#crying for the first time in FIVE WEEKS
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Going home for break
#solius posting#I can’t do this#crying for the first time in FIVE WEEKS#I don’t want to leave#anyone else SEVERELY traumatized from their parents lmao#I always think it’s never that bad and then the psychologist is like no you’re really fucked up lol and I’m like NOOOOOO#anywY :3#I should get lots of drawing done on the train
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this torture we're going through with the anime must be divine karma for slandering Bones all this time...... they said "oh, you don't like how we adapt things? you say the manga does it better?? okay then, well now there is no more manga. it's Bones or bust, bitches."
#bungou stray dogs#they really said now either you get the story from us or you don't get it at all 😭😭😭😭💀#screaming crying throwing up shaking HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY ON FOR THE NEXT WEEK LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL#NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK 'TWILIGHT FAREWELL' MEANS#NOT EVEN A FULL WEEK BUT FIVE DAYS CAUSE THE PV ALONE WILL END ME#seriously though how can i be okay with getting canon content for the first time in the ANIME#they already do terribly with content that ALREADY EXISTS#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL GETTING /NEW CONTENT/ THROUGH /BONES/#i guess looking at it another way though...... i should be glad if they deliver me some fucking hope a few weeks early#like obviously i'd rather none of this have happened and have gotten to this point in the last episode in the manga first#but since it did turn out this way....... if good things happen i'll take it i can't complain at this point just GIVE ME HOPE#mexican standoff with bones now that there's (basically) no manga content left like 'so it is down to you and it is down to me'#bones at the end of the fucking bsd world: 'never thought i'd be fighting side by side with a bsd anime hater'#me: 'how about side by side with a friend?'#bones: 'aye i can do that'
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I can’t believe they ended the umbrella academy season 4 with I think we’re alone now. They do not deserve I think we’re alone now.
#i think we’re alone now#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#season 4 tua#tua s4#tua#tua spoilers#absolute DOGSHIT#I’m genuinely so mad#I’m also about to cry#because like yeah it was bad writing#yeah I hate what they did with five and Lila#but do you know how absolutely shitty it makes me feel?#to still be in the same DECADE as when I first wanted to kill myself#to still be in the same week as the last time I thought about killing myself#to have had thoughts#suicidal thoughts#to kind of recover from that mindset#like I’m not quite there but im better#and then have a show I love so fucking much#end with the main characters erasing their existence#and then treating that as a good thing?#like yeah tragedy it was inevitable what the fuck ever they’re not playing this as a tragedy#they’re playing it as a foregone conclusion#the correct conclusion the right way for this to end#they framed it like they weren’t supposed to exist and the way to fix that is to stop existing#fuck that#fuck you tua season 4#genuinely fuck you so hard
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you know what? at least he got his wedding. i guess ,
#liz blogs#knight rider#knight rider spoilers#kr#knight rider liveblog#stevie makes me so fucking sad you dont understand. you dont understand. oh my god.#''at least i could always run into you at the supermarket'' ''thats how i do it too'' yeah. yeah. about that. uh. um. not. anymoRE#oh my god. at least they finally got their wedding. oh m y fucking god. it was beautiful for all of 8 minutes#this episode really smacks you with horrible grief over michaels two best relationships. its not bad enough about stevie#but then kitt rushes to his side after he gets shot. protects him. calls the ambulance. follows behind it the whole way there and looks#after him. god. tapped into the camera in his room and saves his fucking life. SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT FOR WEEKS#AND MICHAEL GETES OUT AND GOES 'YEAH ANYWAY IM LEAVING THE FOUNDATION' BITCH ??????? BITCH ??????????????#WHAT HAPPENS TO KITT THEN 8( YOU CANT JUST LEAVE HIM BEHIND HE'S YOUR FUCKING BUDDY !!!!!!!! HES YOUR PAL#OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO CRY FOR LIKE THE 8TH TIME#BUILD ANOTHER CAR. PROGRAM ANOTHER AI. THIS ONE IS MICHAELS HE SHOULD GET TO KEEP HIM FOREVER#IM GOING TO CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT OH MY G O D#i was right to be upset and nervous for this episode. i was right. i was right. oh . my god.#knight rider is ruining my life actually. jesus christ. i thought michael was actually going to Kill for the first time. oh my god.#im so upset. about the tv show. im so upset im in grief im going to cry#Again.#she threw himself in front of him. she threw -#''haha funy show about a guy and his car'' -- five months later i am never recovering. i am never recovering from my decision to watch kr#jesus. FUCKING christ oh my GOD
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oh my god. cabaret was a perfect production
#left the theater and had no words for about five minute#cried through half of the second act#<- started crying again for the first time in years maybe two weeks ago#oh my GOD#if you have any way to see it. see it#ted talks
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#Howwwww is it 5am already I want to go home#I begged my parents and sibling to let me go home to my own bed and they wouldn't let me#I don't want to be the solution to our family problems I want to go be alone and not here#I understand me being around more would make our parents nicer and give my siblings someome sane to talk to#But I want to die and I don't want to be here and I don't care about any of these people#Once again them forcing me to go to their house made me miss an assignment. So that class is genuinely failed now.#It makes me so frustrated I could cry. Every time I say I'm doing school work#Or say I can't drop everything and drive forty minutes to their house. they laugh at me#They genuinely laugh and say I'm such a liar and I'm faking and there's no way I ever do any school work#I'm actually shaking I'm so frustrated they don't understand. That's how long it takes me.#Why can't they just realize I'm a dumbass fucking idiot. I'm so fucking stupid#I'm literally so stupid. Intellectually I'm a fucking idiot and I am so useless and slow.#Stop trying to believe I have potential to fucking waste#The fact is there is no potential but I'm fucking wasting anyway#I'm so. Dumb. When I say I'm doing school work I mean I looked at the tab and got nervous about how overdue#everything is and how I'm failing and everyone wants me to leave my safety for their own inane bullshit#I wouldn't be failing this class at all if I had been able to complete the first week on time#instead of like. sitting outside a convention center alone and in agony for Five (5) hours.#Kudos to the devil for creating the exact perfect circumstances to kill me in particular#I should reach out and go to a friend's house and it would be good for me. But.#There's no way I'm going to see or speak to anyone in this state of everything#Everyone else around me seems to have improved in mental health I'm not going to ruin that by making them let me come over#No one really believes any of the problems I have like even I don't. how are you that stupid. just stop having these problems.#I can't go to a friend's house when I have problems like this. Last time I had a breakdown and scared the fucking host and#their partner had to be the one to comfort me because I was crying too loud for autistic ears :(#I can't do that to anyone again#I'm not kidding when I say I'm a huge burden genuinely I exist to be upsetting and inconvenient and frustrating#I am literally the most selfish person to ever have existed. Just objectively. I don't care about anyone or anything at all.#I don't love my friends or my family and I don't care about what they want or need. truthfully.#I just want to sit in my tiny room where nothing changes and no one expects me to drive anywhere holy fucking shit it's 6am
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*inhales*.....................DEEP SIGH
#i'm exhausted#i have a job interview this week which i should be grateful for but i'm still so unsure about what i want in life#and i'm so scared of making wrong choices like i'm terrified#and the company seems kind of conservative in its structures and culture i mean apparently there are low hierarchies but#they make their whole deal about 'family' and then there are almost only men working there which is like ughhh like the ratio is ridiculous#and the thing is i found another job offer at my local library and i would just so love to work there!!!! i will definitely apply this week#i'm just scared that i'll do well enough during the interview that they will actually want ti hire me and then i can't say no#bc i didn't even expect them to reach out to me in the first place so i guess my application was better than i thought#so now im'm debating whether i should take the chance or sabotage the interview so that i get to try really hard for#the application for the library job instead#i sound ridiculous being upset that an employer is showing interest in me like what a privilege to be able to turn that down#at the same time. like thankfully there is financial support from the government so i'm safe in that regard atm but it's really not much#and i also don't want to be in this state of unemployment for too long#and yet...i want to just spend my days doing something worthwhile? maybe i should just be grateful that i have the privilege to choose betw#different jobs and try to take advantage of that fact and opt for the offers that speak to me rather than cry about it#god i'm so stressed this is my first time in life where i can't rest assured that the upcoming years will follow the same routine#like how it was when i entered uni like i just knew 'alright i'll be studying for at least 5 years and then we'll see' and now#it's like i don't know what i'll be doing next month or in half a year or next year or in five years#the uncertainty. killing me. that's how i know i grew up way too protected cause i break under the slightest inconvenience god#alright crying rant over from now on i'll be growing up for real 👍#personal
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I was going down the old yt rabit hole, just watching 9 almost 10 year old videos nbd, and I came across the age old argument/explination/confusion/huh/what/¯\_(ツ)_/¯ of Mangle of Five Nights at Freddy's FUCK'N TWO's gender. Along the lines of; his pronouns are Loudly he/him in-game, but the fandom would not shut up about, but it's a girl, look at her, girl foxy. Period done shut up about it-BUT THEY'RE CALLED HE/HIM!!! Fuck it, they go by they/them now, fuck you, fuck me, fuck Mangle and it's gender. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is ALL those fandom fights ending in fire and tears and bloodshed came back full force and I went
"FUCK IT, BIGENDER MANGLE!" As like a knee-jerk reaction because GOD it's been a fight in the trenches for literally almost a decade. AND THEN I went "oh fuck, bigender Mangle. It all makes sense now." And then holy choir rang out and god in her holy he/her glory bestowed upon me some mediocre cheesecake of which I ate all of it in one sitting...Where was I? Ah yea, amazing how fast that war could have ended if being bigender was more widely known back then, but hey, we can finally put down the pitchforks now right?
...Right?
"There are still only 2 genders, no one can be both at once!"
Motherfu-
#fnaf#mangle fnaf#mangle the fox#huh. never used that tag before.#five nights at freddys#fnaf 2#shit this franchise is getting Old. maybe even OLD#just 1:30am thoughts no worry about me guys...im mentally stable...well more mentally stable than I was 42 hours ago. and the past...week?#2 weeks? o_o you know it's bad when you don't know when your last solid memory was.#OH MY GOSH. ON A VERY UNRELATED NOTE I FOUND OLD PHOTOS OF MY DAD'S PLACE ON THE INTERNET /WHEN HE WAS STILL LIVING THERE!!!/#HE STILL HAS A DISH ON THE BACK OF THE SINK! HE STILL SITS ON THE RECLINER TO THE RIGHT! I COULD SEE HIS COFFEE MUG ON THE ENDTABLE!#MY OLD PILLOW! HIS /PAINTING!/ MY FUCKING ROCKS IN THE PLAY AREA IN THE HALLWAY TO THE KITCHEN!#THEY EVEN HAVE PICTURES OF THE UPSTAIRS! OF WHICH I HAVEN'T SEEN SINCE HE MOVED /DOWNSTAIRS!/#THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN 11 FUC-FUCKING YEARS AGO! HE STILL LIVES THERE! ON THIS WEBSITE /HE STILL LIVES THERE!!/#GAH-IM GONNA CRY AGAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!#yes. yes I cried about it Big time when I got downstairs in the gallery. I was expecting it to all be gutted from looking at the upstairs.#but the first photo. the first fucking photo that was downstairs was.....his. fucking. room. the layout was a bit different to the last tim#he changed it. but...fuck man. fuck. yeah. I started sobbing...the picture that got me full crying though was the hallway going into the#livingroom. I could see the tv. the shelf above his bedroom door. the door to the outside halway. the carpet the speaker the doors to the#basement and bathroom. the bathroom door crakced upen Just Right so the cats have a harder time getting in there...#the hallway I used most to walk into the living room because we used the back door to drop me off...I could feel the couch I slept on for#too many years for my developing bones...all those painted walls and the matching coffee table that got moved and moved throughout#fuck#fuck.#none of it is there. and i still don't know what happened to the cats. or his painting or his movies or his games or the mug i got him#shit. ignore these tags. i just needed someone to know. I think most of my family is tired of me being sad about this...I can't help it tho#I don't think I'm ever getting closure...and I just need someone to know whenever... I'm gonna eat cheesecake now...#....god i miss that livingroom. I fucking miss him....#this post was just supposed to be about mangle im sorry guys...though...i can see why mangle led me back to mac...#I'll never know about that too...never even got to drink with him...we missed so many years because of my mom's shitty ex...
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crying again lol ok
#purrs#and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking#damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I#miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out#FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks#being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i#even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just#text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or#at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju#just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an#and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be#been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode#and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b#be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a#breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing#on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here#delete later#like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway#and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy.#retreat tag
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this:
youtube
[video id: 26 second audio only clip of the sound of a dial up modem connecting]
#dyscalculia#actual answer is#two and four is six. seven and eight is.... two eights are sixteen. seven minus 8 is one. one off sixteen makes fifteen.#six and ten is seven because the ten's a one (base ten) whatevers left over goes on the end. five. five on the end of seven is seventy five#seventy five#probably not the first time someone added this but it wasnt in the notes as far as i could see#and im having a very dyscalculic day#the real real answer based on today is cry in public about whether it was six weeks from now or six weeks from four weeks ago ie ten#i did only cry after the conversation though not during so fucking win#Youtube
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Me: I have real actual experience for this job.
Job: That’s pretty good. We’ll definitely consider you as a viable candidate.
Me: I can pass a drug test immediately and I’m reliable.
Job: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME WORK FOR US PLEASE PL-
#personal rambles#it didn’t go *exactly* like this lmao but it was definitely a huge factor in me getting the job#at the end of the interview the interviewer said he was impressed with me and liked my attitude#but that he was required to interview other candidates so they’d get back to me in a few weeks#and then an hour later I got a call from my recruiter saying I ‘blew them out of the water’ and they won’t be interviewing anyone else#I straight up almost cried and quit like five times tho#it was a rough fucking interview#two goddamn hours#if you’ve never done a welding interview it’s usually like. three parts?#the first part is standard talking interview#the second part is the welding test which can take anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple hours depending#I’m. stubborn? so I don’t think it usually takes that long??#but I was given scrap to run as many beads as I wanted and it was fucking stainless which I hadn’t done in four fucking years#so it was not up to my personal standards (I KNOW I can do better welds)#and it was so frustrating. hence. the almost crying. but I was like#this is free practice and worst case scenario I will impress them with my refusal to quit when it’s challenging#so I decided to keep running beads until they made me stop#and whaddya know I did in fact impress them#I even had issues with contamination (not actually my#my fault it was the equipment and another factor)#but what he was looking for was that I knew *how* to weld not necessarily good welds?#and I had fantastic penetration 😏 with no burn through and even and consistent welds#which again. not necessarily enough to get me the job. which is where my stellar personality and ability to pass a drug test come in#I’m not too worried about the actual job? it won’t all be stainless and I’ll also have training on the job#and I’m a quick learner.#but yes.#I have a job now!#yay!#(important bc my wife works at a chicken place for barely over min wage)
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Hello new symptom of chronic stress. Welcome to the fray.
#crying like crying every day unexpectedly for no reason#just strange fits of sudden weeping and just as suddenly it stops#lemme tell you the first five-seven years were just meh like typical anxiety#the fun starts after 10+ years baby when it starts compounding on existing problems#memory? you might have had a grasp of lived experiences before but no longer#just a blur of days years and forgotten names what did I even do last week#rapid weight gain fun times and bouts of near paralysis#burnout try burn it all down#run run run run run run run black smoke and flames and the cops and paramedics#is this life this is some kind of life#I’m so done with it#chronic stress#school stress#back to school
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first week of uni is so the magnus archives martin blackwood s4 coded (lonely)
#vent post#i’m now an avatar of the lonely it seems#everybody’s in groups already and i’m all alone#and nobody seems interested in me either#i know i can’t wait for people to approach me and have to do some work myself#but why don’t i just. have friends yet#my friends from school all found friends immediately#one literally found her best friend on the very first day#so why do i not have anyone#i was almost crying in my lecture. i just don’t want to be alone. i want to have friends#and i thought uni would be different and that i wouldn’t have such a hard time making friends but it’s the same as it has always been#i feel exactly how i did in 7th grade when eating lunch alone in the bathroom and in 10th grade when i went on an exchange and didn’t have#friends for like five weeks#am i really so unlikeable?? or what is it#might delete this later but idk i had to type it all out#if i don’t have friends by the end of next week i’m literally quitting uni lol and find something else to do#do i tag this tma#i guess so#tma#the magnus archives#sorry to anyone searching for fun posts and stumbling across this vent instead
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bambi [ceo!h x shy!reader]
synopsis: y/n tries a dating app and meets the CEO of Pleasing
word count: 8.6k
contains: ceo!harry x assitant!y/n, deer!reader vibes, dating app, online dating, deer!reader, first date, first kiss, fluff, age gap (9 years)
a/n: this is the first part of a new series. as usual the first part is a lil slow to set things up but I'm excited for what's to come of this one. there's going to be a lot of cuteness and all the things i love writing about in this one so i can't wait to share more !
this is part 1 of Bambi, read part 2 here
. . .
Most of the time Y/N didn’t want to be in control of things.
From a young age, she had to be in charge of everything. She had three younger brothers and was born to a single mother who worked hard to keep everything afloat in their tiny, townhouse. So inevitably she became an adult before she could even buy a lottery ticket.
Her life wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t easy. With the constant nagging from her much younger siblings and the dampened sleeve of her t-shirt—evidence of the hours she spent comforting her mother through tears—Y/N had just had enough.
Her life had become an abundance of things she was struggling to keep up with. She had no reprieve throughout her daily life, no way of stopping or just letting go.
She worked six-hour shifts at the supermarket, studied marketing at university, did the school run in the mornings, and often in the evenings too, if her mother was too tired to get off the couch. She tutored her youngest brother, who was falling behind in math, and kept the house in order while all three of them stayed glued to the television.
Even worse, her social life was practically nonexistent.. She was twenty-one and spent her Friday nights making dino nuggets and catching up on an incessant amount of laundry from the past week.
Y/N wasn’t sure where her life was heading. The loneliness and stress was so overwhelming she could barely breathe.
One night, the weight of it all brought her to tears as she thought about her future after graduation. Most of the girls she knew were planning gap years, travelling to places like Brazil or Italy. She tried to picture herself boarding a plane, but the only thing she could imagine was her mother calling mid-flight, asking her to pick up one of the boys from school.
She pulled open her phone eyes blotchy and nose stuffy from crying. Her loneliness was hitting her hard and she was desperate to feel some kind of connection, even if it was five minutes of conversation. So, she opened the only dating app she had on her phone, one that she’d installed many moons ago when she wanted to open herself up to meeting new people.
She barely used it after realising she wasn’t the best at small talk and whenever a guy would ask for a date, her introverted self would refuse to step foot out of the house. But on occasion she’d find herself wondering, searching for someone to take her mind off of everything.
Y/N swiped past copious images of men, seemingly unphased by all of them. She swiped through so many, that they almost began to look the same - 5’9, tanned, shirtless or lifting weights trying to show some kind of strength that proved to women they were most definitely ‘manly’.
When she started to believe all hope was lost, she paused when her eyes settled on a man who didn’t look much like the others. He was tall, with brunette curls and green eyes that crinkled when he smiled. He wore rings on his hands in every single picture and in one of them he wore a shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal a sleeve of tattoos. In most of his pictures he wore comfy sweaters and knitted cardigans with grey or black trousers. In one of them he wore a pair of blue jeans and had a small, battered copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his back pocket.
She read his bio beneath.
‘Harry, 30
Likes: scrabble, food, cats, books, cardigans
Dislikes: loud chewing, music played too low, emails, wearing sunglasses indoors at dinner is absolutely criminal’
She clicked the heart on his profile, eyes widening when the words ‘MATCH’ appeared on the screen in big bubble writing. He hadn’t sent her a message but clearly he had liked her own profile which was surprising considering she had barely anything on it.
As she was mulling over what to say to start the conversation, three bubbles quickly appeared then disappeared, replaced by a message. She held her breath, reading the words.
Harry: Hey, pretty dress
She frowned, wondering what he meant by that but then remembered she had a picture of her on her profile, showcasing one of her favourite dresses. It was a baby pink slip dress she had made out of silk fabric.
Y/N: Thank you, I made it! :)
Harry: You did? Wow! Looks better than most of the ones I’ve seen in my own store.
Y/N: Do you own a clothing store?
Harry: Something along those lines
Harry: Although they don’t sell pretty dresses like yours
Y/N: They’re probably a lot better, I use cheap materials
She cringed at her message, hoping she didn’t sound broke or not put together by saying she used something cheap.
Harry: I’m even more impressed
She smiled, watching him type a new message.
Harry: What brings you here?
She tried to sum up how she was feeling without making herself seem like a weirdo. She didn’t want to sound like a recluse looking for human interaction no matter how much she felt like it.
Y/N: I’m tired of everything, just want someone to keep me company
Harry: I get that. Should I be worried? Are you okay?
Her heart warmed, she couldn’t remember the last time someone asked her if she was okay.
Y/N: I’m okay now, thank you for asking !! it’s just everyday life stuff.
Harry: Of course. Just let me know if there’s anything you want to talk about. I’m right here to listen… or read
Y/N: thank you, that truly means a lot!! xx
Harry: No problem, love x
Y/N’s heart flickered at the name he had placed on the end.
They texted for hours, well into the middle of the night. Y/N was giddy, rolling around on her bed, smiling so hard her cheeks ached. They had so much in common—both preferred quiet nights in, were family-oriented, loved literature and art and even fashion. He was funny and sweet, always checking in to make sure she was comfortable and that he wasn’t overstepping with his questions. Despite how much they had in common, they had a lot of differences too.
Y/N: Is it raining where you are? Xx
Harry: Hm, just checked outside and I think the clouds are coming over. I don’t mind though autumn happens to be my favourite season.
Y/N: omg really?
Harry: What? You don’t agree?
Y/N: No omg are you kidding? I’m much more into spring. I like that it’s sunny with a slight breeze so it’s warm but not too warm so you can still wear a sweater
Harry: Ahhh I see, you do give spring I must say
Y/N: You think so?
Harry: Even from looking at your pictures, you look like a tulip or something.
Harry: Or the little deer from that movie
Harry: What was it?
Harry: Bambi!
Harry: Maybe that should be your name - Bambi
Y/N: That’s one of my favourite movies !!
Y/N: I happened to think Bambi is a very pretty name
Harry: Then I’ll call you Bambi
Y/N: Well what should I call you?
Harry: Anything you like, Bambi
. . .
Y/N was working her shift at the supermarket. She was already entering her final hour, her stomach rumbling as she packed frozen pizzas onto the shelves. Although she had been working hard to get things done so she could go home on time, her mind was constantly wandering.
It had been a full week of talking to Harry. They had converted to messaging on WhatsApp after exchanging numbers and every day Y/N would wake up to a morning text message from him telling her to have a good day and that he would be right there in her pocket if she ever needed anything. In the evenings, he would make sure she wasn’t going to sleep with anything heavy on her mind. He’d ask her questions about what she ate and if she had any time to herself in the day. For the first time in a long time, Y/N felt a little less lonely. She went about her day with a little pep in her step feeling the excitement of texting the man she had only just met. She didn’t know what it was about him but a part of her felt safe with him. Maybe it was the fact he was nine years older than her and knew what it was like to be under stress with so many things but he understood her in a way no one else did.
And Bambi.
Every day, it was Bambi this and Bambi that, and every time, she’d swoon or smile at the nickname he had given her. It was silly, maybe even a little ridiculous, how much it affected her. But she couldn’t help it—every time he said it, a bubble of excitement grew inside her. She liked someone for the first time in a long time, and it brought something new, something light, into her overwhelming life.
After days of just simply texting, Y/N had asked him if he wanted to video call tonight. It would be her first time hearing what he sounded like and part of her was nervous. What if he came across differently from how he was over text? What if he didn’t look the way he did in the numerous pictures he had sent her? What if after calling tonight, he didn’t like her anymore?
Hours later, Y/N was tucked up in bed readying herself to call him. She had showered and blow-dried her hair, wearing her comfiest pink pyjamas with her body wrapped up in her duvet. Her thumb hovered over the call button, gnawing on her bottom lip as thoughts raced through her mind.
She gasped when Harry’s face appeared on her screen just seconds after she pressed call. It was their first time ever talking like this, and her heart raced as she took in the sight of him. He was sitting in a desk chair, a large framed artwork hanging on the wall behind him. His shirt was slightly rumpled, his tie loosened around the collar, and his curls fell lazily across his forehead. He looked so effortlessly handsome, it almost didn’t seem real.
“Hey,” he murmured, his voice breaking the stillness of her bedroom. It carried a warmth, soft and steady, like the glow of a campfire, and she felt herself melt under its gentle heat.
“H-Hi,” she squeaked, her cheeks immediately flushing with warmth. Her nerves bubbled up as she realized she was staring at him, trying to comprehend that this was actually happening. Surely she was dreaming, she pinched herself to make sure.
Harry’s eyes softened when he heard her shaky greeting. “You alright?” he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting in a small, amused smile. His tone was gentle, almost teasing, but there was something deeper there—like he was studying her reaction and enjoying every second of it.
She nodded quickly, fumbling with the hem of her pyjama shirt. “I’m good! Just… surprised you answered so fast.” She giggled nervously, her voice high-pitched and sweet, like she couldn’t quite believe this was happening. “I thought it’d take a few rings at least.” Her blush deepened as she tucked her knees up to her chest.
He chuckled softly, the sound rich and warm, making her heart flutter. “I was waiting for you to call,” he admitted, a soft smirk tugging at his lips.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she shyly glanced up at him through her lashes. “Really?” she asked, her voice soft and a little disbelieving.
He smiled, a slow, adoring smile that made her stomach flip. “Yeah, really. I’ve been thinking about it all day.” His voice had that low, confident tone, but his gaze was gentle, like he wanted to make sure she knew he meant it. “The only thing getting me through work.”
“You’re still at work? It’s nine-thirty!” she exclaimed, glancing at the clock in disbelief.
Harry’s lips curled into a playful smirk. “Is it past your bedtime, Bambi?” he teased, leaning back in his chair as he glanced at her through the screen.
Her heart stuttered hearing that nickname come from his own mouth. She felt like if the camera wasn’t on, she’d be floating around her room like a bright pink orb of light, “N-No,” she stammered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. “But shouldn’t you be going home by now? You’ve been working all day.”
He let out a small chuckle, shrugging as he glanced down at the papers scattered across his desk. “Got a lot to catch up on. Too many late nights spent talking to you.” His voice was warm, laced with affection despite his teasing.
Her heart sank for a moment, guilt creeping in. They’d been texting non-stop for weeks, and she hadn’t once thought about how it might be affecting his workload. He’d told her before that he worked for a clothing company, and it suddenly hit her how busy he must be.
Noticing the shift in her expression, Harry’s voice softened. “Y’thinking too much in that little head of yours?” he asked, cutting through her thoughts.
“Maybe a little,” she admitted quietly, biting her lip.
He shook his head, eyes never leaving hers. “You know I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, right? I love talking to you, Y/N. I think... I might even be a little obsessed with you,” he confessed, his smirk turning into a softer smile.
Her breath caught in her throat, and for a second, all she could do was stare at him, her heart thudding in her chest. “I-I think I’m obsessed with you too,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“Yeah?” His voice was full of warmth, a hint of disbelief in it, like he hadn’t expected her to say it back. She nodded shyly, clutching her pillow tighter against her chest, her heart racing.
Harry huffed out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face to hide the wide grin that had taken over. “God, you’re even cuter than I imagined,” he murmured, his words full of adoration.
They talked for hours, diving into everything and anything that crossed their minds. It was the longest conversation they’d had since they started talking, and Y/N found herself more captivated by Harry than she thought was possible. The way he laughed, the way he listened—it all just pulled her in deeper.
In the middle of her sentence, she noticed Harry looking at her with an unusually soft expression, his eyes filled with something she couldn’t quite place. He suddenly spoke, cutting her off mid-thought. “Can I take you on a date?” His voice was gentle but firm, catching her completely off guard.
“O-Oh,” she stammered, blinking in surprise. She hadn’t expected him to want to meet her so soon, but her heart leapt at the thought. “I’d like that,” she replied, a soft smile spreading across her face. “Very much.”
His own smile widened, a mix of relief and excitement in his eyes. “How about Saturday evening? I could pick you up.”
“But wouldn’t that be too long of a drive?” she asked, biting her lip. She knew he lived in the city, about forty minutes away without traffic, and she didn’t want to inconvenience him.
Harry’s expression didn’t falter. “It’s not too far at all. Trust me, I don’t mind,” he said confidently. “I’ll pick you up at 8, sound good?”
Y/N’s heart fluttered, the idea of seeing him in person making her pulse race. She nodded shyly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Mhm, that sounds perfect.”
Harry’s grin grew, his eyes twinkling, “Can you wear the pretty dress you made?”
Y/N blushed, “You don’t want me to wear something a little more sophisticated?”
“Y’ can wear whatever makes you comfortable, I don’t mind but I think I’d like to see that little dress y’ made.”
She nodded, stifling a yawn as it slipped out. It was getting late, and Harry was still at his office, working. “Y’tired, lovie?” His voice softened.
“A little,” she lied, knowing full well she was more than exhausted. But the thought of ending the call made her chest tighten—she wanted to keep him on the line, even just for a few more minutes.
Harry chuckled softly as if he could see right through her. “Why don’t you rest those pretty eyes for me, yeah?” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, the gentle authority in his words making her entire body relax. She practically melted at the sound, her heart skipping a beat.
“M’kay,” she whispered, her eyelids already heavy as she let herself sink deeper into the comfort of his voice.
“I’ll be right here, alright?” he reassured her, his tone gentle and full of warmth.
She managed a soft smile, her words barely audible as her exhaustion overtook her. “Promise?”
“Promise Bambi,” he whispered, his voice the last thing she heard before sleep pulled her under.
. . .
“Mr. Styles?”
Harry looked up from his computer, peering over the rims of his glasses. His receptionist, Lindsey, stood in the doorway. “The samples for the newest collection have arrived. Would you like me to bring them in?” she asked, her voice polite but efficient, as always.
“Yes, please, Lindsey,” he replied with a sigh, signing off another email before hitting send. The endless stream of tasks had him feeling drained.
Though Harry wasn’t usually the type to show much warmth towards his employees, Lindsey was different. She’d been with him for years—long enough to earn not just his respect, but his trust. She was one of the very few people he relied on within his company.
Harry was the CEO of Pleasing, a major fashion company he had built from the ground up. His first line had been designed in a small studio, crafted with his own hands and the help of a few close friends who still worked by his side. Now, it was a global brand. He was on Forbes 30 under 30 and had features in magazines like GQ. He was even in Time magazine for most influential people.
Despite all the success, his day-to-day life had become an endless loop of emails, business meetings, and deadlines. Time for anything outside of work was a luxury he couldn’t afford. Lately, though, something, or rather someone, had started to make him reconsider how he spent his time.
He checked his phone once more having only picked it up a minute ago for the same reason. He hoped to see a message from Y/N, in fact he was eager to. Ever since he had messaged her on the only dating app he used, he hadn’t thought of anyone else but her.
It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, one born out of the loneliness that weighed heavier than ever that night. Harry sat in his dimly lit office, the silence around him almost suffocating. He hadn’t dated in over a year, not since his last relationship, which had ended on a bitter note. That girl had taken advantage of him, using his desire of the relationship he wanted to manipulate him. She had drained his bank accounts, maxed out his credit cards on shopping sprees and lavish holidays with her friends, leaving him both financially and emotionally exhausted. After that, he’d grown wary of trusting anyone.
When he joined the website, he wasn’t exactly hopeful. The chance of finding someone who truly understood his career and mirrored his desires in a relationship seemed slim.
But then he met his Bambi.
He hadn’t been searching for anything specific that day, just scrolling aimlessly, but something about Y/N’s profile made him pause. There was a warmth to her, a genuine spark that went beyond her pictures. She didn’t seem to realise just how captivating she was, and that drew him in even more. It wasn’t just her beauty—though she was stunning—it was the way she spoke about the things she loved. Her messages were full of passion, filled with rambles about her favourite books, little moments in her day, or random thoughts that popped into her head.
Y/N had ignited something within him. He was excited for this newfound thing they had going on, a spark he hadn’t felt in years. Every message from her left him smiling at his phone, wondering what she’d say next. It was the kind of excitement that made the day feel a little brighter, knowing she was just a text away. He found himself looking forward to the simplest things—her daily updates, the way she’d ramble about something she’d seen or read, and even the photo updates she’d send him of things she was doing.
For the first time in a long time, he found himself imagining what it would be like to share his life with someone, instead of the quiet solitude he’d grown so used to. He couldn’t shake the thought of Y/N being that person—the one to bring warmth into the corners of his once-lonely home. He pictured what it would be like to have someone in his space, their presence adding a new kind of lightness. Someone to be there in the small, everyday moments and to keep him company after a long day at the office.
He couldn’t wait to meet her in real life, hold her in his hands and kiss the lips he spent nights dreaming about.
Harry snapped out of his daze when Lindsey opened the door and the manufacturers entered the room behind her, holding the fabric samples in their hands. They greeted him timidly, laying the samples on the table by the large floor-to-ceiling windows.
He walked over, black polished shoes clicking against the mahogany wood floor. He sighed when he took in the samples, he didn’t need to feel them to know they weren’t good enough. Uncapping the red pen, he drew a cross beside each sample, the men behind him releasing a shaky breath.
“Come back when you have what I want,” He murmured, dismissing them with a wave of his hand.
He checked the time on his watch and cursed. Today was his niece’s birthday and he promised his sister he’d visit in time for her birthday party this afternoon. “Lindsey,” He called, hearing her shoes against the floor before she opened the door to his office.
He pulled on his blazer, “I’ve got to leave, did you wrap that gift I gave you the other day?”
Lindsey frowned, “It’s under my desk but what about your meetings this afternoon?”
“Cancel them.” He shrugged.
His Porsche was parked out front by the time he stepped out of the building. He put the gift into the passenger seat and made a mental note to stop somewhere to buy a birthday card.
He glanced at his phone when a text came through.
Bambi: Half way through my shift. It’s been pretty rough, sorry for the late reply xx
His heart leapt when Y/N’s name appeared. He took his phone when he reached a red light and typed in a reply.
Harry: it’s okay lovie, call me when you finish yeah? x
He was desperate to speak to her even if it were just for a mere few seconds.
Making a left turn, he pulled into the parking lot of a small supermarket on the highway. It looked run down and old but there wasn’t anywhere else he could go to before he reached his sister's house.
People sat outside, smoking cigarettes and drinking out of beer cans. He ignored the glances they made towards him and his car.
He stepped inside and walked along the aisles, pausing when he noticed someone stacking things onto a shelf. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. She was wearing blue jeans and a fuzzy white sweater, her hair was braided and fastened with pink, silk bows. She wore wired earbuds, her pink ballerina flats tapping against the laminate flooring.
She must have felt his gaze because her head lifted, eyes widening as they met his. Her soft, pink lips parted slightly, and in that instant, it was as if the world shifted—everything falling perfectly into place between them, as though they were always meant to find each other naturally.
Harry hadn’t noticed the sugar spilling from the bag she was holding until the store manager stormed over. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The sharp tone made Y/N jump, her body snapping upright as she stood frozen in front of her manager, fear flashing across her face.
“I-I’m s-sorry, I—” Y/N stammered, her voice trembling.
“How many times do I have to hear the same excuse from you?” her manager snapped. “Stupid, useless girl, costing me the whole damn shop.”
Y/N’s bottom lip quivered, her eyes welling up with unshed tears. “I-I know... I promised it wouldn’t happen again. It was an accident, really,” she whispered, her voice barely holding steady.
Harry’s frown deepened. Again? This had happened before?
From the way Y/N stood there, trying so hard not to cry, it was painfully clear—this wasn’t the first time her boss had spoken to her like this.
Harry’s jaw tightened as he watched the exchange, a surge of protectiveness rising in him. He had only known Y/N recently, but seeing her like this—small, vulnerable, and clearly hurt—stirred something deep within him. He couldn’t just stand there and let it happen.
“Excuse me,” Harry spoke up, his voice calm but firm, stepping closer. The store manager turned to him, annoyance flashing across his face.
“This doesn’t concern you,” the manager spat, his glare shifting to Harry.
“Actually, I think it does,” Harry replied, his eyes steady on the man. “You don’t need to speak to her like that.”
The manager scoffed. “And who the hell are you?”
Harry didn’t blink, his voice lowering. “Someone who knows when respect is lacking.”
Y/N looked up at Harry, wide-eyed, as if she couldn’t believe he was stepping in. Her heart raced, a mix of relief and anxiety bubbling inside her. She wasn’t used to anyone standing up for her like this.
“Y/N, why don’t you take a minute?” Harry said softly, glancing over at her, his voice now gentle and reassuring. The tears in her eyes made his chest physically hurt. He’d be quick with this useless piece of shit so he could give her all his attention.
She hesitated but then nodded, her gaze flicking between Harry and her boss. She quickly turned, slipping away from the confrontation, her hands shaking as she tried to compose herself.
Harry turned back to the manager, his calm exterior masking the frustration brewing underneath. “Speak to her like that again, and I won’t hesitate to have this place torn down, brick by brick, and replaced with a building I own. Then you’ll know firsthand what it’s like to deal with a real fucking manager.”
With that, he turned on his heel, already making a mental note to have his team look into this place. It was clearly lacking in more ways than one—enough to warrant being shut down for good he hoped.
Y/N stood behind the building, her back to him, shoulders trembling as she cried into her sleeve. Harry’s heart clenched at the sight. “Hey, hey, hey,” he murmured softly, stepping forward and gently pulling her into his chest. “Tha’s enough now, Bambi. Don’t waste your tears on him,” he whispered, his large hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Holding her close felt unexpectedly right, as if this was exactly where she belonged, even if the circumstances weren’t ideal.
“I’m so embarrassed,” she sniffled, her voice small. “This isn’t how I wanted you to see me for the first time.”
His eyes softened with affection as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. Carefully, he wiped her tear-stained, blotchy cheeks, his touch tender. “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetheart,” he whispered, “S’alright now, y’ don’t have to go back in there.” He cupped the back of her head, feeling how soft and silky her hair was. He couldn’t seem to fathom that he was actually holding her after days of imagining what she would feel like.
She pulled away and for the first time Harry could get a proper look at her. He didn’t think it possible for her to be even more beautiful than the pictures he had of her on her phone but she was. Her features were soft, cheeks permanently pink like the colour of tulips on a spring day, her lips were the perfect shape, so delicate like two petals pressed together. She was a walking angel.
“Hey stranger,” He grinned, those perfect cheeks turning pink. If Harry had one goal in his life it was to make her all flustery and blushy.
“Hi,” She peeped, hands fiddling in front of her.
Her eyes widened when she saw the tear stains on his shirt, the damp spots revealing the tiniest hint of the tattoos on his torso. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your shirt,” She cringed.
“Hey no need to apologise, ‘s not even ruined and I’d rather you were okay than some easily replaceable shirt.” He assured her. “Are y’ sure you’re okay? Don’t need to go in there and beat him up or anything,”
She smiled at that and the sight made his heart sing, “No it’s okay. I-I’m okay, thank you for looking out for me. I don’t normally have people doing that very often.”
He frowned. He didn’t like how often she spoke about how little help she got from other people. If anything, it made him want to take care of her even more than he already did.
“I should probably head back in. I still have three more hours of my shift,” she huffed, clearly reluctant. It was the last thing she wanted to do.
Harry’s expression softened, but his tone remained firm. “You don’t have to,” he said, his gaze holding hers, protective and unwavering.
Y/N frowned, uncertainty flickering in her eyes. “But I need the job, Harry,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I can’t just leave.”
His jaw tightened at her words. He hated seeing her stuck in a place that didn’t value her, where she wasn’t respected. “I know you need the job,” he replied, gentler now, trying to ease her worry. “But no job is worth being treated like that. Not by him.”
She bit her lip, glancing back at the store, anxiety clearly weighing on her. “What am I supposed to do, then? I can’t afford to lose it.”
Harry stepped closer, his hand finding its way to her cheek, thumb brushing away a stray tear. “You’re not going to lose anything,” he said softly. “Let me take care of it. Of you.”
Y/N blinked up at him, her heart pounding. “Take care of me?”
“Come work with me,” He offered.
There weren’t many positions available at Pleasing, but Harry didn’t care. He’d make something work—anything to keep her from going back into that place and dealing with the jerk inside.
“In the city? I... I can’t do that, Harry. I still have school, and my brothers...”
“You can work around it,” he said quickly, eager to find a solution. “I’ll pay for your gas to and from the city, or I’ll have someone drive you. Hell, I’ll drive you myself if it makes you feel better. Whatever you need. Just don’t stay here.”
He sighed softly, taking her small hand in his larger one, her warmth a comfort even as doubt flickered between them. “Just... think about it, yeah?” His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of her hand, trying to ease the tension.
Y/N hesitated but nodded slowly. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice barely above a murmur.
A grin spread across Harry’s face, his relief palpable. “Thank you Bambi.” He swore he saw her pupils carve into love hearts at his words.
. . .
Y/N hadn’t returned to her job at the store just as she promised Harry. It wasn’t only because Harry was insistent she didn’t go back but her manager had been pretty verbally abusive for quite some time now and she thought better than to go back and work for someone who was just plain mean.
A few days had passed and Saturday rolled around quickly. Y/N was giddy with excitement, preparing everything in time for Harry to pick her up to take her on their very first date this evening. She had arranged a babysitter to look after her brothers since her mother wouldn’t be home until late. It wasn’t often they splurged cash on hiring a babysitter but Y/N wasn’t going to rearrange her date with Harry for anything.
She’d made a list of everything she needed to do: wash and blow dry her hair, shave every inch of her body, and paint her nails with the glazed pink polish she’d ordered online. Her hair was in curlers as she carefully laid out her outfit for the evening—a pink satin slip dress she’d made herself, paired with white kitten heels that matched perfectly. With the season shifting into autumn, she added a thin white cardigan to keep her warm in case the night turned chilly on the way home.
She wanted to look perfect. Especially after the fiasco the other day when he had rescued her from her mean manager.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion the moment she laid eyes on the man from her phone. He was even more perfect than she had imagined—taller too. It still hadn’t sunk in that she was about to go on a date with this man—the one who wore a black suit to work and had saved her from cruel, terrifying managers.
And the way he spoke to her afterwards, comforting her with his big, heavy hands around her. She wanted him to pick her up and take her wherever he went.
Y/N sighed blissfully in front of her vanity. As Y/N finished her makeup, her phone buzzed with a message from Harry.
Harry: Just outside x
She peeked through the window, catching sight of him standing by a sleek black car, leaning casually against the door. He looked breathtaking in a fitted black suit, hands in his pockets as he scanned the street. Her nerves fluttered, a mixture of excitement and anticipation bubbling up. She took a deep breath, smoothed down her dress, and grabbed her cardigan before heading out the door.
The moment she stepped outside, Harry’s gaze snapped to her, dark and intense. He straightened up, eyes travelling over her form, taking in every detail of her appearance. The way he looked at her sent a shiver down her spine.
“Y’ look stunning, Bambi,” he murmured, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine. He took a step closer, his large hand cupping her cheek, thumb grazing her soft skin. “All this f’ me?”
Y/N blushed, biting her bottom lip nervously. “I-I wore the dress you wanted,” she mumbled shyly, looking up at him through her lashes, “Do you like it?”
“‘S perfect,” He murmured lowly.
“Ready to go, sweetheart?” He opened the car door for her, watching as she slid into the passenger seat, her delicate form contrasting with the dark interior of his Porshe. Harry’s eyes lingered on her legs for a moment before he shut the door and walked around to his side.
Once inside, he reached over, resting his hand on her thigh, the warmth of his touch comforting her immediately. “You nervous?” he asked, glancing at her with a small smile, though the look in his eyes held a trace of dominance.
“A little,” Y/N admitted, her voice soft and shy.
Harry gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. “Y’ don’t have to be nervous around me, love, promise ‘m not scary. Least of all t’ you.”
Y/N smiled, loving how he made it clear she was different, that he treated her in a way no one else could. It warmed her to feel special, especially when that feeling was rare for her.
As they drove, their conversation flowed easily. Y/N found herself opening up more and more, rambling about anything that came to mind. Harry listened intently, his smile soft as he asked questions, showing genuine interest in everything she said. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light of the car, and each time she answered bashfully, his lips curved.
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as they drove deeper into the city. The lights grew brighter, illuminating a part of town she rarely found herself in—where the wealthy lived, with towering apartment complexes and upscale restaurants lining the streets. Harry pulled over in front of a sleek Italian restaurant, where a man stood waiting by the curb.
“Are we allowed to park here?” Y/N asked, her face bathed in the glow of the restaurant’s lights.
Harry suppressed a grin at her confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Well… I just assumed we weren’t eating here, which is totally fine! You don’t need to impress me with a fancy restaurant.” Her cheeks flushed pink as she tried to clarify.
Harry’s lips curled into a teasing smirk. “What if I told you we are eating here?”
Y/N’s eyes widened in disbelief. “A-are we?”
Without answering, Harry reached for her hand, brushing his lips over the back of it. “Y’ too cute,” he murmured. “Come on, they’re waiting for us.” He stepped out of the car, passing his keys to the valet standing nearby, before adjusting his blazer and moving to open the door for her, his hand stretched out toward her for her to grab onto.
Y/N hesitated, her mind reeling. There was no way they were eating at this restaurant—the kind with a year-long reservation list and three Michelin stars. She’d heard rumours that a single course here could cost more than her entire paycheck for the week. But as she took his hand and stepped out, it felt impossible to believe this was really happening.
Harry intertwined their fingers, offering a brief nod to the waiter who opened the door for them. “Harry… are you sure? They probably don’t have any tables for people just walking in,” she whispered.
He chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, love. I made some arrangements.”
Her brows furrowed in surprise. “Arrangements? How?”
Stopping at the ‘Please Wait to Be Seated’ sign, Harry finally turned to her with a playful twinkle in his eye. “I own the restaurant.”
Y/N’s mouth fell open as a waiter approached, menus tucked neatly under his arm. “Good evening, Mr. Styles. Your table is ready.”
Feeling like she was in a dream, Y/N walked hand-in-hand with Harry to a private table near the large glass windows at the back. The breathtaking view of the city’s skyline stretched out before them, and the table, set for two, was tucked away to offer them some privacy.
As they were seated, Y/N couldn’t help but notice the quiet stares and murmurs from other guests. She knew Harry owned a clothing business, but… just how successful was he?
The waiter laid the menus out in front of them and left them to decide what they wanted to order. Y/N hadn’t even noticed as her wide eyes gazed around the room at the glowing chandeliers.
Harry reached for her hand beneath the table, “Are y’ okay love?” He asked. Y/N’s gaze snapped towards him, “I hope ‘s not too much.”
“H-Harry, I really appreciate you bringing me here, I mean even stepping inside is a dream come true, but… I c-can’t afford this.” She felt awful saying it but it was true and it was better to tell him now than when she’d finished her meal, she wouldn’t want him thinking she was out for his money.
Harry frowned, “Bambi, this is a date. Y’ don’t have to pay for anything.”
“B-but I can’t use your money.” She told him.
She couldn’t hear it but Harry’s heart was singing in his chest. She was exactly what he was looking for someone totally opposite to all the women he had dated in his past.
He cupped her cheek in his hand, “Look at me Y/N,” Big, doe eyes gazed into his, “Please stop worrying and let me take care of you. I know y’ haven’t been given that in the past but ‘m here now and I want this. I wanted to bring y’ here and I want y’ to be spoiled and I want to treat you in the way you deserve. So can you pick something from the menu and let me look after you Bambi baby, please? Think you can do that?”
Her lips parted, slowly nodding her head but she quickly said one last thing, “You don’t have to take me to fancy places to make me feel spoiled Harry. I already feel spoiled enough just getting to be with you.”
He smiled, eyes glistening under the low light of the chandelier. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed as a small thank you. “Have you decided what you’re going to eat?”
"Hmmm," Harry grinned, watching Y/N's pouted lips as she studied the menu with intense concentration. "I can't decide between the truffle pasta or the smoked salmon!" she huffed, clearly torn.
"How about this," he offered with a shrug, "I’ll get the smoked salmon, you get the truffle pasta, and we can share? That way you can try both."
She glanced up at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “You don’t want something else?”
He had been planning on ordering the steak and potatoes, but seeing how much this small decision seemed to weigh on her, he didn’t mind changing his mind. The smoked salmon was one of his favourite dishes anyway.
When the waiter came over, Harry confidently placed the order for both of them, which made Y/N visibly relax. She hated the pressure of ordering her own food, so the simple act of him taking charge made her feel instantly at ease.
“We’ll make sure to have your order as a priority, Mr. Styles,” the waiter nodded respectfully before walking away.
Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow. They must really like you here.”
Harry chuckled softly, leaning back in his chair. “Didn’t I mention I owned a clothing business?”
“Mhm,” she nodded, “But I thought it was just a boutique or something.” She shrugged, clearly unaware of the scale.
Harry laughed a warm, deep sound that made her stomach flip. “Bambi,” he said, pulling her gently into his side until their cheeks were almost touching, “See that guy’s sweater? That woman’s hat? And that lady’s dress over there?” She nodded everytime he pointed towards them, her heart skipping a beat at their closeness. “We made all of those.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “W-wait, you own Pleasing?”
Harry nodded, a small, proud smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Y/N couldn’t even count how many times she had opened the Pleasing website, scrolling through pages of clothes she desperately wanted but couldn’t afford. And now, she was sitting across from its owner—no, she was on a date with him.
“Mhm,” he hummed, pulling away slightly to gauge her reaction. "Which reminds me, have you given any more thought to the job?"
She had, actually. The idea had been rolling around in her mind ever since he’d mentioned it. "What's the role again?" she asked, trying to sound casual.
"My assistant," Harry replied smoothly. "You’d help with emails, scheduling meetings, running errands—nothing too complicated. Just being my right hand.”
“Wouldn’t that be awkward, though? Since we’re, y’know... dating?”
Harry smirked, catching the implication. "So, there’s going to be a second date?" His teasing tone made her blush. “And if anything, it makes it better. I’d get to see you every day instead of just texting."
“But what about school?” Y/N asked, trying to think practically.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said easily. “Whatever you need. We can make it work.”
“Shouldn’t there be an interview or something?” she quipped, trying to lighten the moment, though her heart was racing.
Harry sighed dramatically, playing along. “Alright. Hello, Miss Y/L/N. Welcome to your official interview for the position of Mr. Styles’ personal assistant.”
Y/N giggled, her nerves easing as she followed his lead. “Well, hello Mr. Styles. Thank you for having me.”
Harry’s lips curled into a smile, his eyes twinkling as he played along. “First question,” he said, leaning closer, their faces now just inches apart. “How do you feel about spending every day with me? Answer carefully—it’s a tough one.”
Y/N couldn’t help but giggle, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. “Well, Mr. Styles, I think I could manage that.”
“Good answer,” he praised, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down her spine. “Next question: Can you handle a man who’s very particular about his coffee?”
She tilted her head, raising an eyebrow in playful suspicion. “Are we talking normal particular, or... like, twelve-steps-to-make-a-single-cup particular?”
Harry chuckled, his dimples deepening. “Maybe somewhere in between. But don’t worry, I can teach you.”
Y/N laughed softly, her nerves easing even more. Being around him was easy, natural—like slipping into something familiar and warm. “I think I could handle that.”
"One last question," Harry murmured, leaning in even closer. His gaze flickered to her lips for a brief second before locking back onto her eyes. "How do you feel about sneaking around with your boss?"
Her laughter died down, a trace of seriousness replacing it. She knew the risks—things had to stay professional, no hint of their relationship could slip through especially since Harry would not only be her boss but was the Senior Director and had to have the respect of everyone. But still, she couldn’t resist.
“I think it could be fun,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“Good,” He murmured, “I think you’ve passed the test, Bambi,” Y/N noticed how close his lips were to hers, if she moved her face forward they’d be touching, “Any questions?”
. . .
Harry pulled the car up to the curb just outside Y/N’s house, the gentle hum of the engine fading as he switched it off. The street was quiet, the only light coming from the street lamps casting long shadows on the pavement. Inside her house, the windows were dark, and she silently hoped her brothers were already asleep, sparing her the awkwardness of explaining why she wasn’t rushing inside.
The silence between them felt comfortable yet charged, neither making a move to leave. It was as if both of them knew the night shouldn’t end yet, even though it had to at some point. Y/N looked down at her hands, nervously tracing the edge of her coat, stealing glances at Harry every few moments. He seemed deep in thought, his fingers drumming lightly on the steering wheel, but the same hesitation hung in the air between them.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said softly, her voice breaking the silence.
He turned to her, his expression soft but intent, as if weighing every word. “Don’t need t’ thank me Bambi,” he replied, his eyes lingering on her face a moment longer than necessary.
“I wish I didn’t have to go home,” She huffed, looking down at her fingers on her lap.
Harry’s lips curved into a small smile, but there was a seriousness in his eyes. He leaned back in his seat, turning his body slightly toward her. “Y’ want to go back to mine?”
She wanted nothing more, the pain of saying no physically paining her, “M-my brothers... they have school,” she murmured.
“S okay,” He smiled.
The air between them felt thick with unspoken feelings, and she could feel her heart race as the weight of his gaze settled on her. He reached over, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his touch soft.
“Bambi,” he said quietly, his voice suddenly more intimate, like he was laying something important on the table.
She turned to face him fully, her breath catching as his fingers brushed against her cheek, lingering just long enough to make her pulse race. The space between them seemed to vanish, and suddenly, all she could think about was the way his lips would feel against hers.
Neither of them spoke. The tension that had been simmering all evening finally boiled over. Harry’s hand cupped her cheek, and in that quiet moment under the dim streetlights, he leaned in.
The kiss was gentle at first, tentative, like they were both testing the waters. But as soon as their lips touched, a wave of emotion flooded over her, and she couldn’t help but respond. Her hand found its way to the back of his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, slow and lingering. It wasn’t rushed or hurried—just soft, warm, and full of everything Y/N had been dreaming about for longer than she cared to admit.
When they finally pulled apart, Harry rested his forehead against hers, both of them catching their breath, their lips still tingling from the kiss. His hand lingered on her cheek, as though neither of them was ready to let the moment slip away just yet.
Y/N opened her mouth to say something, maybe to break the silence or make a joke about how long they’d waited for this. But before she could speak, a loud thud startled her. She turned her head, eyes widening as the lights in her house flickered on. And there they were—her brothers, pressed against the living room window, grinning like fools and making exaggerated kissy faces at them.
“Oh my God,” Y/N groaned, mortified. Her face flushed a deep shade of red as she fumbled with her seatbelt. "This is so embarrassing."
She pushed the door open and scrambled out of her seat, grabbing her purse in a flurry of panic. “I am so sorry, Harry. I-I have to go,” she stammered, her words tumbling out in a rush as she awkwardly tried to regain her composure. “Thank you for dinner, a-and the kiss! Oh, and the job too!”
In her haste, her heel caught on a paving stone, and she stumbled slightly, her purse nearly slipping from her hand as she made her way toward the front door.
Harry watched her, his mouth half open, caught between amusement and disbelief. She was flustered, rambling, and absolutely adorable. He couldn't stop the soft chuckle that escaped him as he leaned back in his seat, shaking his head.
"Bambi!" he called out the car window, grinning. “I'll take that as a yes on the job?”
Y/N turned back briefly, her face flushed but her smile shy and genuine. “Yes! Definitely yes!” she called over her shoulder, before hurrying inside, her brothers still laughing from the window.
As she disappeared through the door, Harry chuckled to himself, the warmth from their kiss still lingering. He turned the ignition on, shaking his head in disbelief at how the night had unfolded. It was far from the graceful goodbye he had imagined, but somehow, it felt perfect. He couldn’t stop smiling as he pulled away from the curb.
Yeah, he thought to himself, that definitely meant she was taking the job.
#harry styles fic rec#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagines#harry styles imagine#harry styles fic#harry edward styles#harry styles one shot#fanfiction#fanfic rec#ceoharry#ceo!harry#ceo!harrystyles#harry styles writing#harry styles rec#shy!reader#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#one direction#harry styles fluff#fluff
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For the past two Wednesdays I’ve run into two people who ghosted me a couple years ago in entirely different situations this is actually so funny
#Like we met at different places and everything#my post#they both ghosted me in the same month but like a few weeks apart#Probably for unrelated reasons since I don’t think they’re friends#The first time I was super awkward and like literally shaking and shit while they were just acting cool#And then I began crying five minutes later#But today she was the shocked one and I was in the opposite position#Wonder who I’m going to meet next week#Actually like four or so people ghosted me during That Month so it could happen again#I still don’t know why which is Such a fun emotion#Kinda want to be friends with the first one again but my other friends hate them for unrelated reasons
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - FIVE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mention of pregnancy; abortion; lack of self-care
You’ve had to make a lot of unfortunate decisions in your life.
Choosing a place for your entire family to rest for eternity, picking the caskets, the headstones—it felt like deciding which curtains to buy for the house, except you were burying your entire close family.
After the crash, your parents were gone instantly, just like that—no goodbyes, no warning, just there one moment and gone the next.
But your sister survived. Three days. You thought maybe that was a sign, she’d live despite everything, and you wouldn’t be left alone.
Two weeks later, the doctors told you it was time, but you couldn’t accept it. You held her hand, begging her to stay, telling her every promise you could think of if she opened her eyes.
When the monitors finally went flat, you couldn’t feel anything but desperation. Rafe had to pull you out of there, his arms locked around you while you kicked and screamed, sobbing and begging your sister not to go, not to leave you here.
You fought him with everything you had left, clawing, crying, pleading for just one more second. You were screaming so loud you didn’t even recognize your voice. Everything good had been ripped away from your hands, there was nothing left of the world you’d known.
After that, you remember sitting in some stuffy funeral home office, skimming through catalogs and hardly seeing the pages through your tears. The caskets all looked the same, the types of wood made no difference to you, fabric linings, all of it felt so wrong.
None of it was a choice you should have to make.
It was unthinkable to be contemplating about gravestones. How could you sum up your family in limited words or dates, let alone choose a font for it?
You just picked something neutral and blank, something that didn’t require thought or emotion because, by then, you had nothing left to give.
Now you were trapped again, caught between a rock and a hard place.
Your first thought had been telling Topper, your only real family left, but he was as much Rafe’s as he was yours, and when it came down to it, he was still his best friend. Loyal to him since they were five, and jesus knows how he’d react if he found out about this. He’d most likely freak the fuck out and tell Rafe everything, thinking he was doing the right thing, or worse, letting it slip to Ruthie.
Ruthie—no chance you’d involve her. She’d just see this as another fucked up piece of gossip she could hold over your head, another way to judge or control you. She was “friend” only in the loosest sense of the word.
Kelce was the last person you’d consider turning to for something this serious. He has always been there, but you never got close. He was too much of an instigator, always pushing Rafe to do reckless things he’d regret later, peer pressuring him in ways that made you wonder if he even knew what loyalty meant. He had this weird loyalty to Ruthie, defending her comments as if she was some misunderstood angel when really, she was just… mean.
So that left Sarah.
It felt weird, thinking of her as the person you’d call on for something so serious, she was the only one who felt… safe. She wouldn’t judge, wouldn’t pry, she’d seen what the worst kind of family conflict could do, and she’d keep this private, just for you.
It’s then you recognized how small your world was. How few people were truly yours.
You were pretty sure no one in this town would fully understand, they’d just offer their "advice," as if they knew you, seen what you’d been through.
The truth was, they didn’t know shit. They hadn't seen you holding your sister’s hand, begging her to stay alive. They didn’t know what it was like to bury everything that made you feel like a person, like you belonged somewhere, and have to get up the next day like nothing happened.
Nine days, you would be halfway across the country, and you needed someone. You pictured saying it out loud: “I’m pregnant", just those two words, to someone’s face, you had no idea what to say next.
Maybe you’d tell them that it wasn’t about wanting it gone out of spite or shame, but because you couldn’t bring a child into a world where you felt this alone.
Earlier that morning, you’d stared down at your phone, thumb itching to click on Sarah’s name, like just pressing "call" could fix everything. You despised how needy it made you feel—reaching out, when you’d prided yourself on surviving alone.
You didn’t have much time to ponder about it, because you were stuck at the beach cleanup.
Just like every other summer, another "social responsibility" event that your late father’s foundation insisted you smile through. Even back then, when they were alive, your summers were a carousel of charity galas, fundraisers, endless hours of small talk, and impeccably arranged seating charts.
The board members of the foundation probably thought it would “ground” you—remind you of your privilege, of your “responsibility” to give back. As if a couple of hours and a few bags of garbage would somehow balance the scales. They never seemed to understand how much of it was all for show, this shallow idea that if you looked the part, no one would care to learn more.
But, still, you’d show up. You always did. Smile, make just enough small talk to appease the right people.
Today, it was just you, a few kids and teens dotted along the beach with oversized trash bags. It wasn’t even noon, but the sun felt like it was scorching you alive. It was laughable, really, standing under this blistering sun with a cheap trash bag and an endless stretch of sand to clean.
Kie, who was so genuinely invested in this whole “save the planet” thing it was almost enviable was there too with JJ, who was running around her as usual, wearing his ‘I’m just here for the ride’ expression but enjoying himself. The love between them made you miss having someone who cared in ways that weren’t just calculated moves.
She waved at you from the shoreline, her eyes moving to the trash bag you were barely half-filling.
You weren’t friends, but if Sarah liked her, you did too.
You offered a faint smile back, tired, because between all the shit you’d been thinking about, you'd forgotten to eat, to drink anything, and every time you leaned down to grab another crumpled plastic bottle or a bit of seaweed-laden garbage, you felt like your legs were about to give out on you.
Every now and then, she would throw a quick, appraising glance your way, like she was expecting you to miraculously become invested in the beach’s ecosystem.
You didn’t have it in you to pretend this was enjoyable today. The “effortless” philanthropy your family loved was a lifestyle you’d never bought into. It didn’t matter how many smiling photos of you had ended up on some charity’s social media—you knew you’d rather be anywhere else.
You had to take a break every few minutes, leaning against a pier post, trying to get yourself together as a few of the younger kids gave you wary glances. You could have left—probably should have.
You managed a tight-lipped smile, giving a thumbs-up that said, Just doing great over here, guys!
You were in a long t-shirt, which hung over your bikini and shorts, the fabric slightly oversized, to help hide what was still a small change in your body. Paranoia was your new best friend, always worrying that someone would notice something different, even if you didn’t have a noticeable bump yet.
Bending down to grab another plastic bottle, you felt a stab of nausea hit you hard, rolling up from your stomach, thick and sour, but you ignored it. Not here. Not now.
You straightened up too fast, and your vision blurred slightly, that familiar sense of vertigo hitting you. You took a shallow breath, ignoring the burn at the back of your throat, your hands shaking slightly as you adjusted the bag slung over your shoulder.
One girl looked up at you with these wide eyes kids like to pull, “Are you okay?”
You smiled, brushing it off as if you weren’t about two seconds away from collapsing. “Of course. Just... need a second.”
The kids were watching you again, with that look of curiosity. You couldn’t look them in the eye. It wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t understand that sometimes the grown-ups didn’t know what they were doing either.
Just a few more bags of trash and you’d be able to get back to your car, maybe grab some water from the cooler in the trunk, sit down, and think about it.
This used to be easy, you got a weird kind of enjoyment from these cleanups, running around with your sister, making it a competition to see who could pick up the most trash, laughing until your stomachs hurt over stupid jokes about jellyfish and sunscreen. Back then, this was just one of a thousand little family traditions, one of those things that felt effortless.
Now, sweat dripped down the back of your neck, making your skin prickle uncomfortably.
You’d long given up wiping it away, knowing that it would only come back thicker and hotter the next second. Every instinct told you to run off to the parking lot, and sit in the car with the AC blasting until your body remembered it didn’t hate you.
Leaning down for one last bottle wedged in the sand, your legs wobbled and gave way beneath you. Just like that, your vision was spotty, as if someone had turned down the brightness on the entire beach, and you pitched forward.
Just as you felt yourself going down, a hand caught your arm, pulling you back up.
"Whoa, whoa, you okay?" A teenage boy, maybe sixteen, gripped your arm firmly, keeping you upright.
How much longer could they realistically expect you to go on, plastering on that sweet, dutiful smile? How much “grounding” could one person take?
You blinked, trying to clear the haze in your eyes, "I’m fine. Just a little lightheaded, really, it’s fine,” you insisted, but then a shadow loomed beside you.
Your vision was so foggy that it took seconds for you to register it.
You looked up slowly, feeling a familiar drop in your stomach as you realized who it was.
The last time you’d been this close to him, the two of you had been screaming insults across the room, Lily having to physically step in. She’d forced him to leave before you two killed each other. It was a miracle you hadn’t punched him then and there.
“You should sit down.”
It felt like a sidekick to your chest.
The sound of his voice was grinding on your nerves, and just like that you were stuck back in your dream, a real memory, leaning against him, his hand playing with a strand of your hair as he laughed at something you’d said, the two of you carefree under a golden sunset.
Except this was real.
Rafe was shirtless, with his board tucked under one arm, surf wax staining his fingers, and the sun glinting off his damp skin, like he was God’s gift to the Outer Banks. His buzzed hair was dark and wet, droplets trailing down his temples and catching along his jawline. His cheeks were flushed, a little red from the heat.
You looked away, somewhere over his shoulder, anywhere but at him, refusing to let him see you in this fragile state.
“Go away. I’m fine.”
But he didn’t move.
He’d been summoned from your absolute worst memories, catching you at your lowest when you least wanted his help. Typical.
“No,” he refused firmly, with that stupid, stubborn look that made you want to throw something at his head. “I’ve seen you almost fall three times now.”
“Maybe if you stopped looking at me like a creep, you wouldn’t have to see me ‘almost fall.”
“I wasn’t—"
You grounded your teeth, “Just go back to surfing.”
Rafe let out a dry laugh, shaking his head as if you were the one acting crazy. “Yeah, 'cause you look perfectly stable right now.”
He'd always been a master of the passive-aggressive half-sneer, the art of making you feel like everyone else was imposing on his day, no matter the situation.
“Don’t act like you care.” you snapped, voice carrying over the sand, earning a few glances from nearby kids.
He ran a hand over his face, looking around as if he didn’t want to be there any more than you did, mouth pressed into a tight line. You wanted to scream that this was his fault too, that every choice he’d made led to you standing here alone, exhausted, and terrified.
“Water would help, y’know”, his tone just shy of patronizing “You can’t go around dehydrating yourself just to make a point.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Your fingers twitched with the urge to send him stumbling to the other side of the beach, you knew that any sudden movement would make you light-headed again, and the last thing you wanted was to give him more proof of your weakness.
The kid—still standing there, eyes wide and darting between you both—looked like he was watching a reality TV show when Kiara appeared at your side.
“Let’s not do this here,” she begged under her breath, handing you a bottle of water she’d brought over, a kindness you didn’t want but couldn’t reject. “Just sit down for a second, please?”
JJ followed, always with that air of easygoing nonchalance, but his eyes were serious as he glanced from you to Rafe.
“She’s right. Just take a second, yeah?” He looked over at Rafe, “Maybe you should leave,” he said pointedly.
“Maybe you should mind your fuckin’ business Maybank.”
“Look, uh,” the kid stammered, knowing he could get caught in the crossfire. “I’ll… I’ll go see if anyone needs help further down the beach…”
You waved him off, your focus still locked on Rafe as the kid all but bolted away, you didn’t want anyone to think they had to “rescue” you.
You tried to take a step back, but the little strength you had in you disappeared as you felt your knees wobble.
"Jesus," you heard him groan, and then his hands were on your arms, board on the sand, holding you as you stumbled. "I told you to sit down."
You shook his hands off, "Don’t tell me what to do.”
It was hard to believe the two of you had once burned hotter than any bonfire, two people who got under each other’s skin, in love, and in hate.
He let out an exasperated sigh while you took a sip from the water Kiara handed you, ignoring how your hands were still shaking around the bottle.
She spoke again, trying to be the voice of reason, "We’re here to help the community, remember?"
JJ smirked, "Yeah, think the sea turtles are rooting for y’all to work out your issues somewhere else.”
You ignored his joke, keeping your eyes on Rafe, your pride and stubbornness refusing to let him win, “I’m fine.”
“Yeah?”
He looked you over, his gaze fixed to your warm cheeks and the dewy sheen across your temple, “You look real fine, don’t you?” He didn’t even try to cloak his sarcasm.
God, he could be so exasperating.
He couldn’t understand. How could he even think he could look at you now and know anything about who you were? Standing there, with that stupid board and that look, like he couldn’t imagine anything bothering him as much as this seemed to be bothering you.
As if he hadn’t already ruined you in so many ways that felt impossible to get over.
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
“Oh, believe me, I do,” he drawled, his eyes trailing from the waves back to you.
You were tired of this game, of fighting him every time he showed up only to leave you feeling even emptier than before.
Your fists clenched, and you opened your mouth to hurl something back, but the dizziness hit you again. Before you could compose yourself, Rafe’s arm wrapped around your waist, strong and frustratingly secure, holding you upright with an ease that made your skin crawl.
He had seen you at your weakest, had been there at the hospital after the accident, keeping you together when you were certain you’d break.
Yet, here you were, in a sick way, back in his arms, all broken apart.
“That’s it. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“I hate to say it, but he’s right,” JJ chimed in, hand shielding his eyes from the sun.
The world alone had all kinds of alarms going off in your brain. You fought back instinctively, your hands pushing at his chest, freeing your arm.
“I told you, I’m fine.”
He let go, but he didn’t back away.
Instead, he narrowed his eyes, “You think I don’t know what fine looks like? I was there.”
He was there. And you didn’t want to be reminded of it, not in front of other people.
He meant the exhaustion and hunger pains you’d welcomed after your family was gone, embraced even, because it meant you wouldn’t have to feel anything else.
You’d wanted to disappear, and he’d been there—dragging you back, forcing you to drink water and swallow bites of food, even when you pushed him away. He’d seen you at your absolute lowest, where you didn’t care if you made it through the day.
The thought of the hospital, tests, questions, you fought it, but your vision was already blurring.
You couldn’t let him find out about the baby.
Your breathing felt tighter, each shallow breath only making the spinning worse, you could sense your body giving in to the exhaustion
“Shit,” you heard him curse, sounding distant now like he was farther away.
You felt yourself sway as if the ground was opening beneath you, there was a ringing in your ears that made his voice sound muffled but you still felt his arms catching you again, holding you upright before you fell.
Waking up in a moving vehicle was like emerging from a nightmare, except somehow, this was worse, because you were no longer at the beach.
You blinked hard, desperate to wipe the fogginess in your eyes and when it did go away, you realized who was behind the wheel.
Rafe.
Your heart pounded—your desperation to keep the baby a secret, how you almost passed out at the beach, and the fact that now he was most likely driving you to the hospital.
“What the hell are you doing?” you practically screamed, your voice hoarse from the lack of water.
He didn’t spare you a glance, “You passed out, genius. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Your whole body went rigid. “Are you insane?”
“Me?” He scoffed, as he kept his focus on the road. “You practically ate sand back there. You’re not fine.”
“Turn the car around. I’ll call my driver and be fine.” You huffed like he was too dumb to understand. “I don’t need your help.”
He let out a dry laugh, still not looking at you.
“Yeah. You’re out of your mind if you think I’m letting you out of this car right now.”
“Rafe, I’m not kidding,” you warned, louder this time. “Stop. The. Car.”
He gave you a sideways glance, his grip on the wheel tightening.
“Not happening.”
Your heart hammered as you realized he wasn’t going to back down, you were driven by sheer desperation.
“Fine, then I’ll do it myself." you muttered, reaching for the door handle.
Anything to get out of this suffocating car before he dragged you all the way to the ER and they found out you were pregnant—with his baby, no less.
His eyes widened, finally snapping from the road to your hand on the handle.
“Are you crazy? Get your hand off that, I’m fuckin' serious.”
You yanked at it anyway, twisting the handle and pulling with spiteful defiance, and Rafe’s expression went from annoyed to full-on rage. He swerved the car to the side of the road, tires skidding as he slammed the brakes and practically threw the car into park.
Before he could even stop fully, you flung the door open and stumbled out, sandals sinking into the gravel as you stalked away.
You didn’t get more than a few feet, he was already bolting after you.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, digging your nails into your palms.
How the hell had it come to this? You were stuck here, pregnant with his child, and he played the reluctant hero like you needed him swooping in to save you.
Rafe reached you in two strides, his fingers were digging into his forehead, pointing at it with exasperation imprinted into every corner of his face.
“Are you out of your fuckin' mind?” He sounded like he was talking to some unruly child.
And the worst part? You could see that frustration in his eyes, the same look he used to give you when he’d reached his limit with you.
You wondered if he ever got to that point with Sofia.
What would he do if she was the one almost fainting? Would he still look like she was some colossal burden, or would he soften, maybe even smile as he fussed over her, acting like he wanted to help?
You hated yourself for caring at all.
Sofia—the one who looked like she'd been ripped off from some perfect postcard, all wide-eyed sweetness and gentle smiles. She probably never challenged him, snapped back, or made him want to pull his hair out.
There was no way he’d look at her like she was a mess, someone he just had to “deal with.” He likely saw her as easy, perfect, all soft and sweet words, everything you weren’t.
This wasn’t who you wanted to be, and yet here you were, stumbling around half-dead and pregnant with his child.
“I’m sorry, am I bothering you?” You spat the words, watching his jaw clench tighter.
He exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes.
“Unbelievable. Only you could take me trying to help and turn it into this.”
You were done. You were done with the memories, with the torment of seeing him be something better for someone else.
“Help?” You laughed bitterly, the anger engulfing you so hard it felt as if it choking you. “You think this is help? That I need you, of all people?”
He took a step back, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I'm trying to help."
You hated how calm he was, how rational he sounded.
It was maddening when all you wanted was for him to get angry, to let that icy surface crack, to give you even a glimpse of something real, something that wasn’t just irritation or sarcasm.
You wanted proof that he still was affected by you, that this was the same guy who used to be everything, who’d promised you everything.
But you swallowed it down, straightening up, because there was no way in hell, you’d let him see even a hint of weakness.
“Trust me,” you shot back, “I’ll be just fine without you.”
He raised an eyebrow, a bitter smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Get in the car.”
“No,” you said, firm and unyielding, every inch of you screaming that you wouldn’t let him decide anything for you ever again.
“Fine. Have it your way.”
In one swift move, he reached out, his hands gripping your arms with enough pressure to pull you forward, lifting you clean off your feet. Your breath caught in a furious gasp as he practically dragged you back to the car, his fingers warm against your skin, like you were just a mild convenience.
“Put me down!”
You struggled against his hold, jabbing at his chest with what little strength you could muster, but he didn’t even flinch, didn’t so much as hesitate.
“Rafe, I swear—”
He opened the passenger door with one hand, keeping a firm grip on you with the other, before finally setting you down—not gently—onto the seat. Without meaning to, tears began falling as you struggled against his hands. You could feel them wetting your cheeks, your voice was breaking, jumping to distress as you tried to twist out of his hold, feeling so small under his unrelenting strength.
He almost knelt in front of you, reaching for the seat belt with one hand, while his other remained firmly on your shoulder, holding you still. You felt trapped, impresioned as you tried to turn in every direction, hands weakly pushing him back, but he caught them effortlessly.
“Stop!” you meekly choked out, failing to shove him, the words coming out shameful.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again.
You hated that he was seeing you like this, how he dared to act like you needed him—it made your skin crawl. You hated that he could do this, like he had any right like you’d ever wanted him involved in this part of your life, let alone now.
This was a version of you only Rafe could bring out.
You glared up at him, practically shaking with rage as Rafe ignored your protests like you were nothing more than a child throwing a fit.
“Get your hands off me.”
His jaw tightened, ignoring the flailing punches and slaps grazing him, and you couldn’t stop the sob that escaped, loud and ugly.
“I’m not letting you kill yourself out of spite.”
Your chest hurt like you’d been run over a hundred times—it felt suffocating. “I hate you.”
For the first time, you thought he might actually leave you here.
His fingers stopped as if your words had made an impact, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your vision blurred as he leaned in, his touch hovering as if to wipe away the tear running down your cheek, but he didn’t, instead, he closed his hand into a fist and drew back, his face just inches from yours.
A faint, humorless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he clicked the seatbelt into place. He made a low humming noise, that thing he did when he was getting ready to make someone feel two inches tall.
"Yeah? Get in line."
Without another word, he pulled back, slamming the door shut, and walking around to the driver’s side.
You wiped at your cheeks, furious that he’d seen you like this, that he had the power to break you down. It was humiliating, sitting here in his car, every part of your body screaming to escape.
He got in, started the engine, neither of you spoke.
Rafe drove fast, every rev of the engine matching the churning in your stomach perfectly. You sat there, trembling, the dread building with every mile that passed. You gripped the seatbelt so hard it felt like your entire body might go numb, and stared straight ahead, breathing shallow, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes.
You bit back another wave of nausea. Weakness.
You’d already shown him too much.
You didn’t need a lecture from some doctor on how you “should’ve taken better care of yourself", let alone with Rafe there, watching, scrutinizing, acting like this was his business when he’d made it clear long ago that it wasn’t. He was in your space in the worst way, reopening all the wounds.
You were seething. He had no right to do this.
The thought made you want to drop dead—doctor would walk in, casually drop the news about the baby, and you'd be left watching his reaction in real time.
You looked at the entrance to the ER. The vision of anyone running tests, of some well-meaning nurse, coming in and spilling everything about the baby in front of him—no way. You wouldn’t let that happen.
He wasted no time getting out, moving around to your side, while you sat rigidly, staring straight ahead. His hand was already on the door, yanking it open, looking down at you like he was ready to drag you inside if he had to.
You weren’t moving. You knew the second you stepped inside, it would be over.
“C’mon,” Rafe pressed, his hand outstretched, hovering there like he thought he could compel you to listen. “Stop being so stubborn.”
You crossed your arms over your stomach, refusing to meet his eyes.
“I’m not going in.”
Rafe let out a sigh, nearing his limit, and knelt down to your level.
“Look, you passed out. I’m not leaving until you get checked out.”
“You’re gonna be here for a while then.”
“Would you stop?” His voice softened for the first time, as if he was trying to reach some part of you that he thought still cared. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, like you haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t out of a vending machine. I know you don’t want my help, but can you just stop for a second and—”
“And what?” you interrupted.
“And think! If you don’t get in there, I’ll drag you in myself.”
Your heart raced, “You wouldn’t dare.”
Rafe stepped closer; his jaw set in determination. “Try me.”
“You’re not coming in."
He blinked like the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “What?”
Maybe he was seeing the protection you’d built up around yourself since he left, how there was no longer any crack left open for him to slip through.
“I don’t need you. I don’t want you in there.”
“Fine.” His tone was clipped, restrained. “But I’ll be right here.”
You slammed the door shut behind you, not letting him your legs still shaking. You’d rather collapse face-first into the concrete than give him the satisfaction of listening to him.
“Yeah, you do that,” you replied, turning and walking toward the entrance, refusing to look back.
Stepping inside, you felt a slight tremor run through you—part relief, part panic. The lights were too bright, almost white. Your heart wobbled, replaying how he’d been such a fucking asshole to you.
You’d forgotten how mean he could be, how easily he could go from angry to something so frigid it made you want to cry yourself to sleep.
“Hi there,” The receptionist greeted, her eyes moving over you with a professional once-over, “What brings you in today?”
You forced a small smile, knowing she wouldn’t buy it.
“Just…got a little dehydrated, that’s all.”
“Okay…let’s just get some basic information.” She clicked into her computer, her fingers poised over the keyboard. “Name?”
You cleared your throat, rattling off your full name, she nodded, typing it in.
“Have you experienced any other symptoms besides dizziness?”
“Nothing serious,” you replied, dismissively. “It’s just the heat, like I said. I just need some water and I’ll be good as new.”
This had to be a fucking nightmare you got sucked in, you could sense your blood pressure spike.
She tapped her screen and glanced back at you.
“Alright, Miss Thornton, it looks like we’ll just need a few quick details here to get you all checked in. Can I start with your insurance provider?”
A chuckle almost slipped out of you. Insurance—God, you were fine with insurance. What you weren’t okay with was everything else. You answered, “Blue Cross.”
She asked for your birthdate, which you gave on autopilot, hoping she’d skip any weird or invasive questions. “Any allergies?”
You shook your head. Please, just let this be over.
“It’s really not a big deal,” You blurted out, giving her a thin smile and forcing calm into your voice. “I just need the IV. You know, standard stuff.”
“Of course, dear. We’ll get things started, it will include routine tests, like bloodwork, just to be safe.”
Bloodwork. Perfect. You were doing everything you could to keep from falling into that spiraling panic mode.
Please, just get me in, get me out, and don’t find anything.
“Just head down to Room 12.”
All you could think was that you wanted this to be over—before the whole town, or worse, he, found out. It made you want to scream. He was the last person who should be outside.
This was his fault. You’d never be here if he hadn’t shown up.
The next hour passed in seconds—questions, forms, an IV drip.
They’d done blood work, too, but you’d sighed in relief when they’d told you the results wouldn’t be ready immediately. As far as they knew, you’d just overdone it, and now, as you lay on a cot in a room that reeked of sick people, all they’d prescribed was rest, hydration, and food.
When the nurse asked if anyone could pick you up, the thought of calling someone, asking them to see you like this, made you delirious. You didn’t need anyone; you were perfectly fine on your own.
But you also didn’t want Rafe and his delusional ass to barge through the doors.
The nurse moved around you awkwardly, eyes still expectant, as if you were just a button away from a reliable “someone” to come running.
You looked at her, controlling the compulsion to yell. Little people ever bothered to check on you, to show up for more than just the drama or gossip.
Out of them, only one face bounced around in your head.
“Yeah, I got someone.”
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