapter of videos from todd's pov,,, if anyone cares about that

[dreaming-in-daylight]

𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕪, 𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕡𝕠𝕖𝕥: 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕖

what if neil perry wrote suicide letters?

tw: suicide

Dear World, 

I have always believed that nobody truly wants to kill themselves. They only want an escape from whatever they’re dealing with. But what if there was no other way out?

I have always dreamed of performing. I loved the concept of playing pretend for the entertainment of hundreds of people. There is some beauty in the unity that it creates between people of such diversity. You see men and women, tall and short, weak and strong, old and young, all of them enjoying what’s folding before their eyes. 

When I realized that I may never get to paint the smiles on those deserving people’s faces, I gave up. I realized that my future is not bright; that I will be slaving away in the military, where nobody is happy; that I will never escape this controlling home; that I had no escape. Besides one.

I would like the world to know that I am a soul. I am a soul with dreams. To have those dreams fade away, —no— torn away from my hands is the worst curse I could have ever endured. All I ask is to give these letters to whom they are addressed to, those who I have a few last words to say. I am gone, but I hope speaking my mind would be a nice way of going out.

Sincerely,  A dead poet

[hunterofartemis151]

I hope that when this fic eventually comes out, yall appreciate the religious research I put into this because my mental health certainly isn't.