#risotto needs more respect for being the single mother of 8

[oh-bunny-dearest]

Why is Bruno considered the mom of Team Bucci?

I mean, I get it, he’s nurturing and parental and all around someone who takes care of the people around him but none of those are specifically motherly traits.

Why not Papa Bruno instead of Mama Bruno? Is it because of the term “mother hen”? Or “momma bear”? Or maybe it’s because “men can’t be caring like mothers are”? Why does it have to be Mama Bruno and Dadbacchio, huh?? Why must the heterosexual “standard” be upheld, huh??? Why is his caring nature indirectly labeled as feminine, HUH???

Anyway don’t take that seriously, just imagine a Ghiaccio rant. That was just to establish that I think gender norms are dumb before:

IF we argue it’s not that deep then I have one question: WHY is Prosciutto considered mom of La Squadra??? No, seriously, we don’t get a lot of screentime of La Squadra but from what we see, RISOTTO is the one that takes care of the group like mother hen caring for her chicks. He was the first one to notice and feel concerned when Gelato and Sorbet didn’t show up! The way he stayed at their funeral the longest and his desire to avenge his fallen teammates shows that he cares for them all very deeply!! Prosciutto is caring too in the tough love sorta way but that’s only to Pesci! And Pesci calls him Big Bro! You can’t tell me that Risotto doesn’t give off the vibes of a stern matriarch of the family who will fuck up anyone who messes with their kids!!

#MamaRiso

[defineguilty]

FULL CHARACTER INFO SHEET

BASIC INFORMATION

♛┋FULL NAME: Neal George Caffrey ♛┋NICKNAME(S): Do aliases count as nicknames? ♛┋OCCUPATION: FBI Consultant / Former Con-Artist ♛┋AGE: 32+ depending on verse ♛┋DATE OF BIRTH: March 21st ♛┋GENDER: cis male ♛┋PRONOUNS: he/him ♛┋ORIENTATION: bisexual biromantic ♛┋NATIONALITY: american ♛┋ETHNICITY: white ♛┋RELIGION: catholic, but not really practicing actively 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

♛┋FACE CLAIM: Matt Bomer ♛┋EYE COLOUR: blue ♛┋HAIR COLOUR: brown ♛┋DOMINANT HAND: right ♛┋HEIGHT: 5' 11½" // 182cm ♛┋BUILD: athletic ♛┋TATTOOS: none ♛┋SCARS: none to speak of ♛┋PIERCINGS: none ♛┋GLASSES: occasionally when undercover/under an alias, but he has perfect vision ♛┋STYLE: Sophisticated & elegant. He very rarely leaves the house without a suit, often accessorizing with a hat. Usually somewhat vintage, but styled on the modern side. The most casual he usually goes is suit pants with a T-shirt or sweater.

FAMILY

♛┋PARENT #1: James Bennett (father) ♛┋PARENT #2: Angela Caffrey-Bennett (mother) ♛┋SIBLING(S): n/a ♛┋CHILDREN: n/a ♛┋PET(S): n/a ♛┋RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS: Non-existent. His father was a corrupt cop who killed a fellow cop and was arrested for it. Until his 18th birthday, Neal was led to believe his dad was a hero who died on the job and knowing the truth about his definitely messed up his entire world view. Add to that the fact that James tried to use Neal to get off after running from authorities for a murder he did commit and Neal certainly has all of the daddy issues. His mother, Neal feels less strong dislike and anger for. She was never a very stable presence in his life and the arrest of his father didn’t exactly help her. Instability and substance abuse made her a rather unfit mother and even though Neal would never say she was bad to him, Ellen was always the only real mother-figure he had. He hasn’t talked to his mother since he was eighteen and she hasn’t reached out either.  ♛┋RELATIONSHIP WITH SIBLING(S): n/a

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

♛┋HOMETOWN: St. Louis, Missouri ♛┋CURRENT: New York City, New York ♛┋LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, French, German, conversational Italian & Swahili ♛┋SOCIAL CLASS: middle class ♛┋DEGREE: three MBAs and two doctorate degrees but... none of them legit. (in reality, Neal never graduated High School) ♛┋RAP SHEET? bond forgery (at least that’s the only thing they caught him on) ♛┋PRISON TIME? 4 years for bond forgery, another 4 years after breaking out of prison just before his sentence was up -- to be served as a consultant for the FBI

PSYCHOLOGY INFORMATION

♛┋JUNG TYPE: ESTP ♛┋ENNEATYPE: Type 3 -- The Achiever: Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation & 7w8 ( Type 7 -- The Enthusiast: Pleasure seekers and planners, in search of distraction & Type 8 -- The Challenger: Taking charge, because they don't want to be controlled) ♛┋MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral / Chaotic Good ♛┋TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine ♛┋SCHEMA: Insufficient self-control (very strong). Other contenders include  Unrelenting standards, Emotional inhibation, Abandonment and Entitlement  hahaaa ♛┋INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Linguistic & Visual are at the same score. Interpersonal is second place. ♛┋NEUROTYPE: Neurotypical

PERSONALITY DETAILS

♛┋POSITIVE: charming, witty, inventive, creative, intelligent ♛┋NEGATIVE: sly, dishonest, distrusting, guarded, detached ♛┋DREAMS/AMBITIONS: Neal’s main goal is always a sense of fun and adventure. he doesn’t have a set end-goal either way -- not the white picket fence life, but also not the life of the fancy villa in some country that doesn’t extradite as some sort of crime lord. He likes the thrill of a con, so if he can make it happen, keeping that alive is what he cares about most. ♛┋FEARS: Among is main fears is definitely turning out like his father. Having idolized him for so many years before he knew who he really was and then seeing a few similarities between them after all really does scare him. He’s aware he’s far from the most honest person alive, but he likes to believe he would never turn to murder or betraying his own closest family and friends the way his father did.

RELATIONSHIPS / SEX

♛┋RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse dependent ♛┋PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: Several ambivalent on-off relationships (see Alex Hunter), plenty of casual affairs and only a few more serious relationships. The first big one being with Kate which, obviously, was something he was incredibly serious and passionate about. Also the only relationship to date he was so open about and had no shame admitting he’s deeply in love and would do anything for her. The only other (canon) relationship, although also without labels attached, was with Sara which remains his most healthy relationship, though it was foiled by circumstance and perhaps, just Neal’s inability of honesty at the time. ♛┋LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: high ♛┋STORY OF FIRST KISS: Technically, it happened in the third grade after he drew a girl in his class a nice picture and they then proceeded to date for three weeks, which really just consisted of them holding hands twice, Neal drawing more pictures and that one first kiss at recess. Showed Brittney Nicole too -- his tooth gap clearly wasn’t that bad. ♛┋STORY OF FIRST TIME: Neal had just turned 17 and at the time, had his first more serious girlfriend. They’d been dating for a few months at the time and it happened after a night of plenty of shenanigans on a random Saturday. For Neal, sneaking out was never an issue anyway since parental supervision wasn’t exactly a thing, so no sneaking had to take place, and she’d told her parents she was staying at a friend’s place. Originally, they’d planned to just do whatever they felt like, something they both enjoyed very much (usually that meant Neal rigging the games at a local Arcade and winning her a bunch of stuffed animals or them hanging out at his favorite pool hall where he’d regularly earn a little extra by making some older guys who underestimated him play for money) but that night, they decided to up the stakes a little. They stopped by a second-hand store in town, bought complete outfits (suit and a cocktail dress, respectively) and then proceeded to drive to one of the fancier hotels in town. Somehow, they convinced the guy at the reception that they were relatives of the owner and should have been announced. They ended up getting one of the nicer rooms in the hotel for the night (and, for free!) and the exhilaration of the con pulled off well led to both of their first time.

VICES / HABITS

♛┋SMOKES? No (unless it’s part of a cover) ♛┋DRINKS? Yes, but preferably something respectable and only for taste and enjoyment, not specifically to get drunk ♛┋DOES DRUGS? No ♛┋IS VIOLENT? No ♛┋HAS AN ADDICTION? Well, technically he did say that a con is an addiction and that he hasn’t kicked it yet, so. That. ♛┋IS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE? Yes. I think while he comes off very confident and considers himself very confident too, there’s a couple things he just doesn’t believe will happen in his life for him. Among those are stable relationships, so he can sometimes subconsciously be destructive towards those and therefore proof his belief-system. ♛┋HABITS: He likes to have something to do with his hands, especially when he’s nervous. Be it throwing something and catching it again, or just twirling a pen between his fingers. ♛┋HOBBIES: Art, Reading, Cooking, Languages ♛┋OBSESSION(S): Depends on what’s currently important. Kate and the music box definitely developed into a sort of obsession at the time. I think in general, when intense things come up, especially when they threaten his loved ones, Neal has the tendency to get obsessive about them and let those things take over his life (or at least his private life) for the time being.

MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION

♛┋HOUSE: Raveclaw, though a serious contestant for Slytherin  ♛┋VICE: Pride ♛┋VIRTUE: Willingness to do almost everything to protect/help those he cares about ♛┋ELEMENT: Air ♛┋MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Siren or Centaur ♛┋ANIMAL: Fox ♛┋WOULD SURVIVE POST-APOC? Probably not. He’s very smart and would probably find a way to survive for a little while by somehow securing food and the like, but he has practically no combat skills and the second he needs to fight for his life, he would die ♛┋SONG TO DESCRIBE THEM?: Alibis by Marianas Trench

DETAILS / QUIRKS

♛┋PET PEEVES: All of the pet peeves. For someone with an affinity for the illegal, a lot of little things really annoy him. Some examples: the toilet seat being left up, gum on the sidewalk, people eating very fragrant food in confined spaces just to name a few ♛┋NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD?: Night owl ♛┋LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER?: More on the heavy side ♛┋FAVORITE FOOD?: He couldn’t pick. But he does have a real soft spot for cheese. Also risotto.  ♛┋LEAST FAVORITE FOOD?: Deviled ham ♛┋FAVORITE DRINK?: Red Wine ♛┋FAVORITE BOOK (GENRE)?: Non-fiction for genre. I don’t think he has a single favorite book though. ♛┋FAVORITE MOVIE?: He likes classic Hollywood movies, ngl. Sunset Boulevard is among one of his favorites. Romantic movies, in general. ♛┋LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?: Anything super action-heavy or overly crude. ♛┋FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?: Not in jail is a great start. France, though, if he could have his choice. ♛┋COFFEE OR TEA?: Coffee. ♛┋FAVORITE COLOR?: Navy blue. ♛┋CUSSER? No. Shit is probably the worst thing he’ll say