#kiefer sutherland imagine

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @eclecticwildflowers, @illiana-mystery, @onedirectionlovers2014

warnings: swearing, talk of menstruation, ace is a little bit of an asshole but it’s for the good of reader

I drove another car into the garage and set it up for ace. He smiled at me as I climbed out and popped the hood for him.

“thanks babe.” Ace said as he kissed my cheek. “Wanna work on this one?”

“Sure.” I said, smiling back at him as I secured the hood and looked into the engine. “What’s wrong with it?” There was a twinge in my stomach as I leaned into the car a little. I waved it off mentally and looked back over at ace.

“needs a new filter.” Ace shrugged. “Might as well check the oil while you’re in there.” I nodded and pulled aces tools over to me.

“what about the fan belt?” I asked. Ace moved next to me to look.

“yeah might as well change that too.” He nodded. “Let me go get it for you.” I cringed as there was another twinge of pain across my abdomen. I ran my hand across where the pain flared before leaning into the car to work on removing the parts that needed to be removed. “Parts are by the tools. I’m going to work on an oil change next to you.” Ace put his hand on my back so I didn’t jump. I nodded as I winced in pain again.

“sounds good. Thanks.” I shot him a smile and he nodded. His eyebrows furrowed before he walked over to start on the car like he said he would. Throughout the rest of work I was doing, I continued to wince and even had to bite back a soft moan of pain. Ace kept glancing over at me every time I did. “Hnng. Fuck.” I groaned and ace walked over, wiping his hands on a cloth as he grabbed the back of my coveralls, tugging me off the car.

“you’re not ok.” He said, his voice low. “What’s wrong?” I shook my head and smiled at him.

“I’m fine ace.” I tried to assure him. “Let me get back to the car.” I went to move back to the car but his grip on my collar tightened. “Ace. I’m serious.”

“you’re not fine. Everyone here can see it. Eyeball even mentioned something. And eyeball doesn’t notice anything.” I frowned at him.

“ace. I’m serious. I’m fine.” I tried to assure him. Ace sighed and let go of my collar. I went to love back to the car when ace ducked down and put his shoulder against my stomach. Standing up he tipped me over his shoulder, arm across the back of my legs. “Ace!” I cried, making some of the other mechanics look over. Eyeball and Vince started laughing as they walked ace carry me to his office. “Put me down you asshole!” I pounded on his back but it didn’t make him stop. “Merrill!”

“sit.” He said as he dumped me on the couch and gave me a pointed look. I pouted at him as he went around his desk to grab something from a drawer. He tossed me the small bottle and I caught it. I frowned at the bottle and looked back up at him. “Take those.” Ace rounded the desk again to go to the mini fridge in the corner. He pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to me as he sat down next to me.

“pain killers?” I asked as I did what he said. “Why do you have pain killers in your desk?” Ace gave me a wicked grin. “What aren’t you telling me ace? Did you get hurt?” I started to look him over, bottle shaking in my hand as I ran my hand over his arm. Ace caught my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“they aren’t for me.” He assured me. “They’re for you. That drawer is yours. Didn’t you see me unlock it?” I shook my head. “Well it’s locked. I have a key. I’ll get you one made. But come here. Look.” He pulled me up and unlocked the drawer again. Ace waited for me to open it and I looked over at him with a soft smile.

“ace.” I breathed out as I sat in his chair to rifle through the drawer.

“it’s everything you need for…uh…that time of the month.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know I’m not the best talking about it. Or even waiting for it to end.” He chuckled and I rolled my eyes with a smile. “But you always hurt when it comes round. And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Ace pulled me back up and wrapped his arms around me, casually taking the bottle and dropping it back into the drawer. “Eyeball mentioned once that you accidentally bled through your coveralls. Whenever someone asked he said you sat in paint. And I vaguely remembered washing them out later so you wouldn’t be embarrassed.” I looked at him and tried to think through when that happened.

“I…I don’t remember that.” I admitted. Ace smiled.

“good.” He leaned his head against mine. “As embarrassing as that has to be, I’m glad you have no idea what I’m talking about. So I stocked up on what you have at your place and what you left at mine. I figured it covered everything.” Ace handed me the key, kissing me softly. “In case you need anything else today. And take the next couple days off. Relax. Sleep. I know you feel exhausted sometimes. Just…” he shrugged and kissed me again. “We’ll cuddle when we get home and wash up.” I nodded and laughed.

“and to think most guys would be embarrassed about this. More than me finding out I bled through my coveralls.” I said, cupping his cheek. “Thank you.” Ace smiled and tugged me closer.

“of course. It’s the least I can do.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Anything for you sweets.”

[queenlakiefer]

Saw this picture on Facebook and had to edit this and put Edgar there because it is totally something he would do 🤣

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT NANCY AND ACE GOING TO A CITY FAIR AND NANCY SEES A STAND SELLING BLOOD HOUND PUPPIES AND ACE CAVES SEEING HER PICK OUT THE SHY SCARED LITTLE RUNT IN THE CORNER AND LOVE ON IT SO HE BUYS HER THAT ONEEEEE

[pumpkincottageart]

The Lost Boys

the first image is 90's animation style

I loved drawing these four vampires, although Marko and his jacket were the most complicated

[fics-not-tragedies]

January 2024 Music Prompts - Spotify Wrapped edition

♪ Hello again! Yes, I'm finally back, at last. Let's start new year with something great: music prompts ♪🎵🎶

♪ Since getting your Spotify Wrapped is such a huge event every year (at least for me, who listens to the same 5 artists and even tho I still get surprised, lol), I decided to surprise you with a little prompt event.

♪ I've chosen 15 songs from my 2023 Wrapped playlist and a lyric (or few) for each one of them that just has THE vibe (y'know):

1. Own My Mind ♫ Måneskin I'm prayin' at your altar if you know what I mean.

2. Dinner & Diatribes ♫ Hozier I’d suffer hell if you'd tell me/What you'd do to me tonight.

3. Kiwi ♫ Harry Styles She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes/Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect.

4. Electricity ♫ Arctic Monkeys Tell me something I don’t already know/Like how'd you get your kisses to fill me with electricity?

5. Francesca ♫ Hozier Though I know my heart would break/I'd tell them, "Put me back in it".

6. Honey (Are You Coming?) ♫ Måneskin I'm gonna show you how this Italian amor/It's gonna love you harder than ever before/You will like it.

7. Don't Blame Me ♫ Taylor Swift I would fall from grace/Just to touch your face.

8. For Your Love ♫ Måneskin I wanna be the first man you look at tonight/I wanna be stuck in your head and make you go wild.

9. Stuck ♫ Thirty Seconds to Mars I've been lost in your eyes all afternoon/The more I drift, the closer I get to you.

10. Mammamia ♫ Måneskin They ask me why I'm so hot, 'cause I'm italiano.

11. Nobody ♫ Hozier I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint/I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave/But I want you to know that I've had no love like your love.

12. I Can See You ♫ Taylor Swift But what would you do if I went to touch you now?/What would you do if they never found us out?/What would you do if we never made a sound?

13. Baby Said ♫ Måneskin Baby said, "Let me taste your silhouette/You can talk between my legs"/Uh-uh, uh, uh, know you really want to.

14. Cuff It ♫ Beyonce I wanna go higher, can I sit on top of you?

15. I Wanna Be Your Dog ♫ John McCrea So messed up, I want you here/In my room, I want you here/Now we're gonna be face-to-face/And I'll lay right down in my favorite place.

♪ You can now start making request for the following list of characters:

1. Keanu Reeves along with his following characters/movies:

John Wick & the John Wick movies franchise,

Constantine & the movie,

Johnny Utah & Point Break,

Jonathan Harker & Bram Stoker’s Dracula,

Neo & The Matrix,

dr Julian Mercer,

Jack Traven & Speed;

2. Riccardo Scamarcio along with:

Santino D’Antonio;

3. Andrew Hozier Byrne;

4. Tom Hiddleston along with his following characters/movies:

Sir Thomas Sharpe & Crimson Peak,

Loki & Avengers/Thor,

Adam & Only Lovers Left Alive,

dr Robert Laing & High Rise,

Jonathan Pine & The Night Manager;

5. Henry Cavill along with his following characters/movies:

Geralt of Rivia & The Witcher,

Walter Marshall & Nomis,

Capt. Syverson & Sand Castle,

Napoleon Solo & The Man from U.N.C.L.E.,

August Walker & MI: Fallout,

6. Alexander Skarsgård along with his following characters/movies:

Eric Northman & True Blood,

Leo Beiler & Mute,

Gadi Becker & The Little Drummer Girl,

sergeant Brad “Iceman” Colbert & Generation Kill,

7. Peaky Blinders franchise along with the following characters:

Thomas ‘Tommy’ Shelby,

Alfie Solomons,

8. Supernatural franchise along with the following characters:

Dean Winchester,

Sam Winchester,

9. The X Files franchise along with the following characters:

Dana Scully,

Fox Mulder,

10. Kiefer Sutherland along with his following characters/movies:

Jack Bauer & 24,

president Tom Kirkman & Designated Survivor,

David & The Lost Boys.

Please send in a number with the song/lyric you fancy + a character from those listed above, first come - first serve, as always.

If there are any questions don’t be afraid to ask them, I’m always all ears for y’all!

♪ LET'S CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF 2024 ✨

[queenlakiefer]

YES

At the Santa Carla Boardwalk

Y/N: *pulls ChapStick out of pocket*

David: What flavor is that?

Y/N: *applying chapstick* Hm? Oh, it’s peach flavored.

David: Can I try it?

Y/N: *holds ChapStick out towards him*

David: *grabs Y/n's chin and kisses them*

David: *pulls away and licks his lips*

David: “You’re right. It does taste like peach’s.”

Y/N: *brain stops working*

David: *continues walking* “Keep up, Y/n, or else you’ll fall behind.”

[forthegothicheroine]

Kiefer Sutherland says that when playing David in The Lost Boys, he saw a pretty girl and tried to do a fancy motorcycle trick, then wiped out and broke his wrist, and the black gloves are to cover up a mini cast.

This is the most David thing I can possibly imagine.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @mikey-stardust-way

warnings: swearing, blood

I frowned as the boardwalk started shutting down around me. Looking over the beach one last time, I turned back towards the boardwalk. My eyes scanned the faces as they passed me. I kicked the front wheel of my bike when I got to it. Climbing on, I started it and rode home.

“and I’m alone for the night.” I sighed as I read the note left on the door. “Great. Just great.” I unlocked the door and headed in. Leather jacket and boots left by the couch as I headed to my room.

I face planted on my bed as I sighed. Awkwardly shimming, I managed to get my pants off and thrown haphazardly in the corner of my room. I had left my window open before I left and there was a chill in the room. I groaned into my pillow as I felt tears prick my eyes. Just because David had stood me up did not mean I had to cry about it.

“(Y/N)?” I jumped up, surprised and scared at the familiar voice at my window. I looked over and saw David sitting on my window sill.

“how the fuck did you get up here?” I exclaimed. “And why do you have blood on you?” David looked down at him hands and smiled at me. “What the fuck?!” I screamed.

“(Y/N)! Please don’t!” David said as I scrambled back from him.

“whatever you do please at least let me die with pants on.” I cried, tears pricking my eyes in fear. “Even though I don’t want to die. I’ll give you whatever you want just please leave me alone. Don’t kill me.” I scrambled to get my pants back on and quickly made a cross with my fingers. David raised his eyebrows at me before looking away.

“you know that doesn’t work.” He said finally. David looked back at me, fangs having disappeared and slowly climbing into my room. He stayed by the window and made slow movements. “But I won’t kill you. I’m not here for that. Although in hindsight sight I should have cleaned up before rushing after you.”

“ya think?” I said, slowly lowering my hands. “Then why did you come here?”

“I…I missed our date.” David murmured. “I went to where you normally park and…” he sighed before running a hand through his hair. “You weren’t there. So I came here.” David leaned against the window sill. “I thought I’d surprise you. That you’d be happy to see me.”

“if you were a bloodsucking vampire i think I’d be more happy to see you.” I shot back. David nodded.

“so that’s it…” he nodded slowly. “I guess…I’ll see you around…” David moved to climb back through the window.

“so you aren’t going to kill me?” I asked as he ducked down. “You’re just going to sit here and talk?”

“if that’s alright.” David said, looking at me in surprise. “I never wanted to kill you. I’ve loved you since I saw you for the first time. I’d give up immortality for you.”

"Why? I mean its immortality." I said, furrowing my eyebrows. "Never die. Live a thousand lifetimes. Why give that up for me?" David smiled at me.

"Why wouldn't I? I love you. And even if you don't want to see me again because of this, well..." David shrugged. "I'll still love you. I'll still watch over you." We were quiet for a minute before I slowly walked over to my bed. Sitting down on it, I eyed him as he settled more against the window sill.

"Haven't said that before." I said. David nodded.

"I know." He said. "But I do."

"Good." I said, playing with my fingers. "Because I love you too." David smiled softly at me.

"So does that mean we're still good?" He asked finally. I nodded.

"As long as you don't try to kill me or drink my blood yeah." I confirmed. David smiled again as he pushed off the window sill.

"I can promise I won't." He said, taking my hand in his as he sat down next to me. "I can't promise the fangs won't come out though." "Why not?" I asked. David smirked at me.

"Do you know how many times I've had to hold back when I've buried my face in your neck when we..." I started laughing, leaning on David as he smiled at me. "Yeah. The fangs come out and I swear to all things good it is so fucking hard to restrain myself. Everything just goes out the damn window." David relaxed as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"David, promise me one thing." I said, looking up at him.

"Anything." He swore.

"If you do happen to bite me, don't do it anywhere anyone can see. And don't drink my blood." I said. David kissed my forehead.

"I will do my best." He promised.

[queenlakiefer]

Vape Shop (Lost boys imagine)

Author’s note: the inspiration for this imagine came from an actual shop in my hometown called ‘Vamp Vapes’ and so this the lost boys imagine was born 😂🤣

~~~~

Y/N: I need a vape, come on guys let’s go in here.

Edgar: Hold it! We can’t go in there!

Y/N: Why not?

Alan: It’s called ‘Vamp Vapes’, Y/N. Don’t you think that’s a bit suspicious?

Edgar nodded in agreement.

Y/N scoffs.

Y/N: Oh come on guys! Wouldn’t that be a bit too much of a give away?! What vampires are going to be stupid enough to open a shop and call it ‘Vamp Vapes’?

*Meanwhile*

Paul: We did it, bud! Our own vape shop!

Marko: Let the good times roll!

Author’s note: Me again. Yeah, David and Dwayne are clearly the brains of the lost boys; no offence to Marko and Paul (We all love you 🥰❤️)

[thaliawashere]

Preteen me fell in love with Donald Sutherland in 1981. My parents took me to see Eye of the Needle. Yeah, I know, I'm Gen X, my siblings are all Boomers. I was an old 12. Sutherland played Henry Faber, a ruthless Nazi spy. His piercing blue eyes and swoonworthy demeanor seduced the leading lady as well as everyone in the theater. The quintessential bad boy.

I would later read Ken Follett's novel on which the film was based. My imagination wouldn't allow any other visualization of Faber except for Donald Sutherland.

As a teenager my girlfriends had crushes on his son Kiefer. Not I. He was Donald lite. Give me that rakish grin and sardonic wit. There was no one like him in Hollywood. There never will be again. Godspeed, Donald.

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

One of my fav things to imagine is like- actually putting me myself into my self insert shoes. Like I'm the actor for said character. And I just love the thought of my S/I [or me myself] acting in Stand By Me with Kiefer Sutherland THEN being in The Lost Boys with him like were just that close that we'd be known for being super close and really good co-actors and

[greensparty]

Remembering Donald Sutherland 1935-2024

Actor Donald Sutherland has died at 88. Of the 200 acting credits he had on IMDB, he appeared in some of my favorites: The Kentucky Fried Movie (a brief cameo as a waiter), National Lampoon's Animal House (as Prof. Jennings), JFK (as Mr. X - what a scene he has on the park bench!), and the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer (as Merrick, Buffy's watcher at the time).

Kevin Costner and Sutherland in JFK

Kristy Swanson and Sutherland in Buffy

Other notable performances included Robert Altman's M*A*S*H, Paul Mazursky's Alex in Wonderland, Ordinary People (how he wasn't nominated for an Academy Award for this is beyond me), Backdraft, A Time to Kill, Panic, Cold Mountain, Reign Over Me, and The Hunger Games movies.

He had 5 children including actor Kiefer Sutherland.

The link above is the obit from Indiewire.

[ria-coolgirl]

Awesome work 🤩 @one-boring-person

Hey Stranger.

John "Ace" Merrill x reader

Warnings: vaguely bad language, mention of injury (very vague)

Context: This was requested by @theghostof-myndi , so here it is! The overview of the request is like this: Ace and the reader are childhood friends, though the reader moved away from Castle Rock at some point in the fifties (given that this is now set in the sixties). When the reader eventually moves back with her father, she and Ace resume their friendship as he shows her around again, the two of them getting along very well and basically flirting with each other (unfortunately I'm terrible at writing flirting so it's not particularly obvious in this) . The fathers of the two know that they like each other and work to get them together, given that they are also old friends.

A/N: There will most likely be a part two to this fic! I haven't quite gotten to what is probably the better part of the actual plot, but I will write it at some point soon with the help of @jawline-of-steel , whose help I have enlisted to help me with ideas.

Edited By: @jawline-of-steel

Masterlist

"Hey, Stranger, it's been a while." A familiar voice greets from behind me, the perpetually snarky tone unchanged and still as rough as it used to be.

Whirling around, I grin as I recognise the person standing behind me, my instincts taking over as I lunge forward and wrap him into a hug, pressing my face into his shoulder with happiness.

"Ace! It's been too long!" I exclaim, smiling broadly as he returns the embrace and crushes me into him, burying his face into my hair like he used to do.

"Yeah, where've you been these last few years? You've missed so much!" The blonde pulls away slightly to look down at me, his icy blue eyes regarding me carefully as I shrug.

"Eh, we've been near enough everywhere." I reply, moving so I can stand back, looking him over, "It's good to be back, though. You're gonna have to fill me in on what's different now."

"How about I show you around again? That way I can introduce you to all the new assholes that have joined the Cobras and show you what's changed in town." Ace offers, gesturing to his car, "The new look is great, by the way, doll."

I blush slightly at the old nickname, thanking him as I climb into his car, picking up the baseball bat that he has propped against the dashboard.

"You guys still go around knocking down mailboxes?" I ask, thinking back to all the times we used to do it as teens, back when none of us had any inhibitions and the only problems we had were trying to hold up a reputation in town.

"Yeah, but only when my ass of a dad isn't looking." He smirks, "Wanna play a bit now?"

"Game on, Blondie." I respond, taking the bar in hand as he climbs into the car and starts it up, pulling out of the parking lot we were in and onto the main road, where there are fewer cars than I remember, "Hey, what happened to everyone? I swear there were more people around?"

He nods, shrugging a little as he navigates the sparse traffic, chewing lightly on the toothpick in his mouth.

"There were, but most people moved away over time. Now nearly everyone that lives here is from the old families, and everything is basically family owned, too." He explains quickly, pointing out a small diner as we go past that has a flickering neon sign hanging outside it, the word unclear as we speed past.

"Oh." Is all I say, before I stand up in my seat, the bat ready in my hand as I line up with the next mailbox I can see. Gripping the bat with two hands, I swing hard at it as we approach, whooping loudly as the bat clangs against the metal, knocking it to the floor with a crash behind us. Knowing the rules of the game, I instantly get ready to strike again, managing to knock down a good eight before I miss one, only just tapping it as we go past.

"Aw, come on! You swerved on purpose!" I complain jokingly, pouting as I sit back down in my seat, "You want a go?"

"Sure, I'm gonna completely show you up!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Blondie." I lean over and take the wheel for him, steering the car as he stands up and starts batting down the mailboxes that are unfortunate enough to lie on our route.

Looking up at him, I smirk to myself and wait until we're close to another one, harshly jerking the car to the side before he can actually hit it, drawing a frustrated groan from the blonde standing over me. He swiftly returns to his seat, taking the wheel from me as we steer back into town.

"You totally cheated." He says decisively, looking across at me with his signature grin, to which I act mockingly offended.

"How could you even imply that? I would never!"

"Yeah right." Ace chuckles, shaking his head.

Laughing, I turn to look at the surroundings, remembering all of the more dilapidated shops and houses, alongside some of the larger, grander ones, which I've always enjoyed looking at. As we drive, we pass another parking lot, where a group of boys are standing around their cars, smoking and talking with one another, beer bottles held in hand as they laugh and joke about. Upon passing them; Ace calls out to them, waving at them genially as they do the same.

"Friends of yours?" I question him once we've passed, lifting an eyebrow at him.

"Not really. They're just members of the gang that I have to keep up appearances with. Their old men are pretty big around here." He clarifies, rolling his eyes at the reminder.

"Their old men? Since when do they make a difference?"

"Since they took over the Cobras. My old man is the leader, but they're still pretty important." 

"Oh. I guess my dad will be looking for a place in the group, too, then." I muse, rubbing my temples a little.

"Yeah, most likely." Ace frowns and looks over at me, "We gave you the mark, didn't we?" 

"Yeah, you did." I confirm, easily recalling the pain from the knife as it cut the cobra shape into my upper arm.

"That's good. It means you're already basically a part of the gang, so you'll fit right in."

"Like I wouldn't anyway." I chuckle, punching his arm playfully.

*

"You know, I reckon they'd make a great pair, those two." Ace's father comments to (Y/n)'s, gesturing with his beer to the two young adults as they talk with each other, sitting very closely and behaving as if no time had passed between them.

"Yeah, they would. I don't think (Y/n) ever really gave up on him." The other man responds, taking a sip from his own drink.

"John definitely didn't. He's shown no interest towards the other sex since you guys left, except of course to fuck someone, but that never really means anything to him."

"Likewise with (Y/n). She has never brought home another boy who has stayed any longer than a few days."

The two of them stay in silence for a minute, both starting to think up a plan that could help them bring together their children again.

"We've gotta figure something out. We owe it to them, and to ourselves." Ace's father eventually breaks the quiet, sighing deeply.

"Yeah we do." (Y/n)'s father thinks a moment longer, "You know, I think I've just had an idea."

"You have?" The older Merrill shoots a surprised look at his friend.

"I have." 

"Let's hear it then."

Grinning, the two men lean into each other, conspiring together as they used to back in their day.

[crowlixcx]

For the brainrot series - as though you don't have enough requests, but I heard this song again today and the resulting assault on my imagination has irrevocably damaged my sanity, and I had to say something because I will not be suffering alone.

Okay, so, picture this:

Crowley is tired of the way things have been weird in this vague post-S3 world I'm picturing, and he's decided he's gonna Do Something About It (mostly because he's already about 'if I'm not a bush I'm not no one' levels of drunk). Naturally, he decides that what he's gonna do is woo his angel.

Easy enough. Humans do this shit all the time, and without the benefit of 6000 years of mutual pining and some slinky hips. In fact, thanks to his extensive knowledge of romcoms (a must for any demon if they want to learn inventive ways to sow discord among couple, etc, and for no other reason), he's decided that the perfect course of action is to serenade Aziraphale with a song that perfectly encapsulates his squishy, kind of embarrassingly soft feelings that the angel just has to give in and accept his expertly plighted troth (probably not a euphemism).

He is, at this point, at the 'I'm washing me and my clothes' stage of his drinking binge, but he's nervous, so sue him.

It takes him foreeeeever to pick a song (he only knows "bebop" won't do, but unfortunately that covers such a wide and sometimes contradictory swath of all music made since the 1940s, it's pretty impossible), and he keeps second guessing himself, so he makes it to the 'Kiefer Sutherland tackling a Christmas tree' stage of blitzed and hits shuffle on his 'Embarrassing Angelfeels I Can Never Admit To Even Under Pain Of Total Annihilation' Spotify playlist et VOILA! The perfect song! Crowley can't believe his luck, and he sets his plan into motion before he can do something stupid, like sober up.

So, it's about 3 in the morning at this point, and Crowley has set up his speaker system in the middle of the street facing Aziraphale's bookshop, and as you do, he climbs onto a stolen crate (containing an order of dildos the adult entertainment shop three streets over is going to be looking for in about five hours) and shouts for Aziraphale until the angel, and anyone else unfortunate enough to be hanging around at 3am on a Wednesday (mostly Mrs. Sandwich and her girls and poor Nina, who has unwisely chosen to arrive extra early to wait on a delivery of hazelnut syrup), pops their heads out to see what the deuce is going on.

Once he sees his darling angel, Crowley takes another swig of frankly embarrassingly cheap vodka for a demon of his tastes, hefts hus microphone, and starts to sing (for a given value of sing).

It starts off soft, all chimes and romantic piano, full of joy and longing, and Aziraphale's face does that thing where he's definitely embarrassed, but also pleased, so Crowley shuts his eyes, and that's when the disco beat drops.

Oh yes. Crowley is about to fucking boogie down for the love of his life.

He busts out all the moves, wiggling those slinky hips (because he's never been one not to use every weapon at his disposal), belting out mostly the right lyrics in somewhat the right key, generally on time and everything.

Aziraphale's face, if Crowley would open his eyes and look, is now crossing over into horrified, yet hopelessly enamored, with a dash of down bad. His tastes are varied and interesting, okay?

The music fades out before Crowley does, still belting for a good thirty seconds after the track changes to 'The Edge of Glory', which isn't as perfect for his purposes, but Aziraphale hasn't fallen to his knees in besotted supplication (also not a euphemism, probably), so Crowley figures he may as well, and the whole street is both glad and a little disappointed that this is when Aziraphale steps away from the shop door, reaches up for Crowley's hand, and drags him off the box of dildos and towards the shop.

"That's lovely, dear. Why don't we go inside so you can sleep this off before we talk about it."

Crowley, of course, follows along happily, about 80% sure that is a euphemism, and decides send a little blessing to Barbra Streisand in gratitude. He knew 'The Main Event/Fight' had been the right song to choose.

(It was not, in fact, a euphemism, and Crowley thinks the squirming agony of having to listen to Aziraphale somehow turn a love confession into a lecture about proper methods of courtship and being considerate of human sleep cycles while suffering the worst hangover of his entire existence is possibly the best worst thing he's ever experienced. Hell should take notes.)

(They spend the rest of the day getting to know each other, and that is a euphemism.)

Now.

Did I fail to peel this mental image off the surface of my brain for the last 24 hours and decide to share the agony and the ecstasy of it? Oh yes.

Is it the perfect song to confess your love to your ineffable crush with? Debatable, but it has good results of one (1) success and no failures so far, so we can't really say no.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

The level of detail in this is unmatched. The creativity? Inspired. When I started th brainrot series never did I think I would receive something of this gravitas. Bravo my dear, I'm in the palm of your hand. And the specificity of the playlist turning to Edge Of Glory? Delicious. This is truly, marvellously unhinged. God bless the Babs and to you for the gift you have bestowed upon me. I will treat it with love and care.

[the-girl-who-used-to-write]

So...I watched the 1993 Three Musketeers movie last night and I had some brain rot. So, to all of my lost boys friends (especially @ghoulgeousimmaculate, who convinced me to publish this in the first place)...

THE LOST BOYS AS MUSKETEERS

Starting off easy...

DAVID AS ATHOS

The defacto leader of their group of misfits, I see David and Athos as parallels of each other and NOT just because they are both played by Kiefer Sutherland (although that definitely helped.)

Athos and David are both passionate men but they are very serious and stoic. Both have been hurt in the past and while I think Athos is definitely more of a romantic from what we see, David did have a love interest in the unmade Lost Boys prequel.

Athos also takes on a big-brother esque role to the other Musketeers, especially D'Artagnan. David is very much the 'big brother' of the boys if you consider them to be brothers, he's the leader and he is the one who (I think) tries to keep them in line when Max isn't there.

Athos is also a drinker and you cannot tell me that David probably doesn't enjoy a good drink from time to time rather than the blood. David is most definitely an alcohol snob.

DWAYNE AS ARAMIS

Aramis, much like Dwayne, is the hardest of the musketeers to get a read on to me. Maybe I think these two are similar because of the luscious hair.

I think the reason that I saw Dwayne and Aramis as similar are much to do with the fact that Aramis is a man who at his core is respectful, a lot more poetic and a lot more of a deeper thinker than the others, especially Porthos. We see that as much when they are talking about how they respectively woo girls, Porthos with kisses and Aramis with poetry and words of love. I personally always saw Dwayne as someone who could probably charm the pants off of anyone and I imagined him as being a silent film star before his turning (if we are making up our own backstories).

Aramis is also, arguably, the most respectful of the Musketeers. He reads final rites to those he kills (we see that in the fight with the Cardinal's guards) and he is less of a joker than someone like Porthos or even D'Artagnan. Something as simple as him being the one to encourage D'Artagnan to distribute the wealth among the poorer townsfolk when they rob the Cardinal's carriage.

Dwayne is very much a silent presence in the boys but with the way that the entire fandom headcanons him, he and Aramis have a lot in common. He's protective, he's loyal, he's an enforcer however he doesn't jump into fights for no reason, Dwayne is also a ladies' man (or at least he definitely used to be I think).

PAUL AS PORTHOS

I know Porthos and Paul are maybe the least similar in terms of looks but I think in terms of personality, these two have a lot in common.

Porthos is a drinker, Porthos is a player, Porthos enjoys a party and he is not afraid of a fight. If you look closely during the carousel scene in Lost Boys, Paul and Marko are the ones to first attack when the man goes for Dwayne. Paul and Porthos are both party animals who have probably engaged in more than one drunken brawl.

I think there is also a loyalty to Paul that we see in Porthos. Porthos always protects his Musketeer brothers and Paul goes to bat for the boys and others numerous times in the movie. if you read the final scene in the Emerson house in a certain way, Paul protects Laddie and Star from the Frog's, closing the door behind them and coming after the brothers, who were about to kill them.

Of course, Porthos also carries a lot of the humour of the movie and Paul is very much a joker. He is the light-hearted one of the boys it seems, he was the nicest according to Star in the novelisation and we see that he is also (along with Dwayne), the closest to Laddie, so context clues lead us to believe that he maybe one of the more fun boys to be around (not that they aren't all fun).

MARKO AS D'ARTAGNAN

This is something that Ghoulie can attest to but I messaged her yesterday saying that D'Artagnan in this movie reminded me of Michelangelo's David, or 'The Fallen Angel' by Alexandre Cabanel. Maybe this is partially the reason that I see him as a counterpart to Marko, the boy that looks like a renaissance painting come to life. It also helps that they both have a gorgeous head of curls.

This, in all honesty, was the easiest parallel for me. D'Artagnan is a young, roguish, reckless boy who doesn't always think before he acts and is very handsome and good with the ladies (and that's not me projecting, D'Artagnan literally has a guy after him because he 'romanced' his sister) (allegedly)

I just think he's very much like Marko. I always imagine that Marko was the youngest, even if he was turned before the other boys (I sometimes think Marko could have been a highwayman), I always see Marko as the youngest of the boys and considering D'Artagnan is the youngest of the Musketeers, I think it works.

Their reckless natures match each other well as well, Marko's most definitely does bike tricks like D'Artagnan does that thing with the horse where he jumps off and back onto it and they both run into danger. There's also a protectiveness though, a loyalty to those that they care about.

[sarnie-for-varney]

For younger Tommy and Len (Inside No.9, Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room), I actually have headcanon actors for what I believe they would've looked like.

These are my personal opinions, and I am in no way claiming any of these opinions as fact.

Len

For Len, I chose Kiefer Sutherland.

Down to the colour of his hair, his mannerisms, and the sometimes violent tendencies of the characters he's portrayed. As well as this, Sutherland has a similar body shape to what I imagine Len would've had. I think Len would hold more weight on his body than Tommy, due to his genetics.

Kiefer Sutherland has changed his look many times over the years, but I feel like Nelson Wright in Flatliners (1990) correlates the most with my idea of a younger Len Shelby:

The cuts and bruises on the left are especially in character, as I headcanon that Len would've been the type to get into a lot of fights.

However, I believe Len was the type of guy to experiment a lot with his appearance. So his style could range from this to any look he put his mind to.

Throughout the film, Nelson appears to be washed in a sort of sepia or burnt orange colour. I associate warmer colours, like orange, with Len.

Len, I feel, does like to be comfortable and he wears more casual clothes. I think Len would lean more towards a grunge or punk style of dress. I always imagine Len's hair to be more red than it is blonde, perhaps strawberry blonde.

Tommy

For Tommy, I chose River Phoenix.

He has a fantastic range and ability to play any character, which I thought was perfect for Tommy. Tommy goes through many changes in terms of personality throughout his life. Before meeting Len, he was shy and quiet. A bookworm who sits alone. After meeting Len, Tommy started taking on quite a few of Len's quirks. He became more outgoing, hanging out in places he probably shouldn't be, smoking, riding on Len's motorbike or taking the truck out for a spin (I headcanon that Len has a very strong interest in vehicles and mechanics). Len is sort of a bad influence on Tommy, but whatever. Tommy enjoys it. Later in his life, Tommy becomes the boss of a rather large digital marketing company where he learns he needs to be authoritative and straightforward.

Tommy's personality took many turns in his life, just like the characters that Phoenix has portrayed. River is thinner than Kiefer, much like how I imagine Tommy to be thinner than Len. While River Phoenix is slightly taller than Kiefer Sutherland, Tommy would most likely be shorter than Len (like Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton's height difference).

Like Sutherland, Phoenix had many looks over his career. But the most reminiscent of Tommy, I think, would be Danny Pope from Running on Empty (1988):

Tommy, I believe, would excel academically and be completely in his element when in classes. In the scene on the left, Danny Pope pays the utmost attention in his studies, and this fits Tommy very well.

Here, on this character, we see rounded glasses which I headcanon Tommy wearing when he was younger (as opposed to his more rectangular glasses in the canon episode). Pope also wears a lot of blues in the film, blue is a colour I associate very strongly with Tommy.

Tommy's clothing, like Len's, is comfortable and soft. But he isn't against wearing more elaborate and complex outfits, which he takes great care in putting together. I could see Tommy leaning more towards the artsy/preppy style of dress.

Despite Tommy's hair being dark on the poster of their younger selves in the episode, I cannot help but headcanon Tommy as blonde-haired.