#current mood: lonely af

[shookuna]

GODDD IVE BEEN SO BUSY AND IVE HAD NO WRIITNG TIME

[whiteleviathan]

"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly"

- Unknown -

[jjs-brainrot]

And finished Girls band Cry.

Is it the best band anime of all time? Yes. Is it up there with stuff from Studio Orange as one of the best 3DCG anime? Yes. Is it absolutely my contender for anime of the season? Hell yes!

It's honestly been a long time since I've seen a completely original series just keep up such a consistently high production value and writing quality through out its run time. Like what ever you choose for the "weakest" episode would still basically be the highlight episode in any other anime.

The CGI genuinely might be some of the most expressive and fluid I've seen in a 3DCG anime. Like not even just in terms of framerate or character movement, I mean every scene each character has so much detailed and intricate facial and body language going on at every moment. It doesn't translate well into screenshots but it genuinely feels like you can just get how a character is feeling and what their personality is like in any given scene based purely on body language a lone which is incredibly impressive.

Writing-wise, it's hit after hit after hit. While some episodes are higher then others, there's never a moment where the series isn't doing everything in it's power to hit the emotional beats it's wanting to hit. The writing also just fully commits to feeling just really well grounded? Like nothing feels too out of left field or unearned and it just feels like a pretty natural story about a band coming together to try to make it in the modern music scene.

The entirety of the main cast is just fantastic.

Nina is easily going up there as one of my all time favorite protags. She's brash, goofy, has a sense of justice she never strays from even when it actively does her harm, she's angry af and she genuinely acts like how a teenager who's been though some shit would act. She's a flawed person (an outright hypocrite at times even) but that's what makes her such a relatable character.

Momoka comes across as a hot headed but confident rocker girl, but the reality is she's a bit of a coward. She sees herself as a complete failure and the only reason she hasn't already run away is the angry little hedgehog girl, whom she sees so much of her younger self in (even if a lot of that might be projection), keeps stopping her at every turn.

Subaru: the actress, the liar, the goofball, the hedgehog wrestler. So much of her personality is being as blatantly fake as fuck as she can every scene before someone calls her out on it. And so much of her fakeness just crumbles anytime she has to deal with her bandmate's antics (Nina especially) to the point that she can just be herself around them. She also has the funnest facial expressions and body language. She just has to be extra in every scene she's in.

Tomo and Rupa did feel like they got a little bit shafted in the series if I'm honest. A lot of that is because they really didn't get to get much screen time until the half way point though the fact that the series is much more focused on Nina and Momoka's storyline so the other three got less focus. Tomo tended to act like the band's straight man but she def got her own goofy moments. Rupa is the friend mom of the band. She does have the most depressing backstory but she always has to keep the mood lively (especially if there's beer involved).

The Music in GBC is absolutely fantastic. If Bocchi the Rock! is an homage to the current J-Rock scene, referencing bands like Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Tricot and 88Kasyo Junrei, Girls Band Cry is much more focused on paying homages to J-Rock from the 90s and 2000s, referencing bands like Yura Yura Teikoku, Gingnangboyz, Spitz and Eastern Youth.

Togenashi Togeari themselves might be my all time favorite J-Rock band now. Their music just absolutely hits and I just can't stop obsessing over them. What's particularly wild is that the VAs/musicians comprising Togenashi Togeari are all first time VAs who were all hired through an audition process that was specifically looking for women who never sung in public, played in a band, or played rock before. The series is just that committed to being grounded that it forms a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band to play a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band.

So anyways, I've rambling for far too long. Girls band Cry is amazing, you should all watch it in whatever way you can and then listen to all of TogeToge's songs on endless repeat like me.

[littlwatergirl]

[hermioneismyrealname]

Tomorrow (20221215) I have day one of my finals. It's maths.

Mood? Sleepy. Haven't slept in 2 days.

Reason? The last 6 hours I got, I woke up from a dream clawing at my arm and neck because I thought I was 8 again and what happened to me was happening again. SO SLEEP CAN GO FUCK ITSELF!

But after 11 am tomorrow, I will chugg 750ml of black coffee and sleep for 12 hours and start the marathon for biology (20221219), physics (20221221) and chemistry (20221222). Coffee stops me from dreaming.

Preparation? Maths can go to hell.

I've studied and I'm gonna study some more but once the paper is in front of me, the war begins against my brain as I try and pry the knowledge out from the anxiety filled trenches of my frontal lobe.

My body? My chest hurts like fuck.

I keep forgetting to breathe while I'm studying I don't know why. Also doesnt help that my glasses broke and I can't see shit so I'm hunched over my desk like a prawn and have my legs folded cause I'm gay af and can't sit on a chair straight by law.

Emotions? Currently numb.

I know this is going to change when I sit down in the exam hall. I'm just mentally drained. My sources of dopamine that I allow myself is this hellsite (affectionate), some one-shot fluff fics, writing drabbles and learning languages.

My goal? Do my best.

Imma be honest. I feel OK about what I know and I know I can do it, it's just my brain being an ass about it. That sack of flesh tells me to break my ankles for the heck of it, why should I listen to it?

Outcome? To feel proud enough so I don't feel guilty.

I feel guilty a lot. Survivors guilt and mommy issues. I overwork to overachive. I lay down on my bed and feel guilty i havent done enough when i just finished a 6 hour study session. Do more, my brain yells at me. So if I can come out of this like I did what I could, feeling less guilty, I'll be happy.

What do I want to do for the holidays?

Exam first and then think about holidays. But

I want to watch

Between Us (2022) ep 6 and 7

My 12 percent

Not me

Romantic Killer

Blood C

I spit on your grave

Goblin

Maybe rewatch Banana Fish

Space balls

I want to write

My drabbles

That Vegaspete fanfic I've been planning for a while now

That Sapphic story skeleton (idea struck me and I want to post it to *gags**barf**spits* wattpad

Begin copywriting because I'm a broke college student

I want to read

A curse so Dark and Lonely

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again (because it's my Christmas tradition)

Art of war

Maybe the wicked king, idk

I want to play

Minecraft

Potion craft: alchemy simulator

I want to learn languages

Japanese

Thai

Russian

Korean

Welsh

Latin

I want to random research

Anything

And then fritz case

I want to sleep.

I want to practice my forms in self defense. (Im probably shit by now)

I want to go rock climbing.

I want to go for a walk.

I want to talk to my friends and my crush that I've been ignoring for my exams, but like face to face, and give them a big ol hug even though I give really awkward hugs.

I want to eat broccoli and bread.

Didn't I mention sleep?

[hithelleth]

What I've (Not) Watched Lately

I’ve meant to do another one of these for so long there’s quite a number of things I’ve watched or tried to watch. Under the cut because it will get long, but I need to get my feelings out, so I can move on.

I watched 3 episodes of La Brea and then gave up because by episode 3 I should care at least one character and I just didn’t. And plot-holes, lack-of-logic-wise it was worse than Revolution (and that says a LOT). How do people survive the fall and flashlights work but apparently no car does and all plane electronics go out?

I know I shouldn’t expect logic from TV shows, silly me. Anyway, it’s a shame because based on the premise this could have been the new Terra Nova (gah, I think I need a rewatch.) As if I don’t watch too many things already.

I tried Midnight Mass and quit after one episode after I asked a friend and checked doesthedogdie, because ep ending was a very nasty surprise and apparently that continues throughout the show and nope, dead cats and lots of blood & gore to follow etc. are not for me and that’s fine.

I watched two episodes of Moon Knight, but like with La Brea, just didn’t care about the characters (even though Osccar Issac is hot). The plot was at least better but not enough – and I wasn’t in the right space for the moral dilemmas (as in everyone being wrong in some way) it presented. I might give it another go some time, though.

I finally quit New Amsterdam after 4x8, because it got boring and I can’t stand Max (and Max and Helen – and to think I really shipped them in the beginning but the put it off at least a season too long and meh) and I hated the about re: hospital policy, because we can’t make non-capitalist ways work, can we?

I half watched No Time to Die. It was the worst of the Daniel Craig’s Bond movies, IMO. Madeline came out of nowhere and hence, again, I just didn’t care that much about her and everything. IDK how they couldn’t have better established the supposedly core motivation of the movie better in 2 and half hours, FFS. A minute or two less shooting would do the trick, I think.

I also watched Un peuple et son roi, because it was on national TV and it had been on my list. European production is always a nice change of tone and it was okay, but nothing special.

Now, on to more engaging things.

Speaking of European production, I watched Heartstopper and it was fluffy, light, and adorable, and I am looking forward to S2.

I’ve also watched a ton of currently airing shows (now ended/ending for the season.)

The Rookie was a pleasant time-killer, as always.

I need to quit 911 Lone Star. The only good thing I remember from this season was that short Tommy/Julius venture. So, yeah.

I only watched episode 1 of S7 of LoT and IDK if I’ll watch it through the end. Maybe just the ep(s) where Wentworth Miller was back? Otherwise I lost interest and it also got cancelled. So, depends on my mood/state of boredom.

I continued watching CPD, mainly for Tracy, of course, and it also was a nice way to kill time.

I also started Chicago Fire mid-season purely due to Brett Dalton guest-starring, but then got attached to a few other people (mostly Violet) and kept watching. And I was so satisfied with Brett’s character’s arc. It was a healing experience, nevermind the different show and all. I was happy.

I also continued watching Law and Order: SVU & Organized Crime (which I got into at the end of last summer) and these, too, are excellent time-killers. Although, for such an old show – and the same goes for the Chicago franchise – and big fandoms, the said fandoms are surely conservative AF. I guess if I want any content for random unconventional rare ships that pop into my mind, I’ll have to make it myself. If only I had the time & energy. Oh well, I guess it’ll just stay in my head.

The height of my weekly watching was the FBI franchise, as you may have noticed, in particularly the spin-offs, in particularly, the FBI: Most Wanted spin-off. I actually meta-d about those sporadically as I went along.

So in short, FBI is more or less boring and I hate them going back and forth with propping OA up for positive ‘representation’ just to then make him bow down to the ‘way the job is done’, ugh. But Shantel van Santen did bring a bit of fresh air to the show at the end of the season.

FBI: International is what it is and I wrote about it before, but I was satisfied with the season ending (I only caught up today) re: Scott’s mum and as I said before, I am invested in these characters, so I’ll keep watching.

The new boss on FBI: Most Wanted also brought in a lot of fresh-air and as you’ve probably noticed I also got invested to the point of starting giffing again (some of which I still have to do, but see: time and & energy).

Although I’ve just learned Ivan’s leaving the show, WTF. Going like that, this show will be worse than LoT; only two original characters remaining already in S4.

But, again, I’m invested in the rest of them – I also really like Kristin and Hana and Barnes – so I’ll tune in for the next season.

Oh, yeah, I’ve also been watching Stalker, because of reasons. I still have 4 episodes left, but It’s very good, too bad there was just one season.

Phew. I think that’s all. I watched a few other things I believe I talked about in separate posts already.

[euphoricssentimentalist]

My most wonderful mutual @itwoodbeprefect tagged me to do this and I'm grateful since I love to ramble about myself kwjfjs

So,

Favorite color: blueeeee!!, but honestly I love almost every color and it depends on the mood to decide which one I'll choose or use or whatever

Currently reading: besides my 16 open ao3 tabs, I'm reading "The butterfly garden" by Dot Hutchison, which I haven't got the chance to read that much since school and more stuff has kept me pretty busy, but yeah, so far it's been engaging and I'm a sucker for psychos so I hope it's good.

Last song: Man, lately I've been going down a Rammstein spiral and oh baby Jesus I swear my family can't be more sweet about enduring my daily five hours blasting their songs at full volume. Last one I heard just a few minutes ago while finishing my homework was "Sonne" from the "Klavier" album and, seriously, if y'all feel like it you should check out the song, IT'S JUST *CHEF KISS*; I swear that whole album speaks directly to my soul, but this song in particular does something to me. The notes for the verses are so dark and intense, just like the original song, but at the same time it has this neat and elegant detail, and don't even get me started on the chorus part, because it really gives me the chills. Is so delicate and smooth and delightful I can not not fall in love with it.

Last series: Yesterday I couldn't sleep so I opened Netflix and played one of the first ones that appeared on recommendations. It was about a girl who pretends to be rich and plays the elite, I don't remember well the name but I think it was something with "Anna" in it lol

Sweet, savory, spicy: For what, exactly? Lmao. Uh... If we're talking food, for dessert obviously sweet. For food in general, bro, I'm Mexican, I eat spicy food all day every day, and I love it. As for savory, i guess sometimes?

Currently working on: Trying to perfectly schedule my days between school, study for a super important exam that is twisting my guts with the anticipation and getting back to practice with my guitar :(( it makes me real sad I don't have enough time to play again. I'm hoping on sparing some time next weekend and get acquainted with my baby again.

That's basically it :D

Now comes the part of tagging 9 other ppl

@redgoldblue @greyskylight @strohller27 @glowofthecities-below @asharogirl @sorry-i-spaced @jimmyandthegiraffes @morgan-the-lonely-brick @andtheywerelegends

Dudes, you always appear on my notifications and I love y'all for that, thanks for supporting this gay af blog full of useless but amazing posts. Feel free to reply to this or ignore it, either way you're in the winning team, besties

[randompurplepanthergorl]

Sharing my Bing and Larry headcanons cause A: I'm currently very attached to these characters out of the fucking blue and B: Why tf not

Not doing these in a specific order they are just there-

-

.Bing is non-binary, and they go by he/him and they/them

.Larry is a huge transmasc dude, yeah he's gone through all the surgeries and shit so you can't tell he was born a girl unless he DIRECTLY tells you or you look at his past photos, he was actually pretty large for a girl and Bing was the one who paid for all his surgerys

.Bing is Pansexual and Larry is Omnisexual and Demisexual

.Their heights are:

(Don't ask why I used Green and Yellow for their modals, also this is the height chart I used if you want it btw!)

.I have the same nationality headcanon for Larry that @/binbunbaka does, he's Melanesian (like Larry has dark skin and natural blond hair)

.Bing's posture is as straight as he is, which means he's always slouching or bending over backwards and he refuses to fix it

.Bing has literal RATS in his hair, like ACTUAL rats, Disney Ratatouille rats, Bruno from Encanto animal buddies rats, and he takes care of them like pets and names them

.Larry's voice is deeper than it is in canon, his canon voice is too high to sit correctly with me and my headcanon take on him so I just headcanon him with a deeper voice, same accent, same voice patterns, etc. it's just, deeper

.Bing's a rich dude actually, Larry is his bodyguard, Bing just hired Larry to be his bodyguard cause he was lonely and he knew him since kindergarten, and they eventually fell in love and got married :)

.Larry is a Harpy, he has two forms, his human form and his true form (for true form he turns into a biblically accurate Harpy not a giant bird, the accurate ones are cool bitch-) also his powers KINDA show in his human form, like he'll heal faster but not batshit fast/from lethal stuff unless burns in human form but in true form you straight up can't kill him unless burning him, ya know, like that, he can also do IRL Skyrim shouts in human form because in Harpy Form he can do a supersonic screech

.Bings a human unlike Larry, he's chaotic af he does not need a mythical form/hj That and I'm a huge sucker for "Normal ass human who has a Monster/Mythical/Non-Human friend/lover/partner/spouse (in Bing and Larry's case in my HC's, spouse)" troupe for some reason

.Larry thinks Bing doesn't know he's not human but nah, Bing knows, it's actually one of the reasons he married him/hj He just left Larry in he dark about his knowledge

.Larry constantly has to duck to get through the doorways, that's in his human form- If he's in his Harpy form and currently can't change back to the human one, you're gonna need a new doorway to get him through-

.Larry was born a Harpy, his parents where cursed to be Harpy's (They pissed off a witch or somth I haVEN'T WORKED OUT THE DETAILS YET-) so Larry ended up being a naturally born one-

.Larry hides the fact that he's a Harpy not because he fears being hunted- Oh fuck no he could hunt whatevers hunting him with that form- Just look at a description of his transformed form I did for a short AU fan EW ep rewrite I did (You can read here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38274643 (Would have put a hyperlink instead but Tumblr's being an asshat)) since I finished it before I actually posted this cause this is a screenshot from writing mode not view mode :p)

(But yeah now you also know what his Harpy form looks like, kinda)

He hides it because it tends to scare people, he doesn't actually mean harm unless it's necessary, or he's in a VERY bad mood though like he was in the fic

.Larry can change forms at will he just choses to only change if enraged or its necessary for battle, plus it's hard for him to change back unless he's 100% calm and focused which is hard to keep him at in Harpy form- Cause in that form he's constantly fearing he might actually accidently hurt someone he doesn't want too

.Larry can't speak in Harpy form, I mean he PROBABLY Could? But it would take focus, It'd strain the hell out of his vocal-chords and it sounds disoriented and horrifying in the form so he just doesn't bother with it

.Larry wears whore-boots, the thigh-high ones, we wears them because he was once dared to wear them for a day by Toni (clone OC), Mark and Matt, and he ended up liking them so now he wears them on the daily but hides them with his pants because he doesn't want anyone knowing he joined the whore-squad, the heels are actually also knifes and he seriously slays in them, both fashion-wise and LITTERALLY-

.Bing randomly sends random people the H a m p t e r meme

.When listening to "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from Encanto, or watching the movie and the song comes on Bing will yell out "R A T" or "R A T S" at the most random moments in the song like an example is:

Song: Seven foot-

Bing: rAT

Song: Rats along his-

Bing: RATS

Song: When he calls your-

Bing: rats

Song: It all fades to-

Bing: Rats

Song: Yeah he sees your-

Bing: RAts

Song: And feasts on your-

Bing: RATS

Song: We don't talk about-

Bing: RATS

Song: We don't talk about-

Bing: R A T S

Larry:

.After the events of Spares, Bing and Larry adopted all of the reject clones, Blue-Matt, Tora and Fera (Twin feminine Tom clones) and Toni/Tobi (Trigger Happy Tord clone) Even though Toni and Blue-Matt live with the main crew, they call them Dad (Larry) and Father (Bing)

.Bing "adopted" all the rats in his hair and keeps them as pets, he currently has ten of them

.Bing also has one pet Monkey, it's named Gorge

-

Uuuuuuhhhhh I think thats it?

[jrueships]

What wips do you have rn 👀 elaborate pspspspsp

Too many wips.. thats what I have rn.. too many...

WJBFJEBF so the ones I'm most focusing on rn is the spiderman! Donovan/royce au!! So far I wrote the whole exposition and I'm working on the 'enticing incident' LMFAO it's upgraded from my last summary so I have more to write because I'm insane but yeah! It's the one I want done the most but I'm also gonna go on a trip with my buds to this place without wifi for like? Four days so 😭 I might have to finish it there and wait forever until I can post it! And I'm still unsure about the ending!!! THE STRUGGLE

a shorter fic I have in mind still is the russell waiting for kd at a table for two but he never shows up fic! I just really like writing russell widjsbf but not much action happens there! Many just dialogue and a lot of pg fashion/life roasting from Russell's inner dialogue. He's very judgemental of people who give off douchebag frat bro vibes but can't help but feel intrigued by them JABFJWB oh and he makes fun of pg simping for gold diggers

The fics I have written partly but put back in the burner are my donovan/jaylen fic, marcus/giannis, pg/kawhi jealousy fic, pg/kawhi sm*t fic, pg/kawhi space au, and john/trae patroclus and Achilles au! Mainly because they're super long and I get nervous about writing them too much and wasting all my muse on one thing, so I get scared and back off 😭 but I'll tell u the basic summary of them!!

💙 donovan/jaylen fic is based off the idea of donovan going grocery shopping and getting all mad at the thought of the clippers LMFAO. Basically he's at a grocery store getting flowers for his sports medicine doctor for always putting up with his bullshit (never wanting to sit down and relax so he can actually heal. Playing through the pain). But as he shops, he keeps finding the simplest shit that reminds him of the clippers. Like he sees a claw machine and thinks about Kawhi and how collected that guy is, just chillin in the upper stands, while his team is facing a possible defeat. Donny gets all frustrated because like?? He can't just do that? Just sit back and chill while his team is playing without him? Donny HAS to help, has to GET OUT THERE!! kawhi Doesn't... but kawhi is the one who won a championship. And donovan starts doubting his leadership skills and if he's really good for his team.. if he let them down by being Too pushy and Too in their faces.

+ and then when he's getting a cute card to go with the flowers, he spots one that says "you're the man!!" And he thinks about terance Mann and his great game against them, how proud pg, basically his mentor, was of him. And it makes donovan think about his loss and how he couldn't get that same pride out of Dwyane Wade.

Overall, everything makes him feel useless af and he almost kicks a shelf out of anger. But he calms himself down and goes back to the flowers because he actually only got this little dinky green plant still struggling to bloom? He got it for himself because he felt bad for it LMAO but he still needs to get flowers for his sports medicine doctor. He's goes back to the flower section and who does he see? JAYLEN BROWN all gussied up in his depression fit LMFAO.. but they both are. Jaylen and him try to joke but they're both tired and awkward so it sucks IABDKSBD they basically just ask what the other is doing there. Jaylen is just traveling rn because he got nothin else to do IWBDKS but he bought Deuce a souvenir gift! And he asks Donovan if he can help him put it in his trunk (but really he doesn't need donovan's help. He can pick the toy up himself. He just knows that Donovan is too stubborn to accept help when he needs it but he'll always try helping others out! So he wants donny to think he's helping jaylen but in reality jaylen is trying to help HIm because at the car he invites Donovan to go meet up at a hotel with him where they kiss and have sad *** to make themselves feel better WKBFKSBX) that's basically it!!!! I have literally everything written but the *** scene they're literally my weakness.. I love the emotions they make but I hate.. describing the actions it takes to make them?? Idk I just feel cheesy writing it? It's very tedious and boring to actually crank my brain for a synonym to 'moan' because I'm tired of using that word but it's the only word that really applies to that situation without sounding weird, yknow?? Just very tedious

💙💙💙 OK so marcus/giannis idk bro like... it's just taking so long IWBKENF idk what to say except giannis makes a ton of small jokes at marcus

💙💙 OK so pg/kawhi jealousy fic... BASICALLY the plot is LeBron hosts some big rich guy party for the NBA because I need a reason to write all these people that live far apart interacting together OKAY??? But anyways it takes place after 2020 lakers winning the championship! Pg convince the clippers to come or else they'll look bad for being the only team not coming and they media will have a field day with them, so the clippers join the party. Basically everyone who later team up in 2021 are talking to eachother LMFAO like James hardon+kyrie+kd are talking while russell westbrook and beal are bonding over dance moves with a jealous John wall pouting in the corner. Obligatory Marcus and giannis interactions because I can. Kyle and demar are laughing together. It's all goood until LeBron waltzes over with his weird ass feet and starts talking to kawhi. Hes being all Handsome and Strong and lowkey flexing his win. Its starting to make pg suspicious so he keeps intruding upon the conversation. His inner dialogue is basically a ton of lebron hate KABFKWB. LeBron sometimes comments back to pg but ends up kinda tuning him outta the conversation and sly dissing him to kawhi like "how does it feel talking to someone who doesn't hit the side of the backboard lol"

Pg is starting to get nervous because he's trying to compete against LEBRON over who's the better teammate for kawhi.. and with his current playoff history.. he's not gonna win. He keeps trying to get kawhi out of the conversation, but lebron keeps drawing him back in and pg ends up giving up or he risks looking like an overbearing girlfriend.. So he slinks off in hopes of distracting himself. Originally, pg thought KAWHI would be the one standing all alone awkwardly in the room with no one to talk to, but it's slowly becoming HIM who's the lonely one LMFAO. He tries joining in bradley and Russ's conversation because HEY!! Everybody leaves russ! Russ must be SUUUPER lonely and DESPERATE for someone to talk to him‼ especially when his old ex durant is out there plotting with his two hydra heads!! paul thought, anyways, but finds out russ is actually having the time of his life clowning around with beal !! That just makes pg even more envious and he walks away with zero satisfaction of feeling superior JABDJSB he tries talking to John wall like "this party fuckin sucks bro" but John kinda barks at him and pg gives up. He tries talking to marcus and giannis but that was a mistake because the two smartiest smartasses in the room start roasting him together so he's shunned back to pretending like he's getting 700 thirsty women in his dms, AKA pretending like he got a text on his phone while he leans alone on a wall LMFAO. After glancing up periodically (and casually) to see if kawhi is still talking to lebron, he later gives up on playing popular and goes to hide in the bathroom like a fucking loser WHDJBFJEBD in summary he kinda broods and steams about how much he hates lebron and how he's 'so much better than him' and he's just thinking of petty insults against him to try and convince the kawhi in his mind not to leave him for lebron. He gets really mad and punches a mirror, but thank God lebron is playing bass boosted music so no one at the party hears it.

But, demar ends up knocking on the door. He needs to shit. So pg is like.. what do I do with this broken mirror and my bleeding hand.. so he tries to keep demar out and they banter and eventually demar notices its kinda weird for pg to be huddled up in the bathroom instead of partying.. he must be getting high or smthin. So he's like "that's fucking stupid. He can go get high in one of lebrons 700 rooms. Why The bathroom." So he just opens the door LANKDN and sees The Scene.

At first he's like "are u paying for that.." to which pg responds with "uhhh. I tripped and hit my head on it" (while clutching a bleeding fist) but then he realizes OHHH pg must be ... OH is he.. no.. he can't be limp wristed... blah blah they end up bonding over their funny situations: demar being jealous of kawhi and feeling like kyle thinks he sucks because of him. Pg being jealous of lebron and feeling like kawhi thinks he sucks because of him. Blah blah it's a bittersweet ending pg becomes a little less of a jerk blah blah I haven't finished it because I'm stupid and WEAK

💙💙💙💙 pg/kawhi space au is just too long I have to be in the mood to write it or I end up dismissing good details I could have included if i wasn't in such a burnt out mind!

💙💙💙 pg/kawhi sm*t fic I gotta be in the mood to detail the h*rny right 😭😭

💙💙💙 john/trae patroclus and Achilles is mainly just an idea but with no plot!

But yeah!!! Those are SOME of my wips!! This post is really long tho so I'll just shout out those!!!@ thank u for the interest tho that's so cute 😭😭😭 it helps me write more when I have a plot lined up to look off of and remember ideas so this is really helpful to me too!!! I'll be shocked if u read this far tbh!! But anyways THANK U ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS, ANON!!!!!

[magnusartandfactsstorage]

Season 4 @ EP135

Lol it’s been a while since I journaled everything down. 

Wellllll Season 3 certainly ended with a bang      *crickets*

I’m not going to do my past episodic journal, but here were just a few takeaways. Wow does Nikola sound creepy AF but I love it. Her voice actor did a spot on job at hitting that sing-songy light bouncy-yet-horrific doll, and the calliope straining in the background amongst the absolute wall of sound was brilliant. Backing it up a bit, I’m a sucker for the trope of EP117 Testament. I know its not like the rarest trope around by far, but i still love that calm before the storm tension before a finale kinda thing. For whatever reason, my first thought was the short scenes before the finale of Tokyo Ghoul S2. Still what a finale...like sure they stopped it, but it really hits hard how serious everything is.

Onto Season 4, I’m now 15 EPs in and gosh it has been such an adventure. Not even for the horror elements, but just that everything’s been So So So Depressing and Heavy. It breaks my heart to see all my babies torn apart. I hope Mel and Martin are gonna be ok. Basira’s holding on but you know its hard on her of course. It’s even more augmented by the many one-offs we got early on in the season, adding to the Lonely, disjointed State of Things—oddly appropriate for our current state of the world now ironically. I did like the connection back to some of the really early episodes, like giving us more about the Von Closen, Mary Keay, Jonah Magnus and Black Forest arc. Heavy goods with Breekon was also really fun. It gave us a really interesting peek into the entities side of things. While I like hearing more about the Daedalus Arc, holy cow that got dark real fast (pun intended 100%). 

I loved EP132. We got see bit more of Daisy��s “other side”, and even more so, it was still tense, but that for once, I really appreciated that it reminded us how they’re still there for each other... “not alone though...no. no, not alone...” and the whole mood of it was light a tiny spark of hope in that lightless place. Despite the general claustrophobia of it all, it just felt a lot more comforting than back in EP15 in Lost Johns’ Cave, which really got to me in a bad way. 

25 EPs til Season 5! Almost all caught up! Pondering new ideas for doodles as well of course. 

[tealalternian]

Current mood: Really fucking lonely.  Someone please talk to me.

I'm not joking, just lonely AF.

[littlwatergirl]

Jeden Tag …

[sheloveskitties]

Rules: Answer these 85 questions about yourself, then tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @despairofthefault :D

LAST:

1. Drink - Diet coke

2. Phone call - The doctor’s office a few weeks ago, to make an appointment.

3. Text message - The doctor’s office to confirm that appointment.

4. Song you listened to -  Before I Forget by Slipknot.

5. Time you cried - Last weekend. I’d hit my head on some wrought iron decoration thingy outside, and it fucking hurt :P

EVER:

6. Dated someone twice - Fuck no. I learn from my mistakes XD

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Yes.

8. Been cheated on - Multiple times :( 9. Lost someone special - Unfortunately yes.

10. Been depressed - I take antidepressants, so...

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - Yes, but just the once.

FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12. Purple.

13. Black.

14. Red.

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends - Just a couple on Tumblr.

16. Fallen out of love - Yes.

17. Laughed until you cried - Yes.

18. Found out someone was talking about you - No. I don’t think I’m important enough to be gossiped about.

19. Met someone who changed you - No.

20. Found out who your friends are - No. One of the pros of not having any friends is not having to worry about who your friends are/aren’t.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - My ex.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? - Three.

23. Do you have any pets? - My cat, Idris.

24. Do you want to change your name? - I would if I could get people to completely forget my old name.

25. What did you do for your last birthday? - Just a bit of shopping.

26. What time did you wake up today? - 7:30am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? - Tossing and turning, trying but failing miserably to sleep.

28. What is something you can’t wait for? - To get a good job, and rent/buy my own little flat somewhere.

29. Ghost question... WhoooooOOOOooooOOoooooooOooo

30. What are you listening to right now? - In This Moment’s cover of Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - Not that I can recall.

32. What’s something that gets on your nerves? - When people constantly tap/whistle/make stupid, annoying noises, when people can’t do anything without talking constantly... Basically noisy people are my main pet peeve.

33. Your most visited website? - Tumblr and YouTube... The Steam app too, if that counts as a website

34. Hair colour? - Ginger.

35. Long or short hair? - Currently short, but I’m in the process of growing it out long again.

36. Do you have a crush on someone? - Most definitely, but I’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of getting anywhere with any of them XD

37. What do you like about yourself? - Not a damn thing. 38. Do you want any piercings? - I’d like to get my tongue and labret pierced again.

39. Blood type? - A+, I think?

40. Any nicknames? - Whatever stupid names my parents insist on calling me. I hate nicknames.

41. Relationship status? - Single AF. I think I’m destined to die a lonely, old spinster with 500 cats.

42. Star sign? - Taurus.

43. Pronouns? - She and her.

44. Favourite TV shows - I’m currently watching and really enjoying Dark Tourist.

45. Any tattoos? - None. 46. Right or left handed? - Right.

47. Ever had any surgeries? - I’ve had my tonsils and gallbladder removed.

48. Any piercings? - Not anymore.

49. Favourite sport? 

50. Favourite vacation? - I’ve been to the Gold Coast in Australia... That was pretty cool.

51. Favourite trainers? - As in shoes? I wear lace up boots.

MORE GENERAL:

52. Currently eating? - A yoghurt and muesli thingy.

53. Currently drinking? - There’s an open bottle of soda water next to me on my dresser.

54. I’m about to watch - The second Jackass. I feel shitty, and I’m in the mood for silly humour XD

55. Currently waiting for? - The weekend.

56. Currently wanting? - To lose weight, to find love.

57. Marriage? - If I’m fortunate enough to find someone who’ll have me.

58. Career - My ideal job would be reading books, drinking tea and occasionally telling someone to fuck off XD

WHICH IS BETTER?

59. Hugs or kisses? - Hugs.

60. Lips or eyes? - Both.

61. Shorter or taller? - Either.

62. Older or younger? - Preferably the same age or older, but I don’t mind a bit younger so long as I’m not on babysitting duty XD

63. Nice arms or stomach? - Happy and healthy both.

64. Hookup or relationship? - Relationship.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant? - I like a good person who has a cheeky streak :P

HAVE YOU EVER?

66. Kissed a stranger? - I had my first kiss stolen from me by a stranger.

67. Drank hard liquor? - Yes, but not anymore.

68. Lost your glasses? - No, thank god. Shit’s expensive.

69. Turned someone down? - Yes, although if I’d known things would end up the way they did, I’d have taken them up on their offer and fucked the other person off.

70. Sex on first date? - No.

71. Broken someone’s heart? - Not intentionally.

72. Had your heart broken?- Multiple times.

73. Been arrested? - No.

74. Cried when someone died? - Yes. I’m not completely unfeeling.

75. Fallen for a friend? - No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...?

76. Yourself? - No.

77. Miracles? - No.

78. Love at first sight? - Maybe for others, not for me.

79. Santa Claus? - Not anymore lol.

80. Kiss on a first date? - If the moment is right.

81. Angels? - I’m not sure.

OTHER

82. Best friend’s name? - I don’t have any friends.

83. Eye color - Blue.

84. Favourite movie? - The Crow and Elvira: Mistress of the Dark.

85. Favourite actor? - Johnny Depp and Kate McKinnon.

I tag @lavender-layne, @neon-flamingo, @theblankstate and @drunken-ferry-brawl if they wish to do this.

[thegrim-beeper]

I was tagged by the lovely @vulpesinastra (thank u!! xxx)

Rules: we’re snooping on your playlist. set your entire library on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up, then choose 10 victims.

• Humility - Gorillaz

• Doom and Gloom - The Rolling Stones

• Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

• Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine

• Mr Brightside - The Killers

• Only My Mind - Jon Walker

• Never Wanted to Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence

• Goodnight Socialite - The Brobecks

• We’ve Got a Situation Here - The Damned Things

• Kiss My Sass - Cobra Starship

Single or taken: single af

Who are you dating: lol no one im lonely

Full name: can’t tell u that but i can tell you my middle name is marie

Nickname: Son? 

Battery percentage: 15%

Do you miss your last relationship: not really much experience to go on in that department lmao

Ex you would take back: god why am I so boring no one likes me enough to date me ashdgahkjsfdhsd

Crush’s name: hoo boi that list would be too. long.

iPhone or Android: ANDROID ALL THE WAY

Last person I texted: @euneieroprenia - I sent her a picture of a baby goat

Last song I heard: Carpal Tunnel of Love - Fall Out Boy

Best guy friend: @priggerz ! a good lad

Girl best friend: wow these are strict gender binaries but @euneieroprenia or @foxglove-honey !! thems gals are the lights of my life

Biggest fear: GOD its a draw between being underground and tomatoes

Favourite colour: Burgundy!

Favourite movie: Thor: Ragnarok orrr Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Favourite food: these super good chilli and garlic scotch eggs they do at work they are the best food in the entire world!!!!!!

Favourite anime: i used to be super into anime omg it feels like ages ago BUT Yu Yu Hakusho is by far the best

Favourite animal: painted dogs or marbled polecats (FUN FACT: the genus for marbled polecats is “vormela” which comes from the German word “würmlein” WHICH MEANS LITTLE WORM!!!!!)

Height: 5′5″

Dream job: some type of livestock technician or geneticist?

Current mood: fucking RELIEVED college is finally over but also mentally exhausted!

Thanks for the tag!!! I cannae be bothered to tag a load of people so I tag @burnt-churro-boi @not-the-punk @priggerz @euneieroprenia @foxglove-honey and @thirteen13stuff

[flightlessbone]

1. What do you hate about people

- Their greed, and how they romanticize their toxic traits.

2. Who are you waiting for

- My death

3. Are libraries, malls, bookstores dying

- As of the moment, yes. We are currently fucked to the point that breathing outside is deadly af.

4. What is your favourite memory

- When I was 0 month old, when I know nothing.

5. What memory are you afraid to lose

- I'm kinda suck at remembering good memories, the more I keep it the more I just forget about them.

6. Do you feel lonely in the city

- I am a lonely person, wherever I go is a lonely place for me. But in the city, I'm extra lonely, no shit.

7. Where is society going

- Going nowhere, norms and shits should illegalized.

8. What disappoints you most about the world

- The people living in it.

9. What do you think about when you look at the sky

- I wish I could fly, and handpaint the clouds in my own colors.

10. Sunsets or sunrises

- Sunsets, id rather wait for the end than wait for another beginning.

11. Do you think the arts can save people

- Yes, it's just the people who can't save art for fuck sake.

12. How does the arts hurt people

- By having connection to it, the deeper the better the ruins.

13. What do you fear losing

- My little last hope saying "do all the things you want to do before dying, fuck them people. if you die, you die with full experience"

14. Do you believe in fate, or is everything just a coincidence

- I believe that everything is the result of what we do, what we choose, and what we failed to do and choose.

15. Do you panic easily

- Not really, I'm a laid back person that even everything's falling apart around me I just watch it.

16. Do you save the best for last

- No, I make sure to do the best first, I won't let "best" steal the role of "regret". (as you know, regret is always at the end)

17. What does it mean for something to be worth it

- When you give importance to it, then it's worth it. If it has a great value to you, then it's worth it. Worth is beyond what we can see and afford to.

18. Who from your past would you want to meet again

- Jesus ( when i was a fetus they call me blessing from god)

19. Which parent are you closer to

- My mom compared to my dad

20. If you could change anything about how you were raised what would it be

- Raised with non-toxic environment, no child traumas, opposite to how I was raised now.

21. If you’re in a bad mood do you prefer to be alone or with someone

- Alone or with someone, it doesn't matter since I don't talk it out or act out, imma just stay still like nothing exists.

22. Do you believe in second chances

- No, we always leave a scar or a little defect when we make mistakes. that isn't a second chance, that is luck.

23. How does moving affect you

- Tiring

24. Language or music

- Music

25. Most exciting thing that happened to you this year

- Got drunk 1 week straight???

26. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be

- Id make sure all those who take advantage of one country's wealth and nature's wealth will be vanished from this world.

27. Describe one of your darkest, taboo thoughts

- Id kill our corrupt government

28. Is home a place or a feeling

- It's a feeling

29. Have you ever had dreams about a past life, what would your past life be like

- Yes, my past life was shit tbh since I never had a good one in the past

30. Hello or goodbye

- Close the door before you leave

31. Would you rather love or be loved

- To love

32. How do you define beauty

- Me

33. Compared to happiness, how important is truth and reality

- Like a venom in every venomous snake.

34. Do you find it easy to manipulate people

- Yes, stupid fucks.

35. Where does happiness come from

- From our own appreciation of what we have, what and who we are, and acceptance of what will may be.

36. Do you believe yourself to be truly free

- Yes, maybe not now but soon enough

37. Sea or land

- Land, i dont like getting wet that much especially by the sea since it's too salty it can dry up your skin.

38. Are you easily persuaded

- No, as much as I want to, but no.

39. When is lying important

- Everytime your parents question your whereabouts.

40. Does a person’s name influence who they become

- Depends

41. How much does language affect our thinking

- Too much to the point that we can no longer put our thoughts into words even if we are very fluent in the language we are using.

42. Are you sacrilegious

- I dont even know wtf that is

43. Do you find it hard to let go

- Sometimes

44. Why do we romanticize pain

- To manipulate ourselves into thinking that it has purpose, and that it's normal to be in pain.

45. Are you more responsive to eye contact or touch

- Eye contact

46. Does distance make the heart grow fonder

- No? I tried distancing a lot and it's just nothing

47. Do you ever think about the memories you can’t remember

- Sometimes when I got tired of overthinking about the memories I can remember.

48. What was a friendship you wish you could’ve still kept

- Nothing, i think the right friend for you right now doesn't mean still a right friend for you tomorrow. We all change, and changes make us incompatible.

49. Does the truth set you free

- From guilt? Yes. But from pain and overthinking? Depends.

[xylianna]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I have had a lot of rum today and will totally star for star with you....of course I will probably be sober by the time you get to this... MORNING RUM IT IS!!!!

48 STARS?   SERIOUSLY DO YOU WANT MY LIFE STORY?  CAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET IT.

1. my first pet was a rabbit named Carmel

2. my first cat was a yellow tabby named Orlith (Moreta’s queen dragon in the Dragonriders of Pern books)

3. my other two cats have been named Wolf and Lynx.  Wolf is my old lady cat, 18 years old.  Lynx I had to rehome when I moved a few years ago.  Orlith died years ago, the poor thing.

4. I learned how to hunt because I live in an area that is THE THING and also animals are tasty. I spent hours tracking a damn pheasant on my first hunt but because of my shitty eyesight/lack of depth perception, couldn’t see it, so my dad shot it. He still credited me with the kill since I tracked it.

5. I like to go fishing, if by fishing you mean “sit on the boat and read a book because its pretty on the water”

6. I like spreadsheets a little too much. Google Sheets means I can have them EVERYWHERE.

7. I love to sing, and its the one thing I’m actually a bit arrogant about. At least, I feel like its arrogance. Maybe its just being truthful? I have a really good voice. I trained it for a lot of years.  it’s one of the few things I can do that almost always lifts my mood.

8. I hadn’t seen any live concerts in ages, and then in 2016 I saw Final Fantasy A New World and the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses

9. I have next to no confidence in anything outside my singing and it still boggles my mind that people like my writing. this isn’t me fishing for compliments, I’m honestly astounded. I read other people’s stuff and I’m blown away that those same people like mine, when theirs is just so fucking amazing.

10. sometimes I go anywhere between a day or a week without contacting anybody just to see if anyone bothers to talk to me if I don’t reach out first.  the results usually make me more sad than before I tried. and make me question most my ‘friendships’.

11. I’ve been single for two years and I kinda hate it, but don’t expect it to change anytime soon. part of the reason is i’m picky AF.  most of the reason is I have little to no social life.

12. I’m pagan and I am deeply spiritual but I generally don’t discuss it at all if I’m not asked by a close friend, because to me spirituality and religion is DEEPLY personal

13. I have never slept with a woman who hasn’t decided afterwards that she’s straight. this is probably why I’ve dated so few women. while logically I know there’s no correlation between my performance and their declarations (especially as my more recent ex-gf is dating another woman now), its still a pretty big ego blow.

14.  Sorry I just answering this to sing for like 10 minutes.   Currently trying to type while singing “Missing” by Evanescence.  ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!

15. i hate going to movies alone and will actively buy people tickets just so I don’t have to

16. I hate cooking for just me when my son isn’t home, so instead I tend to batch cook and freeze a bunch to enable lazy dinners down the road

17. I’m a really good cook :D

18. Tomorrow I play D&D! I play once a month with a small group of family and friends. This is the third group I’ve had for the same campaign and I don’t think I’ll ever see the end at this rate, haha.

19. I also play WoW.  In WoW, I play Xylianna, the Paladin.  In D&D I play a Fighter.  I like swords okay?

20. work sucked this week but I have rum now :D

21. I had cancer when I was 17.   In 2 months will be my 18th anniversary of being cancer free. I celebrate that more than my birthday, or my wedding anniversary before I was divorced.  Nothing gets you to pare the bullshit out of your life faster than getting that diagnosis, let me tell you.

22. HOW THE FUCK AM I ONLY ON NUMBER 22 WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME *gets a third drink*

23. In my local kink community, my ‘scene name’ is one of my first OTP’s.

24. If 23 didn’t warn you, I’m going to talk about BDSM now. I’m a switch insofar as I’ll top without any real hint of dominance since I LOATHE the responsibility of being a dom.  Iggy in Discretion/What Would Happen is totally based off me, because I vastly prefer to give over control since my entire fucking life is me running everything. I run my dept at work, I run my house, I run my gaming group, I run my karaoke group.  Sometimes I just need a break okay?

25. also gimme dat pain

26. and I’ll give you some, too, because I enjoy service topping

27. Consent is Sexy, okay?   I go out of my way to portray consent being constantly re-established in my bdsm fics particularly, because its never okay to assume that just because I was allowed to do X last week, its okay to do X this week. I mean obviously in an established relationship, it would be different, but even then CONSENT AND COMMUNCATION, SO FUCKING SEXY

28. I wish I could play a string instrument. I bought a guitar and tried to learn it but it turns out I am not good at teaching myself something so different from what I already know, haha.  Chords  are confusing to me for some reason. Or I made them more confusing than they had to be.

29. I am embarrassed to admit how many years its been since I picked up one of my clarinets.  I wish I could find a local ensemble to join, but, that would mean reaching out and asking and aahhhhhh *hides*

30. I would also totally lose my shit if I could find a choral group to join that wasn’t attached to a Christian church. no offense at all to christian churches, but I feel a bit dishonest joining a group connected to a faith I don’t share, you know?

31. when I go to xmas eve church with my mom at her church, my brother-in-law’s mother does indeed make me join choir for that night, and its great!

32. i’m intensely lonely most of the time but I pretend i’m not because indulging in the feeling won’t change anything. and tbh part of it is my fault for isolating myself.

33. I have chronic severe depressive disorder coupled with a side of anxiety. So I feel like shit, and I worry about it, LOL

34. Prior to November 2017 NaNoWriMo, I hadn’t written in over 10 years, save for a couple 300ish word short stories.

35.  part of me is terrified certain family members will find my AO3/Tumblr. I actually talked to my psychologist about this fear at my last appointment. We agreed that if they go to so much trouble as to find my internet alter ego, they deserve to be offended by my work. Fuck ‘em.

36. just once I wish I could feel the support I give my family given to me. I have one supportive family member and its not even blood. my brother-in-law is my best friend, for real.  my Warder (if you follow WoT), bonded in balefire.  I wish the rest of my family would care about me, but I’m working on accepting they just won’t.

37. I love learning languages for the same reason I love studying music, and I love writing - my goal is to communicate as effectively as possible, make people really understand, and the more avenues open to me the better

38. when I get a little drunk, I forget English and speak a mashup of Spanish, German, and Japanese

39. I have to go to karaoke tomorrow night for the first time since I was sexually harassed at karaoke last October, and I’m kinda terrified

40. I get very down on myself when I realize in my writing I do no world building and very little serious plotting. I basically write angst, or love, or smut. I’m trying to be okay with that, but I admit I feel like I don’t do a good enough job.

41. wow way to kill the mood, Xy.   honestly, if anyone is still reading this, you get a fucking medal.  i’m not that interesting, and I probably should have stopped writing this long ago.

42. I really wish life would give me a fucking break, you know?  but that’s not how it works.  you gotta make your own breaks, and I’m too gods-damned tired to try at present.  Maybe I’ll try later this year.

43. I wish I lived alone. Ironic, since I’m lonely 99% of the time.  But having a roommate isn’t the same as having companionship and sometimes I just want to not listen to someone else’s blaring TV or have someone else walk thru the house while I’m writing at the table or have someone comment on my singing (even if its complimentary)

44. WOW I GOT DEPRESSED LETS LIGHTEN THINGS UP SHALL WE?  I love apple scented shit.

45.  I own at least 10 pairs of kitty ears, and two tails.  In fact I am wearing ears to karaoke tomorrow.  Meow.

46.  I want the relationship I write for Gladnis in my Discretion series BUT I’M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH FAM

47.  my son is 8 yrs old and he’s honestly the best thing i’ve done with my life, and he is the thing I am most proud of, even topping my joy in beating cancer

48.  in 2016 I lost 120 pounds.  in 2017 i gained 30 back.  in 2018… we’ll see.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HARD I DESERVE MORE RUM NOW OKAY