#cw: urine

[avagarde]

The Urinal

[realbeefman]

some of y’all clearly don't understand what it's like to avert your eyes when your friend starts changing in front of you and your heart starts pounding in your chest and you could say something, SHOULD say something, tell her to change her clothes in a different room and admit to this freakish attraction that you know she doesn't feel, ruin the friendship by coloring every moment of casual intimacy with the knowledge that you are a pervert who wants more, that you are a threat. you don’t say anything. and you look up and watch the pale expanse of her lower back from the corner of your eye as she pulls on a white blouse, and something lurches in your stomach and you laugh at the joke she just told even though you weren’t really listening to the set-up. later on you will feel sick and guilty and cry alone in a bed that feels empty, but for just a moment, you are laughing with a beautiful girl who loves you, and it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong

[goldstargloww]

are we going to talk about scar's (and maybe impulse's and skizz's and probably not but possibly grian's) bbq time stream a few days ago?

and how cursed it was? and quotable?

i have some quotes. i'm gonna put it under the cut because they're that cursed

grian: all i did was touch the beer and i just started peeing everywhere, that's not how barbecues work!

scar: i apologize for urinating on your leg, skizz

scar: grian, stop peeing on the bear

grian: scar sent us this, right, for context, he was like "guys we should play barbecue simulator", and we're like "alright", and i go to look at the reviews, and like the first ten are "we peed on burgers and then ate them" grian: you should just see the reviews, all of them are like "10/10, pee burger"

skizz: does anyone else's fire keep going out? scar: yeah you gotta keep it going! you want me to urinate on it?

scar: you can't pee on me and not expect me to pee on you, skizz. that's the rule. i don't make em skizz: i'm not sure you're aware of how arrogant i am. i pee on you, you don't pee on me, that's how it works

skizz: you know what? not only do i pee on you, i pee on you and you thank me

scar: IMPULSE! stop peeing on my condiments!

grian: ahhh, who's peeing on my eggs? oh its me im peeing, oh IM PEEING, OH, GO-

scar: come on guys, we'll pee on each other later

scar: (blowtorching a pizza) oh, look at this, look at this skizz: (starts peeing on the pizza) let me help you out there buddy, there ya go scar: (turns around) i'm tryna get a crispy pizza, not a soggy pizza, skizz, keep your urine to yourself.

skizz: i ate it, and then i started taking a piss on you, and then you killed me

grian: i'm gonna try and not pee on everyone

skizz: lemme help you out there, grian (peeing noises) grian: cheers, dude. it needed that extra flavor skizz: (laughing) grian: here, let me flip that so you can get the other side

grian: here, bear! take this chicken before skizz eats it or pees on it or both impulse: (laughing) or both skizz: (laughing) or both... impulse: at the same time skizz and impulse: (laughs harder)

[padded-daydreams]

Shout out to incontinent regressors. Its ok if you use your diaper. Its ok to let go of any embarrassment. Its ok to be tiny and not worry about the stress or embarrassment of wetting yourself just because some people see it as gross. You are not gross. It is ok to find comfort in wearing a diaper and being little and making it a part of your regression. It is ok to find ways to be comforted in things that you deal with. You are valid no matter what.

[s0viet-gamer]

miscellaneous jimmy sketches (idk what to post)

[tankbredgrunt]

HYPER-SPECIFIC LISTS || 1/? VIDEO GAMES WITH A URINATE FUNCTION

--- Indigo Prophecy (Quantic Dream, 2005) Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (High Voltage Software, 2004) Heavy Rain (Quantic Dream, 2010) Death Stranding (Kojima Productions, 2019)

[the-sleepydragon]

By sticks do you mean a pregnancy test or just something else?

"The pee stick!"

"The stick that tells me if I'm pregnant or not!"

"That thing!"

[screamingcrows]

Piss kink, but he pierces your urethrae and drinks like a Caprisun.

I-

anon.

My guy (gn)

Why would he?? There's already??? THERE'S ALREADY A HOLE YOU CAN USE??? THE URETHRA IS A TUBE YOU CAN JUST SUCK DIRECTLY FROM IT????

[trixanimations]

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

@pigeonsgrame2

Stage 1/Bonus?

Warning: Be warned that there maybe no actual urine in this video it can be mistaken as so. Please keep this in mind.

I just realized that each of these pranks are worst than the last. Like Venus this is devious, dang. Well this is the end of the ride. But I wonder who’s giving these three their “missions”?

[lotus-duckies]

the way they framed this to show the buckets are full of urine via "men pee while standing up" and i'm just sitting here like girl how did you manage to master Challenge Pissing TM

[cartoonscientist]

so I started a zazzle store where I sell shirts that are too silly for etsy, here's the first one just in time for pride month

[e-m-p-error]

[ @hellcab LIKED For A Starter ]

[ Valentino ]

"The fuck do you think you're doing, pendejo?" Valentino's hand was fisted in the canine Sinner's hair, and he yanked their head back painfully as he snarled in their face. He had the woman on her stomach in the alleyway, one of his knees bent and his heel digging into her spine painfully. The way she was bent back was definitely uncomfortable, and that was the point, "Hija de puta, thinking you can steal from me! Me!?" (Asshole; Daughter of a bitch)

A gun was pulled from seemingly nowhere and placed against the back of her head. She whined, and a sudden scent of urine hit Valentino's good antenna. Instantly his wings unfurled to avoid getting wet, and he adjusted where he stood.

"Jodidamente asqueroso. Debería acabar contigo antes de que esto empeore." Rolling his eyes, the only indication of it being how his face moved, Valentino hunkered down behind her and yanked her head up even more by her hair. Her pained cry of agony fell on deaf antennae and Valentino wrapped his lower hands around her throat. (Fucking disgusting. I should finish you off before this gets any worse.)

With a snarl, he tightened his hands until he heard a sickening crunch, feeling her windpipe collapse beneath his hands and a few bones crack. Satisfied, but only for a second, he leveled the gun at the back of her head again as he took a few steps to the side. Firing into her body five times, he finally decided that she'd had enough, the blood pooling around her and splattered over his boots and calves enough to placate him.

Bending down, he rolled her over, digging into her vest pocket and pulling from it a wad of cash and a baggie filled with white powder. "Fucking cunt," He snapped, "Cheating me out of my fucking money." This would be a foul mood he'd be in all day. Finally turning and heading for the mouth of the alleyway, he glared when he caught sight of someone else who thought they'd be smart, just staring at him.

"The fuck are you lookin' at, gilipollas?" (Douchebag)

[brieflyinfatuated]

Not to put too fine a point on it but if I experience one more inconvenience today I'm going to start breaking femurs.

[devileaterjaek]

CONTENT WARNING: POSTAL

[seriial]

keeping myself half accountable by telling tumblr i relapsed LMAO

[seraphim-soulmate]

It's not that I wish I could stop the process of aging or make people live forever it's just that I wish it didn't have to suck so bad. It sucks that we're a product of our time, forced to live under the circumstances we're born under despite how important a life feels. A lifetime can genuinely just be pain and misery due to circumstances and it's so evil that not everyone gets a fair shot at the only chance they have. It hurts to see a loved one getting older and losing abilities and not knowing what you can do and also just hoping that you are doing the best you can to make their life manageable.