#i dont know how businesses work exactly lol

[gifti3]

ceo au but its just mc surviving working as lucifer's assistant and asmo keeps flirting with them everytime he visits

[luxraydyne]

wait, dude, wait. aini was supposed to be cosmic horror??

girl, seriously? i dunnooooo i’m not really feeling it fellas

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[cupcakeslushie]

I dont usually send asks, mostly cause im shy and don’t know what to say lol, but I wanted to share my appreciation for your Kendratello AU, cause it’s helped me recognize a toxic relationship in my own life.

I’ve never been a victim to SA or anything of the likes, so I can’t say I’ve been EXACTLY in Donnie’s place, but something that unsettled me early on when reading your AU was how…NICE Kendra would seem when alone with Donnie.

In a lot of media, especially in the media I saw growing up, the manipulative antagonist almost always had very obvious tells that show they’re evil when interacting with the victim. Maybe they’re talking about committing a very clearly villainous deed, keep the protagonist prisoner, something like that. But Kendra didn’t. Well, not always.

Kendra destroyed Donnie from the foundation up, and then rebuilt him back up to be who she wanted him to be, would punish him but then spin the situation around to be his own fault, but the rest of the time she would seem kind.

Only recently have I realized that someone very close to me has been toxic for most of our lives, and the reason it took me this long to realize it was because they would treat me kindly only until it became in their own interest to act otherwise. But I would take it, because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I assumed that since they loved me, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY (emotionally) hurt me.

Spoiler alert: they did.

I’m not going to get much more into it, but your AU’s been very comforting to me ever since this happened, because it’s helping me come to terms with the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault just because our relationship seemed nice most of the time.

Your depiction of Kendra manipulating Donnie so realistically, and Donnie slowly but surely realizing that Kendra was hurting him is so powerful, and I thank you for that.

I’m so happy for you Anon 💚💚

It’s good to see these patterns, and depending on how toxic the relationship is, to speak up for yourself, or cut the person out, if they are unwilling to change.

Kindness is often a tool used by manipulators. But the biggest thing to ask yourself is exactly what you saw. Is this person only nice to me when they need something from me? And if so, then this isn’t real kindness. Good for you for knowing your worth!!

⚠️

sa related ask and discussions of very toxic relationships…

Personal experience rambling below. Toxic friendship and sa mention.

I’ll only be discussing this once, here, in this post. So I’m afraid if I get anyone asking for further info, I’m not going to reply /lh

I’m very sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope you can find what you need to heal. Everyone’s traumas are so different, so please if you can, and haven’t already, speak to a professional that will give you help catered to you.

But I do want to immediately answer your question and say, yes, I have healed, for the most part. It took a lot of work and self-reflection that I didn’t want to do, because it was scary. But when I finally talked to someone, and realized I needed to take action in order to heal, that was when the process started.

For years, I thought my only options were to suffer in silence, and that what happened to me was my own fault, because towards the end, I was consenting. But I didn’t understand how my mindset and self worth had become so twisted.

My person (let’s call him J) was one of my best friends growing up. But as he got older, and more interested in…mature things, he changed. J would only ever agree to hang out together unless I offered to give him something to make it worth his while. Eventually I started to think these acts were all I was good for, as that’s all that made him happy to be around me. Pretty soon, J didn’t even have to push the ideas onto me. He only had to act uninterested or busy, and I would sit there and beg to do whatever he wanted.

The idea of rejection grew to be so painful and terrifying as he was one of only two friends that I had (the other being his sister. So if I lost one, I was so scared to lose the other). And I’d recently lost one of my closest childhood friends. Which he often used her cutting contact with us in his manipulations as well.

(It wasn’t until years later that she contacted me through Facebook and revealed that it was J that made her feel too uncomfortable, and as she already lived two hours away from us, and only visited once a year, it was just easier for her to cut off contact. I don’t blame her now, but without that knowledge, the thought that it was something I did, only helped J manipulate me.)

As I grew older, and I got better friends, I started to learn just how much I’d been pushed into only ever doing what he wanted, and how one sided of a relationship it was. He moved away, and that distance I was so scared of became a reality. But it was the best thing to ever happen. I still wonder what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in town. If we might’ve gotten married or if I would’ve finally stood up for myself. But all that matters is he is gone. There is always the danger of him coming home and me seeing him—we were neighbors, so his parents and mine still live right next door. Holidays can be kind of a high stress time lol.

That cafe comic is actually probably the most therapeutic piece out of the whole Kendratello AU I’ve done, as it’s always been a fear of mine that I could just turn around and he’d be in town visiting lol. Sending Kendra through that portal was highly cathartic. But even if that were to happen now, I have my coping skills, and I’m in a much better headspace. I think I would be able to handle myself.

I’m still a people pleaser, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, even with all the work I’ve done. The biggest thing is, I know I’m worth more now. I can see real kindness, and catch the fake stuff much better by looking for those same toxic signs. The real friendships I’ve made have shown me what connection is truly like. It’s not a one-sided negotiation every time you get together. And if it is, then it’s probably not a healthy give and take. I’ve healed, but it is a constant effort.

Every new person sets off some kind of anxiety in the back of my head, but I don’t let that fear control how our relationship will develop. I’ve got the final say in what happens and what I get out of it.

[genshin-impact-unofficial]

Naughty Little Secret Pt.3

Reactions of Genshin men finding your spicy literature.

Bonus Ft. Scaramouche, Itto, and Xiao

(Part 1) Diluc, Cyno, and Thoma (Part 2) Childe, Albedo, and Alhaitham

Tags: PG-13, Sexual Themes, GN!Reader, Technically SFW, Crushes, Lot more cussing in this one, Use of the word dick but not sexual lol, All these boys dont know how to regulate emotions, Bullying scaramouche, fluff-ish?, Spoiler: Xiao wants to be dominated! Notes: (repost)

Scaramouche

You worked your ass off to rise up in the Fatui ranks. Not everyone could handle the cut throat atmosphere that you had to endure day in and day out. But still, it really takes a special kind of self-loathing to accept the position as the right hand General of the Balladeer. It’s almost like he enjoys making your life hell. You endured it simply because you’ve come too far to let that little brat ruin it all. 

 “General Y/N, be ready to leave at dawn.” The harbinger stated to you, lounging casually at his desk, appearing not to have a care in the world. You turn around slowly and don't even try to hide your annoyance on your face. Your hands were already literally and figuratively full of paperwork that you had every intention of completing before this point. You take a deep sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose to keep the growing migraine at bay. 

“Yes sir, where shall I prepare us to go?” You ask calmly, it was not worth it to get snippy with him this early. He would surely only take it as a challenge.

“Hmm... I feel like exploring the ruins of Mondstadt.” The man shrugged, glancing over at you to see your reaction. 

“Mondstadt?!?! That’s a three day trip sir. Are you-” You stopped yourself when you saw the devilish grin on his features. This was exactly what he wanted. “Orders received, I’ll inform the convoy to be ready at dawn.” You stated sharply and swiftly turned to exit the room. What a dick. You were no stranger to these impromptu expeditions. Chances were, Scaramouche really did have business to attend to at the destination. What never ceased to boil your blood, was the fact that he loved to withhold this information from you until the very last minute. You packed light and awaited your next orders like usual. 

 -

The first leg of the journey was incredibly dull since you had refused to travel in the same wagon as Scaramouche. Even when he went out of his way to push your buttons during stops, you would only give him a short reply and walk away. It was quite annoying to the harbinger. Having nothing to entertain himself with left the Balladeer in a terrible mood. By the time camp was set up for the night, he stormily resigned to his quarters immediately.  Scaramouch’s belongings were already left on his sleeping cot when he entered. It was no doubt set up in advance to avoid risking anyone getting on his bad side. He opened is bags to retrieve his intelligence reports.... but the contents inside were unfamiliar to him. What an incompetent crew!

“I’m going to have someones head for thi-” His agitation ceased when he read your name written neatly on the ledger inside the pack. About time...something interesting. Without any regard for your privacy, he flipped through your notes. Ugh, you could be such a bore sometimes. You were his favorite play thing, but above all else you were also a diligent attendant. There was nothing but concise notations on work matters inside, so Scaramouche tossed it aside and searched further into the bag. His next finding was a book, seemingly a fiction novel with a bookmark indicating you were still in the midst of reading it. Boring.... The man thought while mindlessly skimming through the pages. 

The cool night breeze hit her bare skin, raising goosebumps all over her body. Only the scorching warmth of his hands could be felt as they explored her every curve. The lewd sounds of their passion rang throughout the trees and her legs began to tremble in pleasure as he- Scaramouche immediately slammed the book closed with far too much force and threw it back into your bag. He didn’t even bother zipping it up before storming outside. 

You had just finished your duties for the night. It took twice as long since your infuriating boss just had to throw a tantrum and go hole himself up in his quarters. Your tent was luckily also set up and ready for use. Maybe you would even treat yourself to a little reading, that is if you didn’t pass out from exhaustion as soon as your head hit the pillow. You didn’t think twice before opening the bag atop your bed. Huh? This isn’t- 

“Y/N TAKE YOUR STUPID STUFF! ESPECIALLY THAT FILTHY PORNOGRAPHIC BOOK OF YOURS!” Scaramouche was bursting into your tent and just about whipped your bag at you. The boy’s expression was incredibly uneasy, his bright angry blush could be seen from Celestia. On one hand, you were positively furious that he had the nerve to snoop through your things, but on the other hand you examined the sight of your flustered boss.... now that was new. 

“It’s not porn...” You forced down your utter embarrassment and rolled your eyes at him. “It’s just a little romance novel, don’t tell me that’s what’s got you so utterly nervous? Did you need someone to guide you through its contents?” You asked in a low sultry tone while taking a couple slow prowling steps towards the harbinger. His eyes were now as wide as saucers, bewildered, he stood frozen in place. 

“You’re being ridiculous.. I don’t - How dare you assume-” Scaramouche tried to form a complete thought, or maybe a threat, but it was painfully obvious he had lost his ability to think straight with you leaning in so close to him. Personal space was getting awfully scarce when you saw the Balladeer’s eyes flicker for a fraction of a second to your lips and back. You grinned wickedly, deciding it was time to put the helpless boy out of his misery. 

“Well then!” You suddenly clasped your hands together, leaned back, and shoved Scaramouche’s pack roughly into his arms. “Since you’re all set, then out you go.” You smiled cheerily, spinning him around and kicking him out of your tent without a second glance. “Nighty night, see ya in the morning sir.” 

Scaramouch stood rigidly outside your tent, face burning, utterly disheveled, and reeling from the interaction he had just had. His heart pounded wildly in his chest, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the thrill of your attention or from how absolutely fucking livid he was at you.

Itto

You weren’t an ‘official’ member of the Arataki Gang per say, but you were no stranger to their big goofball leader. Itto had slowly wormed his way into your daily routine and he had no plans of leaving anytime soon. The oni and his friends were a blast to be around, but you just weren’t the type to run around causing mischief. You worried that you would just end up being a killjoy. Instead of being a stick in their ever-exciting mud, you settled for hanging in the background of their antics and just reveling in their positive energy. You even brought your own entertainment so you wouldn’t be a bother to them. 

Itto on the other hand, had been dying to recruit you into the gang since FOREVER! You were so cool and smart all the time! But every time he offered you a spot, you politely declined. Damn! That just made you even cooler! He wouldn’t quit here though, it just wasn’t in his nature to give up on something so important. Itto gathered his boys and hashed out their next plan. Impressing you with their mad skills didn’t seem to do the trick. Maybe.... maybe they needed to impress you even HARDER! The gang chattered in excitement, an extravagant burping tournament already forming in their little heads.

“OR how about you try to appeal to Y/N’s interests?... Ya know, like trying to get to know them more?” Shinobu interjected before their tournament plan actually got momentum. Itto contemplated her words for a moment before breaking out into a wide grin. 

“Yeah, yeah yeah! You’re onto somethin’ Shinobu!” Itto praised. “I gotta show them how well we get them! Then Y/N will be begging to join the gang!” 

“Ok well... I don’t know about-” 

“Come on boys! We got some work to do!” It was too late. Itto was charging full steam ahead before his second in command could get another word in. The oni had to play it cool the next time he saw you. If you caught wind of what they were trying to do, it might ruin the whole plan. The whole operation was considered a “Super-Top-Secret-Arataki-Gang-Stealth-Mission”. It was all so brilliant, but the only problem was.... how was he supposed to figure out your interests without asking you? 

You were always so thoughtful, like when you make the time to listen to Itto rant on and on about his latest and greatest plans. He just wanted to listen about your favorite things too! Itto hardly took his eyes off you as you settled into your usual spot to read. That’s it! He’ll get into reading! That way he could talk book stuff or something! All he had to do was read all the books you read. Easy!  

The next day, Itto scoured high and low at every bookshop in for the title he saw you reading. He got some strange looks from some of the shop owners, but in the end he found it! He ended up selling a couple of his Genius Invokation TCG cards for the mora, but it would all be worth it in the end if it meant you would become their newest member. The oni was so excited he couldn’t even wait for the boys. He ended up sitting right outside the bookshop and cracking open the volume. Itto flipped around the pages, his version of ‘speed reading’ as he calls it, until a specific passage stuck out at him.

He sunk his teeth into her supple skin, and latched onto her neck. Red and purple love marks littered her needy body. Big rough hands gripped at her thighs, sharp claws claiming them for his own. The next sound was that of tearing fabric for her undergarments were no more. His mouth watered, it craved her, and he would restrain himself no longer.- 

“Boss! Did you find it?” Itto was startled when he heard his gang arrive. 

“Uhhhh HEy! Nope! Not a thing.” He said shutting the book and shooting to his feet. “Wow look at the time! I- uh... I got to go eat supple. I MeAN GEt SuPPER. Hahahah I A GOtta gO ByE!!!” Itto could hardly control the words spilling from his mouth. He took off running, leaving the gang utterly confused.

Itto struggled to sleep that night, unable to grasp the thought of you reading those graphic depictions all the time with a straight face. The next time you encountered the oni, it was transparently obvious that something was very wrong. Itto’s signature loud and confident personality had done a complete 180. He refused to look at you... like at all. You feared you’d done something to offend the big lovable goof and you decides this had to be sorted out right away.

“Itto is something wrong?” You had to resort to cornering the man to get him to talk to you. It was a humorous sight to see, you blocking the path of a huge oni that could easily barrel through you. Of course, the moment Itto’s eyes met yours, a fresh blush began to bloom across his face. He broke, instantly coming clean about everything.

“WeWantedToHaveYouJoinSOSoSoBadWeTriedToFindOutMoreAboutYouYourBookIsFullOfSomeDirtyScenesAndNowIDontThinkIWasSupposed-” Itto spoke impossibly fast and you couldn’t understand the flustered jumbled mess at all. You placed a comforting hand on his arm, encouraging him to take a deep breath. After giving him a moment to collect himself, you prompt him to start again but slowly... 

“The gang and I really like when you’re around. We want you to enjoy being around us too. So I thought if I, uh.... ya know. If I figured out what you were always reading about, that I would learn more about you. I just ah... didn’t expect the um...” 

“You read my...” You paused, the pieces finally slotted together in your head. “Oh archons! Uh actually, you can just leave me here Itto. I need to find a big rock to go die under now.” You said absolutely mortified. It was your turn to not be able to look for friend in the eye ever again. Covered your cheeks that were sure to be red as the oni’s horns now.

“What? Hey, come on now Y/N.” Itto jumped to action and like a switch he was immediately trying to cheer you up. “It’s not that bad! The rest of the gang doesn’t know a thing, and I promise my mouth is locked shut! I swear, oni’s honor!” He held one hand in the air and the other over his heart. “How about I tell you a secret? That way we’re even and no one has to be embarrassed, yeah?” Itto suggested. He leaned down to meet your eye line and to offer you a sweet smile. “Let’s see, ooooo I got it! So one time when I was practicing my mad skills on the beach my great sword slipped right out of my hand, the handle hit me straight on the noggin. Knocked me right out for hours.” You couldn’t help but giggle a little, it did sound very Itto after all. Seeing you smile spurred him to continue. “That’s not even the worst of it! When I woke up, bunch of salt water leaches were latched on my neck and chest. I couldn’t let the boys know, I have an image I gotta keep here. So when they asked me about the marks... I may have told a little tiny lie that they were hickeys.” Now you were struggling to breath with how hard you were laughing at the ridiculous story. 

“Okay okay I feel better. You win.” You hold up your hands in playful surrender and Itto’s triumphant smile was once again where it belonged. It reminded you why you loved his company so much.

“Of course I win! They don’t call me the one and oni for nothin! HAHA!” 

Xiao

Reading mortal ‘light novels’ was something relatively new to Xiao. He may not be able to see why you love it so much, but he respected seeing the passion in your eyes while recanting the epic fictional battles. It was endearing enough that the yaksha agreed to read some of the suggestions you made for him. The strange nuanced situations sometimes confused Xiao, but you were always happy to break it down logically for him. It had become a pleasant pass time for both of you.

“Y/N I finished this one.... It was good i think.” Xiao handed you back the book you had lent him. 

“Pfft, you think? Did you like the story?” You chuckled, amused. 

“The last one, I liked that one more.” The adeptus stated decisively. Xiao would never speak negatively about your interests. But... sometimes he opted to change the subject instead. 

“Ah, you have good taste.” You praised him, the excitement was evident from your expression. “I just finished the squeal yesterday! It should be on the desk over there, you should definitely check it out!” Xiao nodded and couldn't help but be amused. He grabbed the top book off your desk, not caring in particular if it was the correct one. The trivial plots were not his reason for doing any of this anyway. He would never tell you, but it was so he could in sit here beside you and just be content in your company. He didn’t know many people comfortable enough to spend hours together in silence. It was a relief not to be required to fill it with idle conversation. Xiao settled in the chair next to you and absentmindedly began to read the repetitive lines of words. Just  like the volumes before, he began to see the plot set up to follow the same tropes and struggles all over again except, huh....

He sat obediently in front his charge, and it was as if her power hungry gaze could swallow him whole. She wanted to control his every breath and moan while she had him here. His heart, body, and mind belonged to her to do with as she pleased. Her orders were direct and clear and he would always desperately follow. When he dis as he was told he was always rewarded by her noises of ecstasy. The sound of it sent a pleasant shiver down his own spine. He lived for this, for her, and he would serve her until she was nothing but satisfied-

“Xiao are you alright? You look feverish.“ Xiao tore his eyes from the pages and locked onto your concerned gaze. He was lost. How was he supposed to handle the thoughts swirling in his head? Your book was so... lewd. How could someone like you read? Did that mean you thought of.. “Xiao?”

In a split second, the yaksha was gone in a puff of black smoke. You were left alone and baffled by what the hell just happened. Was something wrong? He usually explained before leaving suddenly, or at least had the decency to say goodbye. You thought over and over in your head, but it all became clear when you spotted the abandoned romance novel on the chair. Ohhh no. 

-

It had been two weeks since your interaction Xiao. It only took a couple of days before you were able to push past your humiliation and call out to him. You waited.... but It became clear that the adeptus was avoiding you. Even your trips up to Wangshu Inn proved fruitless time and time again. Was this guy being serious right now? The remaining feelings of embarrassment and annoyance had completely dissolved into fear by the second week. You began feeling worried that your friend may have just completely dropped you, or was out there hurt. The weight of it all was eating away at you. You finally made the decision that you had to know for sure.

“XIAO!” You yelled off the rooftop of the inn. “I know you hear me! If you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, at least tell me to my face! I won’t force you to be my friend, but at least be honest! Please, I just can’t take this!” You call out loudly into the wind. It would look absolutely mad to any passersby but you didn’t care anymore. 

“You’re being absurd.” Xiao’s voice muttered, appearing without a sound on the rooftop.

“Xiao! I’m so glad you’re o-” You almost were so excited to see the boy again that you started to step forward without thinking. Remembering the situation, you restrained yourself. You wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable. It was obvious from his avoidant gaze and rosy complexion that he was just as uneasy as when you last saw him.

“Who’s telling you that I want nothing to do with you. It’s nothing but a lie.” Xiao stated seriously. Blush or not, he seemed offended by the accusation.

“No one said anything. I assumed as much since you’ve been ignoring me for weeks! What am I supposed to think Xiao?” You explained to him frustrated. You perhaps still felt a little hurt, but you didn’t realize how much. Not until you felt tears begin to prick at your eyes. “It’s hurtful to go from having a best friend, to meaning nothing to them.” You cross your arms and try to blink away the tears threatening to fall. Xiao is the one to step forward next, clearly processing what you had just said and barely coming to a realization. Fuck, this guy can be so dense sometimes.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I have hurt you while I was only thinking of my own shame.” His voice was soft and earnest. “Please believe me when I say, I never wanted to stop being close to you. And please allow me to resume doing so.” You smiled, of course forgiving Xiao without hesitation. But not without conditions.

“I forgive you... But as my best friend, you have to promise not to tell a living soul about that book. Not a peep, nothing! I’m talking, take this secret to your grave.” You beam up at him, officially declaring him your best friend for the first time. 

“R-right of course.” Xiao’s composure stuttered once again, a fierce blush returning to his cheeks. “I promise, not a word...”

<A/N: This was an ask from my old blog! I was scared for a moment it was lost to the ether but I found it in my documents! Writing flustered Scara is so fun NGL!>

[angeamant]

my disappearance ♡

hiii this is cynthia most commonly known as gentlehue/jgracie/irlangelics <3 i wasnt gonna make a post like this for reasons i'll go thru under the cut but after having three of you reach out to me on pinterest i thought it'd be unfair to leave everyone in the dark 💗 tagging @luvusrry @findmeonvenus / @daystarpoet and @bloodwrittenletters thank u for checking up on me lovelies xx

okay so the main reason i deactivated yesterday was because i realised being on here was negatively impacting my productivity LOL as you all probably know (because i never shut up about it) im in my second to last year of high school and everything i do now and next year is what has the largest impact on what uni i get into which then has a pretty big impact on where i end up in the future basically LMAO ���� my life is so busy these days between doing the whole ib itself which im still getting used to since the british system is so structured and tells you exactly what to do in comparison to ib where a lot of it is you doing your own thing & prepping for uni by researching diff courses and the lnat which is an exam i'll have to sit in order to apply to study law & also getting back into all my extracurricular/picking up new ones which is another thing i have to get used to since im SUCH an academically oriented person & a BUNCHHH of other things i wont be getting into rn 😭 and so i cannot afford to be lounging around in any way whatsoever right now!! this is the socmed app i spend the most time on and i tend to tell myself its ok cause im not replying to notifs im just scrolling which is so silly LOL but i need to eliminate that from my life soooo i left

a mini second reason why i left is smth thats gonna be rly hard for me to explain here & im pretty sure probs has smth to do w my ocd (another thing i dont rly like to talk ab that much so idk how many of u know this) but i have this thing where if something negatively impacts me or like if i have a negative association w it it becomes "imperfect" and i acc cannot have it around me like it physically disgusts me and i cant function or think or anything 😭 and thats what was happening w my tumblr account because of how it caused me soooo much procrastination and so little work done 😣 soz if this doesnt make any sense or if its weird but its smth ive had for years now and am slowly working on 😭 my perfectionism is so horrible too and tumblr makes it worse cause im always overthinking what my feed looks like 😫 like i cant have too many talking posts or too many asks or too many reblogs and im always doing them in a way that balances it out in my head and i spiral so bad over it 🙁

ANOTHER reason (wow lots of reasons) is cause ive begun to enjoy my real life so so much these days and dont want to be distracted by being online 😭 i love my friend group i love sixth form i love having a crush i love it all! a lot of my friends r graduating this year as well and so i probs wont be seeing them as often afterwards cause obvs theyre not all applying to unis in our city let alone our country !!! i dont wanna take this year for granted at ALL cause i'll so regret it if i do :(

the second thing im addressing is why i left w out saying anything LOL basically i knew if i posted smth and said my goodbyes i wouldn't commit to it at all 😭 and i need to seriously be disciplined w myself these days if i wanna be rich and traveling the world in 10 years 🫡

i dont know if i'll ever come back but im so so happy i got to know u all whether u knew me from jgracie or discovered me later on after i abandoned her im so glad i got to call u my lovely friends :) i carry a piece of you all wherever i go ♡ you know you'll always know me! i wont deactivate this account but i wont be active on it either unless i decide to fully come back, but if u send me an ask within this week i'll answer it xx

for those of you who are worried about my fics on jgracie, i made a backup account back in the summer and everything ive ever written is reblogged over there :) @cynarchives

[julilovesyou444]

the only exception ~ tom kaulitz

background: you and Tom had been hooking up for a while now, probably close to around half a year. you had a big crush on him but were very aware that he didn’t do relationships, so even though you were ‘physically’ with him, you never let yourself get super emotionally attached. Tom couldn’t say the same for himself, though. He wanted you, and only you.

warnings: nothing much just kissing and swearing lol

a/n~ sorry for being m.I.a!! I had to visit my dad in serbia and it sucked because I hate my dad and he hates me lolllll speaking of I wrote a fic that was requested where like the ready has daddy issues and tom like helps her through it but I think I made it wayyyy to like serious I think the word is? and its very long so I’m considering scrapping it idk, also I’m getting to all ur requests that I wanna do dont worry !!

~

“hello?”, i said, picking up my phone. it was tom, my long-term fling. I can’t remember exactly how I met him, or exactly how we started hooking-up. I had heard about his band before we met, and I thought they were cool, but i didn’t quite understand just how popular they were. Until after meeting Tom, i didnt know about his ‘reputation’ either. I didn’t know until after the first time we hooked up. He had made us trade numbers, and i was expecting a call at least a day or two after we had seen each other, but nothing. I decided to do some research, just to find out that the boy i was crushing on was in fact a hardcore player. A womanizer, if you will. Part of me wanted to never go out with him again, the smart part of me. But another part of me wanted him so badly, so overwhelmingly bad that I went with my heart instead of my head. I liked Tom, I really did. I couldn’t help it. But I didn’t want myself to get hurt, so I expected just about nothing from him. We fuck and then it’s over. Whenever he would ask me to stay the night or do any of that stuff, I would politely decline and leave. Sometimes we would go out and do non-sexual things, but they always ended sexual. I learned to become okay with that, and I ultimately stopped expecting us to do anything that was hooking up.

“Hey, are you busy?”, he asked.

“Hmm, i dont know, maybe, depends on why you’re calling.”, I teased. he chuckled.

“Uh-huh… well I was thinking, that if you’re free, I could take you out somewhere.”

“take me out, huh? is that code for fucking?”, this earned me another laugh.

“no, no, it can be, but I want to actually take you out.”, he chuckled.

“are you asking me out on a date?”, i asked, a little confused.

“…yes?”

I was quiet for a second, apparently a second too long.

“look if you dont want to, we don’t have to, I just thought-“, he started.

“no, no! sorry! I was thinking but yes, I’m free and we should go out!”, I interrupted. I heard him release a breath he was holding, probably one he didn’t intend for me to hear.

“okay, yea, cool. when can I pick you up?”

“hmm let’s say in about 30 minutes? does that work?”

“perfect.”

“mhm, I’ll see you then.”

“bye.”, he said just before I hung up.

tom kaulitz. taking me out on a date?? what????

I got up almost immediately and started to get ready. I wanted to look as cute as possible. I ran over to my wardrobe and searched through it for a good five minutes. I found this super cute, also pretty tiny, pleated denim skirt and this purple and black top that had a lot of lace detailing and these little puffy princess sleeves. I put on some jewelry, makeup, and these black boots I had. I left my hair down, i noticed that when I did, Tom always complimented it. I grabbed my purse and threw some gum, lipgloss, my phone, and my little digital camera in there.

I glanced at the clock and saw that he should be here any minute. I stepped outside and waited for about 3 minutes, which would’ve been fine, if it wasn’t as cold as it was. I didn’t feel like going back in, just in case he showed up right as i did. I was shivering a tiny bit and got some goosebumps, but to my relief, and pulled in front of my house not too much later. I got in, the warm air of his car heaters hitting me.

“shit, you look freezing. how long were you out there for?”, Tom asked, looking genuinely concerned.

“I’m cold but I’m fine.”, I laughed it off.

“okay, do you need a jacket or-“

“No!! I’m serious! I’m okay.”, I laughed some more.

“okay, okay! just checking.”, he smiled. I watched as his eyes did a quick scan over me.

“you look pretty. your hair looks really nice too.”, he said, his eyes averting back forward as he began to drive away.

“thank you. you don’t look too bad yourself.”

he playfully rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but smile as well.

“sooo… where are we going?”, I questioned.

“you’ll see.”

“Oh, c’mon. I hate surprises.”

“You’ll like this one, trust me.”

I sighed and faced myself back forward. Some radio station was playing softly in the background as we raced down the highway.

the drive to the mystery place wasn’t far, only a 20 minute drive, which I filled with a lot of talking. mainly about random stuff, Tom telling a few jokes which never failed to make me laugh. He pulled into a parking lot which only had a few other cars. I looked around, it looked like we were at some kind of fancy park. A garden maybe? He leaned over the center console and grabbed something from the backseat.

Tom dropped a large black zip up jacket in my lap.

“My jacket, so you aren’t freezing your ass off the entire time.”

“Oh, thank you.”, i said quietly. He got out of the car and made his way to the back. I followed his lead, getting out of the car, putting on the jacket but not zipping it. I walked around to the back of the car where the trunk was open. There were two big woven picnic baskets. Tom grabbed both and I shut the trunk door as he began to walk off. I caught up with him.

“Do you want me to carry one?”, i motioned to the baskets.

“It’s okay, just follow me.”, he said, continuing his venture into the park. I followed close behind.

We didn’t walk for long, it was a really beautiful park. There were lots of flowers and little benches everywhere. Lots of really big and beautiful trees too. We stopped in front of this big pond, the water was so clear you could see the miniature fish swimming. there was a swan that swam around too.

Tom opened one of the baskets, revealing a big blanket. Without a word, I helped him spread it out over the fluffy grass. He sat down on it and patted the little space next to him, indicating for me to sit down as well. I did. He grabbed the other basket next to him and moved it to be in front of us. Tom opened it and inside were a ton of snacks. All of my favorites. I was shocked to say the least.

“Oh my god, how did you know?”, i said, mouth slightly agaped. He looked proud of himself.

“You mentioned some of your favorite snacks once or twice.”, he nonchalantly shrugged.

“This is lovely, Tom.”, I replied, sounding as genuine as I ever had. His eyes met mine and I gave him a little smile which he returned.

“What is all of this for?”, i added.

“Just wanted to do something nice for you, I guess.”, he mumbled and looked away.

I gently placed my hand over his, his head turned to mine.

“I appreciate it, I really do.”, i smiled. my thumb caressed his hand for a second.

“I like spending time with you, y’know? even when we’re not…”, he trailed off. I laughed, taking my hand off his, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Tom.

I grabbed one of the many snacks he packed and started to eat. In between bites, I would ramble about different things. He always would just listen to me talk, admiring me as he did. This went on for a while. Tom started eating some. Somewhere in the midst of this, my position changed. I now had my head laid across his legs, my legs stretched out and my hair splayed all over his lap. i stopped eating and just started talking. Tom gazed down at me. Eventually he lit a cigarette and started smoking. He held the cigarettes between his pointer and middle finger, moving it down for me to take a puff. I did, peering into his eyes as I did so. They weren’t filled with their normal lust, but they looked like they had something else in them. I couldn’t figure it out.

Tom talked some too, mainly making crude jokes. I always laughed, no matter how stupid. I think he enjoyed that.

He took a hit and then leaned over, his mouth hovering over mine. I opened and allowed him to blow the smoke in my mouth. He sat back up and watched as slowly blew it out.

“I know this isn’t a normal thing to do when we ‘meet up’, but i really like it.”, Tom said, his fingers intertwined with the ends of my hair.

“Really?”, i asked. I knew for a fact he enjoyed my body, but I wasn’t aware he liked spending time with me when we weren’t doing one another.

“yea… why’s that so shocking?”

“Um, i dont know. I guess I thought you really only wanted sex from me.”

“Oh.”

“Yea..”

“Uh, I guess that’s just what I wanted at first. But the more I started seeing you, the more I wanted to see you again.”

“Oh?”

“Yea, and whenever I would invite you to stay over or do anything like that, you would always say no. Kind of assumed you were the one who only wanted me for sex.”

“I don’t, I just assumed you were trying to be polite or something. It’s stupid, I guess.”

“No, it’s not. At this point, you know me and you know the reputation I have, so i understood why you thought that.”

“Sorry…”, I muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Don’t be sorry.”

We sat in silence for a few moments, but it wasn’t awkward.

“I was thinking about maybe doing this kinda thing more often with you, I mean, we can still do our normal things we do, but maybe we can start doing more of this too.”

“What? Like go on dates?”, i furrowed my brows.

“Yea, something like that.”

“I feel like that’s something only couples do.”, i sorta laughed. He was quiet, which made me sit up, I looked over at him. He was staring at his lap in my absence.

“Is that… not a possibility?”, he murmured.

“But… I thought you dont do commitment? and relationships?”

“Yea, i dont usually.”

“I can’t go on dates with you and act all boyfriend-girlfriend unless you are actually going to commit. I’m not going to do that to myself, Tom. I can’t let myself get hurt like that.”, i said quietly but sternly. I had to be sensible, i didn’t want to be just another girl that got fooled by Tom Kaulitz.

“I know, but i want to try.”, he looked up at me with pleading eyes.

“What changed? What’s different now than from when I first met you?”, I asked, still unsure.

“I hate talking about my feelings.”, he huffed.

“I’m not gonna judge you or anything, I just need to know.”

“You changed me. You did. I didn’t want to date any of the girls I hooked up with for one night because they just weren’t worth it and they didn’t mean that much to me. You’re one of the only girls I’ve consistently seen for more than a month. I haven’t gotten with any other girl than you for like 4 months. I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t ignore it. And I want more of you. More than just the physical aspects. Dont get me wrong, I love those parts of you too, but i want you for more than just your body. Dude, I can’t stop saying stupid ass jokes to you just because I want to hear your laugh. So yeah, I haven’t ever really commited before because I didn’t really do relationship. But, for you, it’s different. You are the only exception.”

“What? Really? I had zero idea you felt that way at all…”, I replied, astounded.

“Well I do feel that way and have for a little while now.”

“You aren’t playing with me, right?”, i asked, still not believing it.

“Really?? I practically just confessed myself to you and you still don’t believe me?”

“Okay, I’m sorry! You’re right, this was just, unexpected from you.”

“So… what do you think?”

“I want you too, Tom.”, I managed to say. A smile grew on his once nervous face. He cupped my face in his hands and began to lean in.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Mhm.”, i responded. He kissed me so passionately, I felt like I was floating. My hand went to his jaw, my thumb subconsciously tracing little hearts on his lower cheek. I could feel him smile into the kiss. I pulled away, my forehead still connected with his. I started giggling a little, looking away and hiding my face.

“Oh, c’mon. Dont be shy, now.”, Tom pulled my back towards him so I was leaned against his frame, his arms wrapped around my torso. He left little kisses on the top of my head.

“Wow.”

“Hm?”, he hummed.

“Can’t believe I was your only exception.”, i said with a cocky smile in attempt to poke fun at him.

I could feel him roll his eyes.

“Uh-huh, whatever. Its true.”

“I kinda never thought this day would come.”, i said, my finger trailing up and down his, that rested on my stomach.

“Yea, me too, I guess. But I’m glad that it did.”

I smiled, turning my head around to kiss him again.

A new beginning.

His first real relationship.

It was me, I was his only exception.

Something about that phrase made me feel like the most special girl in the world.

~

[aztarion]

hiii jez, your sol tag is incredible and i love everything about her!! best aesthetic & best most fucked up vampire bbgirl of all time <3 do you have any interesting facts or random tidbits of lore about her that you are willing to share or link me to? wish to know everything & more about her asap tysm 🥰

whaaaat hi bree!! 😭 that oc tag is so thrown together and unorganised girl youre insane putting yourself through that but omfg its til death do us part now 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

i dont really post writing with my ocs much on tumblr but i blabbered for like an hour here im so sorry in advance i hope its a little entertaining…. tw for ed mention and self harm but its just your regular vtm stuff if youre familiar with the background ttrpg

soledad is her courier alias, she usually goes by that or the inevitable nickname sol, which doubles as a small remnant of her old life — her real name is solona ^^

she is first gen mexican-filipina, grew up in california before moving to arizona

didn’t care for academics much; preferred working with her hands — she dropped out of studies as soon as it was acceptable and went into business training under her dad and older brother as a mechanic

very laidback, easygoing, quietly contented; never had sprawling ambitions or aspirations and she was cool with that (was and is a little bit of a perfectionist with her work tho). this created a wedge with her mom who did nawt like the notion of her only daughter wasting prime years and a pretty face in a dingy garage. (i never get it *exactly* how i want in art & have never found a faceclaim i love, but i kinda picture her overall look as like. a timeless, slightly restless sort of dark beauty; like her eyes are always trying to tell you something in spite of herself, even when she looks totally serene lol)

anyway! one of moms fears are realized — sol ends up with a very noticeable facial scar (semi glasgow smile? mouth to under ear and a little further than that even, cheek just super spliced) due to an accident in the garage. sad! oh well she’s the joker now (or she will be after julian)

wait actually while im yapping about backstory i deviate a little from the game options just to make things more juicy and personal but! to me she first meets julian having to work on his suzuki and they hit it off. pre-night road as mentioned she is very easygoing — easily charmed and is herself charming — they def get along like a house on fire. julian would no doubt mentally take note of her whole roll-with-the-punches, laissez-faire attitude — naturally that just seems like a quality that might come in handy when you bite someone and turn them into a creature of the night. also the attentive, methodical approach she takes to her work, and when needed, her on the spot workarounds — he doesn’t want some dumb unreliable chump childe. and alright bear with him here: so it’s not relevant strictly in terms of her being thee potential great american embrace candidate he may be planning for right now, but man shes kiiiiinda cute and the scar is kiiiiiiiinda badass and its kiiiiinda hot that she knows exactly what she’s doing under the hood.…….Julian’s of course no slouch but he prefers it when others are doing the dirty work for him and she knows her stuff. so he’s thinking yeah this might work out. wait did she just say she plays nintendo too — oh this is definitely working out.

well it didn’t work out — sol ends up caitiff. julian accidentally botched her embrace 👍 whoops. but he teaches her blood sorcery as soon as possible — she can fly under the radar as a regular banu haqim. so it does work out! the sire/childe bond likely did some heavy lifting in terms of their relationship but sol was still pretty dopey heart eyes for julian in the beginning, like truly thought he was brilliant and funny and followed whatever he said no questions — really trusted him, figured with him being more experienced and so whipsmart and knowledgeable that he was utterly infallible. julian knew best and like didn’t he keep her safe trying to cover for the whole clanless thing……how could he have anything but Good Intentions dot dot dot……

in the decade after julian goes MIA, sol’s entire demeanor takes a nosedive. in the ingame text, julian and d’espine are described as being ‘fledgling-like’ in that they still have that liveliness to them, like a constant subtle Blush of Life effect. sol had that too in the years w julian, but after so long alone and having to maintain that isolation in order to ghost by in both the human world and undead while drugrunning & couriering, she gets cold — corpse and mind. outwardly she’s very composed; there’s little to no animation (no once-effortless smile, not even a ghost of the dimple in her unscarred cheek ! ) but her inner monologue is distrustful, has aged — is honestly a little paranoid and bitter sometimes — and overly nervous where she once would never have been. when julian returns it’s noted how young he still seems in comparison. that doesnt help the grudge she holds

i think her nerves skyrocket even more so when she feels aila stir. while u cant choose merits/flaws in night road like the table top, i feel like she would have the bulimic derangement that causes a kindred to gorge or throw up blood at random after feeding due to stress — she’s literally just THAT internally anxious. the game makes a point ensuring youre well fed on your next visit to tucson’s elysium since you showed up starving at the beginning, but after the office confrontation with lettow asking what happened to aila — which despite going successfully & having an excellent relationship with him — sol still probably LEGS it out of the viper once dove interrupts and ends up vomiting in an alley before jumping in her car🤦‍♀️ so much for paying alexander to acquire blood and making a good impression this time…..what a waste. and u know what Riga probably saw the whole mortifying ordeal too smh

ok im sorry i could talk abt the entire game like this i have so many headcanons

ooh straight up just facts & a little tldr:

so she’s 5’8; long pretty neck, slim hourglass figure with soft heavy curves, distinctly confident arms and legs, various tattoos: depictions of scorpions and snakes, the sun, spanish and tagalog script in black and red ink. she’s around whatever Julian’s human age wouldve been, i guess mid twenties range

is Julian’s Childe but due to a botched embrace ends up caitiff. masquerades as a banu haqim that, when in the presence of more prejudiced vampire society, in turn masquerades as something traditionally camarilla-fronting: malk/toreador/ventrue, whatever. it’s complicated! por los clavos de cristo does she wish she was back in that shitty little garage 20 yrs ago

throws up when nervous; is constantly a little hungry and risking an oops moment but for the most part maintains iron composure — its become a whittled and useful hard shell

learns blood sorcery right off the bat from julian, learns protean from lettow after staking reremouse w him. she usually keeps things clean and impersonal with a gun and deft precision (and elena with more guns!) but she still likes working with her hands: in close combat, especially when it involves other supernaturals, she keeps elena out of the fight and doubles up that weird combo of blood sorcery + protean — is frankly just a messy blur of slit wrists bloody sigils and slashing claws. (ough wanna draw this ugly visual so bad but omg i just know it wouldn’t work out w my skillset rn)

omg i feel like ive gone on forever in a bunch of directions while saying nothing helpp. ill stop here and spare you! thank you so much for asking bree!! :D <3 you have to tell me about your courier now!!

^ us night roading

[yuukei-yikes]

Hey vinnie! Really love your comics! I was wondering, what's your process when it comes to drawing them? Do you come up with dialogue first or draw the figures and piece together the dialogue, and how do you go about doing layouts?

this ask reminded me i have a whole ass "process vid" of THIS COMIC from over a year ago where u can see exactly what i do to plan that comic lol this is embarrassing i never thought id share it so do NOT be mean

i was curious myself how it looked which is why i made it heh this is 50 min of footage in almost 2 mins and idk why my superhero movie is the song of choice this is from a while ago OK... u can see i literally have no idea what im doing i just DOODLE i just go for it

i talk some more under the cut i <3 art but i am a serial doodler

i use the power of imagination a whole lot bc i have a pretty busy life so when i get an idea im like working it out in my mind as i live my normal ass life. when i actually do sit down to make it, first i sketch it all and will usually write certain bits in each "page"

its pretty similar. but as u can see i tend to skip some dialogues that im like. meh ill figure it out later. i just write what i know i wanted to add. and then i figure out the rest when i get to it, or i even change up what i already got, which results in it not being super planned. for example here i made ayano repeat "this is something..." in both her dialogues and i didnt realize until i finished and read the whole thing over but i was lazy to change it heh... but that was bc i write as i go and u can tell in mistakes like that.

as for layouts... erm i barely make actual layouts. this is kind of the same process for everything LOL except sometimes i feel like making actual boxes to put the characters in, but otherwise u can see that the majority of my comics are just all over the place like this. during the sketch i do separate it but then i try to divide it with only the speach bubbles. the layout where i put little boxes is when i dont mind making many pages, bc it fits less stuff.

otherwose i tend to do stuff like this:

which looks a lot more crowded. the reason is, i post here and on twitter (more amphibia on twitter) and since u have a limited amount of pics u can post (here in tumblr it used to be 10 pics), i wanted to fit as much as possible in only 1 page so it wouldnt be too many pics, and it morphed into this sort of layout that i became used to.

im a Go For It kinda guy when it comes to drawing. i like doodling and sketching and going with whatever i got first. the only reason i dont start the comic right away and even do the sketching first is bc i want to figure out where ill put everything, not so much bc im worried abt the art looking better in one or the other. as u can see the art is very similar in both cases

[shootingcookielover]

Ducktales 2017 Dystopia Alternate Universe

After losing Della to space, Scrooge 180's into taking over the world to keep people safe from adventuring. (Yeah, u can imagine bradford's reaction xD)

This, surprisingly enough, doesnt necessarily change a lot for ur average, non-magical entity.

But now magically inclined people, to fully magic people r being hunted/locked up/etc.

Beakley, with Webby in tow, leaves the manor as soon as she realizes what he's doing. She tries to return to SHUSH, to warn them, do anything - but it's too late. SHUSH is already in Scrooge's hands.

While trying to evade shush/fowl/scrooge to protect her granddaughter and maybe start a resistance or something against mcduck's regime, she runs into a homeless teenager who is being hunted as well. Because she is a purely magical entity and thus entirely too dangerous.

This, of course, is Lena. (I'm assuming Lena doesn't really... Age? Considering that Magica made her when she was imprisoned and that was, presumably, a while ago lol)

They end up helping/covering for each other, to stay safe. Lena and Webby r basically siblings lol

They eventually find that there is a rebellion, a resistance, trying to fight against the grip mcduck has on the world and the discrimination against magical creatures. Who is leading this rebellion?

Glittering Goldie O'Gilt, baby! I just think she'd make a great rebel leader, especially when she realizes how utterly insane Scrooge has gotten.

She's not just doing this for the world, she's hoping she can maybe punch some sense into scrooge after taking him down.

Donald Duck, meanwhile, has no clue what's going on, not really. Being neither a magical entity nor really still in the adventuring business, Scrooge's changes haven't really affected him much - besides, he has the boys to take care of.

(aside from that weird letter from storkules; but that's probably nothing.)

The boys eventually need a babysitter. During their time at the mansion - a strangely empty mansion, mind you, with no magical artefacts, no mementos to old adventures - they end up finding that prophecy abt atlantis. (Or something like that.)

Cue Scrooge's driver, Launchpad "I'm a pilot" McQuack who has exactly zero qualms taking three boys on an adventure in a submarine.

I dont think Donald would still work with Glomgold in this instance - maybe instead he unknowingly hired on to the rebellion or smth? Either way, atlantis shenanigans happen.

The rebellion people donald works for - Beakley, probably, maybe even Webby is there - tell donald he shouldn't return to his uncle with the boys, but donald just rolls his eyes and insists they need to take accountability. Also scrooge needs to take accountability for putting them in danger in the first place.

Scrooge is not happy to find out that his nephew and his nephews went out adventuring. He fires Launchpad on the spot. (Launchpad def gets hired by the rebellion later)

But also, he wants to imprison the boys - for their own good, of course. Adventuring is dangerous and such dangerous inclinations cannot be allowed to run wild among the populace.

Donald (obviously) does not like this.

He tries to bust them all out (the boys are very surprised/impressed at Donald's fighting ability) but of course he hasnt done anything like this in years, he's rusty. And his uncle knows him well enough to counter him.

The sentence "I thought you'd know better, Donald, I really did. Especially after what happened to your sister." Falls at some point.

Lucky for the duck boys, Webby convinced Beakley to trail them, so now we get agent 22 busting them out! Yay! Except she gets taken prisoner in the process! Oh no!

The ducks find Webby who is, understandably, very upset at having her grandma taken, but also understands that the five of them have no chance of busting her out. So, she takes them back to the rebellion.

A rebellion probably consisting of like, Goldie (duh), Lena, maybe some of the Beagle Boys? There was that one magician beagle boy so i'm assuming he at least is there, and some other assorted magical/dangerous people/creatures. B.O.Y.D. probably, too, actually. I'm imagining Gyro got locked up - if only due to his, yknow, building B.O.Y.D. in the first place.

Oh, and once della comes back from the moon she's most definitely not teaming up with scrooge - something that really makes scrooge think i'd imagine. May even trigger his eventual redemption arc? Though having him as a villain through the whole thing could also be fun tbh

This is all i have so far tbh, but feel free to take the concept and run w it if u wanna, i had a blast coming up w even this much tbh xD i'd love to see other people take a crack at it (or expand it even!) so like, it's free real estate (just tell me if ur doing anything w this, i wanna see that lol)

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

what is this jean/Jeremy/Kevin thing it looks interesting and the art is cool

oh boy oh boy!!!!!!!! i am absolutely going through it anon. so basically there is this book series called all for the game by nora sakavic that you should totally read (the first book is called the foxhole court -- but please check out a list of trigger warnings for it because it is very heavy and deals with a lot of serious and painful topics. i myself have had to disconnect for some of the scenes and come back when i was ready; its completely okay to do so, or to not read the books at all if its uncomfortable). its about gay athletes, guys just going through the absolute worst, the yakuza, fucked up families, a running game of how pathetic can you get answered in 15 different ways by each person, fucked up relationships, all not-so-neatly packaged into a completely made up fictional sport. (its funny because i am NOT a sports person and barely even understand cricket even though i watch it all the time, but i know the rules of exy forwards, backwards, and inside out. its that serious.)

i also need to warn you that the first book is slow. the second book is also kind of slow. i personally didnt have any trouble with it because im more of a character reader and aftg had PLENTYYY to keep me busy, but i think its a fair warning if youre sensitive to pace. however. the payoff is so incredibly worth it. its an amazing read with obsession-worthy characters, detailed and balanced plot beats, flowing and natural dialogue, very creative sports , and the relationships will make you want to reread it twenty thousand times. the romance is also the slowest burn to ever burn. if youre going in for romance at the start, you Will Not Get what you want -- but you will get it. i think we as a fandom focus on the romances a lot (im new so dont take my word for it) but its 1) because we're tumblr dont come and 2) because the romances and relationships are incredibly interesting to see through the lens of the books and vice versa. what i really love most (and youll see this in the ec doc) is that it feels like each and every choice was deliberately made by the author to make the book. like. down to the ice cream flavor they get at one point. especially with the sunshine court, i feel like i can see exactly where she made a choice and what mightve happened if that choice wasnt made. its intoxicated to read. it feels like breathing and it feels like drowning.

i just read the sunshine court (where jean and jeremy are more from) so thats what all the recent stuff has been, but you should read the foxhole court series first for it to make sense. i think tsc is 100000x times better and better written than tfc but you have to work for it lol. and!!!!! the author is on tumblr (@/korakos)! also if you do read it, please tell me!!!!!! you can keep sending anons or you can dm me or you can come to my house and live in my room but tell me!!!!! theres also an extra content doc (thanks @jeansyvesmoreau for sending this to me) between the series' (so after the kings men, before the sunshine court) that you should definitely definitely read. but im getting ahead of myself.

i hope that helps?? or at least doesnt hurt. if you liked the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater, i think this is a good step up. let me know if you have any questions at all!!

okay ive been normal for this whole thing, ranting and incoherent noises below cut:

ANON ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD ITS SO GOOD. ITS SO GOOD. i told mel this but i cant possibly say i love these books because its not necessarily love. its not something i can explain but youll get it if you read it. there is a piece of my soul that was carved out, reformed, and then put back into me by nora sakavic. i dont think ill ever be the same again. i need a therapist who has read these books so they can understand exactly what im going through. each character was like a bomb to me. jean moreau is like a straitjacket. they mean so much to me. theyre nothing. i hate them. i need to feed them breakfast. OUGHHHHHHHHORGHEURGHEOGH. there is so much grief entangled with them but they are so vibrant and full of life it hurts. i cant stop thinking about them. i finished tsc yesterday and ive been sobbing ever since. i am dead serious. i cried myself to sleep last night thinking about one of the characters. i need you to know how real i am being.

i think if i meet nora sakavic i will probably kill her. just fully black out and kill her and not even know it. so i wont meet her for the better! but i need this to be out there. my fingers hurt from typing all this but know that there is MORE in my head. so much more. i am fit to burst with it all. love you anon thanks for asking

[youremyheaven]

any tips on how to start dressing better?

id loveee to dress with a more artsy, feminine style (for context i study arts, so visual arts, music, dance, theatre, but also business in the arts!) and i love love love your style like its literally how id dress daily if i could. i love style inspos like that but i don’t know how to maximise outfits with a few pieces, especially girly fits. i also love certain boyish/male-dominated sports and when i watch or attend the events id like to dress girly-ish? but also dress “right”, so shorts and stuff because its SO HOT but a lot of the places i work and study at are also rich people places so i also want to fit in and be taken seriously (i say this like i dont maximise my young and sweet girl persona to get around sometimes but still) 🫤🫤 i love your style because its so feminine and romantic and sweet and classy and timeless and i dress like that at times…. not always because i don’t know how to maximise my pieces but i thought you’d know best 😓😓

hope you have a lovely day ahead!

general tips on finding your style: (I won't say "dress better" bc that's very relative and can mean so many different things although I completely understand what u mean in your context)

start making pinterest boards

it helped me soooo much in understanding what i was drawn to and the recurring/repeating motifs that showed up in the outfits i was inspired by

you can make several diff boards for diff occasions like "outfits for class" or "outfits for parties" and each can have a diff vibe that suits your needs

when we think of personal style very broadly, we tend to be overwhelmed so browse through pinterest and look at outfits for inspo and you'll have a realistic idea of what you'd like to wear

2. understand your body and vibe/essence

this is where Kibbe and Kitchener theories help the most but i feel like most people nowadays use it to beat themselves up for being a certain Kibbe type or being delusional about the kind of essences they have etc

however, if you have a good grasp of Kibbe/Kitchener, it makes dressing up 10000x times simpler,, my personal style has improved SOOO much since i discovered Kibbe & Kitchener in 2021-2022,,,

3. build a "uniform" for yourself

if u look at my style moodboards, u can see how most of the outfits are kinda similar ish?? they're either slip dresses, sundresses, maxi skirts + tops, midi skirts + tops and generally adhere to a pink + green/blue palette (i call it my strawberry shortcake color scheme hehe)

once u find what u like + what flatters u , stick to it tbh. its faaaar easier to get dressed if you know exactly what you're going for. its 100% more convenient and people are going to associate you with that look/aesthetic and i think its important to have a strong personal "brand" if u want to be distinct and memorable.

its even better bc if you ever wear something slightly different, people are going to lose their minds lol when all u did was channel a different vibe. its like a 0 cost makeover effect.

i think its economical, efficient, memorable and overall wonderful to build a personal "uniform" and stick to it

i can wear those outfits (from my moodboard) to class, to brunch, to dates, to shop etc,, they're very flexible and aren't overly dressy or overly casual.

i only buy something if i feel like i can wear it everyday, obviously some pieces are more dressy and are for "special occasions" but generally, dont buy anything you cant see yourself wear every single day.

im not saying you SHOULD wear it everyday but that, that should be the intention. clothes are meant to be worn and used, not just look pretty on the hanger. so when you're in the trial room, ask yourself, will i feel comfortable and cute wearing this everyday for a week straight if need be?

you can build a uniform for diff occasions too!! so sporty events can mean pink camisole with lace trims and cut off shorts with baseball cap and strawberry print Vans sneakers or some variation of that

4. maximising your pieces!!! (finally answering THE question u asked but we already know that i need to yap a bit to get to the point lmao)

i am a mix and match girlie and i think thats just the most efficient and economical approach to fashion lmao

take out everything in your wardrobe and lay it all out on your bed and start trying on different pieces together and take full length mirror selfies

create a folder in your gallery for "outfit ideas" and save these pix to that folder 😉

you can thoroughly clean out your closet and critically evaluate everything you own and play dress up and have fun all at once!! when you play around with clothes you own, you'll come up with outfit combos you would have never dreamt of and having them stored in your handy folder will help u access them quickly in the future when u have somewhere to go and need some ideas!!!

it will also help you understand what you have too little of and what u have too much of

maybe u have 10 pairs of pants and 5 skirts and only 6 tops,, now u know what u should and shouldnt shop for in the future

id never encourage unnecessary shopping but if your budget allows for it,, u can buy some "core pieces" that will be foundational to your wardrobe

anything can be worn a million different ways, u just have to be creative

understanding how colours work together + how fabrics work together is very beneficial

if u have a baby pink tulip skirt, u can wear it with a white corset top (pink and white look amazing together) ,, you can wear it with a white satin button down shirt, a white lace trim tank top etc etc,, notice how all of these are different styles of top wear but they're all white which means you can also wear it with any other colour or piece in your wardrobe

for every "standout/statement" piece your purchase (ex: a skirt with heavy embroidery or patterns) you should have 3 or more "neutral" pieces that complement it. "neutral" pieces are the ones that work with everything or most things in your wardrobe.

if you love monochrome, then u do u but otherwise id say buy pieces in colours you dont already have,,, u dont have to buy colours u hate but having pops of colour in your wardrobe also helps maximise outfits bc it looks like u have made more of an effort than u have.

many people hesitate to "wear" colour bc they think it looks loud or that it doesnt have repeat value or whatever but thats not true!! u can wear the same colourful piece thrice a week and style it completely differently and no one will notice

accessories ARE KEYYYY,, u can dress up or dress down a look with them. build a little collection of your staples, like jewellery u can wear everyday and not take off?? have a handful of essentials that u can rely on to spice up outfits. a pair of gold hoops, a pair of dangly earrings, a cute pendant, another cute pendant u can switch it up with, a few rings or bracelets, a watch etc u dont have to buy a lot or have a lot, u just have to be smart!!

same goes for shoes and bags,, have 2-3 in rotation that works with majority of your wardrobe,, nobody needs 10 pairs of shoes or bags tbh ,, dont hesitate to repeat things, it'll just be your "signature" look and who doesnt want a signature look?? 💅🏻😌😌

also since u mentioned u dont know how to maximise girly fits with a few pieces, I GOTCHU

its more efficient to invest in skirts and tops than dresses if u are on a budget bc a dress is an outfit in itself and u cant repeat it too often (u can get vvv creative with the styling tho ngl but thats for later)

im going to give you a very simple idea (?? ish?)

this is a very basic white tank top. it looks cuter and "feminine" bc it has lace trims. what makes an outfit feel more girly is often little details like this. so instead of wearing a basic tank top, pick something that is a bit frilly.

u can easily create an infinite number of outfits with this one piece

(i know they're not all wearing the same identical tank top but im just showing u the diff possibilities)

this is a pink satin skirt styled 3 ways:

u only really need a few pieces tbh and the rest is just wearing them in different wayyyyss

idk how helpful this was but ur so sweet 🥺🥺and im so happy u like my style hehe<333

hope u have a lovely day/night and i hope u have a lot of fun with fashion too <33

edit: also just take ur time, u don't have to fix everything overnight and spend money u don't have to buy things that aren't strictly necessary. this is a long term project and it may take months or years to have a solid capsule wardrobe full of pieces you can style and wear in interesting ways

[fishys-still-writing-smut]

Size Comparison

Chiaki compares Makoto and Hinata. The Gamer heard that the Luckster is huge down there, she needs to see if that is true.

Warning: Lewd Content Below

(love these three together, so decided to try something new for them)

[10/3, 1:24 AM, private DM]

Ass Effect: hey hey hey

God of Whore: Hey Chiaki! What's up?

Ass Effect: missing you :*(

Ass Effect: how's the night shift

God of Whore: Eh. It's part time and late so not exactly busy. I'm just sitting alone in the security office like usual. Only issue is boredom.

Ass Effect: You're alone, right?

God of Whore: Yeah. They leave the store guard alone all night.

Ass Effect: *bubblebutt.jpg*

God of Whore: Chiaki!

Ass Effect: it misses you :*(

God of Whore: Fuck are you trying to get me fired?

Ass Effect: would you be home more if you did?

God of Whore: Haha.

Ass Effect: May I please see my best friend? Since you are alone.

God of Whore: I hate that you typed formally when you asked

God of Whore: *dickpic.png*

Ass Effect: :))))))

God of Whore: Happy?

Ass Effect: very

Ass Effect: i wish there was two of you so i could always keep one around whenever i need to fuck

Ass Effect: *angryhornygamerbitch.jpg*

Ass Effect: because i want your night shifts to be working on me

God of Whore: …God I love my slut wife.

Ass Effect: <3

God of Whore: Ever thought about introducing a third for sex stuff?

Ass Effect: you've seen my search history

God of Whore: Fair lol. But it could be a fun foreplay activity. Finding someone like me to be my “clone”, as you put it.

Ass Effect: you mean I can finally see my coworkers dick?

God of Whore: …why am I not surprised that you thought about this often?

Ass Effect: dont judge

Ass Effect: makoto looks like you

Ass Effect: but like 10 years younger and a twink

God of Whore: I guess that means my whore wants to be leant out huh?

Ass Effect: you know it~

Ass Effect: though just for foreplay

Ass Effect: i doubt his dick will get me as horny as yours

God of Whore: If you insist. But do you know how to convince him?

Ass Effect: nicknames not just for show babe ;)

Ass Effect: ill just wear booty shorts to work tomorrow and he will definitely join us the same night

Ass Effect: see you tomorrow <3

God of Whore: <3!

[10/5, 1:34 AM, private DM]

Ass Effect: *lookmomnewsunglasses.jpg*

God of Whore: You really like that picture huh?

Ass Effect: it's two dicks covering my eyelids

Ass Effect: 18 year old me would have exploded

God of Whore: Like your coworker friend did in you, Ms. “Foreplay only”?

Ass Effect: shut

Ass Effect: how was I supposed to know his dick was bigger than yours?

Ass Effect: but not as thick as you bb <3

God of Whore: Trust me my ego is not that fragile lol. Plus, you had fun, so I'm happy!

Ass Effect: id also an ego if my dick looks liked that

Ass Effect: *lookmombothhands.jpg*

God of Whore: How many of the photos I took did you save?

Ass Effect: mahiru really taught you how to take good ones

Ass Effect: like this one

Ass Effect: *lookbabehesinmyass.jpg*

God of Whore: You’re having a little too much fun with these jpeg names.

God of Whores: Like Makoto had a little too much fun in your ass ;)

Ass Effect: gjeignsndlvngeijgirgjisndogkfojeojnrgndf

Ass Effect: no fair

Ass Effect: winky faces and flirting are my special moves

Ass Effect: you cant make me horny with them >:{

God of Whore: Awwww. What, miss my dick? Or do you want more “foreplay” with your friend again?

Ass Effect:...

God of Whore: Really babe?!?

Ass Effect: :3

God of Whore: God, what am I ever going to do with you? Well if I’m at work and you ever need it…

Ass Effect: :D

God of Whore: Oh, you know I could never say no to you, my greedy little whore.

Ass Effect: fuck yes

Ass Effect: tho only foreplay this time

Ass Effect: i doubt i could get off with just him there

God of Whore: If you say so.

Ass Effect: i do

Ass Effect: trust me

[10/6, 12:04 AM, private DM]

God of Whore: How’s the “foreplay” going?

Ass Effect: PISHGORSHFEOFJFIDJBSI

Ass Effect: FUCK HE’S SO BIG

God of Whore: There’s the bitch I love.

[cator99]

I very respectfully, tactfully, reasonably addressed the flag issue with my housemates, stated my perspective, was well-received by almost everyone, only for The ACAB Tattoo FTMs shut it down, citing how POC can't hide their marginalization so as a white person I have a responsibility to take on some of the burden & the risk of visibility. So of course with everyones white guilt activated they went Oh, Right! (Love when "minority issues" are nonsensically flattened onto the same plane) I even addressed prior to this that yes I do think it does make a positive impact when other people are able to feel welcome and supported in the neighbourhood by knowing there's other LGBT people but when I come home to a burnt flag vandalized with homophobia waiting for me on the welcome mat, knowing that if I had been home 2 minutes sooner I would have seen it happen, I feel neither welcome nor supported & I dont think that flags & sloganeering come close to being helpful for anyone in the long run especially when the people in the community being advocated for by said flags & slogans are being put at risk by what is supposed to serve as a signifier of solidarity. This isnt solidarity, its asking that we needlessly put ourselves in potential danger for the wellbeing of– who, exactly? They spewed out something about how my "trauma response" is "valid" (flase virtue moment! Reducing the issue to aesthetic representations of Freedom while depriving the people it represents of anything resembling such a thing!) but we have a "responsibility" to be "visibly queer". As if I have not primarily moved through the world as such. As if the times I have been stealth werent predicated upon a lifetime of ostracization harassment and outright abuse for being a gender nonconforming female & a homosexual one at that. I dont wallow in it but come on! What does any of this do for anyone! Good Feels dont pay the rent or provide legal protections. But of course people like these housemates of mine think legal protections = assimilationist & society needs to be burned to the ground & the average working class person is too problematic to be saved so lets just kill everyone but also we were put on this earth to love one another lol OK why dont you start first by showing you posess the capacity to be considerate about the people within your own household? This whole activist larp is such an obvious ego thing... Come on. Even thinking outside of my own desire for dignity how is anyone Im supposed to be useful to others in any way if they're busy dealing with being harassed? How could I ever hope to "help the LGBT community"– since that's apparently all that matters god forbid a female lead ones own life without being a martyr one way or a fucking other– in the long run, if in the short-term I cant just go home & not have to worry about my roommates doing something stupid like gluing shards of glass to the back of the new flag which will only serve to further anger people intent on harassing us, potentially escalating the situation?

[csuitebitches]

hello angel so this might be a really weird ask but i really really need some advice as a professional and like a friend of a sort. i work at a hotel. im just a server. its nice, not a five star but its good. some business men come in but its nothing like the books like people may think these days lol these men are like in their 40s-50s.

im into tech things and i met this 30-40 yo guy who runs a tech company. hes from the uk, i showed him around, he compliments me, we chat. i give him my linkedin. i meet him the next day at work and he asks for my number and i gave it. but i must be stupid for doing that because during our small talk, he started asking what places i like and if he can take me out to one of them. i asked if this was business or friendly and he said... "friendly. but ill let you know my intentions." this man got a son lol. and im 20. right now i really feel like i messed up and i feel really serious about privacy and i just gave my number out like that. but i dont want to ignore it if he texts me and he ends up coming to my work place as a regular. most of these guests are regulars.

im so sad but also scared. i was just trying to "network" like people say but all these men want to do is just be more than friends. im about to cryyyy lol bc i feel so ashamed of be carelessly giving my number out like that. i dont know what to do or how to feel, i was wondering if you can help me or give any of your thoughts?

first of all, there’s nothing for you to feel ashamed of. Yes, you shouldn’t have given your number out but hey I’ve been 20 and naive too. I’ve done exactly what you’ve done when I was younger and let me tell you, you’ll forget about it sooner or later.

Don’t reply to any of his messages immediately, don’t open them immediately, and don’t answer his calls. Give extremely formal, polite responses. Eventually, in a few days, stop replying altogether. Don’t block him just yet - give it a couple of weeks. Remove him from LinkedIn in a week or two - don’t block, just remove him as a connection.

if he follows up with you and asks about taking you to any place, be very polite and say : “thank you for the offer, but unfortunately I’ll have to decline it. Have a good evening!”

you dont owe anyone an explanation as to why you blocked/ deleted/ removed someone’s number/ why you don’t want to meet them. Always remember that. You don’t owe that justification to anyone but yourself.

if he keeps pestering you, that’s when you hit the block button without a second thought.

If you have a friend who you can confide in at work, do so but very discreetly. Don’t give out all the details, simply tell your friend that you found the vibe of this guy a little off, and if they could serve him instead of you if he comes back. Cover your bases but without exposing every tiny detail. The last thing you want is for this to be blown out of proportion.

and lastly. Don’t stress over it. Don’t cry over it, don’t feel terrible. You made a mistake and that’s fine, let’s move on. You’ve learned from this little episode that you should not cross any personal boundaries especially at work.

[lottie1824]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @strawberriesinmoominvalley 🧡

How many works do you have on AO3?

Erm 62 works! I haven't the faintest idea how I've done that many

What's your total AO3 word count?

225,527, which I still can't believe I've written that much!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5 times Lando wore Oscar's clothes plus 1 time Oscar wore Lando's - 997 kudos

Ozzy- 752 kudos

4+2=6 (Wheels)- 576 kudos

The Big (Or Rather Little) Matter of Spoons (done with @jaecantwrite)- 546 kudos

The Happy, The Sad and The Murderous Intentions- 516 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try and respond to all the comments that I get because I want to thank the readers for their interactions with my fic and thank then for reading my fic. But, it might sometimes take a bit of time depending on how busy/motivated I am

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Erm, thats a difficult one. I have like a few with really angsty endings but I'll probably say that It Starts with a Text and Ends with a Letter is the worst offender

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Somehow, this one is even more difficult lol. I tend to write a lot of happy endings but imma go with Black Cat, Golden Retriever I think, although that might end up being beaten by one of the fics thats currently residing somewhere in the depths of google docs

Do you write crossovers?

I dont think i've written a crossover. I'm not sure whether 4+2=6 (Wheels) counts or not. If it does, then yes I have. If it doesn't then no I haven't lol

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Erm, not really. People in the f1 fandom tend to be really lovely. But imma say, if you dont like then dont read or interact with the fic pls. Nobody need the extra hate in their lives

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut in Aussie Love but that is the only work so far that has explicit smut in it. I have implied smut in others. I might try writing it again at some point, but who knows. As so what kind, there really isn't a specific type i dont think

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not on ao3 as of yet (although I did have someone ask to translate Orange Chrysanthemum which I have agreed to) but back in my wattpad era (where my account really needs burning to the ground, I did have a couple of my fics translated)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! It was The Big (Or Rather Little) Matter of Spoons. And i loved every second of doing it with @jaecantwrite 🧡. Hopefully I can do a few more in the future!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

It has to be Landoscar!!!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Erm, a lot 😅. But if we're on about published fics then probably either F1 Grid Chaos or IMPROMPTU ROAD TRIP but we'll see what happens. I have plenty of other non published wips that will probably never see the light of day. ever

What are your writing strengths?

I wanna say its my dialogue. I love writing dialogue and all the descriptions that go around it!

But, I've had many people compliment me on my accurate characterisation of the characters so I guess that's one as well

What are your writing weaknesses?

Where do i start lol. I have like a mental list of things I want to improve on which is like rounding off the ends of fics and chapters, time skipping (because otherwise I will write every single part of their day down and that just gets long and tedious). And probably my descriptions of things. In the prose, I just tend to narrate exactly what the characters are doing and i just want to bring a bit more to it

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It depends. For like short phrases that are almost like universal in a way I really dont mind. But if a fic is written in English and the character is constantly talking in say Spanish with the dialogue actually being fully written in Spanish then I guess it kinda takes me out of the immersion of the fic if I have to go and translate it all, especially if there is no translation provided anywhere by the author. However, if its just the odd sentence then I dont see the problem with it. But, maybe just keep the dialogue in the same language as the fic nd note in the speech bit that the character is speaking a different language (if that makes sense)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

F1!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Probably a lot of the more rare pair Oscar ones, especially Choscar. I dont think i've written that one yet

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's one that's not yet been published (although it was tedious to finish, I do absolutely love the fic)

But published fics wise I loved writing George Russell is the Type of Guy To... and I do enjoy the fic as well. I'm not sure if its my favourite favourite but its one that I can look back on and not completely cringe at what ive written

<3

Wow, we're at the end! That was fun to do!!! Tagging @wht-am-i-doin @lescarbille @jaecantwrite @pumpkennpie @lellabellas @papaya-queen and anyone else who wants to do it who hasnt already been tagged 🧡