Tumgik
#cuz money mainly
afternoonteawithme · 2 years
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firstfullmoon · 7 months
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does anyone have an ereader and read lots of poetry and/or pdfs on it and if so which ereader would you recommend
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galariangengar · 6 months
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I feel like I’ll never be able to have any free time and get back into art/creating… I’m always so busy doing as much as possible to get into a nursing program somewhere. And I know nursing school is gonna be A LOT too and starting a nursing career as well, but I’ve always had this interest and love for art and have always had this urge and want to get back into creating. But I’m either always busy with school/adult shit or utterly fucking exhausted and doing horribly mentally… I really hope I can get to that point where I can get back into art and have it be part of my life again…
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lukasadss · 9 months
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One of the things I've gotten into this past year is thrifting for dolls on second hand apps and honestly it's been doing wonders for inner child me who couldn't get the cool ones he'd see at the store
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toomanysubcultures · 1 year
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FUCK people who put knowledge behind a paywall fr
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smolsammichowo · 2 years
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dont mind me just still word vomiting over the new pokemon game I dont even have yet
God I dont even have the game yet , but HERE I AM with Brainrot over the characters and story and lore ...
Like the other day Im looking up compilations of the bugs and glitches and people having fun with friends in the co-op with the glitches and stuff in the game to becoming attached to one of the main characters of the game because of his design and backstory and the whole story in general has a story that actually makes you feel that hurt yet warm feeling in you heart over moments like oh mY G O D I LOVE EVERYONE OF THE MAIN 3 CHARACTERS and then a lot of the pokemon designs are so cute , the fact two of them are joke evolutions yet ones that I just love so much but then it hurts knowing that Gamefreak devs were rushed to make this game and if there were no bugs this game more than likely wouldve been scored higher by online critics bUT WHATEVER Why am I ever caring about online critics when I never did anyhow in the past , just hate how artists and devs have been treated in the past few years but GOD its crazy how awesome and beautiful this story is even for how rushed the game was sadly but kfmfvbnjhtngrefvgbghtr
AND LIKE I SAID
I DONT HAVE THE FUCKING GAME YET 
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ethernitty · 2 years
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fuckin dysphoria and birthdays
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I should really post my AF attacks here but I'm too lazy
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kethabali · 5 months
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i continue to be surprised how our body, minds, and universe align perfectly sometimes and we get just what we needed even if we don't realize we needed it
#someone asked me for money and i didnt have cash and they asked if they can have my food so i just took them to the store and bought them#something to eat and talked a bit which was very needed bc i been in a downer the last 2 days#freezing up from my workload of house work and school work#so i just not been doing either of it really#only the basics of eating and cleaning myself (somewhat) but i went out today to get a charger for my weed pen or to buy another pen#and thats when i saw her so that was good#first iw as like maybe god is real or something cuz how that keep aligning like that but then i realized i made the choice to talk to her#and buy her food.. it was literally me who made it happen not gOd#so yea i still am not re believing in god at least not the institutional organized religion god#cuz that guy is pure evil he is the real devil im telling you#but i do believe our souls know what we need and try to make it happen regardless of our circumstances#anyways.. gonna watch a really gorey movie now instead of reading for school#i do want to read but at the same time i do not want to read#i want to read not today but i Have to read today and tomorrow bc its due on tuesday#and i wanna go to a protest tomorrow so mainly i have today and half of tomorrow and a bit of tuesday#which is not enough for my adhd ass to do this how i want so it will probably be rushed#unless i take somehthing else out of the schedule but i really wanna go to the protest GRR i hate capitalism#just let me do things how i wanna do it im pissed off again#why i gotta do things on other peoples schedule all the goddamn time this is my least favorite thing about capitalism#never being able to do things when i wanna do them cuz there are consequences for if i ignore the other things#i just sometimes wanna be like fuck it let me just take the consequence and do what i want but that never went well in high school#i guess i can read 2 pages or something#or die. just kidding.. haha.. im trying not to answer die or death anytime i am inconvenienced#🧃
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year
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in a very strange way which confounds all logic and human emotion, i do enjoy substitute teaching
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loveemagicpeace · 1 month
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🦁Star Notes🦁
U can see the death when u look at the Capricorn rising. They have this death look. The devil look. What I also find fascinating about them is how much respect they have for themselves. They will never, ever allow you to disrespect them. And they know how to mark their border. The power that they have when they are silent is amazing.
I always know when someone is virgo rising cuz they have that angry look. They often look as if they are angry, but in reality they are not at all. In fact, they often worry about how they look in front of others. But they will always give their opinion or give advice if you ask them for it.
I feel like sagittarius rising are the one when they will always start a conversation or a debate when they meet someone. They also tend to look for intelligent people and will be very attracted to someone who has good thinking and communication skills. They really appreciate these things on a person. And they really like to joke, so you can laugh a lot with them.
The difference between Taurus & Libra. Libra rising like nice clothes but more elegant clothes, more expressed beauty and in a way they like simpler things. Taurus rising sometimes likes that it is more extra, especially if they have fire placements in their chart and they like jewelry, trainers. Taurus can sometimes go overboard with jewelry and really wear a lot of it.
The most transformative house you can have is the 8th house. Whenever you have transiting planets in the 8th house, the energy of that house is visible. You feel as if you are going through an emotional transformation and perceive things around you very deeply but at the same time beautiful, because you know that something beautiful always comes from something deep. The 8th house shows the awareness of what is really important to us deep down, and we begin to perceive relationships differently than seeing which relationship we really feel and which one we don't. What deep down we really need and brings us satisfaction. How others can meet our needs. How far we will go for others. It shows sacrifices for others and how others sacrifice for us. This house also shows everything we can gain from others and what we share with others. Usually during this time we share a deep pain with others and go through a difficult time with a person (or there is someone who helps us in need or we help them). We share a soul with another person.
I have seen many couples who are Cancer & Gemini. And I notice that many times the relationship works in the long run. They really hit it off together and find a lot in common. Both of them are somehow inclined to look for family and people with whom they can connect and create a home. I would say that someone with placements in the 3rd house is not so unstable (but the person just needs a lot of communication and understanding). They are mainly looking for someone with whom they can talk a lot.
Capricorn rising are very sincere people and I think they are one of the people who will never think of themselves as something more than others. They hold their value and respect and will not give everyone their energy because they have the mindset that not everyone is worth their energy. But they will never consider themselves to be something more (they are actually very simple people).
A lot of people who have taurus sun or 2nd house sun, venus are very materialistic. Maybe it won't be seen on the surface, but many times there are people who will spend a lot on money (especially because the sun represents the ego and it is in a way what guides you, where you are the most egocentric and stubborn, at the same time where you will work the most selfish).
9th house represents long journeys. Traveling across the sea. The sign and planets you have here represent how you look at the world and what places you like to travel to (also a sample of trips, what excites you the most). For ex.: pluto in 9th house - you like to travel to places that are dark, raw and you have a lot to see from other cultures as well. You like places where you can explore myths and legends. Places where the truth is presented to the wolf (for example, kurti parts of the city, poverty, etc.) you like to learn through history. Sun in 9th house- you will like to travel to places that inspire you (especially sunny places, places that are very stimulating). Places where you can find your joy, you can return many times to the places you used to go as a child. Places that bring you sunshine. Venus in 9th house- you like to travel to places that are lovely, rich. You also like to travel to trendy places.
Libra rising people always have some enemies who talk behind their backs, they can often attract people who wish them ill or are jealous of them. I have noticed many times that it can also be their relatives or brothers and sisters who do not allow them certain things. Often the relationship with them is not so good either. They have Pisces in their sixth house, which means they are very self-sacrificing when it comes to work and everyday things and routine.But mostly at work, so many people can use them when it comes to work or they also have hidden enemies at work. In their 12th house is virgo which also means that people never really know what kind of work they do, or people are jealous of the work they have.
People with earth mercury are usually very pessimistic. Their thoughts are often too realistic, and they often do not believe in things they cannot see or touch. Mercury is how you perceive things and how you think. People with fiery mercury are optimistic, positive and quick-thinking (which means they will quickly change their thinking or decide on something quickly. People with watery mercury think from an emotional point of view and will always perceive things and people emotionally. They are also the best at manifesting and They dream a lot and usually everything comes true.
Sometimes having Neptune in the 1st house is like being constantly in a meditate state. Things are sometimes not real to you and at the same time Neptune is part of your personality here and you can be very delusional and almost always in your own world. You are 80% in your world and 20% in reality. Even as a child, you can create your own world in which you live and it seems to you that you are living in two different worlds.
Fire venus/mars always want to have everything clarified in relationships. They will never leave without saying their last word.
Saturn in the fourth tends to restrict the flow of fourth-house energy so that one feels that nurture is limited or curtailed. Uranus signifies that the flow is erratic, unpredictable, or occurs in unusual ways. Neptune often gives the feeling that the nurturing flow is weak, without vitality, or occurs on an abstract, nonphysical level. Pluto in the fourth does not particularly restrict the flow of energy; in fact it may increase it to the point where one becomes trapped or bound by its effects, resulting in the persistence of infantile issues or behavior into adult life.
A large number of planets in the seventh indicates someone who feels incomplete alone and strives to fill the void with close partnerships or intimate confrontations. Such people function better in interaction with another. They may even encourage others to become dependent on them, thereby maintaining the relationship they need. The seventh is not really a Venusian house, contrary to what is implied by those who equate the seventh, Libra, and Venus. Venus does refer to relationships, but only ones that are loving and warm. The seventh house has no such inherent connection with love. Most planets in the seventh merely signify the kinds of energies experienced through relationships.
Saturn in the eighth resists transformations, which is why the older astrologers associated this placement with a difficult death. It is not so much a sign of a difficult death as of resistence to the idea of any kind of change.
Venus in Cancer- venus is how u love and they way you love. For example, if you are a man you may not propose marriage until you have some reliable means of earning a living; if you are a woman you make sure you won't end up sharing your lover's poverty or struggling to support him.but also how u want to be loved. As a Venus-in-Cancer person you are romantic and sensitive. Being loved is more important to you than almost anything else.
Venus in Taurus- you are affectionate and romantic, but you don't give your love away too quickly. To you, love does not exist without sex. You are very demonstrative and generous toward a lover, sometimes too much so.
Venus in Scorpio-being in love is an all-consuming experience for you. There is a profound intensity to your emotions. Your sex life is passionate and demonstrative. However, you also put love on a spiritual plane. Your deep need is to possess a lover wholly, to make your partner surrender to you body and soul.
Venus in Sagittarius-You like to experience the excitement of love in the same way you search for diversion in the rest of your life. You want passion and this is very important for you when it comes to love. Venus-Sagittarians are high-spirited, outgoing, and highly imaginative. You tend to attract powerful and influential friends. Luck in creative affairs surrounds projects undertaken in foreign countries or far from home.
Venus in Capricorn- are as careful and cautious about love as about anything else. Sometimes even too much. They can also be hard to open up. When in love, you are loyal, faithful, and dependable. There is a dichotomy between your emotional life and your sexuality: You have earthy passions but keep them separate from your mental attitude. Venus in this position indicates a personality that is jealous, possessive, and fearful of rejection.
-Rebekah✨🌻🦁
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edgarallenrich28 · 2 months
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Astrology Observations pt. 3 🤹
- Leo moon/venus natives will often have a fascination with celebrities. They love the idea of being famous or coming from a prominent family so they admire people who have that.
(Side observation ♌️ : Michael Jackson had both Mercury and Venus in Leo, and was the most successful/famous musician of all time. His style was very “royal” and he loved to dress in rhinestone and gold suits. They called him the “King” of Pop which was very fitting for him astrologically)
- Saturn in Scorpio people may find concepts like death and religion extremely uncomfortable. Their relationships are mainly shallow and superficial because they fear getting deep with someone, especially themselves.
- Jupiter in Taurus loves to spend money on food & could manifest as them being a super foodie.
- People with Saturn in the 11th house (especially when harshly aspected) will feel very rejected by their peers, causing them to just avoid engagement all together. They may have negative experiences with aunts, uncles, cousins, older siblings, and step-relatives.
- Venus trine Pluto is a good aspect/transit for someone who wants to make a drastic change to their appearance (such as plastic surgery). Lip fillers, hair dying, brow tattoos, things of this nature could look totally awful on some people, but will flatter a Venus in Pluto very nicely.
- Gemini risings will argue any point even if they don’t personally agree with it, just because they can see the validity in everything. This makes them very polarizing and unable to fit in with one group.
- Women with Scorpio moons are often seen as suspicious, even if they’re well meaning. If moon is poorly aspected, they may have bad interactions with other women. Beyoncé for example has moon in Scorpio, and everyone speculates if she is a witch or in the Illuminati.
- Lilith square/opposition MC, if you have this then the women at your workplace just don’t like you. It’s nothing you did, they’re just jealous. They talk bad either behind your back or to your face, and they are jealous of you. If you work with men, they might say you got the job cuz you slept with the boss or because of your looks/femininity
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jweekgoji · 1 month
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Yandere!Five/Reader (platonic/headcanons)
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the story contains: spoilers for season 4 (+ some changes in plot), yandere!five(-s), strictly platonic, five here is in his 20s (physically) and in his late 60s (mentally), overprotective old man five, soft yan!Five, OOC cuz it's yanderes 🤷
I really like to imagine Five being overprotective over someone young and still full of joy. You can be either a kid of one of his siblings, or just a random child he found during his time in The Commission. It wouldn't be that far away from reality, The Handler took little Lila and trained her to do the dirty job, no one would be surprised if that creepy woman ends up kidnapping another child born on October 1st for herself.
Either way, Five is a good familial figure. We all saw how he acts towards little Grace, making small cheering comments from time to time to his niece when she is enjoying her birthday party. I expect him to be much softer if it's someone who is always close to him and constantly tags along with Five. Let's say, he knows you enough to let you go with him at the end of Season 3, since all of his siblings left, he basically has no other choice but to be the only one who has to protect you.
At first, he might get a little irritated because of it. It's not because he finds you annoying or hates being around kids. The problem is, he is not a social person himself. He never had a proper childhood because he spent 45 years stuck in the apocalypse. Then his time in The Commission, stuck with people either invading his personal space, or always staring at him due to him being him. The man got no time for a good rest. He also got no experience in how he should take care of a kid.
Despite a good bag of problems on his back, like the fact that he is still considered a child himself because of his appearance, no job, no money, no place to stay, he somehow gets everything you need. It would probably cost him a lot of pride to sacrifice, people constantly saying «Aww, are you looking after your little sibling at such age? Where are your parents?» makes him want to say something snarky, but he would bite his tongue, since he doesn't want people to ask more questions. He is used to doing everything on his own, dealing with every trouble by no one but himself because it's how he got things done for ages. Not so surprising, Five is pretty good at it.
When he gets his job as a CIA agent, he does not get so much time to be with you, he's more busy even though he is «the one of the professional young agents», trying to investigate more and more. But I believe that he would absolutely think about you during his work, he would go nonchalantly in his mind «Should I buy them the cereal with that dumb colourful toy inside? No, that stuff has too much sugar for someone their age—», which is pretty ironic since Five has a little sweet tooth himself, knowing his famous toasts with peanut butter and marshmallows. He doesn't give you a chance to eat that stuff too much anyways, because he believes « You'll get to eat those when you grow older», while you probably pout and tug on his clothes, trying to make him share with you this tasty sweet thing with tons of deadly sugar! He will give up after a good 15 minutes of you jumping around, being noisy and whiney, so he would roll his eyes and give you like less than 1/3 of the toast, saying 'here is your half, happy now?🙄'. At least he managed to keep you quiet for some time, while he can focus on some little time of his rest.
Five wants you to be independent just like him. Mainly because he doesn't want to think about potential scenarios where you are without him, all defenseless and have no idea what to do. He will teach you everything, how to protect yourself, how to use the oven, who you should call immediately if something happens (he will probably write a phone number with a marker on your wrist, since kids tend to be forgetful and easily distracted and he does NOT take such a risk).
But Five would never push or press on you, he doesn't want to make another child assassin with childhood trauma, think of it as a grandfather taking you to the lake to teach you how to fish. He is constantly near your side, guiding gently but firmly, to you it's mostly about having fun but also learning new things. Five will praise you, give you some advice and will pet your head if you do something right. I do believe he is overprotective, that he doesn't want to even let you near anything dangerous, but he's also paranoid that if another apocalypse comes back, you should be able to survive.
When Five gets his powers back and reunites with his siblings, you will always be with him. Of course I can imagine him having a nanny to call so you would be away from all his family stuff and there is someone whom he can trust enough, but...he might trust himself more than anyone else (but also it's more interesting for the story than you being somewhere away from all the fun lol). When weird things start to happen, Five is looking for anyone even slightly suspicious. Why is this Elf Guy looking at him? Is that guy looking at YOU ? Stop looking at his kid!
Thankfully for him, you weren't around when Lila and Five stuck in that subway. But instead of spending years here, giving up on the idea of coming back home, that would never happen. Because come on, it's Five. He would never give up on coming back to his family and you, someone he also considers as a part of his family. Maybe they're not ideal, they might hate each other, sometimes even annoy him, but he would never allow himself at least a single minute of proper rest since he believes that his only priority is to come back to people he cares about.
The moment he finds the notes on how to come back, he will do it in an instant. When he sees his family safe - he is happy, even though he would hide his inner feelings. You're a little confused when he just hugs you tightly to his chest all of the sudden, sighing in relief the moment he realizes you're with him. Still the same little you, not a single change in your appearance. « Something happened?» you ask softly, carefully placing your arms around him. for some reason, it feels weird. he was never a person who could hug you just because he feels like it. the only time he might give you that it's only if you initiate it, needing comfort because you were afraid of storm or just woke up from the nightmare. « No, no, just stay like that for a little bit,» Five whispers, trying to calm his racing heart. he's thankful that this body at least can take all the stress he constantly experiences in his life. you are probably surprised and confused but he doesn't care about it now. he just came back to you after years of being apart. at least for him it was, for you — a few hours. Despite how unusual it makes you feel, you don't question it, you will give him all the comfort he deserves after whatever he went through.
A good happy ending we deserve would probably be Five (accidentally) taking you to this buffet full of his other versions. You're probably so shy and awkward to see all of them, so you stick closer to him, holding his hand. Five is a little more protective too, he doesn't trust his other selves as we know. I can imagine a little you being so scared to even make a single move, because the moment you look away, you might get lost! Is that your Five? Or is it the one who's near the other table? Why is that Five drunk? When did he find the apron?? But all of them are very nice to you. Five who works as a waiter would gladly help you to find your guardian and maybe he'll spoil you with food they serve here— Your Five is definitely not happy with how much attention you gain from.. other versions of him, but he knows that they all care the same of you.
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ivesambrose · 11 months
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ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱꜱɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛꜱ
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1. 2. 3.
╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝°❈°╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝
If you feel lost, aimless, overwhelmed or unsure in regards to yourself this has found it's way to you at the right time.
Personal Readings
Masterpost
Thank you for the tip! 🌹
Picture 1
A lot of you are burnt by your own ambitions and a need to prove something. You quietly wonder if you're even passionate about anything anymore or you are but do not what to do, where to start so you end up spacing out and procrastinating. Likely you were made to believe that if what gets you excited and happy doesn't automatically put you on the map and bring you money in traditional ways then it's practically useless.
You have in a way put yourself down consistently due to these external projections.
Of what I'm picking up on some of you are passionate about the following :
- Dancing
- Fitness
- Makeup
- Music
- The occult
- crafting something intricate such as designing jewellery or curating them
- A select few might be into taxidermy, herbology and even archeology
- A combination of the above, some of you have your own allure and might want to get into modelling, styling, dancing and design. You want to express yourself freely including your sensual as well as spiritual and esoteric side.
You want to be known but you want to stand out, with your accumulated power you want to guide others too, make them feel less alone and more understood and yet you want to be an enigma and mystery. You do have a strong potential to be a muse to many.
Your hidden talents:
- Something that is coming through significantly that it is something from your past/childhood/early teens that you had to sacrifice/were made to sacrifice even if you cared for it deeply and wanted to nurture it. It makes you bitter to this day because you were naturally good at it.
- Some of you should definitely consider working for animals especially birds. You have a gift to heal and develop empathy with them.
- Some of you can end up being excellent bakers and decorators.
A lot you can find success in the entertainment industry, media, running your own business and being your own boss, you have excellent leadership skills and determination it's just that you haven't gotten the chance to explore that side of yourself yet.
The advice here is to only look back at the past to pick up what you had left and walk ahead. Become your friend and ask your own subconscious to show the way, trust me you will be shown when you least expect it.
Picture 2
You simply love to learn and acquire knowledge. You could have specific subject(s) you're drawn to or you don't even like limiting yourself to that. You'd rather be an eternal student. I wouldn't be surprised if you were drawn to picture 1 or 3 as well. You have a thrist that sometimes almost feels insatiable.
You are rather intellectual and often give very sound advice. Mainly cuz you are highly self aware and very intuitive.
Regardless of anything else, you seek inspiration and adventure above all. You do tend to get bored with just one thing easily.
Of what I'm picking up on, some of you are passionate about the following:
- Learning, experimenting, teaching and innovating. Again this could be any topic or multiple. Could be something as literature and academics or physics or could even be cooking or carving wood. You could even be here educating people about Gothic architecture or the human anatomy. Or all of this. You're not meant to confine yourself.
- A lot of you seek travel and adventure. Even be passionate about extreme sports.
- Languages and culture.
- Some of you want to try and do everything, experience different things and don't want to niche yourself down. Your passion can simply be experiencing your life to the fullest so you have wisdom to give and stories to narrate and memories to look back on and trust me, that is more than enough.
Which quickly brings me to your hidden talents because you're supressing quite a few:
- Some of you can be excellent astrologers or even astronomers.
- A lot of you can read into symbolisms real. You can be a gifted psychic too if you aren't aware already.
- You can be really good at sports like archery, fencing, MMA etc
- Creative direction, photography is also coming through.
- You're very good with your words, whether it be in writing or speaking.
You are rather mutable and a very poised individual too, you can easily influence the people you come in touch with. Some of you can be good speakers, representatives or the face of a brand. Whatever you do, you end up being very good at it whether you like it or not.
The advice is to simply continue what you're doing, you're not as lost as you think you are. Keep making connections and continue being yourself instead of trying to make yourself small and fit in or follow trends or the algorithm.
Picture 3
You feel like a misfit and an outsider so much so that being passionate about anything worries you because you may end up looking a fool, not being good enough or not being disciplined enough.
You carry a lot of anguish in you mainly because you had to focus on things that were expected of you or because you had to survive so you might feel like you're good at many things but not great or could be great at something but you don't necessarily love it.
You're an interesting group here because you haven't even allowed yourself to feel excited about things.
What are you truly passionate about? I see nature, authenticism, a slower, softer life. The word passion itself feels too intense and deliberate for you.
You simply want to experience a life that doesn't feel like you running on a treadmill till your knees give out.
I do see there's an innate desire in you to help others, be it people or animals or even a dying plant. You want to find your peace and bring some of that peace in others lives too. Your energy feels like a walking into a warm cabin in the woods during winter with freshly made dinner waiting.
Hidden talents you have ample, a lot of them are based on learning and perfecting with practice :
- Cooking, experimenting with different herbs. I do see some of you have the potential to start a small business that involves food.
- Gardening and farming
- Painting
- Tattooing (this is coming through because it can be very therapeutic for a lot of you)
- Perfume making is also coming through as well as skincare.
- pottery and sculpting, crocheting etc
- reiki, medicine, physical therapy etc
- divination
Think of a life that's a bit more laid back a career that makes you feel less on the edge.
You've already been running on the validation of people who think you're dispensable or your worth is tied to something outside of you that you can't even find meaning in.
The world needs more souls like you.
The only advice is to be more compassionate with yourself, you're not running a race even if people have constantly been reminding you of it, there's no finish line. The only truth that matters is the story you tell yourself, over and over again. It will come to pass. Continue being. Continue creating instead of wondering about the how. You've figured out many things in your life, let life sort this out for you.
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yndrgrl · 6 months
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yandere! dabi x fem reader?
you're a fool to think that you could trick japan's no. 1 mafia boss, yandere! dabi , & get away with it
long ass fic. crime lord x spy. quirkless! au. heavily tatted! dabi lmaooo. extra dark romance. fem! reader. ooc! dabi. picture "diet mountain dew" playing, thanks. manz is OBSESSED obsessed.
warnings: nsfw, depictions of extreme/hardcore sex, sex slavery, obsessive behavior, making "movies," mentions of heavy stalking & panty stealing, sex in front of his men, sadism, reader passes out, light knifeplay,
a/n: uhhh is this too much (i hope not cuz i have a couple more hardcore ones cooking) 😭 also look, i'm finally doing the requests that are long overdue... my fault, g.
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"boss, she's here," one of dabi's goons said after he knocked on the large, mahogany door. there was shuffling, laughter, then a muffled "send her in," that followed.
"you heard the man," the other shrugged, opening the door for you. after you, they followed into the room.
your heart was pounding out of your chest & there was a violent ringing in your ear. your breathes were shallow & shaken, yet you had to maintain a calm composure because, in the eyes of japan's most notorious criminal mastermind, you were merely a recruiter for his mob. you're playing the part as a low-life thug/seductress who's in desperate need of money.
of course, that's not the case. you had a good head on your shoulders. you were working for japan's government, a special operation unit ran by a sergeant dubbed "endeavor." your mission is to gather information, find out their next big drug trade, & bust it while keeping your head down. & honestly, it's been going well. you were prepared to fight off dabi's goons left & right because, well... you're a woman, & they are horny, egotistical assholes.
however, none of them approached you. all of them looked scared of you, actually. you felt like a badass, but it was also compromising your mission. how in god's name are you supposed to collect intel of no one will talk with you?
"(y/n), baby, please have a seat," said dabi, snapping you out of your thoughts. you didn't know if you should smile or stay stoic, but your nerves got the better of you & your lips curled upwards.
"yes, sir," you said back. you allowed yourself to notice him, his features. he wore a suit, presumably to look professional even though it just made him look intimidating. with his jet black hair, bags under his piercing blue eyes, & pale skin littered with ink, he had an aura around him, & there's no wonder why or how he's gotten so powerful. his tattoos that were visible to you were mainly on his face & on his hands; there was a bold line stretching ear to ear, dipping in the crevasse of his mouth. it made him look like he had a smile. under the bold line were more intricate tattoos-- flowers, thorns, knives, the works.
"please, call me whatever your heart desires, princess," he purred, & the doors of his lavish office slammed shut. there was no reception in this part of his headquarters, you've already checked. you tried reasoning with your worries, telling yourself that there was no way you've been caught, you haven't even talked to anyone!
you replied, "i am anything but a princess, sir."
"sticking with sir?" he questioned, & you nodded, then he continued, "you can be anything you want to be, no?"
"in the perfect world, i guess i could," you said with furrowed brows. why were you in here exactly?
"no, no, no. that's not what i mean."
"my apologies, what did you mean?" you asked, fighting yourself not to fidget. fidgeting means that your nervous, being nervous means you've done something you're not supposed to, & you haven't dont anything wrong.
"i mean, you," he pointed at you, dragging the word longer than he had to, "you. can be anything you want." he was met with a calculating silence. the hairs on the back of your neck stood tall.
finally, you questioned, "why am i here, sir? i'm just a... you know, a concubine." that was your role.
"oh, are you now? what exactly are you doing for my company?" he leaned forward, his face resting in the palm of his hand. he looked bored, yet there was a twinkle in his eyes that said otherwise. it finally sunk in what kind of position you are in. there are two men guarding the only exit, there are three armed men standing behind dabi, & the infamous crime lord himself was sitting across from you, only a desk length away.
"i'm sending men your way so you can grow you um.. company," you told him, & that was the story you're sticking with.
dabi, with a smirk, muttered under his breath with a laugh, "you're fuckin' priceless, doll." with a clear voice this time, he asked, "has anyone touched you?"
what kind of question is that? "yes, sir." no, no one has, you were lying.
he still had a smirk on his face, his bright blue eyes drilling into yours. he fished something in his pocket, his eyes still glued on you. in your head, you kept screaming it was a gun or a knife, he was going to shoot you point blank, you're about to die-
"why do you look so scared, hun?" taunted dabi, finally throwing his hand out of his pocket, & you flinched. this is it, he's about to kill you with a... lighter? wait. he snapped his fingers with the hand that his face was resting on. one of his henchmen quickly handed him something. lighting it, he sneered, "it's just a cigarette~"
he inhaled deep, & blew out a puff a of grey smoke your direction. "you're so jumpy, babe."
"i'm just confused why i'm here is all," you swallowed, your eyes watering slightly because of the smoke.
"i'm considering you for a promotion," he said in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.
"a promotion?"
"yeah, you could call it that. instead of being some recruiter-prostitute, how does 'dabi's little housewife slut' sound instead? nice ring to it, huh?" he said, breathing in the tobacco & studying your expression.
"i-i'm sorry?" you coughed out, shocked.
"you can be anything, can't you? that's your whole job, am i wrong?" he questioned, eyes darkening. his playful demeanor was gone, & something more sinister glossed over his expression.
"i'm not sure what you mean-" you were cut off by his fist slamming down on his desk, the things on it vibrating & falling off.
"(y/n), do you think i'm stupid?"
"n-no, of course not, sir!" you tried to reason, maybe he was upset about something else.
"do you think i'm fuckin' stupid?" the man scowled, standing up to his feet. his henchmen gripped their weapons tighter, their backs just a bit more straighter. oh, he knew.
"i don't think you're stupid, sir. you're a smart man, i know that-"
"though your flattery gets me hard, it's unwanted right now, doll," dabi told you as he walked towards you while you were just sitting there, your hands on your lap. you picked the dirt from under your nails, the balls of your feet grinding the vintage rug underneath you. your eyes were trained on him in fear that, if you looked away, he'd pounce.
under your breath, you repeated unsure, "hard?" you didn't mean to say anything, it just slipped out. suddenly, as he was standing directly on your side, he gripped the arms of your chair & forced it to turn. he caged you between him & the chair, him bent down so his face was only inches away from you. you could smell the smoke on his breath, his expensive cologne, & faint iron smell-- whether it was blood or gunpowder, you didn't want to find out.
"you're so bold, spying on me~ i didn't think you'd actually accept the job, yet here you are, thinking you are just so clever, huh?" he laughed in your face, but his tone was still deep.
"y-you know?" you stuttered out, eyes wide. he was so close to you, he was a killer with no remorse, that's what they told you before you took this mission. you've heard it all before, & you've taken guys like him down, but they've never caught on to you. you had no plan, all you could do is hope that your crew knew your location.
"of course i know, (y/n)~ i know so much about you, & i must say, i'm such a fan," he started, looking at you up and down. you weren't cowering away from him, but you also weren't confident. you were going to try something, he knew it. "i'm honored to be your next big case. it's such a shame you won't be completing your mission though."
you swallowed thickly, & you gave him your best don't-fuck-with-me glare you could muster. "what now then? you caught me, you gonna kill me now?" you barked, hoping to intimidate him. instead, you were met with a bone chilling smile.
he chuckled, brushing his fingers through his wild hair, "oh no, sweetheart, i'm afraid you don't understand~" you started to search for something under your skirt-your gun- when he tightly gripped your wrist. "don't," he warned as he matched your glare.
the firm grasp you had on your gun loosened & it fell on the floor. he kicked it towards one of his men, who swiftly unloaded the mag & tossed it in the trash. "if it's information you want, you're not getting it outta me."
"wrong again, you get one more chance."
"would you stop fucking with me!?" you screamed at him, ready to oppose anything he wanted you to do. he gripped your chin, his fingers squishing your cheeks together, & your hands shot up & held his wrist as you tried to wriggle out.
"watch your mouth when you talk to me," he warned, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. "such a dirty mouth. if you were anyone else, i would've shot you instantly. consider yourself lucky."
"shtawp! le'me go!" you muttered through your puckered up lips, & surprisingly, he listened. once he let you go, you through yourself back into the chair to create as much distance as possible (it wasn't much). "wh-what are you going on about, dabi?"
"i thought i was, 'sir,' doll? what happened? we friends now?" he teased. the man gave you a fake pout & an eye roll.
"you wish. now answer me. what are you t-" he locked eyes with you once again, & you stumbled over your words, "t-talking about?"
he let out a dark chuckle, kneeling in front of you so his face was nearly resting on your lap. "princess, haven't you notice something weird has been happening ever since you took down shigiraki almost a year ago? don't you always feel like you're never alone? things appear in your car out of nowhere? your panties go missing from your apartment? haven't you ever wondered why you always feel so uneasy no matter where you are?"
your expression shifted from confused to terrified.
"you think you're all alone when you're scrubbing those perfect tits in the shower, huh? you really put on a show f'me when you masterbate. so fuckin' nasty, you know. i would love to know who's on your mind when you fingerfuck yourself," he said, licking his lips. his suit pants were tight enough that it was hard to miss the growing bulge. your eyes were teary out of embarrassment. "but i think i know who's on your mind when you do such dirty things."
"y-you don't know anything. m-my crew will be here soon o-once they realize i-i've been caught!" you fought, yet he had no care in the world. he through open your legs & tsked. you were told to wear a short skirt to "make it more believable," & now you're regretting everything. you tried to press your hands in between your thighs to block your clothed pussy out of his curious gaze.
"do you think so? cuz i think that they've completely forgetten about you 'cuz someone gave endeavor an anonymous tip on where my next drug deal will be held. i think that's more important than some captured spy, to be honest," he told you, "besides -men, hold her down- i have a feeling you actually really want this."
his goons, as they were told, held your wrists to the arms of the chair while another stood behind you, his gun looming just barely in the line of your vision. your legs were spread, & your arms were restrained. you thrashed as dabi's hot touch trailed up your calf to your inner thigh. your face was red hot in anger & flushed in shame. to fit your role, you wore a dark purple thong. your body betrayed you, a wet spot staining your panties. "st-stop! you-you're under arrest!"
"i-i-i am! oh n-no! wh-whatever will i do?!" he mocked, & his men laughed like he was some comedian. "please, (y/n), love, drop the fuckin' act. it's cute & all, but i'd rather you'd just stop pretending, i want you to enjoy this as much as i'm going to~" he faux pleaded, but he knew, either way, you were going to love it eventually. he heard your sighs of content whenever you read 'good guy x bad guy' spicy romances, he recorded you moaning his name when you first got assigned to this case.
"i-i really won't tell anyone, p-please let me go," you begged, watching him stand up & take off his blazer. he threw off his tie, unbuttoned his white dress shirt, revealing his toned, tatted body. every part of his torso, chest, & arms were inked with dark grey tattoos. on his left pec was your initials in some fancy, grand font-- except it was a fleshy pink. a healed scar.
"you like it? or are you scared? i can't really tell," dabi questioned, leaning close to you. his guard's hands were replaced by his. "(y/n), if you tell me to stop nicely, maybe i will. granted, i'll lock you up until you're ready, but i'd wait. so tell me, with that dirty mouth of yours, what do you want?"
"uhm... w-what are you talking about?" you tried to avoid his inquiries, it shamed you to say the least. if you were to say what you wanted -what you truly wanted- you'd betray your country. you didn't want to answer.
"now, or later?" he repeated, tapping your wrist. "i'm gonna need to hear you say somethin' or i'll just do whatever i want, & trust me; you won't be able to handle it."
you were silent, your eyes darted from his icy ones, to his cold lips, to his tattooed body, & back to his eyes. avoidant, maybe that's all you have to do. he'll get bored of someone quiet, no?
"(y/n)~ sweetheart~ you're making a bad choice by keeping your mouth shut, unless that's what you want. you want me to use you, hm?" he teased, biting his lip afterward. dabi knew that look you were giving him because it's the one he gives you all the time. pure, primal lust. intrigue. but mostly lust.
you opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. your heart was beating out of your chest, your voice caught onto your throat. you pondered, just for a moment, & you let your impulse control the outcome; you stayed silent.
after shutting your mouth, dabi smirked devilishly. "you've made your choice, remember that. so don't get too mad at me, 'kay? i give you permission to enjoy this as much as you want, but you probably didn't need my permission," he snickered. the man didn't even let you answer before capturing your rosy lips with his.
his kisses were intense, rough, yet so, so needy for you. in between pants & kisses, he whispered things like, "i've held myself back f' you," &, "god, fuckin' finally." your wrists were once again restrained by his henchmen, while his hands wandered around your body. as one hand cup your precious face, the other groped your tits through your clothes. if one shifted around your neck, the other one would be gripping your hips, bruising you already.
his pierced tongue explored your mouth. saliva dripped from the corners of your mouth, dribbling down your chin. his tongue was down your throat as he choked you. your spine jolted when two, long fingers began to ghost up and down your pussy, pushing a little harder over your clothes clit. he hooked the front part of your thong & pulled up. you let out a muffled scream as your panties disappeared in between your pussy lips. they were drenched in your arousal, & now you started leaking onto your skirt & his chair.
he finally released you from his kiss, your lungs burning. you let in a few shallow breaths before dabi bit your neck. he still had your thong wrapped around his finger, & every so often, he would pull upwards, & a scream of pained pleasure would follow in suit. bite marks & hickeys covered your neck. "all mine~" he purred, licking your tender neck.
"let's get these fuckin' clothes off'a ya," snarled dabi through gritted teeth. it was like opening a present for him. he tore through your t-shirt with ease, not even bothering undressing you all the way so the fabric just hung off of your shoulders. he suddenly fished a knife out of his pocket & cut your bra off of your body. he glided the dull side between the valley of your breasts, down to your heaving stomach. he shoved your mini skirt up around your waist & he cut off your soaked thong.
"fuckin' hell, babe. i've been dreaming about this," he groaned, stabbing the blade into his wooden desk. dabi squeezed your plush thighs, his handprints bruised on your skin. what was strange was how his men acted while the two of you were intimate; they were stoic & unwavering, their hardened faces expressionless.
they were under dabi's complete control, & that's just how he is. he knows how to get people on his side, he knows when they're interested, that's why he's such an influential man. "you really thought you could trick me?" he barked, pulling his leather belt out of his pants' loops. he fastened the belt around your wrists. "poor, little (y/n)~ all hot & bothered in front of the enemy~" with your hands bound, your legs were put onto the arms of the chair. once again, you were restrained by his men. ashamed & -quite honestly- turned on, you were splayed out on the chair, legs spread & pussy throbbing.
he undid the button on his pants, & they fell to the floor. his boxers were soon to follow. you were gawking his member, you couldn't help it. it's the biggest, thickest, you've ever been with in your life.
a smug, toothy grin stretched on his face as he watched your reaction. "you look shocked, doll," he noticed. dabi stood right in front of you, the tip of his cock gently slapping your clit. the contact made you jolt every time. "you've never been with someone like me, huh? that's why you're so quiet?"
you nodded sheepishly while you stared up at him with your doe eyes. he coated himself in your arousal before lining himself up with your entrance. dabi, in such a hushed tone it almost sounded sweet, cooed, "it's a shame i'm gonna use that perfect body. i want you to remember you chose this."
"y-yes sir, i-i remember," you replied back. when he whispered in your ear, it sent electricity up your spine, & you'd subconsciously arch your back.
he placed a firm kiss on your jaw, & he praised, "that's my girl~" dabi slid past you folds, diving himself into your entrance. he let out a throaty groan as he through his head back. his adam's apple bobbed, his hair becoming even more disheveled. dabi wasn't a man known for his slow, savory approach; his gentle demeanor was short-lived. he forced his cock into your dripping hole balls-deep. you let out a breathy scream, eyes widen for a second.
dabi towered over you, muscles flexed with every thrust. he pounded you into the chair that, with every thrust, you felt the chair legs wobble underneath you. he shooed his guards away from you because, in all honesty, you were not getting away from him. he's wanted you for too damn long, he's been patient enough.
honestly, it surprised him how slow you were taking the mission. you were behind enemy lines for months, you'd think that you would want to spend the least amount of time there as possible. it's no matter though, he has you right where he wants you. "aren't you worried, (y/n)? you're so quick to trust me," he pointed out in between his harsh thrusts.
every jerk made your tits bounce; he was fucking you so hard that your hearing became fuzzy. he kept hitting your g-spot over & over with the same roughness. "mnh~ t-too fast~ ngh-ahh," you whimpered. did he say something? if he didn't, you didn't even notice. it just was so overwhelming. even though you couldn't keep your mind straight, dabi still kept fucking you like you were some sex doll.
what snapped you back to reality was when a snap echoed off the walls, & your elevation changed. there was a pressure against your chest & a slight pain your back that was soon stretched out. the chair broke from beneath you. your head was cupped by dabi's tattooed hand. he laid flush against you while he folded you in half. your knees were to your chest & your legs rested on his broad shoulders.
at this angle, you could feel his cock in your stomach pumping in & out of your pussy. you let out a scream of pleasure as you begged, "sl-slow down! c-can't handle it!"
"aww~ i'm so sorry, doll face. i can't do that for you. maybe next time though," he joked as though he wasn't pounding you into oblivion. tears of overstimulation & slight frustration welled in your eyes. it was like you were cursed to overwhelming pleasure & moaning out his name forever.
god, did he have stamina. after an hour of raw fucking, he flipped in so many different positions. after the mating press, he put you into missionary with a tight grip on your plush hips. your arousal stained his expensive carpet, not that he cared because he'll just hire someone to clean it.
while he missionary, he let out a hearty groan, & his voice broke for a second. he held you tight as he drained his cum inside of your weeping hole. you thought that would be the end, but he took only a moment to breath before flipping you over to fuck you from behind.
ass in the air, back arched, & your face pressed against the ground, you saw stars that began to cloud your already-blurry vision. he rubbed your sensitive clit while he pumped his cock in & out of gorgeous, pitiful you. you whined for an ounce of sympathy. it was your first mistake thinking he was a normal man, & your second mistake was staying quiet when he so-graciously gave you a choice on how you wanted him.
"you're taking me so well, doll~" he praised with kisses on your arched back. you clenched around him when he said that, & his brow quirked up. "oh? you like that? you're squeezing so tight after i said that," he laughed. "you're such a pretty girl, all cock drunk just f'me~"
"st-stop it, you're b-being so-so mean," you sniffled but you didn't actually mean it... you were kind of a brat, but that's a secret you'd never tell. xoxo.
once you said that, he went more rough than before-- something you didn't realize was possible. you've creamed on his cock more times than you could count on your fingers with both your hands, yet he's only ejaculated once. the white stars started out as tiny dots, yet every time you came on dabi's thick, hard cock, they grew bigger. "g-gunna, i'm g-gunna... cu.. cum," you droned, letting the white stars overtake your vision, & all the sounds you hear became nothing more than a buzz. the only thing you could hear is dabi's laughter as you slowly slipped from consciousness. you squirted all over his cock -something you've never done before- then passed out. you went completely limp as subconscious sighs of pure hormonal ecstasy mixed with your heaving breath.
"uh oh, someone couldn't handle it," dabi tutted, yet he was still relentless as ever, make good of his promise to use you however he pleased. "what time is it?" he called out, & one of his men answered.
"hmm... i think it's about time for the show to begin then~" dabi said, petting your knotted hair as he scratched your scalp (all while he's still inside you, mind you). he came all over your ass a few moments later, then he carried you to his leather couch.
~~~
"where the fuck are we?" endeavor muttered as he stood in front of an abandoned movie theater.
"this is where the tip said dabi would be," his right hand man, hawks, told him. they were both in their tactical gear equipped with war-grade guns & knives at their disposal. soldiers rushed out the back of van in a single file line & they branched off to surround the building. some hid within the trees & branches, others crouched beside the doors to the building, but they were all waiting for one thing; endeavor's command. "should we try contacting (y/n) to see if she's heard anything?"
"we can't," endeavor said shortly, it would compromise the mission if they reached out to you before the designated time. you've agreed to have a twenty minute rendezvous with one of your "co-workers" every three days at three in the morning. your next scheduled rendezvous would be tomorrow.
his walkie-talkie buzzed off, & one of the squad captains said, "team one, in position."
"team two, in position."
"team three, in position."
"team four, in position."
endeavor, after hearing each captain, responded, "team zero, in position. take initiative in three... two... one...!" the burly man kicked open the main entrance door then pointed his gun around, using the flashlight to scan the area.
on his radio, he suddenly heard, "we've found something in theater nine!"
"hold your position, i am on my way. any surrounding teams make your way towards theater nine."
he stepped over debris, ignored any graffiti on the wall, & noted just how dark the atmosphere got the further he went down the corridor. down the hall was a glowing number nine above the very end left door. the fact that there was still electricity running through the building made him wonder how long dabi has been using this place for deliveries. it made him upset that he was right under his nose.
for years he's been hunting this man, this mafia who always seemed to be two steps ahead of him. now? now he had the upper hand. he has the newest, strongest equipment. his men were in the peak physical condition with reaction times as fast as f1 drivers. yet why was it this easy? he couldn't help but wonder.
endeavor reached theater nine, hawks close behind. the rest of his team stayed out of the room for look out. the other teams were already in the theater, fingers on their guns' trigger. it made a few of them jump when the projector started. "there's a man up there!" one yelled, & immediately endeavor turned over his shoulder to shoot at the projector window.
the bullet shattered the window, narrowly missing the shadowy figure. a team was already in pursuit, the captain speaking through their radio to let the others know. the projector was still running, & a voice caught endeavor's attention. his breath hitched, eyes narrowed.
"hello, endeavor~" greeted dabi, shirtless & coy as ever. "right on time, how did i know you were gonna be here?" he taunted, & endeavor noticed dabi's icy eyes darting down then back to the camera. all that was in frame was his upper half, a grand bookshelf in the background. his arm rested stretched out on the back his sofa. the other was in his lap.
"now before you leave & try to take this film for whatever, i wanna give you some peace in mind. my initial plan was just to blow all of you gullible fuckers up, but your cute little spy begged me not to, so you all better thank her. bad news though, you're not gonna see her any time soon," dabi sighed with fake sadness.
whispers erupted from endeavors soldiers. "(y/n)? is he talking about (y/n)?" "fuck... you don't think he..."
"don't get you panties in a twist, she's more than alright. i take good care of her. honestly, i should thank you for sending her right to me. when we get married, i might invite you to the wedding~" he cackled, & a cough was heard through the video. dabi suddenly looked down & yanked something, no, someone up. the back of your head was seen on the bottom of the camera.
"you fucker," endeavor cursed, even though it would fall on deaf ears. he couldn't tear his eyes away from the video. he wasn't even studying it anymore, he was just listening in disbelief.
"i made this movie to... send a message, i guess you could say," he shrugged nonchalantly. he looked back down to you, & his eyes softened. "c'mere, princess," he whispered, & as though you were hypnotized, you climbed atop his lap. "face the camera, show everyone how pretty you are~" & you did as you were told.
gasps filled the theater, nearly everyone looked away & took off their helmets. "oh, my god," hawks said in shock, it just slipped out. he looked at his -self-proclaimed- partner to gauge his reaction. endeavor couldn't tear his icy blue eyes away from the screen. he was as stiff as a statue, breath held.
the camera zoomed out, & there you were in dabi's bare lap, he held your legs wide open. your eyelids drooped, drool made your lips glossy, & you were practically limp in his hold. goops of cum seeped out of your puffy pussy, there was ropes of his semen covered your thighs & lower stomach. hickeys & hand-shape marks bruised your skin. instead of yearning eyes, begging for help, you had a nearly lovesick smile on your face. gently, dabi kissed your head, pecking down to your cheeks & he said hushed sweet-nothings into your ear.
"don't ever try to spy on me again, endeavor. & don't try to save (y/n), she doesn't need it. i promise i'll take such good care of her~"
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honeytonedhottie · 6 months
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cultivating creativity and a deeper understanding of self⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🍰
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PROMPTED JOURNALING ; 
shadow work and prompted journaling is a rly helpful way to get to know urself better. it cultivates not only creativity and a sense of identity, but also healing.
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journal therapy is literally everything and i cannot recommend it enough. some shadow work prompts that you can use to start off are listed below.  
what part of myself do i feel disconnected to and why 
how do i let others invade my boundaries 
what beliefs and behaviors did u adopt from ur family that you now question 
what easily triggers sadness or anger from you. and what might be the deeper reason for this sensitivity
are there desires and ambitions that you feel embarrassed or scared to admit? and why?
journaling mainly involves self expression without fear of judgement. it’s like expressing urself without feeling ashamed so i highly recommend it for anyone who feels like they struggle with self expression. 
SELF EXPRESSION ; 
working on ur self expression also helps to kind of cultivate a sense of identity and knowledge of who you are and what u value. like i mentioned earlier you can express yourself in so many different ways. i’ll get deeper into the self expression aspect in the post. 
PASSION ; 
what are you passionate about? what drives u everyday? is it money? academic validation or academic research? maybe it’s romance or a strong desire for something. 
it’s okay. everyone’s answer might be different but there’s no wrong answer. identify what motivates you and what ur working towards. 
BEING BORED ; 
give yourself the privilege to do nothing. give yourself the luxury of being bored. when ur not doing anything, this frees up ur mind to think and cultivate ideas and concepts, most of the epiphanies that i have are a result of my alone time. 
when there’s nothing to do, you’re forced to think. and most ppl look for distractions and excuses to not spend time by themselves bcuz they don’t wanna spend time in their thoughts. they don’t wanna just be in their mind and i understand cuz at one point i was also in that position. 
to break this habit and be comfortable in ur own mind you must first be uncomfortable. start small, dedicate a small amount time to just lay and think, let ur mind wander as far as you want. and the next day let ur mind wander for a longer amount of time and so on until you can do this comfortably. 
CREATIVE OUTLETS ; 
something that i’ve learned on my journey is that having a creative outlet was rly important for me to be able to cultivate who i wanted to be and to be authentic and original. 
a creative outlet is a way that u can express yourself and your ideas some examples of a creative outlet could be 
pinterest accounts - i have so many pinterest accounts and on those accounts i turn my boards to art. lately i’ve been interested in photography and photos in general so this was rly good for me. 
a blog - starting ur own blog about something that ur passionate about/know a lot about or something that ur learning about is a great way to track progress and document ur journey
a journal - like i’ve mentioned earlier on in the post a journal is the simplest one to do in my opinion and i love it so so much
creating art - whether it’s pinterest boards, paintings, sketches, music, poetry, stories WHATEVER YOU WANT. 
DEEPER UNDERSTANDING ; 
process ur emotions in a thoughtful and efficient way and try looking deeper into ur behavioral patterns and habits. why are you the way you are? 
what are you passionate about? etc etc. cultivate a relationship with yourself through self care and healing work. remember that healing isn’t a linear process and in no case will it be, but i think that u owe it to yourself to know and cultivate urself. 
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