#cunning plan

[vitamin-zeeth]

RAVWAR FINALE NIGHT BINGO!!!!!!!

Feel free to use!!

[thereallovebug]

We’re on to you, Neil Gaiman!

After having the conversation multiple times about how many people (myself included) had stopped writing for years until the Sandman on Netflix came along and grabbed us by the neck.

And after watching the screaming reactions to Good Omens season 2, (and all the meta and analysis and thoughts about plot structure, and suggestions for what makes sense for season 3.)

I have decided that Neil Gaiman's secret agenda is not the screaming or the angst.

I think his secret agenda is to make us all WRITE.

[evilhorse]

We have a cunning plan!

[davescumbag]

baldrick>>>

what has he got

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Nie Huaisang during the final battle at Guanyin Temple:

[lulublack90]

Prompt 11 - Smoke

@jegulus-microfic September 11, Word count 74

James was not a smoker. He didn’t like the taste, the smell or the heavy feeling it brought to his athletic lungs. But when he caught Regulus Black out of the corner of his eyes, standing with a group of friends with the thin stick between his long, delicate, porcelain fingers, he knew he’d inhale every smoke-filled kiss that boy would give him. He just needed a plan now to get what he wanted.

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

[borgialucrezia]

honestly marketing couldn't get cuntier than that

[sunshinelivesforever]

Jude Duarte would win the Hunger Games.

[third-king-of-salmonids]

UPDATE ON JOE JR, THE WORK EXPERIENCE SMALLFRY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE UNFORTUNATELY TAKEN A LIKING TO ME:

THUMBS CREATURE TOOK HIM TO A ANCIENT HUMAN CULTURE FESTIVAL FOR ENRICHMENT AND COD HELP ME HE CAME BACK WORSE NOW HES A GAMER

[ice-feast]

This episode has revealed that, yup, Jace is part of the Conspiracy of the season - but I don't think he's the mastermind behind it all. What would Jace gain from all this? His entire character is being chill. Why would he suddenly want responsibility? He intentionally teaches the subject with the least information to teach!

I don't think he's the mastermind.

I think it's Arianwen Abernant.

Ragh didn't just see Jace talking to Kalina. Arianwen was there too.

Everyone, including the Intrepid Heroes, is taking it for granted that Arianwen is still being chased around the Forest of the Nightmare King by a van with hands. But does the Forest of the Nightmare King still even exist? The forest of Sylvaire does, but Cassandra is no longer the Nightmare King. Her forest has become that soft twilit woods Kristen has visited a few times (and now contains a manticore). Even if Arianwen was meant to remain trapped in there (chased by a van with hands), Arianwen's punishment was hardly Cassandra's first priority. Getting new followers and not dying again was very much Cassandra's preoccupation. Arianwen could have escaped.

It's been a while since I watched Sophomore Year, but weren't the Abernants sent to Solace partially to separate Arianwen from her research into the Nameless Goddess? She could have learnt then that the Nameless Goddess had a forgotten wife. Anything the Bad Kids discovered could also have been discovered by Arianwen, an adult woman who didn't have the distractions of school and being a teenager taking her from her research.

What's more, wasn't Arianwen's motivation for helping the Nightmare King having him use his power for vengeance on Falinel? Falinel stripped the Abernants of their position and imprisoned Aelwyn. Arianwen cannot conceive of any of her actions being wrong. ("I was very warm and loving," she tells Adaine, the child she neglected and abandoned, without any trace of doubt. She also killed that guy to get into the Nightmare Forest, so we know she'll kill to achieve her goals, but tbh I find that less revealing than her reaction to Adaine's recounting of the abuse she's suffered.)

And now it's worse! She has no position of power, she has no magic, both her daughters turned on her, and one of those daughters punched Arianwen's husband to death. Isn't that unfair? Isn't that an injustice? Doesn't that make you angry?

If you fail to use one forgotten god in your revenge plot, you can always try again...

[lilliesofinspirationvalley]

Cunning Hares Headcanons

First of many posts sharing my personal interpretations on ZZZ characters and their dynamics!

Nicole Demara - 27-28, Mexican/Indian, trans woman, sapphic

Anby Demara - 19, Filipino, demigirl (enby Anby rights), aroace spectrum, definitely has autism.

Billy Kid - 27-28 (at least with physical/mental age… there’s a very reasonable chance he’s been active for a long or short period of time), Argentenian (idc if he’s a robot, he’s latino in my heart), bisexual, inherently got some genderqueerness by being a robot but primarily male/masc, and sentience gave him adhd /hj

Nekomata (Nekomiya Mana) - 15, Black/Japanese, sapphic, potentially has adhd and/or autism (she hasn’t really looked into it much)

Billy doesn’t like rock music (that much anymore) because it was all the Sons of Calydon played on the road. All the time. So he (understandably) needs a break from it.

While we’re on the subject, I’m so curious about classical music putting him to sleep. Does he mean standard “lullaby songs” like Clair de Lune or Sugarplum Fairy? Or would this guy conk out to a Dies Irae? Classical/orchestral music has. A very very wide range.

This is technically more related to Sons of Calydon, and we can’t really say who he does/doesn’t know in the gang yet (Caeser for sure, most likely Piper— Burnice and Lighter are kinda up in the air, but they probably know our silly android man too… and I’m betting Lucy is the newest member? There’s a chance they could know each other— like she joined and he left a little after). But!!! He was often sent out to get booze for the gang because everyone mistakes Piper for a high schooler. Even with a proper ID.

So far the only instance of Billy’s guns “talking” a la Liz and Patty Thompson is from his combat promo video and that’s it… I really really hope we get more elaboration on that at some point. But for now! He totally named them: Annie (the more demure personality) and Jane (the less enthused one)

Unless canon reveals something that makes this completely go out the window… Nicole used to be a defense attorney. Because a briefcase as a weapon is a very lawyer coded trait, you need to have a pretty solid understanding of laws to run a business— especially more legally ambiguous ones like an odd job agency, and y’know. Law school debt.

It’s a big part of why she involves herself in representing Canvas Street against Vision as well!! Though she’s not an attorney again by a long shot— for one, she’s on the prosecuting side against Vision, and she lost her attorney license years before starting Gentle House. But the point still stands that Elle Woods, Mia Fey, and Phoenix Wright walked so Nicole Demara could run

Most humanoid/half(?) thirens are born with animal ears and tails— but there are several genetic exceptions to this standard. Nekomata, for example, has cat ears… and cat feet. Without her special boots and mechanical tails to keep her balanced, it’s incredibly difficult for her to even stand up. In other words, she’s a disabled icon.

Understandably, it takes her a long time to feel comfortable/safe enough in places to keep bare feet. Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you’re an embarrassed little teenage thiren), all of the Cunning Hares can pick up Nekomata and carry her around no problem! They’re more than happy to do this (and/or just get stuff for her) if she doesn’t have her boots on at home.

Nekomata gets very snuggly and affectionate when she’s asleep. She likes to lay with all her teammates at different times, but the most frequent victim is Billy. I mean c’mon, he’s a walking heater.

Billy: We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!

Nekomata: Nope!!! Don’t remember!!! Didn’t happen!!

Anby occasionally gets ptsd nightmares from her days in the defense force. It used to be a lot more severe when she just joined Nicole… and by force of habit, Anby sneaks into her room the most. Billy and Nekomata catch her drinking tea in the middle of the night sometimes though, and promptly set up a pillow fort on the couch for everyone to hang out in so Anby doesn’t feel so alone.

Nicole: What are you guys doing making so much noise????

Billy: Shut your mouth and get in the pillow fort, Boss.

Nekomata has a collection of fidget items. It’s got every thing from puzzle cubes to random pieces of string. Honestly I could see her picking up crochet, kumihimo (cord weaving), and/or other textile hobbies to keep her hands busy.

The other three have all tried the flashlight thing™️ with her. It works a little too well (Like “Duke do you want the ball?” too well— she just flies across the room).

Anby, much like her interest in movies, has a very wide range of music she likes. It’s anybody’s guess as to what she’s listening to at a given time.

Nicole: Wow, Anby’s really focused right now… I wonder what she’s listening to?

Anby’s headphones: 🎶 Life is like a hurricaaaane here in! Duckberg! 🎶

Nicole has so much rabbit themed stuff. Plushies, little figures, definitely some scarves and hats, etc. Most of them are gifts from people she’s known in the past, along with the other CH of course.

Nicole and Nekomata would play Animal Crossing together, Billy would freaking love the Kirby series, and I think Anby would really enjoy Miitopia/Tomodachi Life

Billy’s definitely the most proficient gamer of the team. Fighting games, racing games, what have you… he’s won most matches, sometimes without even meaning to. Nicole and Nekomata argue he’s “cheating” because he’s literally got a computer for a brain… and if Billy responds with something akin to “git gud,” his ass is getting tackled.

We know from when Billy appears at the arcade after you played a little, he supposedly has moments where he’s “cursed” and doesn’t play as well with the CH— I don’t know if performance anxiety has anything to do with it (he’s really not the type)— but given Nicole’s association with divination, Nekomata’s inherent connection to yokai and Japanese supernatural, and the CH’s luck motif in general… it’s very funny to think that they “manifest” periods where they can beat him at games. I think if Billy found out, he’d be a little miffed they were trying to nerf him but… honestly it’s really funny and he’s a good sport. They’ll probably stop once he actually knows, though. Anby has literally no part in this, she just finds it entertaining /hj

Anby has to try a burger from literally every restaurant she goes to if it serves them. Practically a connoisseur at this point, though it’s rare for her to find a burger she doesn’t like (unless it’s like. Raw meat or something).

Forgive me for the Soul Eater coming out again, but I’m so fascinated by Nekomata’s socks saying tsubaki on them. And the flower buttons and stuff in her design in general. The flower in general representing devotion. Red camellias (tsubaki in Japanese) represent being in love, or perishing with grace. Yellow represent longing. White represent waiting. “A flower without fragrance. When the petals fall, it is silent and tragic.” There’s so much we can unpack about all of this with our catgirl.

Anby and Billy do it the most, but they all have silly quips of quoting different movie/tv show/internet media lines. They all kinda learn about different stuff through this osmosis.

Nekomata was the most hesitant to warm up to Billy because he reminds her a lot of Miguel Silver. I know we don’t have much about Silver in canon, but… Very competent and can be genuinely threatening, but also a lot more emotional and sentimental than most people would probably expect. I was surprised and kinda endeared when Silver was introduced sobbing and all dramatic as he spoke lmao.

I don’t think she fears a fallout like RFG happening again (at least, it’s not a major anxiety). The fact the CH committed to helping Canvas Street without a second thought is enough proof to her that they’re really not the types to be morally corrupted and all that. But… running into someone who reminds you of a past relationship— but who’s like. Better morals or more well-adjusted or whatever. That feels. So weird. It makes Nekomata think about what could’ve been. Why did her adoptive father become such a hypocrite— how is a robot more sincere about values than he was?

She definitely warms up to Billy a lot more by Ch 3/Ballet Twins stuff. I think it’d be sweet if she talked about her grief with him— Nicole and Anby too, tbh. Even if she separated herself once things weren’t sitting right with her (which takes so much internal strength), Silver was still her dad. She probably found out about his fate in the news broadcast at the very beginning of the game…

Yeah that's definitely also another reason why she clings to Billy the most in her sleep too. She misses her papa,,, and you tend to go towards the familiar and all that.

Anby keeps a small journal of letters to Soldier 11 (or Eleven, as I like to call her). Movie reviews/analysis, reports on commissions, snippets of her domestic life with the others… it acts more like a diary than actual letters she’ll send out. But Anby truly wishes she can share all of the joy and freedom she’s found with Eleven someday. Both in all the stories and helping her experience it too,

I’m a firm believer Anby and Eleven are twins— Burnice definitely has a connection to them too given her own little pack thing… but she also has more blondish hair and looks/acts a little older than them??? So probably not exact triplets or maybe not even biological sisters. But some sort of Huey, Dewey, and Louie grouping would be hilarious

I feel like Nicole is. Very into astrology, horoscopes, tarot cards... online quizzes. We know from one of Anton's trust events that she dabbles in fortune telling for quick cash, but honestly I feel like the others gotta hold her back from doing that more often because it drives them nuts. She's tried to get them in on it but... they're not very good at it. Anby's descriptions are just movie tropes, Nekomata gets distracted by the cards and other trinkets used, and Billy can't keep all the symbolism straight for the life of him.

Nekomata clearly has some education, likely from the RFG/potentially her orphanage... but given she's a street kid, even now (more lowkey) with the CH, it might be a minute until she gets into high school. I don't know if she'd even be that interested in school... probably curious to try it but she'd get so bored so fast lmao. Regardless, Nicole and the others would probably want to help her enroll.

Nekomata when socializing and learning stuff in class: Ok yeah! I can get used to this! Nekomata when she has to do homework: WTF THIS SUCKS

But she more or less gets straight As like the smart lil kitty she is. She asks the others for help/overview fairly often, though.

“Billyyyyyy” 

“I’m not an generative AI, I can’t do your homework for you. Besides that’ll get you into loads of trouble for. Several reasons.” 

“I’m not asking that!! You know more about Outer Ring than I do— can you check if my research for this project is accurate so far?” 

“… Oh yeah, sure!”

Anby is usually the first person to be ready to leave, while Nicole is… the last. You can tell these two are sisters because they always bicker about it /lhj. (Note to myself to make an animatic of these two to this very fun song)

While the CH all share a tv and gotta chart out times for it, they also have group movie nights! Usually they’ll watch really bad movies they can all laugh at and make fun of together. This is where a good chunk of their inside jokes come from. 

Nicole loves to give Anby and Nekomata manicures! She would give them to Billy too, but whatever polish she tries will come off immediately. Anby and Nekomata tend to have theirs chip off fairly quickly too rip

Nekomata moved into Anby’s room when she joined the CH— they’re the youngest and Anby had the most space. While the two had a lot of tension in Ch 1, and some of that can still carry over sometimes, they’re actually pretty good roommates! 

Her whole scene with Billy in the prologue was her attempt at humor to cope with stress (plus finding Billy probably relieved her a lot)… but she struggles with knowing appropriate times. Given Anby has also joked about becoming a monster and tried to nom Billy’s hand (“Rawwwwr”), I don’t think this is too out there lol.

[falling-star-cygnus]

Another Billy angst idea:

Anby isn’t able to block the attack the Dead End Butcher made towards Billy near the end of chapter one, and he gets badly injured as a result.

to the surprise of absolutely no one, i cried myself sick the other day [9/13/24] BUT I'M BACK ON MY BULLSHIT NOW BABYY -> i'm fine, by all accounts, it was just dehydration and nausea dw :D

this is the oldest request in my log, and it's over a month old, so i sincerely apologize for keeping you waiting :{

i hope you all enjoy!!!

"Take 'em out in less than 10 seconds with a flying kick!"

Anby never understood how Billy had so much energy during their raids. It was infectious, bright in the way it soothed that constant fluttering in her chest that drove the weapon to observe, observe, observe-

Billy had horseshoes on the heels of his sneakers.

Is what Anby chose to focus on instead.

"They won't even have time to play their theme song!" the android prattled on, striking a pose that looked straight out of comic book with the way the purple lightning glinted off his plating.

Purple-?

There was no thunder, no pleasing smell of ozone, no crash as the lighting hit the ground. Her sword filled in the blanks.

"Behind you-" "Billy-!"

cRrk.

Oils splatters against her cheek.

"My... predictions were.. out- ...predicted.."

thump.

Anby can't breathe.

She's stuck, rain plip-plip-plipping against her useless nose and hands and her body that couldn't even raise her sword in time to-

"You big dummy!" Nicole screeches, somewhere behind the frozen girl, and she agreed.

Dumb. Slow- stupid, every synonym out there wouldn't be enough to properly convey just how badly the weapon had fucked up.

Her- It's best friend was laying there. On the ground. And here it was staring at the sky with a useless sword.

"This not the time for end credits, Billy! Wake up."

The android remains motionless, with his life staining Nicole's skin and shirt and Amillion and the weapon's pretty sure the heels of it's high tops.

crEak.

Cold fingers- mechanical fingers- wrapped themselves around it's ankle.

"Bre- eathe.. Anby..."

Her sword clattered against the ground.

"I'm sorry," the smaller Demara is by his side like a fly on a shiny piece of fruit, chest heaving with the ability to take in air again, "Billy-"

He looks terrible.

A giant- amalgamation of street signs and lights and engines and blades lay embedded in his chest and lower stomach, greedily spilling his life into the crack it forms below his figure.

If they didn't get him out of here soon-

thump.

Billy's hand released her ankle- warm yellow eyes nothing but carved glass.

With two handfuls of bright red leather, the weapon sheds tears for the first time in nearly two decades.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Astarion: "Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk." PC: "Are you all right?" Astarion: "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just-... feel awful."

Ah. This part of the playthrough. Whenever I get to this conversation I always have to wonder what it's been like inside Astarion's head building up to this conversation? How to secure your safety in three easy steps, according to Astarion Ancunín:

Manipulate a person into a fake relationship with you .

Feel really guilty about it because it turns out you genuinely like this idiot. You didn't even know you could feel guilt anymore. What the fuck.

Confess to them, obviously not far from the verge of tears sounding like you're not far off from a nervous breakdown because you have no idea what the fuck to do, but you can't keep doing this because, as per the quote, you feel awful.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 18 - Paint

@jegulus-microfic May 18, Word count 588

Previous part First part

James was woken up just after dawn by Sirius and Peter coming back to the dorm after Remus had transformed again. He pulled the curtains back so he could look at them, Regulus still nestled into his side. 

“How was it?” He asked Sirius in a low voice. Peter waved at him but dove into his own bed, hoping to get a few hours sleep before lessons began. 

Sirius shook his head. 

“He wasn’t happy. I tried everything to calm him down.” He swallowed and James saw the tears flighting to get out. “He chewed up his paws, he wouldn’t stop. He wanted to be out of the shack. When he turned back, his hands were in tatters. I couldn’t stop him, Prongs.” A tear leaked down his face and James felt so guilty. He should have been there to help Sirius, to be there for Remus. But instead, he was curled up safe and warm with his boyfriend. He opened the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Regulus towards Sirius. Sirius glanced once at his slumbering brother and bounded into James’s bed. 

Sirius snuggled tight into James and James held him. He stroked his hair and muttered reassurances to him. Regulus stirred and slowly blinked and opened his eyes. 

“What are you doing in here?” He grumbled at Sirius, clearly not happy with his new bedmate. James had been about to step in when something strangely wonderful happened. Regulus noticed the tears on Sirius’s face and the way he trembled slightly. He reached over James, and took his brother's hand. “Is Remus alright?” He asked gently. Sirius shook his head again and sniffled. “Well Madam Pomfrey will fix him up, won’t she?” James had never seen the two brothers getting on so well. He was afraid to breathe, in case he broke the spell. 

Sirius looked over at the window and said quietly. 

“You need to recite the incantation,” He rolled and grabbed Regulus’s wand off the bedside table and handed it to him. 

“Thank you.” He wiggled out of James’s hold and sat on the edge of the bed. “Amato, Animo, Animato, Animagus,” He chanted while holding his wand to his heart. He handed his wand back to Sirius and laid back down. They all slept until Peters alarm clock blared, and they forced themselves to get up. 

“I feel like I need to prank,” Sirius declared as they were pulling on their robes. “It’s been too long since we did anything good.”

“I’ve got a bunch of fanged frisbees in my trunk. We could use them,” James suggested as he flung the invisibility cloak over Regulus before they left the dorm. 

“Nah, too boring.” Sirius dismissed. 

“There is nothing boring about a fanged frisbee,” Peter piped up. “Remember the one that went off in Zonkos? It nearly scalped me.” 

“Either way, Pete, it’s not what I had in mind.” His eyes flickered to the hundreds of paintings all around them. 

“Did I ever tell you I used to paint?” He grinned mischievously. A bodiless groan came from beside James. 

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you lot when he does that. You should have seen what he did to Phineas Nigellus. It took months for him to return to normal.” James couldn’t help it, he was intrigued.

“What you thinking, Padfoot?” Sirius gave him that look that gave him shivers of anticipation. 

“I think the paintings could do with a bit of fun,” James couldn’t wait to see what Sirius's imagination would come up with.   

Next part