#hal shelburn

[menmuncher]

the monkey Bill/Hal Shelburn x fem!reader

a/n: I've been obsessed with 'the monkey' and WAITINGGG for a fic to come out of it (it has been 4 days) but i've found nothing- so i'm taking it into my own hands, hehe. i couldn't choose a brother bcuz they're both hot (duh. but I fear i'm leaning towards bill because i enjoy weirdos) so why not BOTH!!!1

synopsis: head cannons? of the brothers. not at the same time because we know they wouldn't share.

warnings: NSFW, oral (both receiving), stalking, abusive relationship, creepy behaviour, bruising, slapping

HAL

when you first started going out on dates with him, you both really enjoyed it. he would usually take you to those cheesy spots teenagers would go to as their first date: some places like the movies or a bowling alley.

as these dates passed, you grew closer.. but at the same time, you would meet less often? once a week turned into once a month, but you couldn't understand why considering every time you did see him again he'd almost be emotional with how excited he was - clinging onto you like a puppy

you tried to initiate more time together but were always met with an excuse. it had to be on his terms or nothing, which obviously upset you. you began to feel a sort of anger towards his neglect and decided next time you saw him; you had to say something.

and so it happened, you guys met at a small diner in Maine and he obsessed over you as he always does after not meeting for a while. you had about 10 minutes of strength before you began to break down mid-conversation, begging for an explanation why he hardly took the time to see you anymore

this broke him; he didn't wanna seem insane to you but he also didn't wanna risk you leaving. he weighed his options for a minute before ultimately deciding to take the easier route, not that either would be simple

he explained the monkey to you. you were silent the whole story, jaw-dropped. once he finished, the silence didn't end. he waited for you to throw water on him, call him a psychopath and walk out... but it never came

you... actually believed him? hesitantly, for sure, but you were willing to trust him for this relationship. now he was the one breaking down - he wasn't afraid to be vulnerable around you and there was no shot he would be able to keep it together at this moment.

you told him you'd be fine and you were willing to take the risk as long as it meant hanging out with him more. he didn't want to put you in this position, but he nodded. he was too far into you at this point.

from then on, the days together become more frequent though he pays the same attention to you as he always would after missing you.

he's so nerdy but so attentive. he loves to buy you flowers and your favourite meal every Sunday on his way home from work. if you try hard enough, you're able to keep 3 weeks worth of flowers alive at once.

"these reminded me of you. i think the lady said they were dahlias? they bloom so beautifully and reflect such a bright color, don't you think?"

he's clingy, too. he loves to lay on your lap when you watch TV together - though, he's usually asleep within minutes of resting his head. it's okay because he's cute which makes up for it.

he has panic attacks every now and then due to nightmares about the monkey, but just holding him and combing through his hair is enough to bring him back to peace

he'll cook for you sometimes, too. it's not the best cooking, but it's the thought that counts. his favourite to make is pasta, probably because it's easy.

after you've been together for a while, he'll take you on more casual dates. still a movie every now and then but mostly just a dinner at his house or a drive in the car with long conversations, where he obviously lets you have the aux. he knows you enjoy simple things like that

now, into the NSFW stuff.

he loves when you're being pleasured. he thoroughly enjoys eating you out and grunting into your pussy so you can feel his enjoyment.

he enjoys getting oral, too, of course - but won't make that the main focus. it's only if you're feeling up for it. he gives you words of affirmation while you do it

now, when he fucks you - it's usually in the bed. you being comfortable is the #1 thing to him

he's okay with you being a pillow princess. he enjoys being dominant.

but if you wanna take over? he's happy to take that as well. he's really up for anything.

he's pretty vanilla, honestly. will put a pillow under your back so you're in a comfortable position as he angles himself perfectly into you, hitting your g spot with nearly every thrust and talking you through it.

even though he goes deep and likes to control you, he's so gentle. treating you like glass and ensuring he doesn't squeeze your hips tighter than he would your hands. he couldn't handle seeing you with bruises.

he just needs to show you how much he really loves you and appreciates you staying despite his screwed up baggage

BILL

you weren't looking for a partner when you found him. you had seen an ad in the newspaper looking for a 'long lost toy monkey'.. it was bizarre, considering you could probably buy your kid a similar-looking one without him noticing.

but you had a toy monkey. you kept it as a collectible, and it sounded similar enough to the ad. you don't remember where you got it from but it wasn't anything special to you so 15 bucks was enough to have you handing it over. when the guy came to your door, he looked disheveled. he had a terrible haircut and kind of smelled.. his outfit was weird, some sort of suit sewed into a tight black fire shirt with a key necklace. you knew a lot of people in this town but.... never saw him before?

why he was wearing such a complex outfit to buy a toy monkey from you? no clue.

you took the 15 bucks, exchanged a few words then shut the door after making the sale. turning from the door, you went back to sit on your couch before your doorbell rung again.

what else could he need? he had the monkey. you walked towards the door and opened it up to have him smiling at you. something he hadn't previously done. he was silent for a minute, just smiling.

"....can I help you?" you asked, before he spoke

"uh yeah, I was wondering.... could I get your number? you are like, really good looking."

you paused for a moment, taken aback. that is not what you expected him to say. you bit your lip and contemplated- he was kind of handsome.... but there was no chance. he was a weirdo coming to pick up a monkey from you. not to mention he had absolutely zero sense of fashion.

"yeah, no" you said, closing the door. it was harsh but you didn't wanna conversate with him anymore. you were way too tired, so you went into your room and eventually fell asleep.

from that day on, you started seeing him everywhere. he would be shopping at the same supermarket as you, passing you when you'd be on a walk, and appearing at the bar every time you went out with friends. it wasn't until you had a bit of alcohol in you that you finally got enough courage to talk to him.

"this guy's a creep, i'm ending this." you said to your friends, pushing yourself up from the bar despite being warned and going over to the man sat by himself at a table - some sort of alcoholic substance in his hands.

"what is this? you're absurd" as you got closer to his booth, you saw that he wasn't in fact alone, but had your previously-owned monkey sat beside him. your face scrunched up in even more disgust

"I don't know what you're talking about.." he didn't even look at you as he continued to sip his drink, acting like this was normal.

"you're harassing me! I don't even know you!" you began to scream in his face now as he displayed little to no emotions and kept his vision locked on his glass.

"will you look at me?!" you exclaimed, leaning over the table and grabbing the monkey from the couch beside him- now he looked at you. reaching a hand out to grab at your wrist, tightly, his teeth gritted.

"leave him alone" he sneered as he tugged it from you, not completely pulling it from your grip

"him? it's a toy!" you tugged back at it as he almost growled. he stood from the booth and fully took it from your grasp this time, holding the toy to his chest. he was breathing heavily as you both stared into eachother's eyes with anger. you were left speechless, this guy was clearly mentally ill.

suddenly, his angered eyes softened. he breathed out whatever he was holding in and sat back down. you didn't speak ither, half expecting him to just get up and leave with the toy. instead, he spoke:

"this monkey reminds me of my late dad. I don't know why, but he just.. does. i've been so lonely ever since my dad left." thanks to that kid, Ricky, for inspiring his sob story. even if bill's dad was still around, he couldn't care less whether he was dead or alive.

his sad confession definetly wasn't a proper explanation to why he was stalking you.... but for some reason, you felt guilt.

he didn't need to say it. it was clear he took a liking to you because of his obsessive behaviour - and wanted this loneliness to come to an end. so, with a sigh, you stupidly submitted in an attempt to cheer him up,

"i'm sorry, I can understand being lonely.. I mean not in the aspect of friends, or family, just like-" he looked up at you and when your eyes met his you stopped.

"..what i'm trying to say is, would you like to go out sometime? maybe we can make each other less lonely." he smiled at you, something he hadn't done since he was last on your doorstep, and nodded.

you didn't really bother explaining that to your friends later on. just dismissing the conversation, claiming you "solved everything".

you started to go on dates with him. none of them really requiring spending money- he always suggested something like a park, which also made you feel bad for him. so much so that you began to initiate actual restaurant dates.

it actually wasn't going bad. he was definetly odd, and embarrassingly enough always wore the same outfit, but he began to be more attractive the more you hung around him. eventually, you forgot how weird he was.

when you two were close enough, he became obsessive as he originally was. he always needed to be near you. he always came over to your house - never even inviting you to his as it was "too messy"

there wasn't many romantic gestures he'd do, besides telling you how much he needs you and how he would "die without you"

he followed you around everywhere. he'd whine that he wouldn't want to go to your places, but would go anyway just to be in your presence.

throughout all this, he always kept the monkey just as close.

bill loved being inside you. unlike his brother, he wasn't gentle with you. at all.

he'd toss you around and fuck you pretty much anywhere he could. he would breathe in your hair's scent as he dug his nails into your thigh and pounded you. he didn't care about whether you were comfortable or not- therefore you two would frequently end up on the ground or the table.

he couldn't be submissive. besides that time at the bar, he was never again vulnerable around you- especially not during sex.

he loves receiving head. he'll tangle your hair into his hands and push and pull at it as he rapidly fucks your face. he doesn't really care for giving you air to breathe, this is his time. his pace is so rapid as the sounds, almost screams, echo the room. slapping your cheek each time you tried to pawed at his thigh in an attempt to stop him.

he's selfish. he doesn't really give you head. if you ask really nicely, he might finger you for a minute or so, kissing your slit until he's tired and wants the attention back on him.

there wasn't much aftercare. he'd just go to sleep, so neglecting of you which you hated. it made you question: should you have ever offered him a date? what would've happened if you just called the police?

when you go to confront him one day about mistreating you, he immediately goes into a rage. screaming and cursing something about how he has always been watching over you to make sure you're safe but has just been met with selfishness in return.

the argument got so deep that you eventually threatened to walk out. that's when you were once again, put face-to-face, with your toy monkey.

okay this isn't much of an ending but i'm out of ideas and this was turning into more of a fanfic about bill SORRYYYYYY

[not-a-dipshit-shelburn]

What are you up to now, dipshit Shelburn?

[ @mrs-killer-monkey ]

Bill? and yes to remind you im not a dipshit

[himbovillain-anon]

AND AT 62.6% THE SLIGHTLY MORE WELL ADJUSTED AND MENTALLY STABLE LOSER WINS <333

[saucefunk]

the monkey that likes killing our family. it’s back

[peach-fiz]

Just saw The Monkey,,, waiting for all the Bill fangirlies bc I need "I can fix him" fics YESTERDAY

[billshelburn]

Okay where’s the fanart of Bill from The Monkey.

[torturedfolkloredepartment]

What if i dressed like hal from the monkey? Then what?

[halshelburn]

sorry, i need more people to watch the monkey. imagine you 🫵 try to kill your twin using a freaky toy your deadbeat dad left behind with no clue where it comes from or how it totally works but then you accidentally kill your mom. instead of this horrible event brining you guys closer, your twin develops an intense hatred and rage that makes him lose his mind and you’re both complete losers obsessed with this monkey in two different ways. and elijah wood says you aren’t shit and he’s adopting your son. all this happened to my good friend hal shelburn

[222hyunju]

the way that there are absolutely zero works for the monkey (2025) on ao3 rn… i might just change that!

[jks1uv]

𝐴 𝑅𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐹𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝐵𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐸𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 ; hal shelburn | one-shot |

summary: hal shelburn is unsure about a lot of things but there’s one thing he’s absolutely sure about; that evil fucking monkey is going down.

pairing: fem!reader x hal shelburn.

trope: devoted man protects his family from evil + exes-ish to lovers.

genre: hurt / comfort + rekindling romance.

warnings‼️: crude language + mentions of violence + a kiss scene +

word count: 1,567.

random disclaimerrr: went to go see The Monkey (2025) yesterday & did i fr write this just bc i wanted to see him be a loyal family man bc i think that’s what he’d thrive for when he got older? yes. yes i did. i was like “proper name, place name, backstory stuff 🫦” the whole movie cuz he’s just so handsome. theo james is so fine y’allll!! 😝🤭 changed the kids name to ‘peter’ bc why not & its still paying homage to his grandfather. happy reading! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ♡ © 2025 @jks1uv

────♡♡♡────

Hal has always kept to himself, obviously until you.

You caught him by surprise, charmed him in a way that was irresistible.

He found himself stuttering to ask you out. That soon led to his attempts at romance to which you accepted his advances.

Soon, you were married, and it was the happiest day of his life. You were ecstatic but for Hal, it was perhaps the one day where he’d felt true, unfiltered joy.

Of course, nothing lasts forever and he berated himself for forgetting that.

After you were pregnant, he felt an ominous sensation in his stomach. He understood that feeling to be reality settling in when you passed your first trimester.

Your pregnancy was hard but despite Hal’s internal tug-of-war between his heart and mind, he chose you.

Peter was born and Hal held the world in his hands, and he realized the heavy weight it carried.

Hal remembers his father and the curse Bill and he had to endure for a short amount of time. The pain brought on in that short amount of time was enough to be generational.

The last thing Hal wanted to subject his son, his beautiful little family to was generational trauma.

And so, he made like eggs and scrambled. He became distant, cold, mysterious.

You couldn’t recognize this shell of the man you married.

You signed the divorce papers against your hearts will but Hal never did possess the bravery to bring his signature to life onto those papers.

He was more than happy being estranged, because he was still your husband.

Making a deal to see his son and wife once a year wasn’t his best idea but it was his only way of making sure no harm comes to either of you.

Unfortunately, this time around happened to be unlucky. These past few days have been hell.

Your estranged husband rented a motel room to spend the night before continuing the trip he had planned for you and your son. He goes outside to talk to someone on the phone when he sees someone explode by diving into an electrified motel pool.

Hal then abruptly woke you and your son, Peter, to spend the rest of the night at another motel.

Not too long after, a realtor was instantly blown to pieces by a loaded shotgun that was conveniently placed to open fire on whoever would open the closet door. R.I.P. Barbara.

You weren’t oblivious; you picked up on Hal’s body language and facial expressions as soon as he explained what happened to the cops.

His desperation to leave and spend time with you and Peter wasn’t exactly helping his case, either.

Your son was showering which gave you the perfect opportunity to confront your estranged husband.

“I just want you to stop fucking with me.”

He’s heard that tone before but he didn’t tell you then and he won’t tell you now.

Hal sighs, “I already told you, there’s some kind of- a, uh… a curse on my family-”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, bull-fuckin’-shit. Why’d you marry me if you were so cursed?!”

You’ve never done that before.

He turns and looks at you and you see. You see the guilt in his eyes, like he’s sorry he married you. Not in a condescending way, never that; but in a way that is regrettable.

He truly believes he fucked up your life.

He doesn’t say anything for a couple of moments.

You hear the shower running and the bathroom fan on.

He looks away from you, sniffs and clears his throat to hide his embarrassment.

You’ve made him uncomfortable and part of you is satisfied seeing him scramble (pun intended) to give some sort of explanation. Another part of you is regretful.

Why should your satisfaction lie in upsetting him?

The better part of you takes charge. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… for it to come out that way.”

He shakes his head. “No, no, it’s alright. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

He’s sensitive, you know that. You also know he’s hurt but for some reason, he keeps shutting you out.

You stand from the bed and walk to him.

“Don’t shut me out, Hal.” You plead softly.

He stares into your eyes and he’s taken back to when he saw you for the first time. He’s reminded of the strange wave of confidence that washed against the shore of his heart.

Maybe the fear of losing you gnawed at his soul when you walked into his life but he became delusional.

You made him delusional.

You made him think differently, the familiar sound of bell tolls vanished from his mind when he married you. The only sound a bell made to him was that of the chime of wedding bells.

He turned a complete 180 from where he used to be and it’s all because of you.

“I married you because I love you.” He admits.

It’s like a breath of fresh air when he says that, probably because you haven’t heard that from him in a long time.

You’ve been desperate to see him for longer than a weekend but he just wouldn’t allow it. You’ve been craving his touch, his smile. Him, all of him.

“Please, just let me in.” You beg.

Your eyes tear up on their own accord and it breaks his heart.

His resolve is dissolving at the second and he’s afraid you’ll turn him into that lovesick fool he allowed himself to be.

But if he’s being completely honest with himself, his love for you never went away.

Hal cradles your face in his hands like it’s as fragile as glass. His thumbs wipe the tears and softly caress your cheekbones.

“I never lied to you, Y/n.” He murmurs.

“My dad… found this monkey and he brought it home for Bill and I.”

You look back and forth between his eyes and it doesn’t take a genius to know he’s telling the truth.

“Long story short, the monkey is evil. It has a key in the back and if you turn it, it’ll kill someone- whoever it chooses.”

“So, a toy monkey is responsible for dooming our marriage and plaguing you with crippling anxiety.”

It’s a fucked up situation to be in but you still manage to make it sound a bit humorous. He cracks a small smile at your summary.

“All but one thing: it’s not a toy, don’t call it that.”

“Right, sorry. I won’t call it a toy.” You blink, amused.

He deeply sighs. “I’m serious, Y/n. It comes with an attached drum set and once the drumstick comes down…” He trails off hoping you’d get it.

“It plays the drum signaling someone’s gonna die?”

“Yes.”

“It’s like Jumanji.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever works best for you.”

He holds your shoulders and brings his face closer to you.

“Which is why I’ve kept you and Petey away from me for so long. I couldn’t risk anything, I-I couldn’t risk you two.”

His big, brown, glassy eyes beg you for forgiveness silently.

“You could’ve told me.” You slowly reach for his hands and put them down.

“All this time, Hal. All this time, I thought you just didn’t want us anymore-”

He’s offended. “That’s not true-”

You scoff dryly. “And how the fuck was I supposed to know? You just distanced yourself from us and wouldn’t even give me an explanation!”

“I know, I know. But-” He shakily inhales as he can’t hold his tears anymore. “Everything I did, I did it for you and him. Just for you two.”

He sniffles and it makes you want to cry.

“Bill and I threw it down the well but I knew it wouldn’t stay down there forever. I-I fell in love with you and-and it was selfish,”

Hal comes close to you once again, proving how badly he wants nothing but to let you in again.

“But fuck it, I wanted to be selfish just once. Just this once.”

He hesitantly touches your arm.

“And I’m sorry for ruining your life-”

If your heart was broken before, it’s fucking squeezing with pain now.

“Hal, don’t say that.”

It’s your turn to wipe his tears. His lashes are wet and his nose is tinged a light red.

“You didn’t ruin my life.” You promise. “You upset me and it was poor communication on your part, but you never ruined it.”

He doesn’t look at you when he nods, still feeling doubtful.

You don’t think about it, and like it’s basic instinct; you tilt his chin up and kiss him.

You just press your lips against his to test the waters but when he pulls back and looks into your eyes, he slowly pulls you in. He kisses you softly, slowly. He’s kissing you and it’s real.

He’s making up for all the times he should’ve been kissing you, for all the years he’s lost by not telling you the truth.

He’s tired of letting his fear hold him back. He’s fed up with that stupid fucking monkey holding him prisoner in a nonexistent cell.

It’s been far too long and he’d be damned if he’d let you slip away again.

Hal’s going to bring an end to this curse once and for all, but for right now; he’s going to kiss you, hold you and never leave your side.

[zombiepuke]

sorry y’all i haven’t really had the time to be on here but just to let everyone know i saw The Monkey and i am utterly obsessed with hal shelburn now

[not-a-dipshit-shelburn]

*screams into pillow*

[himbovillain-anon]

NOOOO BILL GET UPPP 😭😭

LMAOOOO I’m sorry but it appears that masses have decided to not choose the menace to society this time 😞

[dav-suburbiia]

“When Hal Shelburn saw it, when his son Dennis pulled it out of a mouldering Ralston-Purina carton that had been pushed far back under one attic eave, such a feeling of horror and dismay rose in him that for one moment he thought he would scream.”

ref of my Limbus Company OC, Hal :] he’s based on Stephen King’s short story “The Monkey”

[nadjaofstatenisland]

Hal and Bill Shelburn had such crazy Michael and Gob Bluth energy that I really wish George Sr. came home with a wind up monkey at some point in their childhood.

[therealmrrobinson]

THE MONKEY (2025) Movie Review

We’ve come to the end of February and already this has been a great year for horror. Companion is a movie that’s so good and such an unexpected surprise that it has a good chance of making it on my best of the year list. Heart Eyes was a really entertaining, good old fashioned slasher movie that actually works better as a romantic comedy than a horror movie. So now we come to The Monkey directed by Osgood Perkins, (Longlegs) which for better and for worse, is the most outlandish of all the horror movies we’ve gotten so far in 2025.

THE GOOD

Right from the opening scene, the movie tells you that you aren’t supposed to take it seriously. The set up and the opening kill immediately sets the tone of the film, and a good majority of this movie feels like Final Destination meets Looney Tunes! The kills and amount of gore are some of the most over the top I’ve seen in this decade. Death is treated like a joke and there are many characters that deliver ridiculous remarks to some of these kills.

It helps that the actors are very much aware of what kind of movie they are in. Theo James is playing two characters, the twin brothers Hal and Bill Shelburn. When Theo James plays Hal, has this very dry delivery with all of his lines and seems to under react to everything that’s happening around him. He might come across as very wooden at first, but once you get a sense that this movie is a full blown comedy, his dry performance works. When playing Bill, James is unhinged and consumed with hatred for what happened to him and Hal during childhood. Christian Convery plays the younger version of these two characters and is very good as well. Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black, She-Hulk) also understands the assignment. She plays Hal and Bill’s mom, and delivers a morbidly dark yet hilarious monologue about death. In a lesser movie, the cast would probably be trying to treat this as a straight forward horror film, but thankfully everyone is on the same page, especially when you have brief appearances from Adam Scott and Elijah Wood. Even Osgood Perkins himself has a small, yet hilarious role.

THE BAD

As entertaining as this movie gets, its silly tone is also a detriment to itself. The movie has themes of dealing with death and estranged siblings, that it asks you to be invested it. However these moments are instantly undercut by the shenanigans of people exploding, or a character pointing out how absurd a scenario is. In embracing the ridiculous nature of its kills and violence, the movie loses any earnestness it asks you to have for the story and its characters. That is ultimately the films biggest downfall and why something like 2018s Halloween or Companion work far better. Those movies find the right balance between gory kills and an engaging story with broader themes.

OVERALL

I didn’t end up loving this movie the way so many people have, but what The Monkey gets right, it gets oh so right! The kills are absolutely insane, it’s shot very well, and the actors are very much aware of what the tone of the movie is. This is definitely a treat for horror and Stephen King fans. However if you can’t buy into the films absurd tone, then this won’t do it for you. It’s currently my least favorite of the 2025 horror movies we’ve gotten, but a good time regardless.

RATING

GOOD, BUT NOT GREAT