#cuz it makes me think about myself more deeply

[hecksupremechips]

Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨

[honeytonedhottie]

starting ur healing journey⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🩹🎀

healing is so important for us to function and have good quality of life. a lot of the time its easy to brush ur mental and emotional health underneath the rug but its just as important as ur physical health, if not more important. take care of urself…💬🎀

SHADOW WORK ;

shadow work is a form of journalling that focuses on confronting our "shadows" or parts of us that we dont know well, to help kind of understand ourselves better, why we respond to certain situations the way we do etc. it rly dives into urself and ur shadows.

HOT TIP ; if u search shadow work prompts on pinterest they have some rly rly good prompts, thats where i get all of my prompts. i also have a couple posts that include shadow work prompts…💬🎀

the most common way i see people do shadow work, and the way i do it, is by using shadow work prompts and choosing a few that resonate with me. i'd answer the prompt in depth and talk about it in my journal. shadow work has helped me heal in so many ways and i highly recommend it if ur thinking about starting to do shadow work every now and then.

WHAT DO U STRUGGLE WITH ;

recognizing what triggers you and things that u struggle with help you to identify the underlying source. this is called being more aware of urself, so i challenge u to dig deeper into urself and try and find out what the BIG idea is.

some things to take note of when ur trying to identify the deeper reasons for ur behaviors, feelings etc is to look at…💬🎀

♡ what do i value

♡ what do i have the strongest opinions towards

♡ what is something that i think of all the time/why do i think that all the time

by also looking at ur biggest fears, ur strongest opinions and ur deeply held values u can kind of understand what u value most and where ur insecurities and fears stem from. something that u can also look to is the things that u regret...

STRUGGLE WITH REGRET ;

first off, understand that u should recognize, reflect and then move on because living in a past moment is stagnant and u can't expect urself to heal if ur doing so. the only thing that u rly can do is heal from it and learn from whatever u regret so much so that then in the future u dont repeat those same things.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING GENTLE WITH URSELF ;

practice self compassion!! i swear everyone is so kind to literally everyone EXCEPT for themselves. give urself a break and humanize urself. u can do this by allowing urself to make mistakes and forcing urself out of the shame cycle. you are allowed to make mistakes cuz your human!! stop being so hard on urself.

furthermore remembering to be gentle with urself can cultivate a better relationship with self. acknowledge ur feelings and remember that whatever emotions ur feeling are totally normal and valid. doing things like…💬🎀

♡ journalling and nurturing urself, ur being gentle with urself and to me thats rly important when embarking on ur self healing journey

WAYS TO SHOW URSELF THAT U CARE ;

♡ practicing forms of self care and grooming - ur showing urself the love that u deserve and that ur worth taking care of and putting in effort for

♡ being mindful of ur health through what u eat, how much u sleep etc

♡ walking away from toxic situations, people etc and protecting ur peace in doing so

♡ getting fresh air everyday and moving ur body

♡ focus on urself and your needs before focusing on the needs of other people. you first.

SEEK AND YOU'LL FIND ;

lately most of my worries and the thing that has been putting the biggest strain on my mental health is things that i dont have the answer to. and by seeking help from some of my moots and my friends and searching on my own for answers that satisfied my curiosity i feel like i can live yk? cuz im constantly in a state of wondering and asking myself things that ik stress myself out and im working on breaking that cycle…💬🎀

[whyse7vn]

FWB -

[ot7 x reader]

NAMJOON -

namjoon: u like sunflowers?

y/n: you need to stop giving me flowers after we fuck

namjoon: why?

y/n: people don’t do that?

namjoon: i do?

y/n: and i have way too many flowers in my house rn

we like fuck a lot….

namjoon: but i like getting you flowers

y/n: i know

namjoon: do you not like flowers?

y/n: i do

namjoon: so i should get these sunflowers rn is what ur telling me

y/n: you do not need to get me anything

we fuck cuz i think ur hot and ur convenient

NOT because you get me flowers

namjoon: oh

y/n: oh?

namjoon: ok

y/n: don’t tell me i hurt your feelings

namjoon: you didn’t hurt my feelings

y/n: are you lying to me?

namjoon: a little bit

y/n: namjoon….

namjoon: i’m sorry….

y/n: this is not very no strings attached of you

namjoon: baby :(

y/n: YOU made that rule might i add

namjoon: i take it back

y/n: you can’t take it back

namjoon: i just did

y/n: ur just horny

namjoon: am not

i just like you

a lot actually

i like you a lot

can’t help but buy you flowers

y/n: joon

namjoon: yes baby

y/n: /&/&&&;&;&;

you make me sick

i REFUSE to blush and giggle rn

you do this all the time

u nasty little freak

act like you’re deeply in love with me or something

and then just ghost me for 100 years

and come back when u wanna fuck again

namjoon: not true at all

i ignored you for 2 days

ONE time

y/n: so you ignored me on purpose???

namjoon: you know i would never

was super busy i promise baby :(

y/n: i can feel ur horniness through the screen

namjoon: can you feel all the love i have for you as well??

y/n: see you ARE horny

namjoon: out of love and appreciation

y/n: whatever

namjoon: i’m standing in the middle of this florist looking like and idiot

come on baby

sunflowers yes or no?

y/n: no namjoon

and anways jin is at mine rn

so ur gonna have to wait until he leaves

and that’s IF he leaves

namjoon: that’s ok jin’s a very busy man these days ofc he’ll leave

i can wait

y/n: jin is not a busy man at all

you and i both know that 💀

he’s literally been crying in gc about how bored he’s been at home

namjoon: he has?

y/n: yeah literally yesterday

and the day before that

namjoon: maybe i didn’t see that

y/n: you need to read the gc more silly!

namjoon: ur right baby i do

y/n: ofc i’m right

namjoon: of course :)

y/n: …..

are u fr……

this is not fair

why is he leaving?????????????

namjoon

…

this was supposed be our catch up time☹️

what did you say to him????

and WHY is he listening to you

namjoon: didn’t say anything

told you he’s a busy man baby

y/n: shut the fuck up

namjoon: not nice :(

y/n: idc actually!

namjoon: you do

y/n: bring me tulips you slut

JIMIN -

jimin: you need to buy more bread

y/n: ???

jimin: you have no bread

buy some more

y/n: are you in my house rn????

jimin: come home the kids miss you

y/n: motherfucker

jimin: i’m more of a you fucker!

y/n: shut up

jimin: shut me up

y/n: leave my house

jimin: are you on ur way home?

y/n: how did you even get in??

that is highkey very scary jimin!

jimin: do you not want me or something

y/n: hey i never said that did i?

jimin: well ur acting like you don’t want me :/

guess i’ll just leave then

sighs looks out window….

y/n: aw what a shame guess i’ll have to eat this bread i just picked up by myself….

jimin: hey i like bread….

y/n: no way me too…

jimin: you can make toast with bread…

y/n: that’s true and i make really good toast….

jimin: you do….

y/n: so like do you want to have toast with me….

jimin: wow look at you practically on ur knees BEGGING for me 🙄

y/n: whatever

you’ll be the one on ur knees soon anyways

jimin: is that a threat???

y/n: it’s a promise mr park!

jimin: just say you want my hand in marriage at this point

y/n: lol!!!!!!

jimin: i know you do

deep down

y/n: keep telling urself that!

jimin: she wants you jimin 😍

y/n: fucking freak

jimin: she REALLY wants you

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: you told yoongi we were dating?

taehyung: can’t hear you rn babe

i’m literally drilling holes in the wall

it’s real noisy

y/n: we fuck each other that is it tae i told you this….

taehyung: 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀 you want me 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀you need me 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀 🌀🌀you are my girlfriend 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀

y/n: stop it

taehyung: you are in love with me

y/n: i am not

taehyung: sorry can’t hear you i’m drilling baby

i told you this already

y/n: drilling does effect your reading ability

taehyung: oh my god the wall dust has gotten into my eyes i can’t see omg someone help me ohhhshuszu

y/n: ur not funny

taehyung: can i come over later 🥺

y/n: can you stop telling people we are an actual couple

taehyung: i love you

y/n: i’m going to drop you

taehyung: in bed?

y/n: should of rejected ur stupid offer when you asked

fwb my ass

taehyung: we have that type of love that it gets just gets so overwhelming in the best way

don’t you agree?

y/n: shut the fuck up

taehyung: you know i like it when you take control

y/n: i’m gonna stop speaking to you taehyung

taehyung: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭baby plz😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i can’t even breathe without you 🥺

y/n: i mean it tae

taehyung: ok but let me sing for u rq

y/n: no

taehyung: you should let me love youuu

let me be the one tooooo

give you everything you want and neeeeddd

y/n: shut the fuck up

taehyung: i forgot the lyrics hold on

y/n: i am not holding on

taehyung: wait that’s so jack and rose core

i’ll never let go jack 🥺

and then she lets go of him

or does he let go??

idk i forgot

y/n: wish you were jack

taehyung: you into white men???

i’ll be a white man for you

y/n: absolutely not

taehyung: i’ll make you mayo sandwich

think that’s a white person delicacy

y/n: ur getting blocked now

taehyung: ok but we still fucking later???????

y/n: …..

taehyung: ???

y/n: ur so fucking annoying

taehyung: >3<

y/n: 5

don’t be late

taehyung: 🫡

JUNGKOOK -

jungkook: the weather is so nice rn

y/n: do you want to fuck?

jungkook: please 😭

y/n: just say that next time idiot

jungkook: i’m sorry

just wanted to be a gentleman

don’t want to act like just using you for sex or something

y/n: you literally are???

jungkook: not true!!!!!!

y/n: 🤨

jungkook: i’m very upset that you think that

ur worth more to me than just sex ☹️

y/n: since when??

jungkook: since our first date i think

y/n: our first date????

you mean the time you took me to buy a plan b??

jungkook: no the time we had ice cream…

y/n: AFTER you took me to buy a plan b

jungkook: ☹️

y/n: don’t frown at me kookie

jungkook: don’t u like me?

y/n: ofc i like you

i’m fucking you am i not?

jungkook: yeah but

y/n: but?

jungkook: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

y/n: don’t you understand the concept of friends with benefits?

jungkook: i do ☹️

y/n: so why are you frowning at me?

jungkook: i just thought the benefits would be you falling deeply in love with me and holding my hand sometimes idk….

y/n: kook

jungkook: i’m sorry

y/n: 😐

jungkook: but like…

have you???

fallen in love with me i mean

i mean it’s cool if you haven’t

well not cool

but like cool for you

not really cool for me

but i’ll like cope lol

y/n: sighs

jungkook: changing the subject sorry i’ll cry

but anyways i know i said i wanted to be a gentleman and not act like i just use you for sex or whatever

but i do really need you rn lol

i can come over now right?

cuz i’m on my way lol no joke

i hope that’s ok with you

cuz it’s ok with me

ofc it’s ok with me why did i say that

sorry

but if it’s not ok with you that’s fine

well not fine for me lol

cuz i’m like painfully hard rn

that’s kinda gross

sorry i don’t know why i said that

but it’s ok i can always like

um

fuck some else

?

if ur busy or just not in the mood

i get it

don’t worry

y/n: omg you fuck other people?

wow i’m impressed!!!

you go superstar jk!

jungkook: I DON’T I DON’T OH MY GOD I DO NOT

idk why i said that lol

sorry for shouting

um yeah

i don’t

y/n: oh

jungkook: do you??

not that it matters or anything just wondering

y/n: well

jungkook: actually i don’t want to know lol

sorry for cutting you off btw

i didn’t mean it

well i did but like not in a i don’t care what you have to say type of way but in a if you say what i think ur gonna say i’ll throw up and cry and jump off a building

lol

that was a joke lol

LMAOOOO

ha

i won’t do those things actually haha 😭

i am a tough guy

i can handle if you were seeing other people

i can still come over btw right???

y/n: you talk a lot of shit

jungkook: sorry

i’m sorry

i get that

y/n: i like you jungkook

jungkook: yOU DO???

*you do?

sorry caps

oh wow

thanks ha

lol

i like you too

a lot

y/n: i want you

jungkook: OH

ok OK YEAH

that’s cool lol

in what context tho haha

like you want me as in you want me to be ur bf?

you want me to fuck?

you want me to die????

you want me

and this means it’s ok to come over right?

y/n

hello??

you have an incoming call from kook ♡

YOONGI -

yoongi: you free? :3

y/n: i am

yoongi: :3

y/n: idk what that means

yoongi: yes you do

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: stop lying

y/n: never lied in my life

yoongi: ur lying rn

y/n: don’t think so

yoongi: shut up

y/n: that’s mean

yoongi: i’m coming over

y/n: for?

yoongi: y/n

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: stop it

y/n: stop what

yoongi: i’m not saying it

y/n: saying what

yoongi: …

y/n: what u coming over for yoongi :3

yoongi: no

y/n: no?

yoongi: changed my mind

not coming over

y/n: ok

yoongi: ok?

y/n: ok yoongi

yoongi: so u fucking other people now

y/n: woah?????

where did that come from

yoongi: ur fine with me not coming over..

you must be fucking someone else

y/n: jealous much

yoongi: SO YOU ARE?????????????

y/n: don’t shout at me

yoongi: i didn’t shout

y/n: you definitely did!

yoongi: i don’t even care fuck who you want

y/n: ok

yoongi: ok??????????

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: no

y/n: are you mad at me rn?

yoongi: no lol

y/n: wtf did i do to you what the hell

yoongi: who is it

y/n: ????

yoongi: give me a letter

y/n: a letter?

n??

yoongi: NAMJOON???????

yeah just go ahead and block me now

fucking namjoon

ur telling me namjoon better than me

LMAOOOO

y/n: tf are you talking about

yoongi: you and namjoon

y/n: me and namjoon??

yoongi: oh

so ur not..

y/n: i’m not following

yoongi: me or namjoon?

y/n: what

yoongi: you following me or namjoon

y/n: on insta??

twitter???

tf are you taking about

work with me here yoongi

yoongi: i’m drunk

y/n: that makes sense

yoongi: i lied

y/n: i don’t believe you

yoongi: i’m outside

y/n: my house???????

yoongi: no the fucking world trade centre

y/n: the what

yoongi: open ur fucking door

i need to kiss you

SEOKJIN -

jin: IF YOU TOUCH JUNGKOOK ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA THROW UP EVERYWHERE AND RUIN THIS PARTY FOR EVERYONE

y/n: i think he’s so cute tho :c

jin: CUTE?????

he thinks 4x4 is 7 and i heard he never showers

but you see me i know that 4x4 is 24 and i shower regularly

y/n: 4x4 is 16 you idiot

jin: go away

y/n: you look like a loser in the corner by yourself

where ur hoes at seokjin?

jin: my one and only hoe throwing herself all over one of my best friends rn

y/n: no way?

jin: yes way :/

y/n: does she look good doing it tho?

jin: so good actually

i might faint

y/n: why don’t you go talk to her

jin: like i said she’s trying to fuck my best friend rn

y/n: ur no fun

jin: ur a cheater

y/n: i’m single actually

cheating is not a possible thing for me to do rn

jin: ur supposed to be my fwb not jungkooks

y/n: we are not exclusive jin u know this

and anyways sharing is caring!

jin: convinced you’ve lost your mind

y/n: ur wasting my time rn

kookies getting upset i’m not paying attention to him

jin: kookie????

don’t play i’ll throw up rn

watch me

sticking my fingers down my throat as we speak

y/n: no ur not

i can see you yk?

jin: so NOW you’re paying attention to me

y/n: i always have been

how else would i know you’ve been standing in that corner for and hour like the little creep you are

jin: ok it hasn’t been an hour

y/n: ur right

+30 minutes

jin: yeah whatever

you wanna leave rn??

y/n: only if i can bring kookie with

jin: no

y/n: but look at him

jin: he’s pretty ugly

y/n: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

jin: i am not sharing you with anybody

y/n: that’s not ur decision actually

jin: it should be 😒

y/n: you asking me out rn mr kim 🤨?

jin: no

well

unless…..

y/n: me you kookie

one night i promise

jin: 😐

y/n: listen

jin: listening

y/n: one way or another i’m fucking jungkook tn

ur lucky i’m inviting you

jin: SIGHSSS

you ARE a cheater

i’ll let you fuck jk if you go on a date with me

y/n: can you not read??

was gonna fuck him anyways

jin: ok but I’LL join if you go on a date with me

y/n: you were joining regardless

jin: not true!

y/n: very true!

jin: ….

if you knew that why were you begging me?

y/n: had to make you feel special somehow

jin: you say that like i’m not?

y/n: you are

jin: i know

y/n: i’m glad

jin: ur so hot

y/n: thank u kookie just told me that ��

jin: he doesn’t say it like i say it tho

y/n: you sure?

jin: very

y/n: interesting

jin: are you guys coming to the car or what?

y/n: so eager

jin: you blame me?

got to show jk how a real man fucks

then i got to take my girl on the best date of her life

y/n: your girl?

jin: problem?

y/n: *friend

jin: no!

y/n: ???

you can’t just say no

jin: watch me do it again

no!

y/n: i am NOT ur girl

jin: u right

wife 🥰

y/n: no!

jin: don’t use my shit on me

y/n: watch me do it again

no!

jin: ok whatever

ur opinion on the matter isn’t valid anyways

y/n: ???i think it is

jin: no!

y/n: kill yourself

jin: not really into the whole suicide thing

can you come kill me??

i would prefer you take me out via strangulation

y/n: you me sick

jin: come to the car now i’m boredddd

y/n: i don’t see you moving to the car

jin: i’ll move when you move

y/n: whatever

jin: so excited wifey😋🥰

HOSEOK -

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: sometimes i think if i knock on your head i would hear an infinite echo

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: or maybe ur skull would just completely collapse idk

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: yeah you said that

i bought you a tshirt by the way

was feeling generous

feel blessed bitch

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: ok

can you like shut the fuck up

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: hey (ok)

hobi: so… (it’s HUGEEEE btw)

y/n: so… (ok)

hobi: hey (no joke basically a third leg)

y/n: ok stop

hobi: no (can we fuck)

y/n: out shopping with family rn ur gonna have to wait

hobi: i can’t (they can join lol)

y/n: ur gross

hobi: ur kinda a shit friends with benefits (want u so bad dick might drop off)

like where are the benefits at rn?? (pls come take care of me)

y/n: i have a life hobi

cant fuck you all the time you know

hobi: boo (please)

y/n: do you not have anyone else that can help u rn?

hobi: are you stupid????? (i think ur stupid)

y/n: don’t call me stupid :(

hobi: sorry pretty (suck my dick pls pls pls pls)

y/n: i am out hoseok

hobi: don’t same my name like that (i’ll cum)

y/n: i did not say ur name like anything

i typed it

hobi: but in that moment and time i imagined the way you say my name (it’s hot)

y/n: stop imagining things then u whore

hobi: i’ll shoot myself (COME OVER)

y/n: stop typing like that

hobi: come over then i’ll stop (rizz)

y/n: shut up

hobi: ..- .-. / ... --- / .--. .-. . - - -.-- / .. / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / . .- - / -.-- --- ..- / --- ..- - / .-. -. / .-.. --- .-.. (morse code rizz)

y/n: why tf do you know morse code

hobi: you never know when you need it i be in a lot of different situations pretty girl (strong brave educated man rizz)

y/n: whatever u freak

hobi: 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01100101 01111000 01110000 01101100 01101111 01100100 01100101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 (binary rizz)

y/n: what the actual fuck

hobi: i’m horny (i’m horny)

y/n: couldn’t tell actually

hobi: lol me gustas mucho no es broma sé mi novia (ultimate spanish rizz)

y/n: girlfriend???

hobi: YOU SPEAK SPANISH?//£:£:&,£:

y/n: you like me??????????????

hobi: BYE LMAO

—

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

surprise guys ;p

[doumadono]

Hi Luvs!! This is an emergency request and I would like to ask can you do Bakugou x Gn! Reader where Bakugou comfort Reader who has low confidence and insecure??I'm requesting this cuz lately I've been having no confidence especially in my body and I always find something that makes me insecure like how broad my shoulders are and stuffs. I hope this isn't alot to ask♡♡

A boy who believed - Bakugo x gn!Reader

A/N: remember, your body is unique and beautiful just as it is. Everyone has features that make them feel insecure, but those same features are what make us unique and special

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

The day had been relentlessly harsh, and as you sat in your dorm room at U.A. High School, the weight of your insecurities felt almost unbearable. You couldn’t escape the whirlwind of self-doubt that spiraled around your mind, attacking every aspect of your appearance and worth. The mirror seemed to taunt you, reflecting back the things you hated about yourself - your appearance, your perceived flaws, every detail that made you feel less than. "Why can't I just be confident?" you muttered to yourself, frustration and sadness mingling in your voice.

A sharp knock on your door snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. You wiped away a stray tear and called out, "Come in."

Bakugo entered. his sharp eyes immediately took in your distressed state. "Oi, what’s going on with you? You've been acting off all goddamn day."

You tried to shrug it off, but Bakugo's piercing gaze made it hard. Too hard. "It's nothing, Katsuki. Just… having one of those days."

He didn't buy it for a second. Instead, he sat down beside you on your bed. "Cut the crap. I know something’s up. Tell me."

Taking a shaky breath, you looked down at your hands. "I just… I don’t feel good about myself. I hate how I look, I hate my broad shoulders, body, everything. I feel so insecure."

Bakugo's eyes softened as he reached out and gently tilted your chin up so you were looking at him. "Listen to me, and you listen good, nerd. You're amazing just the way you are. You think I give a damn about how broad your shoulders are? Hell no. You're strong, you're capable, and you're perfect to me, just the way you are."

A tear slipped down your cheek, and Bakugo wiped it away with a tenderness that contrasted with his usual grumpy nature. "But it's hard not to compare myself to others. I just don’t feel like I measure up."

He sighed deeply, then pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "Screw what others think. You’re not here to measure up to anyone else. You’re here to be you, and that’s more than enough. I see you, all of you, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing."

You clung to him, feeling the tears flow freely now, a mixture of relief and lingering sadness. "But what if I can’t stop feeling this way?"

Katsuki pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his expression fierce with determination. "Then I’ll be here every damn day to remind you how incredible you are. You’re strong, and not just physically. You’ve got a heart that cares so much, and that’s something to be proud of."

You sniffled, a small smile breaking through your tears. "Thanks, Katsuki. I really needed to hear that."

After some time, Bakugo insisted on dragging you to the common area where some of the other students were hanging out. "C'mon, we're not gonna sit in that room all night. Let's go."

You hesitated but followed him, his hand firmly holding yours. As you entered the common room, you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you. It was hard to maintain your composure.

But Bakugou squeezed your hand reassuringly and leaned in to whisper, "Remember what I said. You’re amazing just as you are."

The rest of the evening was spent surrounded by friends, laughter, and a sense of belonging. For the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of confidence begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth and strength of the boy who believed in you more than you have ever believed in yourself.

[aanoia]

Orphic (pt. 7)

pairing; Ao'nung x Sully!reader Orphic; (adj.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding words; 4,012 warnings; sadness Pt. 1; Pt. 2; Pt. 3; Pt. 4; Pt. 5; Pt. 6 I figured it'd be nice to get some other perspectives in here, so I present to you; Ao'nung (cuz I can't help myself), the beautiful L'oa (OC, love her), Tsireya, and Neteyam. (Can you tell I got tired at the end?). Anywho, I kinda love this chapter a ton. Basically italics is like flashbacks, this chapter probably spreads over the time of a few weeks, maybe a month. So they've been on bad terms for a good bit of time. Planning on fixing things (or attempting too) next chapter! (because I want it to be cute when Ao'nung's Soul Brother comes :]) As promised, your long fic...

Ao’nung sighs softly as the undeniably beautiful girl in front of him talks. She has an easy smile on her face as she recounts a story, her and her brother racing on their ilu. It just made him think of Y/n, no matter how hard he tried to get her out of his mind, it seemed impossible. Ever since that night, she’s like a persisting bug, that won’t die even after stomping on it a dozen times. That’s how he felt, hopeless. And it showed. 

“Ao’nung, we need to talk.” Tsireya says the moment the marui flap closes. Ao’nung ignores her as he sits in his corner of the room, pulling out his knife to sharpen his spear. Tsireya persists, walking to him and sitting in front of him. “I’m serious. You’re different- I want to know what’s wrong, brother.” She looks at him in worry, her ears flat against her head. 

“There’s nothing, ‘Reya. I’m busy, leave me alone.” He says calmly, beginning to slide the blade across the spear.

She tilts her head in disbelief, “It’s Y/n, isn’t it?” She doesn’t miss the way his muscles stiffen, and his cuts become more aggressive. “What happened between you two? Lo'ak said she’s been acting differently as well.”

He scoffs, shaking his head, “Butt out of it. Nothing happened, and even if something did, it’s none of your guys’ business. Leave me alone.”

She frowns deeply, “But Ao’nung everybody notices your changes. You’re becoming…” She hesitates.

“Becoming what?” He hisses, tired of the prying of his private life. He’s allowed to have personal things, and feelings.

Tsireya sighs softly, her eyes lowering to the ground, “The same mean, terrible boy you were before.”

The blade slips and nicks Ao’nung’s thumb, making him yelp in shock and pain. He hisses, tossing the knife to his side as he instinctively raises his knife to his lips. Tsireya gasps softly, reaching for his wrist. He pulls away from her, standing and glaring. 

“It’s got nothing to do with you, Tsireya. Stop being annoying, and just let it be.” He storms out of the marui, and if the flaps could slam shut, they’d fall off their hinges. 

“Uh, Ao’nung,” The girl’s melodic voice beckons him out of his thoughts, and he raises a single brow. “Are you in there?” She asks, smiling a little.

He hesitates, and clears his throat, “Uhm, yeah, yeah. Your dad won the race.” He lists off unsurely. 

Her face falls, “My dad was out hunting. It was my brother.”

Ao’nung pauses, and sighs softly, “I’m sorry, L’oa. My mind has been elsewhere.”

L’oa looks at him sympathetically, and she gently rests her hand on top of his, “Do you want to talk about it? Your mother said it’d be good for us to talk about this kind of stuff with each other. Said it’ll bring us closer.”

Ao’nung pulls his hand away from hers and turns his head, staring out at the water, “It’s none of your concern. Nothing you can fix, anyway.”

She retracts her hand with a frown, “Are you sure? I could at least try to understand.”

Ao’nung’s jaw locks, “I’m sure, L’oa.”

She stares at him for a moment, before nodding, “Okay. Well, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

He nods, not bothering to answer. The truth is, the girl his mother chose for him is an amazing person. She’s beautiful, good at everything she does, kind to everyone, funny, etc. She’s got all the qualities a good mate, and a good Tsahik would have. But as hard as Ao’nung tries to convince himself that he likes her, and that she’s great for him, he just can’t. Because despite how perfect she may be, she’s not Y/n. All he wants is Y/n. Every experience he has with Lo'a, he imagines how Y/n would react. He always knows, too. Whether she’d laugh and smile, or frown and furrow her brows. 

Sometimes, when he was alone, he’d imagine her there with him. He’d talk to her and laugh with her. He knows exactly what she’d say back to him. He’d do it in such a way he’s sure that if someone discovered the boy, sitting alone and talking to the air, they’d think he was crazy. But he didn’t care, it seemed to be the only thing keeping him sane. He can’t handle seeing her everyday with her siblings, his sister, Rotxo, or anyone, instead of him. 

However, once he sees her eyes he’s reminded of the way they look that night. Filled with tears and the telltale signs of her lies. The night she told him she didn’t care about him, and could never love him. It reminds him of when he left her and beat a poor, innocent tree until his knuckles were raw and covered in blood. He didn’t know what else to do, so he closed his heart off again. Went back to being brooding and angry, to a more severe degree than before. Not even his own family escaped his wrath. 

“My son, could you help your mother cook, please?” Ronal asks softly, a tone saved only for her home with her family. If she had eyebrows, one would be raised as she watched her eldest brood in the corner of the marui. He ignores her, simply rolling his eyes and turning his shoulder. He’s sharpening the same spear, which has become ineffective due to its newfound shortness, a consequence of frequent cuts being made.

This catches the attention of Tonowari, and he looks at his son, “Ao’nung, your mother has asked something of you. If you know what’s good for yourself, you’d grant her requests with a smile.” His tone left no room for rebellion, but Ao’nung didn’t care. He ignores his father as well, his slices becoming more aggressive. However, he is careful not to nick his finger again.

Tsireya watches the scene unfold with worry in her eyes. She knows how this goes down, but it's never been this bad. She stands and silently slides out of the marui, slipping out without being noticed. Tonowari strides over to his son, his anger overtaking him and he roughly takes the spear from his son's hands. Ao’nung jumps up, hissing slightly as he reaches for the spear, but his father holds it out of his reach. 

Tonowari stands tall, “I am unsure of what is going on with you, Ao’nung, but I am sure that your behavior towards your parents is unacceptable. Whilst I understand you are going through something, some weird teenage phase,” It’s something he and Jake have frequently talked about. “But it does not excuse your cruelty! I will have it no more!” His voice has raised as he spoke, and his chest heaves. 

Ao’nung stares at his father, anger radiating off him, “You don’t know anything.” He mutters.

Tonowari tilts his head, “What was that, boy?” Ao’nung meets his eyes, and Tonowari is taken aback at the fire burning within them, “You know nothing! And I am so tired of you acting like you do. You have no idea what is going on in my life. I’m done doing shit for you, I have other things to worry about!” He’s picked up the dirty language from listening to Lo'ak and Tsireya. “You two are shitty parents, and I’m sick of pretending you aren-”

He’s cut off by a sudden stinging in his cheek, and a loud crack echo in the marui. Instinctively, Ao’nung’s hand flies to his cheek, and he looks at his father in shock. Tonowari looks equally as surprised, and soft cries from Ronal are soon the only sound heard. But Ao’nung hears nothing but his heart beating against his chest as he runs out of the marui, leaving behind the leaders of the Omatikaya people, but more importantly, his parents. 

“Ao’nung.” L’oa once again breaks him out of his thoughts, this time an angry look is settled on her face. “I’m leaving. I’ll talk to you later, when you can actually focus on me.” The girl stands and stalks off without another word.

Ao’nung, just now registering the situation, sighs deeply. He lays back on the sand and watches the clouds. Sometimes he wonders what it’d be like to fly in them. On one of those ikrans the Sully family came on. Y/n offered once to give him a ride, but he declined out of fear of falling. He realizes now that that fear has held him back his entire life. Since he was a little child, he’s feared doing things differently. He’s been afraid of being his own person, not being the perfect son for his parents. And it made him bitter, so bitter. But now he understands where that fear came from, because he fell for her. He wonders if the brutal pain of landing on the hard ground was worth the temporary freeness flying gave him.

“Ao’nung enough!” His father roars. Once again they were fighting. Ao’nung barely remembers what about, something to do with the lack of fish he brought home for the family. “I don’t know how many times we must have this talk! I see you are hurting, but it does not give you a right to take it out on your family! We are sick and tired of you wreaking havoc in our home. You need to pull yourself together if you ever wish to be Olo’eyktan! Do you hear me, boy?!”

Ao’nung’s chest heaves as his fists clench in anger. He debates hitting his father, but he can’t. His hands won’t move. His aura radiates anger, but more so grief. And slowly the fresh facade he’s built up crumbles. His eyes sting as his bottom lip wobbles. He bites down on it to suppress the cries, but he fails. A small sob escapes his lips, and a tear runs down his face. Tonowari’s face immediately softens, and he pulls his son into a firm hug. The action only makes more tears fall from the boy's eyes, and he hugs back immediately. He holds onto his father tightly, as if he’ll disappear. Ronal watches the scene with wide eyes, unsure of whether to join in comforting her son. The faltering confidence in her decision grows, and she debates on whether her need to be right is really worth her own child's turmoil. 

Tonwari rubs his back, whispering quietly, “Sh, it’s okay, my boy. It’s okay.” He mutters softly. He’s reminded of when Ao’nung was a small child, and he cut his leg on a piece of broken coral. To the young boy, it was the worst pain he’s ever experienced. And to Ao’nung now, almost an adult, this was the worst pain he’s ever experienced.

“I’m so-” Ao’nung is cut off by his own cries. “I’m so sorry.” He manages to get out. Guilt, on top of everything else, creeping in. 

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Ao’nung’s cries bring tears to Tonowari’s eyes. “We forgive you. You’re okay.”

Ronal looks at the ground, closing her eyes. It wasn’t. 

L’oa walks home with a heavy heart, and her ears pressed flat against her head. She sighs softly, her feet dragging along the sand. She’s liked Ao’nung for as long as she can remember, since she was a little girl. She had fantasies of one day marrying him and being his Tsahik. So, of course she happily accepted when the current Tsahik came to her family. She had noticed the proximity of the Sully girl and Ao’nung, so she had respectfully backed off, but now she had him. He was finally hers, just as she’s dreamed of. 

It felt like a slap in the face as she made the realization that he never really was, and definitely never would be. She can see it in his eyes when she’s around, the longing, heartbroken stare. It hurt her heart, more than she would ever admit. Not that she had anything against the Omatikayen girl, but obviously she’d done something to break the boy. L’oa wished that he could just open his eyes and see her. See that she’s always been there, just waiting for him. 

L’oa enters her family marui obliviously, humming quietly to herself. She glances up and freezes in place. In the middle of the marui were three adults kneeling, her mother, father, and the Tsahik. Her posture straightens as her eyes widen slightly. They all looked at her, as if she walked in on a top secret conversation. Her mother beckons her over, pointing to the spot next to her. 

She kneels as she addresses the Tsahik, “Tsahik, I See you.” Ronal nods calmly, her face showing no emotion. It unsettled L’oa, but she didn’t speak on it. 

“The Tsahik was just speaking to us about a proposition.” Her father says softly, smiling a little at his daughter. 

“Whatever for?” She asks curiously, looking at the Tsahik.

“My son needs a mate.” Ronal says stiffly, L’oa’s heart drops. “And I have chosen you to be that for him.”

L’oa doesn’t say anything, taking in her words, “What?”

“I would like you to be my son's mate. You are a good choice. You are smart, and brave, and kind. The village likes you.”  L’oa blushes at the praise from the Tsahik.

“Must they mate immediately?” Her mother asks softly, her hand resting on Lo'a’s back. 

Ronal shakes her head, almost disgusted by the idea, “Oh, Eywa, no. They will hang out and get to know each other. Learn to love each other. They shall mate when they are ready.”

L’oa’s dad looks at her, “The choice is yours, Lo.”

Every eye in the room was on her, and her palms were slick with sweat. She swallows thickly as she nods, “I- okay. Yeah. I’ll… be his mate.”

Her mother smiles, “Perfect. Thank you, Tsahik, for this visit.”

Ronal nods, and everyone stands, “Thank you, for your daughter.”

“L’oa, walk the Tsahik out.” Her father commands gently, but firmly. L’oa nods, leading Ronal to the flap of the marui. 

Before she leaves, Ronal turns around and places her hand on L’oa’s shoulder, “You will be good for my son. Much better than she was.”

She?

L’oa wipes a stray tear from her cheek as she passes by a familiar group of friends. Tsireya notices her and frowns, standing up and running to her.

“L’oa!” She grabs ahold of her friend's arm, tilting her head. “Is everything alright?”

L’oa nods with an easy, practiced smile, “Of course, Tsireya. You?”

Tsireya nods softly, “Would you like to join us?” She moves slightly, so L’oa can see the group. Lo’ak and Neteyam are wrestling “to the death”, and Rotxo laughs as he watches, holding Tuk in his lap. Kiri rolls her eyes as she watches, hiding her amused smile. L’oa’s gaze locks on the final girl, Y/n, as she just watches with a small smile. Seeing the girl she knows Ao’nung’s love just makes the aching in her heart worsen. 

L’oa shakes her head, “Thank you for the invite, but I must go. My mother and father are waiting for me at our marui.”

Tsireya sighs and lets her arm go, “Okay. If you ever need me, I’m here.”

L’oa nods, smiling, “Thank you, Tsireya.” She looks over her shoulder at Y/n once again. “But I think I’ll be fine.”

It is widely known how empathetic Tsireya can be. It’s in her nature. The village elders say she gets it from her father, and he was the same way when he was her age. It’s her proudest trait, and sometimes her greatest weakness. She can see her brother’s anger, and feel his grief. And she can feel it from the people around her as well. Her parents, her friends, even the sea seemed sad in a way. 

She’d spoken to Lo’ak about it, and it revealed that they feel the same way. Y/n had been acting similarly to Ao’nung, except she’s reclusive, and he’s explosive. She’s learned that Y/n hides away from her family now, and refuses to talk most nights. And she’s explained how Ao’nung is completely the opposite, exploding at his family and storming out of the marui. 

Lo’ak softly wipes from Tsireya’s cheeks, “Sh, baby, it’s okay.” He pulls her into his side, rubbing her shoulder gently.

Tsireya heaves a sigh, sniffling softly, “I just don’t understand what happened between them, Lo. And why? They really loved each other.”

Lo’ak frowns deeply, nodding, “Yeah, as much as I hate the idea of fish lips loving my sister, and the other way around, they really did. And he took care of her, made her happy.”

Tsireya smiles a little, “And her, him. He was so bitter before he met her. So mean. She really changed him. And now he’s even worse than before.”

“Yeah.” Lo’ak furrows his brows, “It was all so sudden. The split.”

Tsireya bites her lip as she stares at the water, the dim glow of the foliage underneath the surface lit up her face. Her feet are dipped in, and she relishes in the small comfort of the cool water around her ankles.

“I wish there was something we could do.” She says softly.

Lo’ak kisses the side of her head, “Me too, ‘Reya, me too.”

And after that night her brother and father got in a fight and she ran, she found herself at the Sully's marui. She was unsure who she was there for. Her instinct called for Lo’ak, but when the flap opened and she caught a glimpse of the girl behind Toruk Makto, her name spilled from her lips. 

Tsireya was slightly out of breath once she reached the Sully marui. Her eyes were widened, slightly watery as the voices inside the marui stopped upon noticing her outside. She swallowed thickly as soft footsteps neared the flap, and it opened to a tall, deep blue man. She glanced behind Jake, and her eyes caught onto Y/n’s. Lo’ak stood, assuming she was there for him. 

“Tsireya, what is it, child?” Jake asks softly, worriedly looking her over in her state.

“I need Y/n.” She says quickly, without thinking. Lo’ak freezes, and all eyes land on Y/n. The girl looks at Tsireya questioningly. “Please, it’s important.”

Jake glances back at his daughter, and she nods, standing slowly. She passes Lo’ak, silently asking him if he knew anything about this. He just shrugs in response. She passes her father, and exits the marui. The flap shuts behind her, and the two can hear the family resume speaking quietly, most likely speculating over what Tsireya could possibly need Y/n for. Tsireya can hear Neteyam guess correctly, saying it’s probably about Ao’nung.

“Tsireya? Is everything okay?” Y/n asks gently. Tsireya focuses on her, and pulls her away from the marui, so no one can listen in.

“It’s about Ao’nung.” Tsireya explains bluntly.

Y/n blinks, “What?”

“He’s going crazy, Y/n. He needs you.” Tsireya takes the girl’s hands, holding them firmly. “I don’t know what stupid thing he probably said to make you leave, but please, please give him another chance.”

She has no way of knowing what the girl is thinking, but her deep frown and the pain in her eyes allows Tsireya to read her. She’s always been good and reading people, and Lo’ak once told her that she reminds him of a skywalker quote “The eyes are the windows into the soul”, and she loved it. 

“It’s not-” Y/n inhales deeply. “It wasn’t Ao’nung’s fault. And I can’t go back- I’m so sorry, Tsireya… what’s happening?”

Tsireya’s eyes water, “He’s fighting with his friends, with me, even our parents.”

Y/n shakes her head, “I’m so sorry, ‘Reya, there’s nothing I can do.” Her ears flatten against her head, and her brows furrow deeply. 

A tear falls down her cheek, “Can I at least know why?”

Y/n hesitates, and shakes her head, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She pulls away from Tsireya. “I need to go back inside. Goodnight, Tsireya.” She goes back inside, tying the flap shut. Tsireya stands there for a moment, her mind racing. She sighs deeply, and heads back to marui to find her parents alone, and her father crying. 

Never, in her entire life, had she seen her father crying. Whatever was happening was big, and it caused a shift in the atmosphere of the village. It didn’t take a Tsahik to see that this was against Eywa’s will. 

Neteyam’s days drag on, seemingly no end to either one. He spends most of his time being bored at the lack of training to do, or worried about his sister. She’s never been the most outgoing and crazy, but there’s no doubt she’s an extrovert in everything she does once she’s comfortable with you. But now, even with him, she’s quiet and doesn’t seem to want to do anything fun. She’d rather stay in the marui, or relax in the sun. She won’t even ride her ikran, which worried him the most.

Neteyam rests his arms on Y/n’s shoulders from behind, leaning forward, “Come, ride with me. Like the old days, sister.” The old days was almost half a year ago now.

Y/n glances over at him and shrugs him, “I’m busy.”

He raises an invisible brow, “You’re doing nothing.”

She nods, “Exactly. I’m busy doing nothing.”

He deadpans, “Wow, enlightening. You don’t want to ride your ikran again? He’s been squawking at me nonstop. He misses you, little sister.”

Her face doesn’t change, “I’m older than you.”

“But you’re smaller than me.”

She rolls her eyes, “Fuck off, Neteyam.”

He smiles, ruffling her hair, “Come on, seriously. You need a ride, your legs are getting weak. I can see them losing their muscles.”

Y/n glares at Neteyam, “Didn’t I just tell you to fuck off? I don’t want to go flying, let me sit and relax.”

He frowns a little, “Y/n, flying used to be your favorite thing to do- you never missed a chance to be in the air.”

“Key word: used to.” She sighs, lowering to the ground and laying on her back. “Now, leave me be. You’re blocking the sun.”

He purposefully blocks the sun, casting her in his shadow, “What’s happening to you, dude? You’re acting weird. It’s freaking me out.”

She doesn’t respond, closing her eyes and adjusting in the sand to get comfortable. He waits for a second, before sighing and kicking sand on her. He doesn’t wait for her reaction, just walks off towards the small mountain the ikrans were perched on. He can briefly here her scoffing and cursing him out, but he takes his turn in ignoring her. He reaches the ikrans rather quickly, having taken the route many times now. 

Y/n’s ikran squawks with hope that his rider is finally here, but his head bows upon just seeing Neteyam. Neteyam frowns and gently pets the beasts head.

“Yeah, I’m disappointed too, bud.” Neteyam sighs, moving to his ikran. He hesitates, it almost doesn’t feel right riding while knowing his sister is hurting so badly. He exhales deeply, and sits, his back against a rock. “I can’t fly with you,” He speaks gently with her ikran. “But I can be with you.” 

Maybe if he can’t make his sister feel better, he can make her ikran feel better.  

As the days stretch on, the hearts of those around Ao’nung and Y/n remain heavy with unsaid words and broken bonds. Tsireya's quiet concern, Neteyam's silent frustration, and the deep sorrow shared by all have only deepened the divide between the once-close pair. With each passing day, they drift further apart, caught in their own spirals of pain and regret. Yet, in the quiet moments, the longing for what was remains—a faint glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, the wounds will heal, and the space between their hearts will close. Until then, all anyone can do is wait.

all of you hopefully

my masterlist

If you'd like to be added to my main taglist comment or DM me!

taglist;

@skeletondeerart @munson-mayhem @4-ln4 @cypherpt5fttaehyung

[dr3am5scape]

Got Attention for an Athlete Player

(Football Sevika x Cheerleader Fem reader)

Summary: Your a cheerleader who was caught getting attention from a hot known athlete, Sevika in football practice. You couldn’t help but fall deeply in love with her.

| Request are open in comment or on dm (message) whenever I’m available. Hope you enjoyed reading this and be doing more throughout Christmas break. Praying for this finals to be OVER ALREADY 😭 |

You was a cute cheerleader in college for the next football league game they were having. You’ve been a cheerleader practicing your part of the role to at least do something throughout college life without making yourself bored. You done this about a few weeks and was doing well, until during practices this afternoon, you were playing your role and then someone caught your attention. This athletic fine woman from your eyes, darting at her. And only thinking about is her in your own mindset. Her muscular arm and biceps showing out from her gear. The helmet she had colored black and red. She was quite tired after playing football with the boys, (ofc she’s a tomboy) and had to take her helmet off to feel the wind breezing on her face as she sighs deeply looking up for a second and then grabbing her water bottle from the bench and drank some before going back on practicing for the game. You kept watching her as you weren’t even listening to your own coach from cheerleader team.

Sevika was tackling the other players and move quick to be prepare of catching the football to herself and drifts off quickly to reach the goal. “GO SEVIKA! GO GO GO!”You shouted far distance away from the strong women. Not sure how you even got her name in the first place or if you remember it (Probably ask Vi once), you was so eager to see her play. The moment you started cheering, Sevika glances in the direction to see the one of the main cheerleader who was yelling. At first she didn’t understand what happened but suddenly she felt this pleasant feeling that crept into her. The cheerleader team was already annoyed from your excitement, along with your coach you never like when you signed up for this cheerleading stuff.

Practice was now over just for the day, well evening actually. You pack up stuff from cheerleading, including Pom-poms and the outfit. As soon you came out of the women locker, you saw Sevika’s height talking to someone in front of her, like they were blocking her face. Just when you was about to move quickly, cuz how you would blush like crazy and end up screaming lol, and unexpected thing had come. Sevika quiets down with her group of one of the boys, and turn towards you. She smirk showing her attractiveness face and curve body as she turn half way like she was in her flirting moment. “You were the girl who cheered for me?” Sevika chuckles.

You felt your chest in body heat and your cheeks turning red. You could hear and see she was approaching closer to you which got you startled. “Yeah yeah that was me.” You quiets down. You landed at the wall that was near you, with Sevika leaning her body against you admiring your adorable looks as you couldn’t do nothing but hear your screaming of desire all over your head. You could also hear some of the boys were snickering behind their backs, mumbling and whistling seeing the whole scene just expose out of nowhere. However Sevika ignore all that. She pulled back after observing your beautiful looks from top to bottom. “Thanks that you were able to cheer for me. At least someone enjoys what I do. It kinda made my day bit better,” says Sevika extending you a hand trying not to make the conversation more awkwardly. “I’m Sevika.” You hold onto her hand blushing like a maniac (like chill. I won’t even handle myself well😭😭)

“I’m y/n.”

Sevika smile warmly, eyes looking down at you. “Nice to meet you, Y/n. Am glad we could finally meet for the…first time.” You guys were both blushing red. “However, it’s a pleasure. I must get going. Have many duties to do,” Sevika says pulling back. You understand and wave at her. “Hope to see you another time.” Sevika look you back close to exiting out the building. “Until we meet again, y/n. Good luck out there.” The tall woman waves and disappeared. As soon you came home from the bus, you drop all your stuff in your room and lay on bed, thinking about the bold woman you were just talking to. You dreamed of her the entire night.

Next day (Afternoon-1:30pm)

In the locker room, you was getting pushed around by some girls for no reason. Your backpack fall including yourself on the floor, not wanting to do more cheerleading practice after that issue. You’ve been bullied quite some time since you got in the league of cheerleading and all the girls who were involved seeing you cheer for Sevika so loud, that they were thinking you super annoying and how much they hated you. Anyhow, you move directly to a corner of the wall not trying to tear up. You were pretty upset and tired. “Why did I signed up for this cheerleader shit?” You huff and did your best to stay confident without letting anyone taking you down again. Then you head out to see the whole football field waiting to see Sevika shows up.

In your mind you felt not cheerring or shout during practice. Probably people would think your some kind of fool doing, while everyone is practicing. You just wanted to make Sevika proud. 🥺💕 In your zone, you then saw Sevika and her other team getting ready for position as if their doing an actual game. But ofc your annoying ass coach snap his finger straight at you. “Hey! Get back to work! We don’t have time!” The coach ordered you to do so. While you were getting back in position with the other girls, you tried your hardest to focus on what you were doing but the thoughts were still in you of the woman who played so well. It’s like you want to watch her movement every time you would see her play football.

And just like that you were snatch by the coach. (Ain’t letting that SLIDE) Some of the girls laugh at you getting pulled back away. Even Sevika saw the situation which kinda got concern. Your coach immediately upfront you toward the wall looking pretty pissed. “Y/n if you don’t pay attention during practice, you would be banned from cheerleading at the next game.” You were silent hearing him shout at you. All you could say was “yes,” looking down on the ground. “Won’t do it again, coach.” After practice was over, you throw your outfit in the locker and slam the mess out of it. “DAMN IT!” You shouted not trying to have others hear you including the bullies. You try hard not to cry in front of people but thank god the hallways of the stadium was empty. But just then, Sevika was about to put her helmet on for further practices until she suddenly collided you. She stumbled, even you as you got on top, which thankfully no one was at the area you two were. You got up on your feet, fluster hard. “Sorry…” you said rubbing your neck. “It’s fine. I can’t be mad at you, dear.” Did Sevika just say “dear”!? Your heart pounding inside not trying to show out your true feelings but possibly Sevika might can tell. “I saw what happened earlier that coach of yours. Sorry you got kicked out. I should’ve stop him from doing that.” You sigh and nods. “It’s okay. I deserve to get kicked out. I was already tired of being in it.” Sevika nods as well. “I can feel it,” soft and gentle feeling appearing from the woman’s voice. “ You know just as I even look back on your excitement…” she chuckles “you were pretty much fascinated on the football field~” Sevika smirked trying to make the clear that she was hitting up on you.

You chuckle looking away. “I couldn’t help myself, Sev.” Her mocking but affectionate smile flashed on her face looking down at you. “Can’t deny it, can you~” Sevika says putting her hands on your hips. You fluster more and laugh softly. ���No. It just I have glasses on see” (which I have one). Sevika pulls her hands back laughing softly as well, making you feel weak onto the floor. “Don’t even start blaming on glasses sweetheart. I would still see it through your eyes just as I did now~” She made sure no one else heard you two together somewhere in the stadium area. Everything was okay for now so she was able to take of her helmet revealing her short mullet hair (I WOULD GO FREAKING CRAZY) and slightly tired eyes from practicing.

“Your so…so pretty.” You were breathtaking just watching her look from the light about her head. This moment you really wanted to go for a kiss but you just met her like a few days ago. You really wanted to go and let her explore you and your body, making sure that no one touches you but your athletic tomboyish girlfriend. Someone to keep you warm and protective at all cost. “So are you.” Sevika haves you a wink. Things gotten a bit more awkward but passionate in silence when you two look one another. Even Sevika was mostly focusing on your lips. You both were trying to figure out what else to say. Then the thought came up. “Since I got kicked out, when will you next game be so I can come by and… watch you play.” You say tilting your head at her. “Our next match is in two days,” says Sevika. “I’ll buy your ticket once you show up. Your used coach can’t take away from what your doing for me. Do not worry.” Sevika says handing her phone number. “Call me when you get the chance.” She put her helmet back on, biting on her mouth guard and rush on the field, hanging out with the boys. Can’t believe she GAVE YOU HER NUMBER!? OH MY GOSH!!! (So extra😅) You just stood there like a mechanic doll wanted to freaking scream.

Friday Night (6pm)

The night the game finally begun. You bought some snacks of popcorn and nacho cheese to make things more entertaining and eyeing on Sevika the entire game. It’s like you were touched by her heart, it wouldn’t go away. The bleachers were packed by overcrowded people and you making the way towards the middle almost close to where the cheerleader team was. You had a good looking view of the football field which excites you. Two of the opposite team showed up on the field as the crowd goes wild. You clap your hands not ready to stand up and shout as in a way of embarrassment. Luckily, Sevika turn her back to see you popping your head with a light grey sweater on you. She waved at you, pleasing her cute cheerleader (you) and got on her knees to do few exercise before heading down towards her team.

When the game started, you enjoyed yourself eating the snacks you had. And your coach had to freaking show up during the game. “What are you doing here? I kicked you out of practice.” You turn to look at him wanting him to get crushed by Sevika. “Cheering for someone actually.” You tried to act all popular LMAO The coach rolling his eyes. “On who-“ “None of your damn business. XD” But then he could tell who were you even focusing on which is Sevika, one of the football team as she was ready to throw the ball for someone to get. “I see…couldn’t kept your mouth shut because of some wannabe girl keeping you off of practice just to see her play. Unbelievable.” You was NOT having this ruined your time. Your eyes betrayed him saying that which kinda snap you out. “Look sir, if you want to go and chit chat all you want, go talk to someone else but not me. I’m having the greatest time of my life actually. Am so happy I got kicked out. You won’t have to bother me anyway.” Sticking your tongue out, you walk to the next bleachers feeling proud of being brave to yourself.

Few moments of game, Sevika won a goal which got you on your feet shouting. “WHOOO! GO SEVIKA! YEEEAH!” People were startled from your excitement which made you had a nervous chuckle. “My bad y’all.” After the game was over, the black and red team won. Sevika and others had each trophy and medal. Your snacks was already spilled not even paying attention. Some of the students ran towards the team happy and hugging one another. Also Sevika was getting hugged to. You ran out the bleachers as well jumping on top of her. It surprised Sevika seeing you on top as she tries carrying her trophy on her mechanic hand. “Thanks y/n. You cheered for me so well.”

And like that she went for a kiss on the lips without anyone even bother to see the moment. You kissed her back, pulling up her face not wanting to let her go. “Come over to my dorm as a reward. We can continue this~” You nod. “Of course babe.” Sevika chuckles, waving goodbye at her team and eventually carried you to her dorm for an intimidating night.

| Yes! I was able to keep on writing in each paragraph LONGER because it was pretty much a lot to write and thankfully I was able to do more and not just a short one. If you have any request of Sevika, Grayson, Kuvira or even Mizu from blue eye samuari (I’m a simp for her as well), dm are open or the comment section. |

[murfpersonalblog]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFqc5yJ3/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFqcGyPq/

I hope this isn’t weird but, I stumbled upon these TikTok’s and they reminded me of some your iwtv metas.

@louis-of-nola omg it's not weird at all; thank you for liking my IWTV metas, and for sending me links to these REALLY good analyses of Black & LGBTQ+ people in white media! ❤️ TBH I'm never on apps like TikTok, Twitter or Instagram, so NGL I was bracing myself for rage bait when I clicked the links, only to be pleasantly surprised by these two videos by Mouseabolition on film theory--I sincerely appreciate it!

The first link especially got to me:

Cuz in Mouseabolition's critique of the White Gaze--particularly the White (Female) Gaze--she mentioned one of my favorite horror movies, Get Out.

"A lot of black people I know are able to very deeply care about and empathize with pieces of media that are attempting to speak to our experiences, even when it's done poorly. And we're not necessarily trying to say: 'That's a good thing and that was done well.' But it's the same reason why Chris from Get Out--THE template for black horror--why Chris from Get Out felt like such a new, refreshing horror protagonist. A huge part of what makes Get Out work, and what differentiates Chris from the average horror movie protagonist--outside of just like the surface level analysis of he's a black man--is that Jordan Peele (who is also a black man) was able to write a black character with the realistic higher level of consciousness and alertness towards danger, that all black people have to move with. And that higher level of consciousness is a huge part of why most black people I know can't take white people's horror movies seriously anyway. It's because white people walk around throwing themselves into situations that are destined to create horrific scenarios; and when you are somebody who has to walk around going: 'I can't do that, I'm gonna die!' it's really hard to feel shocked and horrified and surprised when somebody does something that you know damn well is gonna end up with them dead! Black people--particularly like black women and queer folks--don't really have the privilege of walking around with the illusion that we are more or better represented than we are. And so you learn to look at things more critically, and that gets stereotyped as nagging or a bad thing! But it's not, because thinking about things critically, genuinely all the way through, is frequently what leads the black people I know to finding those kernels of good in stories, where most people are just like: 'No, I just think that's silly, it's just dumb.'" (4:10 - 6:02)

I've made four IWTV metas comparing the horrific experiences of Chris in Get Out and Louis in IWTV, cuz I noticed that the core themes of Black men in white spaces wrt vulnerability, exploitation, gaslighting & manipulation resonated between both horror shows in a way that directly reflects IRL experiences.

This is particularly the case when Black people are involved in toxic interracial relationships that end in horrific tragedy for the Black partner. The horror comes into even sharper focus when it's the Black victim who ends up blamed/lied on by their white abuser/murderer that tried to play the innocent victim, weaponizing White Tears to justify/get away with literal crimes--which I've also provided links to before, cuz this BS really happens to us (x).

It's especially effed up when you're dealing with victims of abuse who suffer from mental illness, and are blamed/attacked by the authorities/masses. IRL we see Bipoc mentally ill folk who call the white cops for help and are the ones who get killed (x x); yet the IWTV fandom is overrun with racists who REFUSE to put 2 + 2 together to save their biased AF souls. I felt so vindicated in 2x5 - 2x8 when AMC explicitly showed that Louis & Claudia were telling the truth about the Drop Scene in 1x5, and that Armand had lied the whole time, effing with Louis AND Daniel's memories; after so many racist AF white Lestans & Armstans said the Lou & Claudia were spiteful liars who just wanted poor uwu blorbo Lestat & Armand to look bad cuz they're not Black, like WHAT!? We saw a literal Black LYNCHING happen on screen, where Black!Louis was buried alive & Black!Claudia was burned alive by a bottle-blonde white man in front of a predominately white audience in a "play"/snuff film co-written & directed by 3 non-Black people (Armand, Sam & Lestat); meanwhile the fans INSIST that this show's NOT about race. 🤡 BUFFOONERY!

By race-swapping Louis & Claudia & heightening the abuse they suffered in the books to make their treatment WORSE, AMC was literally talking to the predominately white gaze of the audience that SALIVATES over fetishizing Black people on one hand but still perpetrates injustices against Black people on the other hand; and the racist IWTV fandom proves them right every effing day!

And I also LOVE what MouseAbolition's Tik Tok said about the careful & highly conscious ways that Black people (esp. Black queer people) have to move in society, BECAUSE they're more vulnerable to persecution & penalties & punishment than white people.

Black gay men are marginalized by white AND black people alike; there are Black fans who are also against seeing Louis as a female-coded character. Because this is a white world, the white gaze affects ALL of us, and the panopticon of censure & censorship forces us to police each other and mistreat our own sometimes even worse than white people will--look at emotionally abusive/negligent mothers like Florence who has a particular image to uphold amongst the conservative Catholic Black elite during Jim Crow (vs. white Gabrielle who CAN support her white son's eccentricities); and homophobic women like Grace (who herself is married to a man who's NOT "the man of the house," Levi coddled by Florence & financially supported by Grace's inheritance & Louis' money). But at the end of the day the problem still lies with white (wo)men who weaponize Othering by means of race/gender/sexuality/etc in order to isolate marginalized peoples from systems of support, so that they might be more easily exploited & abused--which I've constantly argued wrt to Loustat.

It grates on my effing nerves when white fans (esp. Lestans) hypocritically talk about gender, culturally appropriating Black queer terminology like "Mother"--which originated in Black gay drag, pageantry & ballroom culture, a la Drag Mothers as exemplified in Paris is Burning, and shows like Ru Paul's Drag Race & Pose--in order to prop up Lestat's femininity and dismiss Louis', all because Louis (as a Black man they've hypermasculinized) doesn't conform to their cis white paradigmatic bias of what femininity & motherhood looks like--which is informed by the white patriarchy to control the social hierarchies of both women AND men, straight & gay alike!

I've adamantly critiqued white female fans' surface-level discrimination against Louis as a female-coded character just because Louis doesn't crossdress--as if Lestat's Mardi Gras dress is the only indexical determiner of gender; esp. for closeted & conservative Black gay men who historically CANNOT safely & freely move in public spaces the way out white liberal LGBTQ+ men can.

Cis white women lusting after Lestat & screaming Yaaas Mother~!, or circling the wagons around Armand cuz they want AMC to move on to Devil's Minion (which not even AR GAF about, lol), just loooove to jump on Louis for being a pimp, for not being feminine enough, for fighting back in 1x5. Black men are hypsersexualized to the point that straight AND gay Black men are perceived as universal dangers to white/non-Black purity, and were lynched by the mob in DROVES whenever if it was even suggested that they stepped out of line; "Louis can sometimes act out."

So yeah, people act like I'm crazy cuz I call this ish out, when the facts are staring them right in the effing face. But I've already been explicitly told by white Lestans that they're deliberately ignoring the red flags cuz it's not fun to turn their brains on & look at their precious blorbos critically and that they'll casually dismiss negative portrayals of Lestat on the show as "poor writing"--

--then the same stans spin their effing tops when they actually pick up a effing book and read for themselves that we're telling the truth when we say AR's darling Lestat's a LEGIT abusive rapist p.o.s.--

--and that Hannah Moscovich was legit for pointing out that it's not character assassination when Lestat's abusive oppressive toxic behavior is effing CANONICAL.

[rottenraccoons]

Sooo, I've been wondering - and bear with me here, please, this is quite specific - how would the LI’s feel about their partner having a language disorder? I don't think any of them would just dip without a word or be disrespectful, but. Well. I'm especially curious about Cirrus, since he's my fav (truly the man of my dreams). Asking 'cuz I've got aphasia myself, so.

Francesco As expected, this isn't an issue for him. He can be patient if needed, and will take the time to accommodate his partner however he can. Only problem would be potential misunderstandings, since he has a habit of taking whatever his partner tells him quite seriously.

Keir Captain Banter here might be a bit more cautious about his interactions with someone with a language disorder until he can "feel out" limits (or they just lay them out for him) in terms of what is cool to bring into bants vs. what is off-limits.

Oleander He's going to make it work, but this is going to be new ground for him. Communication is something Oleander cares about deeply both in his personal and professional life, so he's going to be following his partner's lead on what works for them.

Cirrus Well, luckily for you, he's more a talker anyway. If his partner doesn't feel like speaking or can't, he doesn't need them to, as long as they listen to him and can take orders. If his partner has a hard time understanding him, there might be some friction for a while — but he's happy to help with their learning, so long as they show their gratitude in return...

[akirayuri]

Himeno and himeaki: a rant

I've noticed a lot of people don't really like Himeno and one of the reasons being her apparent romantic attraction to Aki ( and also other than the fact that she almost slept with Denji ) and lmao I do get the hate to some degree but sometimes it feels lowkey forced. And that's why the relationship she shares with Aki kinda gets misinterpreted or it get's watered down to a 'oh he is hot I want to fuck him'

So I just kinda wanna yap my interpretation of their relationship cuz it's not just a typical one sided hetero relationship, it has a lot of layers to it.

For one, I do think what Himeno feels for Aki is more of a personification of her idea of being remembered and mourned. Until Aki came Himeno had a number of partners and subordinates simply dying on her, and it's a very prominent part of her character; watching the people she worked with die. As Kishibe says, Public safety devil hunters have to have a few screws loose and as I say it, you got to have thick skin. The idea of having a 'few screws loose ' including lacking empathy over time which means you don't mourn the death of your comrades.

But Himeno is normal. A country mouse sticking to the city mouse ( Aki ) for his company when she would rather live in the quiet countryside instead. Here there is a lot of parallel between Angel devil and Himeno as they both longed to stay by Aki's side which inevitably brought their doom.

And back to the topic of mourning, I think the idea of being forgotten, so replaceable and discarded into the past had scared Himeno. Deep down she was scared of being consumed by the oblivion that is the apathetic and replaceable management system of public safety. No one would remember her, no one would cry for her. When she probably cried over her drink late at night.

But then Aki happened.

What she loved was his empathy and the ability to feel so profoundly for other people. She wanted that. She carved that. He wore his heart on his sleeves and she was Hungry to take a bite of it. It is selfish, kind of twisted and so uncharacteristically none sexual of Himeno.

She loves Aki but I think it's more of a, "cry me a river and I will gladly hang myself for you" kind. Her tendency to have sex with anything that moves has no effect on her relationship with Aki nor the feelings she feels for him. It's beyond that.

Though I do think her habit of having sex with almost everyone is more of a bad coping mechanism than anything. Just like Aki, she didn't get to process her grief correctly. And unlike Aki, she can't cry.

Here is a bit of parallel she has with Denji of all people with their hypersexuality and the questionable methods of having and viewing sex. Also in that scene when she makes a deal with Denji with the, "you take Makima and I take Aki". For both of them, their person of affection was someone untenable and unreachable, someone who probably didn't return their feelings.

But what Himeno was wrong about Aki not Loving her back.

Yeah maybe he doesn't love her like the way she wanted him to love. He never viewed her as a lover or someone he can have sex with ( I do have a doubt they must've hooked up at some point or Himeno at least tried something very dubious consent with Aki at some point. ). But Aki cared. And He cared deeply. So much so Himeno basically starts to haunt the narrative from this point on lol.

I don't really hate Himeno, far from it. She's so interesting I would love to put her under a microscope and analysis from where that wrecky thought process of her comes from. She's my yaoi girl. What a little freak.

Their relationship is so Yuri coded I don't even count them as a straight ship lmao

But besides anything, my favourite genre of himeaki is bisexual disaster Himeno × gay/asexual Aki queer platonic partners from hell.

[bestjeanistmonster]

hey I always wandered why do you chose certain characters in roles for your DC au like sonic as Harley Quinn or knuckles as bat man?

also I love your content btw!

usually i just choose what character roles i think would be interesting to explore for that character, or just what would be most fun

like when you think of Sonic in the dc universe you would instantly think ‘ok he would be the flash’, and its true that he would probably make a pretty good flash and a good story could come out of that, or maybe making Amy ‘harley quinn’ and again lots of character stuff you could do with that

But those options kinda just. write themselves tbh, its a bit too easy for me to just choose those options and call it a day cuz just looking at them you’d get their entire deal.

So when im choosing character roles im basically asking myself, not just ‘what sonic character would fit in this dc role the best’ but ‘what would this specific sonic character have to do/go through to become some version of this character’ or ‘what how would this dc role have to be moulded to fit this sonic character’

lets take Shadow for example!

he was the first person i made Shadow would obviously be batman, just looking at him and his backstory he would make an amazing batman, he fits that pretty well no question

but at the time i made Shadow poison ivy, i was reading the the comic series ‘Poison Ivy: The Virtuous Cycle’, it went into detail into Ivy’s hatred for humanity and how they’re destroying the planet, and how she plans to kill all of them off (including herself) in order to save it. It was so interesting to think about her hatred for humanity this way, so interesting that my brain was like ‘wow if when shadow woke up from his cryostasis and learnt all this he’d probably wanna kill humanity even more lol’

then i thought about it more, Poison Ivy cares deeply for the environment and basically wants to kill all humans cuz they’re destroying the planet and giving Shadow that role kinda adds another layer to that because human’s are destroying the world that Maria so desperately wanted to see and he can literally feel the planet dying cuz of that plant connection + the fact that he was created artificially in a lab by humans (plus alien deadbeat) away from the planet and having that intrinsic connection to that planet below the Ark his whole life, a direct connection to the planet that Maria loved so much, a connection that he would’ve never fully known the extent of if GUN hadn’t raided.

So what if wanting to destroy the planet, he wanted to save it and to save it he had eradicated a certain ‘infestation’, humanity.

that was super interesting to me to explore as a concept so Poison Ivy!Shadow, the first character in my dc au was born!!!

it’s important to me that though im making Shadow and Ivy have the same role im not just copypasting Ivy’s backstory onto Shadow, they’re different characters and those backstories aren’t necessarily interchangeable, different things happened to make them who they are and one might not work for the other.

And if i do make the backstory similar, i wanna make changes so i can justify why they made these choices, like with what i did Sonic

Sonic’s dc au backstory follows similar beats as Harley Quinn’s backstory, but i added some details make it more believable for me to understand how Sonic could ever became what Harleen Quinzel became. So i started him out Nicky from the sonic manga, an insecure, weak, nerdy kid that’s easy for people to beat up and pick on, so he’d be someone with vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then i had Tails and Amy be his number 1 protectors cuz he can’t protect himself, his insecurities deepening cuz of this (not only can he not protect himself, he doesn’t even have the strength to protect them), he lived in the worst place in gotham, etc. Basically a lot of stuff that Eggman could use to exploit and manipulate him.

this made it really interesting and fun for me to delve into his mindset and see how he would tick!

then from Sonic’s kidnapping came Tails and Amy’s motivations to become vigilantes, to save their friend, people like their friend and to stop people like the joker from hurting them

other times times i just make the choices based on vibes and what would fit the plot <3

this character exploration and thinking process is why i personally don’t allow ppl to make character suggestions for any of my aus, cuz its really a personal process of picking out roles and dissecting them in my brain

but yh that’s pretty much why i picked who i picked lol

ty for the question!

[klausysworld]

So my idea if you accept it for a request is klaus x demigod daughter of Hecate reader and how it would be? Ps like the maybe the ready hate Elena and her friends and when they tried to kill klaus she beat them up and he’s totally taken by her?

I love everything about you.

Being the daughter of Hecate i was deeply respected by the supernatural community. I could pretty much take everyone out with the flick of my wrist so they liked to tread carefully.

These fucking mystic falls cockroaches however seemed to think they could do as they please when they please with no consequences. Elena the doppelgänger seemed to have some sort of invisible leash on everyone in that town, she had two vampire brothers tripping over each other for her, a blonde vampire who was at her beck and call and a Bennett witch who deemed herself ‘invincible’. Honestly, what in the underworld is going on here.

Let’s just say it was a breath of fresh air when the Mikaelsons came up, finally some people who weren’t ogling Elena. I knew who they were already of course, besides my mother was the one to grant Esther the power to create them. My mother’s most sacred animal is the dog, black dogs especially for some reason and so it only made me take a further interest when i witness Niklaus transform into a midnight black wolf. I followed him the whole two days he was a wolf, due to interest yes and also to make sure nothing happened to him, he could protect himself i know but still having a demigoddess watching over you is still an extra safety net.

He looked directly at me a few times but each attempt he made to near me was stopped when i would dissolve into a cloud of mist. His head would tilt and his ears would lay flaw against his head as he reluctantly walked away.

The next time i saw him was when he was in the smokey mountains, poor thing was trying to create more of himself, he just wasn’t seeing the correct picture to follow. I slowly approached him when he sat on a log, head in his hands and bodies piled around him as he waited for Stefan to arrive with a dead Ray. I sat next to him silently and gently rubbed his back, he tensed completely as her glanced up at me, confusion clear in his expression as he whispered a quiet “it’s you”

Not even a second later Stefan arrived and made myself vanish again. It was fun to watch how frustrated he became. I stuck around and went to Chicago but then i had to leave because Gloria started freaking out. She was all “you’ve brought a type of darkness with you” it was weird but like okay?

She couldn’t see me but she started chanting stuff and my mother told me to leave her be so i did.

Mystic falls was boring and Elena was a whiney about Stefan while also trying to fuck his brother, Caroline was always with Tyler and Bonnie was comforting Elena. Jeremy was alright, we spoke sometimes and he always served me at the grill, Matt does not like me one bit and i do not mind that at all.

Eventually Klaus came back and i wasn’t exactly expecting it. He had walked right into me or i walked into him but anyway i got mad cuz i spilt my drink on myself and thought it was gonna be like Damon or something so i started yelling

“can people in this town not look where they’re going for five fucking minutes!? honestly you would think a vampire would have a better sense of direction but noooo” i was wiping at my shirt aggressively until i realised the coffee wasn’t going to come out. I glared back up at the supernatural being to find those beautiful arctic blue eyes. His pretty pink lips were parted in an almost gaping way as he stared at me wide eyed. I felt my anger melt away as i studied the shock within his face.

“i’m… sorry…i wasn’t looking, i was upset about something… and was in a rush” he spoke slow and sounded uncertain

“oh, right well i shouldn’t have yelled. Come on, i need to put on a clean shirt and you can tell me about your problems” now yes i could have probably just made a new shirt appear on my but i didn’t fancy missing the opportunity to bring Niklaus along with me. He reluctantly began telling me that the little gang had brought Mikael to town, tried to kill him and then Stefan stole his family in coffins.

I invited him inside, much to his surprise, and started the kettle. I didn’t bother asking him to turn around when i changed my clothes and didn’t comment on his reddened cheeks as he swallowed thickly.

He stayed for dinner in the end and i managed to dodge any and all questions he tried to ask about who i was or how i knew who he was.

I drove him to the hotel he was staying at while his mansion was being built and even went as far to come inside and see how fancy it was. Let me just tell you it was nice. Real rich people shit.

I said goodnight but just as i was walking out the door his hand was around my wrist making me turn back to him

“yes?” i asked

“i don’t even know your name” he stated or asked?

“maybe next time Niklaus” i whispered before disappearing before him.

From that day i actually saw him quite a bit. Sometimes he even came round for food, he was at my door far more often than i had expected and never brought any threats with him, which was odd as in my experience when someone didn’t know what i was they were very demanding and liked to try and kill me.

I managed to help him get the majority of his family back, his brother Elijah was woken up and he then as a result woke the rest of his family. That night Niklaus stayed at my house…in my bed next to me. He had been sat on my doorstep when i got home with tear stains on his soft skin

“my siblings all hate me and my mother is alive” was all he whispered. I simply opened the door and lead him upstairs to my bed so he could lay down, I got ready for bed and got in with him, now i swear that we fell asleep on opposite sides but somehow we woke up with our legs tangled together, his forehead resting on my shoulder and my fingers in his hair.

He went home after breakfast however returning very soon after with a nervous smile and a box. He handed it to me quickly before vamp speeding away making me laugh at his actions.

The box held a gorgeous dress and an invitation to a ball… as his date.

I made sure to consult with my mother, she said that it was a great idea and he would be great for me, that was the last push i needed to know that i should be with him.

Once i arrived he was already in-front of me, pulling me through the crowd to introduce me to his brother Elijah and his sister Rebekah, he wasn’t sure where Kol and Finn were. They seemed thoroughly amused at his eagerness as they looked me over a few times

“you must be the girl he won’t stop blabbing about, at least he was telling the truth, you are remarkably beautiful, i think you’ll do just fine, come we can judge the other peoples outfits” Rebekah already tool my hand dragging me away from Nik and Elijah.

That night i was told many embarrassing stories of Niklaus, i was threatened by Rebekah not to harm him, Finn gave me some dodgey looked and Kol stared at me in utter astonishment. It was an interesting evening.

I got to dance with Niklaus though, he held me close and spoke quietly into my ear, the moment seemed so intimate. I felt safe and warm with him, his arms around my felt like they were protecting me despite my immortal status.

I ended up staying the night with him as well. There was moment where he seemed as though he was about to kiss me but he backed away and decided to show me art room instead. He was unbelievably talented and i made sure to express how impressed i was which he seemed to immensely appreciate and blushed ferociously at. I told him he was cute but apparently that offended him as he then chased me around the house until he tickled me near to death while i thrashed about on his bed. Eventually we fell asleep after many meaningless conversations that somehow brought us closer though i began to feel bad that i wasn’t sharing much about my past or what i was.

The next day i went home early as i needed to consult with my mother and the other gods/goddesses to see if they would allow me to tell him who i was. Once they agreed i went to the grill to find him. However before i could get to him i heard Damon, Stefan, Matt and Caroline all whispering in the alleyway outside

“Caroline you go in and try distract Klaus, he’s bound to go for you. Then Rick will dagger Klaus and we can grab Klaus”

i sat and waited for Niklaus to follow the blonde outside, i could sense his wariness as he suspiciously eyed the girl.

The second he brought his hand up to his chest as a sign of pain, Damon, Stefan and Caroline were all grabbing him trying to get him on the floor. I felt a rush of power as i flung them all in different directions, they sped back quickly trying to throw me at the alley wall. I got up unscratched and snapped Carolines neck with a snap of my fingers. Damon went straight to my neck and buried his teeth in, Klaus’s cry of agony had me ripping the vampire off me and creating a stake in my hand to impale him with before spinning round to find Stefan with a terrified look on his face and a semi conscious Klaus.

Suddenly Elijah was stood there with a grey looking Kol and was threatening them by sending Rebekah to murder Elena. I wasn’t paying much attention as i quickly checked for any damage to Niklaus. His eyes were wide and he seemed incredibly shocked but other than that he was fine. I pulled him up to stand on his feet before wrapping my arms around him and kissing his cheek

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have left you this morning, i shouldn’t have let them touch you” i muttered to him and he didn’t hesitate in hugging me back. I slowly pulled away and turned to his brothers, Elijah was clearly surprised as he glanced at the temporarily dead vampires and then back at me. Kol was practically buzzing where he stood

“I can not believe you are real! oh god can i have a hug to!?” I raised both my eyebrows and he threw himself at me and engulfed me into a hug, much to Klaus’s dismay as he growled and shoved his brother off

“what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!?” he yelled as he pulled me behind him

“you don’t know who she is?? I mean seriously??” he whispered loudly

“She’s like a goddess” he muttered

“Demi-goddess but whatever” i added

“what?” both Elijah and Klaus questioned

“Hecate, you know like the actual goddess of like magic, witchcraft, the night, light, ghosts, necromancy… and the moon! She’s like real powerful, anyways that’s her daughter” he pointed to me with a wide grin and i let out a laugh at the astonishment everyone was expressing

“you know this is fun but maybe we should focus on the psychopathic mother of yours?”

“right… we can return to this at a later date” Elijah mumbled with a scratch if his head before dragging an excited Kol along with him

I turned back to Nik with a guilty expression

“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you… there are certain rules about telling beings from other realms our secrets and i needed to ask for permission. That’s actually why i left this morning, i asked and i was allowed to tell you…i understand if it’s a lot though, of course-“ I was cut off by the feeling of soft lips on mine, effectively shutting me up as i melted against him. Our lips moved together perfectly and it was as though something had shifted in the world, this was the person for me.

“believe me my love, this is just one more thing that i love about you” he whispered while breathing heavily

“i love everything about you” i replied quietly and he blushed once more as he smiled bashfully

[mywritingonlyfans]

Thinking about Alex as a Vampire sounds good, it will be a good story and he really is a vampire in real life 👀

He really is, right? 😭 (Un)fortunately I gave context to the fic and it won't just focus on smut, but I tried to show it focused on their sexual tension in bites. I say this because I understand that it's possible that people won't like it or won't try to read it, but it's been nice for me to take some time for this ❤️ and honestly it's following a similar path as in Teacher's Pet and Freshness (I'm saying this cuz it's more than one part), the narrative style follows the same. Besides, I wrote parts of Alex writing in a diary every now and then, I'll leave a part of that here in case you want to read it and get familiar with the fic:

...

Brief Memories, Mr. Turner,

I find much delight in her focused gaze, the way her ponytail has stray locks of hair escaping, and the uniform of the café. The apron wraps perfectly around her waist, firmly in place, though she occasionally finds herself adjusting it even when it stays put. I must confess that my thoughts have ventured into more carnal realms regarding her, yet I also harbor the most innocent affections. I consider her most beautiful and charming; my dear human is ever so sweet with all the patrons, and I long for conversations with her, about anything at all.

Even though in the dark of night I am overcome by feelings of what it would be like to have her hands on me, the most delicate movements in her smaller, lighter fingertips; around my neck and veins devoid of life. I also disgrace my mind for finding myself thinking about her taste; even though being uncontrollable about it is no longer an issue. I feel allied in knowing that I would not hurt her, but I would not hold her close to me.

I have never viewed eternity as a blessing, and for years I have brooded over this nature of mine. I am well aware of my own faults and sins; however, the recent visits to see her at the café have made me yearn for the hours and days yet to come. My point is that it pains me to know she cannot reside in my thoughts, a place that, as far as I am conscious of, has no longer been so splendid (or even graceful as her). So far, I cannot ignore how alive she makes me feel (though I know I am not deserving of such significance). I intend to reflect more deeply on this matter and perhaps share my thoughts with Alexandra, who has wise counsel concerning humans and might aid me with mine.

Until we meet again.

...

Just some Dracula!Alex isnpo photos ❤️ tho I reaaally like the hair gel I also I feel like they're both great; I like the first two because of how mature and age-appropriate he is now with him (I say as a human, but my point is that because he resembles that famous painting of the guy with the 😠 expression and it reminds me of vampire figures somehow). Like the more accentuated triangle of sadness and I also really like that haircut on him 😭 hell blood kink and sharpy canines 😪

[nerves-nebula]

Remembered Mikey dissociates and imagines up all sorts of fantastical stories and adventures in his head, not grounded in reality at all. And I was thinking about how I also did that as a kid, thus none of my art or stories related to my deeply suppressed trauma at all. Except I actually just now realized it definitely did, just in more subtle and hard to see ways. It was stuff like scenes accidentally paralleling all the running away from home plans I made, and deity and angel type characters being exactly what I wanted my parents to be (guiding and safe etc.)

Anyway, are there any sorts of weird consistent themes like that going on in ur Mikey’s daydreams?

dissociation as a term evades me at times. like, I actively and intentionally ignored my surroundings a lot as a kid, especially when things got bad. i'd just spend time thinking of my fantasy worlds and tweaking situations between characters and stuff. i could be snapped out of it, but it's also a reason that I can't remember a lot of my childhood lol. but like, is that dissociation? at the time i thought of it more as just "ignoring stuff" if i didn't want to listen to my siblings fighting or i was bored or tired or annoyed, i'd force myself to think about other stuff. and that other stuff was daydreams cuz its not like i had shit going on as a kid. it was a distraction and one i did on purpose.

though there was a thing called "shut down" which I would do to myself when i was under extreme stress and pressure, which was kind of a further step, and more akin to real dissociation. but also somewhat akin to autistic shutdown so idk. these things overlap.

uhh anyway i think what mikey does is more like the "ignoring stuff" thing. you could probably call it maladaptive daydreaming. that's probably what it was.

I mentioned in one of my earlier Neglected posts that he writes his stories down and has like, a long ongoing epic about him fighting what is obviously a stand in for his dad. I think at the time i said he did that on purpose but I think I'mma change that, because it'd be more likely he does it on accident. I also brought up a character he made called "pizza horse" who learns to love herself despite people calling her an abomination for being half pizza half horse.

i think a lot of Mikey's stuff has to do with people being appreciated for things that make them weird, or learning to love themselves or something. first of all cuz that's an easy and popular thing to write about but secondly because splinter thinks he sucks and is weird and stupid and Mikey. doesn't like that! he doesn't like that his dad thinks he's weird and stupid!! it hurts :D sad thing is that even if you decide to say Fuck The Man!! it won't mean u no longer care that your dad hates you :3

anyway sorry i keep rambling the answer is YEA. there are reappearing themes of like, evil guardians, or maybe princes who were stolen by evil people or thrown out into the rain as babies to die- who eventually reclaim all the praise and power they were supposed to have. Kids getting often killing or otherwise "defeating" the people who abused/bullied/hurt them. typical abused kid power fantasy stuff.

I think there's probably a few edgy oc's in there too, like, shadow the hedgehog type edgy. like black and red with glowing eyes and half angel half demon and they end up killing the evil king who keeps them in the dungeon and beats them daily. and there's blood everywhere.

ok i started rambling again about something else under the cut uhhhh sorry its not relevant to ur ask at all asdfsadf

i like the idea of Mikey snapping at Leo, Donnie, and Raph later on cuz he was the first one to realize splinter sucks and they just kind of didn't listen to him for years haha. I like to think about them sitting in like a gay ass therapy circle or something talking about their feelings and mikey thinking.... "isn't this what I wanted? they all agree with me now. We don't live with splinter anymore. It's great. they're even talking about their feelings and trauma... why am i like. kind of angry."

it's something along the lines of him getting annoyed that they all wanted sympathy and companionship and brotherhood now that they realized Splinter is awful but when MIKEY was the only one saying Splinter Sucks nobody listened. Because they believed splinter when he told them Mikey was stupid. Because as poorly as splinter treated them, at least they were all worth something to him in some way.

Like, they all believed Splinter was an Ok Dad because they had stake in believing that. They didn't want to think their dad was awful, of course, but they also had stake in their identities as the favorite (leo), as someone who was making a meaningful contribution (raph), or as helpful towards someone/something good (donnie) and if Splinter turned out to not be worth all that effort- then that'd mean they all suffered for NOTHING.

but Mikey didn't get that. The identity splinter gave him was Useless, Stupid, Annoying one who wasn't as good as his brothers at anything important. And in Mikeys mind (though the reality is more complex), his siblings didn't care enough about him for the way splinter treated him to be seen as an indictment of splinters character. saying "splinter is a bad dad cuz he says i'm stupid" gets met with "but you are stupid tho." and "splinter is a bad dad because he starves me" gets met with "omg mikey you're not special we're all hungry stop whining"

and now they all want to whine about how bad things were??? AND THE WORST PART OF IT is that a lot of the time Mikey doesn't feel like he as a right to complain- i mean they were all doing way worse than him, right? they're sharing all these horrible stories! Donnie was in mental health hell and constantly getting groomed by ppl, Leo was getting sexually abused constantly and had all these secret rules and expectations, and raph had a hand in both mental health hell and sexual abuse AND he had a ton of responsibility when it came to their houses upkeep. Mikey got ignored and belittled but, like!! so what!! that's nothing compared to them.

but it still hurts :D growing up knowing you were in no uncertain terms that your dad thinks you're untalented and wishes he didn't have to deal with you.

Donnie got to be the weird but ultimately useful prodigy, Raph got to be the strongest, Leo got to be the leader, and Mikey got to be a joke.

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[nsfwdxddy]

I'm manifesting this scenario where I see having a sub is just for my pleasure. I don't care what they want, what they care about. All I want them to think about is how they can please me in any given time and fashion. And if they are not gonna fit the bill, on to the next one. A set of holes that I can exploit for my gain.

And that's what I did with them one time. I went home to them and saw them being a helping princess cleaning the room and I felt the sudden urge, the tingle to use their holes right there. So yeah I went up to them as they were bent down sweeping the floor, and I flipped the skirt up, pulled their panties down and stuck my cock into their wet holes. After a point of them, they started to beg me for more, forgetting what they were even doing.

And yes on another time, they were watching their favourite show so oblivious to the fact that I was taking a peek at them very furiously. So yeah, I went up to them and fucked their throat and ruined the show for them because I felt an itch on my cock. And watching their eyes roll back as they took my huge cock into the depths of their throats fighting back tears, was simply a good sight.

And this last one, oh yeah I'm saving the best for last. You might recognise where I'm going with this one. They were fast asleep on their bed and that triggered me. How can they sleep so peacefully while I'm in utter agony. So yeah, I went up to them, tiptoeing my wake so they won't wake up. Slowly I turned them to face me, pulled the panties down and pushed my cock into their tight opening and that was the best feeling ever. The pussy was even more wet and tight when they slept.

I thrust into them really slowly, taking my time to bite into their nipples to please myself. Just looking at their skin turns me on so bad and makes me go feral, that I can't help but mess it up a bit. I bit into their skin, leaving behind permanent marks cuz of course I want to leave marks behind when they eventually fuck up and remember who gave them that. I could feel their nipples perked up in excitement even while asleep because their body reacts to my touch.

And when they slowly started to wake up, I immediately shut them up with my hands while thrusting deeply into them, and I lost count as to how many times I already came inside their hole because of course, it's leaking out onto the mattress underneath staining it bad. The feeling was so good that, that night, I decorated their entire naked body with my cum and bruises and looked at their spent body with glory and victory and felt like a literal god, because of course I'm their god. And they are just here to please me.

[iamnmbr3]

Isn't it funny that Cormac makes Harry angier than Draco ever does? Cormac got on Harry's nerves for ONE YEAR (6th year) but Draco did it for FIVE YEARS and the things Draco did were much meaner than Cormac , the worst things he does are interfering in how Harry manages quidditch team and/or sometimes appearing suddenly behind him to just talk to him or sth. But harry behaves him so aggressively like he just comments and harry's like: shut up i myself know how to do it i'm the captain! Or i will cast a spell i know nothing about on him if he appears once again behind me(although he ended up casting it on draco, that was the first spell came in his mind and it wasn't actually his intention while it was read as "for enemies" and you know that harry considered him as his enemy, now that he's gonna try some new spell on someone, he's not?!!!😏)

some people say it's because harry doesn't care about draco at all cuz everyone like cormac or snape can irritate harry more. I wanted to know your opinion about the whole topic

Yeah absolutely wild that he uses HBP spells on Filch and Crabbe and intends to use one one Cormac...but never Draco. Even though he and Draco have not gotten along for over 5 years by this point and Draco broke his nose and he suspects Draco of being a Death Eater on an evil mission.

I think the way that Harry interacts with Cormac or Zacharias Smith really highlights how different his relationship with Draco is. His feelings for Cormac or Zacharias are uncomplicated dislike. He doesn't like them.

He doesn't care about them. If they're around him he might be hostile to them or if they do something to annoy him he might think about getting even. But otherwise he doesn't care. He doesn't know the names of their grandparents or if they have a pet or what kind of packages they get from home or notice their mood or have the ability to gauge their thoughts and feelings from a glance.

With Draco it's so much more complicated. Their fates are deeply intertwined. And yes there's rivalry and enmity. But there's so much more. Harry cares about what Draco is thinking and feeling. And he can never bring himself to feel quite as much aggression towards him as he should given the context. Because there's something in Draco that he's drawn to, some connection, some spark of chemistry and deep understanding that connects them. They watch each other and they dance around each other and they know and understand each other in a really unique way.