#dammit i need a job
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Following a tutorial for a cute beanie and I've already frogged a row about three times...I am in pain.
#doesn't help that the tutorial is in spanish#yes it has english subtitles but still struggling#would be worth it for the beanie though#if it works out i might make one for myself too#(this one is for my sister as all things end up being)#(the cardigan i was making? made it in her size instead)#all this because who on earth is gonna buy me twelve skeins of yarn for a single cardigan?#that's more than twice my monthly allowance#dammit i need a job#maybe i should sell hats#a small business yes#could add that to my college application in the future#so it would look less pathetic#oh no i'm rambling again#crochet stuff
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[Before Law can get a word in edgewise explaining how he would rather not. Luffy's gone in a whirlwind. Or a typhoon. Any natural disaster that left the land devastated in its wake. Law is left standing in the middle of the cafe, clutching his phone as the door slams shut behind Luffy, the bell ringing his exit.
Law slumps into his stool, suddenly exhausted.
“Sorry about him.” Nami says sliding into the seat that Luffy just vacated, “He’s like that. Once he takes a shine to you, that’s it. He’s all in. He has no care about whether you want to be his friend or not.”
“We’re not friends.” Law mutters. Nojiko snorts into the mug she’s drying, “I barely know him.”
“I’ve been friends with him for years and I barely know him.” Nami responds with a shrug, “That’s just Luffy. Count your blessings that he likes you. People he doesn’t like usually get punched in the face.”]
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I should be working, but today brain bad. Here's a peek into my LawLu hospital AU that is never going to see the light of day because i'm a BAD person who can't finish things.
#LawLu#One Piece#jojomakesart#jojowritesfic#monkey d. luffy#trafalgar d. water law#Law is a ER surgeon who specializes in cardiothoracic trauma#Luffy is a firefighter who is surprisingly good at their job#the first drawing has some of my favorite little detail work#also Cora is ALIVE in this AU because I want him to be an embarrassing dad#Ace is NOT alive because I need that good good angst#Sabo is and he's feral#Zoro owns a dojo called Santoryuu that Luffy trains at#Nami is a weather girl for the local news station#Robin is a archeology professor who also has a shady past in espionage#Franky is a engineer that specializes in ship building (and also likes to make wild and outlandish treehouses in his spare time)#Usopp is a biochem major who also spray paints murals into parking garages at night#Brook is an 80 year old musician that is surprising spry but cannot help making the 'when I die...' jokes at every opportunity he can#Sanji obviously is at the Baratie but he also does DRAG because he likes to wear dresses DAMMIT#A list of fun easter eggs because tumblr does not want people to see my genius#1. Law's Coffee Cup is from Camie's the local coffee shop and art house that services the greater area of the Grand Line.#It has Hachi on the logo a la starbucks#2. Nurses station- Kaya as a oncology doctor and Conis as a triage nurse. They gossip a lot and Law does not GOSSIP#but he does#3. CP9- Going to visit Rob Lucci#4. Room sign- 2Y3D#I imagine the hospital is set up not unlike the mangroves in Sabody#5. Reallllly tiny can't see it but the exit sign has Bon Clay on it#6. Patient File- Whitebeard's Law's patient
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Rewatching HTTYD 2 and RTTE made me realize how badly they fucked everyone over in HTTYD 3. Like. Did they just look at all their character development and go “Yeah, we can flush this down the drain”, or
#Shima speaks#It's so bad. It's SO bad#I mean arguably the characterization in HTTYD 2 needs work as well but like.#We got the MAJORITY of the character development in the TV series so it's fair they can't really express all of that in the films#But like. Even the difference between 2 and 3. They reduced all the dragon riders to be comedic relief#And it makes me SO sad#Especially Snotlout and Fishlegs#And don't even get me STARTED on how they totally bungled Valka's character#Lies down#Thinking about HTTYD 3 makes me so angry. God dammit.#They had ONE JOB#Putting aside all of my regular complaints about 3 there's still SO much more that's wrong with it#Grinding my teeth banging on the walls pulling my hair out etc#HTTYD#Sorry lmao just. Watching the first two films and the series really puts things into perspective of how bad the third film is#I cannot. I cannae#How To Train Your Dragon
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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Why is Bruno considered the mom of Team Bucci?
I mean, I get it, he’s nurturing and parental and all around someone who takes care of the people around him but none of those are specifically motherly traits.
Why not Papa Bruno instead of Mama Bruno? Is it because of the term “mother hen��? Or “momma bear”? Or maybe it’s because “men can’t be caring like mothers are”? Why does it have to be Mama Bruno and Dadbacchio, huh?? Why must the heterosexual “standard” be upheld, huh??? Why is his caring nature indirectly labeled as feminine, HUH???
Anyway don’t take that seriously, just imagine a Ghiaccio rant. That was just to establish that I think gender norms are dumb before:
IF we argue it’s not that deep then I have one question: WHY is Prosciutto considered mom of La Squadra??? No, seriously, we don’t get a lot of screentime of La Squadra but from what we see, RISOTTO is the one that takes care of the group like mother hen caring for her chicks. He was the first one to notice and feel concerned when Gelato and Sorbet didn’t show up! The way he stayed at their funeral the longest and his desire to avenge his fallen teammates shows that he cares for them all very deeply!! Prosciutto is caring too in the tough love sorta way but that’s only to Pesci! And Pesci calls him Big Bro! You can’t tell me that Risotto doesn’t give off the vibes of a stern matriarch of the family who will fuck up anyone who messes with their kids!!
#MamaRiso
#again I don’t have any issue with mama Bruno supporters I just wanted to spread rice mom propaganda.#risotto nero#he’s just too hardheaded#a single mom who works two jobs#risotto needs more respect for being the single mother of 8#jjba#jjba part 5#jojo bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo golden wind#jojo's bizarre adventure vento auero#VENEZIA DAMMIT
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ceo au but its just mc surviving working as lucifer's assistant and asmo keeps flirting with them everytime he visits
#thats the whole thing :] the end#okay i lied its not the whole thing#ive been daydreaming about it and its a slowburn in my head#mc becomes workaholic due to working for lucifer#its not easy working for him im sure#everything needs to be perfect and done on time and they have to present themselves a specific way and blah blah#so i get to work with the dynamic of the person who is very work focused and the person who is about chasing thrills#each of the brothers has their own successful endeavor going on but they do a lot of work together so mc sees them often#i dont know how businesses work exactly lol#but ive always love making AUs#obey me just likes making AUs too so its like should i just focus on canon??#obey me#obey me asmodeus#asmodeus x reader#asmodeus x mc#of course actual feelings are caught#tbh theres no a lot of drama in this au#they just get together in the end and everyones happy#maybe mc quits their job because theyre burned out and they rather go work for less pay at this point#and lucifer is like dammit theyre really good at what they do and are already used to everything and everyone#so it would be a pain replacing them#and he wants them to come back#he also likes them as a person but probably wont say that
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#almost ready#just need to pin the sleeves up and put the patches on and we’re good to go :D#so ridiculously excited lmao maybe it’s stupid but I don’t CARE I have a job I have a lake I have a book called Finnish for Foreigners#I also have a ridiculous amount of quantum physics work I’m not doing rn but I’m allowed to be happy dammit#snailtalk
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been having a hard time studying lately but i just had a think about it and i'm p sure it's just bc i've missed meds more often than not recently....
#stirring up trouble#i need this fucking certification dammit!! cmon brain we gotta do this with or without the helpful chemicals#all things considered i'm doing an ok job but i'm not at the point i'd like to be yknow? bleh#time to grab some matcha and set up a pomodoro timer
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Errr okay I'm embarrassed to say I had to do some quick research on what happened to the real Julian and well...let's just say I didn't find great news. Some of it was completely cringey and awful. However, there are two sides to a story and all that, so I'm willing to extend some benefit of the doubt. Dude has been through a lot of craziness, so I honestly can't imagine what that sort of confinement and stress does to a person.
However, I still want to gush and obsess over my TFE Assangiebatch. I just find him so incredibly enchanting (that accent, that hair, those adorable goofy smirks, that confidence, that cockiness, his elusive mystery, gaaaahhhhh 😭) and the movie is baller. But I may have to further disassociate him from his real-life muse and put him into another AU. I've been pondering a PrecisionMed!AU so maybe I will have to explore that further...(more computer programming, add some genetics [yessss], minus the politics and journalism)
#fictional character crap#leave it to me to latch onto the difficult ones#this one isn't 100% fictional#the other has a nasty fanbase with gender discourse and rampant misinformation#and the other one they killed off completely#like wtf even my fictional character love life sucks lol#i need an escape dammit my job suuuuuccckksssss#omggg this edit tho!!#so many feels I'm in love#damn you mr benedict cumberbatch for being too damn good at your job#i don't see you at all when I look at him...who is you...but he's not!!#shenanigans!!
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gods, why didn't i get a college degree in anything useful?
#i've known since the day it unceremoniously came in the mail that my degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on#yeah i needed to college experience for social and lersonal growth#but why couldn't i have gotten something out of it that can help me find a damn job?#what was the fucking point of going through all that?#(the social and personal growth obviously)#ahgggggg#i'm too broke and disabled to go back to school NOW#(the way i'm coping with the anxiety of waiting to hear back about the internal job i just interviewed for#is to have Officially Decided That I'll Be Rejected Out Of Hand. So What Do I Do Next?#it hurts but at least i can move forward if the worst come to pass#and it gives me something to do while i'm Waiting#ughhhhh#why couldn't i have sold my damn soul and gotten the shitty computer science degree my school had??#i remember visiting a house a friend was pet-sitting for and seeing the couple's gaming setup#and just seeing dollar signs. they both worked in computer science and made $$$#but at the time it sounded like the worst thing in the world#and i'd already changed my major once... loved what i was studying... and had my dad breathing down my neck about how much my education cost#i'm so lucky i don't have debt. thanks to my grampa. but holy hell did my dad lord that inheritance over me and make me dance for it#i don't think he ever got over grampa pulling *his* college funding bc he spent college fucking around and dropped out#couldn't wrap his head around that the narrow thing he'd trained me to be would never follow in his 'rebelious' footsteps#i beat myself up over A-'s there was no way i'd do anything other than take my grades seriously#but that was the problem. i was worried about grades and what sounded bearable to learn. not what was realistic to do with it#i wanted to get a fucking phd! with what fucking money!!!!#of course not that i had the support or the maturity to understand what it meant to choose an education that could grant me a career#but who can i blame if not myself?#dad always said i had to Go To College. there was no choice in not going. but as soon as college came he shoved me out the door#and slammed shut. how was i supposed to know what to do without him there to make me do things all of a sudden?#that took nearly a decade to learn dammit#personal
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#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy.#i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life?#u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let#me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months#y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal?#like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score#but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help.#ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me#genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing#? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃#next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol#i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester#ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped.#unrelated
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Motherfucker, guess who accidentally worked for free for a whole month and a half because neither my boss (who is genuinely a good stand-up guy) nor I realized that the department wrote the contract to end in mid-July when all of us (including the grant funder) thought that it would be across the whole summer until the end of August.
#the valley is posting#i'm not going to go after anyone for it because it was a legitimate mistake#but dammit; this is why i've been telling the union we need clearer communication between administration and workers#because both my boss and the grant donor agreed that the money would be across the whole summer#which is what i was told during the interview process; that it would be a job for the whole summer#but the university bureaucracy decided to write the contract for 2.5 months instead of four so that's how the grant got divvied up#i still got paid the amount that was agreed upon; just across 2.5 months instead of four#anyways; this is your reminder to read the fine print of your damn hiring contract folks
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I have no appetite, I can’t sleep, I feel irritable, I’m clumsy and a bit confused, my chest hurts, I’m sweaty, I’m emotional, my joints hurt and feel sore, my body feels weak, but I guess it was allll worth it if you could come into work sick for a few days huh?
#kai rants#about coworkers#WHY WOULD YOU COME INTO A PLACE#WHERE WE SELL F O O D#AND BE SICK FOR THREE DAYS?!?!#I was wearing a mask#you were wearing a mask#I STILL GOT SICK DAMMIT#YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE THE ELDERLY AND IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PPL SICK?!#FUCK OFF AND STAY HOME AND GET BETTER YOU LOOK MISERABLE. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE. THAT YOU’RE A CARELESS HARD WORKING PERSON?!?!?!#I feel so awful right now and it’s YOUR fault for not staying home#I hope everyone in the kitchen gets sick from your dumbass#that way the manager will!!! send you home if you are sick!!!#I fucking hate having a fever bro#‘uhhh but kai they need money’ you got a husband and a supportive local family don’t give me that#My paycheck is gonna be cut because I took sick leave ffs#‘but Kai you have a nice three day vacation’ Yeah because if I came into the manual labor job with a fever I would fall over#I’m usually a pretty balanced and careful person but my tight chest and my muscle soreness isn’t fucking helping#I feel incredible dizzy if I strain myself even a little#fuck you
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Ok, but what if: 2023 is for getting my shit together. I bought PTO to travel and ended up needing it for an unexpected surgery. I'm trying to get my finances under control (during that depressive dip I faltered some, but I'm trying to get back on track). Then I can get my health issues under control (a list too long to list here lmfao). And then....trip to Europe 2024??? Maybe???? If I start saving now, I can definitely have enough set aside for a trip next year.... I'm scheming....
#personal#I need to use it again before my passport expires dammit#I really wasn't expecting to have surgery this year but I'm glad I bought the PTO after all#maybe if I stay at this job just long enough I can take a trip and quit shortly after#and use my health insurance to get my many maladies treated#LET ME DREAM
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i cant tell if its the autism tm that skews my perception or if ive just really been through enough shit these past few years that my emotional maturity is now explicitly above average
#personal#seeing people who clearly want and need help be all cryptic about how they feel and making it like pulling teeth to communicate with them#makes me wanna tear my hair out#I Am Here For You !!!!! just Talk to me !!!!!!!! god#trying to leave every figurative ball in their court but they just dismiss it and then act like im the one who didnt try#its so reminiscent of my last job where i always had to be the one bending myself over backwards to accommodate the other party#im getting anxious just thinking about it knowing where that led me after months and months of caving in to the other's needs#without any regards for my own#really trying to will myself not to go down that path but its hard when i care#and i Know if i did reach out and compromise myself to be accommodating it would Work#but goddammit i cant always be the bigger person !!! please !!! cut me some slack sometimes !!!! meet me halfway !!!! im trying dammit
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Why have my managers not given me shifts yet?
#like I need the summer job and can only work part of the summer#use me while I’m here dammit#I even put the parts of the week they needed coverage on as preferred on the scheduling app
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