#cuz he’s just realized some things about himself and he will not be dealing with them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thef1diary · 3 months ago

Note

i love love love ghost!max, and i know you’re pretty much only writing smut about him, but i’m in my feels rn, so what if the spirit box stays on all the time now, so that you can openly communicate with max whenever you want. but one day the two of you get in a big fight about something and you turn the spirit box off on him. maybe he realizes that he’s screwed up and tries to do little things for you, like making you breakfast or cleaning something in the house, just small things he’d never done before, hoping you’d turn the box back on and give him the chance to actually apologize

pls ignore this if you’re only sticking to smut for ghost!max, i just needed to get the thought out of my head 🤍

— hi nonnie! I’m so glad you love this lil au <3 going to write some fluffier drabbles cuz I’m also in my feels lately. lil drabble below

The silence was different this time. It wasn’t the quiet comfort you had grown used to since Max became a presence in your life—it was hollow, empty. Usually, even in the stillest moments, you could feel him lingering, his energy humming softly through the air, a constant awareness that he was there, always watching, always listening. But now?

Now, the air felt cold in an uncomfortable way.

You still felt something—his presence hadn’t disappeared, but it was distant, dulled by the heavy weight of your anger. Or maybe it was his anger, too.

The argument had started over something stupid. A careless comment, a teasing remark from Max that had hit a nerve when it wasn’t supposed to. Maybe it had been a bad day, maybe you had been stressed, but the irritation had flared too quickly, your words snapping sharper than intended. And then Max—prideful, stubborn Max—hadn’t let it go. He had pushed back, and before you knew it, you were fighting over things neither of you had meant to say.

“You don’t get it, Max,” you had spat, arms crossed, voice shaking.

“Oh, because I’m dead?” he had shot back through the spirit box, static crackling through his words, his tone biting. “That’s your excuse?”

You had wanted to scream. Instead, you had reached over and shut off the only form of verbal communication you had with him.

The silence that followed was deafening.

For the first day, neither of you tried to fix it. You ignored him because you were still angry, and Max—well, he had no way of talking to you, so why would he bother? If anything, it felt like a standstill, both of you too prideful to make the first move.

But then, the ache and longing began to settle in.

Max hadn’t realized how much he needed to talk to you until he couldn’t. At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. He told himself it didn’t matter that you couldn’t hear him. He still spoke—jokes, dry remarks, muttered comments when you cracked open yet another energy drink—but it went unheard. No reaction or responses from you. It felt wrong.

The silence stretched longer, and something in him itched with the need to break it.

But he couldn’t do so verbally. Instead, he did things.

The next morning, you woke up groggy, exhausted from a restless sleep. You dragged yourself to the kitchen only to find a steaming cup of coffee waiting for you on the counter, the sugar and cream swirled in exactly the way you liked. Your hand hovered over it for a second, heart clenching at the sight, before you scoffed to yourself and turned away.

The day after, you noticed the house was tidier than usual. The couch blanket had been folded neatly, pillows fluffed in a way you never bothered to do. The floor—was it cleaner? You weren’t sure, but something felt different. Still, you ignored it, pushing the thought away before it could settle too deeply in your chest.

Then, the kitchen.

You had left dishes in the sink from the night before, too tired to deal with them. But when you stepped into the kitchen that morning, they were gone. Clean. Dry. Put away. You gripped the edge of the counter, staring at the empty sink like it had personally offended you.

“Max,” you muttered under your breath, your voice softer than before.

That evening, you found dinner waiting for you.

It wasn’t anything fancy—a simple dish, something you would have made for yourself on an easy night—but it was warm, plated carefully, waiting on the dining table. The chair was slightly pulled out, like an unspoken invitation.

You swallowed hard, staring at it for a long time, fingers twitching at your sides.

Your resolve wavered. You had spent the days determined to ignore him, convincing yourself that turning off the spirit box was justified. When you had reached for the switch, silencing him completely, you thought you had won.

But now, standing before this quiet gesture, it didn’t feel like winning.

You sat down hesitantly, the air around you charged with the unmistakable weight of his presence. You could almost feel him watching, waiting. Each bite was a painful reminder of your argument. But you imagined the way he must have lingered in the kitchen, moving unseen, focused on preparing something just for you. It was familiar, comforting, and undeniably him.

After finishing, you pushed the plate aside and sighed, rubbing your temples. “Damn you, Max,” you muttered under your breath, knowing full well he could hear you.

But when you passed by the fridge, your resolve shattered, replacing the remnants of anger with longing.

You stopped in your tracks, stomach tightening as you took in the magnets—letters you didn’t even remember having, rearranged into something unmistakable.

Please talk to me

Your breath caught, a lump forming in your throat. You reached out, fingertips brushing over the letters like they might disappear. It was desperate. Messy. A plea.

You could almost hear him, the way he’d say it if he could, voice rough, maybe even a little strained.

Your chest ached.

With a deep breath, you turned, walked to the living room, and flicked the switch on the spirit box.

Static filled the room, a familiar hum cutting through the heavy silence. And then—his voice, distorted but clear, breaking through like a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was rough, distorted through the static, but the emotion in it was unmistakable.

Your throat tightened.

“…You really swept the floor to get my attention?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

A pause.

“Yeah. It was awful. I’m never doing that again.”

The laugh that bubbled out of you was instant, breaking the tension in your chest. You hadn’t even realized how much you missed hearing him until now. Until this moment.

You exhaled shakily, resting your hand on the couch for support. “I’m sorry,” you admitted quietly.

The static shifted, almost like a sigh before he spoke again, “please don’t do that again.”

want more ghost!max? send me an ask with your thoughts—filthy or not—and I’d love to write you a little drabble <3

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the-winter-spider · 3 months ago

Text

The Alchemy | Part 5

NFL!Bucky x Reader AU

Word Count: 5k

Warning: Angst, toxic relationship, manipulation

A/N: Im sorry in trying my best, mental health is just a bitch. Once again i dont know shit about football or the NFL LOL I'm an NHL girly but here we are so if i get terms and shit wrong its ok cuz its a fan fic 🤣🤣

Masterpost

----

The party was in full swing by the time you and Bucky arrived—packed with sweaty, overhyped teenagers celebrating the team’s win, red plastic cups littering every surface, the air thick with cheap beer and bad decisions. Someone had strung up white Christmas lights around the backyard, giving the whole place a soft glow, but it did nothing to cut through the chaos.

You weren’t even sure who actually lived here, just that it was a senior with rich parents who conveniently weren’t home, and that half the damn school had shown up to celebrate.

The music pulsed through your chest, bass-heavy and a little too loud, but it didn’t matter. Because Bucky was there, pressed close as he navigated you through the swarm of people like he always did, one hand grazing the small of your back, the other lifting in a lazy wave whenever a teammate shouted his name.

“Stay put,” he murmured near your ear once you’d finally managed to carve out a small space near the bonfire. “I’ll grab us a drink.”

You nodded, watching as he disappeared into the crowd.

The night was warm, the heat of the fire licking at your skin. You weren’t fully relaxed, there was something about nights like these, about parties, about being surrounded by people who were too drunk to notice if something went wrong, but Bucky made it better. He always did.

A few minutes later, he returned, grinning as he held out a red cup. “Here, got you something good.”

The second you caught the scent, rich, smoky, unmistakable—your stomach twisted.

Whiskey.

The smell hit you like a punch to the gut, sharp and suffocating, dragging you back to memories you wanted buried. The way the bottle slammed onto the counter. The way his words slurred together, thick with anger. The way your mother sat frozen at the table, staring at the wall, waiting for it to pass.

Your fingers curled into your palm. “I—I can’t drink that.”

Bucky frowned, holding it out a little more. “What? Since when does my girl turn down a drink?”

Your throat tightened. “Just… not whiskey.”

He opened his mouth, probably to make some joke about you being picky but then, you saw it. The exact second he realized.

His entire body stiffened, his eyes widening just slightly before flickering with something heavy. His grip on the cup faltered. “Oh, fuck.” His voice was barely above a whisper, rough with something close to regret. “Shit, I—I’m sorry.”

You shook your head quickly, forcing a small, tight smile. “Bucky, it’s not a big deal.”

“The hell it’s not,” he muttered, setting the cup down so fast it nearly toppled over. “Stay here, I’ll be right back….again.”

You watched as he vanished again, weaving back through the house, his shoulders tense.

For some reason, your chest ached.

You hadn’t expected him to care so much. It was just a drink. Just a stupid drink at a stupid party. But Bucky had looked at you like he’d failed you somehow..

When he returned, he had two cold beers in his hands. He pressed one into yours before cracking open his own, exhaling sharply like he was only just allowing himself to relax.

“I feel like an idiot,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I should’ve remembered.”

“Bucky, it’s an insignificant thing, it’s really not—”

He cut you off before you could downplay it again. “Nothing about you is insignificant, okay? Nothing.” His blue eyes burned with sincerity, sharp and unshakable. “The stuff that matters to you? It matters to me too. And I’m sorry I forgot.”

Your heart squeezed.

You weren’t used to people treating you like this—like your pain was valid, like your boundaries mattered, like your past wasn’t something to be brushed aside.

But Bucky always had.

He always would. You’re sure of it.

You swallowed hard, a small, grateful smile tugging at your lips. “Thank you,” you murmured. “For always being there for me.”

“Always” He whispered, a slight crack in his voice.

For a moment, neither of you moved. The chaos of the party faded into the background, leaving just the two of you in the flickering firelight, beer bottles hanging loosely in your hands.

He was close..so close, the space between you shrinking with every unspoken word. His gaze flickered to your lips, just for a second, before his tongue darted out to wet his own.

Your pulse hammered. Finally, you thought.

And then…

“BUCKY, MY MAN!”

The moment shattered.

A loud, drunken whoop cut through the night, and then, suddenly, the entire football team was descending on him, dragging him into their celebration, slapping his back, shoving beer into his free hand.

You took a step back, your breath still caught in your throat.

Bucky’s eyes snapped to yours, something like frustration flashing across his face, like he knew what had almost happened, what finally, almost happened, like he wanted to go back but then someone was lifting him onto their shoulders, chanting his name, and he was forced to tear his gaze away.

And just like that, the moment was gone.

You let out a quiet breath, tilting your beer back and swallowing the lump in your throat.

Maybe it was for the best.

Maybe it was a sign you were meant to just be friends. To always be just friends.

-----

The hallway outside your hotel room was quiet, save for the occasional distant voices of players passing through, all heading somewhere to celebrate the win. You stood there, arms wrapped around yourself, shifting your weight from foot to foot as you waited for John. The nerves sitting heavy in your stomach weren’t from excitement—weren’t from the anticipation of a night out, a rare moment to unwind after the intensity of the season’s start. No, this feeling was something else.

You knew what kind of night this would be before it even started. Because you knew John, and the thought of Bucky and him at the same table left you anxious.

John was already running late, and you were left alone with your thoughts, the seconds stretching into minutes, making you hyper-aware of everything—the way your dress felt too tight around your ribs, the way your pulse thrummed a little too fast.

Then, a voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“You okay?”

You turned slightly to see Bucky standing a few feet away, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, his expression unreadable.

You nodded quickly, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. Just waiting on John.”

His eyes flickered with something, something you couldn’t quite place. He didn’t say anything right away, just studied you for a moment longer. And for a second, you wondered if he could see it, the way your hands clenched the fabric of your dress at your sides, the way your shoulders were drawn just a little too tight. He use to be able to.

But before either of you could say anything more, the hotel door swung open behind you.

John stepped out, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket, his phone in one hand. He barely spared you a glance before looking past you to Bucky.

“Barnes,” he said smoothly.

Bucky gave him a nod, expression still unreadable. “Walker.”

John’s hand found the small of your back, the touch firm, more like a warning than anything else. “We’ll see you guys there,” he said, already steering you down the hallway.

Bucky didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. You could feel his eyes on you, lingering even as you walked away.

The ride to the restaurant was silent at first, the only sound coming from the hum of the engine and the occasional ding of John’s phone as he scrolled through messages. You kept your hands clasped in your lap, your fingers digging into your palm to keep them steady.

Then, he spoke.

“Do not embarrass me tonight.”

You blinked, your breath catching slightly. “What?”

John didn’t look up from his phone. “These guys? They’re not just players. They have influence. And if you make me look bad in front of them—” He finally turned his gaze on you, a tight smile pulling at his lips. “Well, let’s not make this difficult, okay?”

You nodded automatically, your throat tightening.

He sighed, shaking his head as he leaned back against the seat. “Just smile, laugh at my jokes. And don’t go on and on about your stupid media stuff, alright? Trust me they don’t give a shit, they’re just playing nice because you used to be friends with Barnes.”

Used to

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to look out the window as the city lights blurred past.

It was funny, in a cruel sort of way. You were finally in a place where you felt like you belonged, like you were good at something, and yet John had a way of making it feel so…insignificant. Like you were just playing pretend. And you knew he was right, they were some of the best players in the league getting paid millions of dollars. Why the hell would they care about you and your stupid job that you apparently didn't even earn on your own. And Bucky… well you didn’t even wanna get started on that because you knew deep down you weren't good enough for him then you certainly not good enough for him now. Friends or not.

By the time you pulled up to the restaurant, the unease had settled deep in your chest.

The restaurant hummed with warm, low chatter, the golden glow of the dimmed lights casting soft shadows against the walls. The air still carried the lingering buzz of victory, the easy energy of a team celebrating a job well done. The conversation around the table flowed effortlessly—teammates recounting plays, exchanging banter, trading inside jokes.

You sat between John and Sam, fingers curled around the napkin in your lap, trying to keep yourself grounded. Across from you, Bucky sat quietly, his beer untouched in front of him, blue eyes scanning the table. He wasn’t withdrawn, exactly, but he was watching. Observing.

John, on the other hand, was in his element. Effortlessly inserting himself into conversations, charming everyone around him, laughing at just the right moments. It was all so natural, so perfectly performed, and it made your stomach churn.

The waiter arrived, taking orders, and when he got to you, John barely hesitated before speaking.

“She’ll have an Old Fashioned,” he said smoothly, handing the menu back without looking at you.

You stiffened.

You hated Old Fashioneds. You hated Whiskey, its what your Dad use to drink.

It was such a small thing. Such a stupid, insignificant thing. But the way he did it, so carelessly, so decisively, without even glancing at you, made something burn in your chest.

For a second, you thought about correcting him. Thought about forcing your voice through the thick silence building in your throat. But before you could, his hand slid onto your thigh under the table, fingers pressing firm. Not quite enough to hurt. Just enough to remind you.

You stayed quiet.

When your gaze lifted, Bucky was already watching.

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. But the look in his eyes made your skin feel too tight, like he saw right through you. Like he was remembering something.

And maybe he was.

The moment passed, lost in the clatter of silverware, in the swell of voices as the team kept talking.

“So, John,” Steve said, glancing at him. “What do you do?”

John leaned back slightly, his arm still draped over the back of your chair like he belonged there. “I do some PR work behind the scenes,” he said easily. “NFL branding initiatives, helping coordinate events, stuff like that.”

Helping coordinate events. That was generous. You knew damn well he barely lifted a finger. He had a title, sure—something vague that let him slip into rooms he didn’t belong in—but his name, his father, were what carried the real weight.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “And your dad? He’s still high up in the league, right?”

John grinned. “Oh yeah. He’s got his hands in just about everything. Any major decision in the league, you can bet he’s a part of it.”

Sam let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Damn. No wonder you’re so connected.”

John just laughed. “Exactly. Connections are everything in this business. It’s all about who you know.”

He said it so smoothly, like it was just an offhand comment, like it wasn’t meant to cut. But then—

“That’s actually how Y/N got this job, you know.”

Your stomach dropped.

He said it like it was nothing. Like it was casual. Like it wasn’t a grenade he’d just thrown into the middle of the table.

John chuckled, nudging your side. “She’s so damn stubborn—wanted to do everything on her own. Thought she could earn it on her own. But hey, I put in a good word, made sure the right people saw her résumé.”

Silence.

You thought you might be sick.

With the boys that heard, with Bucky thinking you didn’t earn this job, didn’t deserve this job. You felt small, embarrassed. You felt all the colour drain from your face as you took in a sharp inhale.

And from the way Bucky’s jaw tensed slightly, from the way his fingers curled around his beer glass, you knew he was biting back from saying something.

The noise of the restaurant pressed in around you, but everything felt muted, far away. Your hands clenched in your lap, nails digging into your palms as you stared at the flickering candle in the center of the table, trying to keep your face neutral.

Then—

“Doesn’t matter how she got the job,” Sam said suddenly, his voice easy but firm. “Girl’s talented as hell. Deserves it.”

You looked up, surprised.

He was grinning at you, all warmth and confidence, like he hadn’t just rescued you from drowning. And you couldn’t help it—you smiled back, your chest loosening just a little.

But the moment was short-lived. It always was.

John’s hand tightened around your thigh in a sharp, quick squeeze. Not enough to draw attention. Just enough for you to feel it.

“Of course, my girl deserves the world,” he said smoothly, giving you a kiss on the temple before sitting back like he hadn’t just staked a claim.

Bucky was still watching.

Still quiet.

And then John, ever the performer, turned back to the conversation with a smirk. “So, Barnes,” he started, picking up his beer. “You knew Y/N back in what was it again? High school, huh?”

“Our whole childhood.” Bucky’s gaze flicked from you to John, his face unreadable. “But yeah.”

John laughed, shaking his head as he gave you another playful squeeze. “Bet she was a handful back then, huh? Like she is now?”

You forced a small, tight smile, but the grip on your thigh burned.

Bucky didn’t take the bait.

His voice was steady, even, when he finally spoke.

“I could never think that of her.”

The air at the table shifted. It was subtle, but it was there, the tension threading through the conversation like an undercurrent, pulling tighter with every second that passed.

Bucky’s voice was steady, even—but beneath it, there was an unmistakable edge, something sharp and unyielding. His blue eyes never wavered from John’s, locking him in place. And for the first time that night, John hesitated. Just for a second.

You had never seen him hesitate before. It wasn’t in his nature. He was used to having everything handed to him, power, privilege, even respect, whether he earned it or not.

Then, he let out an easy chuckle, leaning back in his chair like he hadn’t noticed the shift in energy. “That so?” He took a slow sip of his beer before glancing at you, his smirk returning. “You must’ve had him wrapped around your finger then, huh?”

Your stomach twisted.

You knew what he was doing. The fake charm, the lighthearted jabs that were never actually lighthearted. The way he was always trying to remind you, to remind everyone, that you were his.

Before you could say anything, Bucky leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on the table.

“She wasn’t like that,” he said, his voice calm but deliberate. “She didn’t take advantage of people.”

John’s smirk didn’t falter, but you felt his fingers press a little harder against your thigh.

“No?” he said smoothly. “Guess she’s changed, then.”

The words were coated in something...something that made your chest tighten, something that made Bucky’s fingers flex around his glass.

Your pulse pounded in your ears.

Steve cleared his throat, shifting slightly in his seat. Sam, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, glanced between John and Bucky, lips pressing into a thin line. The energy around the table felt like a slow-building storm, quiet but electric.

John exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “Relax, Barnes,” he said, his voice light, but the way he said Bucky’s name, like it was a joke, like it was something he didn’t take seriously—made your stomach drop.

Bucky didn’t move, didn’t flinch.

But something in his expression changed.

His blue eyes darkened, his jaw tightening slightly, and you could see the muscle feather under his skin.

It wasn’t that Bucky had a short temper. He didn’t. But there were certain things that got under his skin, certain buttons that could be pushed just enough to break that infamous restraint of his.

And John was pushing them.

Hard.

“I’m relaxed,” Bucky said evenly, voice slow and measured. But the way he was gripping the glass in his hand told you otherwise.

John chuckled again, but it was forced this time.

“You know,” he mused, tilting his head, “I always wondered what it would be like, growing up with her. Bet she was always the center of attention, huh?” His grip on your leg tightened as he glanced at you, his tone deliberately playful but edged with something sharper. “She loves that, doesn’t she?”

It was a test. A warning. A reminder.

And Bucky knew it. You knew it.

His expression didn’t change, but his shoulders tensed just, the way they always did when he was holding himself back.

“She deserves attention,” Bucky said, voice low, the weight of it settling heavily between them. “The right kind.”

The implication was there, clear as day.

John’s fingers twitched against your thigh.

That got John’s attention. John for the first time that night, he finally looked Bucky directly in the eye.

The fake smile was gone.

The air felt thick, suffocating, like something was teetering on the edge of breaking.

You swallowed hard, your heart hammering against your ribs.

John stared at Bucky for a long moment, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes. Then, just as quickly as it had shifted, he leaned back again, his smirk sliding back into place like nothing had happened.

He let out another laugh, shaking his head. “Man, you must really got it bad, don’t you?”

Bucky didn’t react.

Didn’t blink.

Didn’t move.

It was unbearable. You couldn't even hear the chatter from the other side of the table anymore, you couldn't hear the loud music, you could only hear the blood in your ears and the thumping of your heart.

Then, finally, John exhaled, giving your leg one last, sharp squeeze before finally pulling his hand away.

When Bucky didn’t give him a response of any kind he kept going. “Well,” he said smoothly, throwing an arm over your shoulder, “I don’t blame you. She’s something else, huh?”

His lips pressed against your temple, but his grip on your shoulder was firm, and when you instinctively glanced at Bucky again, his jaw was clenched so tightly you thought he might crack a tooth.

The moment hung there, heavy, stretching impossibly long.

The tension at the table was suffocating now, pressing down on you like a weight you couldn’t shake.

You could feel Bucky’s stare—burning, unwavering—but you refused to look back at him. You couldn’t. Because if you did, you weren’t sure what you’d see in his expression.

Anger?

Regret?

Something worse?

John, on the other hand, was thriving in it. You could tell by the way he leaned back casually in his chair, the way he sipped his drink like he wasn’t winding up for another hit.

You were hoping that someone else would say something. Maybe the waiter would come back and interrupt the moment. You were hoping that even maybe Bucky would finally respond and give him what he wants so this could just all stop. But he didn't, so John didn't stop.

And then, just as you feared, he took his shot. He was trying so desperately to get anything out of Bucky.

“You know, Barnes,” John mused, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, “I gotta say, man, I don’t know how you missed out on this.”

Your stomach dropped.

You knew what was coming before he even said it.

John turned his head, his lips grazing your ear as he squeezed your thigh beneath the table. “She looks even better without clothes on,” he said, low enough that only Bucky, and maybe Sam, could hear. “Seriously. Something must be wrong with you.”

A cold chill ran through your spine.

Bucky went completely still. His fingers no longer flexing on the glass.

It felt like the world had stopped moving.

John grinned, leaning back again. “So tell me, Buck—what exactly did you do wrong to never get your shot?” He raised an eyebrow mockingly. “Didn’t have the balls to go for it?”

Sam shifted beside you, his posture stiffening. You weren’t sure if it was because of what John had said or because of the way Bucky was looking at him now, like a predator sizing up its prey. Bucky was letting him dig his own hole and he wanted so badly to bury him in it.

Then John’s smirk widened. He wasn’t done yet. He never was.

“Oh wait,” he said, snapping his fingers in faux realization. “Don’t answer that, you probably think you didn’t do anything wrong, huh? You just—what was it again?” He turned to you, pretending to think. “Oh, right. You completely cut her off when she told you she was moving. How pathetic is that?”

A sharp pain bloomed in your chest.

Bucky’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t say a word.

John laughed under his breath, taking another sip of his drink before delivering the final blow.

“And then you never even called her when she lost both her parents,” he added, shaking his head. “Not one but two! Damn, man. I mean, I’d say what kind of friend are you? but…” He shrugged. “You guys aren’t friends anymore, right? You made sure of that.”

Silence.

Pure, deafening silence.

Your heart was in your throat.

John’s words hung in the air like poison, thick and suffocating. The weight of them settled over the table, pressing down like a storm cloud about to break.

No one moved.

No one spoke.

And then—

Bucky finally blinked. He took a sip of his beer.

Slowly, he set his drink down on the table with a deliberate clink.

His knuckles were white against the glass.

His shoulders rose and fell in a slow, measured breath.

But when he lifted his eyes to John, there was nothing playful in them. No amusement. No restraint.

Just ice.

And something dangerous.

Your pulse hammered against your ribs.

John, for the second time that night, hesitated.

It was barely noticeable—a small twitch of his fingers, the slightest flicker of uncertainty behind his smirk.

But Bucky saw it.

You knew Bucky saw it.

And you thought he was going to hit him. That he was going to lunge across the table. A part of you wanted him to.

The tension stretched impossibly thin, so thick it was hard to breathe.

Then..

“Buck,” Steve said, his voice low. A warning.

Bucky didn’t look at him. Didn’t move. Didn’t even blink.

He just stared.

And somehow, somehow—that was worse.

Sam exhaled slowly, shaking his head. “Man, you’re really pushing your luck tonight,” he muttered under his breath, reaching for his drink trying to ease the tension.

John chuckled again, but it wasn’t as effortless this time. He clapped a hand on your thigh one more time before finally leaning back, his smirk settling back into place.

His jaw was tight, his grip on his glass even tighter, but his eyes—his eyes—were locked onto John like he was seconds away from standing up and putting him through the damn table.

Your heart pounded so hard it hurt.

You weren’t sure if you were more afraid of what John would say next or what Bucky would do in response. Either way, the air felt charged, volatile, like something was going to snap.

And then, Bucky’s gaze flickered, just for a second, to you.

He saw the look on your face.

The way your fingers were curled into your lap, nails pressing deep into your skin.

The silent plea in your eyes.

And just like that, the tension in his shoulders dropped just slightly, the fire in his expression dimming just enough to see you.

You swallowed thickly, turning to John who was opening his mouth, again. Dragging in a shaky breath before reaching out, your fingers wrapping around John’s forearm.

“Stop,” you said quietly.

John barely glanced at you. “Stop what?”

You squeezed a little tighter. “John,” you said, your voice lower now, more desperate. “Stop this.”

John finally looked at you then, turning his body toward you slightly, his eyes narrowing. His smirk was gone. In its place, something colder, something more dangerous.

“I wanna hear you say it,” he murmured, his voice a quiet taunt. “Come on, honey. Where are your manners?”

You stiffened.

John tilted his head, his smirk returning. “Say it nicely,” he pressed, his fingers ghosting over your thigh under the table. “Try ‘please stop, John’.”

The words stuck in your throat.

The way he was looking at you, so smug, so in control, made you feel sick. You hated how easily he could do this, how effortlessly he could turn your voice into something that barely belonged to you anymore.

Your lips parted, just barely, ready to force the words out—

And then Bucky’s voice cut through the air.

“Don’t.”

John’s head snapped up, his entire body going rigid.

Slowly, his eyes narrowed. “Are you telling my girl what to do?”

That was it.

The final line drawn in the sand.

Before anyone could say another word, Steve pushed his chair back with enough force to make it scrape against the floor. His tone was sharp, decisive. Done.

“Okay,” Steve said firmly. “That’s enough. I don’t know what’s going on here, but this—” He gestured between Bucky and John. “—is not happening. Not tonight.”

Bucky didn’t move.

Didn’t take his eyes off John.

Didn’t blink.

Steve exhaled sharply before turning to Bucky. “Buck, let’s go.”

Bucky didn’t respond, not right away. You could see the war in his expression, the sheer force of restraint it took for him to tear his gaze away from John.

But when he finally did, when his blue eyes landed on you again, his expression softened in a way that made your chest ache.

He wasn’t just looking at you. He was asking.

Are you going to be okay?

You wanted to answer.

Wanted to say yes.

Wanted to say no.

Wanted to say please don’t go.

But the words wouldn’t come.

Instead, you looked down.

Bucky’s jaw tightened again, but he didn’t push it.

He just let out a slow, measured breath before finally stepping away from the table.

Steve followed.

A few of the other players, ones who had been too far away to hear what had really gone down, called out casual goodbyes, still laughing about something completely unrelated. They had no idea.

And then, just like that, Bucky was gone.

John exhaled through his nose, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe the audacity. Then, without another glance at you, he pulled his arm from your grip and stood, scooting down the table to where some of the other guys sat.

Like nothing had happened.

Like you weren’t even there.

Laughter bubbled from the other side of the table, casual, easygoing.

Meanwhile, on your side, it was just you and Sam.

The silence between you was suffocating.

You swallowed hard, staring at the candle in the middle of the table like it might give you some kind of answer, some kind of out.

And then, barely above a whisper you spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Sam frowned. “I can’t stress this enough, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

Your throat tightened. You blinked rapidly, a single tear slipping free before you could stop it. You wiped it away quickly, but Sam saw.

He saw.

And he didn’t look away.

For a few more seconds, you just sat there, staring at nothing, the weight in your chest making it hard to breathe. Then, suddenly, the air in the restaurant felt like too much, too hot, too stifling, too heavy.

“I’m gonna head back to the hotel,” you said abruptly, pushing your chair back.

John’s head snapped up immediately. “What?”

You turned to him. “I’m tired. I think I’ll just head back early.”

John frowned, standing before you could even move. He grabbed your wrist, hard, his fingers pressing into your skin in a way that made you flinch.

“You going by yourself?” he asked, voice low.

Sam saw.

His entire body went stiff beside you.

“I figured you wanted to stay, don’t you?” you asked John carefully, testing the waters.

John let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as he finally, finally, released his grip. “Of course I do,” he said smoothly, gesturing toward his teammates. “I’m here with my buddies.”

The guys around him laughed, completely oblivious to the way the moment had just unfolded.

John turned back to you, smirking. “Wait up for me?”

You nodded mechanically. “Of course.”

His smirk widened. “That’s my girl.”

And then, without warning, he yanked you down, crushing his lips to yours.

It wasn’t a kiss.

It was a claim.

A reminder.

It was too much, too hard, too aggressive, too something but you let him do it anyway. You always did.

When he finally pulled away, he flashed you one last smile before smacking your ass, earning a laugh from the other guys and turning back to the conversation like nothing had happened.

Like he hadn’t just bruised your wrist.

Like he hadn’t just stolen the air from your lungs.

Like he hadn’t just won.

You swallowed hard, forcing your feet to move, forcing yourself to leave before you made the mistake of looking back.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky banres #james bucky barnes

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mixingandmelting · 3 months ago

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hey so how do you think Dick Grayson would deal with him not liking his s/o has a list of 2d men they’d commit to life too and he doesn’t like it, like your post, but then his s/o hard laughs cuz he’s getting so upset and trying to one up the 2d men, and s/o points out “oh my gosh. You don’t see it do you? You and these 2d men are similar to each other”? (Think Vash the stampede or Nightcrawler from marvel comics, any others things you can think of).

“No.”

He stubbornly stands by his verdict. Didn’t matter he watched fourteen plus hours of movies and TV series with you and enjoyed it. Nor reading through and getting engrossed with the comics. He’s nothing like Matt Murdock and Matt Murdock is nothing like him. There are so many things that are different between him and the character that he doesn’t know where to start.

Like, listen. He’s faster, stronger, better, and prettier than the other. He’s been in the business way longer, since he was eight mind you, that he’s obligated to go “pro reacts to [x]” and analyze everything Daredevil does in every crime fighting scene. Gingers are so last year, this year black hair is making a comeback. Plus, on top of all that, he’s much cooler and has a better taste in people. Exhibit A: you, the most perfect person in the whole universe and his one and only love.

“You do realize he’s not real.” You raise an eyebrow, though your smile doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Exactly. I am and he’s not. Therefore,” he exaggeratedly waves his hand towards himself, “why need him when you can have a real-life package right here and now?”

He huffs, not appreciating the sight of you shaking your head in disbelief. What is it the other has that he doesn’t? He’s a vigilante. He’s got the face and body. Is it because he’s real and not a fictional character? Fine then.

“Well, then is it him or me?”

“Oh my- You can’t be serious.” You bet he’s serious when he harrumphs and turns his head away. Cheeks puffed, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed- he has no intention of letting up his tantrum until you tell him your answer. The right answer.

He starts to frown when he hears you sigh, offended by it. Excuse you but what do you think you’re doing? Here he is, bothered over some 2D man and you’re exasperated? Just what- oh. Suddenly, your lips are on his cheek, your hands on his arm for leverage.

“Why are you getting jealous over a guy I treat as unreal when you’re the only one I would kiss, hug, and love like this?”

“...Even simping?”

You blink. “Since when did you know that word- actually. Nevermind. Yes, you’re the only person I genuinely simp in both reality and fictionally.”

There and then, he picks you up and hauls you over his shoulder.

“Dick? Dick!? What are you doing!?”

With a happy, silly grin on his face, he merely replies with “bedroom”. Though he makes a note in the back of his head to ask afterwards about having his merch since from the sounds of you, it seems like you do but of what he’s more curious about.

#dick grayson #nightwing #dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader

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jywllkr · 14 days ago

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DR S3 P2 LEAKS

a long analysis about Jay's character. w/pictures

this is going to be a bit messy cuz english isn't my first language,,, but fuck thattt.

what irks me about that last Jaya scene from the leaks is when Nya told Jay she thought she saw his old self—and that she was wrong

knowing the fact she doesn’t even know what happened to him after the Merge, or what he went through before he shattered whatever was left of his goodness, all while dealing with amnesia alone

we can all agree on how the way the ninja, Nya and Lloyd in this case, keep trying to shove the image of who Jay used to be onto someone who’s clearly not himself anymore,,,it's just a bad move overall

We still don’t know why Jay left the Administration. he didn’t just leave, he escaped

the thing about the Administration is that;

the Administration knew who Jay is on a personal level (they were searching for him specifically)

Jay doesn’t want anyone there knowing he’s the elemental master of lightning

and then he was clearly upset with the Administration right after he wasn't involved with them too

Jay is absolutely sure that the Administration, the one he naively trusted at first, lied about something. lied to such a degree that he was visibly upset. and another thing we know about his state during his time there, according to Bonzle, is that his heart just wasn’t really in it

that already tells us a lot about Jay’s position here. remember, he still had his goodness during all of this. the fact that he left must mean he found out the Administration was doing something seriously wrong, and he didn’t want to be a part of it

then Ras came along, again, during the time Jay still had his goodness. Jay genuinely thought Ras was a good guy and ended up believing the Ninja weren’t thanks to his manipulation

now that he left Ras shattered and betrayed, he probably stopped believing there’s any good in people at all. add some major trust issues into the mix

and as far as the lore of this franchise goes, one of Jay’s core traits is that he dislike lying—especially after Season 6. bro literally judged Nya for telling a white lie to Arin’s parents.

I’m kinda guessing here, but Jay’s probably testing the waters with Nya and the rest of the ninja, trying to figure out whether they’re actually safe to trust or not

So far, he’s been extremely blunt about what he thinks,,,he doesn’t exactly lie to the ninja. despite how mean sounding most of them are, Jay is just being bluntly honest

It’s sad to see this “silly” scene on its own, because Jay genuinely believes he never had any goodness to begin with

probably because his first memory was working in the Administration, a place he ended up escaping from for some unknown or bad reason, and he was stuck there for who knows how long

and also because he trusted Ras. the guy he thought was a good person/better than the administration

So, a little conclusion: the obvious reason why Jay only thinks about himself and not others right now is because this kind of thing has happened to him way too often

If he’s going to lean on other people, he needs to see two things

that they’re being truthful

that they’re not trying to force him into being someone he’s not

and as of now, the ninja fail both of those checks—so Jay’s nowhere near ready to believe in them

a little thing I wanted to point out too,,,,Jay left the group right after they were at the Spectral Land’s Monastery. It’s pretty odd because he could’ve left when they were waiting for Sora and Arin to come back from the junkyard. but he didn’t

the reason he probably stayed with them was just to make sure they arrived there safely, knowing how dangerous that place is. and why he wants to go there willingly?

he probably wants to see some truth from the ninja themselves when he’s not involved with them (since we’re all guessing this is Jay following Nya in this scene)

and he might be picking Nya because he’s drawn to her the most, even if he realize it or not

last but not least

I couldn’t stop thinking about this one scene from episode 3 because it went straight to Jay’s picture (who ironically enough is the only one smiling in the picture) when she explained the main core of the ninja. being selfless and caring about people

it was all now shown in the series that Jay’s core personality is still there despite being shattered. being absolutely terrible at jokes and playing video games are two of them

so the question is,,, is there more to Jay that we haven’t seen yet?

POINTS THE OBVIOUS 👆

oh also. this part??? I bet you is a foreshadow

anyways yea,,, sorry if my writing's hard to digest. I'm no writer or whatever, but I need to yap about this

#this is extremely long that's why im putting pictures so it's easier to read #Im bad at responding btw #but I want yalls opinion about this #tehee #ninjago #jay #dragons rising #jayposting #ninjago spoilers #dragons rising spoilers #ramble.txt #ninjago leaks

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r--kt · 1 year ago

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Where actually was this betrayal line for Obito that Kakashi had crossed?

about the whole "anyone got Kakashi, but not Obito" thing that @komihoyinsblog said. I remembered where the culmination of this theme was. no, like, this whole topic is real!

let's talk about the scene after when Jubito was defeated. here I will analyse kkobkk relationships and Obito's arc specifically.

contents | context · meaning of the scene · where's a mistake and where's a betrayal

CH. 655

Context

during the battle with the shinobi alliance, Obito came face to face with a deeply repressed desire for another life, which he did not realize due to his position as the only one who can fulfill the tsukuyomi plan. the battle itself as well as the conversation with Naruto reminds Obito of the aspirations and values dear to him that he had to sacrifice. all this has noticeably hit Obito and now he is disarmed and stripped of his armor, which is metaphorically reflected in his half-naked body (and cuz fans love men's boobs).

CH. 652. god, look how happy he is, I'm sobbing. love the way he never regrets about his scars, they're with him even in his imagination, that's a reminder of his core values.

structurally, in Obito's arc, this scene is the Collapse point and the end of the second act. here, the previous methods (the tsukuyomi plan) have shown their inconsistency, and the goal (peace for everyone and for him, too) has not been achieved, and he must find a new way to achieve this goal. at the beginning of the scene, he is confused, defeated and not ready to face the consequences.

why isn't he ready? he's lying there, seemingly resigned. yeah, not exactly. here, he accepted the impending death, and it's even not bad to die by Kakashi's hand to some extent. another question is, is he ready to talk to him, is he ready to accept the defeat and find the strength to continue the journey?

Meaning of the scene

once again, it is important that the battle with the alliance and the conversation with Naruto influenced Obito, but did not convince him. it was Kakashi who did it.

in fact, this conversation with Kakashi is a crucial reason for Obito to return to his ideals. before that, he was in doubt (the second act is a reflection of the character, as if hesitating from one side to the other), and after that he takes the side of the alliance. what did Kakashi say that made Obito come back?

three questions Obito is asking.

how can you be sure that Naruto won't fail on his way, unlike me? [pic 2, above]

why are you so attached to Naruto, what's the difference between him and me? [pic below]

why are you willing to help him (and not me)? [pic below]

they don't talk about different paths here. Kakashi emphasizes that Obito's path is not exactly wrong, so that's not the deal. it's about Obito and Naruto as people, and, more, about Kakashi's opinion on Obito.

finding out why he is not the one whose path Kakashi is ready to defend is essential for Obito. he wants to understand why Naruto (aka Obito's previous self, too) is closer to him, why Kakashi does not support the actual one for whom he grieved so much. why, even recognizing the possible correctness of tsukuyomi, Kakashi refuses to support Obito in this, prefers to go the same way. and also look at how damn emotional he is at this moment, his feelings go from anger to anxiety in a couple of frames. that's what happened when the central conflict "I'm never good enough to be loved" is raised.

Obito's questions are a subconscious appeal to Kakashi — "why don't you choose me? I could make you happy. what's wrong with me again?!" he thinks that the reason Kakashi doesn't take his side is not because of the correctness of his path, but because of Obito himself. subconsciously, he thinks that it's because of Kakashi's personal dislike of this "new" Obito, and he is very afraid of this might be true. just look at his face at the bottom of the page, he's really worried about hearing Kakashi's answer. oh, and it's actually the same meaning as "I thought, maybe you could love me like you used to, even though I'm different" [ Jinx's quote from Arcane, yes, I like to compare these two sometimes ].

what Kakashi says in this situation means "let me help you." Kakashi said he would be ready to help Obito if he let him in, if he allowed him. this is literally the only condition (which is important to mention here) under which Obito did not pass, because of his desire to reject Kakashi's help, believing that he must put his life on tsukuyomi plan and cut off all ties. but this does not mean that he wanted Kakashi to cut off this tie in return.

Obito was an individualist, and he only scoffed or got angry at Kakashi's offer to help/sympathize. now they're in a situation when Obito finally hear that Kakashi said "you've made mistakes, but that's okay. I can be with you, if you need me to, and I'm okay with you continuing your life and reaching peace. I accept you and I believe in you." and I want you to appreciate that this is the tipping point of Obito's arc.

so, that's why Obito changes his way of acting. Kakashi shows that he accepts Obito the way he is, and thus significantly reduces Obito's need to prove his worth through his own hardships and overcoming difficulties. yes, Kakashi had already said similar things before, and it didn't work, but here this line is resolved precisely because of this deep conversation they had.

Where's a mistake and where's a betrayal

oh, maybe Rin's death was a thing Obito considered a betrayal from Kakashi's part? everything's much less trivial. would he offer to help Kakashi if he thought he was a traitor? and well, he offered.

CH. 630

no, look at his face on the bottom right, why would you say that with such a gentle face to someone you consider a traitor? what is it, a genuine smile? so something happened besides that.

the betrayal was that Kakashi preferred his other ties to the connection with Obito. here, betrayal is not about killing Rin, and not about breaking a promise — all these are mistakes that Obito is able to forgive.

all the moments when Obito says something like "you had the opportunity to kill me, but you didn't do it", "you can't deal with me because of guilt?", "still blaming yourself for the broken promises?" - all this is an attempt to increase his own value, to show the importance of Obito for Kakashi. and it's also a projection. Obito says, "you had so many opportunities to kill me, but you..." although he does the same. like, why would he leave Kakashi alive after the kamui battle? intentionally inflict a non-fatal wound on him and leave him in a dimension that only he and Obito have access to? "I don't care if he's alive or dead," but at every opportunity he chose the option "alive", even if it's less profitable for him. my baby loves to deceive himself so much.

all this time, Obito believed that he was striving for their common dream, and therefore the condemnation from Kakashi (there should be a couple more frames from the manga) feels like the most painful blow for him, especially when Kakashi says that Rin would not want it either. before that, Obito had compared himself and Kakashi a couple of times, put them on an equal footing, and after being rejected by him, that's where Obito feels really lonely.

the point of no return was precisely the fact that Kakashi shows with his own words that he does not accept the current Obito and everything he's been striving for years. all this, taken together, he considered a betrayal, as if he's not enough, as if he fucked everything up again.

therefore, their conflict is resolved by the acceptance of one person by another, this is in fact exactly what Obito's heart wanted — to hear that he could be accepted after all that had happened. the same thing happened after his death, when he finally met Rin, by the way.

hope the text is not that messy. oh, and! that kkob video I've made with mitski's song. this fits the topic so well. love these guys

#obito uchiha #kakashi hatake #naruto shippuden #naruto #kakaobi #obikaka #team minato #kakashi #obito

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jks1uv · 2 months ago

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𝐴 𝑅𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐹𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝐵𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐸𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 ; hal shelburn | one-shot |

summary: hal shelburn is unsure about a lot of things but there’s one thing he’s absolutely sure about; that evil fucking monkey is going down.

pairing: estrangedwife!fem!reader x estrangedhusband!hal shelburn.

trope: devoted man protects his family from evil + exes-ish to lovers.

genre: hurt / comfort + rekindling romance.

warnings‼️: crude language + mentions of violence + a kiss scene + hal’s troubled past.

word count: 1,567.

random disclaimerrr: went to go see The Monkey (2025) yesterday & did i fr write this just bc i wanted to see him be a loyal family man bc i think that’s what he’d thrive for when he got older? yes. yes i did. i was like “proper name, place name, backstory stuff 🫦” the whole movie cuz he’s just so handsome. theo james is so fine y’allll!! 😝🤭 changed the kids name to ‘peter’ bc why not. happy reading! ʕ��ᴥ•ʔ ♡ © 2025 @jks1uv

Hal has always kept to himself, obviously until you.

You caught him by surprise, charmed him in a way that was irresistible.

He found himself stuttering to ask you out. That soon led to his attempts at romance to which you accepted his advances.

Soon, you were married, and it was the happiest day of his life. You were ecstatic but for Hal, it was perhaps the one day where he’d felt true, unfiltered joy.

Of course, nothing lasts forever and he berated himself for forgetting that.

After you were pregnant, he felt an ominous sensation in his stomach. He understood that feeling to be reality settling in when you passed your first trimester.

Your pregnancy was hard but despite Hal’s internal tug-of-war between his heart and mind, he chose you.

Peter was born and Hal held the world in his hands, and he realized the heavy weight it carried.

Hal remembers his father and the curse Bill and he had to endure for a short amount of time. The pain brought on in that short amount of time was enough to be generational.

The last thing Hal wanted to subject his son, his beautiful little family to was generational trauma.

And so, he made like eggs and scrambled. He became distant, cold, mysterious.

You couldn’t recognize this shell of the man you married.

You signed the divorce papers against your hearts will but Hal never did possess the bravery to bring his signature to life onto those papers.

He was more than happy being estranged, because he was still your husband.

Making a deal to see his son and wife once a year wasn’t his best idea but it was his only way of making sure no harm comes to either of you.

Unfortunately, this time around happened to be unlucky. These past few days have been hell.

Your estranged husband rented a motel room to spend the night before continuing the trip he had planned for you and your son. He goes outside to talk to someone on the phone when he sees someone explode by diving into an electrified motel pool.

Hal then abruptly woke you and your son, Peter, to spend the rest of the night at another motel.

Not too long after, a realtor was instantly blown to pieces by a loaded shotgun that was conveniently placed to open fire on whoever would open the closet door. R.I.P. Barbara.

You weren’t oblivious; you picked up on Hal’s body language and facial expressions as soon as he explained what happened to the cops.

His desperation to leave and spend time with you and Peter wasn’t exactly helping his case, either.

Your son was showering which gave you the perfect opportunity to confront your estranged husband.

“I just want you to stop fucking with me.”

He’s heard that tone before but he didn’t tell you then and he won’t tell you now.

Hal sighs, “I already told you, there’s some kind of- a, uh… a curse on my family-”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, bull-fuckin’-shit. Why’d you marry me if you were so cursed?!”

You’ve never done that before.

He turns and looks at you and you see. You see the guilt in his eyes, like he’s sorry he married you. Not in a condescending way, never that; but in a way that is regrettable.

He truly believes he fucked up your life.

He doesn’t say anything for a couple of moments.

You hear the shower running and the bathroom fan on.

He looks away from you, sniffs and clears his throat to hide his embarrassment.

You’ve made him uncomfortable and part of you is satisfied seeing him scramble (pun intended) to give some sort of explanation. Another part of you is regretful.

Why should your satisfaction lie in upsetting him?

The better part of you takes charge. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… for it to come out that way.”

He shakes his head. “No, no, it’s alright. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

He’s sensitive, you know that. You also know he’s hurt but for some reason, he keeps shutting you out.

You stand from the bed and walk to him.

“Don’t shut me out, Hal.” You plead softly.

He stares into your eyes and he’s taken back to when he saw you for the first time. He’s reminded of the strange wave of confidence that washed against the shore of his heart.

Maybe the fear of losing you gnawed at his soul when you walked into his life but he became delusional.

You made him delusional.

You made him think differently, the familiar sound of bell tolls vanished from his mind when he married you. The only sound a bell made to him was that of the chime of wedding bells.

He turned a complete 180 from where he used to be and it’s all because of you.

“I married you because I love you.” He admits.

It’s like a breath of fresh air when he says that, probably because you haven’t heard that from him in a long time.

You’ve been desperate to see him for longer than a weekend but he just wouldn’t allow it. You’ve been craving his touch, his smile. Him, all of him.

“Please, just let me in.” You beg.

Your eyes tear up on their own accord and it breaks his heart.

His resolve is dissolving at the second and he’s afraid you’ll turn him into that lovesick fool he allowed himself to be.

But if he’s being completely honest with himself, his love for you never went away.

Hal cradles your face in his hands like it’s as fragile as glass. His thumbs wipe the tears and softly caress your cheekbones.

“I never lied to you, Y/n.” He murmurs. “My dad… found this monkey and he brought it home for Bill and I.”

You look back and forth between his eyes and it doesn’t take a genius to know he’s telling the truth.

“Long story short, the monkey is evil. It has a key in the back and if you turn it, it’ll kill someone- whoever it chooses.”

“So, a toy monkey is responsible for dooming our marriage and plaguing you with crippling anxiety.”

It’s a fucked up situation to be in but you still manage to make it sound a bit humorous. He cracks a small smile at your summary.

“All but one thing: it’s not a toy, don’t call it that.”

“Right, sorry. I won’t call it a toy.” You blink, amused.

He deeply sighs. “I’m serious, Y/n. It comes with an attached drum set and once the drumstick comes down…” He trails off hoping you’d get it.

“It plays the drum signaling someone’s gonna die?”

“Yes.”

“It’s like Jumanji.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever works best for you.” He holds your shoulders and brings his face closer to you. “Which is why I’ve kept you and Petey away from me for so long. I couldn’t risk anything, I-I couldn’t risk you two.”

His big, brown, glassy eyes beg you for forgiveness silently.

“You could’ve told me.” You slowly reach for his hands and put them down.

“All this time, Hal. All this time, I thought you just didn’t want us anymore-”

He’s offended. “That’s not true-”

You scoff dryly. “And how the fuck was I supposed to know? You just distanced yourself from us and wouldn’t even give me an explanation!”

“I know, I know. But-” He shakily inhales as he can’t hold his tears anymore. “Everything I did, I did it for you and him. Just for you two.”

He sniffles and it makes you want to cry.

“Bill and I threw it down the well but I knew it wouldn’t stay down there forever. I-I fell in love with you and-and it was selfish,”

Hal comes close to you once again, proving how badly he wants nothing but to let you in again.

“But fuck it, I wanted to be selfish just once. Just this once.”

He hesitantly touches your arm. “And I’m sorry for ruining your life-”

If your heart was broken before, it’s fucking squeezing with pain now.

“Hal, don’t say that.”

It’s your turn to wipe his tears. His lashes are wet and his nose is tinged a light red.

“You didn’t ruin my life.” You promise. “You upset me and it was poor communication on your part, but you never ruined it.”

He doesn’t look at you when he nods, still feeling doubtful.

You don’t think about it, and like it’s basic instinct; you tilt his chin up and kiss him.

You just press your lips against his to test the waters but when he pulls back and looks into your eyes, he slowly pulls you in. He kisses you softly, slowly. He’s kissing you and it’s real.

He’s making up for all the times he should’ve been kissing you, for all the years he’s lost by not telling you the truth.

He’s tired of letting his fear hold him back. He’s fed up with that stupid fucking monkey holding him prisoner in a nonexistent cell.

It’s been far too long and he’d be damned if he’d let you slip away again.

Hal’s going to bring an end to this curse once and for all, but for right now; he’s going to kiss you, hold you, and never leave your side.

#the monkey #the monkey 2025 #the monkey movie #theo james #theo james the monkey #hal shelburn #hal shelburn x fem!reader #hal shelburn x reader #hal shelburn x y/n #hal shelburn x you #hal shelburn imagine #hal shelburn one-shot #hal shelburn one shot #hal shelburn fluff #hal shelburn angst #♡ hearts 4 everyone! ♡#s writes!#arifbe

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ooftheartist · 4 months ago

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Tis a question for your dead bot au; would the autobots like, chase after bee after he runs away from them upon realizing that he's alive?

Autobots: BEE?! You're ALIVE-

Bee: (already 10 miles away) who?!

Also what would happen if the relic was taken out of bee? Would he die again? Cuz I was thinking like, if Ghost was still there, they might wanna make a grab since it's not everyday there's something that can uno reverse death

Tbh I didn't even think about what would happen to the relic after it was used to revive Bee, but this question inspired me and I thought of something!

Oh but to answer your first question, yes! The Autobots, if/when they find out he's alive chase after him. But Bee being the scout he is, trained to be the best spy within Autobot ranks, is not easy to track or locate when he doesn't want to be found.

I've seen some people interpret Bee's feelings against the Autobots as anger, him blaming them for what happened to him, but it's more complex than that. He doesn't hate them, he couldn't hate them. They were like family to him. He's hurt, he feels betrayed. Not knowing how to deal with these emotions, and not wanting to confront them, he hides himself from the world and runs the second the Autobots find him.

As for the relic, It became drained of its power after being used to bring Bee back. But the Decepticons don't know that, nor do the Autobots. The very object Bee was killed over was used to bring him back to life.

Spoilers for the fic, The battle Bee was killed in was over the Relic. It had fallen to earth, and the Cons and Autobots detected its presence. (Inspired by the Relics of Iacon in TFP being sent to earth during the war on Cybertron.) After Bee was killed the Autobots couldn't care less about what the Relic could have been, in that moment everything else fell from their minds. The Decepticons got away with the Relic and Bumblebee's life. Breakdown "Borrowed" The relic from the Decepticons in hopes of it being capable of helping Bee. To his luck, it was. After reviving Bee Breakdown returned it to the vault now drained of all power. For all they knew, it was empty when they fought for it.

This AU is set not long after the defeat of GHOST and Mandroid, just to make things more angsty. Everyone, especially the Malto kids, had barely any time to recover mentally before losing Bee.

#transformers #transformers earthspark #bumblebee #earthspark #earthspark bumblebee #transformers bumblebee #tfes breakbee #DBW au #dead bot walking #dead bot walking AU #Tfes au #tfes breakdown #tfes fanfic #I AM WRITING THIS FIC I SWEAR #I WANNA RELEASE TWO CHAPTERS AT ONCE THATS WHY ITS TAKING SO LONG

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riza-jes · 6 months ago

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Part 2: Luffy’s PARENTAL figure — ACE!

I rll wanna continue the thought of Parental Ace

But with more detailes connected with staff of Ace’s being single parent status, who leave his child at home more than less unwillingly.

Like…

He understand completely all these crazy parents who freaking out after one second after realization that they lost their kids in one blink.

Bc with Luffy?

You can’t relax until this child is tired and fed. Bc Luffy always could be caught in trouble. Eaten, beaten, lost or worst of that.

Possible on the edge of the cliff towards the ocean.

So 24/7 Ace keep his eyes on Luffy.

It’s not like his baby brother is burden, no, of course not. But any kind of danger or possibility of getting injuries in Lu’s case always turn into disaster with great damage. It’s not like his baby brother is weakling, not at all, he’s getting stronger every day. But still it’s Ace’s responsibility to take good care of his little brother, be support for him in the way Luf couldn’t do yet.

After all, Luffy is all Ace has. ( all what’s was left)

And maaaybe some times (especially when he set the sail) Ace couldn’t sleep too well cuz he can’t hear his brother’s sleepy mumbling and perpetual cowering. Ace couldn’t be alone for long timeme , and become nervous if he couldn’t do just smth (find food, make campfire, find edible or etc — just parent with hyperactive cheerful boy, who need everything and one more thing). So in the start journey finding weakling Deuce rll help Ace be enough tense for his own convenience.

on the Moby Dick Ace still has his BIG BROTHER-PARENT tone, especially in situation when he’s become too worried for his new siblings. And it’s not loud mouth shout, no, shouting doesn’t work on Luffy every time, and after Sabo…, well he learn the Makino-san’s way.

Calmly, clearly, briefly and with a slightly shown concern in his facial expressions, Ace conveys his message. But it is worth adding that for the person to whom such a speech will be addressed, it will become abruptly cold and he will feel the embarrassment that usually appears when a parent catches on to anything that has been carefully hidden, and the desire to listen.

It’s kind of sad and funny bc if the sides is switch, Ace for quite long time couldn’t find out why are exactly they mad or concerns of his safety. ( there is possibility for med stuff to gossip about Ace’s behavior what’s similar with pattern that single exhausted parents usually has.)

And there’s another idea why he, in the first place, listen Whitebeard. it’s cuz in some more than less ways Newgate similar with Garp, but Whitebeard is that one who besides knowing of Ace’s heritage, willingly and quite warm gives warm affection and recognition to Portgas. Stable, strong enough with all shit Ace throw at him, who accept him and gives necessary protection. ( like Ace does himself for Luffy everyday in the seven years).

Whitebeard is a parental figure who is not going to disappear for months like Garp did.

Whitebeard gives him comfort and physical affection willingly (which Garp didn't, and of which Ace himself gave to Luffy and sees it as an indicator of love and attention).

Ace is little brother for whitebread crew but still has the same vibe as Newgate has when the deal come to children on the island, the whoooole Big cool brother thing, or the role model. After one encounter with the few juniors in the crew, or while on a mission under Ace's command, it will suddenly hit a random crew member that Ace strongly resembles Whitebeard.

His attitude, his aura.

The aura that resembles the Oyaji.

Or another situation where this similarity is seen when one of the Whitebeards watches from the sidelines as the Spades crew works.

Already allies to the Yonko, but not yet so connected to the rest of the Nakama, the Spades acted as a well-oiled machine under Ace's leadership.

Maybe that's when the idea of appointing Ace as a possible division commander was first thrown in.

part 1

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cravingpepsimax · 3 months ago

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my big bro stan take cuz i'm not sure if i ever posted it:

so. stan's ford's older brother, right? ford's born when stan's 12, and stan immediately grows attached to the little guy. he's a smart cookie, he's got so much potential, and he... keeps getting bullied. for his fingers. and it pisses stan off.

luckily, stan's a teenager and is therefore a Big Kid. not just that, but a Big Kid that's taken Boxing Classes, so he's great at intimidation -- and can even deal with the bigger kids if they ever try picking on ford, too. ford looks up to stan as his hero. everything's great!...

until stan turns 18.

pretty much the moment filbrick can, stan's kicked out. filbrick doesn't care too much about stan protecting ford, and, if anything, wants him away from him -- he doesn't need the one chance this family has at actually making it looking up towards their biggest failure yet.

so, stan's homeless.

stan stays in contact with caryn, who always asks him to talk to ford. and, sometimes, near the very beginning, he does. but, eventually, he stops talking to ford entirely. it's one thing that his parents know how much of a fuck up he is. it's another thing for ford to know. ford, the only person to ever really look at him with anything other than a mere acceptance at best

so, stan promises himself that, as soon as his situation gets better, he can talk to ford then.

12 years pass.

stan is 30 years old.

his situation has not gotten better.

and if stan hasn't contacted ford, ford will contact him. he's 18 now.

they reunite at some kinda dingy cheap diner. stan tries to make himself look a bit more passable. ford doesn't -- he's no slob, he just doesn't see the point. despite this, when stan sees his baby brother for the first time in 12 years, the realization hits him like a ton of bricks:

oh god.

i want him.

they talk. ford's a bit more confrontational, but they actually sit down and talk instead of beating the shit out of each other, and everything's grand!... except for stan, who now has to wrestle with this horrible realization that he no longer harbors just the normal big brother protection feelings

#stancest #big bro au

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dystopyx-blog · 10 months ago

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what do you think of yandere azul?

I think his yandere typing is a mix of possessive and manipulative. Like manipulative should be pretty obvious. Mr. Contract Man. Absolutely the type to pull some shady underhanded deals if that’s what it takes to get you close to him. Because, as I’ve said, he’s also possessive. You are HIS.

you two probably have a bit of a slow burn. No love at first sight for him. In fact, he really doesn’t think much of you at all. All he’s focused on is how you can benefit him. Eventually, during the events of octavinelle, he starts to realize how much he underestimated you, how smart you are. He assumed you’d be as dumb as the idiots you surround yourself with (Ace, Deuce, Grim). But you’re not. You’re probably more on the level with Azul himself. In fact, the only thing holding you back (in his opinion) is your emotions. He decides he’ll help you. Help you realize your friends are beneath you and you could be doing something much more with your life. Like helping him. Afterall, he owes you after the overblot, right? He has the tweels follow you around when he can’t. And not just stalking (if only it were just that), they get up close and personal. The whole point is to seperate you from your other “undeserving” friends, right? So they get involved. One tweel on either side. Floyd scares off most folks, but if someone does get too close, Jade handles it from there. I’m sure you quickly get sick of it. You confront the tweels, but they insinuate (cuz of course they don’t give it to you easy) that they’re just taking orders. So you march your fine self straight to Azul and…

He finds you utterly adorable. You want the tweels off your back? Okay. Then spend more time with Azul. You’re scheming and planning, meanwhile Azul is trying to remember why he’s doing this?

He’s been slowly developing his yandere-ness, but it’s in spending time with you where his romantic attraction actually amps up. He can see why those fools in Heartslabyul are so fond of you now. With each forced hangout, he insists on more and more. And each one gets more and more date-like. Until he’s straight up calling them dates and brushing you off if you try to say anything about it. You two are practically already dating, right? The rest of the school certainly thinks so! (Thanks to the help from some well placed rumors by the tweels)

I mentioned he’s possessive, yeah? No longer will the tweels accompany you, he does it himself. Hand in hand. if you won’t take his hand, fine, he’ll sling his coat over your shoulders so everyone knows :). He views you on par with his precious contracts! Really, you should feel honored. If he could keep you locked up he would! (He’s working on it.) You are HIS little angelfish, he’s really just trying to find the perfect tank to show you off in tbh.

Deuce: you never hang out with us anymore :( Ace: yeah, you’re different now that you have a boyfriend. You: I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Oh, how you wound Azul with your words! Clearly someone needs a few more dates to realize who they belong to ❤️

editing now that I’ve been awake longer (this was one of the first things I did after waking up lmao)

He’s interested at you at first for your brains, becomes more interested because of your heart, gets obsessed because of your kindness, even to him. The possession comes from how fucking nice you are to him, even as he does manipulate you. Sure, you give him sass and snark (fuel for the flames tbh), but you’re honest and open with compliments. Reassuring him he’s beautiful, somehow always at the exact times he needs it most. You make all three hearts thump.

#Yandere #yandere asks #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader

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evenmorefatallyobsessed · 3 months ago

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So after Team Jnpr found out what happened with Playtime Co how many toys would they kill because some of them are beyond saving. Actually this could be it's own story. But anyway Yarnby, Catnap, and Miss Delight I think are to far gone. The Doctor would probably be no moral issue with killing. Mommy Long Legs, Dogday, and Doey would probably be willing to help them.

So not gonna lie didn't think too deeply on said concept, I was just commissioned to make the model and send it to them. I literally thought of it as I posted it...

But that is a interesting point, after all a good amount of the toys tragically aren't rehabilitate anymore... Just about any small one for sure as they all are basically feral.

I actually wonder if the smaller bodies can think beyond animalistic thoughts. It was mentioned several times that bigger bodies were failures that resulted in animal like natures like with Yarnby and Pianosarus.

So I imagine most the smaller toys are the same though Mommy does seem to be able to control the Mini-Huggies so some are... Trainable. Which is just another level of fucked up.

Ultimately I'd have to say JNPR would kill a good amount, their first kill would be Huggy, and they would be shocked when they do so cuz they don't understand what it is at first thinking it's a Grimm... Until it doesn't disappear and then a monster and once they learn they range in reaction.

Ironically I see Ren reacting the worst as this would break his semblance from emotional overload and since he rarely deals with emotions it would utterly devastate him... Nora wouldn't be much better realizing it's a child who was probably a lot like her.

Pyrrha would be inconsolable and like she was with Penny, Jaune would also be in a horrible state. But as we've seen in the series he is the best at pulling himself together.

And ultimately for his team he would shove his mental issues down to deal with later knowing something just died in him... They'd talk to Poppy and all four would be disgusted, horrified and angry...

As for which toys, yeah... Yarnby, Catnap, and Miss Delight would all be killed. I do kinda also see this situation where they hesitate to kill them, but Jaune would force himself forward to do it, so his teammates wouldn't.

They Would HATE Sawyer, things would not play out like in the game, they'd tear his robotic army apart shatter his container and drag him out piece by piece already being far past their initial innocence at that point.

Jaune would unlock his semblance from the sheer tragedy of seeing all this horror. Probably when he see's Dogday, desperate to heal him, to heal someone who suffered so much, he's had to kill so many victim already. They didn't deserve this! they weren't monsters, they were people, children who'd been twisted, used, turned into playthings for Playtime.

He'd activate his semblance as he rushed forward, grabbing the little critters rushing into Dogday, pulling them out of his flesh, ignoring them biting, scratching, trying to eat him as he did. He couldn't let him die, not another kid, not one who could still think, who still had a soul, and even now was tortured. Jaune would pass out waking up to see Dogday alive... The mini critters dead, torn apart, his team looking more spiritually worn out then ever.

Jaune would apologize, regretting that he passed out, that he didn't kill the small toys... The Feral children... that his team had to, that he couldn't protect them.

Yeah... this would be a emotionally fucked AU... Bright side I can see them saving Mommy Long Legs and by extension, Bunzo Bunny, PJ Pug-a-Pillar and the Mini-Huggies that she controls.

With Catnap I think Jaune more then anyone would understand... Loyalty is one of the core tennent of the Arcs after all... he would try but when his teams in danger he decides.

Doey, and all the toys in the sanctuary would be saved, because to put it simply the Prototype would die before Sawyer (The Doctor does) when he attacks the sanctuary Jaune and Pyrrha would go with Doey to fight him while Ren and Nora would follow Poppy's plan.

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leviathanofdeath · 2 years ago

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rotb spoilers

watched it again. need to talk about Mirage.

im thinking abt how Mirage was peeping in on Noah's brothers room . he was just curiously watching them, trying to be sneaky but accidently crushing the car under him (of course cuz he is huge) and then accidentally smacking his head on a rail, causing his lights to turn on. very silly typical Mirage thing. He really went home with Noah and then instead of staying put he wanted to see what Noah was up to ♡ and then him promising Kris that he'll protect Noah no matter what, even receiving a walkie talkie to make sure. I fucking love that shit. even before Noah got in the car, Mirage was fucking with him by continously locking the car door. you cannot tell me its not love at first sight GRAHHH

Mirage defending Noah in front of everyone. explaining that he already likes Noah just from the little cop car chase, and that he thinks the human is cool! I love how attached he already became. and him saying "I cross my spark, hope to die" and realizing how cheesy it sounded. literally Gold

And i noticed that Mirage is always near Noah. Hes always close to him in some way. Whether it be in his garage, outside his apartment, walking/standing next to Noah, giving him the little gauntlet thingy so they can at least communicate and Noah can protect himself. They're always together, and hes always keeping his promise. hes so dedicated to protecting Noah.

the death scene. Mirage confidently saying hes going to deal with Scourge while Noah and Elena go to enter the code, even tho he knows he isn't going to win. But Noah immediately stops as soon as Mirage gets downed. And then he's there, about to get hit when Mirage covers him. Literally dying on top of him. Losing an arm and a leg just to keep Noah safe, to keep his promise. are u serious. And its not until this moment Noah realizes what's being taken from him and he begins to freak out because!! Mirage is Dying! And after he does, Noah almost gives up. He is devastated; he's lost someone. He says he can't move, he can't do anything, and its his brothers words that help him regain his composure.

And then luckily, Mirage comes back with a quip and tells Noah to take the wheel. And Noah does. And Mirage continues to protect Noah. HE CONTINUES TO SHIELD NOAH EVEN AFTER HE'S LOST SO KUCH OF HIMSELFN!@ HES WILLING TO DIE FOR NOAH!!! HE DID DIE FOR HIM!!

because of mirage, Noah was able to meet Elena and get that key. because of mirage, Noah was able to enter the temple and receive the codes for said key. because of Mirage, Noah helped save the world. all because an alien had to keep a promise and thought that Noah was cool.

now listen if that ain't complete and utter infatuation then idk what is

and Noah deciding to not sell Mirage is SO IMPORTANT. He originally went to take the key from the museum because he wanted to be able to sell Mirage for cash and save the planet, so seeing Noah go through so many changes throughout the film and then eventually changing his mind is so impactful. when he took the Mirage suit off, he was looking at it so fondly because he realized now that he can't get rid of Mirage. Mirage became special. he then began to use spare parts to build Mirage back up, stating that its his car and he's not gonna sell it no matter what because Mirage is special. Mirage saved his life and this is what Noah is doing to pay him back.

IM SOOO ILL I LOVE GAY PEOPLE !!!!

#tf mirage #transformers mirage #transformers rise of the beasts #tf rotb #transformers #noah diaz #mirage x noah

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yuri-is-online · 2 years ago

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idk if ur into more soft + toxic jadeyuu but if u aren't just ignore this plz 🙏😭 and sorry in advance this got out of hand (cw: jade purposely poisoning yuu, mentions of jade purposefully playing with yuu's feelings)

anyway, ur 'jade poisoning yuu' idea gave me thoouuuughhts and ive just been imaging jade who only ever saw yuu as like a pawn at first cuz he wanted someone to play with for a while-- and jade being jade constantly makes mushroom dishes but imagine his surprise when they actually accept his meal and eat it happily.

people usually find his mushroom obsession annoying and offputting so he's suprised but OBVIOUSLY his first thought to this yuu eating his dishes is 'now i finally have someone to test all these poisonous mushrooms on!! ^^' but his heart skips a beat when he thinks of them. jade merely brushes it off as his excitement of shrooms

so the next time he makes a mushroom dish for yuu, the mushroom is poisonous and they suffer the effects of it. he's not even trying to hide what he did and he's actually more curious to see how they'd react.

but they accept his invitation to eat dinner again for some reason??? and his heart does another weird fluttery thing when they say yes but jade takes the opportunity anyway and poisons yuu again

this continues for a while and anyone would think that jade would've gotten bored of them by now, but he's... hanging out with them even more? and taking them on even more dates that don't include mushrooms, poisonous or not?

and honestly, even jade himself is surprised because there isn't a coherent reason to why he's doing these things with them. sometimes (before all this happened) he'd hold their hand and give a kiss or 2 just to see their disappointment when he didn't act lovey-dovey the very next day>> but he's been doing these romantic actions every day as their "poison mushroom dates" increased.

he still smiles when he kisses yuu but it's a different kind of smile. his heart is fluttering more and more often, his cheeks are turning pink when they hold his hand and he's feeling all kinds of things he's never felt before.

he lays in his bed one night thinking about yuu and he realizes he's fallen in love. he never expected this to happen but he smiles and giggles and tells his mushrooms all about his newfound revelation.

now whenever mushroom dates happen (which are sometimes still poisonous ofc), he feeds them to yuu with his own hand.

You must be dreadfully lonely. That's the only reason Jade can think of for why you let him do this. Perhaps you truly think yourself to be alien, that the fleeting touches he grazes you with are all you deserve. Not that he will tell you otherwise, he's far too interested in finding out where your line lies.

But he finds his instead.

If I ever say no to more soft + toxic jadeyuu assume that is not me. they/them used for yuu, same CW from above, i don't think this is borderline anymore it's full yandere

It was supposed to be another test of your limits, a slight apology for paying some attention to a visiting student he'd previously only shown to you. Just one kiss to the back of their hand to seal a completely unnecessary deal, and you had refused to seek him out for a whole week. He was proud of you, truly he was, but not remorseful in his addition to this particular dish. Jade watches you roll the pasta around in your mouth and wince as you try to speak. The numbness spreads from your tongue to the back of your throat and you make no noise-

But eat the rest of the plate, not even rolling your eyes once. You cannot speak, but you still smile when he asks if the food his good. And for some reason now his words were stuck.

"You're a good cook, we should do this again sometime." You hoarsely say as he nods quickly, staring down at your cleaned plate. A wicked, giddy smile overwhelms him, he has a dedicated test subject now; oh how delightful you have proved to be, not at all as boring as he had first thought. ~~~~ The second attempt he has you make together and he wonders what it is laced more with, toxins or his joy at your strange willingness to let him drag you around. Up the mountains you had gone together to fetch a pail of mushrooms, and when you fell down after consuming the crown he found himself jumping after, your now flimsy body cradled in his arms.

"Oh dear, I think I added a bit too much." He has to look the very image of a devil, and though you don't really have the ability to escape anyway he still finds himself holding you quite close to his chest. "Do give me chance to make it up to you? This Saturday perhaps?"

"There's an unbirthday party that afternoon." You sound almost as disappointed as he feels angered. "Perhaps we could do Friday?"

Oh of course you could, he does hope you have your apologies prepared for Riddle; if you intend to return after this then you cannot be upset when you are much too sick to attend. Or perhaps he should try to control the dose and accompany you? The thought of you among the roses in a stylish outfit is doing odd things to his chest. ~~~~ "I don't know what it is you want but please stop." Azul is the only one who would ever be brave enough to scold him like this. "I never liked watching you tease the prefect, but since they were willing to work at a lesser rate I endured it but this is just painful."

"Oya, I take offense to that." Jade "sniffles" because truly he does not know what to do. Who would have thought a simple request for some time off would- well never mind of course it would spark a debate. But he hadn't listed the prefect at all in his note, just that his club would be going camping over the weekend and he was intending to be unavailable. Just because he has been addicted to your presence as of late does not mean anything. Sure, he has not poisoned you in a while (you almost seem disappointed, what a truly tempting little-) "I assure you everything I have done is with the prefect's consent." Has he truly been spending so much time with you that it is obvious you will be tagging along? And why does the idle thought that this could invite danger cause such a painful feeling- fear could it be fear that he is feeling? Over you?

Azul massages his temples as he lets out a truly painful sigh. "That's sort of the problem, have you even thought about what that means?" Jade increases the volume of his sobs. "Of course you haven't look, I will approve your request but please for the love of the sea do not do anything actionable?"

"I have no idea what you could possibly be implying." His cries magically dissipating as he happily goes to his room to look through his closet and prepare. ~~~~ Jade dreams of Yuu that night. He dreams of the plush of your lips and thighs, of the comforting grip of your hand as he walks down the hallway or along a trail, his mind is tortured with images of what he pictures your sleeping face to be like.

He awakes with the realization that he will soon know. Azul was right he had not thought about what any of this meant, of his actions, of yours. And if he must own the truth he still does not know what yours mean, and that scares him even if he laughs loud enough for Floyd to throw a pillow at his head.

"I love them." He whispers to the terrariums on his wall. "I love them." He vows to the mushrooms in his garden and the moon somewhere up in the sky over the seas. How unpredictable, how beautiful, how very much like him to not tell you why he insists on feeding you himself on your trip, or rests your head in his lap the next time you sleep off the poison. There is a process to these things, he thinks anyway, and Jade has been impolite enough to skip several steps. Perhaps, he idly thinks as he traces the size of your finger, you will let him skip several more? After all, there is so very much you deserve, and he is surprisingly willing to give.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #jade leech x y/n #jade leech x yuu #yandere twisted wonderland #i probably should have just published this when you sent it to me but you made me so happy i just #needed to add to it i am so sorry #<3 asks

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vacantgodling · 3 months ago

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author ask tag 💛

thanks for tagging me @mjjune 💛

What is the main lesson of your story?

i’ll answer all of these for my 3 main wips cuz i don’t wanna pick just one fhdjfjf

PARAMOUR… hm. it’s better to be yourself in a world that hates you than to conform to that world and lose yourself in the process, i think. community and relying on others also and trying to do everything alone only hurts yourself more. you need community in some way, it makes you stronger.

BTAF is actually very straightforward: you are allowed to make your own decisions and live your own life and not only should other people not make those decisions for you, you can’t make them for other people.

HWSTS is all about self acceptance. you know yourself better than anyone else and don’t let anyone try and take that from you. tm.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

in general i really enjoy fantasy and history and pretty much all of my wips combine elements of those two things.

i tend to take a historical vibe of some kind (paramour: french rococo, btaf is literally historical fiction and it takes place in europe 1800s, hwsts: mongolian steppe culture a la ghengis khan era which is like the 1100s? i believe) and then i mesh it with a fantasy element (paramour: steampunk and eldrich entities, btaf: werewolves and vampires, hwsts: general magic and witches). and then i add in a heap tone of commentary and sort of shape the narrative around those elements. (ie: in paramour: hya is himself irregardless of how others see him including in his gender presentation, so i made a complex system around how genders work in galere as well as based a religious minority sect on a perversion of those ideals; in btaf: the physiology of werewolves and vampires is literally shaped around the theme of prochoice, who gets a choice and who doesn’t and what that means for everyone involved; in hwsts: gender expression is khizzy’s entire arc, so having the gods in his world be genderless and being locked Into a gender due to culture so he can figure out his way around it are important to the story).

i don’t think i’ve ever sat down and wrote that out before so sorry for the ramble but yeah tbh i think this is how i build most of my wips lol.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

in general i’m not super interested in the idea of trying to teach anyone anything through my wips—if you get something from it, great! but for me, my wips are more about me exploring myself and how i feel about things. they’re all complex love letters and philosophical debates i have with myself that i just let other people read cuz i’m vain 🤪 however to go into more depth:

hya’s main goal in paramour is to have everyone leave him the fuck alone. yes, i am so fucking serious that is his goal HFJDHD. his entire life has been spent being a puppet on a million people’s strings and he’s just ready to cut all the cords and be left alone, however life (me) have other plans for him. hya is definitely an interesting character to me because he is somehow one of the Least curious mcs i have (he only does the plot because amon and aloe drag him through it if left to his own devices he would absolutely Not deal with any of this shit—but that speaks on the community thing i was talking about earlier. because hya cares about aloe and eventually amon he puts himself in uncomfortable situations at their behest because they ask it of him, even if he’d never say it like that). i think i really wanted to create a character with hya, that was purely of my own indulgence; of how i wish i could be as a person and sort of a manifestation of how i do internally feel when trying to deal with other people. and having someone purposefully want to get to know me (or hya) despite all of his faults, and realizing there is value in putting effort into relationships even if there isn’t a 1:1 return on them is probably also where i was going. also he’s hot. HDHDHD i also just made him to be eye candy im not even sorry.

sjaak’s goal is to be reunited with biscella and to pull a jay gatsby “you can repeat the past”—but just as gatsby learned there’s sometimes just no turning back time or picking up where things were left off. sjaak in general is a character chiseled out of his grief, and i think some part of me wanted to draw some attention to the part of my inner self that is plagued by the what ifs; what if i never broke up with them, or didn’t lose that relationship, or tried to do this and tried to do that. but in the most ass-backwards way ever, sjaak gains strength he didn’t know he had from his experiences and will (somehow LMAO???) overcome the grief and loss that he feels and accept his new reality and new normal. i think we all spend a lot of our early 20s especially just thinking about all the shit we did wrong or should’ve done differently and dwelling on the past doesn’t really.. change anything. so ig my goal with sjaak is to be a sort of, yes that experience traumatized you and has an affect on you, but you can still grow and see the things you have in life now that you wouldn’t have had otherwise. I SAY ALL OF THIS—but trust me btaf is not that straightforward and neither is sjaak’s arc like you gotta Squint to see it but i’m okay with that. cuz my other goal with his character is the very visceral ending 💛

khizzy is literally just my journey to accepting being a trans guy but make it a neglected elder brother who is at his fucking limit about it. similarly to sjaak and hya it definitely is speaking to some unhealed part of me who had to struggle a bit to find footing in accepting myself but with khizzy it’s more about learning to seek joy and being happy with oneself instead of the angst fests of the other two lol.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

paramour’s original outline had 27 chapters but becuase i am (technically) redoing it it may end up being like 30… ish?

i have no idea with btaf, it will have 20 acts though so… take of that what you will

same thing with hwsts i think it’ll probably be like 25-30 since that seems to be the sweet spot for me but i haven’t really planned anything out for it beyond chapter (1), the overall plot, and this language in it HDHDHD

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

all original 💛 honestly i dont know where i plan to post any of it cuz i haven’t gotten to the point where i *need* to think about it (aka nothing is close to done). i think i’d love if btaf was serialized just bc i would love to see people lose their minds about it in a play by play fashion. and serial stuff is kinda becoming the new thing and i can get behind it so. maybe that? idk. i’ll definitely be making physical copies for myself at the bare minimum tho

When did you start writing?

as a wee lad. my first oc i made when i was 3 and id been making characters for years and i always loved writing but i didnt start making like BIG projects until i was like 12?

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

my biggest thing is write what you want to read. like literally don’t care about what anyone else wants to read because there IS an audience out there for you. what matters is that you enjoy your work, that you’re excited to think about it and read about it and work on it. your excitement is contagious so really bank on it. you’ll find your people, you just have to become your own people first. basically.

and i follow a lot of cool people so here’s a big ol list (and also do this too if u want no pressure!)

@multi-lefaiye @kudzucataclysm @void-botanist @ink-flavored @henrike-does-writing-sometimes @zeenimf @magic-is-something-we-create @galactic-mystics-writes @sarahlizziewrites @alexanderflowerbird @theskeletonprior @sergeantnarwhalwrites & anyone else who’d like to do this :3c

#about renjamin #i love rambling soooo THANK #i don’t think i’ve thought about these before in that way fjdjfj

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