#cw: mentions of ableist language

[gaymurdersalad]

David, why do you let him treat you like that?! He’s horrible!

>…

>… You— You all…

>… You all… Don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about.

>What in your deluded, goddamned minds thinks ANY of this is okay to say to me— you superficial, you fake plastic bloodsuckers— I thought you cared about me! I thought you were fucking different, I thought you fucking liked me! I thought— Stupid fucking me, right? Thinking with my fuck-rotting brain like I have the goddamn right, yeah, serves me— I thought you would be nice to me!

>Nothing fucking nice lasts, does it? Henry tosses me out like garbage, like I fuckin’ meant nothing to him— and I bet I didn’t, I bet I shoulda blown my motherfuckin’ brains out for him, fuck, maybe then he’d actually like my sorry ass— Now you! You stupid lot, with your stupid fucking glasses and your self righteousness?! Comin’ into MY house and telling me who I should fuckin’ trust, meanwhile you hide behind those shitty shades and chastise ME for being a coward! Fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Do me one favor— oh, if I may ask, given my obvious un-superiority!— and go fuck off to whatever world you came from and make whoever the hell is miserable enough to have you deal with this bullshit.

>Fuck, you all know I’m grown, right? You know I’m an adult who makes his own goddamn choices? Do you— no, of course you do! You think I’m some shit-for-brains autistic kid who can’t make a goddamn decision for himself, you think— think that Jack here is taking advantage of the slow kid, huh? You think I didn’t make this choice? You think if I actually knew he hated me, I wouldn’t fuck off and paint my brains all over the walls of whatever fucking alleyway I’d find myself in, boozin’ and bingin’, because really, what would be the fucking point of life anymore— no! No! I know what the fuck I’m doing! You think you know better than me?! You’re fucking pathetic! You are a goddamn disease on me!

>Get out— Get the FUCK out of our house, you goddamned pests, you blood-sucking leeches! Don’t you EVER show those fuckin’ mugs around here again, you hear me? Next time you ever dare LOOK at me or Jack, I will reach down into yer gullet and peel your supposed-organs out one by one, every rip and tear being slow and worth it. I’ll make you and all your shitty friends WATCH, GOD-DAMMIT!

>NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!

>…

>…

>… Leave the way you came in…

>… Askers.

[ THE GAYMURDERDAVID EVENT CONCLUDES.

DAVID IS NO LONGER OPEN FOR ASKS. ]

[slugass]

the severe normalization of ableism against mental disability as long as it isn’t calling people the r-slur or “autistic” fucks me up

even if it isn’t towards a disability i have

a tumblr user rightfully calls out ableist language yet in the same breath calls a bigot “a stu pid idi ot”, claiming them to be “less intelligent than all mentally disabled people ever”.

nevermind the fact that anyone of any level of intelligence can be bigoted.

describing their ableist characters as “psy co” for being a bad person. and then claiming not to be ableist themselves.

genuinely makes me sad, ACTUALLY FUCKING CRYING, seeing disabilites get disregarded and indirectly insulted in spaces THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO INCLUDE THEM for the sake of insulting bad people.

people need to learn from their mistakes.

please stop using disabilites as insults. there’s other ableist insults beyond the r-slur or using “autistic” as an insult. please look out for them.

[fyrerainy]

"Autistic people have no empathy", right? "Autistic people don't understand or care about other people's feelings", right? No. I was severely bullied in 2022. I felt suicidal every day. And who bullied me? Neurotypicals. Who knew exactly what they were doing to me and enjoyed it? Neurotypicals. Meanwhile, who asked if I was okay? Autistic people. Who asked if they could do anything to help? Autistic people. Who supported me? Autistic people. If your definition of "empathy" is being horrible to someone and not caring how they feel, or ignoring a person who's obviously upset? Then I'm glad I'm not empathetic. Autistic people have been kinder to me than you ever have.

[shreksstepfather]

I Go Hungry - Mother Mother

[fictionkinfessions]

I can't handle being in the fandom I'm from. I have memories that don't portray "source" and common fan interpretations. For context, one of my "sources" has "me" flirt openly with another who gets slapped the label of being "my parental figure" when he was 3 years older than me in some source information about him and "I". It's so frustrating because I drew porn and got attacked for making "incest". Of what? Two queer men in a cult and get forced to call each other brother? I wasn't raised by him. I raised myself, even in "source". Let me draw my partner and I and don't call me a freak for drawing what YOU think is incest.

- A. Skywalker Fictive who read source by writers and was shown his sourceself is flirting with someone people claim is his "brother" or "father" in grossly queerphobic ways

x

[selectivechaos]

cw: slurs ⚠️⚠️⚠️

quit using insecure as an insult.

quit using desperate as an insult.

quit using ‘needs therapy’ as an insult.

quit using psychotic as an insult.

quit using pathetic as an insult.

quit using clingy as an insult.

quit using sociopath as an insult.

quit using narcissist as an insult.

quit using dumb as an insult.

quit using slow as an insult.

quit using autistic as an insult.

quit using psychopath as an insult.

quit using insane as an insult.

“but sometimes they are these things.” an accurate label used as an insult is a mirror shard used as a knife.

you’re hurting real people. people who don’t deserve to believe they’re bad or flawed or wrong.

🌹🌹

[scoop-lookatpinpeopleneedhelp]

Tell me I’m not alone on this..

Okay. So there's a page on The Spriter's Resource that I left a comment on where I asked if anyone else thought the proportions of the characters were weird because the game and character design was overtly sexual and even the game had sex in the title. I'm not saying the game because I don't want to give it attention but with that being said here is my interpretation of what the characters looked like + the comments I received in response.

You could make the argument that they had to make the characters small due to it being easier or them still wanting to use low-res pixel art, but they could've just made the bodies taller and the head a bit bigger to compensate for the eyes. And in the game there's a boss character with much higher resolution, more detailed art. So these people were clearly capable of making the characters simple but in proportion, but they chose not to. Even if making the characters look like adults would've been too daunting, too fucking bad. If you're making a porn game, suck it up and use more pixels because making characters like these and sexualizing them is flagrantly approving of the sexualization of young people whether they realize it or not. Not to mention the guy who responded with such a horrible word to use in really any context. Even aside from the use of that word, his argument falls flat. If you photoshop a 9 year old to have thicker thighs, they will still look like a 9 year old because big boob and big thigh doesn't change the proportions of the head, the eyes and the body. Call me an uncultured snowflake but this genuinely pisses me off. This problem barely scratches the surface of the awful shit hentai artists do like disregarding female or submissive character's consent, enjoyment or dignity, fetishizing LGBTQ+ people or entire races or aging up child characters (which is a whole other can of worms) among many other things. These people get so successful too and can make lots of money and gain a huge following from making somewhat normal porn alongside at best questionable and at worst horrific shit. I have zero qualms with wanting to draw porn, but like… have some humanity.

Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking drawing characters like that is fucked up.

[octisticsopinions]

CW: R-slur, ableism

Medical Community: here is a neutral word for mentally disabled with no negative connotations

Non disabled people: I'm going to give it negative connotations

Medical Community+mentally disabled people: this word has evolved into a slur due to people giving it negative connotations, so we are no longer using it

Non disabled people: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT HAS NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS??

[green-enby]

I've done it. After a horrible Friday 13th that almost turned me superstitious (I received my very first queerphobic assault; didn't get hurt but I had a mini panic attack afterwards), I'VE BEEN DIAGNOSED AS AUTISTIC!! AAAAA :D [open mouth smiley].

I've waited for this moment for so long. I've always felt like a fraud for thinking I might be autistic, especially when I got tested a few years ago and didn't receive a diagnosis—the tests said I'd reached the threshold (hence why I decided to get a second opinion) but they didn't diagnose me because my scores weren't "high enough compared to the autistic average" *shrug*.

I'm so glad I was right, not only because knowing I'm actually autistic is immensely cathartic and explains my history of depression and anxiety and feeling like everyone else is on a different planet than me (and a million other things), but also because it would have been so humiliating to have to tell my parents they were right and I was "normal" after all—hooray for ableist parents! (/sarcasm).

I'm "level 1" autistic, which is probably why the first clinic didn't diagnose me since they had lots of level 2/3 patients.

The first clinic was quite the unpleasant experience too, because the doctor that interviewed me was kinda transphobic and refused to use my pronouns cause they were "not grammatically correct" (only neutral pronoun in my language is a neopronoun, so when she said that was too hard I asked her to at least switch between masc and fem and she said that was a selfish request??).

But yeah… If anyone wants to know more about the diagnostic process because they want to get tested, hit me up. Obviously every clinic is different, and I've only been to two, but if it can ease your nerves I can give you a general idea from what little I know :) [smiley].

Oh and also, I've already interacted a lot with the autistic community both here and irl, but I was wondering: are there any cool things specific to the autistic community that a new entry like me should know of? Such as the autism creature? Any interesting YouTube channels, pieces of media, memes, stuff like that? Thanks for reading my ramblings! ^^ [happy eyes emoticon].

[murielsbottombitch]

What do you think of this..... "do not befriend depressed people" "do not befriend anxious people"

https://www.tumblr.com/lesb0/751368839799930880/do-not-befriend-insecure-people-do-not-befriend?source=share

(no one go to this persons account to harrass them, I will block you instantly. you do not speak for me.)

this person states on their blog that this is their diary and so is just a personal note to themselves but they posted it online publicly with no statement within the post that this isn't advice for other people, so I will respond to it as it is. I have no ill will towards this person. I will not swear at or insult their person. please keep things civil. this is not intended to attack this person but only criticize their words.

keep in mind when reading that I'm responding to several recent posts of lesbo, not just the one sent

content warning for ableist language, abuse and manipulation mentioned (no detail)

long post ahead

I get what the point is. if someone is emotionally abusive or manipulative, you are not obligated to stick by them regardless of if it's from personal issues or not. you are not ever obligated to put up with anyone's behavior. you shouldn't be expected to stay friends with people who gossip, insult you, stalks you, refuses to take accountability or who make you uncomfortable, mentally ill or not.

that being said, insecurity, anxiety, depression and delusions are not inherently harmful and implying that it is is gross. they do not dictate your actions and it is ableist to assume they do. that's the biggest issue with their posts, they blame someone's mental illness/state rather than their behavior. if someone is constantly bringing the mood down, you ask them to stop and they ignore you, the problem isn't that they're depressed, the problem is that they ignored your feelings. if someone is talking shit about you, the problem isn't that they're insecure, the problem is that they talk shit. if someone is disrespectful, the problem isn't that they're jealous, the problem is that they're disrespectful. it's not a difficult concept but it's one many people do not understand.

the fact this person doesn't want to have close relationships with mentally ill people isn't a problem in my mind because they shouldn't. not just for their sake but for the sake of mentally ill people who need a more deft hand to take care of them. this post is focused more on how someone's mental illness effects op rather than the mentally ill person, that is not a healthy relationship on either side. this person doesn't have the mental fortitude to take on others burdens and they seem fine with that. I'd rather op avoid hurting someone who's already hurting by getting upset with them for hurting in a way that hurts op, you know? it saves everyone a little time.

and op, if you're reading this. I think you should talk to a therapist about your habit of mirroring. mirroring to that degree is not an inherent trait of young women, it's a sign of having distorted or frail self image. I used to be friends with people who were really judgemental so I had the habit of mirroring them to feel like I was good enough to be in their presence. I would demasculinate myself, hide things I enjoy from them and pretend to like what they liked because it meant not being criticized. that is not something someone in a healthy state of mind does. I only stopped mirroring to that degree after separating myself from them and everyone else, taking care of myself to learn who I truely was without outside influence. if you're mirroring bad behavior, maybe self reflect as to why that is. are you looking for validation? is it to feel safe? to feel like you're superior? really listen to yourself and what you want. was it really the fault of a mentally ill person that you mirrored their mental illness or was it yours? why did this happen and how could you actually prevent it from happening again? if this is a habit of yours that has happened several times, you may be the common denominator. I'm being completely genuine, I'm not trying to insult you. I really hope you get better and are able to have more stable relationships. please do talk to mental health professionals, you don't sound like you're in a great place mentally from what I can tell.

excuse me if that last bit was really armchair psychologist. I just feel like there's hurt behind these posts, not malice, even if the posts are harmful in the long run.

[hexagonopus]

CW: discussion of slurs, uncensored use of the r slur and the f slur

i wanted to talk about the way people use the R slur and are like, "no uwu its ok im reclaiming it"

like, just as a disclaimer (i consider this basically unrelated to my actual point):

but like, if someone tells me they arent comfortable with me using the r slur when around them, obviously im gonna not use it around them.

thats not really related to the topic at hand imo, though. id do the same thing with words like queer which have been unambiguously reclaimed but do still make some people feel targeted or upset.

if someone asked me not to talk about dogs when around them because their dog passed away id think about it the same way, and its not super about the semiotics of the word dog or smth

but we can observe that the word "retarded" used to describe neurodivergent people comes from a medical field that was, at its base, hostile to a vulnerable minority population. the inception of the word was not neutral, it was aggressive. it was also imposed from above onto that same minority group, and used to discriminate them out from the in group.

thats the historical basis of the word being a slur. as the medical field has advanced over time, we've shed that term in an academic context, because our treatment of and understanding of neurodivergent people has advanced to a point where "mentally slow or halted in mental progression" is not an accurate description of how the medical field understands neurodivergent people as a group.

ill admit, we can also observe that terms like "stupid, lame, moronic, imbecile, idiot", etc also have similar roots and an argument can be made that they also used to be slurs, even if they aren't used in that way anymore. so like theres a path that i think a lot of people want to take the word retarded down, and a lot of people also relate to having used it in that sense basically their whole life. i dont super want to discount that

but

so many people who use the r slur posture so much about "oh im reclaiming it", and i guess i find that pretty absurd.

like. "queer" is reclaimed bc we use queer as a neutral, descriptive word. the n word is reclaimed as a display of comradery. sometimes people will call themselves like the f slur or the d slur to say just, "im so gay" in a positive way. these are words who have a tangibly different use than they had as slurs, they are not being used to slur people.

but ive never actually seen someone use the r slur that way? its always being used derogatorily. it is fundamentally still being used as a slur. and we agree that slurs are bad. so why doesnt that compute?

you cant just continue to call things the r slur as an insult to say its stupid as hell and consider that reclamation bc its like, identical to how the slur has been used for decades

like if i say "im such a fag" im not rly saying "im degenerate and not masculine" im saying like. god i like boys and im gay and im gay. yknow??

this isnt like the word retard. ive LITERALLY never in my entire life seen someone use the word retard to mean smth other than an insult. if someone used "retard" in a like self affectionate sense to evoke comradery w/ other neurodivergent people. thats groovy imo that would be a case of trying to "reclaim" it.

my beef is with people who use the word "retard" in a way indistinguishable from how people have use it for decades, just to say "thats stupid, thats low, i dont like that" and then are like "no u dont get it; im neurodivergent so its reclaimation"

finally, a note addressed to the people who want to use the r slur as a word for "stupid" not directed at neurodivergent people:

if someone is using the r slur they should be honest about why they're saying it. and that is, always:

because its an insult, they're trying to insult something by calling it stupid.

they're trying to neutrally describe a neurodivergent people bc they think its still the 1960s

they're specifically trying to insult neurodivergent people

and like, HOPEFULLY we can agree that 3 is just bad.

2 is also bad, if arguably well intentioned. its smth to be corrected, and thats what things like Rosa's Law was passed for.

and ig in that context, i dont personally see the appeal of using it in the case of 1.

why would u want to share that kind of linguistic company w/ 2 and 3, yknow???

[slugass]

yes mr evaluator, you screaming “PSYCH O!!!” in your title for your video about serial killers is completely necessary. /sarcasm

like you couldn’t just fucking say “serial killer” or some shit for your title

you don’t need to stigmatize and blame mental illnesses that have been demonized FOREVER for a catchy title (especially in the most obnoxious unoriginal fucking way)

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Severe fucking content warning

Content warning for literal fucking torture and abuse. everything else should be tagged. If I miss any content warnings please for the love of all that is holy tell me so I can fix it.

Psychological torture. Those are the words bouncing around my head this morning.

Did you know that sleep deprivation and social isolation are often considered to be tied for the worst tortures known to humankind?

Let me give you some more context. When I left mormonism, I lost everything in regards to my social safety net. Mormonism and my mormon friends and family were all I had.

It's by design, too; how is someone supposed to leave if their only safety net disappears when they do? Why would they even consider leaving if that safety net holds them perfectly because they can conform?

But when you can't conform, you fall through the cracks. As I did.

I didn't just lose everything, though. I didn't stop there. I also gained a neighborhood full of watchdogs who I was sure would herd me back to the cult at the first opportunity.

Going outside on foot was no longer an option - if any of my many mormon neighbors saw me, they would have Questions. If I gave any worrying answers, there was bound to be Visits. I wasn't strong enough to handle that.

Besides, I lived in suburban hell. Fifteen minutes just to get out of the neighborhood on foot, another fifteen to get to the nearest gas station. My depressed, broke self wasn't about to spend an hour walking for a round trip to the fucking gas station when I could barely handle doing my own laundry.

So I was trapped inside the house unless my parents or someone else with a car deigned to bring me with them on a trip. But it was fine at first, because I had an internet connection and multiple online friends; plus, I'd managed to forge one irl friendship with someone between deconverting and graduating high school.

My parents weren't happy about this for some reason (I have a working theory as to why and I'll get to it later). Their justification was that it was just generally bad for me to be spending as much time online as I was.

Of course, I wasn't doing great mentally, but they refused to believe that they could be at fault for that with their "mild" transphobia. Surely refusing to accept my newfangled, sinful identity on the basis of a false moral high ground couldn't possibly be the most significant source of my suffering; surely deadnaming and misgendering me couldn't be doing that much damage.

Surely refusing to assist the transitioning process in any way shape or form couldn't be a good enough reason for suicidal ideation. Surely I was just an undermedicated psycho for considering lighting myself on fire just to get them to understand my pain enough to... help me with the process of buying a binder with my own money.

Surely I just needed to get my act together and get over myself.

So, ever since that psych ward visit that treated me better than they did, they decided that I could only have internet access if I did enough of my chores around the house.

Doesn't sound too unreasonable until you remember that 99% of my friends were online. I tried telling them this, and their response was to encourage me to get back in touch with my old ward member friends. You know, from the cult I had just escaped. That, granted, my parents were still very much a part of.

(Remember that theory I was telling you about? That little tidbit is an important piece of evidence.)

So I was cut off from the world with significant regularity, having nothing but a flip phone to contact the one supportive friend whose phone number I had. That friend kept me alive and sane enough to stay that way for nearly a year as this hell dragged on.

At some point, my brother and his girlfriend moved back in with us. I guess they weren't a fan of all the sinning I was doing, because my parents had multiple talks with me about how I needed to give them more space (aka stop existing in the same room as them).

So, eventually, I was all but confined to my bedroom, since I could never sit them down to have a conversation about what times I was allowed to be downstairs and what times they would be occupying that space.

This all built up to the breaking point. I had just developed a new medical condition that left me basically bedbound in pain. I was forced out of bed anyways, because nobody was going to take care of me (probably due to the nature of the condition being considered 'sinful'). I did what I could as I could, as I always have.

There had been a misunderstanding about chores. My brother and his girlfriend were in charge of one bathroom, i was in charge of the other. Except I thought I was in charge of the wrong one. So while the downstairs bathroom stayed clean (despite me not doing much to maintain it), the upstairs bathroom became absolutely filthy.

It all came to a head when my brother yelled at me to take care of my responsibility. I finally figured out what had happened and explained to him why I hadn't been doing it, as well as why I wasn't about to start until I could actually, you know, stay standing for any significant amount of time. He yelled at me more and threatened to tell our mom.

I told him to go ahead, as any rational person would take one look at the situation and agree that I needed to rest. My only mistake was assuming that my mom retained any rationality for me.

So she called me and attempted to chew me out. mind you, i was ill and in debilitating pain already, so I put my foot down and asked her to save it for later. But I knew what was coming when she said we were going to "have a conversation" when she got home. She was going to take away my flip phone to force me to do as I was told.

My flip phone, 99% of the use for which was to call my one and only friend that i could access. My one and only friend who was the sole support in my life. The only person, the only thing keeping me sane.

That was going to be it for me. If she did that (and she'd done it before, so there was precedent), I was going to fucking kill myself.

So I locked her out of my room that night and tried to get a good night's rest in preparation for what would have to happen in order for me to survive.

At about 4 in the morning the next day, I packed up everything that i could carry and i walked out the door.

Every single thing I have been through since that day has been worth it to get out of that hell. I am still homeless over a year later and the only thing I wish I did different was to leave sooner and prepare better. Maybe get a nice duffel bag and do my laundry first instead of hauling all my dirty clothes in trash bags. I could've saved myself a lot of trouble by getting my documents together beforehand.

anyways. Befoer I came out as trans and not a mormon, my mother seemed fully supportive - or at least, like she was supporting me as much as she was capable of doing.

Afterwards? She never looked at me the same way again.

And so I have to wonder how two changes to my identity and lifestyle could wrench her away from kindness like that. How they could possibly cause such a significant change in how she treated me.

Here's the working theory.

Mormons prey on vulnerable people. Their missionaries are literally told to seek out the meek and weary and poor to "give them rest." This is also how they bring people back - they find out which inactive members are struggling without their safety net (which they often remove for the sin of inactivity/deconversion/etc) and those are the ones that they grasp at to try and bring back. Those are the ones that they reach out to, that they check in on.

So, how better to take advantage of someone's vulnerability than to make them vulnerable yourself? How better to make them vulnerable than to take away all of their safety nets? How better to tear them from their sin than to tear their sinful friends from them?

How better to break an apostate than to back them into a corner and bring in the walls? How better to turn someone towards your god than to give them no other choice except to be crushed?

And if they'd rather die than return to Jesus, well, then, at least you're sending them straight to the afterlife. Then they'll HAVE to see the truth. Then they'll HAVE to repent.

After all, all my mother needs to do to keep our family together forever is to keep me righteous. She already gave me a body. What loss is the rest of my life compared to the rest of eternity?

Better to die young than to live in sin. Better to be forced to come to Jesus than to choose to live free of him.

She wasn't a bumbling fool incapable of listening to me when I told her she was hurting me. She knew exactly what she was doing.

She abused me, TORTURED me, entirely on purpose. Entirely for the purpose of bringing me back to her god.

I have been tortured. I have experienced psychological torture. I probably have fucking brain damage from said psychological torture.

https://solitarywatch.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/SW-Fact-Sheet-5-Neurological-Effects-v230613.pdf

So, all that said, is it any wonder that I thought the streets would be better? Is it any wonder that I never want to see her again unless it's to use her grave as a gender neutral bathroom?

She nearly killed me. I think that was an acceptable outcome to her, too.

Certainly, the last thing she expected was for me to put my back to one wall and my feet to another and clamber out of that trap she made. Should've put a roof on it, I guess.

Anyways. If it seems like I've been less online/chipper than usual, it's because I've spent the past week coming to terms with this shit.

I love you all so, so much. Thanks for being there for me. Here's to staying alive; to escaping the trap; to finding our own families and leaving our abusers behind in the dust.

Here's to all of you. Y'all were worth the trouble of being homeless, easily.

[im-just-a-br0adway-baby]

Hey Pepa have you ever been called the “r word” because of your Autism? If so how did you manage to deal with that?

All the time. Bruno and I were always called the r-word in school, and even Julieta was subject to a lot of bullying because a lot of kids knew her as "the girl with the r-word brother and sister." It was extremely difficult for us to deal with, but especially me because of how often my weather would fluctuate if I was called that. When we got older, we got so desensitized to it that it didn't really affect us anymore. Also, it happened much less when we became adults because everyone knows they'll get zapped they call Bruno or me that.

[miitopiaoutofcontext]

[incorrectjane-andthedragon]

Magnus: Getting away with child neglect is really easy when you're surrounded by idiots.