#david spade fanfiction

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

requested by: @moosieworld request: Hi I really liked your Tommy Boy fic with Richard Hayden! I was wondering if maybe you can do one where the reader works with Richard and they’re both on the road with Tommy. They get to the hotel and realize there’s only two beds so someone (*cough cough* Richard) is gonna have the share the bed with our dear poor reader…thank you so much!!!

warnings: swearing

“Oh thank god.” I muttered as we pulled up to the motel. Tommy offered to go get the rooms for us while Richard and I unloaded the car. “If we spent another minute on the road I swear I would have thrown myself out of the car.” Richard gave me a look, chuckling awkwardly.

“yeah well…” he shrugged. “Sorry for the way we act. We can’t really stand each other.” I nodded.

“Yeah that’s clear as day.” I laughed. Richard smiled softly at me as Tommy came back.

“so there’s a tiny problem but I’m sure we can sort it out.” He said, rocking on his feet. “They only had one room available.” Richard looked like he was going to strangle Tommy.

“hey.” I put a hand on Richard’s shoulder and took a step between them. “It’s alright. We can figure something out. Like I can sleep on the couch or something.” I offered. The two boys nodded and we dragged our luggage up to the room. “Well crap.” The three of us stood just inside the door staring at the room. Two beds. No couch or sofa.

“I can uh sleep on the floor.” Tommy offered. I shook my head.

“no. We’ll never get you back up.” Richard scoffed. “Think next time. I’ll sleep on the floor.” He grimaced as we looked down at our feet. “Or not.”

“I can sleep in the car…” I started. Both boys turned to look at me, matching thunderous looks on their face. It was probably the first time they had ever agreed on something.

“no!” They cried. I held my hands up in surrender.

“alright then.” I sighed. “So what are we going to do?” Richard rubbed the back of his neck.

“you’re going to have to share with me.” He said, voice barely above a whisper. “Tommy takes up the whole bed so it’s the only way this works out.” He blushed as he looked at me. “Alright?” I nodded.

“alright.” I blushed as I headed into the bathroom to change. I could hear Tommy teasing Richard through the door, knowing the moment Richard retaliated by the resounding ow from Tommy.

“shut up dipshit!” Richard hissed, making me frown. “They don’t need to know that and you’re going to keep your mouth shut for the rest of this trip.”

“fine. Fine.” Tommy said. “But if you two need me to leave…OW! Quit it Richard!” I finished changing and walked out.

“bathroom is free.” I said softly, jerking my thumb over my shoulder. Richard hurried off into the bathroom leading Tommy and I alone.

“I’m sorry you had to get dragged into all this.” Tommy finally said. I looked up at him. “Richard and me. Always fighting.” I shrugged.

“meh. Par for the course. It was that way back home too.” I said. Tommy nodded. “I will admit I hoped you two would figure things out but in the end as long as we can save the company…” I shrugged again. Richard emerged from the bathroom and Tommy took his place.

“ready for bed?” Richard asked after a beat. I nodded and climbed beneath the covers. Richard did the same, the two of us facing each other. We stared at each other. “Did you want me to put a pillow between us?” I shook my head.

“we don’t have one to spare.” Richard smirked.

“I could take one of Tommy’s.” He offered. I giggled and shook my head. He nodded and we kept looking at each other.

“Richard…”

“(Y/N)…” we said at the same time. We laughed and Richard motioned for me to continue.

“well I just wanted…” I smiled at him. “To say thank you. For bringing me along and I mean…this…” Richard blushed.

“oh. It’s nothing.” He breathed out. “Nothing.” I ducked my head and Richard reached out to touch my arm. “Hey I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with us. And that I’m sorry.” I smiled at him.

“Tommy already apologized.” I shrugged. “But I appreciate it.” Richard nodded. Tommy came back and turned out the light. “Night.”

“night.” I whispered back. The next morning, I woke up with my face pressed against Richard’s chest and his arm wrapped around me tightly. I quietly extracted myself with hot cheeks, rushing to the bathroom before heading out to get breakfast. When I had come back, Tommy was packing their luggage back up. Richard was leaning against the car looking at a map. “Hey.” I said softly as I put the box of donuts on the hood. Richard looked at me with a blush.

“hey.” He said. “About this morning…” he started, reaching out to touch my arm. He was interrupted by Tommy coming out with the luggage. “We’ll talk later.” He said with a smile. I nodded, smiling back at him.

[theghostbunnie]

I’m curious but ever since you dropped your Harrison hcs I’ve been thinking about what he would be like when he gets older. Are there any hcs/info you have for him??

I'M SO HAPPY Y'ALL ARE INTERESTED IN MY HCS IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!!! 💖💕💫🩷

I have like two paths I could see my version of older Harrison going down. Let's say roughly age 17 or so, he either swears off using absolutely any of his natural magical ability and keeps his illusion/slide of hand tricks utterly private for the most part. The first being a desperate attempt to regain his parents trust, the second with the card tricks being more of getting shamed out of being open with his peers with his hobbies. I wouldn't wanna see him kept on this path and I often pair it with some major character development story. (In my head atleast, I don't think I'd ever be able to use a fanfiction writing website or have the energy to regularly update one or anything like that. I would definitely maybe write short fics on Tumblr one day.. maybe)

The other option being he actually never stopped working on his talents like that and has steadily gotten so much better. (At the start of the show he accidentally sets David on fire, in much later episodes he's able to make rings of flame, already MAJORR improvement!!) He works on his other abilities, making things levitate ect.

So when they start having these hiccups, often small physical items or spells bursting out of him during strong feelings (leading to panic and embarrassment only making it worse.) Harrison feels like it's a total setback. That his work so far didn't mean anything, he has no idea where his powers come from and as they change he apparently has no idea how to control them after all. Alot of old doubts, and new ones emerge. "Maybe it would've been better to have never had them in the first place."

I like to think after awhile he regains this hold over it, and it was just a sign of like. His magic going through puberty/hj and it turns out stronger in the end.

Other older Harrison HCs include he's definitely a swiftie and jumps up on his bed lipsyncing doing a fucking Matilda as shit floats everywhere.

His formal vest and top hat get switched out for a casual vest and beanie hat (constant hat hair) wouldn't it be so funny if he had a top hat shaped pin on it/hj

His like signature little thing I love putting on his clothes and drawing him with is the ace of spades. Small charms n shit I love it.

His frienemy thing with Nerris as she matures turns more into friend leaning. (Bc like, their dynamic is not 50/50 she is nearly always the one coming at or for HIM 😭 and it's coming from a very childish reasoning- which is okay. Bc she's a child.) So as she gets older and grows out of her issues that caused them to not get along they become closer.

Mostly due to them both being much better friends with Preston and spending time with each other via him.

But since they're older and Preston fills alot of his time with the multiple hobbies he has and Nerris has other friends to hangout with, Harrison is still left on his own sometimes. He goes through these bits of bad mental health and "everyone hates me" thoughts but doesn't really let anyone know about it.

I have this OC Quincy, technically not a camp camp oc I'm actually embarrassed sometimes to add him into things bc he doesn't fit the vibe of cc what so ever but the angst he can make is so good 2 me

He's this demon with magical know-how but no power of hisown. I like to think of Harrison (who notoriously throughout the show wants company.) Kinda ignores all the red flags and "I've always said don't judge a book by it's cover"s his way into accidentally getting manipulated by him. But also getting incredibly helpful magic lessons out of it too before it comes to a head.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Reviving & Re-Casting an Old Idea: Neutralised (1994) [1/?]

For those who didn't know me back when this blog first started, it was not a wrestling or music fanfiction blog, it was a page for my comic book and tv series ideas.

Back then I had 2 ideas that I never quite found time to write for: Brainwaves (A Ghostbusters AU), and Neutralised (a sitcom/drama series set in a mortuary building). Yes, I know the idea of Neutralised seems a bit odd, but I was watching a bunch of 'Chicago Hope' and 'Dead Like Me' and decided to set it in the same universe as 'Chicago Hope'.

So, without further rambling, I give you, part 1 of my rewrites & recasts for:

*Insert Dramatic Thunder Strike Here*

Neutralised (1994):

Set in 1994 in *Elwood Blues Voice* Chicago, Illinois. Inside the grounds of Mortimer & Co. Mortuary Services. The show's main trio are the three grave diggers hired to, well, dig graves.

Mortimer & Co. In Alphabetical Order:

Abraham Machado / Abe / Bram: One of the three grave-diggers

Actor: Alfred Molina

Andreina Neri / Andi: The Building's Nurse

Actress: Robin Wright

Caleb J. Willow / C.J / Cal: One of the three grave-diggers

Actor: Cary Elwes

Dove J. Lews / D.J: Ichabod's Lawyer

Actress: Alfre Woodard

Esmé Verity: The Mortuary Assistant

Actress: Janeane Garofalo

Faustus Sanchez / Faust: Nightshift Security Guard

Actor: Hank Azaria

Grayson Bryant / Gray: Mortimer & Co. Secretary

Actor: Harold Perrineau

Hunter Kingsley / King: Mortimer & Co. Secretary

Actor: Chris Farley

Ichabod Mortimer / Mr Mortimer: The Boss & Owner of the Building

Actor: Danny DeVito

Jared R. Foster / J.R: Nightshift Security Guard

Actor: Kirk Acevedo

Kane Carter / K.C: Dayshift Security Guard

Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Lance Carter: Kane's Brother & An Electrician

Actor: John Goodman

Monday L. Duke / Mona / Mona Lisa: One of the three grave-diggers

Actress: Patricia Arquette

Noam Gold / Doctor No: The Coroner

Actor: Oliver Platt

Omega Finch / Meg: Medical Examiner

Actor: Willem Dafoe

Peyton Blythe: A Female Hearse Driver

Actress: Regina King

Russel Warszawski / Russ: Ichabod's Errand Boy & Winslow's Younger Brother

Actor: Adam Sandler

Sullivan Landon / Sully: Mortimer & Co's Embalmer

Actor: Christopher Lloyd

Tuesday J. Duke / T.J: Monday's Younger Sister

Actress: Reese Witherspoon

Victor Jamison / Vic: Chicago Police's Forensic Science Technician

Actor: Mike Myers

Winslow Warszawski: Russel's Older Brother & A Hearse Driver

Actor: Brad Garrett

Xavier Solomon: The Men's Desairologist

Actor: David Spade

Yancy Haggard: Junior Embalmer

Actor: Kiefer Sutherland

Zoey Knight: The Women's Desairologist

Actor: Geena Davis

[nightguide]

this is actually fanfiction gone rogue now that David Tennant can find the last 'i' in ten if he knew how to calculate the genetics properly to be coded AI fiction than just letting Scully and Mulder (actually 10th male and female doctor's) existing one and one together to save the world by a massive conspiracy forklift made by Zendaya (59th female Doctor) to revive it alone as the ending to the actual reality of being a Theist is why Harper St. James hates reality cuz she really wants to be around the greats that not only that she can think for herself but by the time fame thinks of her (happiness) she humbles herself in reasoning with knowledge first prior to where she went is how Neil Patrick Harris (Toymaker) is relevant Barney Stintson to Harper St. James reality as a married woman working in LA as Gubler's eyes and ears for a new network setup for Rachel Spade to enter in Adam Sandler's universe (like not many movie podcasters could listen to Linna Shaheen's neural privacy like that as a believing woman of hope that Lea Michele could pretty much relate to as her best friend in real life, so what doesn't count for once is that Barney Stintson is not even a man of privacy but Harper is (hence why she is pretty much pissed at everything (Sue's battle angel) that led Harper to giving up on reality the same page as Robin did to Ted on HIMYM.

fan fictions are dangerous in the 2020's now than it is for SAG-AFTRA to catch up on Cillian Murphy's content diagram of the stars since he thinks he has it all when it is now in public commission.

Rogue is now done for according to Mindhunter: Glee according to Rachel Berry's equilibrium from Finn Hudson's death from New Directions, his alleged disappearance is how Eva Green is now actually a prominent member of Harper St. James (Rachel's sister in the UK) league of extraordinary gentlemen in Doctor Who

irrelevant decisions made on Eva's behalf was because of Brittany S Pierce not taking initiative years after the TV show ended because of Hudson's death in reprisal to St. James honour (married to Rogue) now because of timeline events occurring on Deviant Art is actually transgressed with algorithm physics (actually mensa of the art universe now) but the subjectivity of the arts is where Demi Lovato is actually relevant to Green's metaphor likeability (her persona is not as you would see her if known for her lifestyle despite status)

so if you know Demi Lovato, she had been on Glee in an episode with Naya Rivera as her girlfriend but her emotional status quo led to Rachel's reasoning with Finn being underqualified for since he cannot cope with commitment (hence the show's ridiculous comparison to Euphoria as a reason to social commitment with society right now) making Schuester the lethal outcome to go since New Directions success cannot compete with the acapella circus to Anna Kendrick's reasoning with other acapella bands existing within Glee's alternate direction, so where was it actually going to go according to Pitch Perfect's (movie) perspective all along, so all point's given is how Harper (Lovato fan) was actually in tune with Berry's reasoning to New Directions success according to Rogue (Jonathan Groff's character on Doctor Who), so he did what he can to protect Harper from being psychologically tortured from Lovato's life from the conspiracy network that went Rogue due to religious reasoning of Harper St. James in real life according to Will Schuester knowing who Rachel's sister is behind cameras (mockumentary to Waynes World)

so Harper and Demi's circuits stayed true to each other all along with social normative values of true peace (Demi is actually a Muslim woman all along growing up with Harper (who has autism spectrum disorder)

Harper St. James (Harper Oberlin) was actually a Spade (Rachel Berry's real name before her parents made her go TV show Rogue for the West End than Broadway (where the real stars are at) is how she stuck with Jesse just so that Harper can be with him in real life (long lost sister connection in real life to Lea and reader)

[angy-mouse]

What's the weirdest thing you've looked up fanfiction for Mouse, huh??? Huh???

well the reason i asked the question was bc i watched emperors new groove and that reminded me of the time i went thru fanfiction.net's entire archive for kuzco x oc fics multiple times (and i regret nothing that face and david spade's voice? 15-16 year old me was quaking) like thats what i meant by weird like not kinkshaming but 'why does ff exist for this and why am i reading it' vibes

also lots of transformers fics, mostly rescue bots bc thats the one i watched religiously and heatwave fit my 'gruff asshole with a soft heart' thing that i like. and bumbleebee because... idk i just liked bumblebee still do hes cute and funny

looking at my favorites on ff.net theres also randy cunningham 9th grade ninja, miraculous ladybug, both shows i didnt watch at the time but i thought randy and adrien were cute (im watching ml now and hes still a cutie pie) but i dont think thats too weird i was like 16 i feel thats pretty normal

and then ofc the kinky shit that i will never admit on this account

[cdyssey]

Worries

Summary: After the events of "The Hike," Moira sits Johnny down for a talk in the motel room.

Notes: Over the Christmas break, I binged the entirety of Schitt's Creek and fell so much in love with Johnny and Moira that I wanted to write fanfiction for the first time in a year, so here we are. :')

AO3

—

His hair still dripping with the vestiges of his shower, Johnny Rose, clad in his favorite white bathrobe, re-enters the motel room to a familiar trifecta awaiting him on his bed: Moira Rose, her carefully arched brow, and her well-manicured hand placed on the comforter in such a way that her implicit demand is all but spoken: Come here.

“Am I in trouble, Mrs. Rose?” He asks wryly, obediently shuffling to her side. His back is still somewhat stiff from sitting in a waiting room one half of the day and a wheelchair the other, so he’s a little awkward as he lowers himself next to her, trying not to bend in an unpleasant way.

If his wife notices—and he knows that she notices—she only responds with a slight dip in her expression, subtle, but unmistakable for what it is: concern.

Care.

Love.

Sometimes, it positively breaks his heart—how tender his dearest can be.

��Do not am I in trouble me, Mr. Rose,” Moira scolds even as she immediately snakes her arm around his own. “You know the answer to that tonight unless those lovely little pills that the physician prescribed have already affected your presence of mind.”

Instinctively, quite waggishly, he raises a bushy brow. 

“You’ve seen me in an altered state before, Moira.”

“A time or twenty nine, yes, of course. You become delightfully Shakespearean with your wordplay; it is irresistibly attractive.”

“So,” he finishes, a gentle smile on his lips, “given that I’m not regaling you with new vocabulary, you know I’m perfectly here right now.” 

Here in mind.

Here in body.

Here in soul.

Here with her for another tomorrow and another and another in the confoundingly, paradoxically beautiful Schitt’s Creek.

Moira’s gaze softens, melting in all of her skeptical places, and very slowly, very carefully, she leans her head against his shoulder. The familiar scent of her wreathes him—something floral but indescribable, as though she has just stepped out of an exotic Parisian greenhouse. It is the sweetest perfume he has ever known.

“I know that, John, dear,” she sighs heavily. “I do. I do. I was simply... I mean, I suppose I was just besides myself today under the duress of possibly losing you.” Her plump lips tremble in the way he knows she’s trying her best not to cry. “You were so pale and so drawn and so terribly small, and the last time I saw you possessing any of these qualities in spades was when I was giving birth to Alexis.”

“Funny. I don’t recall you being lucid enough to recall Alexis’s birth.”

“John!” Lifting her head from his shoulder, Moira bats his arm indignantly. “I am not being a wisecrack.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles as she leans against him again. As a peace offering, he briefly presses his lips against her forehead, and in return, one of her hands reaches over to his right wrist, which is still encircled with the patient bracelet from Elmdale Hospital.

She twists it counterclockwise so that she can better view his name. He had forgotten to cut it off before taking a shower.

“Moira”—he glances down at the tiny, printed number which marks him as seventy-three years old—“I’m fine now. You know that, right?”

That piercing blue gaze of hers moves from the bracelet to his own eyes, and it is clear that she is searching him for the veracity of his words—though he imagines that she won’t be able to find the fault that her paranoia tends to dread.

Lying to her has never been his desire nor forte.

“I know that,” she concedes with a tentative smile. “I simply adore you, sweetheart—endlessly—and so when it comes to you, my worries work ahead of my sensibilities. My head, prodigious though it normally is, lags behind my heart, my fears, and all of these feelings in my chest.”

“Is there any way I can assuage those worries, dear?”

“I have a list approximately thirty-two items long.”

Johnny reflexively laughs, and his wife reflexively bats him again, but the parentheses framing her eyes are wrinkled in the beginnings of amusement all the same.

“Start with your first five,” he replies, “and then we’ll go from there.”

“One”—by this point, Moira has worked her thumb beneath his bracelet, lifting it off of his wrist with a disdainful expression—“you go into the bathroom as soon as we are done conversing and cut this dreadful reminder of our past loose from your life! It is ugly and unbefitting, and I much prefer your Rolex.”

She withdraws her thumb from his wrist in the same moment that he nods amicably. 

“I can do that. Hospital bracelets are so out of vogue anyway.”

She smiles at him, eyes twinkling.

“Deuxième, dearest, you must assure me that you will strictly follow the physician's orders to scale back on potentially inflammatory food items. No more cinnamon rolls every morning or late night runs to the café for a milkshake.”

“I’ve never gone on—“ He starts indignantly (and guiltily), but he’s just as immediately cut off.

“Shush!” She places her index finger on his lips. “I know you haven’t been going to the apothecary for lip balm once a week. Your lips are perfectly, delectably moist, and David would have already complained about your constant presence in the store were your insinuations true.”

Another reason he doesn’t lie to Moira Rose.

She unfailingly sniffs him out when he does.

“Fine, fine,” he sighs placatingly. “No more milkshake runs.”

“Or daily cinnamon rolls,” she says pointedly.

“Or daily cinnamon rolls,” he parrots back with an eye roll. And now it’s Moira’s turn to laugh in that rich, throaty way of hers; she squeezes his hand warmly, and without thinking, he squeezes back.

“Tres, you must tell me that you love me at least three times a day from this point onwards, so that if you do suddenly kick the proverbial bucket after sampling Twyla’s meatloaf special one day, I can always reflect to our children, friends, and sundry admirers that the last thing that you told me was that you loved me.”

Johnny stares at her incredulously.

“Aren’t you being just a little facetious now?”

And, because Moira Rose can give an incredulous look just as well as she can receive one, she offers one right back.

“Hardly not, John! I am just covering all of our necessary bases in the advent of your untimely demise.”

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“You are very welcome!” 

She either didn’t catch the sarcasm or absolutely did and is actively choosing to ignore it—he isn't sure which of the two options is worse.

“Quattuor,” she murmurs next, and this time, Johnny can detect a new seriousness in his wife’s voice. She skims her thumb up and down the length of his gnarled hand and avoids looking him in the eye. “And this one is important, Mr. Rose, so please pay me the utmost attention... but I would desire it very much if you would be vigilant about informing me of your—ah—conditions from now on.”

She glances at him then, her expression uncharacteristically, alarmingly bashful.

“Honey...” He tries, but she brings her head off his shoulder to shake it sadly.

“You were lifting paraphernalia for me this morning when you strained yourself, and you said nary a word until you almost passed out on the dirty floor.” Moira’s thick lashes flutter with a rapidity that isn’t quite natural, and when she looks away, she swipes what he knows she imagines to be a surreptitious hand across her eyes. “I cannot name the emotion that such a sequence of events made me feel because my former therapist, Dr. London Aubergine, advised me to refrain from giving my negative emotions a voice... but, John, I—“ 

She stops suddenly, her breath hitching, but Johnny doesn’t need to hear another word to understand the gist of what she is saying. With a slow deliberation that is a message in and of itself, he gently cups his hand against Moira’s cheek to command her attention, and, with the faintest of sighs, she leans into his touch.

“There, there, sweetheart,” he says. “If it wasn’t moving all the furniture today, maybe it would have been cleaning the windows tomorrow or changing sheets the day after that. What happened today—and again, let me remind you that I’m okay now—wasn’t your fault.”

“As if you would tell me if it were, though!” She whines accusingly, tilting her head away from his hand.

The sudden recoil gives him whiplash; he instantly misses the warmth of her cheek against his palm.

“I don’t like for you to have to worry!”

“But, John, I want to worry for you. Nay, I demand the right to worry for you!” Her fingernails, sharp and black, fortified by acrylic and long, are beginning to dig into the hand that she is holding. “I love you beyond reason, and I know that can occasionally be overwhelming—goodness knows I can overreact—but I would rather overreact than understate you in a potential crisis. So, please, if you want to regard my feelings, tell me your truth and nothing but your truth.”

Moira takes a deep breath, but her grip on him doesn’t quite relax in the same way.

“I am a nine times shortlisted Daytime Emmy candidate, Mr. Rose." She draws herself to full height where she sits, her shoulders regally postured. "I can handle it—I assure you.”

It's hard to argue with her when she puts it like that in exactly those terms.

His dark eyes crinkle.

“C’mere,” Johnny says, finally extracting his hand from hers so he can pull her into a fuller embrace. He wraps his arms around her back, all tenderness, as she rest her chin in the crook of his neck. He can feel the tattoo of her heart beating rhythmically next to his chest, each thud an elegant melody he doesn't mind hearing again and again. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel this way, Moira. I’ve just never had much practice with, well, talking about my problems at great length. I can be prideful like that, you know—stubborn.”

“Oh, I know that—trust me, dear. You are fifty percent of the children’s psychological complexes.”

Though he knows she can’t see it, he levels her a dirty look.

“Who’s being the wisecrack now?”

“Sorry, darling! Force of habit.”

“But... seriously, Moira,” he continues, beginning to rub circles into the back of her pajama vest, “I’ll do better on that—on telling you things, okay?” A pause.

A beat.

Her heart continues to beat, and his does, too, the smallest reminders of their shared vivacity.

“Okay,” she breathes back, the low affirmation tickling his ear. He doesn’t have enough time to process how that makes him feel before she disentangles herself from him once again, a small smile pressed upon her lips.

“And now, a hearty Italian cinque to finish us off. For my fifth item, John, I would like you to kiss me now as though we have never kissed before, but also as though we have been kissing all of our lives.” She raises a suggestive brow. “It is a fine line between these polarized extremes. Are you up for the challenge?”

With a loud laugh, he does not quite respond to this particular inquiry with words.

[rogerina-deacon]

APPARENTLY THERE’S CHRIS FARLEY X DAVID SPADE FANFICTION AND NOW IM DYING THEIR SHIP NAME IS SPARLEY

[1987vampire]

ok I jus officially started working on this version, if u wanna read the fic it'll be based on, its on wattpad

everybody shh i’m turning something that was originally a Lost Boys (1987) fic into a lesbian vampire story. SHHHHHHHH. 

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

AN: Happy 60th birthday David spade!

CJ sat with his arm over my shoulders. Cate and Kerry were busy in the kitchen and Rory was sitting upside down in his chair. Jim had fallen asleep. I leaned my head on CJ’s shoulder.

“wanna blow this popsicle stand?” He whispered. I shrugged. “Come on. Let’s go bug Bridget at the mall.” He got up and waited for me before heading out to his van.

”why do we have to go bug her?” I asked, trying to hide my yawn. “Why can’t we just go see a movie or something? It is your birthday after all.” CJ shushed me and gave me a playful dirty look.

“and they all forgot it. So let’s go.” He pouted. I rolled my eyes and got in the car. CJ backed out and headed in the direction of the mall.

“you’re incredibly annoying sometimes you know.” I said, looking over at him. CJ laughed and shrugged.

“yeah but you love me anyway.” He said. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window pointedly. “Don’t you run away from your feelings.” CJ reached over and poked my arm. I bit my lip to try to stop a smile but he caught. “Ah! There it is!”

“yeah yeah yeah.” I waved my hand at him. “I love you.” CJ took my hand and kissed the back of it. “But you’re still fucking annoying.” He shrugged as he looked over at me.

“yeah well you’re no ball of sunshine all the time either sweet cheeks.” He teased. CJ squeezed my hand before kissing it again. “Anyway. Bridget is on her way home by now. As long as Kyle didn’t show up so it’s just us walking around anyway.”

“then why did you say we were going to go bug her?” I asked. CJ shrugged.

“because I’m bored?” He deadpanned. “We needed an excuse to get out of that house.”

“You really are lucky I love you CJ.” I said, getting out of the van as he parked. “Otherwise I’d have stayed there while you went and terrorized the teens.” CJ laughed as he threw his arm over my shoulders. “Now come on. I still need to buy you a birthday present.”

“bit late for that isn’t it?” He joked. “Considering it’s the day of.”

“keep talking like that and you won’t even get the surprise I had planned for you.” I shot back, intertwining our fingers and leading us into the mall.

“ok I’ll shut up now.”

[myveryownfanfiction]

I hung up the phone and sighed as I ran a hand down my face. Running my grandfather’s auto parts store was one thing but taking his clients was another thing entirely. After leaving Callahan Auto for personal reasons, I never thought I would stay in the car industry. There was a knock on my door and I pulled myself together quickly. 

“Come in!” I called before turning to the papers on my desk. The door opened as I read the name of the company on the sheet of paper my grandfather had sent over. Callahan. My head snapped up and I hoped beyond hope that it would be Big Tom Callahan. My eyes locked with the man walking into my office and I groaned. “You.” I whined. I didn’t notice how Richard’s eyebrows rose and his expression fell. I ran a hand down my face and stood, motioning to the chairs in front of me when I noticed Tommy behind him. 

“I’m sorry.” I heard Richard say quietly but I ignored him. 

“(Y/N)! Long time no see!” Tommy said, just as energetic as I had always known him to be. “I graduated college finally. If you didn’t hear.” I nodded and gave him a small smile. 

“Congrats Tommy!” I said with forced excitement. I looked between the two and took a second to realize something was wrong. “Wait. Where’s Tom?” The look on Richard’s face didn’t escape me this time. “What happened?” My voice dropped into almost a whisper. 

“My dad died.” Tommy said quietly. I held out my hand to him and he took it. 

“I’m sorry Tommy. He was always the nicest man I could have ever wanted to know.” I said. Richard looked at me before jumping in. 

“Callahan is about to go under. We are trying to sell Tom’s latest idea to get the money to keep the company going. They are brake pads.” He said. I nodded. 

“I remember those. He finally got them going. Good.” I looked down at the paperwork that my grandfather had given me. He said not to buy anything under any circumstances but he didn’t know what was going on. “We’ll take a hundred.” Richard’s eyes widened and Tommy looked over at him with a smile. 

“Seriously? Without the pitch?” Richard questioned. I nodded. 

“Tom was like a father to me and he helped me during the worst time of my life.” A look was shot at Richard. “I wouldn’t know half of what I know now if it wasn’t for him. So yes I want a hundred brake pads from Callahan. And if you need any help selling them, I want in.” Tommy stood up to hug me. I laughed as he pulled me out of my seat and I watched as Richard’s face lit up. Once the paperwork was done, the boys followed me home so I could pack for the trip. I left the two in my kitchen as I did my work. 

“What did you do to them?” I heard Tommy whisper to Richard. I could imagine the look Richard was giving Tommy at the moment. Taking a second to make sure they were not outside my door, I reached under my pillow for the picture that I kept there. I bit my lip to stop myself from letting out a sigh as I looked down at the slightly younger Richard standing with his arm around me and his head on top of mine. Longing filled me as I tucked the picture in between the clothes in my suitcase. Finishing my packing and zipping the suitcase, I realized I hadn’t heard Richard’s response. Not like it mattered anyway. There was a knock on my door and my head snapped up. 

“You were taking a while. I thought I’d come and see if you needed help.” Richard stood in the doorway awkwardly. I nodded and pointed to the second suitcase. 

“I need some clothes put in there.” I said as I grabbed my toiletry bag. We worked in silence as we did our respective jobs. 

“I’m sorry for what I had done to you.” Richard said quietly as he stood on one side of the bed with a suitcase in his hand. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know you were in the room when I threw the book. I thought….” Richard broke off and his voice broke. A hand ran down his face and it looked like he was on the verge of tears. “I thought I was alone and that the book would fall before it hit anything. I can’t throw.” A bitter laugh broke the silence. “Then again that should have told me that I would nearly hit you with it.” 

“Richard, you know that wasn’t why I left.” I said quietly. Richard’s eyes met mine and I took a deep breath. “I left because even though I had forgiven you, you couldn’t forgive yourself. You didn’t hit me. You didn’t even scare me. I could hear the yelling before I walked into the room. I was going to check on you when that book flew through the door.” I played with the hem of my shirt while I waited for his answer. 

“I didn’t know.” Richard said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I still feel bad about it though.” I laughed at his expression before climbing over the bed to hug him. 

“Richard do you really think that after the things I’ve thrown and nearly hit you with I would leave over a book?” Richard laughed as well while catching me in a hug. I gently pulled him back with me as I fell back onto the bed. He came with me and we stayed there for a little while before Tommy came in. He smiled at the scene he had walked in on. 

“So are we ready to head out on the road?” Tommy asked as Richard started to get up. I took the offered hand and followed the boys out of my house and into the car. It was going to be a long ride but with a guy like Richard, what more could I want?

[myveryownfanfiction]

AN: I had to. I just had to. And if you haven’t watched Tommy Boy, I highly suggest it. 

I looked over at Richard as he drove us to the airport. His jaw was set and I could see that he did not appreciate Tom Callahan sending him to pick up Tommy nor did he appreciate Tom sending me along. Richard never liked me in his car for some reason and I had long ago stopped trying to figure out why. 

“Did Callahan really need to send both of us to get his idiot son?” Richard huffed. I swallowed the lump in my throat before answering. 

“Well you know Tommy can be a handful.” I suggested quietly. “And sometimes you aren’t the most patient person in the world.” Richard glanced over at me with a smile. 

“So you keep reminding me.” He chuckled before reaching over to hold my hand. I smiled and relaxed a little in my seat. “I am working on it though.” Richard squeezed my hand before putting his hand back on the steering wheel. 

“I know you are Richard.” I remarked as I shifted in my seat. “But I doubt Tom Callahan knows that.” Richard shrugged. We carried on in silence before Richard spoke again.

“Do you know why I never like you in the car when I’m driving?” His voiced shook. I bit my lip as I shook my head. 

“No. I always assumed it was because you loved the car more than me.” I whispered. Richard pulled up at a red light and turned towards me in shock.

“What?” He exclaimed. Reaching over he took my hand again and held it tightly, even after the light turned green and he had started driving again. “No! Definitely not!” I squeezed his hand before pulling it into my lap. “I’m sorry I ever gave you that idea (Y/N). But no. I don’t like you in the car when I’m driving because you’re too distracting.” He glanced at me and winked. “And I mean that in the best way possible. I love being distracted by you.” I smiled at my lap and interlocked our fingers. 

“Just not when you’re driving.” I finished. Richard chuckled and nodded. 

“Exactly.” We pulled up on the tarmac and Richard turned to look at me. “I love you (Y/N). So much more than this car. If something happened to the car, sure I’d be sad.” Richard shrugged as he paused. “But I would be devastated if anything ever happened to you.” Richard leaned over and kissed my cheek before pulling back to look at me. 

“Honest?” I asked, my voice shaking. Richard nodded. He let go of my hand to reach up and cupped my cheeks. 

“I cross my heart.” He whispered. I smiled as I reached up to hold his wrists. “I love you.” I blushed before ducking my head a little. 

“I love you too.” I responded as Richard gently titled my head back up. He kissed me gently before pulling away.

“Better not keep Tommy Boy waiting anymore.” He joked before getting out of the car and jogging over to my side to open my door. I laughed as his hand appeared in front of me. Taking it, Richard helped me out and closed the door. He wrapped his arm around me as we waited for Tommy to get off the plane. “Just a head’s up but you’re in the back. I’m gonna need my full attention on the road if he’s in the car.” I laughed as Richard whispered in my ear. 

“He is a handful.” I whispered back as we watched Tommy struggle to get off the plane. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Richard rolled his eyes before tugging me along to meet Tommy. 

[myveryownfanfiction]

AN: By no one’s demand, we are hitting another David Spade movie, Black Sheep. No one talk to me for a couple weeks, I’m gonna be down a hole of this adorable man. Someone needs to remind me to add him to my masterlist though. 

I sat at my desk at the campaign office answering phones all day. I sighed as I picked up the phone and put it to my ear. 

“Donnelly campaign office. How may I help you?” I put on the fakest nice voice I could as I ran a hand down my face. I picked up a pen and started to tap it against my notepad. 

“(Y/N)! Babe! Guess what?” I perked up as I recognized Steve’s voice. 

“What did you do Steve?” I asked, slightly exasperated but excited all the same. 

“I may or may not have gotten us a promotion.” He teased. My eyes went wide and I dropped the pen I was playing with. 

“Steve you didn’t! What are we going to be doing?” I exclaimed. I smiled at Steve’s laugh. 

“It may not seem like a promotion right now but once we’re done, we get to be on Donnelly’s staff.” Steve hesitated. “Right now we have to watch his brother Mike.” I sighed. I knew Mike well. This was going to be a handful. 

“That all?” I asked as I ran a hand through my hair. I could hear him sigh on the other end and I started to pack up my desk. “Steve, I’m in. Anything that gets me out of answering phones all day.” His laugh came over the phone again and I grinned. 

“Good. I’m waiting outside.” He said. I looked up out the front window and laughed as he waved in at me. I waved back and motioned for him to come in. 

“Get in here doofus.” I said before hanging up. He put his phone in his pocket as he came in. I finished packing my stuff and put the box on top of my desk. Steve hugged me quickly before he took the box in his arms.

“Come on. Let’s go drop this off at home.” He nodded towards the door and we headed to his car. I waited in the car while he put the box in the trunk. 

“Hey baby.” A voice made me turn my head to Steve’s window. “What you doin’ sittin’ in a car all by your lonesome? How bout you get on out and come with me?” I raised my eyebrow at the man that was leaning into the car through the window. 

“How bout no?” I responded. I caught Steve’s eye through the rearview mirror. He looked over at the guy and bit back a laugh. “Besides I got a boyfriend. He’s putting something in the trunk so you better scram before he finishes.” The guy took a look at the back of the car and laughed. I felt the car shift as Steve slammed the trunk shut. 

“Hey pal. Mind leaving my girl/guy alone?” Steve was actually being polite for once in his life. When the man didn’t move, Steve looked at me and smirked. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I moved over to open the driver’s side door from the inside. That made the guy move and Steve got in. The man moved back to lean on Steve’s door and I shook my head. “Look man she’s/he’s not interested so why don’t you be nice and move along?”

“You little shit.” The man said before reaching to grab Steve. He leaned back towards me before he started chuckling. 

“Hey I got something for you. Kind of a souvenir.” Steve laughed as he looked at me. I set my jaw and shook my head. 

“Steve. Don’t.” I warned. He waved a hand at me. 

“What is it?” The guy asked. Steve smiled before flipping him the bird and driving away. The guy fell into the street as Steve waved out the window. His laugh bounced in the small space while I smacked his arm. 

“Steve Dodds you asshole.” I scolded. He laughed harder and put his arm around me. Even though I was mad at him, I still let him. 

“Come on (Y/N). I’m just having a little fun.” Steve tried to sooth me. 

“One day you’re going to get in serious trouble.” I warned. “I don’t want to be there when you do.” Steve pulled up to a stop light and kissed my cheek. It was quiet for a second before Steve looked over at me. 

“Did you think I could have taken him?” Steve finally asked. I shrugged and tried to keep the smile off my face. Steve started to laugh and I had to bite my lip to keep from giggling. “You don’t!” I started to laugh and shake my head. 

“I never said that.” I pointed out as I gently poked his arm. Steve nodded and smiled at me. 

“You thought I could seriously take him?” He asked. I nodded and Steve bobbed his head. “You thought I could take him.” 

“And if you couldn’t, I would be there to help you. Like always.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. Steve tightened his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. 

“I know babe.” He smiled as he drove off again. “I know.”

[myveryownfanfiction]

Requests are open for the holidays! As always must be 18+ to request otherwise I will tell u to check header and request rules if no age shown. If u are a minor DNI and if I see it I will just delete ur ask. Simple as that.

my list of characters for this r whoever is in my master list. I’m also open to a few new characters cuz the mcu has expanded and so has some horror movies.

ill be having scene starters up soon The idea is curtesy of @writing-good-vibes from Halloween and I hope there’s a holiday one soon too. (Btw if u like my brad dourif stories check her out cuz wowza is she amazing at this). See y’all soon with those scene starters!